April 24, 2025 • 37 mins
Hey friends—welcome to the very first episode of my new "Code Series" on the Getting After It podcast.
Over the next few months, we’re diving deep into the personal and historical codes that have shaped warriors, leaders, and everyday legends. From samurai and Bushido to pirates and medieval knights, we’ll look at how people from different walks of life created rules that anchored their actions and built resilience. But before we explore their codes, I wanted to share mine.
In this episode, I walk you through the 7 core principles that make up my personal code—and how each one has shaped my mindset, my discipline, my relationships, and my purpose. We talk about:
- Leaving the comfort of home to chase growth
- Why daily workouts aren’t about abs—they’re about proving I can show up
- The power of uplifting others, even when no one’s watching
- My non-negotiable loyalty to my wife, Ally
- And how mottos like “Discipline Equals Freedom” and “The Man in the Arena” are more than quotes—they’re internal armor
By the end of this episode, I hope you’re ready to sit down, reflect, and write your own code. Because a personal code isn’t wallpaper. It’s armor. It’s what keeps you grounded when life gets messy.
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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.
This podcast is built for you—the dreamers and the doers. My goal is to provide a space where you can find inspiration, learn from others, and feel empowered to chase what matters most to you.
Your dreams are within your grasp. All you need is the commitment to Get After It.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Brett (00:00):
Hey friends, welcome back to the Getting After it podcast
.
This is the very firstinstallment of my new series
that I'm going to be talkingabout, which is our code series,
and we're going to be studyingover the next few months famous
codes like the samurai, bushido,medieval chivalry, and we're
going to even dive into somepirates because, believe it or
not, they had a code they livedby as well.
(00:22):
But before we get to that point, I'm going to talk about my own
code, what I live by, what thatmeans and how it helps me get
after it.
So, without further ado, let'sget into it, baby.
All right, a little update.
(00:42):
It's been a long week, it's beena little hard.
I've been a long week, it'sbeen a little hard, I've been
traveling a lot, I've been sick,but hey, we're back at it,
we're getting after it.
That's the whole point of thismindset is that when things
happen, you pivot and you makedo with what you have.
So thanks for being patient asI work on getting some of these
episodes created and uploaded.
But we're back to it and, justas I mentioned in the intro,
(01:06):
this is going to be the firstinstallment of our code series,
because I think there's a lotthat we can learn from with
other people's codes of conductthat they have their own
personal codes that they live by, and pretty much the values and
the virtues that peopleimplement into their lives to
make them who they are and tohelp them guided and like
(01:27):
decision making and that kind ofthing too.
So it is important to have acode, and I'm putting my own
personal code on the table todaybecause I'm going to be peeling
back the layers of my ownbeliefs and help me drive myself
and leave things behind likecomfort, learn how to sweat
(01:47):
daily and own my mistakes, keepmy promises, especially the
people I love the most, and bythe end of this episode, you'll
not only know my own code, buthopefully you'll have the exact
prompts and exercises to buildyour own.
That's ultimately what this isfor.
Prompts and exercises to buildyour own.
That's ultimately what this isfor.
(02:07):
So grab a notebook or put onyour favorite shoes and go for a
run, if that's what you like todo with podcasts.
Settle down with your favoritedrink.
I'll bring mine out.
Got a little bit of Barks rootbeer here, zero sugar.
Don't be crazy as I spill onmyself.
Great way to start an episode,okay.
Anyways, I have been thinkingabout like what principles I
(02:32):
live by that I would deem as myown code.
It's pretty simple, but I wantto first talk about why this
came up and what got me startedthinking about this.
And about three years ago I tooka leap for myself, and it was a
leap of courage.
I decided to leave my house inArizona and move up to Utah,
(02:52):
which none of my immediatefamily lived there.
It was only close relatives,aunts and uncles, a couple of
cousins that live in Utah, and Iwas very comfortable where I
was at.
I was living with my parents,rent free and still working a
full-time job.
The fridge would magically getrefilled because my mom was
(03:13):
always taking care of it.
All my close loved ones were bymy brothers.
I would say they're my bestfriends.
They were right next to me,they were my support system at
the time.
But there was something thatneeded to change in my life.
I noticed it, I recognized it.
(03:34):
I didn't know what it was andlooking back now I can see that
I needed to take the leap to getout on my own, start making
some difficult decisions on myown and ultimately try and make
a life for myself that wasn'trelying on other people, and so
the first thing that I want totalk about with my own code was
courage.
There was a lot of courage thatneeded to go into place in
(03:57):
order to make this happen, andsome people might have you know,
they might hear this and belike you were scared to move up
to Utah to go out on your own,when, like, that's what everyone
does yes, I was, and it'sprobably because I was going to
be 11 hours away from my supportsystem the people that I loved.
(04:19):
I lived on my own a few times incollege was one, when I served
a mission for my church wasanother time, and I knew how
difficult it was, and that wassomething that I needed to
confront.
On top of that, I was startinga new job at a company that I
didn't know too much about atthe time.
The position itself was alittle.
I was questioning whether ornot I'd even be able to do it,
(04:40):
because I was coming frommarketing and I was getting into
sales, and also, on top of that, I was overcoming my sickness,
which I've talked about on thispodcast, but I was just getting
over that and I was just gettingbetter.
I was starting to get mytreatments.
And so I had this internalthought, that this internal
discussion with myself, where Irealized that I had two options
(05:04):
One was to stay safe and theother is take a bet on myself.
And I chose the gamble.
I rolled the dice, I went withit because I knew that something
good would come from it.
If anything, I would know thatthat was not the right decision
for me to take.
So I packed up my car.
I hugged my my dad.
My mom helped me move.
I packed up my car.
(05:25):
I hugged my dad.
My mom helped me move into mynew apartment.
I drove up north with nothingbut my intuition and what I had
with me.
I want you to think back to amoment where safety fought risk.
For you, what took the scale?
What made you take that point?
Because that's the start.
(05:47):
Your code begins where yourcomfort ends, and courage isn't
the absence of fear.
It's instead the decision thatgrowth is worth the tremble.
That's what it's all about.
Chris Williamson says that ifyou are scared but choose to be
brave instead, that is courage,like that's exactly what that is
(06:08):
.
And it might be so easy for youto just dismiss that and be
like ah well, I'm not acourageous person.
Well, do something today thatcan.
And this whole episode is goingto have actionable steps because
, like I mentioned, I want togive you the prompts and the
outlines to where you can createyour own code that you live by.
So step number one is write oneparagraph or origin story of
(06:31):
the last time you voluntarilywalked into uncertainty,
identify the value that pulledyou forward, circle it, and that
is the cornerstone of yourevolving code.
So what is the principle, whatis the value that pushed past
all your negative thoughts, thatthrew doubt out the window, and
(06:51):
you still led and followed inthat values footsteps.
Circle that.
That's the beginning of yourcode.
Another very important piece ofthis for myself is choosing to
uplift others, and it soundscliche, but there's a lot behind
that.
Like every interaction that Itry and have with someone
(07:12):
whether it's the person that'schecking me out at the
supermarket, or my wife, or somerandom guy at work that I'm
talking to on a sales callthat's super pissed off, but I
want to see if I can make himsmile.
That's my goal is to make oneperson smile in every
interaction, because I don'tknow, I mean, I think the world
is full of so much negativitythat it's it's an easy thing to
(07:35):
overlook.
Like trying to make someonesmile Sounds creepy, sometimes,
like I don't know, but I don'tknow.
In a world of negativity, Ithink it goes a long way.
And the Stokes remind us that wecan't control, you know, the
economy, the weather, what goeson in social media, but we can
control the atmosphere that wecarry and our responses, like
(07:56):
Marcus Aurelius called it, beingthe bright torch in the dark,
and I think there's something tothat.
You don't want to go throughoutyour day and blend into the
crowd.
You want to be someone who isrecognized when they walk in a
room because that person makesthem smile.
And I'm not saying I do thatfor people, but I try.
(08:17):
I try and make them happy, Itry and cheer up their day or,
if they're having a hard one,try and listen to them, hear
them out out and see if I canhelp at all.
And I think it's a good timefor you to pause and think
when's the last time that youintentionally brighten someone's
day?
Because that's a, that's a easything to do, but we don't do it
(08:39):
a lot and um, lot and um.
The point I'm trying to get athere is you have to draft, you
have to think of a one linething that you want every time
that you interact with someone.
Mine is I leave every roomlighter than I found it.
That's what I try and do.
I try and brighten the day.
(09:00):
Like for you it could besomething completely different,
like maybe you want to makesomeone, um, trust you more with
every interaction, or you wantto be someone who people can
rely on for, uh, if they haveissues in their life, I don't
know, but you want to be someonewho's easily talk, talk to and
is an open book.
Maybe that's something that youhave, but I think it's
(09:22):
important for you to figure outfor yourself how do I want to
portray myself in socialinteractions?
How do I want people to see meand then reflect that Be the
person that you would like tomeet in public.
But understand what that is andwrite it down, and that's
another piece to the puzzle thatyou're going to be solving
(09:42):
today.
So make it unavoidable.
So, if that means you writedown whatever that little one
liner is, like I said, mine isleave every room lighter than I
found it.
You write that down, you postit on your, your mirror.
So every day you leave beforework or you go about your day,
you always see it and it's it'sviewable.
Keep it top of mind.
Now, this is an important onefor me.
(10:04):
This next topic is discipline,but not necessarily like
discipline in all aspects ofyour life.
I mean discipline at dawn,discipline when the alarm goes
off and I need to go work out.
That is a non-negotiable for me.
My body, politely, will file acomplaint and say, hey, you know
, you know what?
Maybe today's not the day youshould really rest up, and
(10:27):
that's a nice thing for my bodyto say.
But you know, my bed is warm,my muscles ache and again those
whispers come in.
Skip, today You've earned it,you've been working hard.
That's the cue for me.
To lace up and move and getgoing Like daily exercise is my
(10:47):
first win of the day and itproves to myself that I have
discipline to push past comfortand to see not instant
gratification but delayedgratification, because the
results that I get in the gymdon't happen day to day.
It happens month to month andyear to year, and so I always
(11:08):
think about when I wake up.
There's always two thoughtsthat go through my mind.
It's one you will regret notworking out.
And two exercise yourdiscipline.
It's one you will regret notworking out.
And two exercise yourdiscipline.
It's those two things, andwhenever I have that happen, I
recognize that you know what.
I just need to get up and startmoving my body.
Going upstairs, mixing myCeltic salt with my pre-workout,
(11:30):
mixing it up, hitting that backand let's go.
It's time to get after it,because who am I to tell you to
do that If I don't do it myself?
I hold myself to a very highstandard, and that's the point
of this code is it's it'ssupposed to give you an outline
of how you want to live yourlife, and for me, I want to live
a life that's full ofdiscipline, because I've seen
(11:51):
the results that come from beingdisciplined, and a lack of
discipline, in my opinion, isugly.
If you can't control yourself,you can't control your impulses
or anything like that.
You might need to take a lookinside and say why is this
happening?
How come?
I can't control my responses tothings, but discipline has been
a way for me to do that and toexercise that, and that's why
(12:12):
it's always.
The first, non-negotiable of myday is exercising discipline,
and that's why it's?
It's always the firstnon-negotiable of my day is
exercising discipline, and thatusually takes the form of a
workout, but it's waking upearly and getting it done, like
of course, things happen in life.
Like, like I mentioned in thebeginning of this, I've been
sick for a couple of days and soI haven't worked like I worked
out today, but a couple of pastdays I needed a rest and so
(12:35):
obviously my body's not going tosay, hey, you're not being
disciplined, you need to get upand move.
When I'm throwing up, um,lightheaded, like I can't move
Right, that's stupid, I'm notgoing to go do that.
But it is important tounderstand where you can
exercise discipline and go anddo it.
So I wouldn't say that is akeystone for me, that is a habit
, something that I need to doevery day to prove to myself
(12:57):
that I can conquer whatevercomes my way.
So for you, it could besomething like a workout as well
, it could be journaling, itcould be 10 pages of reading,
but whatever it is, commit to aseven-day streak and I want you
to track it, get that data soyou can look at it and feel the
momentum compound that sevendays could turn into 14, which
(13:20):
could turn into 28, which canturn into a few months.
Right, that's how it works.
But you need to start and youneed to commit, and that's why I
say it's a non-negotiable forme, because every night, when I
set my alarms manually I don'thave it on like an automatic
alarm I set them up manually andI tell myself, okay, tomorrow
we're getting up and we're goingto go work out, no matter how
tired I am when I go to bed, nomatter how tired I am when I
(13:43):
wake up, when my body is soreand it's yelling at me not to do
it, I do it, and sometimes it'snot as great as it should be.
Sometimes my workouts are 60%of what they could be 40% even
but I'm still showing up andthat's the importance of getting
after it.
So figure out what thatkeystone habit is for you and
(14:03):
commit to a seven-day streak.
You will see yourself open updoors that you didn't think was
possible and I promise you thatthat will happen.
It's happened to me.
How many times have I told youon this podcast that I'm?
I used to be some kid who was,you know, lackadaisical in his,
in his day to day.
He didn't really care aboutwhat his grades were in school.
(14:24):
He got good grades but didn'treally care for studying.
He was only a nerd with thingsthat he enjoyed, right, and he
would eat a bunch of crap.
I refer to him as fat Brett,but fat Brett has been killed by
discipline and he lurks inthere Like I think I told this
story before, but I've eaten a64 pack of Costco granola bars
(14:48):
in two days.
That's 32 bars a day.
That's 3,200 calories a day.
That's a lot, um, notrecommended, but I did it.
I did it and he's still inthere, and so that's why I have
to exercise discipline everysingle day to keep myself in
check, because if I don't, Iturn into a monster.
On top of that, this is the nextthing that plays into it a
(15:09):
little bit is extreme ownership,because failure calls everyone
sooner or later, and when itcalls me, I channel my inner
Jocko and I take extremeownership, no matter how painful
that might be and it's painfulsometimes Owning up to your
mistakes, owning up to thingsthat you may have said or things
(15:31):
you may have done Extremeownership is important or things
you may not have done, like ifyou're not hitting your workouts
, if you're not sitting down andjournaling, like you said you
would, for seven days, andyou're not doing those things.
You need to take extremeownership of your life and you
need to realize that no one'sgoing to give these results to
you except for you.
That's the power of extremeownership, for example, like if
(15:54):
I missed a deadline.
That's the power of extremeownership, for example, like if
I missed a deadline.
That's on me.
If I lost my temper, me again.
All these little things arebecause of my own actions and
you have to take ownership ofthem.
It's going to do two things foryou.
One, it's going to help yourrelationship with yourself.
You're no longer going to belying to yourself.
That will no longer be anoption.
And then, two, it's going tohelp others see that in you and
(16:15):
trust you more and say hey, youknow what Brett is?
Someone who, when he makes amistake, he owns up to it and I
I trust him with this projectand that might get you a
promotion at work.
It might not, or it's.
You know your wife who says youknow what Brett he?
He takes accountability for hisactions.
I know he's telling me thetruth Like that's important.
Your word is everything.
(16:36):
And it's crazy because my wifeand I always talk about this how
, like back in the olden days,someone would give their word
and that was their bond, andthey would do everything that
they could in their power tokeep their word.
And we've lost that.
It's, it's we're.
We live in a world where thatdoesn't matter.
(16:58):
Your word means really nothingnow, which is sad, because I
still believe that your word iseverything.
That was taught to me from mydad, and he made it very clear
that when you say you're goingto do something, you own up and
you get it done.
If you tell someone that you'regoing to be there at their
house at 8 am to help them move,you should show up at 8 am and
(17:20):
help them move and bring donutswhile you're at it.
Like, own up to what you sayyou're going to do.
That will get you so muchfarther in life than deciding
that you know.
Ah, I let it slip this time.
Whatever, no, learn from yourmistakes.
That's what extreme ownershipis.
(17:41):
And sometimes, like this mightsound super weird, but I'll talk
to myself in the third person.
It's like Brett giving a Tedtalk to myself and I'll say
things like hey, brett, come on,own up.
Or hey, adjust your strategy,but let's keep going, or you may
have slipped up yesterday, youmay have missed your workout,
but you're not missing it today.
(18:02):
And sometimes I'll have to talkto myself that way and it
sounds weird and it sounds likeI might be crazy and I might be,
but that's how I do it andthat's what works for me and
hopefully you can figureyourself or find something for
yourself that works for you too.
But I would say to you what'sone time that you can recall a
(18:24):
mistake that you made?
And did you assign blame tosomeone else or did you accept
that accountability?
Think about that and to go ontop of that I want you to think
about.
This is the exercise for you.
I want you to write a failuredebrief Like what happened, what
(18:46):
did I control, what will Ichange next time, and use it
within 24 hours the next timeyou stumble.
So write those three thingsdown what happened, what did I
control and what will I changenext time?
Progress can only be measuredif it's there, right, if you can
see it, if you can write itdown.
The only way that you can learnfrom your mistakes is to learn
(19:07):
from them and write them downand see them.
It might sound like it's overthe top, but I promise you
that's how you find areas ofyour life that you can improve,
that you can get better at, andit's one step at a time, but it
takes reflection and andconstant um constant self-work.
(19:28):
It is not easy.
Like getting after it is notanything that.
It's not a lifestyle that Irecommend to people who are not
in it for the long haul.
If they're looking for ashort-term fix.
This is not the podcast for you, because getting after it is a
lifelong endeavor and this wholepodcast is a great example of
(19:52):
that, because, if you listen tomy earlier episodes, I had no
idea what the hell I was talkingabout, but I stayed in it and I
focused on learning and gettingbetter in certain areas of my
life, like fitness,relationships, speaking and my
own professional career.
All these things that I hyperfixate on and my faith.
Don't forget about that.
(20:12):
Sorry, I overlooked that one,but all these things that I
hyper fixate on are all things Iwant to get better at, and the
only way to get better at themis to take steps every single
day to improve where you're at.
So think about that Now.
This is where I think you canlearn a lot from other people.
You can learn a lot fromhistorical figures, people who
(20:34):
are currently alive, evenfictional people, and I'll give
you my list of examples here ina second.
But I often think of people whoI admire and I don't get jealous
of them.
Instead, I look at them and say, hey, you know what?
Nick Bear is a great athlete.
What is he doing that I can doand incorporate into my own
training, because I want to belike that.
It's not like, hey, nick bear'sa great athlete, I can never be
(20:57):
like him.
No, the fact that he did itshows that I could be like him.
But you know, I think it'simportant to look at other
people for inspiration.
That's why people say you know,find a mentor or find someone
who's done it before you and askthem how they did it.
And I would say I have a MountRushmore of influence, meaning
that there's people who I lookup to that I admire for many of
(21:21):
their traits, the first beingJesus Christ.
For many, many reasons.
One he was an example ofradical love.
He loved everyone he came incontact with and he was trying
to find a way to serve thatperson, to make their life a
little easier.
He taught leadership what it'slike to be a leader, how to
(21:46):
listen to everyone's needswithin the group and adhere to
them.
And personally he would go andsit down with people, talk to
them.
And another thing I reallyadmire about Christ is his
detachment from materialism,which you know can go a long way
nowadays.
When you pull away from thewant of worldly things, it's
(22:11):
amazing to see how much you have, and it's a practice of
gratitude.
But Jesus Christ was theexemplar of this and there's so
many other traits that he hasthat I wish I had.
His humility, his um dedicationto building up the kingdom of
God Everything about JesusChrist is something that I try
(22:32):
to emulate and as a member ofthe church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints, I try my bestto emulate his teachings.
The others are the Stoics.
I love what they teach aboutmastering your own response also
something that Jesus taught andremembering your mortality.
They're the ones that kind ofgot memento mori up and running,
(22:54):
popularized that thought, andfrom that it's like you know
what?
We don't all have infinite timeon this earth.
We should be maximizing ourtime on this earth by helping
other people, by spending timewith the people that we love by
doing things that actually makeus happy and fulfilled.
That's what the Stokes taughtthat actually make us happy and
(23:16):
fulfilled.
That's what the Stokes taught.
Then there's people likeMichael Jordan, cameron Haynes,
joe Rogan, david Goggins allthese elite people, athletes,
podcasters, whatever but theyteach me how to like, they teach
me that the reps are whatmatters, and they were
(23:36):
relentless at that.
In consistency, it beats talent.
David Goggins is a greatexample of that how he went from
a 315 pound man to a Navy SEAL,to an ultra marathon runner,
and now he's just.
He's built this mindset ofbeing unbreakable, and that's
(23:56):
something we can all use in ourlives being a little bit more
unbreakable each day.
Now the last one, because I saidyou can also include a
fictional character.
Right, because some fictionalcharacters they have good stuff.
My wife's going to make fun ofme for this.
Doro from Red Rising.
That guy's the man.
(24:16):
That's such a good book series.
If you haven't read it, go readit.
It's damn good.
But, doro, he proved I'm sorry,allie, doro proved that you can
smash ceilings so everyone canrise with you.
In that, you know what Hardwork pays off.
You know what.
(24:36):
In that you know what Hard workpays off.
You know what.
I don't really look at Dara asa Mount Rushmore of influence.
I just love his story so much,just wanted to throw that in
there.
But Dara's the man Anyways.
But these voices, these peoplein my head that I look up to,
they kind of form a round table,jesus at the head, and when I
(24:57):
have a dilemma, I imaginesometimes pitching it to them.
If I have an issue, what wouldJesus say about it?
Like, and it's interesting,it's an interesting exercise to
go through.
It's like you're having aconversation, and I do this
pretty frequently.
This is going to be.
This will be a little what's itcalled?
(25:19):
What's the word I'm looking for?
It's going to be a littlepersonal.
Now I have talks with Jesus allthe time and sometimes I'll come
to him with a problem and saylike I'll pretend I'm sitting on
a log with him in the woods orsomething, and I'll say you know
what, jesus, I'm having a hardtime.
This is the dilemma that I'mrunning into.
(25:40):
What would you do?
And then I just try and listenand I pretend that Jesus is
talking to me.
Call me crazy, it's.
What I do is talking to me.
Call me crazy, it's what I do,but it helps me, and it helps me
focus, helps me get back ontrack and realize that I'm not
so far down the road as I shouldbe.
You know, it's just likereassuring.
(26:04):
But these people that I look upto are all people who I admire
certain traits of and who havehelped me build my own code, and
so I want you to think back ofpeople that you admire, and
these are all famous people.
I also did not mention my wife,my parents, my brothers all
(26:26):
people who I truly admire formany different reasons.
But I'm just trying to givepaint a picture for you of like
how you can look to others forinspiration, for guidance or
just getting started on your own, getting after a journey.
I want you to create a heroscoreboard and assign each
virtue to a person living ordead, doesn't matter and note
(26:47):
one practice from each hero thatyou will mimic in the coming
days.
Try it, just try it.
Now.
This is another very importantone you need to have boundaries
and you need to have priorities,like my.
Number.
One non-negotiable in life ismy loyalty to Allie.
If you're a lady out there andyou think I'm cute, go pound
(27:12):
sand, screw you, not talking toyou ever and my wife will kill
you.
But my loyalty to my wife isvery important to me.
I made a commitment to her whenwe decided to get married that
she is the only person that Iwill love.
She is the only person thatgets my attention.
She's the only person that cancall me when she has an issue
(27:32):
and I will be there to answer itand I know it goes both ways,
but that is something that I am.
That is a boundary I will nevercross is loyalty to my wife.
I will remain faithful to heruntil the day I die, and that's
(27:52):
very important to me, that sheknows that and that everyone
else knows it too.
This ring on my finger itdoesn't just symbolize that I'm
married.
It means that I am committedand in an eternal relationship
with my wife.
So that's non-negotiable Numberone.
Number two is nothing in my lifewill be illegal or immoral.
I've seen those roads beforeand I've seen the paths that
(28:14):
they lead to and it's nowherethat I want to end up.
And so getting rid of ofanything in my life that might
be immoral, just not evengetting rid of uh, avoiding,
completely avoiding those things, because I heard um, oh, man, I
.
I want to find this quotereally quickly because this was,
(28:36):
this was a good one.
Um, it's from Chris Williamson,but I don't think I'm going to
find it in time.
He talked about how temptationis always the easiest when it's
avoided, is always the easiestwhen it's avoided If you're not
in a place to be tempted, thenyou don't have to even think
about making that decision.
And so have some boundaries.
(28:58):
Don't do anything immoral,don't do anything illegal.
Stay true to the people thatyou say you're going to be true
to.
And you can have othernon-negotiables as well.
Like you're going to work outas much as you can, and that
could be six days a week, itcould be four days a week, three
days a week, it doesn't matter,but make sure that you're doing
what you can to work out, moveyour body.
That might be a non-negotiablefor you, but, like I said, I'm
(29:22):
loyal to my wife to the day Idie and beyond, and I will never
do anything immoral or illegal.
That never leads to good roads.
I've seen it before and it'shorrible what happens.
It's really sad, actually,because a lot of the times that
people get into activities likethat, it's because they're
hurting and it's because theydidn't stay true to their morals
(29:44):
, or maybe they didn't even havemorals or values or code that
they live by.
That's why it's important tohave something like this.
It gives you direction, ithelps guide your path and it
creates a filter for you whenyou're making decisions.
Like you can ask yourself whatis the most pressing thing right
now?
And, for example, if the houseis on fire, you're probably not
(30:07):
going to vacuum, right?
You focus faster on getting thefire taken care of instead of
vacuuming the house.
There might be dust everywhere,but your house is burning down.
Take care of that first.
What are your non-negotiables?
And I want you to designsomewhat of a commitment
contract in a sense, but writeone sentence defining a moral
(30:28):
line in one sentence definingyour priority filter, sign it,
date it and stay true to it.
Like, like I said, it ispowerful having boundaries like
that.
It is powerful and it tells youautomatically whenever you're
presenting with an opportunityto do something stupid, you're
like Nope, not crossing thatline.
(30:48):
Whenever you're presenting withan opportunity to do something
stupid, you're like nope, notcrossing that line.
See ya, it's easy.
It's an easy thing to do, butthe important thing is you have
to stay true to it.
Now, at the end of the day, I Ithink about what I want my
legacy to be and if I live mycode, if I live whatever you
(31:11):
want to call it to its nthdegree.
Hopefully I see results fromthat that I wanted to in the
first place, right, and Ithought about what I wanted
people to say about me when Idied.
This is kind of silly, but Iwas thinking about, like, what
would it mean to me?
What do I want people to saywhen I die, about me?
(31:33):
And it comes down to 13 wordshe worked hard, was a man of his
word and he was full of love.
That's it.
That's how I want to beremembered, not some.
He was the getting after itpodcast host.
He was an ultra marathoner, heI don't care about that stuff.
(31:53):
What matters to me is that Iworked hard, I was a man of my
word and that I loved as much asI could.
I love my wife, my family, myfriends, people around me.
I want people to know that Iemulate love, as weird as that
sounds, but that's what JesusChrist did and I'm trying to
live my life like him, so that'swhat I would say and my guiding
(32:16):
star for that has been what'son my neck here.
It's the credit goes to the manin the arena.
It's that quote from TeddyRoosevelt.
I've said it before on thepodcast, but if you want more
detail on it, go look it up.
But basically that quote meansto me that the credit goes to
the man who tries.
The credit goes to the man who,even if he experiences failure,
(32:37):
he failed, daring, greatly,taking a chance on himself,
taking a bet on himself.
That's why, when I decided tomove up to Utah, I was the man
in the arena and I wasrecognizing that.
You know, if I fail, I'm goingto fail, daring greatly, doing
something that I was afraid todo in the first place.
(32:59):
A close second to that would bediscipline equals freedom,
because discipline is somethingthat you cannot escape.
You either embrace it or yousuffer the consequences of
avoiding.
It cannot escape.
You either embrace it or yousuffer the consequences of
avoiding it, and I don't want todo that.
I do not want to suffer theconsequences of avoiding
discipline, because I've seentoo many times the benefit of
pushing myself, of putting awaythe instant gratification and
(33:21):
relying more on that sustained,slow progress that is painful
but leads to greater reward.
It's long-term, it'slong-lasting and a motto might
sound cheesy, but in myexperience it distills
complexity into action and it'sthe line you quote when you're
(33:44):
gasping at mile 20 or you'restaring down some risky pitch
deck, you're about to go into asales meeting with.
You remember the motto and youremember why you're doing it in
the first place.
For me, I want to go down asthe man who tried.
If I fail this podcast, youknow what I tried.
(34:07):
If I fail my job, I gave it myall.
If I DNF a race, I must've beenhurting pretty bad, but I tried
.
And so that's the point.
These mottos aren't meant to behung up on your wall.
They're meant to be written onyour heart so when things go
wrong, you can remember them andyou can think about it.
(34:28):
So when things go wrong, youcan remember them and you can
think about it.
Think of what your motto is andprint your motto out, place a
copy when you wake up, so it'sright by your bed, or one on
your phone, on your desk at work, just wherever you can see it
every single day.
That's why I wear it on mychest, on my necklace, so I can
(34:50):
remember every time I put thisnecklace on, I'm committing to
be the man in the arena, and youshould do the same thing.
We started today by talkingabout how courage was the first
thing that got me started on mypath.
I had to take a step, I had totake a chance on myself on my
(35:11):
path.
I had to take a step, I had totake a chance on myself, and
that's where the pillars came ofbeing courageous, being
uplifting, being disciplined,taking extreme ownership, being
virtuous, setting boundaries andliving a motto.
Those are important things tome, and your code may look very
different.
(35:31):
In fact, I hope that it looksdifferent because it should be
personal to everybody.
Remember, a personal code isn'tsome wallpaper, it's armor.
It blends and it evolves overtime.
It collects scars.
It evolves over time, itcollects scars, but it never
(35:56):
breaks If the, if the foundationis true.
That's why I'm I'm reiteratingit needs to be personal to you.
So block out one hour this week, commit to one hour for
yourself, revisit today'sreflection and I'll put some
questions in the show notes youcan ask yourself to help you
develop your own personal code.
But draft your first response,your first draft.
(36:18):
Do it Now.
Next week, we travel back toJapan and unpack Bushido, which
is something I'm pumped on.
That is the samurai code Honor,duty and loyalty.
How can a 700-year-old warriorethos upgrade your Monday
(36:40):
morning meeting?
Well, tune in to find out,because that's what we're going
to be talking about next week.
And until that point, everybody, I appreciate you for listening
.
Thank you for spending timewith me today.
Got a little personal today,but I think it's important for
you guys to know where I comefrom and where my thinking is.
If this helped at all, leave areview, leave a comment.
(37:04):
Share it with someone thatmight need it.
Until that point, stay humblesomeone that might need it.
Until that point, stay humble,stay disciplined and remember
the arena is waiting for you toenter.
Keep getting after my friends.
Hey friends, welcome back to the Getting After it podcast
.
This is the very firstinstallment of my new series
that I'm going to be talkingabout, which is our code series,
and we're going to be studyingover the next few months famous
codes like the samurai, bushido,medieval chivalry, and we're
going to even dive into somepirates because, believe it or
not, they had a code they livedby as well.
(00:22):
But before we get to that point, I'm going to talk about my own
code, what I live by, what thatmeans and how it helps me get
after it.
So, without further ado, let'sget into it, baby.
All right, a little update.
(00:42):
It's been a long week, it's beena little hard.
I've been a long week, it'sbeen a little hard, I've been
traveling a lot, I've been sick,but hey, we're back at it,
we're getting after it.
That's the whole point of thismindset is that when things
happen, you pivot and you makedo with what you have.
So thanks for being patient asI work on getting some of these
episodes created and uploaded.
But we're back to it and, justas I mentioned in the intro,
(01:06):
this is going to be the firstinstallment of our code series,
because I think there's a lotthat we can learn from with
other people's codes of conductthat they have their own
personal codes that they live by, and pretty much the values and
the virtues that peopleimplement into their lives to
make them who they are and tohelp them guided and like
(01:27):
decision making and that kind ofthing too.
So it is important to have acode, and I'm putting my own
personal code on the table todaybecause I'm going to be peeling
back the layers of my ownbeliefs and help me drive myself
and leave things behind likecomfort, learn how to sweat
(01:47):
daily and own my mistakes, keepmy promises, especially the
people I love the most, and bythe end of this episode, you'll
not only know my own code, buthopefully you'll have the exact
prompts and exercises to buildyour own.
That's ultimately what this isfor.
Prompts and exercises to buildyour own.
That's ultimately what this isfor.
(02:07):
So grab a notebook or put onyour favorite shoes and go for a
run, if that's what you like todo with podcasts.
Settle down with your favoritedrink.
I'll bring mine out.
Got a little bit of Barks rootbeer here, zero sugar.
Don't be crazy as I spill onmyself.
Great way to start an episode,okay.
Anyways, I have been thinkingabout like what principles I
(02:32):
live by that I would deem as myown code.
It's pretty simple, but I wantto first talk about why this
came up and what got me startedthinking about this.
And about three years ago I tooka leap for myself, and it was a
leap of courage.
I decided to leave my house inArizona and move up to Utah,
(02:52):
which none of my immediatefamily lived there.
It was only close relatives,aunts and uncles, a couple of
cousins that live in Utah, and Iwas very comfortable where I
was at.
I was living with my parents,rent free and still working a
full-time job.
The fridge would magically getrefilled because my mom was
(03:13):
always taking care of it.
All my close loved ones were bymy brothers.
I would say they're my bestfriends.
They were right next to me,they were my support system at
the time.
But there was something thatneeded to change in my life.
I noticed it, I recognized it.
(03:34):
I didn't know what it was andlooking back now I can see that
I needed to take the leap to getout on my own, start making
some difficult decisions on myown and ultimately try and make
a life for myself that wasn'trelying on other people, and so
the first thing that I want totalk about with my own code was
courage.
There was a lot of courage thatneeded to go into place in
(03:57):
order to make this happen, andsome people might have you know,
they might hear this and belike you were scared to move up
to Utah to go out on your own,when, like, that's what everyone
does yes, I was, and it'sprobably because I was going to
be 11 hours away from my supportsystem the people that I loved.
(04:19):
I lived on my own a few times incollege was one, when I served
a mission for my church wasanother time, and I knew how
difficult it was, and that wassomething that I needed to
confront.
On top of that, I was startinga new job at a company that I
didn't know too much about atthe time.
The position itself was alittle.
I was questioning whether ornot I'd even be able to do it,
(04:40):
because I was coming frommarketing and I was getting into
sales, and also, on top of that, I was overcoming my sickness,
which I've talked about on thispodcast, but I was just getting
over that and I was just gettingbetter.
I was starting to get mytreatments.
And so I had this internalthought, that this internal
discussion with myself, where Irealized that I had two options
(05:04):
One was to stay safe and theother is take a bet on myself.
And I chose the gamble.
I rolled the dice, I went withit because I knew that something
good would come from it.
If anything, I would know thatthat was not the right decision
for me to take.
So I packed up my car.
I hugged my my dad.
My mom helped me move.
I packed up my car.
(05:25):
I hugged my dad.
My mom helped me move into mynew apartment.
I drove up north with nothingbut my intuition and what I had
with me.
I want you to think back to amoment where safety fought risk.
For you, what took the scale?
What made you take that point?
Because that's the start.
(05:47):
Your code begins where yourcomfort ends, and courage isn't
the absence of fear.
It's instead the decision thatgrowth is worth the tremble.
That's what it's all about.
Chris Williamson says that ifyou are scared but choose to be
brave instead, that is courage,like that's exactly what that is
(06:08):
.
And it might be so easy for youto just dismiss that and be
like ah well, I'm not acourageous person.
Well, do something today thatcan.
And this whole episode is goingto have actionable steps because
, like I mentioned, I want togive you the prompts and the
outlines to where you can createyour own code that you live by.
So step number one is write oneparagraph or origin story of
(06:31):
the last time you voluntarilywalked into uncertainty,
identify the value that pulledyou forward, circle it, and that
is the cornerstone of yourevolving code.
So what is the principle, whatis the value that pushed past
all your negative thoughts, thatthrew doubt out the window, and
(06:51):
you still led and followed inthat values footsteps.
Circle that.
That's the beginning of yourcode.
Another very important piece ofthis for myself is choosing to
uplift others, and it soundscliche, but there's a lot behind
that.
Like every interaction that Itry and have with someone
(07:12):
whether it's the person that'schecking me out at the
supermarket, or my wife, or somerandom guy at work that I'm
talking to on a sales callthat's super pissed off, but I
want to see if I can make himsmile.
That's my goal is to make oneperson smile in every
interaction, because I don'tknow, I mean, I think the world
is full of so much negativitythat it's it's an easy thing to
(07:35):
overlook.
Like trying to make someonesmile Sounds creepy, sometimes,
like I don't know, but I don'tknow.
In a world of negativity, Ithink it goes a long way.
And the Stokes remind us that wecan't control, you know, the
economy, the weather, what goeson in social media, but we can
control the atmosphere that wecarry and our responses, like
(07:56):
Marcus Aurelius called it, beingthe bright torch in the dark,
and I think there's something tothat.
You don't want to go throughoutyour day and blend into the
crowd.
You want to be someone who isrecognized when they walk in a
room because that person makesthem smile.
And I'm not saying I do thatfor people, but I try.
(08:17):
I try and make them happy, Itry and cheer up their day or,
if they're having a hard one,try and listen to them, hear
them out out and see if I canhelp at all.
And I think it's a good timefor you to pause and think
when's the last time that youintentionally brighten someone's
day?
Because that's a, that's a easything to do, but we don't do it
(08:39):
a lot and um, lot and um.
The point I'm trying to get athere is you have to draft, you
have to think of a one linething that you want every time
that you interact with someone.
Mine is I leave every roomlighter than I found it.
That's what I try and do.
I try and brighten the day.
(09:00):
Like for you it could besomething completely different,
like maybe you want to makesomeone, um, trust you more with
every interaction, or you wantto be someone who people can
rely on for, uh, if they haveissues in their life, I don't
know, but you want to be someonewho's easily talk, talk to and
is an open book.
Maybe that's something that youhave, but I think it's
(09:22):
important for you to figure outfor yourself how do I want to
portray myself in socialinteractions?
How do I want people to see meand then reflect that Be the
person that you would like tomeet in public.
But understand what that is andwrite it down, and that's
another piece to the puzzle thatyou're going to be solving
(09:42):
today.
So make it unavoidable.
So, if that means you writedown whatever that little one
liner is, like I said, mine isleave every room lighter than I
found it.
You write that down, you postit on your, your mirror.
So every day you leave beforework or you go about your day,
you always see it and it's it'sviewable.
Keep it top of mind.
Now, this is an important onefor me.
(10:04):
This next topic is discipline,but not necessarily like
discipline in all aspects ofyour life.
I mean discipline at dawn,discipline when the alarm goes
off and I need to go work out.
That is a non-negotiable for me.
My body, politely, will file acomplaint and say, hey, you know
, you know what?
Maybe today's not the day youshould really rest up, and
(10:27):
that's a nice thing for my bodyto say.
But you know, my bed is warm,my muscles ache and again those
whispers come in.
Skip, today You've earned it,you've been working hard.
That's the cue for me.
To lace up and move and getgoing Like daily exercise is my
(10:47):
first win of the day and itproves to myself that I have
discipline to push past comfortand to see not instant
gratification but delayedgratification, because the
results that I get in the gymdon't happen day to day.
It happens month to month andyear to year, and so I always
(11:08):
think about when I wake up.
There's always two thoughtsthat go through my mind.
It's one you will regret notworking out.
And two exercise yourdiscipline.
It's one you will regret notworking out.
And two exercise yourdiscipline.
It's those two things, andwhenever I have that happen, I
recognize that you know what.
I just need to get up and startmoving my body.
Going upstairs, mixing myCeltic salt with my pre-workout,
(11:30):
mixing it up, hitting that backand let's go.
It's time to get after it,because who am I to tell you to
do that If I don't do it myself?
I hold myself to a very highstandard, and that's the point
of this code is it's it'ssupposed to give you an outline
of how you want to live yourlife, and for me, I want to live
a life that's full ofdiscipline, because I've seen
(11:51):
the results that come from beingdisciplined, and a lack of
discipline, in my opinion, isugly.
If you can't control yourself,you can't control your impulses
or anything like that.
You might need to take a lookinside and say why is this
happening?
How come?
I can't control my responses tothings, but discipline has been
a way for me to do that and toexercise that, and that's why
(12:12):
it's always.
The first, non-negotiable of myday is exercising discipline,
and that's why it's?
It's always the firstnon-negotiable of my day is
exercising discipline, and thatusually takes the form of a
workout, but it's waking upearly and getting it done, like
of course, things happen in life.
Like, like I mentioned in thebeginning of this, I've been
sick for a couple of days and soI haven't worked like I worked
out today, but a couple of pastdays I needed a rest and so
(12:35):
obviously my body's not going tosay, hey, you're not being
disciplined, you need to get upand move.
When I'm throwing up, um,lightheaded, like I can't move
Right, that's stupid, I'm notgoing to go do that.
But it is important tounderstand where you can
exercise discipline and go anddo it.
So I wouldn't say that is akeystone for me, that is a habit
, something that I need to doevery day to prove to myself
(12:57):
that I can conquer whatevercomes my way.
So for you, it could besomething like a workout as well
, it could be journaling, itcould be 10 pages of reading,
but whatever it is, commit to aseven-day streak and I want you
to track it, get that data soyou can look at it and feel the
momentum compound that sevendays could turn into 14, which
(13:20):
could turn into 28, which canturn into a few months.
Right, that's how it works.
But you need to start and youneed to commit, and that's why I
say it's a non-negotiable forme, because every night, when I
set my alarms manually I don'thave it on like an automatic
alarm I set them up manually andI tell myself, okay, tomorrow
we're getting up and we're goingto go work out, no matter how
tired I am when I go to bed, nomatter how tired I am when I
(13:43):
wake up, when my body is soreand it's yelling at me not to do
it, I do it, and sometimes it'snot as great as it should be.
Sometimes my workouts are 60%of what they could be 40% even
but I'm still showing up andthat's the importance of getting
after it.
So figure out what thatkeystone habit is for you and
(14:03):
commit to a seven-day streak.
You will see yourself open updoors that you didn't think was
possible and I promise you thatthat will happen.
It's happened to me.
How many times have I told youon this podcast that I'm?
I used to be some kid who was,you know, lackadaisical in his,
in his day to day.
He didn't really care aboutwhat his grades were in school.
(14:24):
He got good grades but didn'treally care for studying.
He was only a nerd with thingsthat he enjoyed, right, and he
would eat a bunch of crap.
I refer to him as fat Brett,but fat Brett has been killed by
discipline and he lurks inthere Like I think I told this
story before, but I've eaten a64 pack of Costco granola bars
(14:48):
in two days.
That's 32 bars a day.
That's 3,200 calories a day.
That's a lot, um, notrecommended, but I did it.
I did it and he's still inthere, and so that's why I have
to exercise discipline everysingle day to keep myself in
check, because if I don't, Iturn into a monster.
On top of that, this is the nextthing that plays into it a
(15:09):
little bit is extreme ownership,because failure calls everyone
sooner or later, and when itcalls me, I channel my inner
Jocko and I take extremeownership, no matter how painful
that might be and it's painfulsometimes Owning up to your
mistakes, owning up to thingsthat you may have said or things
(15:31):
you may have done Extremeownership is important or things
you may not have done, like ifyou're not hitting your workouts
, if you're not sitting down andjournaling, like you said you
would, for seven days, andyou're not doing those things.
You need to take extremeownership of your life and you
need to realize that no one'sgoing to give these results to
you except for you.
That's the power of extremeownership, for example, like if
(15:54):
I missed a deadline.
That's the power of extremeownership, for example, like if
I missed a deadline.
That's on me.
If I lost my temper, me again.
All these little things arebecause of my own actions and
you have to take ownership ofthem.
It's going to do two things foryou.
One, it's going to help yourrelationship with yourself.
You're no longer going to belying to yourself.
That will no longer be anoption.
And then, two, it's going tohelp others see that in you and
(16:15):
trust you more and say hey, youknow what Brett is?
Someone who, when he makes amistake, he owns up to it and I
I trust him with this projectand that might get you a
promotion at work.
It might not, or it's.
You know your wife who says youknow what Brett he?
He takes accountability for hisactions.
I know he's telling me thetruth Like that's important.
Your word is everything.
(16:36):
And it's crazy because my wifeand I always talk about this how
, like back in the olden days,someone would give their word
and that was their bond, andthey would do everything that
they could in their power tokeep their word.
And we've lost that.
It's, it's we're.
We live in a world where thatdoesn't matter.
(16:58):
Your word means really nothingnow, which is sad, because I
still believe that your word iseverything.
That was taught to me from mydad, and he made it very clear
that when you say you're goingto do something, you own up and
you get it done.
If you tell someone that you'regoing to be there at their
house at 8 am to help them move,you should show up at 8 am and
(17:20):
help them move and bring donutswhile you're at it.
Like, own up to what you sayyou're going to do.
That will get you so muchfarther in life than deciding
that you know.
Ah, I let it slip this time.
Whatever, no, learn from yourmistakes.
That's what extreme ownershipis.
(17:41):
And sometimes, like this mightsound super weird, but I'll talk
to myself in the third person.
It's like Brett giving a Tedtalk to myself and I'll say
things like hey, brett, come on,own up.
Or hey, adjust your strategy,but let's keep going, or you may
have slipped up yesterday, youmay have missed your workout,
but you're not missing it today.
(18:02):
And sometimes I'll have to talkto myself that way and it
sounds weird and it sounds likeI might be crazy and I might be,
but that's how I do it andthat's what works for me and
hopefully you can figureyourself or find something for
yourself that works for you too.
But I would say to you what'sone time that you can recall a
(18:24):
mistake that you made?
And did you assign blame tosomeone else or did you accept
that accountability?
Think about that and to go ontop of that I want you to think
about.
This is the exercise for you.
I want you to write a failuredebrief Like what happened, what
(18:46):
did I control, what will Ichange next time, and use it
within 24 hours the next timeyou stumble.
So write those three thingsdown what happened, what did I
control and what will I changenext time?
Progress can only be measuredif it's there, right, if you can
see it, if you can write itdown.
The only way that you can learnfrom your mistakes is to learn
(19:07):
from them and write them downand see them.
It might sound like it's overthe top, but I promise you
that's how you find areas ofyour life that you can improve,
that you can get better at, andit's one step at a time, but it
takes reflection and andconstant um constant self-work.
(19:28):
It is not easy.
Like getting after it is notanything that.
It's not a lifestyle that Irecommend to people who are not
in it for the long haul.
If they're looking for ashort-term fix.
This is not the podcast for you, because getting after it is a
lifelong endeavor and this wholepodcast is a great example of
(19:52):
that, because, if you listen tomy earlier episodes, I had no
idea what the hell I was talkingabout, but I stayed in it and I
focused on learning and gettingbetter in certain areas of my
life, like fitness,relationships, speaking and my
own professional career.
All these things that I hyperfixate on and my faith.
Don't forget about that.
(20:12):
Sorry, I overlooked that one,but all these things that I
hyper fixate on are all things Iwant to get better at, and the
only way to get better at themis to take steps every single
day to improve where you're at.
So think about that Now.
This is where I think you canlearn a lot from other people.
You can learn a lot fromhistorical figures, people who
(20:34):
are currently alive, evenfictional people, and I'll give
you my list of examples here ina second.
But I often think of people whoI admire and I don't get jealous
of them.
Instead, I look at them and say, hey, you know what?
Nick Bear is a great athlete.
What is he doing that I can doand incorporate into my own
training, because I want to belike that.
It's not like, hey, nick bear'sa great athlete, I can never be
(20:57):
like him.
No, the fact that he did itshows that I could be like him.
But you know, I think it'simportant to look at other
people for inspiration.
That's why people say you know,find a mentor or find someone
who's done it before you and askthem how they did it.
And I would say I have a MountRushmore of influence, meaning
that there's people who I lookup to that I admire for many of
(21:21):
their traits, the first beingJesus Christ.
For many, many reasons.
One he was an example ofradical love.
He loved everyone he came incontact with and he was trying
to find a way to serve thatperson, to make their life a
little easier.
He taught leadership what it'slike to be a leader, how to
(21:46):
listen to everyone's needswithin the group and adhere to
them.
And personally he would go andsit down with people, talk to
them.
And another thing I reallyadmire about Christ is his
detachment from materialism,which you know can go a long way
nowadays.
When you pull away from thewant of worldly things, it's
(22:11):
amazing to see how much you have, and it's a practice of
gratitude.
But Jesus Christ was theexemplar of this and there's so
many other traits that he hasthat I wish I had.
His humility, his um dedicationto building up the kingdom of
God Everything about JesusChrist is something that I try
(22:32):
to emulate and as a member ofthe church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints, I try my bestto emulate his teachings.
The others are the Stoics.
I love what they teach aboutmastering your own response also
something that Jesus taught andremembering your mortality.
They're the ones that kind ofgot memento mori up and running,
(22:54):
popularized that thought, andfrom that it's like you know
what?
We don't all have infinite timeon this earth.
We should be maximizing ourtime on this earth by helping
other people, by spending timewith the people that we love by
doing things that actually makeus happy and fulfilled.
That's what the Stokes taughtthat actually make us happy and
(23:16):
fulfilled.
That's what the Stokes taught.
Then there's people likeMichael Jordan, cameron Haynes,
joe Rogan, david Goggins allthese elite people, athletes,
podcasters, whatever but theyteach me how to like, they teach
me that the reps are whatmatters, and they were
(23:36):
relentless at that.
In consistency, it beats talent.
David Goggins is a greatexample of that how he went from
a 315 pound man to a Navy SEAL,to an ultra marathon runner,
and now he's just.
He's built this mindset ofbeing unbreakable, and that's
(23:56):
something we can all use in ourlives being a little bit more
unbreakable each day.
Now the last one, because I saidyou can also include a
fictional character.
Right, because some fictionalcharacters they have good stuff.
My wife's going to make fun ofme for this.
Doro from Red Rising.
That guy's the man.
(24:16):
That's such a good book series.
If you haven't read it, go readit.
It's damn good.
But, doro, he proved I'm sorry,allie, doro proved that you can
smash ceilings so everyone canrise with you.
In that, you know what Hardwork pays off.
You know what.
(24:36):
In that you know what Hard workpays off.
You know what.
I don't really look at Dara asa Mount Rushmore of influence.
I just love his story so much,just wanted to throw that in
there.
But Dara's the man Anyways.
But these voices, these peoplein my head that I look up to,
they kind of form a round table,jesus at the head, and when I
(24:57):
have a dilemma, I imaginesometimes pitching it to them.
If I have an issue, what wouldJesus say about it?
Like, and it's interesting,it's an interesting exercise to
go through.
It's like you're having aconversation, and I do this
pretty frequently.
This is going to be.
This will be a little what's itcalled?
(25:19):
What's the word I'm looking for?
It's going to be a littlepersonal.
Now I have talks with Jesus allthe time and sometimes I'll come
to him with a problem and saylike I'll pretend I'm sitting on
a log with him in the woods orsomething, and I'll say you know
what, jesus, I'm having a hardtime.
This is the dilemma that I'mrunning into.
(25:40):
What would you do?
And then I just try and listenand I pretend that Jesus is
talking to me.
Call me crazy, it's.
What I do is talking to me.
Call me crazy, it's what I do,but it helps me, and it helps me
focus, helps me get back ontrack and realize that I'm not
so far down the road as I shouldbe.
You know, it's just likereassuring.
(26:04):
But these people that I look upto are all people who I admire
certain traits of and who havehelped me build my own code, and
so I want you to think back ofpeople that you admire, and
these are all famous people.
I also did not mention my wife,my parents, my brothers all
(26:26):
people who I truly admire formany different reasons.
But I'm just trying to givepaint a picture for you of like
how you can look to others forinspiration, for guidance or
just getting started on your own, getting after a journey.
I want you to create a heroscoreboard and assign each
virtue to a person living ordead, doesn't matter and note
(26:47):
one practice from each hero thatyou will mimic in the coming
days.
Try it, just try it.
Now.
This is another very importantone you need to have boundaries
and you need to have priorities,like my.
Number.
One non-negotiable in life ismy loyalty to Allie.
If you're a lady out there andyou think I'm cute, go pound
(27:12):
sand, screw you, not talking toyou ever and my wife will kill
you.
But my loyalty to my wife isvery important to me.
I made a commitment to her whenwe decided to get married that
she is the only person that Iwill love.
She is the only person thatgets my attention.
She's the only person that cancall me when she has an issue
(27:32):
and I will be there to answer itand I know it goes both ways,
but that is something that I am.
That is a boundary I will nevercross is loyalty to my wife.
I will remain faithful to heruntil the day I die, and that's
(27:52):
very important to me, that sheknows that and that everyone
else knows it too.
This ring on my finger itdoesn't just symbolize that I'm
married.
It means that I am committedand in an eternal relationship
with my wife.
So that's non-negotiable Numberone.
Number two is nothing in my lifewill be illegal or immoral.
I've seen those roads beforeand I've seen the paths that
(28:14):
they lead to and it's nowherethat I want to end up.
And so getting rid of ofanything in my life that might
be immoral, just not evengetting rid of uh, avoiding,
completely avoiding those things, because I heard um, oh, man, I
.
I want to find this quotereally quickly because this was,
(28:36):
this was a good one.
Um, it's from Chris Williamson,but I don't think I'm going to
find it in time.
He talked about how temptationis always the easiest when it's
avoided, is always the easiestwhen it's avoided If you're not
in a place to be tempted, thenyou don't have to even think
about making that decision.
And so have some boundaries.
(28:58):
Don't do anything immoral,don't do anything illegal.
Stay true to the people thatyou say you're going to be true
to.
And you can have othernon-negotiables as well.
Like you're going to work outas much as you can, and that
could be six days a week, itcould be four days a week, three
days a week, it doesn't matter,but make sure that you're doing
what you can to work out, moveyour body.
That might be a non-negotiablefor you, but, like I said, I'm
(29:22):
loyal to my wife to the day Idie and beyond, and I will never
do anything immoral or illegal.
That never leads to good roads.
I've seen it before and it'shorrible what happens.
It's really sad, actually,because a lot of the times that
people get into activities likethat, it's because they're
hurting and it's because theydidn't stay true to their morals
(29:44):
, or maybe they didn't even havemorals or values or code that
they live by.
That's why it's important tohave something like this.
It gives you direction, ithelps guide your path and it
creates a filter for you whenyou're making decisions.
Like you can ask yourself whatis the most pressing thing right
now?
And, for example, if the houseis on fire, you're probably not
(30:07):
going to vacuum, right?
You focus faster on getting thefire taken care of instead of
vacuuming the house.
There might be dust everywhere,but your house is burning down.
Take care of that first.
What are your non-negotiables?
And I want you to designsomewhat of a commitment
contract in a sense, but writeone sentence defining a moral
(30:28):
line in one sentence definingyour priority filter, sign it,
date it and stay true to it.
Like, like I said, it ispowerful having boundaries like
that.
It is powerful and it tells youautomatically whenever you're
presenting with an opportunityto do something stupid, you're
like Nope, not crossing thatline.
(30:48):
Whenever you're presenting withan opportunity to do something
stupid, you're like nope, notcrossing that line.
See ya, it's easy.
It's an easy thing to do, butthe important thing is you have
to stay true to it.
Now, at the end of the day, I Ithink about what I want my
legacy to be and if I live mycode, if I live whatever you
(31:11):
want to call it to its nthdegree.
Hopefully I see results fromthat that I wanted to in the
first place, right, and Ithought about what I wanted
people to say about me when Idied.
This is kind of silly, but Iwas thinking about, like, what
would it mean to me?
What do I want people to saywhen I die, about me?
(31:33):
And it comes down to 13 wordshe worked hard, was a man of his
word and he was full of love.
That's it.
That's how I want to beremembered, not some.
He was the getting after itpodcast host.
He was an ultra marathoner, heI don't care about that stuff.
(31:53):
What matters to me is that Iworked hard, I was a man of my
word and that I loved as much asI could.
I love my wife, my family, myfriends, people around me.
I want people to know that Iemulate love, as weird as that
sounds, but that's what JesusChrist did and I'm trying to
live my life like him, so that'swhat I would say and my guiding
(32:16):
star for that has been what'son my neck here.
It's the credit goes to the manin the arena.
It's that quote from TeddyRoosevelt.
I've said it before on thepodcast, but if you want more
detail on it, go look it up.
But basically that quote meansto me that the credit goes to
the man who tries.
The credit goes to the man who,even if he experiences failure,
(32:37):
he failed, daring, greatly,taking a chance on himself,
taking a bet on himself.
That's why, when I decided tomove up to Utah, I was the man
in the arena and I wasrecognizing that.
You know, if I fail, I'm goingto fail, daring greatly, doing
something that I was afraid todo in the first place.
(32:59):
A close second to that would bediscipline equals freedom,
because discipline is somethingthat you cannot escape.
You either embrace it or yousuffer the consequences of
avoiding.
It cannot escape.
You either embrace it or yousuffer the consequences of
avoiding it, and I don't want todo that.
I do not want to suffer theconsequences of avoiding
discipline, because I've seentoo many times the benefit of
pushing myself, of putting awaythe instant gratification and
(33:21):
relying more on that sustained,slow progress that is painful
but leads to greater reward.
It's long-term, it'slong-lasting and a motto might
sound cheesy, but in myexperience it distills
complexity into action and it'sthe line you quote when you're
(33:44):
gasping at mile 20 or you'restaring down some risky pitch
deck, you're about to go into asales meeting with.
You remember the motto and youremember why you're doing it in
the first place.
For me, I want to go down asthe man who tried.
If I fail this podcast, youknow what I tried.
(34:07):
If I fail my job, I gave it myall.
If I DNF a race, I must've beenhurting pretty bad, but I tried
.
And so that's the point.
These mottos aren't meant to behung up on your wall.
They're meant to be written onyour heart so when things go
wrong, you can remember them andyou can think about it.
(34:28):
So when things go wrong, youcan remember them and you can
think about it.
Think of what your motto is andprint your motto out, place a
copy when you wake up, so it'sright by your bed, or one on
your phone, on your desk at work, just wherever you can see it
every single day.
That's why I wear it on mychest, on my necklace, so I can
(34:50):
remember every time I put thisnecklace on, I'm committing to
be the man in the arena, and youshould do the same thing.
We started today by talkingabout how courage was the first
thing that got me started on mypath.
I had to take a step, I had totake a chance on myself on my
(35:11):
path.
I had to take a step, I had totake a chance on myself, and
that's where the pillars came ofbeing courageous, being
uplifting, being disciplined,taking extreme ownership, being
virtuous, setting boundaries andliving a motto.
Those are important things tome, and your code may look very
different.
(35:31):
In fact, I hope that it looksdifferent because it should be
personal to everybody.
Remember, a personal code isn'tsome wallpaper, it's armor.
It blends and it evolves overtime.
It collects scars.
It evolves over time, itcollects scars, but it never
(35:56):
breaks If the, if the foundationis true.
That's why I'm I'm reiteratingit needs to be personal to you.
So block out one hour this week, commit to one hour for
yourself, revisit today'sreflection and I'll put some
questions in the show notes youcan ask yourself to help you
develop your own personal code.
But draft your first response,your first draft.
(36:18):
Do it Now.
Next week, we travel back toJapan and unpack Bushido, which
is something I'm pumped on.
That is the samurai code Honor,duty and loyalty.
How can a 700-year-old warriorethos upgrade your Monday
(36:40):
morning meeting?
Well, tune in to find out,because that's what we're going
to be talking about next week.
And until that point, everybody, I appreciate you for listening
.
Thank you for spending timewith me today.
Got a little personal today,but I think it's important for
you guys to know where I comefrom and where my thinking is.
If this helped at all, leave areview, leave a comment.
(37:04):
Share it with someone thatmight need it.
Until that point, stay humblesomeone that might need it.
Until that point, stay humble,stay disciplined and remember
the arena is waiting for you toenter.
Keep getting after my friends.
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