Have Yinz Met Scott Kelley?

Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
What's up, everybody Welcome.

Speaker 2 (00:02):
Yeah, welcome to Gilded Trash, season 2, episode
4.
We don't know the title yet,but we'll let you know when we
know.

Speaker 1 (00:13):
And boy do, we got a doozy.

Speaker 2 (00:16):
We do, oh, my Atlanta .

Speaker 1 (00:19):
The first time ever on the Gilded Trash podcast, we
will have a guest.
That guest is not just a guest,that guest is not just any
guest Amazon comedian you knowwhat I mean.
Like not just somerun-of-the-mill guy that I know,
it's a real deal, somebody thathas a special on Amazon Prime.

Speaker 2 (00:37):
That's right.
Word of mouth is special.

Speaker 1 (00:40):
Yeah, scott Kelly and he'll be joining us here real
soon.
So I mean, he's his Amazonspecial drop two weeks ago.
Go check it out.
It's called word of mouth, Um,and he's going to be joining us
here momentarily.

Speaker 2 (00:52):
But in the meantime, um, I'm just going to go ahead
and throw this out there, if youdidn't see my promo earlier
today.
Um, we did meet up with Scotton Saturday to record this
podcast episode, and Alana Bforgot to hit the record button
for the first time in an entireyear of 40.

Speaker 1 (01:10):
Oh, it was so good.
It was so good.
I'm sorry, You'll never knowthough.

Speaker 3 (01:16):
You'll never know.

Speaker 2 (01:18):
I think we can recapture, though, that the
beauty of hanging out withfriends on a podcast is that
there's always a lot to talkabout, especially when you're
friends.

Speaker 1 (01:26):
Oh my God, it won't be the same, but it'll be good.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
It'll be good.
So I don't know if this isgoing to stay in the podcast,
but I'm going to talk about itanyway because I'm just kind of
biting my tongue just in caseshit goes awry this weekend.
But I am like my gut is inknots to have my next guest on
trash panda social club, whichis one miss ashley poe, daughter

(01:54):
of subab white of the wild andwonderful whites.
We're gonna talk about itbecause that's one of the things
is like when that movie cameout, if you were in the pop
culture crowd that watched it ordocumentary it's not a movie,
but when the to watch it.
But I fell in love with thosepeople.

(02:15):
They're like awesome andthere's so many quotable moments
in that show.

Speaker 1 (02:31):
Dennis, is this Dennis?

Speaker 2 (02:33):
is this Wherever you are.

Speaker 1 (02:34):
Dennis.
Dennis is this.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
That's right.
So I actually started followingKirk on TikTok this week and
she's selling a shirt that hasTyler saying Dennis is this.

Speaker 1 (02:48):
That's the best.
Dennis is this.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Yes, that's what.
I'm saying there's so many, hi,dennis.

Speaker 1 (02:55):
This is what you are.

Speaker 2 (02:58):
There's so many quotable moments in that
documentary I can't even take it.
Boone County, mate and Call.

Speaker 1 (03:06):
Boone County Mate and Call right here, call right
here.

Speaker 2 (03:08):
Yeah, I mean all of it.
I mean it's all good.

Speaker 1 (03:09):
I don't want no sloppy slimy eggs.
I held a knife up to her.
Well said woman, don't you makeme no sloppy slimy eggs here I
can't even take it he's likeready to kill her over some eggs
.
That's wild.
He says it on a PBS documentary.
What were the people at PBSthinking when they were like who

(03:31):
the fuck is this guy?
He's like I had a knife rightthere, Threat Tower, nose Slimey
, slimy eggs.

Speaker 2 (03:39):
Was it Ken Burns?

Speaker 1 (03:40):
No, because it was called Dancing Outlaw.
It was back in the early 90s.

Speaker 2 (03:46):
You're absolutely right.
Well see, and that's why Ithink I told you, I got a couple
things conflated, because in mybrain Billy Bob Thornton says
that in the movie Tombstone, andso I don't know how that ever
got conflated in my brain, otherthan he, who we shall not name,
but it's like maybe it is inthe movie.

(04:06):
I'm going to have to go backand watch the movie, that's all
I'm saying, but I feel likesloppy slimy eggs is another
quote from that.
You know there's so many goodquotes from the documentary, but
I'm going to save the emotionalparts for what.
I'm talking with Ashley.
I am just so excited, likeSaturday, I'm going to be like a

(04:28):
little kid at Christmas time,all day, until she's like hey,
I'm ready to record, anyways.

Speaker 1 (04:36):
We'll be busy recording.

Speaker 2 (04:39):
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (04:40):
Oh, dutch love yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Yeah.
So if you guys do not know thisabout us, we both actually
write parody songs.
Scott's been writing them sincehe was a young'un.
I've been writing them since Iwas a young'un.

Speaker 1 (05:05):
We haven't talked about it over the years but once
you started singing and ruiningsome of my favorite songs uh,
how niche I get is.
I wrote an entire system of adown album not the whole thing,
but I selections uh all based asif they were michael jackson
singing about uh children so anduh, I mean, of course you know

(05:26):
there was more than that.
One particular thing that I'mvery good at is writing songs as
if they were from theperspective of Michael Jackson,
trying to get children to thetune of rock classics such as
Preschool City, unmolested.
Who could forget some of theother classics?
Put Some Weed in the Pipe, suchas Preschool City, unmolested.
Yeah, who could forget some ofthe other classics?

(05:47):
Put Some Wheat in the Pipe tothe tune of Pour Some Sugar on
Me?
That's one of my best ones.
Toby Keith should have been apothead Scott's getting ready to
join.

Speaker 2 (05:57):
but what did you say right before that?
What was your best one?

Speaker 1 (06:04):
Oh, the Put Some Whe weed in the pipe.
Come on, fire it up, you knowoh my I can't remember the.
I'd have to sit down and reallythink about it, but I had it
all you know it's green, stickysweet, from the bud to the leaf.
Yeah, digga, digga, digga,digga, digga, digga.

(06:29):
You know I sang it for you, youdon't remember no I don't.
It's a classic babe.
It's a classic on the Scottstation.

Speaker 2 (06:44):
Yeah, so long story short.

Speaker 1 (06:47):
Or, for some reason, all the country music songs are
about being gay.

Speaker 2 (06:53):
What's that one?

Speaker 1 (06:55):
The Biggest Dicks in Texas, or I Just Got Started
Fucking Dudes.
You're a nut Long Black Traintrain, but it's a different name
.

Speaker 2 (07:11):
No, I'm kidding I can't even with you.
So, anyways, what I decided todo was we are going to spend
saturday recording skits of the.
We'll call them parodies.
I like to call some of thembastardizations.

Speaker 1 (07:28):
I like to call them reimaginings.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Kind of like the Wiz.

Speaker 1 (07:32):
Yeah, but with less women no women.
You know what I'm talking about.
Zack and Mary make a porno, andhe's like more of a reimagining
.
He's like, oh, like the Wiz,and he's like's like it's a re.
He's like more of a reimagining.
He's like, oh, like the whiz.

Speaker 2 (07:49):
And he's like, yeah, but with less women no women as
a matter of fact, oh my god, didyou see the um, the reel that
kevin smith did where he wasback in the monroe vale mall?

Speaker 1 (08:00):
no, no, I saw the one with the church thing, but yeah
, he's been doing a Pittsburghtour.

Speaker 2 (08:14):
It's crazy how many things he did in Pittsburgh
Dogma, Zack and Mary.
I'm sure there's probably otherstuff.
I have to look.
I wonder if Chase and Amy wasdone out there too, because that
feels like a Pennsylvania, Ifelt like that was more like in
Jersey.

Speaker 1 (08:22):
They're either like in New.
All those movies are eitherJersey or Pittsburgh.

Speaker 2 (08:26):
Where's that one?
Where's that Brian guy fromthat's on the the floor.

Speaker 1 (08:34):
Brian, brian, oh, the clerk's guy.
Yeah, yeah, I don't know, I'mnot sure.

Speaker 2 (08:41):
Well, cause it says he lives in Pennsylvania now and
I'm'm trying to figure out ifwe're going to run into him at a
Pittsburgh comedy show or if heoh, I think he does live out by
, Probably out by Jersey Philly.
That's what I was wonderingthose guys never leave that area
.

Speaker 1 (08:56):
If they're from there , they don't ever leave.
They love it there.
They can't get a good hoagieanywhere else, so they stay.
That's why they never leave.
What's up, man?

Speaker 3 (09:07):
What's up Now?
It worked.
It had to actually like whenyou gave me a link earlier this
week, I just was able to justclick on it and go right through
it, but this time I actuallyhad to copy and paste it in.
I don't know, that's strange.

Speaker 2 (09:20):
Weird.

Speaker 1 (09:25):
I don't know.
I don't know, but we'redefinitely recording.
I can see the thing at the topnow, so we're good.
Well, there you go.
You don't understand, dude.

Speaker 2 (09:35):
Like she was like uh, beside herself for like two
days about that well, becauseI'm an automation specialist at
work, like my literal job is toautomate health care, and I
develop and program and havepatents and can't get an app to

(09:55):
work in my favor I wasfrustrated.

Speaker 1 (09:58):
I mean that tracks that sounds about right I'm
sorry.

Speaker 3 (10:03):
No, I know what it feels like, like when I when I
was gonna quietly quit doingcomedy and I was gonna like,
well, I'm gonna take all thestuff I've had from 2019, which
is a lot of good stuff and then,like when my hard drive said,
hey, there's something wrong,can we fix it?
And so I just like yes, andthen I did that.
It wiped everything away andand I was like beside myself for

(10:25):
two weeks like, okay.
So I started looking throughother hard drives nothing,
nothing, nothing.
And then I finally found a bagof old stuff and there was some
SD cards in there and I lookedin through it and I was like, oh
, this is stuff from like 2011to 2015.
Like, oh, well, that's all Igot, this is what I used.

(10:47):
And I just patched worktogether and put out that
self-produced album which I hateso much.
I hate it.
But uh, I'm proud of my special.
But, like that thing, it wasjust cobbled together.
I always take a joke.
Oh, hey, people laugh at thisone.
All right, there we go.
All people laugh at this joke.
I'm gonna play right besidethat one.
I'm just snipping it alltogether.
That's why it's's called Bitsand Pieces, but yeah, when can
you find that one?

(11:09):
at when do I find it?
At what do you mean?
Where do I find it For thealbum?

Speaker 2 (11:13):
Where can I find the album if I want to go check it
out?

Speaker 3 (11:17):
Spotify, itunes, I think it's on YouTube as well,
but music stuff.
I think they made a channel forme.
I think I found it like.
I try to connect it with my.
Oh yeah, I did.
I try to connect with my actualyoutube account but some reason
they won't work with each other, for whatever reason.
So, but there's two differentaccounts.
But yeah, you can find it onthere.
It's stuff you guys never evenheard.

(11:38):
There are some darks, there'ssome very dark stuff in that.
That was early years.
There was like a cancer jokeabout kids and stuff.
I was like it's stuff I don'tdo now, so it's pretty dark
that's funny.
Now I definitely have to checkit out I'd say please don't, but
you're gonna do it anyway.

Speaker 1 (11:56):
So yeah, I mean but it doesn't bother me like I, you
can ask her like I.

Speaker 3 (12:03):
I I mean, it doesn't bother me.

Speaker 1 (12:03):
You can ask her.
I mean, it doesn't bother me inthe least.

Speaker 3 (12:06):
I was just going to say I have 206 Spotify followers
from this horrible album whichI'm like I want to get this
special on there.
And that's been a battle, Ithink I told you guys last time.
They told me that spoken wordcomedy albums every track has to
be above three minutes and Iwas like, okay, well, why didn't
my Bits and Pieces album?

(12:28):
That's because I labeled itsomething else and that's why it
works.
I have tracks in there that arelike 30 seconds.
I was like, well, that oneworked, why didn't this one work
?
So then I just got word fromthem yesterday.
They're like, well, you'regoing to have to delete every
single thing that you did.
You know you can find thisalbum.
It's on Amazon and a bunch ofplaces.

(12:48):
It's everywhere, but Spotify,my special as far as the audio
goes.
So like I'm going to have todelete it all and start from
scratch and they're giving me arebate to start over again.
So at least they're doing that.
Oh, that's good again.
So, at least they're doing that.

Speaker 1 (13:07):
but oh, that's good, yeah, it's it's the trials and
tribulations man, with all thisstuff.
Yeah, that's exactly rightthat's what I tried to tell her.
I was like listen, I was likehe'll understand.
I was like it's shit happens,it's out, it's, it's, it's over.

Speaker 2 (13:20):
Now we can't get it back if only there were people
who would do this for us.

Speaker 3 (13:24):
I don't know that would be lovely.
I would love to have a producerand everything else like that.
You know, doing these things.
I had an idea for a podcast wasgonna be called reaching, where
it'd just be like the title ofit or the pitch would be here's
me and here's everybody else andI'm talking to these people I
have no business talking to.
It's called reaching, so thatwas the idea we tried to find

(13:48):
people to do like, to do it likecomedians, other people, and
nobody ever got back to us.
So, uh, that is still uh groundzero.

Speaker 2 (13:56):
So you're still reaching.

Speaker 3 (14:01):
I'm trying and maybe someone will say yes, it'll be
my one and only guest, it'll bemy only episode, and then
that'll be it that show that'son HBO Max.

Speaker 1 (14:10):
It's called the Rehearsal no, I've not seen that
well, if you ever, if you get achance, check it out because it
is.
They're getting ready torelease a new season, but like
the first season is I mean it is.
If you like Nathan Pugh, you'lllike it.
Because season is I mean it isif you like nathan for you,
you'll like it, because it is soridiculous.
So basically is what it is islike he sets it up so people can

(14:31):
rehearse a moment in their lifebefore like it happens, and
like the lengths that he goes toto like make this happen is
just ridiculous and it's funnyit's it is.
It's it's bizarre to watch.
You're like, but it's cool,Like you it's.
It's one of those things you'relike.

(14:53):
What am I watching?
I don't even know, but I likeit.

Speaker 3 (14:57):
No, I get it.
I don't hear that one episodewhere he had a girl tell him I
love you over and over again,just so he could get emotional
and cry.
Oh my god, I laughed at it.

Speaker 1 (15:12):
I couldn't stop watching it.
No, I know that's how that showis.
You're not exactly sure what itis, but you can't turn away.
You're like this is too weird.
I don't know what made me thinkabout that.

Speaker 3 (15:26):
But no, no, I I didn't have a.
I have a sketch character Iused to do, called um peaches
and stitches.
It was me and my wife's uh pinkbathrobe with uh weird cap on
my head, and my lover was thisfake dead Halloween hand called
Stitches.
So I would talk in a voice likehi everybody, I would just talk

(15:50):
like that.
I did an episode of him tryingto create a peanut butter
sandwich.
I did an episode where he'strying to do suicide prevention
but it ends up trying to killhimself in the end.
Oh my God, weird stuff.
And people ask for it.
In fact, whenever I used to bewith um issues entertainment,
people requested I come out inpublic and do it.

(16:12):
So after one of the shows uh,the comedy stand comedy shows I
did a q a as peaches and likepeople stayed.
I thought the whole it was likesold out, like 120 people and I
thought for sure no one's gonnastick around for this.
All came around to see thisweird.
I only did two videos with theguy, but yet it was so weird
that people stuck around for it.
I don't know.

Speaker 1 (16:34):
That's interesting, though.
I mean it's weird what peoplerespond to sometimes, I think.

Speaker 3 (16:40):
I know I've only ever done it twice.
Missy's like oh, by the way, mywife wanted to say she wanted
me specifically to say this toyou hey.

Speaker 2 (16:47):
Hey, I do want to give her a shout out.
That's why I said shout out toyour stylist, which you said you
did some of.
But real recognizes real,that's what I'm going to say.
Real recognizes real, that'swhat I'm going to say.
And behind every four-year-oldstand-up comic is a badass bitch

(17:11):
that's encouraging them.
So did she actually in theearly years, did she record a
lot of your stuff for you?
Yeah?

Speaker 3 (17:21):
Prior to kids.
It was a lot of fun too.
I mean, not having kids was bad.
I'm not saying it killedeverything, but right, right,
like in the earlier years whenit was just the two of us, like,
yeah, she, we went everywhere,we had a blast doing stuff.
Uh, she recorded all my sets.
We watch them and get feedback.
Like, if you early years versusnow, I in the early years I was

(17:48):
more um a lot.
I was all over the place.
I was very physical, with mybody on stage, doing all kinds
of voice impersonations.
I would get in the floor and dostuff.
I was very out there, man.
And then now you see, you guyssee me now I'm just very I stand
still, I'm tactical and I justsay what I want to say.
But, like, the early years wasnot like that, it was completely
different.

Speaker 2 (18:04):
So that was one of the things that you and I talked
about after we watched thespecial.
Was that, um, on the special,you were so natural, so
comfortable, and sometimesduring the open mics, I feel
like you're a little more rigid,and I'm not sure why.
Because you're just likenaturally funny, just be

(18:25):
yourself.
No, listen to me, give anadvice, I'm just saying Be
yourself.

Speaker 3 (18:29):
No, no, no, Because the open, like I'm doing so much
new material and I get sonervous, so nervous with that
stuff, it comes off not sonatural with doing that and I
don't feel comfortable.
I'm outside myself like I stillhave never gotten used to like
when I do all brand new of theup and mics, gotten used to like

(18:51):
that feeling, oh well, if itdoesn't work, it doesn't work.
I just still get so concernedand so worried and I just become
natural like it isn't a special, you know it, just I.

Speaker 2 (19:03):
I I'm trying to break from that, but but I mean, it's
what allows you to get to thatpoint where you are natural too,
so you refine it until you feelcomfortable.
I get it.
I I watch you guys.
I see now I'm joking, but Imean, um, yeah, like I, after we
did the the episode on Saturday, I was like I could envision

(19:25):
you being like the host of ashow, not just like stand up,
but I can see you on, like Imean, some people don't screen
test.

Speaker 3 (19:36):
Well, I feel like you would screen test well no, I, I
could see that took actingclasses and, uh, junior high
school and college.
In my college class, theteacher I was just doing it as a
general education class and shepulled me aside and she was
like you need to do this, youhave the charisma, you have the
humor, you need to go for this.

(19:59):
And I was like nah, and I didn'tdo it and like three years
later I went and started doingstand-up comedy.
But yeah, he encouraged me todo it.
We had a cool scene with myscene partner, a guy named Brian
McPhee.
We are supposed to bring humorand then the humor slowly
descends into tension and angerand we get into a fight.
And I was sick at the time so Icouldn't practice a lot with

(20:21):
him.
So we kind of just did it drycold, for it was our final exam
for that class and did it kindof cold, but like it felt more
natural because we actually gotinto those faces, threw each
other to the ground and gotphysical and she's like nobody
in our class has ever doneanything like that.
So I I enjoy doing that and Iknow I would test.
Well someone ever gives me achance Um that sounds like your

(20:47):
FFA story, babe.

Speaker 2 (20:49):
Like Scott Reed, I have to differentiate the Scots.
So Scott Reed has a history ofpublic speaking and competitive
public speaking as well, um, andhe has like a champion story
behind it.
It's not a champion story.

Speaker 1 (21:03):
It's not a champion story, it's just in high school
I did like competitive, likepublic speaking for like FFA and
different things.
You know what I mean, and I wasjust really good at it.
That's why I told her I justlearned it at early age how to
bullshit adults, and not thesame as like lying to them.
I mean you can learn a lot, butlike to just really bullshit

(21:25):
them Like I just was really goodat that.
So they were all like you're sogood at this.

Speaker 3 (21:30):
Let me ask you do you remember what your first joke
ever was?
Do you remember Like, not evencomedy, but like going back?
You remember what it was?

Speaker 1 (21:39):
Yeah, oh, I definitely so, I definitely do.
So this was this.
The joke itself will dateitself.
So you know, swatch watches,right?
So they just put Swiss andwatch together and came up with
Swatch.
Well, how lucky are weAmericans that Croatians didn't

(21:59):
invent a watch, because whenthey make it the crotch and
think about the situations thatwill put you in, you'd be like
what time is it?
I don't know, let me check mycrotch, or what?
Um, I had another tag there,and then the last one was um, it
takes a licking and keeps onticking.
So I mean, but that that I wasprobably like 13 or something

(22:23):
like that.

Speaker 3 (22:23):
When I wrote that, but that I was probably like 13
or something like that.
When.

Speaker 2 (22:27):
I wrote that that's awesome dude.

Speaker 3 (22:28):
That's great.
You had a lot, so it's a twofer.
Uh, my first joke I ever toldlike I kept a private log of
jokes when I was in like gradeschool, but when I got to junior
high my first spoken theme wasthis girl who made phrases.
We had a gym teacher who lookedlike um, richard's or not?
Oh, what's his name?

(22:49):
Oh, not, richard sim.
Yeah, richard simmons, he's,he's, he's the, the fitness yeah
, yeah, yeah yeah, he lookedlike richard simmons.
He had that big afro, the tightshorts and everything like that
going way up.
So his his name, um, was mrsankey.
And so this girl in the class,uh, was putting on her makeup
and everything.
And the teacher said, uh toldher to put that way, you're not

(23:12):
supposed to do that.
And I just said out loud it'sbecause she's getting ready for
mr sankey and like that, just so.
That was my first hey.
And the teacher laughed at itand she's like, okay, no more
from you.
And I was like, oh my god, if Ican make a teacher laugh, I can
get away with it.
You know, that was that's whatthat taught me um, yeah my first

(23:34):
actual joke, joke though, thatI actually thought of to write
down, there's never.
When george wb bus waspresident, he choked on a roll
gold pretzel.
Do you guys remember that?
Yeah, yeah, I do so.
He choked on a roll goldpretzel pretzel.
Do you guys remember that?
Yeah, yeah, I do so.
He choked on a roll-goldpretzel and the Secret Service
had to save him.
And my joke went do you imagineif, like I was telling my
friends, imagine if, like hedied, we'd learn about all the
greats that died in office?

(23:54):
You have JFK assassinated, youhave Abraham Lincoln
assassinated, george W Bushpretzeled and that and that was.
That was all.
I think I was geez, 14, maybe15, when that happened.
So then, and then I had a Iwould take in school.

(24:15):
Um, I did it my a lot of times.
I almost got in trouble.
I thought I was gonna getexpelled at one point for this.
But, um, I would take thoseinformational tablets or books
of like drinking and heroin andmarijuana, and I would write
jokes and all of them and like,add tags to them all the time
and, like you, got around to theschool to like, teachers were
wanting to know who is writingthese things, these books like

(24:37):
that and I had to take them alland hide them Cause I was afraid
someone would look.
Compare my writing with this.
Like Kelly, scott, kelly, butanyways, um.
Someone would like compare mywriting with this like kelly
it's got kelly, but anyways, um.
So yeah, there's.
There's that, and I wrote avery um at age 10.
I wrote a very dark andperverted story about all my

(24:58):
friends growing up and it waslike full of masturbation jokes
and stuff like that and I stillhave it and I share it during
COVID.
I share it to some of myfriends.
They're like oh my God, youstill have this.
We all laugh about it.
It's so like.
They're like you're so sick,scott, I've heard a 10-year-old
write this stuff.
You're like in a room with nowindows and no ventilation,

(25:19):
they're masturbating.
They died for too much 10 yearold writing this.

Speaker 2 (25:27):
So meanwhile, we can't release some of scott
reed's parody songs for the samereason, um they're about
molesting children and well, forsome reason.

Speaker 1 (25:41):
So like I always am writing like little parody songs
and but when I was probablylike 18, 19, I worked at Cracker
Barrel in the kitchen and meand the other dishwashers were
just like would make up thesesongs and it would be like so
you know the song Unforgiven byMetallica?
Yeah, so you know the songUnforgiven by Metallica?

(26:02):
Yeah.
So boys I've felt, boys I'veknown, never touch them once
they're grown, and it goes on,you know from there.
But like, for some reason, Idon't know why we were, we were
basically writing these likeparody rock songs, as if they
were like Michael Jackson tryingto get kids or something, and

(26:25):
we just all thought they werehilarious.
But now have a ton of these andI like sing them at
inappropriate times.

Speaker 3 (26:30):
I try to make people laugh all the inappropriate
times yeah, no, we had a song myone, buddy james, when he lived
here back in 2010 and 2011.
I got his place.
He could play guitar and Icould play guitar and we would
just jam and just write thesedirty, stupid songs, like one
was like called binky connorsword he's not here, no more,

(26:52):
because he couldn't touch thoseboys anymore and just just weird
, random stuff.
Like you did, we just writethese weird things that just
made no sense.
Song called gay dracula neverwas like that.

Speaker 1 (27:02):
It was just I had written.
So when I was in 7th or 8thgrade, I don't know if you
remember, Steve Martin had abook and it was just all these
short stories, cruel shiz.
Yes, I do, I have it and it'sjust short stories about weird

(27:25):
shit, just really random stuff.
And so I was like I could, Icould write like that.
So I wrote a whole book and myEnglish teacher would let me
read these in front of the class.
How she ever let me like, I'llnever know, because there was
all kinds of just disgustingstuff in there, but it just.
It's so weird when you're a kid, the shit you write.

Speaker 3 (27:49):
Do you remember back in the early 90s that Timmy the
Tooth, that mascot to preventtooth decay?
Yeah, so in sixth grade I did aessay with a friend of mine
about Timmy the Tooth, becausethey were supposed to write
about tooth decay and some otherthings like that, everybody was
supposed to write their ownversion.

(28:09):
So I concocted this crazy storythat was just full of hilarity
and just so sarcastic abouttooth decay and I really you
really want gingivitis and allthis stuff like that.
And I read it in front of thewhole class.
All the students were laughing.
And then, when we were done,the teacher told us to come out
of the classroom and she rippedus a new one.

(28:31):
How we made a mockery of like,because they would, if you
remember, they would have thatspecial dental person that would
come by your school and talk toyou.
So they were coming to hear whatwe wrote about teeth Woman.
You made a mockery of to meetthe tooth.
You made a mockery of toothdecay.
We got in a huge trouble forthat.

Speaker 1 (28:57):
That is just great.
So just based on these storiesyou're telling, so like were you
like one of the class clowns.

Speaker 3 (29:03):
I was just always kind of cutting up I was a quiet
class clown, I would saysomething when I wanted to say
it, but otherwise I wasn't theactive one, like the active ones
wanted the attention constantly.
I'm just not about right evenmy own life, I'm not about
competing with that kind ofstuff.
You want that attention, man?
Just you go for it.
Like I'll say my stuff when Iwant to say it, but I'm not

(29:24):
gonna be constantly 24 7.
Look at me, look at me, look atme you know right?

Speaker 1 (29:28):
no, that's exactly what I would say like how I was,
like I wasn't like I always wastrying to be funny you know
what I mean like for my friendsand stuff like that, but like I
wasn't like acting out liketrying to draw attention to
myself either.

Speaker 3 (29:41):
So I would say the most would probably be 10th,
11th and 12th grade during lunchtimes, every single day.
I was constantly which I didn'tknow it back then, but I was
constantly practicing stand-uproutines.
I would just make up jokes andtopics on the fly.
I would do roast jokes aboutall the students around us and
trying to make crack my friendsup.
My goal was a way to can I getsomebody spit out something from

(30:02):
their mouth, so all lunchperiods from 10th to 11th and
12th makes sense.

Speaker 1 (30:10):
I'd start going into comedy at some point no, I know
that's kind of how I feel, likethat's it feels like something
that I was always definitelygoing to try at some point, for
sure it sucks that we allstarted like so late too, you
know so late, yeah, you know solate in life.
Yeah, it's like, well, I mean,that's that's, that's that's the

(30:30):
way life goes.
It's always hindsight, ofcourse it would have been better
to you know.
Yeah, really start giving it aneffort much younger, but what
can you do?

Speaker 3 (30:46):
Cut your teeth at 18 through the comedy crowd scene
there and then work your way up.
No, I just want to be anAltoona Pennsylvania and start
trying when I'm 27.
I just want to do it that way.
I think that's the best way.

Speaker 1 (30:54):
Yeah, yeah, I mean.

Speaker 2 (30:57):
I mean, a lot of great comics didn't start until
they were older.
Tim Allen's not a greatstand-up as far as I'm concerned
, but he's a great comedic actor, right.
And he didn't start until hewas in his 40s, right.

Speaker 1 (31:10):
No, no, he was younger than that.
He was doing stand-up, probablyin his late 20s.

Speaker 3 (31:16):
The Santa Claus movie he was 35, which man we always
talk me and Missy always talkall the time.
Like these people back thenlook so much older for their
ages, man.

Speaker 1 (31:27):
Oh, we say it all the time.

Speaker 2 (31:30):
Maybe it's better that none of y'all started early
, because you get to grow intoyour looks naturally and not get
aged by the Hollywood scene.

Speaker 3 (31:42):
And maybe all the stress that comes with it,
stress of parenting.
I definitely got peppered hairnow because of parenting, like
we'll say that holy cow.

Speaker 2 (31:51):
I think that came overnight, so it's horrible so
do you think that your kids, doyour kids show like a comedic
sense to them?
Do you think that they'll wantto get into it?

Speaker 3 (32:04):
yeah, they both do.
My oldest one actually, uh, theweek his birthday.
Back in last week of februaryhe for his school's talent show.
He did stand-up comedy.

Speaker 1 (32:13):
So really, that's awesome that's awesome.

Speaker 3 (32:18):
We, we, I, he.
So he had three minutes.
He didn't want to write.
I made him write one joke thatwas just his Like that and the
rest we pulled from online, likethat, that was safe and
everything.
And then we practiced them andhe did great.
He did wonderful.
Everybody was laughing.
It was great.
I had them recorded.
So it's his first set.

Speaker 1 (32:38):
That's too cool.
That's too cool.

Speaker 3 (32:42):
Was that like?

Speaker 1 (32:43):
one of your more favorite parent moments.

Speaker 3 (32:48):
I was so proud of him for doing it.
He just wanted to be like daddy.
He said that's awesome.

Speaker 1 (32:54):
That's so awesome.

Speaker 3 (32:56):
He wants to watch my special.
I'm like, no, you can't watchthe special, sorry, buddy.

Speaker 2 (33:06):
No, is there any?
Your kids are younger.
There's probably not anybodyout there right now that they
can watch.
Is there Nate, maybe?

Speaker 3 (33:16):
I think I tried to show him.
I think it was one of JimGaffigan's early specials.
Really, it wasn't really muchyeah, gaffigan's good.
His later stuff now is darker.
I don't know if you guys watchhim.
His newer stuff he has gottendarker.

Speaker 1 (33:28):
He has gotten darker.
And I love jim gaffigan.
I think he's fantastic and weactually he was the first, like
famous comedian, that we went tosee.
Like you know what I mean likea big time national headliner.
He was the first one that wewent to see.
That was probably like what,2010 or something like that.

(33:48):
Oh wow, and that was inBaltimore.
That was.
That was really good he was.
He was really really cool.

Speaker 3 (33:55):
It's awesome.
Yeah, our first.
My first one's Louis CK, andthat was 2011.
I believe it was Speaking ofLouis CK, did?

Speaker 1 (34:06):
you see, he's going to be at Harrisburg Comedy Zone
on Sunday.

Speaker 3 (34:09):
I didn't saw that, but I heard the tickets were
sold out?

Speaker 1 (34:12):
Yeah, I imagine.
So that place, I mean it canonly hold, you know, so many.
I don't want to makeconnections.

Speaker 3 (34:19):
I can't get in the green room.
I don't have any connections upthere.

Speaker 2 (34:24):
You will, though no, no, weren't you on the show with
lennon?

Speaker 1 (34:28):
no, you weren't on that show.
Yeah, he was on there oh yeah Idon't know.

Speaker 3 (34:33):
I don't know him well enough for him to do me a solid
, though right for you to belike hey, I don't know him that
well enough.
Yet I had him one time.
We got along backstage wetalked and everything.
So yeah he's, I like this stuff.

Speaker 1 (34:47):
So yeah, he's very funny.
Let me ask you this this bringsus to something that we were
talking about last time, me andher.
Um.
So you put up that post aboutlike people have people really
ask you for money.
Are you being serious about?

Speaker 3 (35:01):
that next time that happens I I will actually,
because I've been just deletingthem, blocking them, but next
time it happens I'm gonnaactually take a screenshot and
share it, because some peopleare like that's not true, that
didn't happen, like no, it'sgenuinely happening.
People are asking me.

Speaker 2 (35:12):
It's just so hard to believe like I mean I believe
you, but it just, it'smind-blowing we were talking
about all the scenarios we werelike.
First of all, what kind ofpeople does Scott know Right?

Speaker 1 (35:31):
Second of, all, wasn't Scott Davison asking for
tracksuit money?

Speaker 3 (35:35):
No, no, no.
The one that was like hey, man,it's literally.
I wrote verbatim, if you lookin the comments I commented to
somebody verbatim what someonedid write to me and said hey,
man, life is special.
It didn't even spell special,Just spell it special it special
.
He's like you got any money fordiapers?
I'm like okay, uh, I'm, I'mghosting you, ghosting you, man.
No.
And another person wrote oneother people I can recall wrote

(35:58):
to me.
He's like I loved your special.
It's making you millions.
I'm sure.
He's like hey, I got a u-haulof my right now.
Can you help pay for my U-Haulfees?
Who are you?
They're all local people inthis town that I must have came
across somehow and a friendrequested me but like yeah, that

(36:19):
makes it even more fun.

Speaker 2 (36:21):
I'll tune in people.
What in the world?
Like I just can't imagine.
Like I'm well, I guess I cansay it.
We swear on here.
Who has the balls to do that?
Like I want to meet thesepeople that A have the balls.
But I know from being on TikTokthat there are lots of people

(36:41):
that will be like sure here have$10.
And if they dupe enough of them, it adds up.
There's a whole family ofpeople that have been sponsored
by TikTok for probably the lastyear.
They have seven kids among theboth of them.
The one doesn't pay childsupport.
They got evicted.
They have cats running all overover the place, they don't have

(37:03):
beds for the kids and peoplesend them like twenty thousand
dollars a month just for thembeing on tiktok as an, as an
artist.

Speaker 3 (37:13):
This is where I start to cry, you know.
Oh, really great, okay, greatright like how do you put?

Speaker 2 (37:24):
a price on my talent when people are getting shit for
free?

Speaker 3 (37:27):
I'm so happy for them .
Yes, that is a sticking pointfor me, this topic, these people
who don't have the talent.
They're getting all this moneyand while the rest of us that
struggle are trying to createcontent, create talent, get
nothing.
I saw a video where this guywas just like huh young man,

(37:49):
dolphins, and that was all.
The video was 3.5 million viewsand lots of followers.
What the hell?
I'm gonna start doing stufflike this.
I'm gonna start forgetting myrest of my stand-up.
I'm gonna start doing randomthings where I say random stuff
outside my yard and like maybe aweird robe or something like
that, and then I'll just goviral.
This is what's going to happen.

Speaker 1 (38:10):
Yeah, that actually sounds like a good idea.
Like that does sound funny.

Speaker 2 (38:17):
I might know a guy.
He puts an American flag on asa cape and wears a American flag
bandana and red sunglasses andhe says I'm your daddy to
everybody and he had a millionfollowers but he pissed somebody
off when they took his account.

Speaker 3 (38:41):
You know what?
I'll tell you the truth here.
So when I did my Elf I don'tknow if I can express this on
the last time I did an Elf onthe Shelf Christmas song back in
2016.
Make fun of it.
There was a video for it.
It lasted until this pastChristmas season where the
owners of Elf on the Shelfcontacted me and then gave me a

(39:02):
cease and desist.
I had to tear down the song andthe music video and everything
else like that.
So that was.
That was on an album that I had.
It was called Scott KellyPresents the Christmas album.
It was just a bunch of randomthings I had like sketches and
stuff on there and I neverreally I never made any money
actually off of that song.

(39:26):
But what I did make money off ofwas a 30 second clip I did
called senate clause pooping onthe toilet and it was just him
having a hard time taking a shit, and so he's like, oh, oh, oh.
He starts like that and as he'sgoing along, it's like oh oh,
oh again.
And that one had made me 80dollars.

(39:48):
That thing and that's the onethat's, that's the, that's the
thing that sold off of thatalbum.
And I was like that's thereason I was bummed about taking
that album off wasn't becausethe elf in the shelf is because,
well, there went my money forthat thing, because, like it was
part of that album, I had totear it all down.
So, wow again, you never knowwhat people are going to

(40:09):
gravitate towards.
It was like one that it waslast minute addition to the
album.

Speaker 1 (40:12):
I thought this is so silly and stupid, but it made my
kids laugh so I'm just gonnathrow it on, and that was the
thing that hit so that's crazyit sounds like the stories that
you hear, like you you know,like I don't know how big of a
music fan you are, but like youalways heard stories of like oh,
we just threw that on the albumand then that ended up being

(40:34):
like the I can, the reason I'mthe black Sabbath they talk
about paranoid.
They wrote in five minutes andthrew it on as an afterthought
and then that was ended up being, you know, the biggest hit off
that album.

Speaker 3 (40:46):
Yeah, no, I'm a huge.
I have, like I think, 38,000songs I actually own.
It's on my phone.
I don't do Spotify because Iown everything, but yeah, I'm a
huge music fan, Very huge Musicmovies.

Speaker 2 (41:01):
What's your favorite genre?
Can you even pick one of you?

Speaker 3 (41:05):
in that many songs.
Yeah, I would say more of thepunk rock metal scene is more
along the lines where most of mystuff goes, and I also like emo
music too.
I grew up in that emo timeframe, all those people talking
about feelings, about girls andacoustic songs.
So I'm all, I'm just.

Speaker 1 (41:29):
This is a vinyl copy of the Black Parade.
My chemical romance, oh no,it's like my it's.
It is awesome.
It's like it's.

Speaker 2 (41:38):
The artwork is so cool so when we met you guys at
the house for the first time theother week, um, I was teasing
when you guys went up to look atyour ghostbuster room that you
were kind of come down and dothe scene from stepbrothers
because you legitimately likeall the same things I know I

(42:00):
said that's what my wife waslike.

Speaker 3 (42:02):
I think we just became best friends.
Yeah, I was like, no, you pointout the Psych poster and
everything else in there.
I was like, oh my God, you likethis stuff too.
Like it's so rare.
I don't find people.
I found people likeGhostbusters, but I haven't
found anyone else that likesPsych, so that was unusual.
No, I know it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (42:20):
Like my brother loved it and he's the one that turned
me on to it and then I turnedher on to it later.
She hated it at first, but thenit wore on her, I did, and
she's like.
Then she finally like, one dayshe like got it and she's like
oh okay, like this I get it.

Speaker 2 (42:37):
So the mentalist is my like.
I do like psych, but I like thementalist more because I'm a
brainiac, I'm a nerd, like I'mnerdy, and I'm also very much a
psychological person.
And in the Mentalist I'velearned a lot of tips and tricks
on how to catch people lying,how to read faces.

(42:59):
I study people all the time.
So that's, I do like psych,though.
It's funny, it's fun.
But I like a little morein-depth learning with my
murders, okay.

Speaker 3 (43:14):
Yeah, I just like Psych because it shuts your
brain off.
It's fun, it's silly and it'scalming, so that's why I've
enjoyed it.

Speaker 1 (43:24):
What's your favorite Gus nickname?

Speaker 3 (43:27):
Oh, my god, oh crap, hang on a second.
It's um, don't be, don't be theBlack Eye and Thompson twins.
I think that's the one because,because, uh, I think that's the
one I like because a lot ofpeople would catch reference to
that because, like, they'resupposed to be twins but they're
not twins, you know.

Speaker 1 (43:50):
I think my favorite is probably when uh, uh sh
dynasty, that's sh comma up top.
Dynasty and gus is like that'sgod's comma yeah yes, we are
huge fans.

Speaker 3 (44:06):
Like I said to you, we're.
We're probably start our fifthrewatch here.
Uh, probably in may some somepoint, because that'll take us
all the way to the holidayseason.
And then I'll watch theHalloween episodes of Psych and
everything which they have.
Quite a few, most of them werewritten by James Reday.
The Halloween episodes Most ofthem were all written by him.

(44:26):
The Friday the 13th one's mypersonal favorite.
Actually, that's where westarted.
We went in 2009 when they didthat remake of friday 13th and
we went in the theaters to seeit.
Came home that night and I wasturned on usa network.
I'm like saw a preview comingup for a tv show called psych
isn't there.
I didn't even know there wasthree seasons yet at this point
and some spoof on the friday13th.
Like, oh, we just saw the movie, let's just check this out and

(44:48):
we watched it and we laughedhysterically.
This is awesome.
And then we watched the seriesseason finale, which was the um
the yane episode, the first yaneepisode and then we were just
hooked from there.
So we went, went and rented thefirst two seasons from um
hollywood video.
You know back in the day whenyou would rent videos, so oh,
yeah so we rented them fromthere and and then we watch it

(45:09):
every year since.

Speaker 2 (45:10):
after that, I was talking about the episode that
you said about the Halloweenepisode, because that's one of
the things that we do is all ofour favorite shows during the
holidays.
We pick out all of the seasonalepisodes and watch them
specifically.

Speaker 3 (45:26):
For Christmas and Halloween.
We do it for all the shows welike.
We'll pick them out and watchthe season episodes.
Yes, yes, I got a huge officefan.
We'll watch the office parksand rec.
Um, we'll watch all those ones.
Um, I can't think of that whatelse right now?
But there's more.
We, we check out and watch.
So, yeah, we, we did the samerest.
You guys did the same thing.

(45:47):
Did you ever watch the show thenew girl?
Yeah, oh, yeah, I have that too.
I bought that.
Yeah, I like the new girl.

Speaker 1 (45:52):
Yeah, yeah, that's very funny.
Yeah, we like that a lot.
They have a lot of goodseasonal you know episodes too.

Speaker 3 (45:58):
No, they do If we haven't watched.
Did I ever tell you that I gothired to write for a show on AMC
?
Did I tell you guys about that?
No, you told us the.

Speaker 1 (46:12):
SNL story, which I do want you to retell.

Speaker 2 (46:17):
Because I didn't want to get too much repetitive of
what we talked about last time,because we could talk about
anything, I think, and it's goodcontent.
But I think I love the SNLstory, so if you don't mind,
like weaving that into, but I dowant to hear about amc too well
, it tracks, but it's the sameyear, so, um, so that was.

Speaker 3 (46:39):
So that was 2013 and we thought everything was it's
gonna be magical that year.
So, um, that was the height ofthe walking dead.
On amc, a friend of minepitched my idea to apparently
AMC to do.
It's called the Riffing Dead.
It was basically like MysteryScience Theater 3000, but making
fun of the Walking Dead.
Oh, that's good.

(47:00):
So he's like I want you towrite the first season or,
excuse me, first episode ofseason one.
I'm like, okay, so I wrote itand everything I did, all my fun
, sarcasm and everything else,making fun of every scene and
things are coming up and theyliked it so much.
I got hired then to write thefinale of season one.
I was the only writer to dothat.
And then I got asked to comedown and voice record.

(47:22):
Like he asked me if I could dovoices and I did some voices and
stuff like that.
The original he's like, yeah,come down, do some voices.
So I did that, I recordedmyself and everything and I was
like, oh my God, this is goingto actually happen.
And then he gets into a caraccident and he breaks his back.
He comes out a month-longjourney, wants to marry the girl

(47:42):
he's with and just start kidsand not do this path, and he
shut everything down.
So that happened Wow, that'scrazy.
So that was that.
Wow, that's crazy.
That door got shut and thenthat was earlier in 2013.
So later in 2013, my wife got achance to well, she acted as my

(48:06):
agent.
My wife acted as my agent tocontact Saturday Night Live and
we weren't sure if anyone wasgoing to call us.
And this guy actually called usback and he allowed us to apply
as a writer and I was like thisis amazing.
And then I like I saw I startedworking my packet and
everything for them.
And like a month later I askedmy wife.
I was like I wonder if youcould call him back and like can
I apply as a cast member?

(48:27):
And so she called and he's like, yeah, just make a dvd and send
it this person.
I'm like I said the namebecause I know the person still
working on there.
Um, right, so, uh, so I did,which that tape.
Like I said last time we talked, I burned that tape.
That's gone.
The only people who might evenhave it is snl.
It's so god awful.
I watched it during COVID and Ideleted it, so I did not ever

(48:51):
want to see that again.
Um, so, yeah, so I I got close.
Um, being hired, I believe,because on Twitter at that time,
all the staff that were hiredas writers for Saturday Night
Live were starting to follow meon Twitter and I was like whoa,
this is amazing.
I think something might behappening.
And then a month went by, heardnothing.

(49:13):
I was like I don't think thisis a good sign, because they're
ready to shoot the season herein two weeks and I have not been
told anything.
So then we find out the person,because I remember my wife
asked and said we're hiring forone more writer spot, and if
he's going to get it we'll letyou know.
I'm for one more writer's spot,and if he's going to get it
we'll let you know.
So then the premiere ofSaturday Night Live that season.

(49:34):
The new writer was oh, I forgothis name.
Now, I just told you the lasttime.

Speaker 2 (49:40):
Oh, my God, pete Davidson.

Speaker 3 (49:42):
Pete Davidson.
Thank you, Pete Davidson.
So he's the one who got my spot, which honestly, looking back,
rightfully so, Because I don'tfeel I feel like I was biting
off more than I could chew backthen and I was taking big swings
without really having agrounding sense of how to write
better, how to work well withothers as a collab with writing

(50:02):
and stuff like that.
So I feel like now would begood, but back then they made
the right decision, honestly.

Speaker 1 (50:08):
I mean I'm sure they did, but I'm also sure that I
mean the task may have beendaunting, but I'm sure you
probably would have handled it?

Speaker 2 (50:15):
yeah, because I think emotionally he was not in the
right place to be there either.

Speaker 3 (50:20):
So after hearing what I I know now certain things you
know that leaked out.
Um about him there.
Uh, yeah, you'd never know,honestly.
Well, heck, Larry David wasonly there for one season,
couldn't get anything on, andthen here he goes on to Seinfeld
and Curb your Enthusiasm.
So you know, things like thathappen too, Heck.

Speaker 1 (50:41):
David Right absolutely.

Speaker 3 (50:42):
David Tell was hired by Siren Live and he couldn't
get anything on and he quit.
So there's a bunch of writerswho couldn't get anything on it,
just whatever.
It is their humor, their stylejust didn't translate for SNL
and they just, they just left.

Speaker 2 (50:56):
How does that work, though?
Like did they give you?
Did you know enough about thestructure?
Like I have a really good dayjob.
What if I, like, got acceptedto write for them?
Do I?
Do people even get paid ifthey're not getting sketches on?
Or how does that work?

Speaker 3 (51:14):
It's a contract.
You sign a contract, I know,for the actual performer it's a
five-year contract.
Writers I think it's a two orthree-year contract, but you're
paid like that.
They give you time to find aplace and stuff like that.
Up there You're paid.
Whether you get stuff on or notI've never read it before are
like that's a daunting thing.
When you're not, you feelguilty that you're getting paid
a lot of money and then you'renot getting anything on.

(51:37):
You feel like you're notpulling your weight.
I've read about other writerswho have struggled so right, I
can see that.

Speaker 1 (51:43):
Yeah, I mean.
Well, not only that too, butyou just from a perspective.
If you're not getting things onthere, what good are you to
them?
You know what I mean?
Yeah, I mean, it's probablygoing through your mind.
I mean, if you're in thatposition, is what?

Speaker 2 (51:56):
I'm saying I mean for me it would be no different
than my regular job.
I get paid really good money tocome up with new ideas, and so
I feel under pressure a lot tocome up with new ideas, but my
ideas always get pushed through.
So maybe I should just stay inhealthcare because I'm good at
it.

Speaker 1 (52:14):
And you know a lot about it.

Speaker 3 (52:17):
I'm good at writing too.
It's grueling hours.
Honestly, You're working thirdshift, basically at SNL.
Everything I've read which Iremember Will Ferrell being like
there's no reason that youshould be doing this anymore.
That was a byproduct of thecocaine drug, induced errors
with john belushi and everybodyelse.
Now there's no reason to beworking third shift, but they do

(52:38):
that's when they do theirwriting, did you?

Speaker 1 (52:40):
uh, did you happen to see the?
There was like a documentary onpeacock.
They're about like the writersand stuff like leading up to
like the 50th anniversary didyou happen to see?

Speaker 3 (52:49):
any of those yeah, I did check that out a lot that I
knew, because there's a book, uh, tom shells or I forget the
name, the writer it's like a big, like 800 page book about the
history of snl and everything.
I've read that thing.
Oh wow, there's a lot of goodinformation behind the scenes
stuff that and they go througheverything from the actors,

(53:09):
writers, wardrobe, everything.
They go through everybody's uhlike what their jobs were,
struggles, guests that weren'tthat, wow.
So, yeah, it seems likenotoriously the guest that was
the worst was, um, the karateguy, um what under the movie
under siege, um, uh, stevenSeagal, yes, yes, apparently

(53:33):
unanimously, he was the worstperson to work with.

Speaker 1 (53:38):
Interesting yeah, I can see.
Yeah, that's interesting.
Steven Seagal yeah, I could seehim being a dick for sure, 100%
yeah, and thinking that he'stoo good good for it, or just
better than everybody else, orsomething.

Speaker 2 (53:56):
Yeah all right, I'm gonna wrap you guys up.
Do you have um?
Was there anything we touchedon last week that you wanted to
bring up again?
I mean we.

Speaker 3 (54:06):
It was great conversation but, like I said,
there's I know we talked aboutour writing techniques and the
comedy scenes.
I know there's so much that wecould.

Speaker 2 (54:15):
I know, you could be a recurring comedy guest if you
would like.

Speaker 3 (54:21):
Don't totally do it, I love it so.

Speaker 2 (54:24):
I do, I do.
I'm serious about gettingtogether to to talk about
writing, because so Scott and Iworked at a place and I'm not
going to name it because I willget an immediate cease and
desist.
I don't know whether or notthey're still in existence.

(54:45):
They're not.
I went into this company and Iinterviewed for them to become
their billing manager formedical office, like a little
small medical place.
When I tell you that I met thecast of characters.
And then they were like, well,they gave me all these tasks and

(55:07):
I was like I need an assistant,can I hire my husband?
And they were like sure, sothey let me hire my husband as
my assistant.
And then they promoted him tobe the manager of the delivery
people.

Speaker 1 (55:19):
So mind you, we had delivery people, yet we had
nothing to deliver because theycouldn't afford inventory.
We, when you got paid, youwould have to hurry up and try
to.
It was like a mad rush of allthe employees trying to get to
their bank first to cash theirpaychecks, because they would
get to a certain point andwouldn't be able to cash them.

(55:40):
So it was like it was literallylike watching, like you know,
the Amazing Race or somethingpeople trying to get to the bank
on Fridays.
They had animals, tons ofanimals roaming through the
office Birds fish.

Speaker 2 (55:56):
We were a pharmacy, we had a pharmacy in there and
an oxygen supply company and wehad animals just roaming freely
around the building.

Speaker 1 (56:04):
Wow, we couldn't cash our paychecks and yet we would
have meetings where they're likewe're thinking about putting in
a gym, or what about acafeteria?
Like, like you can't even payus.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 2 (56:15):
gym, like so it's kind of I mean, it's not the
office, because it's not thesame concept at all, but it's.
It's an ensemble cast of wildpeople that all work at this
facility that is, we servicenursing homes and doctor's
offices and it was the biggestshit show of two years of my

(56:36):
life ever.
But there's enough charactersout of the people that actually
work there and enough actual,true content that I've written
the first episode.

Speaker 3 (56:47):
So I believe when I worked at Sears we had such a
crazy amount of people thatworked there I don't know.
I've even talked about thatlast time, about my time at
sears and now tuna.
No, um, there was a guy namedmike who came in drunk and he
and he I worked in theelectronics department and he
worked right across from me withlike the dishwashers and and

(57:09):
refrigerators and stuff likethat, the appliances.
So he's like scott, I'm gonnatake a nap.
I'm like mike, where are yougonna go take a nap?
At he goes in this dishwasher,he pulls everything out and he
just closes it right upeverything and like security is
like where's mike?
I'm like he's taking a nap inthe dishwasher.
It's like, oh funny scott.

(57:29):
I'm like no, I'm serious, he'staking a nap in the dishwasher.
It's like, oh funny Scott.
I'm like no, I'm serious, he'staking a nap in the dishwasher.
Like okay, funny guy, which one?
And I like point to which oneit was.
And they open it up and now hepopped out like a baby deer
being born.
He was like what the hell man,what the hell.
Wow, I love it.

Speaker 2 (57:56):
Oh, so we listened to a podcast about, I think the
girl worked at maybe it wasWalmart in Altoona.
It was a couple they met atWalmart in Altoona and she ended
up dead.
I'll have to look that up.
Yeah, I'll have to look it upbecause it wasn't too too long
ago, but it was older than 10years ago, I'll say that, but I
don't know when exactly it was.
But yeah, it was somethingabout he worked at the photo

(58:17):
department at Walmart, as amatter of fact, I think.

Speaker 3 (58:19):
Oh, it says one hour.
Photo with Robin Williams here.

Speaker 1 (58:26):
I hated that that's a bizarre movie.
I still don't know what I thinkabout that movie.

Speaker 3 (58:33):
It wasn't the Robin Williams I knew and loved.

Speaker 1 (58:37):
And I think that's why people were just so shocked
by it.
It was like, oh, you want toknow what's shocking.

Speaker 3 (58:44):
She was so subdued Whenever he died.
I was next to go on stage at acomedy show and, as my name gets
called, another comic comes upto me and goes Robin Williams
just died.
And I just walk out.
And I walk right out on thestage and I'm just like I just
don't know what to do.
I'm in shock because he waslike I love the guy.

(59:06):
So I was like why would youtell me that right before I'm
going to go on stage?
Why?
Oh my God, that was uh, yeah,Lovely moment right there, Wow.

Speaker 2 (59:18):
How do you even process that in the moment?
Like what the hell.

Speaker 1 (59:21):
Besides the asking for money, what's the weirdest
thing that's happened since this?
With the special release, likewith other people, like saying
with the special release, likewith other people, like you know
, kind of like the money thingbut like, besides that, anything
crazy.

Speaker 3 (59:36):
No, no, it actually has been all positive Good For
people who actually did give ita chance to check it out and
everything.
It's been all positive words.
Good reviews from it both,either just personally to me or
actually they put it up on theactual special on Amazon.
Good reviews, uh, from it both,either just personally to me or
actually they put them up on,um, the actual special on Amazon
.
Um, people were surprised by itbecause they didn't know I was

(59:58):
going to be that funny like that.
So it's so it's been good.
Good for the people whoactually have tried it and
watched it.

Speaker 1 (01:00:05):
So how do you respond when people say something like
that?

Speaker 3 (01:00:08):
They're like you're funnier than I thought you would
be.
Being fair, a lot of thosepeople saw me in the earlier
years when it was dead, right.
And then you know you bringyour friends out because you
have to help fill the crowd andeverything, and then you're
still so brand new and then youjust die a million deaths on the
stage and then, yeah, i've'mlike I've seen enough.

(01:00:31):
I've seen enough, let's revisitthis in like seven, eight years
and we'll try it again.
You know that kind of thing.

Speaker 1 (01:00:40):
Has anybody like?
Has any random person come upto you and be like hey, I saw
that, saw you on Amazon?

Speaker 3 (01:00:47):
No, no, nothing with that.
Yeah, there, there I was.
Do you ever hear um?
out to the complaints departmentpage yeah yeah, I've seen that
yeah yeah, so I created thateverything and, uh, I don't run
it anymore, um, but when I didrun it I some people connected

(01:01:11):
the dots.
I remember one time I went tokohl's and I couldn't make a
coupon to work and the workerhelped me and they're like I
love the page.
I'm like huh, and he's like, ohokay, I know what you're
talking about.
But yeah, so some people weresavvy enough to know I, I was
running it and doing it.
I did that for a few months andthen I would kind of dip in

(01:01:34):
every now and then now with allthis stand-up stuff like I'm not
doing it.
Plus, they created a separatepage now to have more writers on
.
So I'm not even part of thatright now.
But yeah, it was my creation inthe beginning.
I created that when it washopping and going.

Speaker 1 (01:01:56):
Do you still do any skits or anything at all?

Speaker 3 (01:01:58):
no, I have ideas, I just that is.
The thing is it's getting thepeople together, the timing for
filming, and then I gotta getsomebody.
I don't.
I used to edit everything butthat takes forever to edit
because you got even just afraction of a second means
monumental with timing.
So I just don't do it andeverything like I was going to

(01:02:20):
originally record this specialmyself and my wife's like get
somebody.
No, no, I could only imaginelike how much nick from mind
over Media had to do withediting and making fine tuning.
He said what he ran into.
The worst issue he ran into waspeople popping their cans

(01:02:43):
throughout the special and he'slike I have to go through and
try his best, he said, to removethe audio part of people
popping their cans throughoutthe whole entire special.
He's like I didn't foresee thathappening.
I didn't either, so yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:02:59):
Note to self if I ever record a special aluminum
bottles only.

Speaker 3 (01:03:03):
Yeah, do something like that Note to self from next
time.
That was the issue For draftbeer.
Yeah, all the beer andeverything, everyone popping
their beers and stuff, like thatnight.

Speaker 1 (01:03:15):
He said you kept hearing it every so many seconds
you hear he said got so andthat's something that like
that's something I don't thinkyou would think about like ahead
of time, like you know what Imean like unless you've done it
before obviously, but andthankfully, like he mic'd me up
too, but but, um, my mic gotdrained, only out of my hour and

(01:03:38):
20 minutes only 20 minutes ofmy set got recorded with the mic
so we had to use.

Speaker 3 (01:03:42):
Think of the audio that he set up throughout the
night, everything.
He doesn't know why he chargedit and he doesn't understand why
.
What happened to mine.
It's just some weird thing, Idon't know, but like I do feel
bad though, because, likebecause then uh, ridge went up
for a little bit there to openand then tony went up and and
did some stuff and he brought meout and while I'm waiting for

(01:04:02):
them, like I was going throughsome stomach like issues at that
time, so I was like fartinglike crazy.
So I'm backstage, I just, Iforgot I'm mic'd up.
I think I'm in the green roomon the safe and you just Just
rip them.
I realized I probably had to,probably the sixth one.

(01:04:23):
I'm like oh crap, I'm mic'd.
I probably shouldn't be doingthis so loud for Nick.
He's going to hear all thisfarting.
Oh my God.

Speaker 2 (01:04:32):
That's hilarious.
They didn't hear it on stagethough.

Speaker 3 (01:04:36):
No, no, it, that's hilarious.
They didn't hear it on stagethough, no, no, it was isolated,
just that.
Uh, mic there, that and the batand the recording device I had
attached to me.
So, yeah, okay, there's allthis thing.
I was like peeing, I was, I, Ifarted and I peed and I came
back and I started farting moreI was, and then that's when it
hit me.
I'm just gonna hear all of this,all of this I think I didn't

(01:04:58):
have to go number two beforewhile they were performing.
You have heard that one.

Speaker 2 (01:05:03):
Christ, oh my god.
So I saw you did put a, a shoutout on socials to mind over
media and and I said it on thelast show just again the
production value of the show wasamazing.
Everything looked so quality.
It sounds good and I said itlast time, I am quick to turn

(01:05:23):
something off if the productionvalue is low, which is why we're
not making a dime off thispodcast yet.
I'll keep putting money into ituntil it's perfect, because
that's just me.
But yeah, that was.
Production value on your showis amazing.
I like a plus on that and aplus on the comedy content too.

(01:05:45):
It's great.

Speaker 3 (01:05:46):
It was interesting to merge the old world and new
world, cause I was using oldstuff and I was using new stuff
and I was like how do I makethis fit and everything with
everything?
So I was trying to interweaveand the final product that
people were seeing on PrimeVideo, out of the 30 some
minutes, I would say 15 minutesis old material and 15 minutes

(01:06:08):
is new material merged together.
Majority of the new materialwas the back half of the special
where I'm at currently rightnow, and that stuff didn't make
it just because the themesdidn't fit.
Like, I had a theme of likefamily kind of going through the
special and we realized that inediting and it was Nick's idea.

(01:06:28):
Maybe we should focus on thosekind of jokes because it seems
to be the theme of the special,like family and that's what
you're so OK.
So we did that and we did aversion of it.
The theme of the special likefamily and that's what you're so
okay.
So we did that and we did aversion of it and I watched it
for a little bit, sat with itfor two weeks, watched it again.
Like you know what I like, thisversion, like that, and
unfortunately, the people whoare at the taping.
That night their favorite jokeswere like in the other areas the

(01:06:49):
halloween section, the religion, sleeping, yeah they're all
these other bits I have're like.
Those were some of my favoriteones.
I couldn't.
The Halloween section was eightminutes long.
The religion section is nineand a half minutes long.
If I put them together that's ahuge chunk of a half hour
special.
So like I had to pick, likeother stuff.

Speaker 1 (01:07:08):
Now you talk about religion there.
Now you grew up like yourparents were religious right.
Yeah parents were religious.
Right, yeah they're.
They're religious.
I grew up mormon and everythingum.
Are they still like really?

Speaker 3 (01:07:21):
religious.
Oh yeah, yeah, they're very.
They're still very religious.
Um what?

Speaker 1 (01:07:24):
do they think about like your?
Do they watch your comedy atall?
Like do they did?
What do they think about it?

Speaker 3 (01:07:30):
um, so my brother told me off the record he's like
they accidentally saw, becauseI actually I didn't know it was
on my dad's amazon account and Ibought my own special so I can
get the streams and from it andit was on their account, I
bought it.
So my dad's like what's this?
I didn't buy this, I didn't buyit.
Oh my god watching.
And my brother said they didnot make it that far and they

(01:07:52):
turn it.
So yeah, um, I'm definitely nota fan of the things I say and
do on the stage, though I cansay that.

Speaker 1 (01:08:04):
Um now I feel that because, like my mom is very
religious and she came to therailroad, I'll tune up to the
railroad museum and that was thefirst time that she's seen me
done any comedy and like I couldsense her disapproval in some
things just because she's likesuch a prude.

Speaker 3 (01:08:25):
Oh man, they.
They originally wanted to come,and uh, to the taping and
everyone swayed them.
Please don't, don't.
And I would have been sonervous if they woke up, if I
would see my parents sitting infront of watching me say these
words in front of them.
Granted, you know, at that I'm39 now, I was 38 last year.
It doesn't matter, I'm 38, it'sstill a fact of.

(01:08:45):
Like they view you a certainway and because and I don't, I
don't know, it's just weird forthem to see that version of you
slowly dip into like wait asecond.
Is there there, this other sidewe don't know about.

Speaker 1 (01:08:59):
Well, on the opposite side, to like my dad and my
stepmother, they've, they've,we've shown them all kinds of
video.
My dad's the one that, like,pretty much like introduced me
to most of the comedians andstuff that I knew as a kid.
So like, yeah, he very muchdidn't care.
Like, so, he's like, he knowswhat I say.
He's not like, they don't sweatat all about it.

(01:09:19):
So it's just my mom, really,and God help if my grandmother
would ever hear or see it.
My mom was like, oh, I wantedto bring Grandma Flickle.
I'm like, no, no, don't, shecan't handle it.
If you say shit, she's not likemy grandparents are dead.

Speaker 3 (01:09:38):
I don't.
She can't handle it if you sayshit, she's not like my
grandparents are dead, so Idon't have to worry about that.
Maybe judging toes?
Yeah, she's my last.

Speaker 1 (01:09:41):
She's the last grandparent I have and I'm like
just leave, just leave.

Speaker 2 (01:09:46):
Just let her think I'm an angel.

Speaker 3 (01:09:48):
Yep.
Wouldn't it be horrible if shecame and saw you and then that
night she passed away?

Speaker 1 (01:09:54):
That's it.
She's like I just can't take it.
It's.
I never expected that.

Speaker 3 (01:10:04):
Or, even worse, during during your set oh my God
, can you imagine?
Like Sanford and Son, I'd neverbe able to show my face at
Thanksgiving again.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 (01:10:17):
Like you killed grandma.
One other question I had was sonow that you have a special,
does that influence movingforward?
Are you going to try to haveall new stuff or are you going
to still mix in some of thatstuff?
What's your plan there?

Speaker 3 (01:10:41):
I'm still going to write new stuff.
I'm going out tomorrow night tomcgarvey's bar.
I got about 10, 12 new minutesand we I'm going to try out.
Oh cool, keep trying that outfor other places and see what's
working, what's not working.
I'm always going to write newstuff.
Um, because I did an hour and20 something.
I only use 33 on the special,so I still have a backload of
stuff I can use for sure, um,but even then I'm still gonna
tinker with that old, that stuffthat I worked on, like there's

(01:11:04):
a bit about, um, uh, like whenmy dog passed away.
And then there's there's linesI thought I've written since
then I think are even better,tags some kind of.
I didn't use that in the special, the final versions I thought
better, even the religioussection.
There was one joke I was hungup on, couldn't figure it out.
I said it anyways at the taping.

(01:11:24):
It didn't work and I knew itwouldn't.
I remember I commented on itand then the rest of the works
joke.
But since then I found theversion that works now.
So I'm glad I didn't use thattoo, because there's just some
minor bits and pieces, um,through the ones I didn't use
that I was able to fix sincethen and they work now, so I'm
glad I, I love when old stuffcomes back around.

Speaker 1 (01:11:46):
You know what I mean when something you shelved, then
you finally just magically findand you're like oh my god, this
is like where this belong thiswhole time, and it's like
there's a I remember Sam Morrelltalked about on the we might be
drug podcast.

Speaker 3 (01:11:59):
You talk about how you know, the younger version
writer of me at that timecouldn't handle this.
The older version of me now,the more experienced writer, can
handle it and I know what to doand I get that Right.
You look at the topics andthings you try to say back then
and you're like I remember Ihave a list of like all these
premises and setups andeverything like that, but no
punch lines.
And now I can look back thenlike, okay, I see a punch line,

(01:12:21):
punch line, I can do it now.
But you know, and there's stuffright for sure now that I don't
know where the punch lines are.

Speaker 1 (01:12:28):
and maybe two years from now, as a better writer,
I'm like, ah, there it is, youknow right yeah, I just, I, I
just always love that feelingwhen you can pull something back
out Like you're like I didn'tthink this worked at all, or
whatever, and then, lo andbehold, like you realize how it
works, and then it's like that'salways cool.

Speaker 2 (01:12:50):
Yeah, I have like a whole novel written somewhere in
the basement that I pulled itout a couple years ago and
re-looked at it and I'm likethat was a young person writing
that I can fix it.
But I just don't right now.
That's not my passion.
So one of these days, if I needto make money, I'll pull it out
.
But I love, I love reviving theold stuff like old stuff even.

(01:13:13):
We were just talking earlierabout a joke that he does about
um being taken to a nudist campwhen he was younger and that's
legit a true story.
But I'm so glad he didn't do itwhen his mom was in town
because I would have threw upbecause it was her that did it

(01:13:33):
oh yeah, that's.

Speaker 3 (01:13:34):
You know.
That's a great thing aboutwriting too.
Like even the special.
There's nuggets of truth toevery single story and things I
talk about.
Even now, all the stuff I saythere's nuggets of truth
somewhere in there, you know.

Speaker 1 (01:13:48):
Sure.

Speaker 3 (01:13:49):
Depending on what it is, it may be very embellished,
or sometimes it's toes in linewith people, 50 being so true
and 50 being a little bitsomething else, you know, um,
yeah oh, 100.

Speaker 1 (01:14:02):
Yeah, I totally that's what I always say.
Like there's always I mean,some jokes are more true than
others, but like there's alwayslike a kernel of truth at least
in there, of like you know howthis joke came about, mike well,
you hear tony winchcliffe saythat all the time like you
should have led with that,because that's funny.

Speaker 3 (01:14:21):
That's true, that's why it's funny yeah, and my new
closer no one knows about you,I'm working on it and people who
know the story, like I uh, backin january a friend, ethan, of
mine, was at mcgarvey's bar andI only think I did five minutes.
I was like, well, I'm done.
And they're like, alreadyYou're done.
I'm like, yeah, I'm good.
He's like tell the Sheetz story.

(01:14:43):
I was like there's nopunchlines, it's just a story.
He goes, tell it as is.
It's funny, as is.
So the quick version of this.
A friend of mine stole hisdad's Playboy and we realized
you can get these from Sheetzonce a month.
So we started taking turnsstealing them and it was my turn
and I was so nervous and theywere just like, just when you

(01:15:05):
walk in, all you got to do isuse your peripherals, grab from
the shelf, pull in, pull up yourshirt, put it down and just
walk right out.
So I did that.
I got caught.
What I stole was a playgirl.
So the manager takes me backand really she's kind of sweet
about it.
She was like, how long have youbeen.

(01:15:31):
I was like just recently, I likethese things and I have no clue
, because I didn't know theymade versions of this for guys.
And I had no clue because Ididn't know they made versions
of this for guys.
So she's like right, all thesequestions you know about, like
you know, do you want me to callyour parents or do you want me
to call police?
I said no, no, no, my dad, ifhe found out, he'd be so
horrible.
And she's like I want you to gohome and tell your parents who
you really are.
And I'm like okay, I went homeand did it.

(01:15:52):
So like that's there's no,that's verbatim what happened.
Like I'm right now trying towrite the punchlines for it and
kind of like embellishing someparts now to that story to make
it funny, and that's going to bethe new closer.

Speaker 2 (01:16:07):
So that's fantastic.

Speaker 1 (01:16:09):
Yeah, that's, hilarious.

Speaker 2 (01:16:10):
Speaking of closers, I would love to chat with you
all night, but we've got likeanother hour of recording to do
and dinner.

Speaker 3 (01:16:24):
So any final thoughts words, Just a thanks for having
me, guys Twice.

Speaker 2 (01:16:30):
Thanks for doing this again.
I'm so sorry.

Speaker 3 (01:16:33):
No, you're fine, I don't care.
And then my special is on PrimeVideo, called Word of Mouth, so
everyone can check that out onthere.
Scott Kelly, word of Mouth.
If you want to find me online,you have to write Scott Kelly
Comedian, because if you writeScott Kelly, all you're going to
get is an astronaut.

Speaker 1 (01:16:51):
And he's taking up all my space.

Speaker 3 (01:16:54):
So you got to write Scott Kelly Com.
That's the only way you'll findme.
So yeah, and I didn't realize Ichose that as a stage name that
there was a famous astronaut,otherwise I would have chosen
something else to easily find me.
Right, three years into thatname and everyone's calling me
Scott Kelly.

(01:17:14):
And now I'm like, oh crap, well, everything out there is me
with this, so I'll just keep thestage name.
How did you find out?
You said you weren't aware.
So how did you find out?
A friend of mine is like Ican't find your stuff online.
I Googled you.
He's like oh, it comes up as anastronaut.
I was like, well, I never madea face, I have been high.

(01:17:36):
So I looked it up and I waslike, oh, you can't find me.
You can't find me.
So I wrote, just wrote it.
I'm like, oh, there, I am Okay.
So you got it right Scott Kelly.

Speaker 1 (01:17:45):
All right.
Well, thanks for joining us,man.
We really appreciate it Now.
We'll definitely be talkingagain soon.

Speaker 2 (01:17:51):
We need a couples night though, though, so I can
talk to missy next up oh, it'sdutch love did you hear what I
was singing?
No about your door and I'llsing it for you my door is shut
oh, I can still hear me shoobydooby doo.

(01:18:11):
I sing songs about poop,doobyobie, doobie doo, and
boobies too, I don't know.
Anyways, so that was a greatlittle conversation we just had
with one, mr Scott Kelly.
He's awesome, but I like hiswife more.

(01:18:33):
Just going to put that outthere Just saying, no, I'm
kidding, I mean maybe not Anywhoozle.
Let's talk about something thateverybody and their mother
effing mother is talking aboutthis week.
It is the Karen Reed case.

Speaker 1 (01:18:52):
Karen Reed.
We share a namesake, althoughnot spelled the same Reed.
She's got Old.

Speaker 2 (01:19:01):
English.

Speaker 1 (01:19:03):
Yeah, she's got the stupid spelling.
Their family was book people.
We made woodwinds.

Speaker 2 (01:19:12):
They were the Reeds Reedies, anyways.
So there's an well, I guess.
If you don't know what theKaren Reed case is, quick recap
she was a cop in Boston, herboyfriend was, she wasn't.
Oh, she was an adjunctprofessor of law or criminology

(01:19:32):
in Boston.
He was a cop in Boston.
She and he went to a partytogether.
They were already drunk.
She left, he was found dead.
They say she did it, I say shedidn't.

Speaker 1 (01:19:45):
They say she hit him with her car.

Speaker 2 (01:19:48):
What do you say?

Speaker 1 (01:19:50):
I don't know.
I mean it's so you could.
Really, it's one of those.
I and you know, I say this allthe time this is the purpose of
the criminal and you know, I saythis all the time this is the
purpose of the criminal trial.
This is why they use the wordsbeyond a reasonable doubt.

Speaker 2 (01:20:03):
I think there's plenty of reasonable doubt in
her case.
There's a ton of reasonabledoubt.
There is no reason why.

Speaker 1 (01:20:09):
Anyways, I don't know what happened, but I can say
that she should be found notguilty based on the evidence
that they have.

Speaker 2 (01:20:17):
Agree completely, and there was so much tampering.
We've talked about this before.
You can watch one or 50 milliondatelines to understand that
there is corruption in police.

Speaker 1 (01:20:30):
Even if you do, let's say there's not corruption.
I don't think any reasonableperson can look at it and say
that there wasn't at leastnegligence on the way that it
was handled.
You know what I mean Like umbut, I'm about to blow your mind
.

Speaker 2 (01:20:48):
So I told I gave you a sneak peek of one of the
things that we found out today,but I didn't tell you all of it.
So thing one is that theoriginal trial ended in a
mistrial.
We know this.
So it was a mistrial.
Hang on, jory.
One of the jurors, one miss.

(01:21:09):
Let me look it up real quick.

Speaker 1 (01:21:13):
Debbie Ebersole.

Speaker 2 (01:21:15):
No, not Debbie Ebersole, she's not real.

Speaker 1 (01:21:18):
Billy Nichols.

Speaker 2 (01:21:20):
No, okay.
So one of the jurors from thefirst trial her name is Victoria
George.
She is a practicing law personin Boston, lives there, so she
has taken a job with the defenseteam.
So she can't, from what Iunderstood, she's not working

(01:21:45):
directly on the case, but she'sjoined the lead defense counsel
and is helping him with the case.
So, booyah, if she didn't feelso strongly about what happened
on the first trial and what shethought was mishandling of so
apparently the jurors weremisinstructed and she tried to
point that out, which is one ofthe things.

(01:22:07):
But here's the bombshell thatyou don't uh, apple, apple
products.
He had an apple iphone.
His apple iphone detected heaton his body and felt him walk 82
steps away from the vehicle.
Then his bluetooth disconnectedfrom the vehicle.

(01:22:32):
So how does the Bluetoothdisconnect from the vehicle?
One, you disconnect it yourself.
Two, your car gets out of range.
So he walked 82 steps away fromthe vehicle and then Bluetooth
is out of range and she drivesoff.
That's what I'm saying.
There's more to come on that,because they're really picking
apart the Apple timeline ofeverything that happened.

(01:22:54):
One other thing is that one ofthe other guys I can't remember
his name allegedly had a phonecall with him at some time in
the middle of the night that goterased, so if he was dead when
she left, how was he on thephone with somebody Right?
More to come.

Speaker 1 (01:23:10):
This is the thing that really gets me is those
other cops and the phone callsand the alleged they supposedly
had like 30 butt dials in like a20 minute period.
Get out of town, man, you're upto something good.
And they they even said it onthere, whether or not they were
talking about, uh, you know, themurder or whatever.
But there's something that theydon't want.

(01:23:31):
They didn't want people to knowabout.
I mean it's weird.

Speaker 2 (01:23:41):
He has people to know about.
I mean it's weird.
He has dog scratches or biteson his body and the dog is
killed after before right theyget rid of it yeah, too many
weird things that don't add up.
Too many weird things that don'tadd up and I've said this
before like, for whatever reason, karen Reid has a huge
supporting.
She's a fucking bitch.
She is a bitch, she is hard-ass.

(01:24:03):
We never would be friends.
I do not like her.
She's not my cup of tea, she'sabrasive.
But it does not matter, itdoesn't make her guilty.
It's like Scott Peterson.

Speaker 1 (01:24:14):
The people that support Scott Peterson say he's
a piece of crap, but thatdoesn't make him guilty of
murder.
That's just all there is to it.
People do terrible things.
It doesn't mean they'remurderers.

Speaker 2 (01:24:25):
That's exactly right.
I say this all the time.

Speaker 1 (01:24:26):
You know me, I'd be a great defense attorney.
Because they wouldn't want mecoming, because every little
devil's advocate moment I'd bein there.
You know that.

Speaker 2 (01:24:36):
I already do that.
Like you know, I'm a horribledefense attorney because I
cannot create reasonable doubtout of thin air, because I don't
lie like that, like it's not.
It makes me feel slimy to eventry to do something like that.
So it's like you see it, a whendefense attorneys like start

(01:24:57):
interjecting, especially whenthey start to victim blame Cause
.
That's what pisses me off iswhen, when defense attorneys
victim shame or victim blame,that you know, defense attorneys
are really good whenever youneed them to defend you.
But then they're pieces of shit.

Speaker 1 (01:25:17):
It's a double edged sword.

Speaker 2 (01:25:18):
That's why we need it's the fundamental basis of
our justice system speaking ofjustice system, something else
dropped this week which I didn'tremember from back in the day.
So there was a Nightlinespecial that came out this week.
What is that face you're making?

Speaker 1 (01:25:37):
I don't know.

Speaker 2 (01:25:38):
You look like a troll .

Speaker 1 (01:25:39):
I know that's what I thought.
I looked like a witch.

Speaker 2 (01:25:42):
There's a Nightline special that came out this week.
Courtney Stodden she was inConfessions of a Child Bride
Confessions 16 years old 16years old in 2011 when she
married a fucking 59-year-oldman.

Speaker 1 (01:25:59):
When she married the guy from the Green Mile, Tom
Hanks.

Speaker 2 (01:26:04):
Dude, don't even bring up Tom Hanks.
You know how I feel about that.
Tommy's going to get you,tommy's going to get you.
They were in the same movietogether.
Quinky Dink?
I think not, so you can takewhat you want from the special.

(01:26:25):
Doug Hutchison is definitely agroomer.
He's definitely a groomer.

Speaker 1 (01:26:33):
However, it's gross.
Does my nose look huge oncamera?

Speaker 2 (01:26:37):
no, it doesn't at all , except for when.
No, he's a piece of shit dougbenson.

Speaker 1 (01:26:45):
No, no doug.
What's his name?

Speaker 2 (01:26:48):
doug hutchinson doug hutchinson hutchinson.
There's no n in the middle,hutchinson doug hutchinson.

Speaker 1 (01:26:56):
He's just, he's a weirdo.
You can tell by the way hetalks and then describing like
all the oh my God, it's horrid,but then like shame on Dr Drew.
Ah, so many of the realityshows and talk shows like
exploited these people.

Speaker 2 (01:27:11):
Oprah even exploited the girl.
Yeah, I mean she was.
She said it.
She said I was basically a cashcow for them.
I don't think she said cash cow, but she said something.
You know what I mean?
The golden goose.
That's what she was referred to, as is the golden egg or the
golden goose or whatever, and itwas just all fucking disgusting
.
None of that would fly intoday's day and age.

(01:27:33):
I don't care if the law oflegal consent or whatever is X,
I don't care.
I don't care, I don't care.
Mentally, that girl was groomedby an old ass man because he
wanted a young girl, and he'sfucking gross.
You can't convince me otherwise.

Speaker 1 (01:27:53):
I don't think there's any convincing.
I don't think anybody doesn'tthink that he was even
blackballed by Hollywood.
What's that?
Tell you?

Speaker 2 (01:28:00):
right, but his mom, her mom, has some culpability in
this as well, because 120% hermom fucking fancied her.
She said here's your one chance, courtney, don't let me down.
I'm going to sign the consentform.
You marry this man because hehas money.
You know what?
By the end of it all, he wasfucking bankrupt too.

Speaker 1 (01:28:21):
The end of it, Fancy was all worn out.

Speaker 2 (01:28:24):
But now look, Fancy is pouring tea in that high-end
hotel suite for a producer whoshe's now married to, and she's
doing just fine.
But, fucking psychologicallydid she make it?
No, however, I do give herprops because she's helping
other girls after their divorcewas finalized in 2022, he was

(01:28:47):
grooming another 15 year oldgirl, 16 I'm sure that's what
people like, that too, peoplethat are of that mindset, don't
they?

Speaker 1 (01:28:56):
that's who they are.

Speaker 2 (01:28:58):
And you know what drives me insane about this
whole thing is that, like I'mgoing through her socials right
now and seeing what people aresaying and the common recurring
theme from women my age, so likewomen who would have been in
2011, who would have been intheir late 20s to like early 40s
is they felt like they werescreaming into a void like this

(01:29:21):
is wrong.
This is wrong.
This is wrong.
But nobody was like honing inon, nobody cared.
It was sensationalist.
She became the.
She became like the.
What were the?
I don't even know what theyrefer to it as, but like.
She was demonized in the pressbecause they were calling her.

(01:29:42):
They exploited her.
They were calling her sluttyand whatever promiscuous yeah
when it was.

Speaker 1 (01:29:48):
It is a form of not victim blaming, but it is a form
of blaming the person that'sbeing manipulated or whatever.
That's exactly it, to make itlook like they had a part in it,
but she was 16, dude.

Speaker 2 (01:30:01):
Right.

Speaker 1 (01:30:01):
And then Chrissy Teigen, that fucking little cunt
, but I forgive her, for I meanI don't like her, but I get
people say things.

Speaker 2 (01:30:10):
I mean, she said that the girl deserved to die and
she apologized, though I saypeople do all the time, that
doesn't mean, I think, that PoorJoe Flacco.

Speaker 1 (01:30:20):
He might end up being a stealer.

Speaker 2 (01:30:21):
Oh my God, all the death I've wished on Joe Flacco
in life Jesus.

Speaker 1 (01:30:27):
And his children, my God Jesus Christ.

Speaker 2 (01:30:31):
We don't do that.
We don't do that in the name ofNFL.
That would be weird.
What are we talking about?
What else are we going to getinto real quick?
Oh, so, I know you're trying towrap this up.
We do got lots of good content,but we're going to eat some

(01:30:51):
dinner and we're going to watchGord Gordo.

Speaker 1 (01:30:55):
El Gordo, but what did we talk about to?

Speaker 2 (01:30:58):
watch Gordo El Gordo, but what did?

Speaker 1 (01:30:59):
we talk about.

Speaker 2 (01:31:01):
What did we talk about?
So we want to produce a show.
Actually, we want Gordo toproduce the show.

Speaker 1 (01:31:08):
Yeah, I want Gordo to make the show.
I don't want to have any partsof it, I just want to watch it,
just take the idea.
So many things I would love tocreate just to watch.
I don't want to create them, Ijust want them created.
I want to put the idea outthere and let somebody else run
wild with it.

Speaker 2 (01:31:24):
Life's about putting it out there, and sometimes it
gets swatting it away, that'sright, but we're not going to
swat this one.
Gordon Ramsay, listen to us,listen to our call.

Speaker 1 (01:31:40):
Love it or list it.

Speaker 2 (01:31:40):
Love it or list it Gordon Ramsey style, where it's
a restaurant that's struggling,you take a struggling restaurant
and you have two teams one teamthat wants to help the
restaurant survive with sometweaks to their menu and maybe
the staff.
A lot of times it's the staffand tweaks to what the place
looks like and somebody else hastheir own brand new concept,

(01:32:03):
brand new restaurant concept andthat location would be great
for the brand new concept.
So they have to compete todetermine whether or not the
owner of the restaurant is justgoing to let the restaurant go
and let the new concept take itover or whether they're going to
adopt the tweaked version oftheir original restaurant.

Speaker 1 (01:32:25):
Right, and you think I mean this fits right in with
stuff that he's already doing.
He could probably just do itall in one fell swoop.

Speaker 2 (01:32:32):
Yeah See what you did there with the Nate shirt on.

Speaker 1 (01:32:37):
Yep.

Speaker 2 (01:32:42):
You can always find the Easter eggs in our
conversations if you look hardenough.
I point them out sometimes butI don't even point them out half
the time because we do them somuch it's crazy.

Speaker 1 (01:32:52):
It's like psych.
You got to find them foryourself.

Speaker 2 (01:32:56):
And then what else were we talking about?
Something along the lines ofProject Greenlight, where you
compete in.

Speaker 1 (01:33:05):
It'd be like the Apprentice, but it'd be like for
.

Speaker 2 (01:33:09):
SNL for Jimmy Kimmel.
Well, maybe not him because Idon't like him, but for you know
, for all the shows Like you.
Just, you compete to get aninternship to write on a comedy
show.

Speaker 1 (01:33:25):
That's exactly.
Yeah, there's so many thingsyou could do.
There's so many realityopportunities that they're not.
It's always it's the same,they're using the same board.
We need to think about realitythe way that we think about they
used to.
Where there's like we'll tryanything, now it's like if it's
not a proven formula, it's notlike a cooking show or a house,

(01:33:51):
whatever house renovation showor a housewives you know what I
mean like there's not a lot ofroom for these sort of pseudo
like the apprentice style sortof competition reality outside
of, like survivor and right,which I hate we need so stupid,
it's so old.
Why not make it survivor comedywriters group.

(01:34:13):
Right, like, do somethingdifferent.
There's so many things youcould do with that to like liven
it up instead of people livingon an island.

Speaker 3 (01:34:20):
I agree.

Speaker 1 (01:34:21):
You're in your 25th season or some shit.
Nobody wants to see that, nomore.

Speaker 2 (01:34:26):
Agree, I mean obviously people do, because
they're still watching it.

Speaker 1 (01:34:29):
But anyway Because it's on.
That's why.
Because it's Like what they sayon Seinfeld.
Why am I when they're pitchingthe show?
Why am I watching this?
Because it's on TV.
That's why people are watchingthose things because it's on.
It's not that they reallyparticularly want that's not
given the choice.
I think they would choosebetter programming.

Speaker 2 (01:34:48):
I agree, you're absolutely right and we're going
to give that to the people,right?
So we're going to wrap this upbut we're going to talk about um
.
We're gonna wrap this up, butwe're gonna talk about what.
We're a little project we'reworking on this weekend that has
nothing to do with this podcast.
It's all comedy, it's all newit's the true story.

Speaker 1 (01:35:06):
It's the e true hollywood story of whatever
we're gonna call these countrieshere.
What are we gonna call them?
I'm 19 you gotta think of a funname we, we found some lost
footage of a comedy.

Speaker 2 (01:35:19):
Yeah, comedy we found country duo we found lost
footage of a country duo whowere stars in the 1970s and they
had some famous hits but thenthey it turned bad come the
2000s.
It turned real bad and you'llget to find out through our

(01:35:43):
project why they had to partways.
And it's not why you think atall it's, we'll just it's, it's
Dutch love.

Speaker 1 (01:35:56):
Yeah, we'll have some fun comedy country music video
coming this weekend.
It's going to be a blast.

Speaker 2 (01:36:02):
It is going to be so fun, all right.
So if nobody has told you guys,this week, stay trashy and we
will see you in two weeks and wewill have so much more to catch
up on because there is so muchgoing on right now.

Speaker 1 (01:36:19):
But be on the lookout .
We got so much going on Guestscoming on your podcast.
We'll have more guests comingon this podcast.
We got comedy specials comingup.
We got big things, big things,big five.
Some say the biggest, some saythe biggest.
See ya.

Speaker 2 (01:36:35):
Big five.

Speaker 1 (01:36:37):
Big five, big five.

Speaker 2 (01:36:47):
Shoo-bee-doo-bee-doo I sing about I gotta get silly.

Speaker 1 (01:36:52):
I gotta get silly.
I gotta get.
What do you want?
The silly's pizza.
What is this?
The silly's pizza?
I'm trying to get a littlecrazy.
What do you want today?
I gotta get my vocal cordswarmed up.
I gotta run through all thevoices.
Yes, hello, I'd like a silly'spizza, please.
Oh, you'd like a silly's pizza.
Well, I'll tell you what kindof massage that I would like.

Speaker 2 (01:37:16):
What in the world are you practicing for a show or a
podcast?

Speaker 1 (01:37:21):
no, I'm getting my.
It's like I better get it.
That's how I do that.
So I said I gotta get my vocalcords warmed up.

Speaker 2 (01:37:29):
I get a little bookshelf, I can pretend like
I'm some kind of professor youcan get your little Minshew pipe
from down here and put it inyour Ah.

Speaker 1 (01:37:42):
I love that idea Okay .

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