Who are you Waiting On?

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Ever had an idea you believed in—until someone else’s doubt made you second-guess yourself? 
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In this episode, Kim shares why waiting for approval can shrink your vision, how she learned to trust her own belief (even when it was hard), and the one question that can help you move forward without anyone else’s permission. Let’s talk about what happens when you stop outsourcing your confidence—and start building what’s next, your way.

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Episode Transcript

Unknown (00:00):
You're listening to get unruly, the podcast where we
smash the rules that keep yousmall and build what's next with
radical clarity and boldconfidence. I'm Kim bolourchi.
Let's get unruly.
SoI'm curious. Have you ever had
an idea you were sure was yourvery best ever. You thought
about it, got more and moreexcited until you just couldn't

(00:24):
hold it in anymore. And thenfinally shared it with someone
you trusted, someone you weresure was going to get it. And
instead of them being super,super excited, you got the look,
the look that said, Wait, what?
I don't get it.
And maybe they said, I don'tunderstand that's not going to

(00:47):
work. Maybe they told you that'snever been done. Why do you
think you can do it? Or maybe,as someone once said to me, are
you on crack?
And what happens most of thetime, for you, for me, for
almost all of us, is we retreat.
We second guess, we starttelling ourselves maybe it
wasn't such a good idea afterall, and sometimes this is where

(01:08):
the idea ends. But here's whatyou need to know,
the idea could have been bad. Itcould have been brilliant. The
point is we gave someone elsethe power to decide its fate
before it ever had a chance tobreathe.
I used to work with a leader.
We'll call him John, just so Idon't expose anyone. He was
really sharp, always thinkingbig, always coming up with new

(01:33):
ideas. But every time he sharedone, his boss shut him down. He
would say things like, that'snot realistic. That's too risky.
That's just not how we dothings. And it happened so many
times that eventually Johnstopped speaking up. He started
to doubt himself, and finally heleft the company to start his
own Now, that sounds like ahappy ending, right? No more

(01:57):
approvals. His own shop.
Complete freedom. But here's thetwist that no one sees coming.
When John built his own company,he repeated the same exact
pattern. This time, he was theone shutting down ideas. He was
the one who couldn't see thebrilliance in front of him. Why?

(02:19):
Because if you spend yearsoutsourcing your belief, you
don't just lose trust in yourown ideas, you lose the ability
to recognize and nurture it inothers. John had internalized
this message, ideas can't betrusted unless someone else
signs off. So when bold ideasshowed up on his team, he
treated them exactly the way hisboss treated him, dismissive,

(02:41):
skeptical, quick, to shut itdown. And that's the cycle. When
you don't trust yourself, youend up passing that down. You
end up passing down the samedisbelief. You wind up
recreating the very environmentthat you wanted to escape.
And I'll tell you, I've livedthis myself. Years ago, I

(03:02):
started something called ProjectBe confident. I believed in it
with my whole entire heart. Iknew it mattered, but when I
first shared it with my dad, wholoves me, his first words were,
who's gonna pay for that? You'rea lawyer, like your hourly rate
is so much more than you'll everbe able to make with this thing.

(03:24):
I was absolutely devastated,gutted, because when someone you
love and trust questions yourvision, it cuts really deep. And
then it got even harder. Theregistrations didn't roll in. It
took quite some time beforepeople started signing up for
the first event. And so I hadthese moments of doubt, moments

(03:45):
where I wondered if maybe he wasright, maybe I was completely
delusional, and this idea thatyoung girls and teenagers needed
some help advocating forthemselves under pressure was
just, you know, something Ibelieved in, but nobody else
did. But here's the difference,I did believe in it, I still
believed in it, and I stayed thecourse. I kept going, even when

(04:08):
approval wasn't forthcoming,even when the proof wasn't
there. And you know what projectbe confident ended up changing a
lot of lives. That experiencetaught me something I will never
forget, if you wait for otherpeople's belief to fuel you,
you'll quit before thebreakthrough. But if you trust
your own belief, you can carryit long enough for others to

(04:30):
catch up. And that's the rulewe're smashing today, the rule
that other people's approvalmatters more than your belief in
yourself. Let's just call itwhat it is. Every time you wait
for permission, you shrink yourvision to fit someone else's
comfort zone. And here's thewild part. Half the time the

(04:50):
people you're waiting on,they're not even qualified to
weigh in. They've never builtwhat you're trying to build.
They've never risked what you'rewilling to risk. And.
Yet one skeptical comment fromthem, and suddenly you're ready
to bury your own brilliance thatis not protection that is giving
away your future.
This is why, in strategicunruliness, I talk about radical

(05:12):
clarity, because when you'reclear on what is yours to do,
you stop outsourcing yourbelief. You stop waiting for
someone else to say, yes, youcan finally say, This is mine.
I'm going to do this whether youapprove or not.
So here's what you need to know.
The most important belief youwill ever hold is the one you

(05:33):
hold in yourself. Without it,even the best ideas will stall,
and with it, even the wildestideas can take off.
So this week, here's your unrulymove. I want you to ask
yourself, Where am I waiting forapproval before I act? Write it

(05:54):
down. Be so freaking honest. Andthen take one step, just one
without asking anyone for theirpermission or approval, prove to
yourself that your belief isenough to create momentum.
Thanks for listening to getunruly. If today's episode hit
home, it would mean the world ifyou left a quick review, it

(06:16):
helps other bull leaders findthe show. And if you're ready to
go deeper. Check the show notesfor two links my radical clarity
quiz to uncover the rule runningyour leadership and early access
to my book strategic unrulinessout October 21 until next time,
stay unruly. You.