December 1, 2025 • 33 mins
Men make up nearly 80% of suicide deaths. And yet, so many of us suffer in silence.
In this episode, I open up about a chapter of my life I’ve never shared in full — the identity crisis that nearly broke me, the intrusive thoughts I couldn’t escape, and how something as simple as a sunset… started to pull me back.
I talk about:
- Why men often hide their pain
- The connection between identity, stagnation, and depression
- How gratitude isn’t soft — it’s a mental weapon
- The role of running in facing inner chaos
- Why silence is the enemy and vulnerability is strength
Whether you’re in a dark place or trying to support someone who is — this episode may help and I hope it does.
You are not alone.
You are not weak.
And this chapter of your life is not the end of the story.
Keep Going. Keep Getting After It.
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I hope today’s episode sparked something within you to pursue your dreams and unlock your true potential. If you found value in it, consider sharing it with someone who might need that same push.
Getting After It is for those who. want to silence their self-doubt. Refuse to be owned by comfort. Understand their limits are man-made and breakable. We live in a time of constant comparison. Social media drowns us in highlight reels and overnight success stories. But what most people don’t see is the grit behind it all. The reps. The quiet mornings. The sacrifices. The failures.
You are just getting started. Keep Getting After It.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
SPEAKER_00 (00:00):
Welcome back, my friends.
I am happy that you're heretoday.
I wanted to kind of have adifferent episode than I usually
do, you know.
Usually I'm talking aboutfitness or having a guest on to
share their story about whatthey've done to get after it.
And uh this is gonna be a littlebit of a heavier episode, so
just uh little warning there,and um, it might upset some
(00:22):
people because we're gonna betalking about men's mental
health.
Um and I'm gonna talk about myown journey, my own story and
what I've had to deal with in mylife, things that have gotten me
through, things that havehelped.
And it's gonna be very honestand real, so I'm not gonna hold
back a lot of the things that II talk about.
And November is men's mentalhealth month.
(00:45):
Um before we go anywhere elsewith this topic, I want to
ground the conversation inreality and and talk about the
actual data behind what our ourI guess really everyone in the
the world in terms of men arefacing.
So the numbers are shocking.
When I when I saw these, um Iwas kind of taken aback a little
(01:08):
bit because like it's it's ascary thing, and we'll talk
about why.
I think it's a a hard thing formen, but um the actual numbers
are shocking.
So globally, one in eight menlive with a diagnosable mental
health disorder.
So that's things likedepression, anxiety, um, you
know, schizophrenia, those kindof things.
(01:30):
Um in the US, it's closer to onein five men.
And that's pretty wild.
Every single year, one in fivemen will get diagnosed with some
kind of mental health disorder.
And I don't like calling themdisorders.
Um honestly, like I look atmental health the same way I
look at being sick, physicallysick.
(01:53):
You know, if your brain isplagued with depression or
anxiety or something else that'sgoing on, um, you would treat it
the same as you would if you hadthe flu.
Like you want to make sure thatyou get taken care of.
And that was something I neverreally understood until I was
married and talked to my wifeabout it.
Um and she helped me understandthat piece is that hey, if you
(02:14):
were sick, you would getantibiotics, you would take care
of your body, you would getrest, you would eat some good
food, and just let your bodypass through and get over this.
Same thing goes for mentalhealth uh disorders and in
problems.
Um, you know, medication is outthere that that helps many men
and and people in general, butum anyways, I I think going back
(02:40):
to the numbers, one thing thatuh as I was doing my research,
many of the experts who weretalking about you know, the the
one in five men every singleyear, um, many of them believe
that those numbers areunder-reported.
They think that they're lowerthan they actually are because
men stay silent.
We're not the best at talkingabout our feelings.
(03:00):
We're not talking, we're not thebest at expressing exactly how
we feel at every single givenmoment.
Um, I've gotten better as theyears have gone gone on, but
still, I I wouldn't say that I'man expert.
Um so nearly half of men saythat they feel more depressed
and they don't tell anyone.
(03:20):
Um, and then here's the darkpart.
Here's the scary thing that whenI read this, I I got sick to my
stomach.
But in 2023, men died by suicideat a rate nearly four times
higher than men.
Men are 50% of the population,but 80% of suicide deaths.
A man dies by suicide in Americaevery 13 minutes.
(03:46):
Every 13 minutes.
Let that sit for a moment.
This is not a small problem.
This is not a men should toughit out problem.
This is a crisis.
It's a quiet one, and it's adeadly one.
And I've been through this.
I really have.
(04:06):
Like, mental health is somethingthat I've struggled with quite
quite a bit.
I've I've had eating disorders,um, I've had states of
depression, and each time I'malways scared when I go through
it.
I think many of the reasons I Iam scared is because like the
thoughts that come into my headare very intrusive.
(04:29):
They I don't want them there,and yet they still show up, and
it's hard to control them.
Um, I'm someone who hyperfocuses on on my thoughts.
Um, I like to think a lot, butwhen those thoughts are
interrupted by you knowdepression or um thoughts of
(04:49):
suicide, like it scares the hellout of me.
And it's it's something that Iwish more men talked about
because I think we face it morethan um like those numbers said,
like they're lower than theyactually are reported to be.
Um but back in around 2023, Iwas going through a big
transition.
(05:10):
Uh at my job, I was I wasworking really hard, um, but
seeing no growth, seeing noopportunity to to find you know
the next step for me in mycareer.
Uh, I was, you know, stillhitting on my numbers and sales
and and doing what I should havedone, but I felt like I was very
stagnant.
And as someone who preaches andtalks about you know personal
(05:33):
growth and and progression andreally trying to do your best,
uh, that did not sit well withme.
And so, you know, the thethoughts started slow, like they
started pretty light.
I would call myself, you know,hey, you're kind of a loser,
like you're not doing much.
And those would progress to likeyou're kind of a terrible guy,
(05:54):
like you're you're not a greatman.
And then those got even worse,and it was like, you should you
should probably die.
Like as hard as that might be tohear, those were like thoughts
that went through my head, andit was scary.
Like, you know, I'm just sittingthere at work, and then all of a
sudden, all these thoughts,these intrusive thoughts, flood
(06:14):
my brain, and that's thescariest part.
They felt automatic.
It was like a virus was in mymind, and I couldn't shut it
off.
And I wasn't myself, I wasn'tgrowing.
And the thing that hurts me themost is I wasn't showing up for
the people that I love.
I was very selfish at this time,and I didn't want help from
(06:38):
anyone.
I thought I'd be able to figureit out on my own.
I thought I was uh strong enoughto be able to do that, and so I
just kept it silent.
I I didn't want to tell anybody,and they just continued to get
worse.
And it felt like I was in somekind of void where I had a loss
of identity, you know, I was nolonger progressing in all these
(07:00):
things, and it affected everysingle, every single aspect of
my life.
It nearly took me out.
Like I was angry, I wasirritable, I was numb, I didn't
feel anything.
And that all led to depression.
And it was a slippery slope, andit it took me a long time to get
out of it, but I've I triedthings like therapy.
(07:23):
I I went on a medication, and Iactually wasn't gonna share that
part because like even mesitting here, like talking about
men's mental health and how youknow I wish that more men would
talk about it and and be able toexpress themselves and um find
help when they needed it.
But I didn't want to talk aboutmy medication because again,
(07:44):
like I I in those thoughts, inthose those times when I was
depressed and I was trying tofigure it out, I thought if I
was to go on some kind ofmedicine, it would a hundred
percent be a sign of weakness onmy part.
And so I I kind of swore thatoff that I wasn't gonna try any
(08:04):
meds.
Um eventually I did, and itactually did help quite a bit.
Um I was diagnosed with OCD, andthe medicine that I'm on is
specifically for those who haveOCD.
Um in that, but like here's thething I wouldn't know if I was
diagnosed with OCD if I didn'tactually go to the the doctor
and talk to them about what wasgoing on and what my thoughts
(08:28):
were like, and and because Ihave OCD, like when I have an
intrusive thought, I willhyperfixate on it and focus on
it and think about it and andreally just dissect every part
of that thought, and it'll takeup my whole day.
It used to take up my whole day.
I've gotten much better now, butum it was a really scary time.
(08:50):
Like I hate to say this, and I'mkind of embarrassed to say it,
but I I want to be honest inthis this conversation, but I
was very not obsessed, but Ithought a lot about taking my
own life.
Um it makes me so sad to saythat now because my life is
great, it's beautiful, and Ihave an amazing wife, and I
(09:12):
cannot even imagine leaving her,um leaving her alone, and
specifically that way.
That is I I just can't imaginedoing that.
Um and I still face some ofthese thoughts, they're not as
strong as they used to be, andI've I've been able to focus on
(09:35):
getting through them instead ofhyperfixating on them, and you
know, that's we'll talk aboutsome of the things that I've
done and things that have helpedme in the past, but um you know
I was nervous during that time.
I was really scared.
Um I didn't know I didn't knowwhat was gonna happen with me.
(09:57):
Um because like I felt so such astrong loss of identity.
Um I was in this transition inmy life, and it was just it was
hard for me to function.
My my mental state was rough.
I was uh, you know, I hadintense brain fog.
I lost a lot of weight.
(10:18):
Um I was a shell of the humanthat I am now.
And it's all because I I letthat boil inside of me and
fester inside of me.
Um up until the point to where Iwas just you know okay with what
was going on in life, and youknow, I didn't care, I didn't
have any passions.
I didn't I didn't want to tryanything, and um, I didn't want
(10:39):
to push myself.
Again, that's a really scarythought because I'm always I've
I like to think that I'm someonewho always tries to to push and
grow.
Um But I I've I've learned a lotabout myself during this time.
Uh but I want to talk about someof the things that have actually
gotten me through it.
So during that time, um I fellin love with sunsets.
(11:03):
That's as weird as that sounds.
Uh, but I I live in Utah, um andthe sunsets up there are so
gorgeous, especially when youknow it goes behind the
mountains, and it's just abeautiful, beautiful thing to
see.
Um, and I remember when I wouldgo out and look at the sunset, I
always told myself that, hey, Itold myself, I'm hey, Brett, I'm
(11:25):
proud of you.
You made it another day.
And there's somethinginteresting about sunsets, you
know, they're beautiful, theyare they're quiet, um, and it's
just peaceful.
Like those are really peacefulmoments for me.
Uh, I remember Jocko, he talkedabout uh he says the same thing
about sunrises, but he says, youknow, he's grateful every day
(11:48):
that he wakes up and he can seeanother sunrise.
And for me, you know, I was justglad that I was able to get
through each day and end it witha sunset.
And I knew if I was able to dothat, if I was able to look
outside, see the sun going down,I would recognize that hey, I'm
still here, I'm still pushing,and I'm gonna get better.
(12:11):
And it was that little moment ofgratitude where I kind of
recognized that, that you canfind beauty in the small things.
Um I remember one night I wasoutside, Allie was in Arizona
because she's she's a pilot downin Mesa.
Um, but I remember I was outsideon our our back patio and um I
was watching the sun go down,and I just felt intense
(12:34):
gratitude.
I I was so grateful that I wasstill here, that I was starting
to feel better, and mostimportantly, I was grateful for
my circumstances.
As strange as that might sound,you know, because I was
depressed and I was in thispretty rough shape, but I was
grateful because there were somany other people out there, and
(12:54):
there's there are so many peopleout there still today who have
situations that are much worsethan mine, yet they find joy.
And there's this quote from umPresident Russell M.
Nelson, he was the last prophetof the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints, but he saysthe the joy in our lives is
(13:17):
directly correlated to what wefocus on.
It's it's that's not the exactquote, but um something along
those lines that our joy in lifeis completely it completely
revolves around what we focuson.
And that is a truth that I havelearned.
Um, because in that time where Iwas depressed and I I had
(13:39):
thoughts of taking my own life,I thought about those things.
And I didn't think about what Ihad, I didn't think about the
things that were going well inmy life, and and little things
like like my physical health andum the fact that I have a loving
wife, and that's not a littlething.
I take that back.
That's a huge thing.
Um, but my physical health, youknow, the the fact that I have a
(14:00):
car, like little tiny things.
I would try and find gratitudein every single day.
I got to the point to where I Ihad a gratitude journal, and I
would start my day just writingdown three things that I was
grateful for.
It's kind of a common thing I Ibelieve many people do, but um
for me at that time, it justallowed me to pause and really
(14:21):
focus on you know what I amgrateful for and what I am um
thankful in my life uh forthings that have that have
happened to me.
Um and going back to thegratitude piece, I started very
small, it began with thosesunsets, and I was just proud I
(14:44):
was able to make it anotheranother day.
But that was gratitude in itssimplest form.
And slowly it changed me.
Like it's not gonna be anovernight change for you, and
and it wasn't for me.
And so I want to make that clearlike gratitude is not gonna be
the um it's not gonna be themagic potion that cures you of
your mental health issues.
No, I don't think that's thecase, but I think it's in a an a
(15:07):
very powerful catalyst to getyou out of the situation.
Um it doesn't erase the pain, itgives you a place to stand
though while you heal.
And gratitude became my anchorand almost my reset button.
Like my reminder that even whenlife feels unbearable, there are
things worth noticing, worthvaluing, and worth staying alive
(15:32):
for.
Uh, over the years, I've I'vehad conversations with close
friends, um, you know, mybrothers and and other men in my
life, and the pattern is alwayspretty similar.
Uh, we carry pressure, uh we weput a lot of pressure on
ourselves, men do.
(15:52):
Just with you know, providingand working hard, uh trying to
take care of the people in ourlives.
We suppress what we feel.
We don't want to burn it atburden anyone.
We don't want to look weak.
And we don't want to fail thepeople who are counting on us.
(16:13):
If you're a man, I'm sure one ofthose things rang true to you.
I'm sure you have dealt with oneof those thoughts before.
You know, you don't want toburden anybody, so why would you
tell them about your problems?
You don't want to be that guy.
I was definitely, I had thosethoughts.
You don't want to look weak.
You know, if you go and you asksomeone for help, you might not
(16:34):
be the strong man that youalways thought you were.
I faced that.
I really faced that.
That was a hard thing for me togo through.
And you don't want to fail thepeople counting on us.
This was always something that II struggle with as well.
Like, I didn't want to go to mywife and say, hey, Al, I'm
depressed.
(16:54):
I'm having a hard time.
Because I didn't want her tolose her faith in me as a man,
to be able to, you know, handlethe hardships of life, to be
able to continue on and find thejoy.
I didn't want to tell her that.
I didn't I didn't want to feellike I was failing her because,
you know, I'm married to thisbeautiful, amazing woman, and
(17:17):
I'm depressed.
I didn't want her to think thatthat was because of her.
And I've learned that silence isnot a strength.
It's a killer.
And I mean that in the in themost true terms.
It is not uh a strength to besilent.
It is going to it it I won't sayit's gonna kill you, but um it's
(17:41):
not good.
That is not a good thing to do.
The men around me who finallyopened up to me and and they
talked to me, it was becausethey wanted to.
And they did it because, youknow, they thought they were
breaking.
And every single one of themsaid so pretty much the same
thing afterwards.
(18:02):
Or something along these lines,but very similar.
I didn't know talking about itwould help this much.
It's a simple thing to do, butit's hard.
It's simple, but it's not easy.
Opening up about your feelingsand talking about them.
I'm still pretty trash abouttalking about my feelings.
(18:23):
I I have a hard time expressingmyself, and um Allie always says
this.
She's always like, You wear youremotions on your face.
And so she's like, Are youupset?
And I'm like, No.
And I just I look like I'm mad,like I'm like this.
And she's like, Are you upset?
I'm like, no.
Um, but really, like I I alwaysthought, you know, just
(18:44):
suppressing it was the rightthing to do when in reality
that's that's the worst.
Um so let's talk about some ofthe things that have really
helped me.
Um first, and I bet you canguess what it is, but running.
Running is is the probably oneof the most important things I
(19:07):
can do for my mental health.
Um, I believe it's a mirror.
And I also believe that thatrunning saved me in more ways
than one.
Not because you know, endurancesports magically fix everything,
they don't, but because running,running forced me to be honest,
it forces honesty.
There's this great quote fromCameron Hand.
(19:28):
No, I think it's from DavidGoggins.
David Goggins, where he says,you can't fake suffering.
You have to be completely realwhen you're suffering.
And that is true.
Like you have to deal with yourthoughts.
When you run, you can't escapeyour thoughts.
Um, you can't distract yourselfwith screens or with noise.
(19:48):
Like you might be able to playsome music or listen to
podcasts, but at the end of theday, your thoughts are going to
be more powerful than those.
And you can't hide from thetruth.
Just yesterday, I was out in theSantan Mountains with Drew, and
we were running.
Um like it was cold in themorning.
It was beautiful though.
Like we were watching thesunrise as we were running, but
somehow during the run we gotseparated.
(20:09):
Um, I came down a pass and Ijust kept going and um I was
feeling good, so I justmaintained my speed.
And all of a sudden I turnaround and I don't know where
Drew is.
Um, and I didn't have headphoneson that because usually when we
go running together, I liketalking to him the whole time.
So I didn't have any headphones,and the only thing I had was my
thoughts, and it really hit meat that time.
(20:29):
Like, running is my mirror, it'sit's my outlet.
Um, it's my reminder thatdiscomfort won't kill me.
Like, that's that's really it.
If I'm uncomfortable in asituation, it's not gonna kill
me.
And every time I run, I face thethings that I've been avoiding
in my head.
And by the time I finish, thatweight that I've been carrying
(20:50):
feels a little bit lighter.
Um, you might not understandthis until you actually go and
try it.
And so this might be my mychallenge for you is if you are
dealing with some kind of mentalchallenge right now, you don't
even have to go for a run.
Maybe it's just a walk.
But just be alone with yourthoughts.
Just think about the things thatare bothering you.
(21:10):
And when you're walking orrunning, you're gonna have
better thoughts.
Come because you're you'removing your body.
And I don't know why, but thosetwo things kind of go hand in
hand is your thinking power andyour your movement.
Um so that's just a couplethings.
But every time I run, the reasonI say it's my mirror is because
(21:33):
I you look in the mirror, yousee yourself.
Like you're looking directly atyourself.
And when I'm running, it'salmost like my a mirror for my
thoughts.
Like I have to go in there, Ihave to go into my brain and
think about what's going on,what I want to focus on.
Like, if I'm thinking about apodcast, I'll think about
(21:53):
certain topics or or quotes orstories that I've heard that
might be relevant.
Um, I'll think about JesusChrist.
Uh, I think about him a lot whenI'm running, uh, and just how
grateful I am for him.
But really, it's just a time forme to think.
And whatever's on my mind thatday, that's usually the thing
that is top of mind on my run.
(22:15):
So that has helped me quite abit.
And I know running's not foreverybody, but I will say
there's a few others that I Iwrote down that um have helped
me too.
So if you listen to the podcast,you know I'm a big journaling
guy, and this is another thing Iwould suggest.
Write down your thoughts thatyou're too scared to speak.
(22:38):
The ones that you're afraid toeven look at.
Write them down, put themsomewhere outside of your head,
get them out there, and let thembreathe.
Let those thoughts be there.
And I also love journalingbecause it shows your your
thoughts over time.
Like now I have a catalog of allmy my journals um for about
(23:04):
three years now.
Um, so I have three years worthof journals in my Apple notes,
and I can go back to the timeswhere I knew I was struggling
and read those.
And when I look back on themnow, it doesn't even feel like
it's my own writing because Iwas such in a different
headspace.
Um, but it gives me hope.
(23:26):
And it gives me hope because Iknow if I ever have to deal with
this again, I'll get through it.
So that's why I love journalingso much.
It just gives me a chance to getmy thoughts out of my head, to
write them down and leave themthere.
The other thing is gratitude.
Like, like I said, you can startwith three things each morning
(23:47):
that you're grateful for.
You can write them down, uh, putthem in your phone, uh, you
could text them to yourself,like it doesn't matter.
But that's a simple exercisethat at least shows you that you
do have more things to begrateful for than you thought.
Big or small, it doesn't matter.
But gratitude rewires yourperception of reality and what
you have and the things that aregoing well in your life.
(24:08):
Because a lot of the times wekind of overlook many of the
things we should be grateful forbecause life moves fast, we're
distracted, or we're doingsomething else, like we're busy.
So take a moment and pause andthink about what you do have to
be grateful for.
The third thing kind of goesalong with running, but I would
just say hard exercise ingeneral, like not for the
(24:31):
aesthetics, not for looking, butreally for your mind.
Uh, movement clears mental foglike nothing else for me.
And I've looked at the researchon this particular uh piece of
what we're talking about withworking out in your your mental
thoughts, and almost allpsychologists say that it is
(24:54):
very important for you to moveyour body.
You know, humans are not meantto be stagnant.
So if you're sitting around alot, if you're not moving very
much, that'll add up.
And your body needs to move.
I almost look at exercise askind of like a vitamin.
And you know, you take a vitaminevery day and you're supposed to
start feeling better, it'ssupposed to, you know, take care
(25:16):
of you.
If you're taking D3, like itbuilds you your immunity.
Um, you know, there's allcertain things that these
supplements and these vitaminsdo for your body.
Uh, but exercise is almost likea vitamin for the mind.
And the body too.
Like it's really good for you.
But it clears out your mind.
Because when you're doingsomething incredibly hard,
(25:37):
you're not gonna be focusing onon what's bothering you.
You're gonna be focusing onmaking sure you don't die with
this exercise.
You're gonna be pushingyourself.
Um the fifth one, the fifth oneis the most important to me.
And it's faith.
Like, I know that God carried methrough the moments that I
(25:59):
couldn't carry myself.
I still believe that today.
I know that Jesus Christabsolutely understands every
single thing that I go through.
He suffered for all of us, notjust for our sins, but all our
emotional pains too.
And I know that is true becausehe did it for me.
(26:22):
I would pray to him every singlenight, and I would I would pray
for extra strength.
And I received it.
I got that strength.
I'm still here today.
And let me tell you, thethoughts that I had, the
intrusive suicidal thoughts,were so strong.
It was scary.
(26:43):
I didn't recognize myself.
But I knew Jesus Christ knewexactly how I felt.
And I would just think about hima lot, and uh he helped me.
Um He helped me quite a bit, andhe still does today, but having
my faith rooted in the gospel ofJesus Christ was the number one
(27:08):
thing that kept me going.
I knew I was gonna be able toget through it, I knew that um
Christ could help me through.
And there's a verse, I can'tremember where it is, but where
Christ in the New Testamentsays, Come all those who are
(27:29):
something along these lines, butall those who are heavy laden,
come unto me, and I will giveyou rest.
And I trusted that, and I I hadto believe that that was the
case, that God was going to beable to give me rest from my
situation, from these thoughts,from the fact that I wanted to
take my life.
(27:50):
I wanted rest from all those,and I wanted it so bad, and the
only reason I got it was becauseof Christ.
He gave me strength, he pushedme through, and he carried me
when I couldn't carry myself.
You might not be someone whobelieves in God, someone who but
doesn't believe in Jesus Christ,but believe in something greater
(28:13):
than yourself and hope forsomething greater.
Like Jesus Christ gives me hope.
And if I have hope, I can keepgoing.
Even when life is dark, evenwhen I do have those intrusive
thoughts, He pushes me along andhe helps me through it.
It's one of those things thatyou have to practice in order to
really see the benefit of.
(28:35):
But I'm telling you, it's itworks, and it is true, and I
will talk to anyone about thatif they want to learn more.
Reach out to me.
But for men, this is the thing Iwant you to take away from this
episode.
Is if yeah, if there's one thingthat I want you to leave with
(28:55):
today, it's these.
One, you are not alone.
There's so many men who gothrough this.
You're not alone, you're notbroken, you're not some anomaly.
It's it's completely natural.
Like recognize you're not aloneand that there's people who want
to help.
If you need help and you don'tknow who to ask, ask me.
(29:17):
I will I will call you, I willjump on Instagram, DM you,
whatever you need.
I will do it.
But you are not alone.
And the second is that this isnot permanent.
It might feel like it is, itmight have been going on for
years.
Um, I know some people,unfortunately, have depressive
episodes that last years.
(29:38):
Um, but it will end.
And I'm telling you, you musthave hope for that.
You have to believe that that isthe case, and you have to work
towards it.
Like, do not just sit around andbe idle during this time.
Focus on what you need to do.
Focus on what the next step isgoing to be.
You can find it, but you have tojust maintain the mind.
(30:00):
Momentum and have hope that thisis not gonna be your life
forever.
Because it wasn't my lifeforever.
My life, like I said, isbeautiful and I love it.
And I'm so grateful for thethings that I'm able to do and
for the fact that I'm stillhere.
That's a big one for me, is thatI'm still here.
I am I am pushing myself, I amliving life, I go through my own
(30:24):
struggles, but I get to see asunset every night.
And that's something that isvery important to me.
And if I was going back tomyself in those moments where I
where I struggled a lot and Iwas having those thoughts of
suicide, and I didn't want to bethere anymore, I would tell
myself that there is a futureversion of yourself, Brett, that
(30:47):
is worth fighting for.
There is a future for you, andyou need to have hope in that
and you need to work towards it.
It's worth fighting for.
Also, there are people who loveyou more deeply than you even
(31:09):
realize, and you are strongerthan the thoughts that are
trying to break you.
You're not broken.
Thoughts might might tell youthat you are, but you're not
broken.
You can get through this.
Now, if this episode spoke toyou, if you're in the dark right
(31:32):
now, if you're only holding onby a thread, I want you to know
this.
You are still here.
And that matters.
Start small.
Notice the sunset.
Write one sentence.
Call one friend.
Take one step.
Say one prayer.
(31:54):
Breathe one deep breath.
And keep going.
Because lives change in thesmallest ways.
I appreciate you guys listeningto this episode.
I know it was a little bit of aheavier topic, but it's one
that's very important to me.
I've gone through this.
I know it's not easy.
Yet I know that it can beovercame.
(32:15):
You can become stronger becauseof it.
You have to have hope.
You have to have faith.
You have to push yourself just alittle bit.
Get uncomfortable.
Because your life is worth waymore than depression.
Will make it seem like it is.
You are worth way more than youthink.
(32:35):
And I'm here for you.
Many people are here for you.
You're not alone in this.
And I'm glad you're still here.
If this episode helped you atall, please share it with a
friend.
I want this one to be this is avery important topic to me.
So if you know anyone who'sstruggling, maybe send it to
(32:55):
them.
Like I said, you can always feelfree to reach out to me on uh in
my DMs or um you can leave acomment.
Doesn't matter.
But just know that you can getthrough this.
I did.
And I didn't think I could.
Yet here I am.
And I'm so grateful that I'mhere.
(33:18):
And I'm glad you're here too.
Thank you guys so much forlistening to this episode.
And as always, keep gettingafter it.
Welcome back, my friends.
I am happy that you're heretoday.
I wanted to kind of have adifferent episode than I usually
do, you know.
Usually I'm talking aboutfitness or having a guest on to
share their story about whatthey've done to get after it.
And uh this is gonna be a littlebit of a heavier episode, so
just uh little warning there,and um, it might upset some
(00:22):
people because we're gonna betalking about men's mental
health.
Um and I'm gonna talk about myown journey, my own story and
what I've had to deal with in mylife, things that have gotten me
through, things that havehelped.
And it's gonna be very honestand real, so I'm not gonna hold
back a lot of the things that II talk about.
And November is men's mentalhealth month.
(00:45):
Um before we go anywhere elsewith this topic, I want to
ground the conversation inreality and and talk about the
actual data behind what our ourI guess really everyone in the
the world in terms of men arefacing.
So the numbers are shocking.
When I when I saw these, um Iwas kind of taken aback a little
(01:08):
bit because like it's it's ascary thing, and we'll talk
about why.
I think it's a a hard thing formen, but um the actual numbers
are shocking.
So globally, one in eight menlive with a diagnosable mental
health disorder.
So that's things likedepression, anxiety, um, you
know, schizophrenia, those kindof things.
(01:30):
Um in the US, it's closer to onein five men.
And that's pretty wild.
Every single year, one in fivemen will get diagnosed with some
kind of mental health disorder.
And I don't like calling themdisorders.
Um honestly, like I look atmental health the same way I
look at being sick, physicallysick.
(01:53):
You know, if your brain isplagued with depression or
anxiety or something else that'sgoing on, um, you would treat it
the same as you would if you hadthe flu.
Like you want to make sure thatyou get taken care of.
And that was something I neverreally understood until I was
married and talked to my wifeabout it.
Um and she helped me understandthat piece is that hey, if you
(02:14):
were sick, you would getantibiotics, you would take care
of your body, you would getrest, you would eat some good
food, and just let your bodypass through and get over this.
Same thing goes for mentalhealth uh disorders and in
problems.
Um, you know, medication is outthere that that helps many men
and and people in general, butum anyways, I I think going back
(02:40):
to the numbers, one thing thatuh as I was doing my research,
many of the experts who weretalking about you know, the the
one in five men every singleyear, um, many of them believe
that those numbers areunder-reported.
They think that they're lowerthan they actually are because
men stay silent.
We're not the best at talkingabout our feelings.
(03:00):
We're not talking, we're not thebest at expressing exactly how
we feel at every single givenmoment.
Um, I've gotten better as theyears have gone gone on, but
still, I I wouldn't say that I'man expert.
Um so nearly half of men saythat they feel more depressed
and they don't tell anyone.
(03:20):
Um, and then here's the darkpart.
Here's the scary thing that whenI read this, I I got sick to my
stomach.
But in 2023, men died by suicideat a rate nearly four times
higher than men.
Men are 50% of the population,but 80% of suicide deaths.
A man dies by suicide in Americaevery 13 minutes.
(03:46):
Every 13 minutes.
Let that sit for a moment.
This is not a small problem.
This is not a men should toughit out problem.
This is a crisis.
It's a quiet one, and it's adeadly one.
And I've been through this.
I really have.
(04:06):
Like, mental health is somethingthat I've struggled with quite
quite a bit.
I've I've had eating disorders,um, I've had states of
depression, and each time I'malways scared when I go through
it.
I think many of the reasons I Iam scared is because like the
thoughts that come into my headare very intrusive.
(04:29):
They I don't want them there,and yet they still show up, and
it's hard to control them.
Um, I'm someone who hyperfocuses on on my thoughts.
Um, I like to think a lot, butwhen those thoughts are
interrupted by you knowdepression or um thoughts of
(04:49):
suicide, like it scares the hellout of me.
And it's it's something that Iwish more men talked about
because I think we face it morethan um like those numbers said,
like they're lower than theyactually are reported to be.
Um but back in around 2023, Iwas going through a big
transition.
(05:10):
Uh at my job, I was I wasworking really hard, um, but
seeing no growth, seeing noopportunity to to find you know
the next step for me in mycareer.
Uh, I was, you know, stillhitting on my numbers and sales
and and doing what I should havedone, but I felt like I was very
stagnant.
And as someone who preaches andtalks about you know personal
(05:33):
growth and and progression andreally trying to do your best,
uh, that did not sit well withme.
And so, you know, the thethoughts started slow, like they
started pretty light.
I would call myself, you know,hey, you're kind of a loser,
like you're not doing much.
And those would progress to likeyou're kind of a terrible guy,
(05:54):
like you're you're not a greatman.
And then those got even worse,and it was like, you should you
should probably die.
Like as hard as that might be tohear, those were like thoughts
that went through my head, andit was scary.
Like, you know, I'm just sittingthere at work, and then all of a
sudden, all these thoughts,these intrusive thoughts, flood
(06:14):
my brain, and that's thescariest part.
They felt automatic.
It was like a virus was in mymind, and I couldn't shut it
off.
And I wasn't myself, I wasn'tgrowing.
And the thing that hurts me themost is I wasn't showing up for
the people that I love.
I was very selfish at this time,and I didn't want help from
(06:38):
anyone.
I thought I'd be able to figureit out on my own.
I thought I was uh strong enoughto be able to do that, and so I
just kept it silent.
I I didn't want to tell anybody,and they just continued to get
worse.
And it felt like I was in somekind of void where I had a loss
of identity, you know, I was nolonger progressing in all these
(07:00):
things, and it affected everysingle, every single aspect of
my life.
It nearly took me out.
Like I was angry, I wasirritable, I was numb, I didn't
feel anything.
And that all led to depression.
And it was a slippery slope, andit it took me a long time to get
out of it, but I've I triedthings like therapy.
(07:23):
I I went on a medication, and Iactually wasn't gonna share that
part because like even mesitting here, like talking about
men's mental health and how youknow I wish that more men would
talk about it and and be able toexpress themselves and um find
help when they needed it.
But I didn't want to talk aboutmy medication because again,
(07:44):
like I I in those thoughts, inthose those times when I was
depressed and I was trying tofigure it out, I thought if I
was to go on some kind ofmedicine, it would a hundred
percent be a sign of weakness onmy part.
And so I I kind of swore thatoff that I wasn't gonna try any
(08:04):
meds.
Um eventually I did, and itactually did help quite a bit.
Um I was diagnosed with OCD, andthe medicine that I'm on is
specifically for those who haveOCD.
Um in that, but like here's thething I wouldn't know if I was
diagnosed with OCD if I didn'tactually go to the the doctor
and talk to them about what wasgoing on and what my thoughts
(08:28):
were like, and and because Ihave OCD, like when I have an
intrusive thought, I willhyperfixate on it and focus on
it and think about it and andreally just dissect every part
of that thought, and it'll takeup my whole day.
It used to take up my whole day.
I've gotten much better now, butum it was a really scary time.
(08:50):
Like I hate to say this, and I'mkind of embarrassed to say it,
but I I want to be honest inthis this conversation, but I
was very not obsessed, but Ithought a lot about taking my
own life.
Um it makes me so sad to saythat now because my life is
great, it's beautiful, and Ihave an amazing wife, and I
(09:12):
cannot even imagine leaving her,um leaving her alone, and
specifically that way.
That is I I just can't imaginedoing that.
Um and I still face some ofthese thoughts, they're not as
strong as they used to be, andI've I've been able to focus on
(09:35):
getting through them instead ofhyperfixating on them, and you
know, that's we'll talk aboutsome of the things that I've
done and things that have helpedme in the past, but um you know
I was nervous during that time.
I was really scared.
Um I didn't know I didn't knowwhat was gonna happen with me.
(09:57):
Um because like I felt so such astrong loss of identity.
Um I was in this transition inmy life, and it was just it was
hard for me to function.
My my mental state was rough.
I was uh, you know, I hadintense brain fog.
I lost a lot of weight.
(10:18):
Um I was a shell of the humanthat I am now.
And it's all because I I letthat boil inside of me and
fester inside of me.
Um up until the point to where Iwas just you know okay with what
was going on in life, and youknow, I didn't care, I didn't
have any passions.
I didn't I didn't want to tryanything, and um, I didn't want
(10:39):
to push myself.
Again, that's a really scarythought because I'm always I've
I like to think that I'm someonewho always tries to to push and
grow.
Um But I I've I've learned a lotabout myself during this time.
Uh but I want to talk about someof the things that have actually
gotten me through it.
So during that time, um I fellin love with sunsets.
(11:03):
That's as weird as that sounds.
Uh, but I I live in Utah, um andthe sunsets up there are so
gorgeous, especially when youknow it goes behind the
mountains, and it's just abeautiful, beautiful thing to
see.
Um, and I remember when I wouldgo out and look at the sunset, I
always told myself that, hey, Itold myself, I'm hey, Brett, I'm
(11:25):
proud of you.
You made it another day.
And there's somethinginteresting about sunsets, you
know, they're beautiful, theyare they're quiet, um, and it's
just peaceful.
Like those are really peacefulmoments for me.
Uh, I remember Jocko, he talkedabout uh he says the same thing
about sunrises, but he says, youknow, he's grateful every day
(11:48):
that he wakes up and he can seeanother sunrise.
And for me, you know, I was justglad that I was able to get
through each day and end it witha sunset.
And I knew if I was able to dothat, if I was able to look
outside, see the sun going down,I would recognize that hey, I'm
still here, I'm still pushing,and I'm gonna get better.
(12:11):
And it was that little moment ofgratitude where I kind of
recognized that, that you canfind beauty in the small things.
Um I remember one night I wasoutside, Allie was in Arizona
because she's she's a pilot downin Mesa.
Um, but I remember I was outsideon our our back patio and um I
was watching the sun go down,and I just felt intense
(12:34):
gratitude.
I I was so grateful that I wasstill here, that I was starting
to feel better, and mostimportantly, I was grateful for
my circumstances.
As strange as that might sound,you know, because I was
depressed and I was in thispretty rough shape, but I was
grateful because there were somany other people out there, and
(12:54):
there's there are so many peopleout there still today who have
situations that are much worsethan mine, yet they find joy.
And there's this quote from umPresident Russell M.
Nelson, he was the last prophetof the Church of Jesus Christ of
Latter-day Saints, but he saysthe the joy in our lives is
(13:17):
directly correlated to what wefocus on.
It's it's that's not the exactquote, but um something along
those lines that our joy in lifeis completely it completely
revolves around what we focuson.
And that is a truth that I havelearned.
Um, because in that time where Iwas depressed and I I had
(13:39):
thoughts of taking my own life,I thought about those things.
And I didn't think about what Ihad, I didn't think about the
things that were going well inmy life, and and little things
like like my physical health andum the fact that I have a loving
wife, and that's not a littlething.
I take that back.
That's a huge thing.
Um, but my physical health, youknow, the the fact that I have a
(14:00):
car, like little tiny things.
I would try and find gratitudein every single day.
I got to the point to where I Ihad a gratitude journal, and I
would start my day just writingdown three things that I was
grateful for.
It's kind of a common thing I Ibelieve many people do, but um
for me at that time, it justallowed me to pause and really
(14:21):
focus on you know what I amgrateful for and what I am um
thankful in my life uh forthings that have that have
happened to me.
Um and going back to thegratitude piece, I started very
small, it began with thosesunsets, and I was just proud I
(14:44):
was able to make it anotheranother day.
But that was gratitude in itssimplest form.
And slowly it changed me.
Like it's not gonna be anovernight change for you, and
and it wasn't for me.
And so I want to make that clearlike gratitude is not gonna be
the um it's not gonna be themagic potion that cures you of
your mental health issues.
No, I don't think that's thecase, but I think it's in a an a
(15:07):
very powerful catalyst to getyou out of the situation.
Um it doesn't erase the pain, itgives you a place to stand
though while you heal.
And gratitude became my anchorand almost my reset button.
Like my reminder that even whenlife feels unbearable, there are
things worth noticing, worthvaluing, and worth staying alive
(15:32):
for.
Uh, over the years, I've I'vehad conversations with close
friends, um, you know, mybrothers and and other men in my
life, and the pattern is alwayspretty similar.
Uh, we carry pressure, uh we weput a lot of pressure on
ourselves, men do.
(15:52):
Just with you know, providingand working hard, uh trying to
take care of the people in ourlives.
We suppress what we feel.
We don't want to burn it atburden anyone.
We don't want to look weak.
And we don't want to fail thepeople who are counting on us.
(16:13):
If you're a man, I'm sure one ofthose things rang true to you.
I'm sure you have dealt with oneof those thoughts before.
You know, you don't want toburden anybody, so why would you
tell them about your problems?
You don't want to be that guy.
I was definitely, I had thosethoughts.
You don't want to look weak.
You know, if you go and you asksomeone for help, you might not
(16:34):
be the strong man that youalways thought you were.
I faced that.
I really faced that.
That was a hard thing for me togo through.
And you don't want to fail thepeople counting on us.
This was always something that II struggle with as well.
Like, I didn't want to go to mywife and say, hey, Al, I'm
depressed.
(16:54):
I'm having a hard time.
Because I didn't want her tolose her faith in me as a man,
to be able to, you know, handlethe hardships of life, to be
able to continue on and find thejoy.
I didn't want to tell her that.
I didn't I didn't want to feellike I was failing her because,
you know, I'm married to thisbeautiful, amazing woman, and
(17:17):
I'm depressed.
I didn't want her to think thatthat was because of her.
And I've learned that silence isnot a strength.
It's a killer.
And I mean that in the in themost true terms.
It is not uh a strength to besilent.
It is going to it it I won't sayit's gonna kill you, but um it's
(17:41):
not good.
That is not a good thing to do.
The men around me who finallyopened up to me and and they
talked to me, it was becausethey wanted to.
And they did it because, youknow, they thought they were
breaking.
And every single one of themsaid so pretty much the same
thing afterwards.
(18:02):
Or something along these lines,but very similar.
I didn't know talking about itwould help this much.
It's a simple thing to do, butit's hard.
It's simple, but it's not easy.
Opening up about your feelingsand talking about them.
I'm still pretty trash abouttalking about my feelings.
(18:23):
I I have a hard time expressingmyself, and um Allie always says
this.
She's always like, You wear youremotions on your face.
And so she's like, Are youupset?
And I'm like, No.
And I just I look like I'm mad,like I'm like this.
And she's like, Are you upset?
I'm like, no.
Um, but really, like I I alwaysthought, you know, just
(18:44):
suppressing it was the rightthing to do when in reality
that's that's the worst.
Um so let's talk about some ofthe things that have really
helped me.
Um first, and I bet you canguess what it is, but running.
Running is is the probably oneof the most important things I
(19:07):
can do for my mental health.
Um, I believe it's a mirror.
And I also believe that thatrunning saved me in more ways
than one.
Not because you know, endurancesports magically fix everything,
they don't, but because running,running forced me to be honest,
it forces honesty.
There's this great quote fromCameron Hand.
(19:28):
No, I think it's from DavidGoggins.
David Goggins, where he says,you can't fake suffering.
You have to be completely realwhen you're suffering.
And that is true.
Like you have to deal with yourthoughts.
When you run, you can't escapeyour thoughts.
Um, you can't distract yourselfwith screens or with noise.
(19:48):
Like you might be able to playsome music or listen to
podcasts, but at the end of theday, your thoughts are going to
be more powerful than those.
And you can't hide from thetruth.
Just yesterday, I was out in theSantan Mountains with Drew, and
we were running.
Um like it was cold in themorning.
It was beautiful though.
Like we were watching thesunrise as we were running, but
somehow during the run we gotseparated.
(20:09):
Um, I came down a pass and Ijust kept going and um I was
feeling good, so I justmaintained my speed.
And all of a sudden I turnaround and I don't know where
Drew is.
Um, and I didn't have headphoneson that because usually when we
go running together, I liketalking to him the whole time.
So I didn't have any headphones,and the only thing I had was my
thoughts, and it really hit meat that time.
(20:29):
Like, running is my mirror, it'sit's my outlet.
Um, it's my reminder thatdiscomfort won't kill me.
Like, that's that's really it.
If I'm uncomfortable in asituation, it's not gonna kill
me.
And every time I run, I face thethings that I've been avoiding
in my head.
And by the time I finish, thatweight that I've been carrying
(20:50):
feels a little bit lighter.
Um, you might not understandthis until you actually go and
try it.
And so this might be my mychallenge for you is if you are
dealing with some kind of mentalchallenge right now, you don't
even have to go for a run.
Maybe it's just a walk.
But just be alone with yourthoughts.
Just think about the things thatare bothering you.
(21:10):
And when you're walking orrunning, you're gonna have
better thoughts.
Come because you're you'removing your body.
And I don't know why, but thosetwo things kind of go hand in
hand is your thinking power andyour your movement.
Um so that's just a couplethings.
But every time I run, the reasonI say it's my mirror is because
(21:33):
I you look in the mirror, yousee yourself.
Like you're looking directly atyourself.
And when I'm running, it'salmost like my a mirror for my
thoughts.
Like I have to go in there, Ihave to go into my brain and
think about what's going on,what I want to focus on.
Like, if I'm thinking about apodcast, I'll think about
(21:53):
certain topics or or quotes orstories that I've heard that
might be relevant.
Um, I'll think about JesusChrist.
Uh, I think about him a lot whenI'm running, uh, and just how
grateful I am for him.
But really, it's just a time forme to think.
And whatever's on my mind thatday, that's usually the thing
that is top of mind on my run.
(22:15):
So that has helped me quite abit.
And I know running's not foreverybody, but I will say
there's a few others that I Iwrote down that um have helped
me too.
So if you listen to the podcast,you know I'm a big journaling
guy, and this is another thing Iwould suggest.
Write down your thoughts thatyou're too scared to speak.
(22:38):
The ones that you're afraid toeven look at.
Write them down, put themsomewhere outside of your head,
get them out there, and let thembreathe.
Let those thoughts be there.
And I also love journalingbecause it shows your your
thoughts over time.
Like now I have a catalog of allmy my journals um for about
(23:04):
three years now.
Um, so I have three years worthof journals in my Apple notes,
and I can go back to the timeswhere I knew I was struggling
and read those.
And when I look back on themnow, it doesn't even feel like
it's my own writing because Iwas such in a different
headspace.
Um, but it gives me hope.
(23:26):
And it gives me hope because Iknow if I ever have to deal with
this again, I'll get through it.
So that's why I love journalingso much.
It just gives me a chance to getmy thoughts out of my head, to
write them down and leave themthere.
The other thing is gratitude.
Like, like I said, you can startwith three things each morning
(23:47):
that you're grateful for.
You can write them down, uh, putthem in your phone, uh, you
could text them to yourself,like it doesn't matter.
But that's a simple exercisethat at least shows you that you
do have more things to begrateful for than you thought.
Big or small, it doesn't matter.
But gratitude rewires yourperception of reality and what
you have and the things that aregoing well in your life.
(24:08):
Because a lot of the times wekind of overlook many of the
things we should be grateful forbecause life moves fast, we're
distracted, or we're doingsomething else, like we're busy.
So take a moment and pause andthink about what you do have to
be grateful for.
The third thing kind of goesalong with running, but I would
just say hard exercise ingeneral, like not for the
(24:31):
aesthetics, not for looking, butreally for your mind.
Uh, movement clears mental foglike nothing else for me.
And I've looked at the researchon this particular uh piece of
what we're talking about withworking out in your your mental
thoughts, and almost allpsychologists say that it is
(24:54):
very important for you to moveyour body.
You know, humans are not meantto be stagnant.
So if you're sitting around alot, if you're not moving very
much, that'll add up.
And your body needs to move.
I almost look at exercise askind of like a vitamin.
And you know, you take a vitaminevery day and you're supposed to
start feeling better, it'ssupposed to, you know, take care
(25:16):
of you.
If you're taking D3, like itbuilds you your immunity.
Um, you know, there's allcertain things that these
supplements and these vitaminsdo for your body.
Uh, but exercise is almost likea vitamin for the mind.
And the body too.
Like it's really good for you.
But it clears out your mind.
Because when you're doingsomething incredibly hard,
(25:37):
you're not gonna be focusing onon what's bothering you.
You're gonna be focusing onmaking sure you don't die with
this exercise.
You're gonna be pushingyourself.
Um the fifth one, the fifth oneis the most important to me.
And it's faith.
Like, I know that God carried methrough the moments that I
(25:59):
couldn't carry myself.
I still believe that today.
I know that Jesus Christabsolutely understands every
single thing that I go through.
He suffered for all of us, notjust for our sins, but all our
emotional pains too.
And I know that is true becausehe did it for me.
(26:22):
I would pray to him every singlenight, and I would I would pray
for extra strength.
And I received it.
I got that strength.
I'm still here today.
And let me tell you, thethoughts that I had, the
intrusive suicidal thoughts,were so strong.
It was scary.
(26:43):
I didn't recognize myself.
But I knew Jesus Christ knewexactly how I felt.
And I would just think about hima lot, and uh he helped me.
Um He helped me quite a bit, andhe still does today, but having
my faith rooted in the gospel ofJesus Christ was the number one
(27:08):
thing that kept me going.
I knew I was gonna be able toget through it, I knew that um
Christ could help me through.
And there's a verse, I can'tremember where it is, but where
Christ in the New Testamentsays, Come all those who are
(27:29):
something along these lines, butall those who are heavy laden,
come unto me, and I will giveyou rest.
And I trusted that, and I I hadto believe that that was the
case, that God was going to beable to give me rest from my
situation, from these thoughts,from the fact that I wanted to
take my life.
(27:50):
I wanted rest from all those,and I wanted it so bad, and the
only reason I got it was becauseof Christ.
He gave me strength, he pushedme through, and he carried me
when I couldn't carry myself.
You might not be someone whobelieves in God, someone who but
doesn't believe in Jesus Christ,but believe in something greater
(28:13):
than yourself and hope forsomething greater.
Like Jesus Christ gives me hope.
And if I have hope, I can keepgoing.
Even when life is dark, evenwhen I do have those intrusive
thoughts, He pushes me along andhe helps me through it.
It's one of those things thatyou have to practice in order to
really see the benefit of.
(28:35):
But I'm telling you, it's itworks, and it is true, and I
will talk to anyone about thatif they want to learn more.
Reach out to me.
But for men, this is the thing Iwant you to take away from this
episode.
Is if yeah, if there's one thingthat I want you to leave with
(28:55):
today, it's these.
One, you are not alone.
There's so many men who gothrough this.
You're not alone, you're notbroken, you're not some anomaly.
It's it's completely natural.
Like recognize you're not aloneand that there's people who want
to help.
If you need help and you don'tknow who to ask, ask me.
(29:17):
I will I will call you, I willjump on Instagram, DM you,
whatever you need.
I will do it.
But you are not alone.
And the second is that this isnot permanent.
It might feel like it is, itmight have been going on for
years.
Um, I know some people,unfortunately, have depressive
episodes that last years.
(29:38):
Um, but it will end.
And I'm telling you, you musthave hope for that.
You have to believe that that isthe case, and you have to work
towards it.
Like, do not just sit around andbe idle during this time.
Focus on what you need to do.
Focus on what the next step isgoing to be.
You can find it, but you have tojust maintain the mind.
(30:00):
Momentum and have hope that thisis not gonna be your life
forever.
Because it wasn't my lifeforever.
My life, like I said, isbeautiful and I love it.
And I'm so grateful for thethings that I'm able to do and
for the fact that I'm stillhere.
That's a big one for me, is thatI'm still here.
I am I am pushing myself, I amliving life, I go through my own
(30:24):
struggles, but I get to see asunset every night.
And that's something that isvery important to me.
And if I was going back tomyself in those moments where I
where I struggled a lot and Iwas having those thoughts of
suicide, and I didn't want to bethere anymore, I would tell
myself that there is a futureversion of yourself, Brett, that
(30:47):
is worth fighting for.
There is a future for you, andyou need to have hope in that
and you need to work towards it.
It's worth fighting for.
Also, there are people who loveyou more deeply than you even
(31:09):
realize, and you are strongerthan the thoughts that are
trying to break you.
You're not broken.
Thoughts might might tell youthat you are, but you're not
broken.
You can get through this.
Now, if this episode spoke toyou, if you're in the dark right
(31:32):
now, if you're only holding onby a thread, I want you to know
this.
You are still here.
And that matters.
Start small.
Notice the sunset.
Write one sentence.
Call one friend.
Take one step.
Say one prayer.
(31:54):
Breathe one deep breath.
And keep going.
Because lives change in thesmallest ways.
I appreciate you guys listeningto this episode.
I know it was a little bit of aheavier topic, but it's one
that's very important to me.
I've gone through this.
I know it's not easy.
Yet I know that it can beovercame.
(32:15):
You can become stronger becauseof it.
You have to have hope.
You have to have faith.
You have to push yourself just alittle bit.
Get uncomfortable.
Because your life is worth waymore than depression.
Will make it seem like it is.
You are worth way more than youthink.
(32:35):
And I'm here for you.
Many people are here for you.
You're not alone in this.
And I'm glad you're still here.
If this episode helped you atall, please share it with a
friend.
I want this one to be this is avery important topic to me.
So if you know anyone who'sstruggling, maybe send it to
(32:55):
them.
Like I said, you can always feelfree to reach out to me on uh in
my DMs or um you can leave acomment.
Doesn't matter.
But just know that you can getthrough this.
I did.
And I didn't think I could.
Yet here I am.
And I'm so grateful that I'mhere.
(33:18):
And I'm glad you're here too.
Thank you guys so much forlistening to this episode.
And as always, keep gettingafter it.
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