The House just passed Trump’s Megabill in a razor-thin 218–214 vote, meeting his Independence Day deadline, after a night of drama, pizza deliveries, and one record-breaking speech from Hakeem Jeffries that lasted longer than your last situationship:)
Speaker Mike Johnson wrangled just enough GOP votes after a marathon of negotiations, late-night calls from Trump, and promises that may or may not involve future bills and commemorative MAGA mugs.
Only two Republicans—Brian Fitzpatrick and Thomas Massie voted no. Everyone else? Either got sweet-talked or feared a Truth Social takedown.
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