September 8, 2025 • 33 mins
This episode is about three lessons I’ve learned from past guests.
The first is resilience. Dave Daly broke his neck and had to relearn how to live. His story reminded me what it really means to keep going, even when life feels impossible.
The second is reinvention. My brother Blake lost his business and struggled with who he was. He tried different things until he found roping, and it brought him back to life. His story made me think about the times I’ve had to change who I was too.
The third is balance. Jared Lee talked about feeding not just the mind and body, but the heart. That stuck with me. Growth isn’t complete if we leave one part out.
I also share my own struggles — with infertility, with learning to be a better husband, and with putting too much focus on fitness in the past. These lessons aren’t abstract. They’re lived.
And maybe they can help you too.
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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.
Getting After It is for those who. want to silence their self-doubt. Refuse to be owned by comfort. Understand their limits are man-made and breakable. We live in a time of constant comparison. Social media drowns us in highlight reels and overnight success stories. But what most people don’t see is the grit behind it all. The reps. The quiet mornings. The sacrifices. The failures.
You are just getting started. Keep Getting After It.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
What is going on.
My friends, welcome back toanother episode of Getting After
it.
Thanks for tuning in.
Today's topic is going to be ahard hitter.
I've been thinking a lot aboutyou know what I talk about in
the podcast and I feel likethere's some lessons that are
missed in the conversations Ihave with some other people.
Like for me, those are superfun to sit down and just have a
(00:23):
conversation with them, and thattypically takes an hour.
Sometimes it goes an hour and ahalf.
I think I've hit two hoursbefore and within that timeframe
, like there's a lot that youcan miss.
Even myself, like I have to goback and continually either
listen to them, read thetranscripts or when I'm editing
clips, I'll find something thatstands out and that I want to
talk about.
Editing clips, I'll findsomething that stands out and
(00:47):
that I want to talk about, andthat's where the idea for
today's episode really came fromis I wanted to have an
opportunity to do some own myown self reflection about the
lessons that I've learned fromdoing this podcast, and that's
what's been really cool about itis there's been numerous
(01:07):
lessons that I've learned.
Today I want to focus on three,three very important ones that
were kind of a while ago Iwouldn't say too long ago but
the first being that resilienceis crucial for long-term success
.
The second one is theimportance of reinventing
(01:27):
yourself in times where you haveto do that.
And, third, why you need tofeed your heart or your soul,
whatever you want to call that.
I'll break down a couple of thelessons just from different
guests that I've had, but I wantto start off just by saying how
cool it is that I have thisopportunity, and I recognize
(01:48):
that it is rare for people to bein the situation I'm in to,
where they're able to talk topeople in long form conversation
and be able to have thatopportunity to chat with them,
to talk with them and reallyunderstand how they look at
things and what theirperspectives are.
That's one area that I believewe can learn from pretty
(02:10):
significantly from others is howthey view the world, what their
perspective is like, and that'swhere I want to go for today.
So these lessons that I'm goingto bring out, they aren't
theoretical, they are lived byeach of these individuals we're
going to be discussing.
They are hard-earned lessonsand when I think about my own
(02:30):
journey as a husband, as arunner, as someone who chases
his own personal growth.
They're the ones I keep comingback to and that's how I want to
take this.
So let's start with the lessonone resilience in the face of
adversity.
Because this is something Ibelieve many of us, myself
(02:51):
included, struggle with.
How do you be resilient whenall you see in front of you are
challenges, you see adversity,you see trials, and during that
time, you know it's also verydifficult to keep a positive
attitude.
The story of Dave Daly If youhaven't listened to that episode
, I would highly recommend it.
But that one really stands outto me about resilience.
(03:12):
Like, when I think aboutsomeone who's resilient, I think
of Dave Daly, if you haven'theard that episode.
Basically, dave, he broke hisneck in a boogie boarding
accident.
He was on a wave, it crashed,Something happened with his
board and he just went straightinto the ground and I don't
(03:33):
actually think he did a completebreak of his neck, but he
basically now his spinal cordoperates through a very small
hole.
You know ours is.
I don't know how big, but I'mgoing to give a reference here
on the video, if you're watching.
And this is this is, you know, anormal brainstem.
His is very narrow, um, butit's because of the trauma that
(03:54):
he faced.
And so in an instant his lifechanged and he talks about how
he was in the water and hethought it was going to be his
last moment, because he couldn'tmove, his body was not letting
him move.
He went to go move his legs andthey just wouldn't.
Same with his arms, same likehe couldn't turn around.
So he was face down in thewater and luckily his son-in-law
came and grabbed him and tookhim to the shore.
(04:17):
But what struck me wasn't justthe scale of the injury.
Like that alone is something Ican't really comprehend and I I
really admire anyone who hassomething like that happen to
them, because it's a completelife, life shift.
You have to relearn how to doeverything and Dave had to face
that head on.
(04:37):
He had to relearn basic tasks.
You know how to move his legs,how to eat, how to reclaim his
life again.
And he talked about, when he wasin therapy for this, that he
always tried to keep a positivemindset.
He said there were very fewdays where he broke down, which
to me is astounding, because ifI was in that situation I think
(04:59):
it would be a different story.
I would struggle with that.
I talk about how much I loverunning and I love being active,
and having that taken away fromyou that quickly, like like
Dave did, and still being ableto have a positive attitude, is
mind blowing to me.
Really an amazing story.
He focused on the small dailywins during that time and
(05:21):
instead of staring at themassive mountain ahead of him,
you know having to relearn allthese things.
He took it day by day andthat's what I think is really
impactful from his story,because even when things were as
dark as they were and as theypossibly could be for Dave, he
didn't lose that spark, hedidn't lose that hope, he didn't
(05:41):
lose that sight of what hewanted his life to eventually
become.
Um, you know he's an amazingexample of this and now he can
walk.
Um.
You know he obviously has somelimitations, but hearing Dave's
story really shifted somethingfor me because suddenly my
(06:02):
struggles, my challenges werenot as severe as his, and you
know that could be if you'repushing through the last few
miles in a race which isdifficult.
In my sales job I facerejection on a daily basis and,
um, even my own silent struggleof infertility like these all
feel very small in comparison towhat dave had to go through.
(06:23):
Like these all feel very smallin comparison to what Dave had
to go through, not insignificant, but reframed in my own opinion
, I now look at them as, yes,they are difficult to go through
, they are trials, they arechallenges, but at the end of
the day, it puts it intoperspective that, hey, I'm still
strong and healthy and Dave isone of the most strongest human
(06:45):
beings I've met mentally.
Like I cannot comprehend to youguys what it was like talking to
him, because the whole time wediscussed his injury, we
discussed his recovery process,it was like he was telling a
story and you know, I've seenpeople who go through difficult
(07:07):
things.
They cry when they tell.
It was like he was telling astory.
I've seen people who go throughdifficult things.
They cry when they tell stories.
He did tear up a couple timesbut he was so strong and he
still is so strong.
That's why he is such a greatexample to me for just moving
forward, for being resilient,and now I take that into.
I mentioned, you know,infertility, how that's just
such a difficult thing for me tomanage.
(07:30):
But with that thought of Davein mind, like, okay, well, he
kept going when everythinglooked so dark.
How can I apply that to my life?
And for me that looks like, youknow, making sure I'm getting
my blood drawn so the doctorscan check it out, see how things
are responding, tryingdifferent treatments, trying
different dosages of treatmentsand acting as a guinea pig
myself, always schedulingappointments, being proactive
(07:52):
about it, trying to have ahealthy lifestyle, everything
about it.
That goes into trying to figureout some answers for our
infertility that we're goingthrough, and it doesn't make it
any less easy, but it makes itmanageable.
And what I mean by that is, ifyou're taking small steps
forward, you're not stuck.
And I, in my experience, thetimes when I am facing a
(08:15):
challenge and I don't doanything, in that moment I don't
make any progress forward.
That's when it gets verydifficult.
And I've also faced depression.
Depression takes away all yourambition, all your motivation to
do anything, and it's reallyhard because when you're
depressed you don't want to move, you don't want to do anything,
but you have to take stepsforward, just like with
(08:36):
infertility, just like withDave's example, just like with
your own training or yourday-to-day life.
Like life is difficult, likethis, reframing doesn't make the
struggle disappear, butresilience at its core is moving
through difficulty, and it'sabout facing that difficulty,
(08:58):
telling yourself that this isnot the end and understanding
what you can be doing next toget you one step closer to
whatever goal that is that youwant, um.
So that's a very importantthing to remember and I, I love
this, this quote, um, it tiesinto resilience very well, but
(09:20):
it's run when you can walk, whenyou have to crawl, when you
must just never give up, andthat's resilience in its purest
form, and that's what Dave'sgift to me was that day, and I
hope you too Like.
If someone like Dave, who canface a life-changing injury, can
make the most of everyday lifeand still find joy in the
(09:42):
journey, even when he'srecovering, then you can too,
and so can I, like.
All of us can do that.
It's such a good example tolook to, and just that's why I
think it's important to go backand at least for me to listen to
the podcast again so I can hearthese stories, because
resilience is something that Ithink any successful human being
(10:03):
has.
Like.
You have to learn to beresilient in your job and your
family and your fitness goals,your own personal goals.
Resilience is always aboutcoming back and facing whatever
is in front of you with strength.
So on to lesson number two, andthis is about identity and
reinvention of yourself, whichis an interesting concept on its
own.
I believe humans are made toprogress, right.
That's what this whole podcastis about identity and
(10:23):
reinvention of yourself, whichis an interesting concept and
it's on its own, like I believehumans are made to progress,
right, like that's what thiswhole podcast is about.
So throughout our lives, we'regoing to be reinventing
ourselves quite a bit.
You know, we're going to learnor we're going to like think
that we might have some habitsthat we could trim up, get rid
of, and when we do that, we putourselves in a position to let
(10:44):
in other sources of we try andlet in other options for us to
try in our lives, like if it'shey, I have this habit where I
bite my nails and it's like,okay, well, maybe you need to
set some things up, but anyways,reinvention is a common
occurrence in all of our lives.
Like for me, being married, Ihad to reinvent myself, which
(11:05):
we'll talk about that in asecond, because this story is
about my brother Blake, and Ilove my brother Blake.
He is an amazing example to meof someone who, yes, he's
resilient as well, but he knowshow to push himself.
He is a hard worker and Ireally saw that firsthand when
(11:26):
we started Swallow.
Oh man, uh, real quick, I'mdrinking a diet Pepsi today.
All you in the comments saying,hey, that's disgusting, you
should be drinking Coke.
Well, real men drink Pepsi.
Just saying, going back to thestory of my brother, blake,
actually Blake got me into Pepsinow that I think about it,
(11:47):
because I remember him alwaysordering it and I was like, dang
, he's cool, he's drinking Pepsi.
So that's where it came from, Iguess.
Thanks, blake, for my addiction.
And it was a journey, like itwas hard, but it was so much fun
in the beginning and, um, all Imean all the way through it was
(12:08):
a lot of fun.
But Blake and I would spendhours at the office and
sometimes we'd pull all nighters.
Sometimes, you know, we'd getthere at six in the morning and
leave at 8 PM.
Um, we were putting in long,long hours.
We invested so much of our timein this business, blake mainly
being the main driver of that.
Like he did everything.
He built it from the ground up,hired everybody, had the
(12:32):
strategy of the business inplace, like he was the driver of
the business and it was hisbaby.
It really was and it wasamazing to watch his focus, his
ambition, all come into play inthis and see what he was able to
do with starting an agency andhiring a team to do it.
(12:55):
When Swallow ended, I watchedhim and really I don't want to
call him out too much, but I sawhim crumble a bit.
He lost a part of himself thatI think is really hard to get
back.
I feel like because of thebusiness closing he lost a lot
of confidence.
He came on the podcast and hetalked about how difficult it
(13:18):
was for himself and how duringthat time he felt like he lost
his identity.
So he tried so many differentthings.
He would mountain bike, hewould go surfing, he would go
camping, like tried doing somuch just to fill that void.
He was searching for somethingand then he found roping four
years later and I remember whenhe first started roping years
(13:43):
later and I remember when hefirst started roping uh, our
family, my mom's side there werea bunch of ranchers.
So growing up there'd be lotsof rodeos my mom's side would be
attending and they'd always beon horses and everything.
And Blake grew up with horses.
He trained them in high schooland, um, he had a love for these
animals, but I don't think heever thought of it as like a
(14:04):
profession or a job.
And it was interesting becauseI watched him like, as soon as
he's like, oh, I'm going to takeroping lessons.
It was funny because he'd sendour group message, like him just
standing there like trying torope a dummy steer, and he's
always like I just want to goride the horse and rope.
And what was cool about thatwhole experience is he found
(14:25):
something to lose himself inagain.
And it wasn't an easy thing.
Roping is not easy Like youhave to.
You're on a horse and you'retrying to rope a steer on the
ground which is moving.
It's going its own way.
You have to control the horse,while controlling your arm and
being all cohesive with themotion that you're doing, to try
and rope that thing right.
So it's very difficult.
(14:46):
But what struck me about hiswhole search is that he never
gave up.
Blake was always experimentingwith things and he was trying to
not let failure define him,which he showed himself that
that is the case.
Failure does not define whoBlake Rossel is.
He realized that a chapter hadclosed in his book but life had
(15:09):
given him the pen to startwriting a new one and it was
just a chance for him to startsomething new.
And reinvention is notsomething that's easy.
It often comes with fear.
It strikes whenever you leastexpect it and I've had my own
versions, you know, shiftingfrom marketing to sales,
evolving this podcast to be alittle bit more sharper and more
(15:30):
relevant to the audience, evenlearning to train differently
for ultras versus a sub threemarathon.
But personally, my biggestreinvention came when I was
married.
Before I married Ali, I thoughtbeing a good husband would come
pretty naturally to me and Ithink for the most part it did.
I think I'm a good man.
(15:50):
I try and be there for Allieanytime I can and with anything
that she needs.
But I quickly realized I hadwalls up.
I was emotionally closed offand I was nervous about letting
her fully into my life.
Like that's a scary thing forme.
Who's always?
I've been more reserved myentire life.
I haven't really had the chanceto open up and it gets.
It takes a lot from me to openup to someone else.
(16:14):
Like I have to have a lot oftrust there, not saying I didn't
trust Allie Of course I did.
But I've opened up to Alliethat, sorry mom, I haven't
opened up to my parents about.
And it's not because, you know,I don't love my parents just as
much as I love Allie, but it'sbecause I'm with her all the
time and I'm trying to build ourlife together and she's doing
the same.
(16:34):
But that requires you having tobe emotionally available, and
I'm a man, so you know menaren't the best at expressing
emotions.
No, I was going to say that'skind of a generalization, but I
think that's pretty true.
Men aren't the best atexpressing emotions, myself
(16:55):
included in that.
And so I realized that, inorder to be the best husband
that I could, I was going tohave to make some changes in my
life.
That was going to mean tearingsome walls down which scared me.
I had to open myself up to herand share what was in my mind,
in my heart in its purest form.
(17:20):
And in that vulnerability ourmarriage has flourished, oddly
enough, of course, likereinvention requires some kind
of sacrifice.
Right, You're giving up an oldpart of yourself to become
something greater, to becomesomething new, and in that
little timeframe between whenyou give up the thing that is
holding you back to the thingthat you want to become.
There's a lot of mental talkthat you're going to go through.
(17:44):
You're going to tell yourselfso much that whatever you're
holding onto over here is somuch better than what you could
potentially have over here.
But it's not until you actuallylet that go and you try and
experiment what that's like withthis new thing that you want to
add to your life.
You have to try it out.
You have to actually sit downand say, okay, well, how can I
(18:05):
reinvent this, whatever it is?
But you always fear what you'lllose in those moments, and for
me it was solitude.
I love being alone.
I think that's one of thereasons I love trail running so
much, and I've always lovedthose long stretches of time
where I just had to myself,where I could read, I could
write, I could work on thingsand sometimes I'd play video
(18:27):
games, like just completely vegout.
But I worried that marriagemeant giving that up and in some
ways I did.
I did give up a lot of my ownpersonal time and my own free
time for myself, but I gainedsomething infinitely better and
that's companionship, like, evenin the silence, like just
(18:48):
sitting side by side, we're onthe couch, I'm reading a book
and Allie's writing a podcast,or vice versa, like Allie is
richer than solitude ever was,and so it only comes from that
experience.
Like you have to try it out,give up that thing that you
(19:10):
think you want so bad forsomething that's greater.
And the first few days, firstfew weeks, months, maybe, might
be difficult, but eventuallywhat you had over here that you
thought was so great pales incomparison to what you now
gained, and for me,companionship was that.
So, man, I'm sorry Words, whatwould I tell someone who's stuck
(19:36):
in an old identity?
I would tell them to startsmall.
Start very, very small, towhere it's comprehensible in
your mind, to where it's not toooverwhelming, and then try
something new for three to fivedays, commit to those days, see
how it feels and then, if thatdoesn't work, break it down into
smaller pieces.
If you have to change does nothappen overnight, but it doesn't
(20:01):
.
It also doesn't happen if younever begin.
So you have to decide what youwant, and my own experience has
always taught me that holdingonto this old version of myself
is not worth whatever potentialcould be risen to, and I'll give
(20:22):
another example here.
So running is a sometimes it's avery egotistical sport, meaning
I don't want people to thinkI'm slow, which is so stupid.
I qualified for Boston.
That's obviously not slow, andthen that might sound really
confident and cocky.
But I mean data's, data, um.
But with that in mind, likeI've been training for an ultra
(20:47):
marathon and I can't expectmyself to go out on the trails
and run sub seven minute mileswhen I'm doing 3000 feet
elevation gain over 15 miles,that's just.
That doesn't make sense.
That's not going to happen.
I'm not at that level and I'mnot sure if anyone is.
If they are, I want to knowabout them, because that's
insane.
Um, but anyways, I have thisgoal of running an ultra
(21:10):
marathon and old me is trying tohold on to the fact that I can
run fast, right, that I can havethese quick paces, that I
qualified for Boston.
But if I want to be a greatultra runner, I have to
recognize that I need to slowdown in order to get all the
mileage in, because if I don't,I'm going to burn out and I'm
going to hate my life, and I'vebeen trying to slowly do that.
I'm not great at it yet.
But I have a 20 mile runtomorrow and my goal is to
(21:35):
finish.
And I told Allie, I don't careif that means I'm walking half
of it, I'm going to finish the20 miles in the mountains.
And so that's just a quickexample.
But like I wanted to hold on tothis fact that I'm fast so bad,
and in doing so it it actuallywas a deterrent for me being
successful on the trails.
So think about things in yourlife like that.
(21:56):
That's what I mean byreinventing yourself.
And so right now I'mreinventing myself as an ultra
runner.
I'm not going after a sub threemarathon, I'm not doing any of
that stuff.
I'm just trying to get thedistance in.
I'm trying to be the best I canin the mountains.
With that, let's move on intolesson number three feeding the
mind, body and the heart.
And this is from Jared Lee, mybuddy from work.
(22:16):
But he came on the podcast andI had one of the most
thought-provoking conversationsI've had on getting after to
this day, because he introducedme to an idea I'd never really
heard before, and it's feedingthe heart.
He found that from CS Lewis,who talks about feeding the
heart.
But what does that mean?
(22:37):
Well, obviously, we know how tofeed the body.
That's, you know you giveyourself some good food, you
exercise, you rest, you'retaking care of yourself For the
mind, you know you're listeningto podcasts, you're reading
books, you study something,you're trying to keep your mind
fresh and active.
But the heart is very different.
(22:57):
That's something likecompassion, a higher purpose
serving others.
That's something likecompassion, a higher purpose
serving others, and it's oftenthe part that we neglect as
human beings, because it's theeasiest to nowadays Like we
don't.
Really all you're doing is letme back up.
Really, what most people aredoing is going to work every day
(23:17):
, coming home, spending timewith family, eating, going to
bed right, and I do that a lot.
I fall into that window.
What is that?
I fall into that bucket quite abit of someone who just tries
to feed the brain and the body.
Wow, I'm having a hard time withwords again, but the heart is
(23:38):
also something that's veryimportant.
So how do we do that?
Well, when Jared startedtalking about it, it kind of
clicked for me, because growthisn't just one dimensional.
If you can only feed your body,you become physically strong,
but empty.
If you only feed your mind, youbecome sharp but disconnected,
like you're not going to havegreat relationships.
(23:59):
But to live fully, I've come tounderstand that you have to
live all three and in my ownlife I broke down a couple
things that might be some goodexamples for you.
But I try to do this daily.
So for the mind, I readsomething every day, like that
could be a book, an article oranything that I think would
sharpen me.
I try and read something Forthe body.
I train super hard.
(24:20):
I eat whole foods, I try to andI try to avoid ultra-processed
foods, but, as we all know,banana Twinkies are freaking
delicious.
So is my diet, pepsi sittingright next to me.
So I try to be good where I can.
But the heart it's been aninteresting discovery for myself
(24:41):
Because spending time withAllie, that companionship, feeds
my soul.
I pray, I study scripture and Itry and serve where I can.
I try and be there for myfriends.
I try and be there for myfamily.
If there's someone who needshelp at work or if I see them at
the store, whatever thesituation might be, I try and
step in and serve, not out ofsome hey, look at me, I'm
(25:03):
greater than you, kind of thing,but honestly it's selfish
because I feel like the morethat I help other people, the
better I feel myself.
I have just a better demeanorand it's interesting.
But praying also is somethingthat has been monumental in my
own personal growth.
(25:24):
Because when you think aboutprayer yes, obviously it's a
time for you to connect with God.
If you believe in prayer, ifyou believe that that's what it
does for me, that's exactly whatit is it's time for me to have
a conversation with God to tellhim how I'm feeling and really
think about what's bothering me.
(25:45):
And like when I go and I prayand I'm praying about
infertility, I will sit thereand think about what in the
situation I need help with andthen I'll ask God.
But that does two things for me.
One, it feels like God and Iare on the same team.
He's got my back.
I'm trying to ask him for somethings and I know that it's a
(26:06):
good desire, so I'm praying forblessings to come through that
faith Scripture's.
The same way, I've also noticedthat when I pray, a lot of my
questions that I have that I goto God for, can be answered in
Scripture.
The importance of prayer for meis when I pray.
That's top of mind.
Then when I go and I studyScripture, I will notice things
(26:29):
that I didn't before, becausethose things are more relevant,
right?
So if I'm thinking aboutinfertility and thinking about
the struggle that I'm goingthrough with Allie, then, by the
way, allie doesn't haveinfertility, it's me.
That's a common misconception.
It's always the women peopleblame.
But nope, this one is me.
I got no sperm guys Pretty cool.
Me.
(26:52):
I got no sperm guys Pretty cool.
And in that time, like I will goto the scriptures and I'll
learn.
You know how certain peoplepush through difficult times, or
like Moses, whatever, if it'sthe Bible, if it's the book of
Mormon, anything of scripture,and um, I also just feel like it
makes me a better person.
And I know it might sound weirdif you don't believe this stuff
, but I would tell you to try it.
Uh, because there's a lot ofpower that can be taken from,
(27:17):
taken from God.
That's when you take his power,but you can accept him into
your life and he will help you.
And I'll be honest, I've gottenit wrong many times before,
like with this whole balancingthese three things.
Like a few years ago, when I wasin college, I was so obsessed
with my fitness.
You know I'd track every singlegram of food.
(27:37):
I would be so focused on everyrep in the gym.
My body was so strong at thattime but I didn't really have
relationships.
I wasn't really good friendswith anyone in college.
My mind suffered because when Iwas working this is so stupid
(27:58):
when I was working on my studies, I'd always have like YouTube
videos of bodybuilders in thebackground.
I know it sounds kind of Ididn't want to say that, but it
sounds kind of gay, to be honest, it's.
I promise it's not one's kindof gay, to be honest, it's.
I promise it's not, um, dang it, I might have to edit that part
out anyways.
So my mind was so focused onfitness that I was neglecting
(28:20):
other areas of my life and itwas pretty clear to me because
those things, like myrelationships, my brain, they
all suffered because I wasn'tpaying so much attention to them
.
And, um, during that time I wasI still believe her in God like
still believer in Christ.
But was I doing anything toemulate that?
No, because I was very focusedon myself during that time.
(28:41):
I was very selfish and that'swhat I realized is, you know,
that lesson taught me that inthose times when you have
certain goals that you want topursue or you're trying to do
certain things that you thinkwill make you a better person
and a lot of the times they dobut it can become so narrowed on
yourself that you lose sight ofother people, you lose sight of
your goals.
(29:01):
So it's a dangerous line to totow.
And balance isn't about rigidequality in all these aspects.
And that's one interestingthing about the word balance.
You know people say like, oh,you need to be balanced in your
life.
I don't think that's true.
I think there's going to betimes in your life when you're
(29:22):
focused more on your work thanyour family.
You're focused more on yourfamily than work.
You're focused more on yourfaith than work.
Like, focused more on yourfaith than work, like, whatever
it is, things are going to comeup, they're going to take
priorities, and that's what'simportant is having a clear
understanding of your priorities, and so I would say balance is
shifting attention to where it'sneeded while still keeping the
(29:44):
other areas alive.
Like you still have to put woodon that fire to keep it alive,
and then you know you could justthrow a couple of sticks on
there sometimes, or you couldtoss a massive log on there, but
whatever it is, as long asyou're keeping that that flame
going, it's burning then youwill make progress in those
areas and it might look small insome times of your life and
(30:06):
larger in others, but it's aboutmanaging them and keeping them
a daily practice, even if it's asmall thing that you do.
Here's what I would tell you.
If you wanted to understandkind of how you think and what
the you know where you're atwith your mind, your body and
your heart is, I would sayjournal about your priorities.
(30:27):
You don't have to actuallywrite it down if that's too hard
for you or like you don't liketo write, I would tell yourself
to record yourself and just theprompt should be what are my
priorities, what's important tome, and then once you identify
those, you can break them downinto daily actions, like for
your mind, your body and yourheart, because in my experience,
(30:48):
clarity brings alignment andalignment brings growth.
It's just understanding what'simportant to you and I feel like
a lot of the times we feeloverwhelmed with all the things
that we have to do, when inreality all we need to do is
take a step back and think aboutwhere we're at in each of those
areas and if there's anythingthat we could do to improve.
It shouldn't be a scary thing.
(31:08):
It should be an exciting thing.
Three lessons from the podcastthat have really shaped me were
these that we've talked abouttoday Resilience in the face of
adversity, you keep hope and younever stop moving.
Identity and reinvention.
Closed chapters are not the end.
(31:30):
They're a chance to begin again, feeding the mind, body and
heart.
Growth is holistic and notone-dimensional.
These are all reminders that Icarry daily with me now, which
I'm very blessed to be able tosay I can do that and that I've
had these conversations on thepodcast.
Maybe the next time you face asetback or you feel stuck or you
(31:52):
wonder why you're off balance,maybe one of these lessons will
be there for you too.
Life is interesting.
It changes all the time.
You have to learn how to adapt,which I think is why resilience
is important.
You have to learn how to getrid of old habits and start new
ones, and you have toconsistently feed those three
(32:15):
parts of who you are, becausethat will make you become a
better person and that will helpyou grow.
I know it can happen to you.
It's happened to all thesepeople who have shared this on
the podcast.
It's happened to me.
It's happened to many otherpeople out there.
I don't know if they listen tothis, but I know these lessons
can be applied to your life andhelp you change.
It's not something I'm justsaying to put words in the air.
(32:38):
This is real stuff.
These are people's experiencesthat they shared on this podcast
to help people like you whomight be going through something
similar, who might face somesimilar situation in the future,
whatever it is.
They apply to everyone,including me and including you.
So I hope these three lessonswere helpful to some degree for
(33:01):
you and I appreciate you guysfor listening.
It always means a lot to methat you guys tune in and listen
to the show.
It's not easy to do.
Sometimes it requires a lot oftime and energy, but it's worth
it to me that you guys tune inand listen to the show.
It's not easy to do.
Sometimes it requires a lot oftime and energy, but it's worth
it to me, like if I can helppeople continue on their own
progression path and make somestrides that they didn't think
(33:21):
that they could, then this is asuccessful podcast for me and
I'm proud to be the host of theshow.
So thank you guys for listening.
If it helped at all, pleaseleave a rating or a comment,
whatever.
I love hearing from you guysand until next episode,
everybody, keep your heads highand keep getting after it.
What is going on.
My friends, welcome back toanother episode of Getting After
it.
Thanks for tuning in.
Today's topic is going to be ahard hitter.
I've been thinking a lot aboutyou know what I talk about in
the podcast and I feel likethere's some lessons that are
missed in the conversations Ihave with some other people.
Like for me, those are superfun to sit down and just have a
(00:23):
conversation with them, and thattypically takes an hour.
Sometimes it goes an hour and ahalf.
I think I've hit two hoursbefore and within that timeframe
, like there's a lot that youcan miss.
Even myself, like I have to goback and continually either
listen to them, read thetranscripts or when I'm editing
clips, I'll find something thatstands out and that I want to
talk about.
Editing clips, I'll findsomething that stands out and
(00:47):
that I want to talk about, andthat's where the idea for
today's episode really came fromis I wanted to have an
opportunity to do some own myown self reflection about the
lessons that I've learned fromdoing this podcast, and that's
what's been really cool about itis there's been numerous
(01:07):
lessons that I've learned.
Today I want to focus on three,three very important ones that
were kind of a while ago Iwouldn't say too long ago but
the first being that resilienceis crucial for long-term success
.
The second one is theimportance of reinventing
(01:27):
yourself in times where you haveto do that.
And, third, why you need tofeed your heart or your soul,
whatever you want to call that.
I'll break down a couple of thelessons just from different
guests that I've had, but I wantto start off just by saying how
cool it is that I have thisopportunity, and I recognize
(01:48):
that it is rare for people to bein the situation I'm in to,
where they're able to talk topeople in long form conversation
and be able to have thatopportunity to chat with them,
to talk with them and reallyunderstand how they look at
things and what theirperspectives are.
That's one area that I believewe can learn from pretty
(02:10):
significantly from others is howthey view the world, what their
perspective is like, and that'swhere I want to go for today.
So these lessons that I'm goingto bring out, they aren't
theoretical, they are lived byeach of these individuals we're
going to be discussing.
They are hard-earned lessonsand when I think about my own
(02:30):
journey as a husband, as arunner, as someone who chases
his own personal growth.
They're the ones I keep comingback to and that's how I want to
take this.
So let's start with the lessonone resilience in the face of
adversity.
Because this is something Ibelieve many of us, myself
(02:51):
included, struggle with.
How do you be resilient whenall you see in front of you are
challenges, you see adversity,you see trials, and during that
time, you know it's also verydifficult to keep a positive
attitude.
The story of Dave Daly If youhaven't listened to that episode
, I would highly recommend it.
But that one really stands outto me about resilience.
(03:12):
Like, when I think aboutsomeone who's resilient, I think
of Dave Daly, if you haven'theard that episode.
Basically, dave, he broke hisneck in a boogie boarding
accident.
He was on a wave, it crashed,Something happened with his
board and he just went straightinto the ground and I don't
(03:33):
actually think he did a completebreak of his neck, but he
basically now his spinal cordoperates through a very small
hole.
You know ours is.
I don't know how big, but I'mgoing to give a reference here
on the video, if you're watching.
And this is this is, you know, anormal brainstem.
His is very narrow, um, butit's because of the trauma that
(03:54):
he faced.
And so in an instant his lifechanged and he talks about how
he was in the water and hethought it was going to be his
last moment, because he couldn'tmove, his body was not letting
him move.
He went to go move his legs andthey just wouldn't.
Same with his arms, same likehe couldn't turn around.
So he was face down in thewater and luckily his son-in-law
came and grabbed him and tookhim to the shore.
(04:17):
But what struck me wasn't justthe scale of the injury.
Like that alone is something Ican't really comprehend and I I
really admire anyone who hassomething like that happen to
them, because it's a completelife, life shift.
You have to relearn how to doeverything and Dave had to face
that head on.
(04:37):
He had to relearn basic tasks.
You know how to move his legs,how to eat, how to reclaim his
life again.
And he talked about, when he wasin therapy for this, that he
always tried to keep a positivemindset.
He said there were very fewdays where he broke down, which
to me is astounding, because ifI was in that situation I think
(04:59):
it would be a different story.
I would struggle with that.
I talk about how much I loverunning and I love being active,
and having that taken away fromyou that quickly, like like
Dave did, and still being ableto have a positive attitude, is
mind blowing to me.
Really an amazing story.
He focused on the small dailywins during that time and
(05:21):
instead of staring at themassive mountain ahead of him,
you know having to relearn allthese things.
He took it day by day andthat's what I think is really
impactful from his story,because even when things were as
dark as they were and as theypossibly could be for Dave, he
didn't lose that spark, hedidn't lose that hope, he didn't
(05:41):
lose that sight of what hewanted his life to eventually
become.
Um, you know he's an amazingexample of this and now he can
walk.
Um.
You know he obviously has somelimitations, but hearing Dave's
story really shifted somethingfor me because suddenly my
(06:02):
struggles, my challenges werenot as severe as his, and you
know that could be if you'repushing through the last few
miles in a race which isdifficult.
In my sales job I facerejection on a daily basis and,
um, even my own silent struggleof infertility like these all
feel very small in comparison towhat dave had to go through.
(06:23):
Like these all feel very smallin comparison to what Dave had
to go through, not insignificant, but reframed in my own opinion
, I now look at them as, yes,they are difficult to go through
, they are trials, they arechallenges, but at the end of
the day, it puts it intoperspective that, hey, I'm still
strong and healthy and Dave isone of the most strongest human
(06:45):
beings I've met mentally.
Like I cannot comprehend to youguys what it was like talking to
him, because the whole time wediscussed his injury, we
discussed his recovery process,it was like he was telling a
story and you know, I've seenpeople who go through difficult
(07:07):
things.
They cry when they tell.
It was like he was telling astory.
I've seen people who go throughdifficult things.
They cry when they tell stories.
He did tear up a couple timesbut he was so strong and he
still is so strong.
That's why he is such a greatexample to me for just moving
forward, for being resilient,and now I take that into.
I mentioned, you know,infertility, how that's just
such a difficult thing for me tomanage.
(07:30):
But with that thought of Davein mind, like, okay, well, he
kept going when everythinglooked so dark.
How can I apply that to my life?
And for me that looks like, youknow, making sure I'm getting
my blood drawn so the doctorscan check it out, see how things
are responding, tryingdifferent treatments, trying
different dosages of treatmentsand acting as a guinea pig
myself, always schedulingappointments, being proactive
(07:52):
about it, trying to have ahealthy lifestyle, everything
about it.
That goes into trying to figureout some answers for our
infertility that we're goingthrough, and it doesn't make it
any less easy, but it makes itmanageable.
And what I mean by that is, ifyou're taking small steps
forward, you're not stuck.
And I, in my experience, thetimes when I am facing a
(08:15):
challenge and I don't doanything, in that moment I don't
make any progress forward.
That's when it gets verydifficult.
And I've also faced depression.
Depression takes away all yourambition, all your motivation to
do anything, and it's reallyhard because when you're
depressed you don't want to move, you don't want to do anything,
but you have to take stepsforward, just like with
(08:36):
infertility, just like withDave's example, just like with
your own training or yourday-to-day life.
Like life is difficult, likethis, reframing doesn't make the
struggle disappear, butresilience at its core is moving
through difficulty, and it'sabout facing that difficulty,
(08:58):
telling yourself that this isnot the end and understanding
what you can be doing next toget you one step closer to
whatever goal that is that youwant, um.
So that's a very importantthing to remember and I, I love
this, this quote, um, it tiesinto resilience very well, but
(09:20):
it's run when you can walk, whenyou have to crawl, when you
must just never give up, andthat's resilience in its purest
form, and that's what Dave'sgift to me was that day, and I
hope you too Like.
If someone like Dave, who canface a life-changing injury, can
make the most of everyday lifeand still find joy in the
(09:42):
journey, even when he'srecovering, then you can too,
and so can I, like.
All of us can do that.
It's such a good example tolook to, and just that's why I
think it's important to go backand at least for me to listen to
the podcast again so I can hearthese stories, because
resilience is something that Ithink any successful human being
(10:03):
has.
Like.
You have to learn to beresilient in your job and your
family and your fitness goals,your own personal goals.
Resilience is always aboutcoming back and facing whatever
is in front of you with strength.
So on to lesson number two, andthis is about identity and
reinvention of yourself, whichis an interesting concept on its
own.
I believe humans are made toprogress, right.
That's what this whole podcastis about identity and
(10:23):
reinvention of yourself, whichis an interesting concept and
it's on its own, like I believehumans are made to progress,
right, like that's what thiswhole podcast is about.
So throughout our lives, we'regoing to be reinventing
ourselves quite a bit.
You know, we're going to learnor we're going to like think
that we might have some habitsthat we could trim up, get rid
of, and when we do that, we putourselves in a position to let
(10:44):
in other sources of we try andlet in other options for us to
try in our lives, like if it'shey, I have this habit where I
bite my nails and it's like,okay, well, maybe you need to
set some things up, but anyways,reinvention is a common
occurrence in all of our lives.
Like for me, being married, Ihad to reinvent myself, which
(11:05):
we'll talk about that in asecond, because this story is
about my brother Blake, and Ilove my brother Blake.
He is an amazing example to meof someone who, yes, he's
resilient as well, but he knowshow to push himself.
He is a hard worker and Ireally saw that firsthand when
(11:26):
we started Swallow.
Oh man, uh, real quick, I'mdrinking a diet Pepsi today.
All you in the comments saying,hey, that's disgusting, you
should be drinking Coke.
Well, real men drink Pepsi.
Just saying, going back to thestory of my brother, blake,
actually Blake got me into Pepsinow that I think about it,
(11:47):
because I remember him alwaysordering it and I was like, dang
, he's cool, he's drinking Pepsi.
So that's where it came from, Iguess.
Thanks, blake, for my addiction.
And it was a journey, like itwas hard, but it was so much fun
in the beginning and, um, all Imean all the way through it was
(12:08):
a lot of fun.
But Blake and I would spendhours at the office and
sometimes we'd pull all nighters.
Sometimes, you know, we'd getthere at six in the morning and
leave at 8 PM.
Um, we were putting in long,long hours.
We invested so much of our timein this business, blake mainly
being the main driver of that.
Like he did everything.
He built it from the ground up,hired everybody, had the
(12:32):
strategy of the business inplace, like he was the driver of
the business and it was hisbaby.
It really was and it wasamazing to watch his focus, his
ambition, all come into play inthis and see what he was able to
do with starting an agency andhiring a team to do it.
(12:55):
When Swallow ended, I watchedhim and really I don't want to
call him out too much, but I sawhim crumble a bit.
He lost a part of himself thatI think is really hard to get
back.
I feel like because of thebusiness closing he lost a lot
of confidence.
He came on the podcast and hetalked about how difficult it
(13:18):
was for himself and how duringthat time he felt like he lost
his identity.
So he tried so many differentthings.
He would mountain bike, hewould go surfing, he would go
camping, like tried doing somuch just to fill that void.
He was searching for somethingand then he found roping four
years later and I remember whenhe first started roping years
(13:43):
later and I remember when hefirst started roping uh, our
family, my mom's side there werea bunch of ranchers.
So growing up there'd be lotsof rodeos my mom's side would be
attending and they'd always beon horses and everything.
And Blake grew up with horses.
He trained them in high schooland, um, he had a love for these
animals, but I don't think heever thought of it as like a
(14:04):
profession or a job.
And it was interesting becauseI watched him like, as soon as
he's like, oh, I'm going to takeroping lessons.
It was funny because he'd sendour group message, like him just
standing there like trying torope a dummy steer, and he's
always like I just want to goride the horse and rope.
And what was cool about thatwhole experience is he found
(14:25):
something to lose himself inagain.
And it wasn't an easy thing.
Roping is not easy Like youhave to.
You're on a horse and you'retrying to rope a steer on the
ground which is moving.
It's going its own way.
You have to control the horse,while controlling your arm and
being all cohesive with themotion that you're doing, to try
and rope that thing right.
So it's very difficult.
(14:46):
But what struck me about hiswhole search is that he never
gave up.
Blake was always experimentingwith things and he was trying to
not let failure define him,which he showed himself that
that is the case.
Failure does not define whoBlake Rossel is.
He realized that a chapter hadclosed in his book but life had
(15:09):
given him the pen to startwriting a new one and it was
just a chance for him to startsomething new.
And reinvention is notsomething that's easy.
It often comes with fear.
It strikes whenever you leastexpect it and I've had my own
versions, you know, shiftingfrom marketing to sales,
evolving this podcast to be alittle bit more sharper and more
(15:30):
relevant to the audience, evenlearning to train differently
for ultras versus a sub threemarathon.
But personally, my biggestreinvention came when I was
married.
Before I married Ali, I thoughtbeing a good husband would come
pretty naturally to me and Ithink for the most part it did.
I think I'm a good man.
(15:50):
I try and be there for Allieanytime I can and with anything
that she needs.
But I quickly realized I hadwalls up.
I was emotionally closed offand I was nervous about letting
her fully into my life.
Like that's a scary thing forme.
Who's always?
I've been more reserved myentire life.
I haven't really had the chanceto open up and it gets.
It takes a lot from me to openup to someone else.
(16:14):
Like I have to have a lot oftrust there, not saying I didn't
trust Allie Of course I did.
But I've opened up to Alliethat, sorry mom, I haven't
opened up to my parents about.
And it's not because, you know,I don't love my parents just as
much as I love Allie, but it'sbecause I'm with her all the
time and I'm trying to build ourlife together and she's doing
the same.
(16:34):
But that requires you having tobe emotionally available, and
I'm a man, so you know menaren't the best at expressing
emotions.
No, I was going to say that'skind of a generalization, but I
think that's pretty true.
Men aren't the best atexpressing emotions, myself
(16:55):
included in that.
And so I realized that, inorder to be the best husband
that I could, I was going tohave to make some changes in my
life.
That was going to mean tearingsome walls down which scared me.
I had to open myself up to herand share what was in my mind,
in my heart in its purest form.
(17:20):
And in that vulnerability ourmarriage has flourished, oddly
enough, of course, likereinvention requires some kind
of sacrifice.
Right, You're giving up an oldpart of yourself to become
something greater, to becomesomething new, and in that
little timeframe between whenyou give up the thing that is
holding you back to the thingthat you want to become.
There's a lot of mental talkthat you're going to go through.
(17:44):
You're going to tell yourselfso much that whatever you're
holding onto over here is somuch better than what you could
potentially have over here.
But it's not until you actuallylet that go and you try and
experiment what that's like withthis new thing that you want to
add to your life.
You have to try it out.
You have to actually sit downand say, okay, well, how can I
(18:05):
reinvent this, whatever it is?
But you always fear what you'lllose in those moments, and for
me it was solitude.
I love being alone.
I think that's one of thereasons I love trail running so
much, and I've always lovedthose long stretches of time
where I just had to myself,where I could read, I could
write, I could work on thingsand sometimes I'd play video
(18:27):
games, like just completely vegout.
But I worried that marriagemeant giving that up and in some
ways I did.
I did give up a lot of my ownpersonal time and my own free
time for myself, but I gainedsomething infinitely better and
that's companionship, like, evenin the silence, like just
(18:48):
sitting side by side, we're onthe couch, I'm reading a book
and Allie's writing a podcast,or vice versa, like Allie is
richer than solitude ever was,and so it only comes from that
experience.
Like you have to try it out,give up that thing that you
(19:10):
think you want so bad forsomething that's greater.
And the first few days, firstfew weeks, months, maybe, might
be difficult, but eventuallywhat you had over here that you
thought was so great pales incomparison to what you now
gained, and for me,companionship was that.
So, man, I'm sorry Words, whatwould I tell someone who's stuck
(19:36):
in an old identity?
I would tell them to startsmall.
Start very, very small, towhere it's comprehensible in
your mind, to where it's not toooverwhelming, and then try
something new for three to fivedays, commit to those days, see
how it feels and then, if thatdoesn't work, break it down into
smaller pieces.
If you have to change does nothappen overnight, but it doesn't
(20:01):
.
It also doesn't happen if younever begin.
So you have to decide what youwant, and my own experience has
always taught me that holdingonto this old version of myself
is not worth whatever potentialcould be risen to, and I'll give
(20:22):
another example here.
So running is a sometimes it's avery egotistical sport, meaning
I don't want people to thinkI'm slow, which is so stupid.
I qualified for Boston.
That's obviously not slow, andthen that might sound really
confident and cocky.
But I mean data's, data, um.
But with that in mind, likeI've been training for an ultra
(20:47):
marathon and I can't expectmyself to go out on the trails
and run sub seven minute mileswhen I'm doing 3000 feet
elevation gain over 15 miles,that's just.
That doesn't make sense.
That's not going to happen.
I'm not at that level and I'mnot sure if anyone is.
If they are, I want to knowabout them, because that's
insane.
Um, but anyways, I have thisgoal of running an ultra
(21:10):
marathon and old me is trying tohold on to the fact that I can
run fast, right, that I can havethese quick paces, that I
qualified for Boston.
But if I want to be a greatultra runner, I have to
recognize that I need to slowdown in order to get all the
mileage in, because if I don't,I'm going to burn out and I'm
going to hate my life, and I'vebeen trying to slowly do that.
I'm not great at it yet.
But I have a 20 mile runtomorrow and my goal is to
(21:35):
finish.
And I told Allie, I don't careif that means I'm walking half
of it, I'm going to finish the20 miles in the mountains.
And so that's just a quickexample.
But like I wanted to hold on tothis fact that I'm fast so bad,
and in doing so it it actuallywas a deterrent for me being
successful on the trails.
So think about things in yourlife like that.
(21:56):
That's what I mean byreinventing yourself.
And so right now I'mreinventing myself as an ultra
runner.
I'm not going after a sub threemarathon, I'm not doing any of
that stuff.
I'm just trying to get thedistance in.
I'm trying to be the best I canin the mountains.
With that, let's move on intolesson number three feeding the
mind, body and the heart.
And this is from Jared Lee, mybuddy from work.
(22:16):
But he came on the podcast andI had one of the most
thought-provoking conversationsI've had on getting after to
this day, because he introducedme to an idea I'd never really
heard before, and it's feedingthe heart.
He found that from CS Lewis,who talks about feeding the
heart.
But what does that mean?
(22:37):
Well, obviously, we know how tofeed the body.
That's, you know you giveyourself some good food, you
exercise, you rest, you'retaking care of yourself For the
mind, you know you're listeningto podcasts, you're reading
books, you study something,you're trying to keep your mind
fresh and active.
But the heart is very different.
(22:57):
That's something likecompassion, a higher purpose
serving others.
That's something likecompassion, a higher purpose
serving others, and it's oftenthe part that we neglect as
human beings, because it's theeasiest to nowadays Like we
don't.
Really all you're doing is letme back up.
Really, what most people aredoing is going to work every day
(23:17):
, coming home, spending timewith family, eating, going to
bed right, and I do that a lot.
I fall into that window.
What is that?
I fall into that bucket quite abit of someone who just tries
to feed the brain and the body.
Wow, I'm having a hard time withwords again, but the heart is
(23:38):
also something that's veryimportant.
So how do we do that?
Well, when Jared startedtalking about it, it kind of
clicked for me, because growthisn't just one dimensional.
If you can only feed your body,you become physically strong,
but empty.
If you only feed your mind, youbecome sharp but disconnected,
like you're not going to havegreat relationships.
(23:59):
But to live fully, I've come tounderstand that you have to
live all three and in my ownlife I broke down a couple
things that might be some goodexamples for you.
But I try to do this daily.
So for the mind, I readsomething every day, like that
could be a book, an article oranything that I think would
sharpen me.
I try and read something Forthe body.
I train super hard.
(24:20):
I eat whole foods, I try to andI try to avoid ultra-processed
foods, but, as we all know,banana Twinkies are freaking
delicious.
So is my diet, pepsi sittingright next to me.
So I try to be good where I can.
But the heart it's been aninteresting discovery for myself
(24:41):
Because spending time withAllie, that companionship, feeds
my soul.
I pray, I study scripture and Itry and serve where I can.
I try and be there for myfriends.
I try and be there for myfamily.
If there's someone who needshelp at work or if I see them at
the store, whatever thesituation might be, I try and
step in and serve, not out ofsome hey, look at me, I'm
(25:03):
greater than you, kind of thing,but honestly it's selfish
because I feel like the morethat I help other people, the
better I feel myself.
I have just a better demeanorand it's interesting.
But praying also is somethingthat has been monumental in my
own personal growth.
(25:24):
Because when you think aboutprayer yes, obviously it's a
time for you to connect with God.
If you believe in prayer, ifyou believe that that's what it
does for me, that's exactly whatit is it's time for me to have
a conversation with God to tellhim how I'm feeling and really
think about what's bothering me.
(25:45):
And like when I go and I prayand I'm praying about
infertility, I will sit thereand think about what in the
situation I need help with andthen I'll ask God.
But that does two things for me.
One, it feels like God and Iare on the same team.
He's got my back.
I'm trying to ask him for somethings and I know that it's a
(26:06):
good desire, so I'm praying forblessings to come through that
faith Scripture's.
The same way, I've also noticedthat when I pray, a lot of my
questions that I have that I goto God for, can be answered in
Scripture.
The importance of prayer for meis when I pray.
That's top of mind.
Then when I go and I studyScripture, I will notice things
(26:29):
that I didn't before, becausethose things are more relevant,
right?
So if I'm thinking aboutinfertility and thinking about
the struggle that I'm goingthrough with Allie, then, by the
way, allie doesn't haveinfertility, it's me.
That's a common misconception.
It's always the women peopleblame.
But nope, this one is me.
I got no sperm guys Pretty cool.
Me.
(26:52):
I got no sperm guys Pretty cool.
And in that time, like I will goto the scriptures and I'll
learn.
You know how certain peoplepush through difficult times, or
like Moses, whatever, if it'sthe Bible, if it's the book of
Mormon, anything of scripture,and um, I also just feel like it
makes me a better person.
And I know it might sound weirdif you don't believe this stuff
, but I would tell you to try it.
Uh, because there's a lot ofpower that can be taken from,
(27:17):
taken from God.
That's when you take his power,but you can accept him into
your life and he will help you.
And I'll be honest, I've gottenit wrong many times before,
like with this whole balancingthese three things.
Like a few years ago, when I wasin college, I was so obsessed
with my fitness.
You know I'd track every singlegram of food.
(27:37):
I would be so focused on everyrep in the gym.
My body was so strong at thattime but I didn't really have
relationships.
I wasn't really good friendswith anyone in college.
My mind suffered because when Iwas working this is so stupid
(27:58):
when I was working on my studies, I'd always have like YouTube
videos of bodybuilders in thebackground.
I know it sounds kind of Ididn't want to say that, but it
sounds kind of gay, to be honest, it's.
I promise it's not one's kindof gay, to be honest, it's.
I promise it's not, um, dang it, I might have to edit that part
out anyways.
So my mind was so focused onfitness that I was neglecting
(28:20):
other areas of my life and itwas pretty clear to me because
those things, like myrelationships, my brain, they
all suffered because I wasn'tpaying so much attention to them
.
And, um, during that time I wasI still believe her in God like
still believer in Christ.
But was I doing anything toemulate that?
No, because I was very focusedon myself during that time.
(28:41):
I was very selfish and that'swhat I realized is, you know,
that lesson taught me that inthose times when you have
certain goals that you want topursue or you're trying to do
certain things that you thinkwill make you a better person
and a lot of the times they dobut it can become so narrowed on
yourself that you lose sight ofother people, you lose sight of
your goals.
(29:01):
So it's a dangerous line to totow.
And balance isn't about rigidequality in all these aspects.
And that's one interestingthing about the word balance.
You know people say like, oh,you need to be balanced in your
life.
I don't think that's true.
I think there's going to betimes in your life when you're
(29:22):
focused more on your work thanyour family.
You're focused more on yourfamily than work.
You're focused more on yourfaith than work.
Like, focused more on yourfaith than work, like, whatever
it is, things are going to comeup, they're going to take
priorities, and that's what'simportant is having a clear
understanding of your priorities, and so I would say balance is
shifting attention to where it'sneeded while still keeping the
(29:44):
other areas alive.
Like you still have to put woodon that fire to keep it alive,
and then you know you could justthrow a couple of sticks on
there sometimes, or you couldtoss a massive log on there, but
whatever it is, as long asyou're keeping that that flame
going, it's burning then youwill make progress in those
areas and it might look small insome times of your life and
(30:06):
larger in others, but it's aboutmanaging them and keeping them
a daily practice, even if it's asmall thing that you do.
Here's what I would tell you.
If you wanted to understandkind of how you think and what
the you know where you're atwith your mind, your body and
your heart is, I would sayjournal about your priorities.
(30:27):
You don't have to actuallywrite it down if that's too hard
for you or like you don't liketo write, I would tell yourself
to record yourself and just theprompt should be what are my
priorities, what's important tome, and then once you identify
those, you can break them downinto daily actions, like for
your mind, your body and yourheart, because in my experience,
(30:48):
clarity brings alignment andalignment brings growth.
It's just understanding what'simportant to you and I feel like
a lot of the times we feeloverwhelmed with all the things
that we have to do, when inreality all we need to do is
take a step back and think aboutwhere we're at in each of those
areas and if there's anythingthat we could do to improve.
It shouldn't be a scary thing.
(31:08):
It should be an exciting thing.
Three lessons from the podcastthat have really shaped me were
these that we've talked abouttoday Resilience in the face of
adversity, you keep hope and younever stop moving.
Identity and reinvention.
Closed chapters are not the end.
(31:30):
They're a chance to begin again, feeding the mind, body and
heart.
Growth is holistic and notone-dimensional.
These are all reminders that Icarry daily with me now, which
I'm very blessed to be able tosay I can do that and that I've
had these conversations on thepodcast.
Maybe the next time you face asetback or you feel stuck or you
(31:52):
wonder why you're off balance,maybe one of these lessons will
be there for you too.
Life is interesting.
It changes all the time.
You have to learn how to adapt,which I think is why resilience
is important.
You have to learn how to getrid of old habits and start new
ones, and you have toconsistently feed those three
(32:15):
parts of who you are, becausethat will make you become a
better person and that will helpyou grow.
I know it can happen to you.
It's happened to all thesepeople who have shared this on
the podcast.
It's happened to me.
It's happened to many otherpeople out there.
I don't know if they listen tothis, but I know these lessons
can be applied to your life andhelp you change.
It's not something I'm justsaying to put words in the air.
(32:38):
This is real stuff.
These are people's experiencesthat they shared on this podcast
to help people like you whomight be going through something
similar, who might face somesimilar situation in the future,
whatever it is.
They apply to everyone,including me and including you.
So I hope these three lessonswere helpful to some degree for
(33:01):
you and I appreciate you guysfor listening.
It always means a lot to methat you guys tune in and listen
to the show.
It's not easy to do.
Sometimes it requires a lot oftime and energy, but it's worth
it to me that you guys tune inand listen to the show.
It's not easy to do.
Sometimes it requires a lot oftime and energy, but it's worth
it to me, like if I can helppeople continue on their own
progression path and make somestrides that they didn't think
(33:21):
that they could, then this is asuccessful podcast for me and
I'm proud to be the host of theshow.
So thank you guys for listening.
If it helped at all, pleaseleave a rating or a comment,
whatever.
I love hearing from you guysand until next episode,
everybody, keep your heads highand keep getting after it.
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