September 2, 2025 • 35 mins
We’ve been taught to believe that discipline means never missing a step, never falling short, never giving ourselves an inch of slack. But the truth is—grace is what makes discipline last.
In this episode, I explore why being graceful with yourself isn’t weakness, but strength. Drawing on stories from my own ultra marathon training, lessons from the Stoics, and insights from modern thinkers, I’ll show you how grace allows you to stay consistent when perfection would have broken you.
We’ll look at why patience fuels progress, how reframing your perspective can turn setbacks into stepping stones, and the practical steps you can use to build structure around your goals. Whether you’re training for a race, building a business, or chasing personal growth, the path forward is the same: discipline made sustainable through grace.
Three Takeaways:
- Grace doesn’t weaken discipline—it strengthens it by making consistency sustainable.
- Progress isn’t always measured by numbers; sometimes the win is simply showing up.
- Structure, patience, and small daily steps compound into lasting results.
Keep getting after it.
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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.
Getting After It is for those who. want to silence their self-doubt. Refuse to be owned by comfort. Understand their limits are man-made and breakable. We live in a time of constant comparison. Social media drowns us in highlight reels and overnight success stories. But what most people don’t see is the grit behind it all. The reps. The quiet mornings. The sacrifices. The failures.
You are just getting started. Keep Getting After It.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome back to the getting after a podcast.
Everybody excited to have youhere today.
As always, I appreciate you fortuning in and listening with
your friend Brett.
It's another quick hitter today.
I'm trying to boil down thelessons that I want to talk
about on my own in a very shortway, just so it's easily
understood and it's not too long.
You know we don't want to sitthrough lectures and I don't
(00:21):
want this podcast to turn into alecture.
So, trying to give more easy,easy, actionable items that you
can take and apply to your life,hopefully improving it,
improving your situation,helping you get after a little
bit better, getting you one stepcloser to your goals, that's
the goal.
So the thing that we're goingto talk about today Ooh, before,
(00:42):
actually before we do that, Iwant to introduce you to the
first Getting After it merchthat will be live here shortly.
We found a good supplier, weare rocking and I'm really
excited to offer some of thesethings to you guys.
Hopefully you like them, and ifyou don't, hey, that's fine.
Everyone's got their opinions,but I think they are going to be
(01:02):
sweet.
Anyways, back to today'sepisode.
The way I want to introduce thistopic is by telling a story
first.
So let me jump into that foryou.
There's an old story about afarmer.
In the spring he plants seedsEvery day, he waters them, tends
(01:22):
the soil and waits.
But summer brings drought, thesun scorches the ground and
growth is painfully slow.
The farmer could rage at theskies or give up on his crops,
but instead he keeps showing up.
He waters what little he can,pulls weeds and cares for the
ground.
When autumn comes, his harvestis smaller than he hoped.
But because he never stopped,there is still a harvest.
(01:44):
So the lesson there very simpleProgress doesn't always happen
on our timetable.
Sometimes, despite all oureffort, results don't come as
quickly as we clearly, asclearly as we want them to be.
And in those moments, grace iswhat keeps us moving forward.
Grace keeps us tending the soil, even in the dry seasons, and
(02:06):
that's what today's episode isall about.
Why grace isn't the opposite ofdiscipline.
In my opinion, it's one of thethings that can help you with
your discipline.
I'll get into that a little bitmore later on, but giving
yourself grace doesn't meanyou're lowering your standards.
In my own experience, it meansthat you're actually willing to
push a little bit further,because we'll look at how grace
(02:26):
can build consistency and howimportant it is to reframe your
perspective when things don't goyour way, and some practical
steps that you can also take andtry to apply to your life.
So why do I think grace buildsconsistency?
Well, it's kind of interesting,I think, if you're not, if you
(02:47):
don't understand that you're ahuman being, I believe all human
beings require grace to someextent we are.
We all make mistakes.
Every single one of us does.
That could be to yourself, itcould be with your goals, it
could be to someone else.
You might make a mistake andhurt someone else.
But the thing is is because weare all imperfect.
I think it's important torecognize that our training will
(03:11):
also be imperfect, and thegrace I want to talk about today
is specific to fitness, beinggraceful with yourself and
fitness, and we can make somecorrelations to our real lives.
But I want to keep it on thatconcept and on that topic.
So if you think about that ideathat we're all imperfect, you
can't expect every single one ofyour workouts to go perfectly.
(03:33):
I think that sets you up forfailure.
If you go out with this mindsetthat you're going to a hundred
percent, hit all your goals whenyou want to do it on your own
timetable, you might get slappedin the face a little bit.
You might have to take a stepback, reflect on where you're at
and make some adjustments toyour plan.
That's not a bad thing.
(03:55):
In fact, I think that's part ofgoals setting and and and
accomplishing things just as astandard.
You're going to have to adapt,you're going to have to make
changes, and if you don't, thatgives you more ammo to want to
give up, because if somethingisn't going your way and you
want it to fully go some certainway that you have built out in
(04:18):
your head, you might bedisappointed.
You might not get the resultsthat you want, and that might
lead to some self-talk, to whereyou talk yourself out of the
goal itself entirely.
You might say, well, I'm notgetting it to when I want, or
I'm not getting the thing when Iwant it.
There you know, the goal is, isdefined, it's clear, but it
(04:39):
hasn't happened yet and becauseit hasn't happened yet, I'm
going to give up entirely.
That's a dangerous place to beand I would argue that is a
loser's mindset.
It might be harsh, but I thinkthat's true.
A loser is someone who doesn'tfind ways to improve, to make
themselves better, to find waysto continue to push their
(05:00):
boundaries and to keep going.
Now we often think thatdiscipline never means missing
anything.
Right, you know, I often talkvery highly about discipline,
but it's because of the resultsI've seen in my own life from
practicing the principles thatdiscipline says.
You know you're never supposedto falter, you never let
(05:23):
yourselves off the hook whenthings go bad.
But the truth is, grace is whatmakes discipline sustainable,
in my opinion, because withoutit you can burn out.
Without it you might want toquit a few times and you might
give in to that thought, butwith it you keep showing up long
(05:44):
enough until the resultsactually do happen.
And I remember this because Iwas training for my first
ultramarathon in 2024.
And if you haven't trained foran ultramarathon, those are some
hard days.
Those are some really longhours on the trails.
Excuse me, they're long hourson your feet.
It is a very difficult thing todo and during that time I
(06:09):
remember just being so fatigued.
I was burnt out mentallybecause I was working a lot Like
I still have a full-time job.
So I go to work, I'm workingthere all day long, and then I'd
come home and I'd, you know,continue to try and be a good
husband for Allie, even though Iwas tired at the time.
(06:30):
But the training itself was whatwas difficult, because I was
fatigued beyond belief, my bodywas having a hard time
recovering and I didn't knowwhat to do.
I thought I was a loser.
I thought I wasn't made for ultfor ultra marathon running
because of how my body wasresponding at this time.
So I called up my coach and Iwas telling her my situation and
I just remember her saying hey,okay, well, let's back off,
(06:53):
let's take a full week.
And I was like what do you mean?
Take a full week?
And she's like you're not goingto train at all this next week.
And I was caught off guardbecause I hired this person to
help me train.
Right, I hired this coach whohas ran Boston, who's run ultra
marathons before, who's coachedmany others she's a great coach.
Here she comes telling me hey,actually let's not run next week
(07:17):
.
It was hard for me to digestfor a minute, but eventually I
was just like you know what.
She probably knows what she'stalking about.
She's done this before.
So I'm going to listen to her,I'm going to apply what she says
, and I remember that week whereI took off of training.
(07:37):
It felt like a weight was off myshoulders.
In a sense, I was able to takea step back and recognize, you
know, where I'm struggling in mytraining, where I need to shift
my focus, whether it's tonutrition or some other things,
and I had a lot of time torecover and rest.
I still stayed pretty activeduring that time, like going on
walks and that kind of thing,but it was weird and she was
(08:01):
right, though, because that weekof rest gave me the reset that
I really needed.
I reflected, I adjusted and Icame back stronger when the time
came.
Um, and in the end, I, like,when I ran the race, I placed
10th, which you know I'm I'mproud of because that was my
first ultra marathon race.
Um, who knows if that wouldhave happened if I just
(08:22):
stubbornly pushed through, if Ijust was like, hey, I'm just
gonna keep going.
Maybe I would have happened ifI just stubbornly pushed through
, if I just was like, hey, I'mjust going to keep going.
Maybe I would have gotten burntout closer to race day, and
maybe I might've not even hadthe opportunity to run it.
I love what Seneca says aboutthis, because I've mentioned
this so many times on thispodcast.
But we suffer more often in ourimagination than in reality,
(08:48):
suffer more often in ourimagination than in reality.
And the point I'm trying tomake with that quote relating to
grace is simply one missedworkout doesn't erase months of
training, because if you'resomeone who's into fitness, if
you are into running, trainingwhatever it is, and you miss a
day, you might have feelings ofguilt, you might have feelings
of discouragement or that you'renot good enough for your goals.
(09:09):
I have felt that before.
It's hard to live with.
I still have those feelings ondays where I'm not able to train
or if I'm feeling weak, man, Iwill beat myself up.
I will tell myself hey, likeyou're supposed to be, this guy
who's able to run far and who'sable to push themselves really
hard, you tell other people todo the same, and here you are
(09:31):
taking a rest day.
But those are all thoughts thatI just make up in my mind and,
like Seneca says, it's all myimagination.
Like we suffer much more in ourimagination than we do in
reality.
And so I've learned throughoutthe years that, hey, you know
what one missed workout is notgoing to ruin my progress.
(09:51):
If I have one bad meal, I'm notgoing to get destroyed on my
diet, I'm not going to gain 10pounds in one night, like it's
all things that we, it's allthings we imagine that drag us
down, that keep us there, andit's until you are graceful with
yourself and say you know what?
Hey, I might be off today, Imight have a rough day today,
(10:14):
but tomorrow I'll be back.
Even Jocko Willink, the man whoI have learned discipline from,
who taught me how to work hardand to learn the good in every
situation, the guy who's quote Ihave tattooed on my arm he
sometimes takes rest days.
He sometimes doesn't work outwhen he says he's going to at
430 in the morning because maybehe came back from a work trip
(10:36):
at 1 in the morning and it's notfeasible for him to go and work
out Like he needs rest.
But even he will post a pictureof his watch, as he does every
single day, and say hey, got toget back to bed, hold it for
down for me, like.
He will say stuff like that allthe time.
And I respect that because, assomeone who's really looked at
Jocko Willink as someone who,like he inspires me quite a bit.
(11:00):
If he's even having those dayswhere he doesn't feel strong
enough to be able to do it, heknows his body needs to recover
and rest so he can keep goingafter his goals then who am I to
be any different?
Who are you to be any different?
Like it's okay, it's not goingto kill you and so yeah, so
that's the lesson I'm trying toget at here is that grace
(11:22):
doesn't weaken discipline.
It in fact strengthens itbecause it keeps you consistent
in the long run.
That's important to note.
How can you remain consistent?
Because we're not aiming for100% perfection here.
We're aiming for consistency.
Big changes don't happenovernight.
They're built by small,consistent habits happen.
(11:44):
They don't happen overnight.
They're built by small,consistent habits.
And that's one of my biggestpieces of advice I could give to
anyone is build the habits bitby bit, brick by brick.
You've heard that before andeventually that result will come
, as long as you remainconsistent.
Now let's talk about reframinghow the brain works and how you
can kind of see a differentshift if you use grace properly
(12:06):
in your life.
So I used to completely measuremy progress by numbers.
You know, I'd look at mymileage, look at my paces, the
weights that are lifted, andthose do matter, don't get me
wrong.
They're very important,especially if you have like a
certain, like a certain miletime that you're going for in a
marathon or some kind of race.
But now I I measure my progressby how I respond to things,
(12:32):
like if I'm under the weatherand I still lace up for a run,
and maybe that run is is slowerand it takes me longer, maybe
it's even shorter.
I'm proud of that because Istill showed up and that's what
I have recognized as important.
At least to me is theconsistency of showing up for my
goals, even if the work isn'tthat great.
(12:54):
Jocko has another great quotewhere he says if all you can do
is go through the motions, thengo through the motions.
So if I'm just barely gettingby, I'm still showing up to
remain consistent and to remaindisciplined to myself, then by
all means I'm proud of the workthat I was able to do, because
the effort that took to get methere was more than it would
have been to go out on a regularrun.
(13:15):
That's what matters to me iscontinually showing up, and I
also follow the 30-30-30-10 rule, which means that 30% of my
runs are going to feel great.
They're going to feel amazing,and 30% are going to feel very
average, 30% are going to betough and 10% feel impossible,
like that's normal.
(13:36):
That is what growth looks like.
Expecting every day to beperfect is unrealistic in my
opinion, and when I feel behindwith my goals, I will pause.
I will sit with my thoughts andask do I need to rest or am I
being weak?
Because I think that's animportant distinction to be made
.
When I talk about grace, I'mnot giving you an outlet to go
(14:02):
and do whatever you want andtell yourself oh, you know, I'm
trying to be graceful withmyself.
No, what I'm getting at is howcan you keep the longevity of
you being consistent?
How can you stay consistent forthe long term, and grace plays
an important role in that.
You have to learn how to benice.
I hate that, but you have tolearn how to be nice to yourself
(14:23):
and how to support yourself,even on days when you don't feel
like doing things.
Um, the other day I was talkingto my brother about just our
weekly call.
We always talk about our goalstogether and where we're at and
the progress that each of ushave made and he was pretty
(14:43):
bummed with his uh effort thispast week.
He did really well the firstfour days of the week and the
last three he kind of got sickand when he talked to me he was
bummed, he was beating himselfup.
He's like, you know, all I gotis excuses.
I'm just weak.
And I was like dude, no, you'renot.
I was like tell me somethinggood that happened during the
(15:03):
week.
And he's like well, the firstfour days of the week I trained
really hard.
I was really proud of the workand so I was like okay, that's
54% of the week.
You're doing good stuff.
Like more than half the week youpush yourself.
You showed up when you didn'twant to and even though you're
sick right now, you're stilltrying to get out the door and
(15:23):
running.
Like he went on a two miletrail run on Saturday but he was
supposed to do 18, but all hecould do was eight or it was two
that day.
And I was like you're stilltrying to show up, even if
you're not getting the resultsyou want with the runs or with
your, your training.
That doesn't matter.
What's important to me is thatyou're continuing to show up for
your goals.
That doesn't matter.
What's important to me is thatyou're continuing to show up for
(15:45):
your goals.
Even when it's difficult, evenwhen you don't feel like you
have it in you, you're stilltrying to make it to the gym and
I was proud of him for that,because that's what progress
looks like sometimes, andsometimes it's just as simple as
(16:09):
reframing your mind to find thesmall wins throughout the week
to show yourself that you areactually making progress.
It just might be a littledelayed because things might
have came up in your life thathas slowed you down, which is
completely normal.
I want to make that clear.
It's completely normal.
Michael jordan has a reallyinteresting reframe when he
thinks about failing or failures.
He um, he says that you know hehe shot or he missed 9 000
shots in his career, and hewould reframe it as feedback,
(16:32):
like how he could learn fromwhatever he's doing right.
And I think that's powerful.
To also understand as well isthat even the greats, they will
have failures.
They will have times whenthey're missed.
Would they miss this?
Well, they will have timeswhere they miss the shot
literally, and they don't takethat as a loss, they take it as
hey, why did I miss that shot.
(16:53):
Let's break it down to thesmallest steps and let's figure
out how I can make that when thepressure's on next game, like
that's an important thing to toalso note is mich Michael Jordan
, the goat of basketball.
He even recognized that failureis feedback, and I'm not saying
you're, you're failing rightnow.
But let's just take the exampleof, let's say, you missed two
(17:16):
weeks of working out.
My advice would be simple it'sget back on track today, not
tomorrow, not next week.
Get back on track today, nottomorrow, not next week.
Get back on track today.
Prove to yourself that you canstill do something difficult and
let that momentum build.
Progress is not a straight line.
It's a series of reframes andsmall wins and the refusal to
(17:40):
quit.
You have to remain disciplined.
You have to remain committed tothe goal.
It's easier said than done.
I understand that, but I wouldchallenge you next time you run
into something that is aroadblock in your goals, see if
you can reframe it.
See if there's something thatyou could learn from this
(18:00):
opportunity and try to moveforward.
Keep that momentum and ifyou've fallen off the wagon, get
back on it.
Today.
You have the power to choose.
And if you're listening to thisand it's 10 30 PM at night and
you're feeling that urge to goand do something difficult.
Go run around your neighborhoodfor 30 minutes like go do
something hard, prove toyourself that you can still do
(18:21):
it and show up.
And then let that momentumcarry you into the next day and
let it keep going.
But reframe it as, hey, I'm nota loser, I'm going to get back
on track.
Like I loser is a harsh word,but try and reframe it as an
opportunity to be like hey, youknow what, I still got it.
(18:42):
I'm not going to let thisdefine who I am.
And prove to yourself that youcan still push.
I want to give you somepractical steps to apply this to
your life and to maybe seegrace as an aid in your goals
rather than a deterrent or aweakness.
In my experience, disciplinedoes not just happen to someone.
(19:03):
That's built through repetitionand structure makes it
sustainable.
Right now I'm training for anultra marathon in October and I
try and break down my traininginto three different pillars,
and that's the mileage, thenutrition and the recovery, and
obviously mileage tests mydistance.
Nutrition ensures that I canfuel without crashing and
(19:26):
recovery protects my body frombreaking down and each week I
will pull back and ask myselfwhich of these three areas do I
need to spend more time on?
If it's recovery, then usuallyneed to spend more time on.
If it's recovery, then usuallyI'll spend more time stretching.
I'll spend more time doingmobility exercises and might
slow down my paces, take it alittle bit lighter in the gym.
If it's nutrition, I'llexperiment with different things
(19:50):
.
While I'm running I'll try toreally really test my nutrition,
which is interesting to say,like on a podcast, because why
would you need to work on yournutrition?
Well, if you eat the wrongthings on race day, your stomach
might really get messed up.
Your body might not respondvery well to them.
So it's important to practicethat during the weeks of
(20:11):
training.
So as you approach race day,that's locked in, you're good to
go.
And recovery is also important,like you have to learn how to
recover.
But the more I focus on takingeach of those small, the three
pillars, and trying to focus oneach one each week, it makes it
(20:31):
a little less overwhelming.
It makes it more sustainablefor me.
And when I was training for myfirst ultra marathon, I
mentioned how I was just veryoverwhelmed.
I felt fatigued mentally andphysically because it's my first
one, right.
But this one I'm taking adifferent approach, trying to
break it down into the smallestcategories I can focus on on
(20:52):
each week and just make progressin each of those.
And I know it sounds likeyou're not going to be making a
lot of progress and it might notlook that way day by day, but
as you look back you will seethat actually you are being
consistent, you're maintainingmomentum, you're building that
momentum and you're gettingcloser to your goals.
(21:12):
It's hard to do, but it'simportant to be able to have
these honest conversations withyourself and see where you can
focus on.
And I also use checkpoints,like I have weekly, monthly,
quarterly and yearly goals and Iwrite them down, I review them
frequently and I couple thatwith journaling.
Like journaling for me is directfeedback into how I'm thinking
(21:35):
about something, what I could bedoing different about something
and if there's anything that isin my way that's blocking my
progress.
The caveat to that is you haveto be very honest with yourself.
There's no sugarcoating likewhy would you sugarcoat it?
It's basically you're takingyour own thoughts and putting
them on paper.
So if you're worried aboutsugarcoating your journal for
(21:55):
yourself.
I I'd say don't do that, that'ssilly, like it's a honest
conversation with yourself, and,and when I review my goals, I I
you know if I miss one or if Imake one.
You know I record thosemilestones so I can either look
at the pages and say, man, I gota lot of work to do, or I can
look at the pages and say, hey,I'm on track, like I'm doing
(22:17):
good, let's keep it going.
But it's important to alwaysself-reflect and I think for me,
journaling is one of the bestways to do that.
For you it could be just audiorecordings.
That's something my wife doeswhenever she wants to like get
some thoughts out and keep themin her notes app.
She'll just do an audio messageand then put it in there, which
I think is awesome.
And so your journal, yourjournaling aspect, might be very
(22:38):
different.
Maybe for you, journaling isgoing on walks, just so you can
be alone with your thoughts andsee where you're at with your
goals, what you could be doingdifferently and how can you, you
can improve, um, but I want tocall out something which is is
kind of interesting for me,someone who talks about getting
after it all the time.
It's kind of interesting for me, someone who talks about
getting after it all the time.
Rest is another piece of thepuzzle To many people.
(23:02):
They train until theycompletely collapse, and that's
their idea of being disciplined,of working hard.
But discipline isn't aboutdestroying yourself.
It's about sustainability, likewe've talked about, and that
means sometimes you need tolisten to your body.
If you need to ease back, do it.
(23:23):
Scaling down is not the same asgiving up.
Like I said, the whole goal isconsistency, and the more that
you can master your mindset, themore you can control your brain
and your thoughts, the betteroff you'll be.
In fact, buddha has a quotewhere he says a man who conquers
himself is greater than one whoconquers a thousand men in
battle.
That's pretty interesting, andthink about that for a second.
(23:48):
If you're able to conqueryourself, if you're able to
maintain your own self-talk andbe able to really focus on areas
that you want to improve on, beable to keep those negative
thoughts at bay, don't let theminfiltrate your life, you might
start seeing a little bit moreprogress than if you were just
so hard on yourself every daythat you started to hate your
(24:09):
life and you think nowdiscipline is something that you
are not looking forward tohaving exercise right.
So being graceful is veryimportant.
It makes things verysustainable, and if I was
coaching someone who was brandnew to running or to really
chasing a goal, the first thingI would tell them to do is to be
(24:34):
patient with themselves,because you're going to ask a
lot of your body and setbackswill come, but just don't quit.
Even the smallest forwardmotion matters.
That is forward motion.
You're getting better every day.
People talk about 1% betterevery day, but honestly, I think
it's not linear like that.
I think it's some days you're5%, some days you go down
(24:54):
negative 3%, some days youbounce back up 2%.
It is a stock market line andeventually, if you look at the
end, yes, it does in fact go upif you're focusing on the right
things at the right time andtrying to be the best in
everything that you do.
Now you don't have to be thebest, like you don't have to be
number one, but you should beyour best, and that is going to
look different for everybody.
(25:17):
Nick bear often talks aboutstacking daily habits until they
become identity, and there's alot of power to that.
You build these small dailyhabits that eventually they
become who those habits create.
So for me, for good example isrunning.
Like since we're talking aboutrunning, might as well talk
about my own story.
So for me, a good example isrunning.
Since we're talking aboutrunning, I might as well talk
(25:38):
about my own story.
Right, I guess that's what I doon a podcast.
But my running story, yeah,it's very average.
I started out running 12-minutemiles and I couldn't run further
than five.
I eventually made my way up toseven and I was stoked because I
(25:58):
had an 11-minute per mile pace.
But for the first two years Iwasn't really training with a
coach, I was kind of just goingon my own feelings.
And the important thing is is Ijust never would stop showing
up.
I would always try and run,even if my legs are sore, and I
would always try and see if Icould push myself just like a
quarter mile further.
But that quarter mile led up toa mile, and now I'm training
(26:20):
for an ultra marathon, which I'mso blessed to be able to do.
But that didn't happenovernight.
Like Nick Bear says, it'sstacking those daily habits.
And because I stack that dailyhabit of running, guess what?
I'm a runner, but I alsobelieve the fact that if you
just decide to go out and run,you're a runner too, but runner.
(26:44):
But I also believe the factthat if you just decide to go
out and run, you're a runner too.
But now, like I can say, like,hey, I'm, I'm a decent runner,
I'm okay, I can, I can maintaina good pace and and stay in the
fight for a good chunk ofmileage.
But that's only because Ishowed up and I stayed in the
fight for as long as I have, andI wish there was a faster way
to get to the goals that youhave set in front of you, to get
to that end point.
But in my experience it's notthat way.
It's very slow and steadyGetting after it.
(27:06):
This podcast is another greatexample of that.
Sometimes I'll try and pile ontoo much at once.
I won't know what to focus on,which means my work in each of
those things that I'm doing isnot going to be as great as if I
focus on one area at a time.
So, with that same structure Iapply to my running of hey, I
got to focus on mileage,nutrition and recovery.
I do the same with gettingafter it.
You know the podcast, socialmedia shirts, the website, the
(27:29):
blog, like things like that.
I try and break them down intohey, what needs my attention at
the moment and how can I give it?
My all For me that tends tolead me to do better work and
work that actually has resultson, hopefully, the people who
are listening or reading thethings that I produce.
I think patience is crucial whenyou're trying to be graceful
(27:51):
with yourself, because when Ifirst married my wife, I was
very bad at talking to myself,and what I mean by that is I was
super negative to myself.
I would beat myself up if Iwasn't able to get a certain
weight up, if I wasn't able topush myself as hard as I wanted
to on a run, like I would tellmyself the worst things, and
(28:13):
that only made my thoughtsnegative.
And this is so cliche.
But having positive thoughtsgets you a lot further than
having negative ones, Becausewhen you think about positivity,
you focus on what's going well,you live in more of a life of
abundance, and I feel like ifyou're focusing on the negative
(28:33):
all the time, that gives you ascarcity mindset, to where
you're focused on the problemrather than what you can be
doing to change the situationand my wife sat me down once and
she's like you got to be yourbiggest cheerleader.
Like that's why I talk aboutthat a lot, because it's a very
important lesson to me.
I used to hate myself with if Ilike messed up on a workout or
if I didn't do as well at workas I wanted to.
(28:54):
If I even had like a mediocrepodcast, I would beat myself up
and my wife's like I rememberher saying this she's like if
you're not going to root for you, who is like no one's going to
want to follow someone who'sjust in self pity all the time,
no one's going to take advicefrom that person.
No, you got to be your ownbiggest cheerleader and that's
(29:15):
why I'm making getting after itshirts, because I, you know, I'm
cheering myself on.
I want to see people wearing mymy shirts and, you know,
hopefully they listen to thepodcast and it's made some kind
of impact on them to where theyare a little bit more amped up
to go achieve their goals, to gochase something that they've
wanted to for a while.
But maybe I've just been alittle scared of that.
That's what I want.
(29:36):
I want a bunch of people outthere who are just animals going
after their goals, who aremaking progress in things that
they didn't think they couldbefore and who are helping
others do the same.
I want a community of peoplewho are getting after it all the
time, and the only way that'sbuilt is by cheering myself on.
(29:59):
I might sound very pridefulright now, but you know what?
That's what I believe.
I got to cheer myself on,because there's days when people
don't they don't even listen tothe podcast.
Or there's days when you know Iexplain what getting after it
is to someone and they're likeokay, that's great.
(30:19):
There's plenty of other thingsout there that already do that
and it's like yes, I know, but Iwant this to be a specific
community of people who don'tstop, who commit to their goals,
who adapt when things go wrong,who help others along the way
to stay motivated, to keep going, and I want to be able to
highlight people when they win,like.
That's why I love having otherpeople on this podcast to talk
(30:41):
to them about their goals andwhat they've done, because it's
awesome to hear them talk aboutwhat has caused them to grow,
what has made them the personthat they are, and I hope to
continue to bring on guests likethat who are able to share
their stories.
But what's interesting aboutevery single person I've brought
(31:04):
on is they've all told a storyabout how they once recognized
that they needed to adjust theirgoals, that they weren't going
to be able to do it exactly howthey expected it to go, and you
know what Every single personwho has said something like that
has said that it's had apositive impact on them in some
degree.
(31:26):
Like, I think, of MichaelWhitaker, who he tore his PCL
when he was going to go tonationals and he still competed.
But he said during that time,you know, he pushed himself and
he learned a lot about himselfthat he would not have if he
decided to drop out for theseason.
Or, um, I just had on dylanshirts, who's a discus thrower,
and he talked about how he, youknow, got injured once and he
(31:49):
had to sit on the sidelines fora while and he still did all he
could to to remain dedicated toa sport, but he learned he had
to make some adjustments to histhrows and all these different
things.
And of Drew who, my brother,who runs now and has this
amazing transformation storyfrom when he was 265 pounds to
now he's 203.
But he's definitely texted meand he's definitely called me
(32:12):
and had days where he's like youknow what I feel?
Like a loser, like exactly whatI talked about today with him
saying you know, I missed threedays of my workout program.
I kind of feel like I'm fallingbehind when in reality, he's
made so much progress over thepast two years that no one would
look at that guy and say, hey,that guy's falling behind.
(32:33):
So learn to be graceful withyourself.
Don't beat yourself up anymore.
You should be your own biggestcheerleader, especially on times
when you need grace, becauseeveryone falters, everyone falls
down, stumbles, but you have tolearn to get back up and keep
that momentum going forward.
That is what's going to get youthat long-term goal.
It's going to get you to whereyou want to go.
(32:54):
It's consistency coupled withbeing graceful, being
disciplined and just not stop.
Wow, guys, I am sorry I'mreally having a hard time with
words today, but it's notstopping on your goals.
It's making progress every day,even if it's minute, you just
(33:15):
keep on going.
So here's the takeaway I wantyou to have Grace fuels
discipline.
It's not an excuse to you know.
Slack off, it's the thing thatkeeps you from going.
It's the thing that keeps youwhen you're aiming for
perfection but don't reach thatlevel.
Perfection sometimes breakspeople.
(33:39):
Aiming for perfection can leadto stalled results.
So be patient with yourself.
Reframe your setbacks aslessons, just like Michael
Jordan.
Build a structure that makesdiscipline sustainable.
And, most of all, don't youever stop moving forward, no
matter how small the step is.
So this week, if you fall shorton some kind of goal, practice
(34:04):
grace instead of guilt and shame.
Then just keep moving forward.
Learn to get better.
So it's all about guys.
We're all striving to be alittle bit better every single
day and, like I said, I don'tthink it's a linear line.
I think it's more jagged likethe stock market, but as long
think it's a linear line.
I think it's more jagged likethe stock market, but as long as
it's continuing to go up,you're making progress.
(34:25):
That's why you should makegoals.
That's why you should trackthem and look at them every now
and then and see where you're at, see if you're making progress
or if you need to make someadjustments to get there.
I appreciate you guys forlistening.
I hope you guys can be a littlebit nicer to yourselves,
(34:47):
because I know it's a big issue,especially a big issue that
athletes face um and just learnthat.
Hey, you know what we're allhuman beings.
We can't all strive forperfection all the time, because
it's not realistic.
So keep that momentum going.
Thank you for listening.
My, my friends and, uh, asalways, keep getting after it.
Thanks, guys.
Welcome back to the getting after a podcast.
Everybody excited to have youhere today.
As always, I appreciate you fortuning in and listening with
your friend Brett.
It's another quick hitter today.
I'm trying to boil down thelessons that I want to talk
about on my own in a very shortway, just so it's easily
understood and it's not too long.
You know we don't want to sitthrough lectures and I don't
(00:21):
want this podcast to turn into alecture.
So, trying to give more easy,easy, actionable items that you
can take and apply to your life,hopefully improving it,
improving your situation,helping you get after a little
bit better, getting you one stepcloser to your goals, that's
the goal.
So the thing that we're goingto talk about today Ooh, before,
(00:42):
actually before we do that, Iwant to introduce you to the
first Getting After it merchthat will be live here shortly.
We found a good supplier, weare rocking and I'm really
excited to offer some of thesethings to you guys.
Hopefully you like them, and ifyou don't, hey, that's fine.
Everyone's got their opinions,but I think they are going to be
(01:02):
sweet.
Anyways, back to today'sepisode.
The way I want to introduce thistopic is by telling a story
first.
So let me jump into that foryou.
There's an old story about afarmer.
In the spring he plants seedsEvery day, he waters them, tends
(01:22):
the soil and waits.
But summer brings drought, thesun scorches the ground and
growth is painfully slow.
The farmer could rage at theskies or give up on his crops,
but instead he keeps showing up.
He waters what little he can,pulls weeds and cares for the
ground.
When autumn comes, his harvestis smaller than he hoped.
But because he never stopped,there is still a harvest.
(01:44):
So the lesson there very simpleProgress doesn't always happen
on our timetable.
Sometimes, despite all oureffort, results don't come as
quickly as we clearly, asclearly as we want them to be.
And in those moments, grace iswhat keeps us moving forward.
Grace keeps us tending the soil, even in the dry seasons, and
(02:06):
that's what today's episode isall about.
Why grace isn't the opposite ofdiscipline.
In my opinion, it's one of thethings that can help you with
your discipline.
I'll get into that a little bitmore later on, but giving
yourself grace doesn't meanyou're lowering your standards.
In my own experience, it meansthat you're actually willing to
push a little bit further,because we'll look at how grace
(02:26):
can build consistency and howimportant it is to reframe your
perspective when things don't goyour way, and some practical
steps that you can also take andtry to apply to your life.
So why do I think grace buildsconsistency?
Well, it's kind of interesting,I think, if you're not, if you
(02:47):
don't understand that you're ahuman being, I believe all human
beings require grace to someextent we are.
We all make mistakes.
Every single one of us does.
That could be to yourself, itcould be with your goals, it
could be to someone else.
You might make a mistake andhurt someone else.
But the thing is is because weare all imperfect.
I think it's important torecognize that our training will
(03:11):
also be imperfect, and thegrace I want to talk about today
is specific to fitness, beinggraceful with yourself and
fitness, and we can make somecorrelations to our real lives.
But I want to keep it on thatconcept and on that topic.
So if you think about that ideathat we're all imperfect, you
can't expect every single one ofyour workouts to go perfectly.
(03:33):
I think that sets you up forfailure.
If you go out with this mindsetthat you're going to a hundred
percent, hit all your goals whenyou want to do it on your own
timetable, you might get slappedin the face a little bit.
You might have to take a stepback, reflect on where you're at
and make some adjustments toyour plan.
That's not a bad thing.
(03:55):
In fact, I think that's part ofgoals setting and and and
accomplishing things just as astandard.
You're going to have to adapt,you're going to have to make
changes, and if you don't, thatgives you more ammo to want to
give up, because if somethingisn't going your way and you
want it to fully go some certainway that you have built out in
(04:18):
your head, you might bedisappointed.
You might not get the resultsthat you want, and that might
lead to some self-talk, to whereyou talk yourself out of the
goal itself entirely.
You might say, well, I'm notgetting it to when I want, or
I'm not getting the thing when Iwant it.
There you know, the goal is, isdefined, it's clear, but it
(04:39):
hasn't happened yet and becauseit hasn't happened yet, I'm
going to give up entirely.
That's a dangerous place to beand I would argue that is a
loser's mindset.
It might be harsh, but I thinkthat's true.
A loser is someone who doesn'tfind ways to improve, to make
themselves better, to find waysto continue to push their
(05:00):
boundaries and to keep going.
Now we often think thatdiscipline never means missing
anything.
Right, you know, I often talkvery highly about discipline,
but it's because of the resultsI've seen in my own life from
practicing the principles thatdiscipline says.
You know you're never supposedto falter, you never let
(05:23):
yourselves off the hook whenthings go bad.
But the truth is, grace is whatmakes discipline sustainable,
in my opinion, because withoutit you can burn out.
Without it you might want toquit a few times and you might
give in to that thought, butwith it you keep showing up long
(05:44):
enough until the resultsactually do happen.
And I remember this because Iwas training for my first
ultramarathon in 2024.
And if you haven't trained foran ultramarathon, those are some
hard days.
Those are some really longhours on the trails.
Excuse me, they're long hourson your feet.
It is a very difficult thing todo and during that time I
(06:09):
remember just being so fatigued.
I was burnt out mentallybecause I was working a lot Like
I still have a full-time job.
So I go to work, I'm workingthere all day long, and then I'd
come home and I'd, you know,continue to try and be a good
husband for Allie, even though Iwas tired at the time.
(06:30):
But the training itself was whatwas difficult, because I was
fatigued beyond belief, my bodywas having a hard time
recovering and I didn't knowwhat to do.
I thought I was a loser.
I thought I wasn't made for ultfor ultra marathon running
because of how my body wasresponding at this time.
So I called up my coach and Iwas telling her my situation and
I just remember her saying hey,okay, well, let's back off,
(06:53):
let's take a full week.
And I was like what do you mean?
Take a full week?
And she's like you're not goingto train at all this next week.
And I was caught off guardbecause I hired this person to
help me train.
Right, I hired this coach whohas ran Boston, who's run ultra
marathons before, who's coachedmany others she's a great coach.
Here she comes telling me hey,actually let's not run next week
(07:17):
.
It was hard for me to digestfor a minute, but eventually I
was just like you know what.
She probably knows what she'stalking about.
She's done this before.
So I'm going to listen to her,I'm going to apply what she says
, and I remember that week whereI took off of training.
(07:37):
It felt like a weight was off myshoulders.
In a sense, I was able to takea step back and recognize, you
know, where I'm struggling in mytraining, where I need to shift
my focus, whether it's tonutrition or some other things,
and I had a lot of time torecover and rest.
I still stayed pretty activeduring that time, like going on
walks and that kind of thing,but it was weird and she was
(08:01):
right, though, because that weekof rest gave me the reset that
I really needed.
I reflected, I adjusted and Icame back stronger when the time
came.
Um, and in the end, I, like,when I ran the race, I placed
10th, which you know I'm I'mproud of because that was my
first ultra marathon race.
Um, who knows if that wouldhave happened if I just
(08:22):
stubbornly pushed through, if Ijust was like, hey, I'm just
gonna keep going.
Maybe I would have happened ifI just stubbornly pushed through
, if I just was like, hey, I'mjust going to keep going.
Maybe I would have gotten burntout closer to race day, and
maybe I might've not even hadthe opportunity to run it.
I love what Seneca says aboutthis, because I've mentioned
this so many times on thispodcast.
But we suffer more often in ourimagination than in reality,
(08:48):
suffer more often in ourimagination than in reality.
And the point I'm trying tomake with that quote relating to
grace is simply one missedworkout doesn't erase months of
training, because if you'resomeone who's into fitness, if
you are into running, trainingwhatever it is, and you miss a
day, you might have feelings ofguilt, you might have feelings
of discouragement or that you'renot good enough for your goals.
(09:09):
I have felt that before.
It's hard to live with.
I still have those feelings ondays where I'm not able to train
or if I'm feeling weak, man, Iwill beat myself up.
I will tell myself hey, likeyou're supposed to be, this guy
who's able to run far and who'sable to push themselves really
hard, you tell other people todo the same, and here you are
(09:31):
taking a rest day.
But those are all thoughts thatI just make up in my mind and,
like Seneca says, it's all myimagination.
Like we suffer much more in ourimagination than we do in
reality.
And so I've learned throughoutthe years that, hey, you know
what one missed workout is notgoing to ruin my progress.
(09:51):
If I have one bad meal, I'm notgoing to get destroyed on my
diet, I'm not going to gain 10pounds in one night, like it's
all things that we, it's allthings we imagine that drag us
down, that keep us there, andit's until you are graceful with
yourself and say you know what?
Hey, I might be off today, Imight have a rough day today,
(10:14):
but tomorrow I'll be back.
Even Jocko Willink, the man whoI have learned discipline from,
who taught me how to work hardand to learn the good in every
situation, the guy who's quote Ihave tattooed on my arm he
sometimes takes rest days.
He sometimes doesn't work outwhen he says he's going to at
430 in the morning because maybehe came back from a work trip
(10:36):
at 1 in the morning and it's notfeasible for him to go and work
out Like he needs rest.
But even he will post a pictureof his watch, as he does every
single day, and say hey, got toget back to bed, hold it for
down for me, like.
He will say stuff like that allthe time.
And I respect that because, assomeone who's really looked at
Jocko Willink as someone who,like he inspires me quite a bit.
(11:00):
If he's even having those dayswhere he doesn't feel strong
enough to be able to do it, heknows his body needs to recover
and rest so he can keep goingafter his goals then who am I to
be any different?
Who are you to be any different?
Like it's okay, it's not goingto kill you and so yeah, so
that's the lesson I'm trying toget at here is that grace
(11:22):
doesn't weaken discipline.
It in fact strengthens itbecause it keeps you consistent
in the long run.
That's important to note.
How can you remain consistent?
Because we're not aiming for100% perfection here.
We're aiming for consistency.
Big changes don't happenovernight.
They're built by small,consistent habits happen.
(11:44):
They don't happen overnight.
They're built by small,consistent habits.
And that's one of my biggestpieces of advice I could give to
anyone is build the habits bitby bit, brick by brick.
You've heard that before andeventually that result will come
, as long as you remainconsistent.
Now let's talk about reframinghow the brain works and how you
can kind of see a differentshift if you use grace properly
(12:06):
in your life.
So I used to completely measuremy progress by numbers.
You know, I'd look at mymileage, look at my paces, the
weights that are lifted, andthose do matter, don't get me
wrong.
They're very important,especially if you have like a
certain, like a certain miletime that you're going for in a
marathon or some kind of race.
But now I I measure my progressby how I respond to things,
(12:32):
like if I'm under the weatherand I still lace up for a run,
and maybe that run is is slowerand it takes me longer, maybe
it's even shorter.
I'm proud of that because Istill showed up and that's what
I have recognized as important.
At least to me is theconsistency of showing up for my
goals, even if the work isn'tthat great.
(12:54):
Jocko has another great quotewhere he says if all you can do
is go through the motions, thengo through the motions.
So if I'm just barely gettingby, I'm still showing up to
remain consistent and to remaindisciplined to myself, then by
all means I'm proud of the workthat I was able to do, because
the effort that took to get methere was more than it would
have been to go out on a regularrun.
(13:15):
That's what matters to me iscontinually showing up, and I
also follow the 30-30-30-10 rule, which means that 30% of my
runs are going to feel great.
They're going to feel amazing,and 30% are going to feel very
average, 30% are going to betough and 10% feel impossible,
like that's normal.
(13:36):
That is what growth looks like.
Expecting every day to beperfect is unrealistic in my
opinion, and when I feel behindwith my goals, I will pause.
I will sit with my thoughts andask do I need to rest or am I
being weak?
Because I think that's animportant distinction to be made
.
When I talk about grace, I'mnot giving you an outlet to go
(14:02):
and do whatever you want andtell yourself oh, you know, I'm
trying to be graceful withmyself.
No, what I'm getting at is howcan you keep the longevity of
you being consistent?
How can you stay consistent forthe long term, and grace plays
an important role in that.
You have to learn how to benice.
I hate that, but you have tolearn how to be nice to yourself
(14:23):
and how to support yourself,even on days when you don't feel
like doing things.
Um, the other day I was talkingto my brother about just our
weekly call.
We always talk about our goalstogether and where we're at and
the progress that each of ushave made and he was pretty
(14:43):
bummed with his uh effort thispast week.
He did really well the firstfour days of the week and the
last three he kind of got sickand when he talked to me he was
bummed, he was beating himselfup.
He's like, you know, all I gotis excuses.
I'm just weak.
And I was like dude, no, you'renot.
I was like tell me somethinggood that happened during the
(15:03):
week.
And he's like well, the firstfour days of the week I trained
really hard.
I was really proud of the workand so I was like okay, that's
54% of the week.
You're doing good stuff.
Like more than half the week youpush yourself.
You showed up when you didn'twant to and even though you're
sick right now, you're stilltrying to get out the door and
(15:23):
running.
Like he went on a two miletrail run on Saturday but he was
supposed to do 18, but all hecould do was eight or it was two
that day.
And I was like you're stilltrying to show up, even if
you're not getting the resultsyou want with the runs or with
your, your training.
That doesn't matter.
What's important to me is thatyou're continuing to show up for
your goals.
That doesn't matter.
What's important to me is thatyou're continuing to show up for
(15:45):
your goals.
Even when it's difficult, evenwhen you don't feel like you
have it in you, you're stilltrying to make it to the gym and
I was proud of him for that,because that's what progress
looks like sometimes, andsometimes it's just as simple as
(16:09):
reframing your mind to find thesmall wins throughout the week
to show yourself that you areactually making progress.
It just might be a littledelayed because things might
have came up in your life thathas slowed you down, which is
completely normal.
I want to make that clear.
It's completely normal.
Michael jordan has a reallyinteresting reframe when he
thinks about failing or failures.
He um, he says that you know hehe shot or he missed 9 000
shots in his career, and hewould reframe it as feedback,
(16:32):
like how he could learn fromwhatever he's doing right.
And I think that's powerful.
To also understand as well isthat even the greats, they will
have failures.
They will have times whenthey're missed.
Would they miss this?
Well, they will have timeswhere they miss the shot
literally, and they don't takethat as a loss, they take it as
hey, why did I miss that shot.
(16:53):
Let's break it down to thesmallest steps and let's figure
out how I can make that when thepressure's on next game, like
that's an important thing to toalso note is mich Michael Jordan
, the goat of basketball.
He even recognized that failureis feedback, and I'm not saying
you're, you're failing rightnow.
But let's just take the exampleof, let's say, you missed two
(17:16):
weeks of working out.
My advice would be simple it'sget back on track today, not
tomorrow, not next week.
Get back on track today, nottomorrow, not next week.
Get back on track today.
Prove to yourself that you canstill do something difficult and
let that momentum build.
Progress is not a straight line.
It's a series of reframes andsmall wins and the refusal to
(17:40):
quit.
You have to remain disciplined.
You have to remain committed tothe goal.
It's easier said than done.
I understand that, but I wouldchallenge you next time you run
into something that is aroadblock in your goals, see if
you can reframe it.
See if there's something thatyou could learn from this
(18:00):
opportunity and try to moveforward.
Keep that momentum and ifyou've fallen off the wagon, get
back on it.
Today.
You have the power to choose.
And if you're listening to thisand it's 10 30 PM at night and
you're feeling that urge to goand do something difficult.
Go run around your neighborhoodfor 30 minutes like go do
something hard, prove toyourself that you can still do
(18:21):
it and show up.
And then let that momentumcarry you into the next day and
let it keep going.
But reframe it as, hey, I'm nota loser, I'm going to get back
on track.
Like I loser is a harsh word,but try and reframe it as an
opportunity to be like hey, youknow what, I still got it.
(18:42):
I'm not going to let thisdefine who I am.
And prove to yourself that youcan still push.
I want to give you somepractical steps to apply this to
your life and to maybe seegrace as an aid in your goals
rather than a deterrent or aweakness.
In my experience, disciplinedoes not just happen to someone.
(19:03):
That's built through repetitionand structure makes it
sustainable.
Right now I'm training for anultra marathon in October and I
try and break down my traininginto three different pillars,
and that's the mileage, thenutrition and the recovery, and
obviously mileage tests mydistance.
Nutrition ensures that I canfuel without crashing and
(19:26):
recovery protects my body frombreaking down and each week I
will pull back and ask myselfwhich of these three areas do I
need to spend more time on?
If it's recovery, then usuallyneed to spend more time on.
If it's recovery, then usuallyI'll spend more time stretching.
I'll spend more time doingmobility exercises and might
slow down my paces, take it alittle bit lighter in the gym.
If it's nutrition, I'llexperiment with different things
(19:50):
.
While I'm running I'll try toreally really test my nutrition,
which is interesting to say,like on a podcast, because why
would you need to work on yournutrition?
Well, if you eat the wrongthings on race day, your stomach
might really get messed up.
Your body might not respondvery well to them.
So it's important to practicethat during the weeks of
(20:11):
training.
So as you approach race day,that's locked in, you're good to
go.
And recovery is also important,like you have to learn how to
recover.
But the more I focus on takingeach of those small, the three
pillars, and trying to focus oneach one each week, it makes it
(20:31):
a little less overwhelming.
It makes it more sustainablefor me.
And when I was training for myfirst ultra marathon, I
mentioned how I was just veryoverwhelmed.
I felt fatigued mentally andphysically because it's my first
one, right.
But this one I'm taking adifferent approach, trying to
break it down into the smallestcategories I can focus on on
(20:52):
each week and just make progressin each of those.
And I know it sounds likeyou're not going to be making a
lot of progress and it might notlook that way day by day, but
as you look back you will seethat actually you are being
consistent, you're maintainingmomentum, you're building that
momentum and you're gettingcloser to your goals.
(21:12):
It's hard to do, but it'simportant to be able to have
these honest conversations withyourself and see where you can
focus on.
And I also use checkpoints,like I have weekly, monthly,
quarterly and yearly goals and Iwrite them down, I review them
frequently and I couple thatwith journaling.
Like journaling for me is directfeedback into how I'm thinking
(21:35):
about something, what I could bedoing different about something
and if there's anything that isin my way that's blocking my
progress.
The caveat to that is you haveto be very honest with yourself.
There's no sugarcoating likewhy would you sugarcoat it?
It's basically you're takingyour own thoughts and putting
them on paper.
So if you're worried aboutsugarcoating your journal for
(21:55):
yourself.
I I'd say don't do that, that'ssilly, like it's a honest
conversation with yourself, and,and when I review my goals, I I
you know if I miss one or if Imake one.
You know I record thosemilestones so I can either look
at the pages and say, man, I gota lot of work to do, or I can
look at the pages and say, hey,I'm on track, like I'm doing
(22:17):
good, let's keep it going.
But it's important to alwaysself-reflect and I think for me,
journaling is one of the bestways to do that.
For you it could be just audiorecordings.
That's something my wife doeswhenever she wants to like get
some thoughts out and keep themin her notes app.
She'll just do an audio messageand then put it in there, which
I think is awesome.
And so your journal, yourjournaling aspect, might be very
(22:38):
different.
Maybe for you, journaling isgoing on walks, just so you can
be alone with your thoughts andsee where you're at with your
goals, what you could be doingdifferently and how can you, you
can improve, um, but I want tocall out something which is is
kind of interesting for me,someone who talks about getting
after it all the time.
It's kind of interesting for me, someone who talks about
getting after it all the time.
Rest is another piece of thepuzzle To many people.
(23:02):
They train until theycompletely collapse, and that's
their idea of being disciplined,of working hard.
But discipline isn't aboutdestroying yourself.
It's about sustainability, likewe've talked about, and that
means sometimes you need tolisten to your body.
If you need to ease back, do it.
(23:23):
Scaling down is not the same asgiving up.
Like I said, the whole goal isconsistency, and the more that
you can master your mindset, themore you can control your brain
and your thoughts, the betteroff you'll be.
In fact, buddha has a quotewhere he says a man who conquers
himself is greater than one whoconquers a thousand men in
battle.
That's pretty interesting, andthink about that for a second.
(23:48):
If you're able to conqueryourself, if you're able to
maintain your own self-talk andbe able to really focus on areas
that you want to improve on, beable to keep those negative
thoughts at bay, don't let theminfiltrate your life, you might
start seeing a little bit moreprogress than if you were just
so hard on yourself every daythat you started to hate your
(24:09):
life and you think nowdiscipline is something that you
are not looking forward tohaving exercise right.
So being graceful is veryimportant.
It makes things verysustainable, and if I was
coaching someone who was brandnew to running or to really
chasing a goal, the first thingI would tell them to do is to be
(24:34):
patient with themselves,because you're going to ask a
lot of your body and setbackswill come, but just don't quit.
Even the smallest forwardmotion matters.
That is forward motion.
You're getting better every day.
People talk about 1% betterevery day, but honestly, I think
it's not linear like that.
I think it's some days you're5%, some days you go down
(24:54):
negative 3%, some days youbounce back up 2%.
It is a stock market line andeventually, if you look at the
end, yes, it does in fact go upif you're focusing on the right
things at the right time andtrying to be the best in
everything that you do.
Now you don't have to be thebest, like you don't have to be
number one, but you should beyour best, and that is going to
look different for everybody.
(25:17):
Nick bear often talks aboutstacking daily habits until they
become identity, and there's alot of power to that.
You build these small dailyhabits that eventually they
become who those habits create.
So for me, for good example isrunning.
Like since we're talking aboutrunning, might as well talk
about my own story.
So for me, a good example isrunning.
Since we're talking aboutrunning, I might as well talk
(25:38):
about my own story.
Right, I guess that's what I doon a podcast.
But my running story, yeah,it's very average.
I started out running 12-minutemiles and I couldn't run further
than five.
I eventually made my way up toseven and I was stoked because I
(25:58):
had an 11-minute per mile pace.
But for the first two years Iwasn't really training with a
coach, I was kind of just goingon my own feelings.
And the important thing is is Ijust never would stop showing
up.
I would always try and run,even if my legs are sore, and I
would always try and see if Icould push myself just like a
quarter mile further.
But that quarter mile led up toa mile, and now I'm training
(26:20):
for an ultra marathon, which I'mso blessed to be able to do.
But that didn't happenovernight.
Like Nick Bear says, it'sstacking those daily habits.
And because I stack that dailyhabit of running, guess what?
I'm a runner, but I alsobelieve the fact that if you
just decide to go out and run,you're a runner too, but runner.
(26:44):
But I also believe the factthat if you just decide to go
out and run, you're a runner too.
But now, like I can say, like,hey, I'm, I'm a decent runner,
I'm okay, I can, I can maintaina good pace and and stay in the
fight for a good chunk ofmileage.
But that's only because Ishowed up and I stayed in the
fight for as long as I have, andI wish there was a faster way
to get to the goals that youhave set in front of you, to get
to that end point.
But in my experience it's notthat way.
It's very slow and steadyGetting after it.
(27:06):
This podcast is another greatexample of that.
Sometimes I'll try and pile ontoo much at once.
I won't know what to focus on,which means my work in each of
those things that I'm doing isnot going to be as great as if I
focus on one area at a time.
So, with that same structure Iapply to my running of hey, I
got to focus on mileage,nutrition and recovery.
I do the same with gettingafter it.
You know the podcast, socialmedia shirts, the website, the
(27:29):
blog, like things like that.
I try and break them down intohey, what needs my attention at
the moment and how can I give it?
My all For me that tends tolead me to do better work and
work that actually has resultson, hopefully, the people who
are listening or reading thethings that I produce.
I think patience is crucial whenyou're trying to be graceful
(27:51):
with yourself, because when Ifirst married my wife, I was
very bad at talking to myself,and what I mean by that is I was
super negative to myself.
I would beat myself up if Iwasn't able to get a certain
weight up, if I wasn't able topush myself as hard as I wanted
to on a run, like I would tellmyself the worst things, and
(28:13):
that only made my thoughtsnegative.
And this is so cliche.
But having positive thoughtsgets you a lot further than
having negative ones, Becausewhen you think about positivity,
you focus on what's going well,you live in more of a life of
abundance, and I feel like ifyou're focusing on the negative
(28:33):
all the time, that gives you ascarcity mindset, to where
you're focused on the problemrather than what you can be
doing to change the situationand my wife sat me down once and
she's like you got to be yourbiggest cheerleader.
Like that's why I talk aboutthat a lot, because it's a very
important lesson to me.
I used to hate myself with if Ilike messed up on a workout or
if I didn't do as well at workas I wanted to.
(28:54):
If I even had like a mediocrepodcast, I would beat myself up
and my wife's like I rememberher saying this she's like if
you're not going to root for you, who is like no one's going to
want to follow someone who'sjust in self pity all the time,
no one's going to take advicefrom that person.
No, you got to be your ownbiggest cheerleader and that's
(29:15):
why I'm making getting after itshirts, because I, you know, I'm
cheering myself on.
I want to see people wearing mymy shirts and, you know,
hopefully they listen to thepodcast and it's made some kind
of impact on them to where theyare a little bit more amped up
to go achieve their goals, to gochase something that they've
wanted to for a while.
But maybe I've just been alittle scared of that.
That's what I want.
(29:36):
I want a bunch of people outthere who are just animals going
after their goals, who aremaking progress in things that
they didn't think they couldbefore and who are helping
others do the same.
I want a community of peoplewho are getting after it all the
time, and the only way that'sbuilt is by cheering myself on.
(29:59):
I might sound very pridefulright now, but you know what?
That's what I believe.
I got to cheer myself on,because there's days when people
don't they don't even listen tothe podcast.
Or there's days when you know Iexplain what getting after it
is to someone and they're likeokay, that's great.
(30:19):
There's plenty of other thingsout there that already do that
and it's like yes, I know, but Iwant this to be a specific
community of people who don'tstop, who commit to their goals,
who adapt when things go wrong,who help others along the way
to stay motivated, to keep going, and I want to be able to
highlight people when they win,like.
That's why I love having otherpeople on this podcast to talk
(30:41):
to them about their goals andwhat they've done, because it's
awesome to hear them talk aboutwhat has caused them to grow,
what has made them the personthat they are, and I hope to
continue to bring on guests likethat who are able to share
their stories.
But what's interesting aboutevery single person I've brought
(31:04):
on is they've all told a storyabout how they once recognized
that they needed to adjust theirgoals, that they weren't going
to be able to do it exactly howthey expected it to go, and you
know what Every single personwho has said something like that
has said that it's had apositive impact on them in some
degree.
(31:26):
Like, I think, of MichaelWhitaker, who he tore his PCL
when he was going to go tonationals and he still competed.
But he said during that time,you know, he pushed himself and
he learned a lot about himselfthat he would not have if he
decided to drop out for theseason.
Or, um, I just had on dylanshirts, who's a discus thrower,
and he talked about how he, youknow, got injured once and he
(31:49):
had to sit on the sidelines fora while and he still did all he
could to to remain dedicated toa sport, but he learned he had
to make some adjustments to histhrows and all these different
things.
And of Drew who, my brother,who runs now and has this
amazing transformation storyfrom when he was 265 pounds to
now he's 203.
But he's definitely texted meand he's definitely called me
(32:12):
and had days where he's like youknow what I feel?
Like a loser, like exactly whatI talked about today with him
saying you know, I missed threedays of my workout program.
I kind of feel like I'm fallingbehind when in reality, he's
made so much progress over thepast two years that no one would
look at that guy and say, hey,that guy's falling behind.
(32:33):
So learn to be graceful withyourself.
Don't beat yourself up anymore.
You should be your own biggestcheerleader, especially on times
when you need grace, becauseeveryone falters, everyone falls
down, stumbles, but you have tolearn to get back up and keep
that momentum going forward.
That is what's going to get youthat long-term goal.
It's going to get you to whereyou want to go.
(32:54):
It's consistency coupled withbeing graceful, being
disciplined and just not stop.
Wow, guys, I am sorry I'mreally having a hard time with
words today, but it's notstopping on your goals.
It's making progress every day,even if it's minute, you just
(33:15):
keep on going.
So here's the takeaway I wantyou to have Grace fuels
discipline.
It's not an excuse to you know.
Slack off, it's the thing thatkeeps you from going.
It's the thing that keeps youwhen you're aiming for
perfection but don't reach thatlevel.
Perfection sometimes breakspeople.
(33:39):
Aiming for perfection can leadto stalled results.
So be patient with yourself.
Reframe your setbacks aslessons, just like Michael
Jordan.
Build a structure that makesdiscipline sustainable.
And, most of all, don't youever stop moving forward, no
matter how small the step is.
So this week, if you fall shorton some kind of goal, practice
(34:04):
grace instead of guilt and shame.
Then just keep moving forward.
Learn to get better.
So it's all about guys.
We're all striving to be alittle bit better every single
day and, like I said, I don'tthink it's a linear line.
I think it's more jagged likethe stock market, but as long
think it's a linear line.
I think it's more jagged likethe stock market, but as long as
it's continuing to go up,you're making progress.
(34:25):
That's why you should makegoals.
That's why you should trackthem and look at them every now
and then and see where you're at, see if you're making progress
or if you need to make someadjustments to get there.
I appreciate you guys forlistening.
I hope you guys can be a littlebit nicer to yourselves,
(34:47):
because I know it's a big issue,especially a big issue that
athletes face um and just learnthat.
Hey, you know what we're allhuman beings.
We can't all strive forperfection all the time, because
it's not realistic.
So keep that momentum going.
Thank you for listening.
My, my friends and, uh, asalways, keep getting after it.
Thanks, guys.
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