May 14, 2024 • 36 mins
In this episode, Melissa Ann and her guest Ki delve into the transformative journey from embracing a victim mentality to becoming a victor in life.
Melissa reflects on the season's themes, including accountability, the 80/20 rule, and overcoming personal challenges. Ki shares his personal story of growth from a challenging childhood, dropping out of high school, and then ascending to success through introspection, hard work, and therapy. The discussion covers the importance of self-awareness, seeking help, and the pivotal role of education and community support in breaking cycles of negativity.
The episode emphasizes the power of resilience, the impact of mentorship, and the necessity of continuous learning and giving back to achieve lasting success and fulfillment.
00:00 Breaking Free from Victim Mentality
00:23 Season Finale Reflections: From Victim to Victor
03:28 Personal Journey: Overcoming Adversity and Finding Success
08:28 The Power of Therapy and Self-Reflection
24:01 Creating a Legacy Through Giving Back
30:33 Embracing Technology and Preparing for the Future
32:33 Concluding Thoughts: Moving from Victim to VictorResources Mentioned
The Meaningful Power Foundation
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/meaningpowerfdn/
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/meaningfulpower
David Goggins: Can't Hurt Me
Elizabeth Leiba: I'm Not Yelling
Kyndall Bennett: She's Meant to Lead
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
when you're in that victimmentality You don't want
(00:05):
to look at yourself.
You want to look all Around you.
That person did thatand this person did that
and this person did that to meand this person did that to me.
But the common freakingdenominator is you.
Hey everybody, it's your girlMelissa Anne and I wanted to
(00:28):
pop in before I show you thelast episode of the season
where we're talking aboutbeing a victim or a victor.
Just closing out, I can'tbelieve the season is already
closing, but I started offthis season talking about five
things my therapist has taughtme and through that I weaved
(00:50):
in some guests that were ableto add to the conversation.
I talked about, youknow, the 80 20 rule.
80 percent could be somesomeone else, 20 percent is you.
And then that part laid into,you know, backpack carrying
some things in your backpackand perhaps you not, you
know, you're not wantingto admit it, but Part of
(01:13):
you is a problem, right?
You're, you're carryingthis baggage and then it
translates into a triggerthat someone else may, get the
brunt of it and then there,there causes some issues.
So we talked about some of that.
We talked about gaslighting,and what that does for women
(01:34):
and, and how we can avoid it.
We talked about, you know,letting go of your shit,
you know, getting rid ofsome of the things that are
weighing you down, similarto, you know, carrying those
things in your backpack.
But what are some of the thingsthat we overload ourselves
with that lead up to Us beinga victim versus a victor.
(02:00):
And I think I'll closeout this, this season
talking about just that.
One of the first things that wehad to discuss was me not being
the victim, but a victor, howdo you make that transition?
And it's very easyto point fingers.
It's very easy to keep thingsand make excuses for why
(02:23):
things are happening to you.
But how do you changethat to becoming a
victor versus a victim?
Because it's very easy to bea victim and stay in mess and
stay, you know, I don't know,some people self medicate, some
people do harm to themselves.
(02:43):
Some people do a number ofthings while you're starting,
still being a, a victim andholding onto a victim mentality.
But it takes a lot of gutsto move away from that.
And become a victor.
So making sure that you'retransitioning from Victum
to Victur is what Kai andI are going to talk about
(03:06):
in this next episode.
So see you next season and thankyou for tuning in and as always
I see you because I am you.
I've lived a lot of what wetalk about today and so it is
an opportunity for us to gettogether, talk about, and have
someone that really understandswhat it is you're going through.
Enjoy the episode.
(03:28):
What we do want to talk aboutis Being a victim versus a
victor and what I mean bythat is sometimes we take
our circumstances and weWe exasperate and we grow
them instead of figuring outhow do we move Out of that
(03:51):
victim mentality and i'mi'm guilty of it as well.
There's a lot sometimes there'sa woe is me mentality that I
have when things aren't goingmy way But I I keep going And
You know there you come to theother side but in the middle
(04:12):
You know There are trials, andI think what I wanted to talk
about tonight was, you know,you are a successful individual.
There are many successfulindividuals in your circle
and in my circle as well, butyou didn't start that way.
So what.
(04:32):
You know, if you want totalk a little bit about.
Where you started, how you gotthere, what mentality do you.
as kazoo take to keep goingto get to your end game Oh yeah.
I don't even think wehave enough time on
this one for this baby.
(04:54):
I'm gonna give you, to getthe, I'm gonna give everybody
Cliff notes condensed version.
Yeah.
I'm gonna give you the,the, the chat GPT version.
So, you know, I, I wasn't born.
And raised in Bel Air.
I was raised in thehood in Brooklyn.
Family dynamics was notgreat at all, you know,
(05:17):
honestly speaking, and thatcreated trauma in my life.
It also created me, and Ijust, I'm gonna share the
mantra I created for myself.
So because the relationshipwith my mother wasn't there,
and that's a whole nother story.
She had to work.
She had three kids she had tosupport, but as a kid growing
up, I didn't see it that way.
I just saw thatShe's always gone.
(05:39):
I didn't see that.
She had to makeends meet for us.
Otherwise we will be homeless.
Right, see what I'm saying?
So in my mind, I created thisscenario that, you know what,
if I can't depend on her,I can't depend on no woman.
So I'm going to learn tocook, clean, do laundry.
So I won't ever have to dependon a woman for anything.
So that became partof my life schema.
(06:02):
So imagine being a man withthat schema, trying to have
a successful dating life, aright, successful marriage.
right You know, so I hadto break out of that.
Then you layer on top of that.
I was a high school dropout.
So then I thought I was dumb.
reallyyou you dropped out of high
(06:22):
school at what age ReallyI went all the way to
the 12th grade and left.
and why?
I just, you know, I had a kidwhen I was in New York and high
school, I had a kid and I just,there was too much pressure.
It was a lot of pressurebeing 17 years old with a kid.
(06:43):
And then you can't dependon women for anything.
So, you know, what are you,you know, so I joined the
military and they signed,I scored so high on the
ASVAB that I can work on F14 Tomcats, the airplanes
that you see in Top Gun.
And I still couldn'tsee the fact that, dude,
you're not dumb because youdropped out of high school.
Isn't that weird how you don'tsee what others see in you?
(07:07):
It helps to have cheerleaders.
That's the difference.
I think that's the differencebetween a kid growing up like
me, who had to kind of figureit out on his own school
of hard knocks learning,you know, Versus somebody
who has people around thempouring that into them.
That's what we doon our nonprofit.
Me and Darwin, Detroit, we pourinto those kids, let them know
how smart they are, how amazingthey are so that they don't
(07:30):
have to struggle like we did.
Yeah.
And that's important becauseI think, you know, that,
you know, for me growing up,I don't think I had the, I
wasn't, no one poured into me.
So you, you get lower, youget very low self esteem.
So you don't reallyknow how intelligent you are.
(07:53):
how good you are at what you do.
And so you're always secondguessing yourself and it
doesn't help that, you know,society does see what's in you
and tries to put their foot onyour neck because they don't
want you to succeed as well.
So you still carry that.
(08:13):
Okay.
Maybe I'm not, maybe it was me.
Maybe I'm not asgood as I should be.
Okay.
What do you thinkfrom that lens?
How do you, you know, tellpeople to overcome that?
So for me, it was,I'll tell you a story.
I was, I went to NorthCarolina, A& T, Aggie pride,
(08:36):
and I was walking on campus.
And, you know, out of thatmantra about not depending
on women for anything,came another schema that
said, all women are crazy.
I literally had that aspart of my schema as well.
So I'm walking oncampus now and,
(08:57):
you know, God, isevery woman crazy?
I said, that can't betrue because to every, you
know, division, there'sa common denominator, Right.
when you're doing fractions.
And that commondenominator was me.
I had to start looking at mebecause you're going through
(09:17):
women and they all crazy.
Then, you know, I don'tbelieve in this whole thing
about law of attraction.
I believe in choice.
I was choosing to notbe a person that they
probably could relate to.
Then if I'm broken and they'rebroken, you know, using
that term for lack of betterterm, Two broken people can't
make a whole relationship,Well, that's the
(09:38):
reality is brokenness.
But here's the key.
I had to reflect introspectivelyin that moment when I thought
that I can't do this alone.
I'm going to go to therapy.
I could have challengedmyself on that.
You don't need therapy.
I said, nope.
(09:59):
It went back to aconversation that I had.
With a, with a white coworkeryears ago in Greensboro, North
Carolina, at a pizza shopcalled Elizabeth's pizza.
This dude would putcrushed red peppers and
cover his whole slice.
So you couldn'teven see the cheese,
And he liked it.
man.
And then he would ask me thatI want some crushed red pepper.
I was like, nah,just the smell alone.
I'm good, bro.
(10:20):
So listen, he said to me,you know what, Ki, therapy
really saved my marriage.
And I was like, really,why do you say that?
And he said, because it reallyhelped me and my wife see things
from different perspectives.
Not perceptions, perspectives.
Right.
And then he went on to saysome other things and I don't
(10:40):
remember, but that part stuckwith me that this guy was
willing to share that personalpiece of his life with me,
like we were talking aboutthe Superbowl that happened on
Sunday, that's how open he was.
So that part struck me.
And then the fact that.
He said it saved his marriage.
So when I had that moment, Iwas at that crossroad moment
(11:02):
where auntie's camp is walking.
I had to make achoice at that point.
Do I talk myself out of itand continue the path I was
going or do I try somethingnew to see if that works?
So I chose to toss, turn,try something new, which was
So you were, you, when you saidyou got to that moment, right.
(11:23):
Where, you know, he said therapysaved his marriage because you
learned different perspectives.
And by the way, I tooka, just a, A, a class on
communication on conversationsand communication, and it says
the same thing, you know, abig part of even relationships
(11:43):
is the way you communicate,which we talk about a
lot here on this, but withthe, you know, prior to
that, you were saying, youlearn not to depend on women.
So, where you.
Just like did you havea wall up with women?
Obviously you were dating,but you just were dating
You were dating to datenot dating to marry
(12:06):
I would say I was dating, but itwould, at that time it was, I
can't recall whether or not Iwas dating just a date or date,
because you know, I was married.
I was married twice.
Come out of my firstmarriage, you know, all
I knew was marriage.
So long termrelationship to long term
relationship all failed.
(12:27):
Why?
So I had to start lookingat myself because, you
know, I didn't wantto continue like that.
Right, that's the hard partfor people right when you're
in that victim mentality Youdon't want to look at yourself
You want to look all Around youthat person did that and this
(12:49):
person did that and this persondid that to me and this person
did that to me But the commonfreaking denominator is you.
and the woman in the mirror.
Yeah.
So I had to make that choiceand that was the, one of
the best decisions I had.
(13:10):
Yeah.
And so from that point,because you, you went from,
you know, poverty to highschool, dropout to go into the
military, working on Tomahawks.
Tomcats.
Oh, We carry tomahawk missiles.
Now we, you know, it'sfunny you say that.
(13:31):
We cut, we carry Tomahawkmissiles on that airplane.
Oh, really?
No, we didn't.
No, we didn't.
Phoenix missiles,Like we getting all like,
Phoenix, Phoenix Akuna Matata.
Just loud And wrong Wow.
And wrong boy.
You don't knowhow to spell that.
(13:51):
A K U N A.
loud and wrong.
Like, nah, bruh.
It's Hakuna.
You went, you know,from that Akuna Matata.
To and obviously there'sa ton of stuff in between,
(14:16):
but I would say that, you know,you are at a point where you
are very successful and you're,you're giving, not only giving
back, but you found yourself.
So how did you do that?
A How did I find myself?
Well, that was all the comp, youknow, all part of the journey.
(14:37):
So, number one,being introspective,
realizing that you can'tkeep doing the same thing
over and over again.
That was that momentI just explained.
Therapy, and not just goingand using it as a crutch, just
to say I go to therapy andblack man goes to therapy,
(15:01):
got so much therapy, I got notesgoing all the way back to 2003.
nothing wrong,those notes documented
in Microsoft OneNote.
nothing wrong with2000, I probably have.
I probably wouldhave had more notes.
I probably lostsome notes prior to That's dope.
I started going to therapy.
(15:23):
Yeah, no, I had to be aroundthat time because I was on
A& T, I was going to A& T.
Yeah, so I've been goingto therapy for a long time.
So all of the learnings I'vepicked up along the way, all
those notes I've taken over theyears, I go back to those notes.
I journal a lot.
There was a point whereI was listening to Dr.
Miles Monroe, and healways talked about
(15:43):
finding your purpose.
And then, you know, Iknew what my purpose was.
My purpose is to tell my storyso that others can overcome.
And everything that I'velearned along the way on how to
navigate corporate America anddo certain things, technology.
I share thatthroughout nonprofit.
Cause I want others to succeed.
(16:05):
My legacy is useless.
And I want to leave alegacy for my kids and
for my family, you know?
Oh, you know, here'show I would say it.
Some are receiving it andthey've taken off, you
know, there's a young man.
Here in Georgia going to Clark,another young man at, you know,
(16:29):
Bowling Green State University.
He's like the class presidentand they, and these, these
young men are saying, if ithadn't been for what we were
doing, they would have beenworking at one of the factories,
you know, for GM or Chrysler.
Now they're in college doingbig things on their way,
getting master's degrees.
Then we bring them back andhave them teach so that they
(16:53):
can, these kids can see thatthese are the kids that came
through and where they're going.
Right.
So we just create in this,you know, instead of,
you know, we talk aboutthese generational curses.
Now we can createthese generational
wealth of knowledge.
generational wealth, Right.
right?
But again, you have to moveout of the victim mentality.
(17:15):
Like no one's goingto give you anything.
They took what you gave them andthey made it happen from that.
Like you didn't, youcan't, you can't, you
don't have the bandwidthto handhold them through
every step of the process.
They took it, they absorbedit, and they moved forward.
became victors.
(17:37):
That's right.
And most people are hungry.
And I think that's thedifference between how
I grew up and what we'reable to provide these kids.
If I had somebody pouringinto me like that, who knows
where I would be right now.
Maybe instead of overcomingmy lack of confidence
in my abilities when Iwas freaking amazing.
(17:57):
And I don't say thatin a high minded way.
I say that.
And because I knowI've just a smart dude.
I mean, you don't go on, youdon't drop out of high school
and then take the militaryexam to work on electronics
on one of the world's bestfighter aircraft, U S military.
right.
But I couldn't, but no onewas saying, God, do you
(18:18):
understand what you're doing?
Man, you droppedout of high school.
Now you're in a militarylearning arms law and
about resistance andelectrical theory.
And then you apply that toairplanes that pilots get
in every day and they puttheir life in your hands.
They trust that what you'redoing maintenance wise on
these aircraft is sound.
(18:38):
When you say thumbs up, theyknow when they take off,
they're coming back unlesssomething else happens.
Dumb people don't dothat kind of stuff.
No, So, you know, you know, youknow, it was in therapy where
my therapist said that to me.
I'm impressed with, engineersperiod because though you guys,
(19:00):
first of all, so analytical,but to be able to put things
together, just, I don't know.
I'm just veryintrigued by engineers.
you gotta love this stuff,you remember love yourself.
Speeds and feeds andSpeeds and feeds.
Yeah.
You gotta love it though.
Just this tech stuff.
If you can't just be init for the money, you
(19:23):
gotta love this stuff.
I wouldn't, I wouldn'teven say tech.
I wouldn't say anything.
You, you gotta lovewhatever it is you do.
It's just not technology becausewe didn't grow up on technology.
So we didn't know anythingabout technology from not
working on planes, but theway that technology is today.
(19:45):
We didn't have those things.
So we didn't knowanything about that.
This thing used to be asatellite, a big box that
we used to carry around.
Remember that bigass satellite phone from back
the big, the, No.
Then we went to pagesand beepers and all.
Now we have this.
Yeah.
We can do everything fromthat is a computer, Yes, it is
(20:11):
a computer and Steve Jobshad to, you know, the, the
genius mentality to createsomething that would literally
change the freaking world.
And how do you becomethat type of person?
It's not a with awoe is me mentality.
(20:33):
It's what is in me thatI have, that I could give
the world, whether it'sbig or whether it's small.
If there's a, a progressionfor my life was a progression.
First, it was me gettingover my hangups, realizing my
(20:55):
hangups weren't weaknesses, butthey were actually strengths.
Why?
Because I overcame them.
Because I put in the work.
Gotta put in, this is, this isnot, you go get a box of Cracker
Jacks and opium, you know,remember how you used to get
prizes in the Cracker Jacks box?
Digging all through thedaggone thing.
diggin all, well, we've triedto get prizes and peanuts.
(21:17):
They never put enough peanutsin that damn Cracker Jack box.
Big ass Cracker Jack box,have all that popcorn
and like three peanuts.
peanut.
The peanut's at thebottom and it'd be nice to have.
pour it out, it's thelittle the little shavings
from the peanuts, right?
So I had to get over that, youknow, Mellie Mel, I had to get
over that and realize that firstof all, dude, you are smart.
(21:41):
at all of you.
You know, dumb people don't dowhat you've done in your life.
Then it was like, yo, you gotto tell this story because how
many other people, how manyother black young black men
are experiencing exactly whatyou've already experienced
that you can pour that into.
And if they Yeah.
can see another black manwho's going through exactly
(22:03):
what they're going through,because, because, because one
thing no one can tell me nowis that you ain't been through.
Now, Right.
you know, I know what itmeans to struggle in many
different facets, yourWell, I think I'm
right there with you.
you know, I didn't grow upwith a silver spoon either,
(22:25):
but I don't think, you know,my parents hid it very well.
You know, I neverwent without anything.
I was quite spoiled,but they didn't have it.
My mom cleaned houses.
My dad was a janitor.
So, there wasn't, wedidn't have a ton of money
flowing through that house.
(22:48):
So, I think, all of us havea story, but your story is
very, very, very unique inthat you're still going.
So, and what I want.
You know, to talk about alittle bit is, you know, I
(23:08):
heard a long time ago, someonesay, there is, you know,
the time when you're born.
Then there's that, you know,dash in the middle, and then
the time that you expire.
What does that dashin the middle mean?
What would that represent?
(23:30):
legacy,What does it mean for you?
What did you help people?
right?
Yeah.
So, you said, what doesso the leg, so that, that dash
means, you know, yourWe, we are all, We,
we all have gifts.
Every one of us has a giftand a talent that we're
supposed to bring to the worldand add value to the world.
(23:52):
And if you choose tomonetize that gift, you know,
great, but it still shouldadd value to the world.
We're really supposed to.
So my dash is, you know, givingback through what we do with
the foundation in Detroit.
Telling my story and makingsure kids understand that
(24:12):
you can do all types ofthings in technology across
all different verticals,healthcare, manufacturing, I.
T., STEM, everything we dois STEM related and we teach
does that mean for people thattechnology, engineering,
and mathematics.
and how wouldpeople get engaged?
If someone's listening to thisand they don't know how to get
(24:34):
their kids engaged in programslike that, does that look like?
that's the tough part.
So we, what we do iswe, we leverage social
media with the word out.
It's all word of mouth andit's been very successful.
Leveraging social mediato me is one of the
greatest inventions ever.
The internet.
And then social media andhow we can proliferate
(24:55):
information around the globeand go viral in 24 hours.
That's amazing to me, Mm hmm.
and that's how wecan reach the masses.
So meaningful powerfoundation, meaningful power.
org, check us out wherewe're in Detroit looking at
expanding here in Atlanta.
We'll be next since I'm here.
(25:16):
So I'm ready toget this word out.
So that's my legacy.
Helping my, first helpingmy, creating a legacy for
my kids and their kids.
And then creating this legacywhere we can have stories for
years to come, where if itwasn't for this foundation,
we would've been X, Y,Z, but now we're heading
in a different direction.
(25:37):
What would you want peopleto say about Khai And your
dash so you're giving, youknow, you're giving back and
it's incredible meaningfulPower Meaningful.
The Meaningful Power Foundation,meaningful power.org.
org So make surepower.org, but the name
of the foundation is theMeaningful Power Foundation.
(25:59):
Okay, we'll have it in thein the notes underneath
But what would you wantthem, like, what would
you want people to say?
Kai was, Kai did,Kai was very genuine
and he was all.
(26:21):
Genuine and authenticand he was always just
a really good friend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's real.
Yeah, I am real whatyou see is what you get
Yeah, I would wantpeople to say,
(26:44):
She wasn't always the best,but she gave her best.
So I would give, you know,anyone the shirt off of
my back if I have it.
I'm willing to helpanyone, you know.
And, and like you, I've hadto, to, there's been bumps
in the road and I've had tolearn and I'm still learning.
(27:05):
I think if you're not stilllearning, then you're, you're
still stuck in a victimmentality and you can only move
out of the victim mentalityif you continue to learn.
And you said something thatI didn't touch on, but one
of the things you said wasyou listen to Miles Monroe.
(27:26):
And I think that.
We get stuck in social mediaand think that is the book of
all things, but we won't reallylisten to real people giving
real advice that you can takeand apply to your daily lives.
(27:53):
You know, um that thatpoint that period of my life
When I was reallyimmersing myself in Dr.
Myles Monroe, that was a turningpoint for me, especially around
purpose and really nailingthat then really, it really was
confirmation for what I alreadythought in my, my story is now
my way to give back and addvalue and help change lives.
(28:17):
Number one, number two,David Goggins can't hurt me.
That book was anotherturning point in my life yeah,
to just, you know what?
You know, you talk aboutgetting over victimhood,
that brother's book.
there's some books out now.
Like, if you, you know, forwomen, black women, there is
(28:41):
a book called I'm not yelling.
Excellent book.
Ah, and that book, you each, youknow, each page is about,
oh, my God, that's me.
But it talks abouthow you overcome it.
Like you are not alone in any ofthe situations that you're in.
(29:03):
Other women are going throughwhatever you think it is
that you're going through.
Someone else is going throughit, but how do you get over it?
And you have to pour intoyourself by listening to those.
There's another book.
She's meant to lead.
Excellent.
You know, these are allthings in it that we don't do.
(29:25):
Like, we need to research.
Social media is notthe end all be all.
You can get some garbage.
I saw some damngarbage on there.
A man talking aboutdon't drink no water.
Sir, you will die.
But we take that stuff and weabsorb it like it's the word.
(29:52):
Yeah.
yeah, so that's the thingabout, you know, I did say
internet, social media, twoof the greatest adventures,
dual edge sword, so youhave to find balance.
And so a lot of, so forinstance, you get these text
messages with these posts and,did anybody fact check this?
(30:12):
Cause this don'teven sound right.
You know what I mean?
And I look it up and loand behold, you look on
Snopes and it's like,Snopes be like, nah, play, play.
I play a player.
That is not, yeah.
So I, I, you know, I geta lot of that stuff, but
I, you know, I take itall with a grain of salt.
I mean, look atthe technology now.
(30:33):
You can create highquality videos using AI.
So when will it, when does itget to a point to what you see
might not ever be right, right,It's not really what you see.
So I'm thinking aboutthat's on my mind.
What you see is not what you,I freaking was watKing the
news and they were talkingabout there's going to be a
(30:57):
whole news channel that's AI.
They're not real people.
They're new.
They're AI.
Right.
Yeah.
So there you have it,folks, start looking at
real knowledge and notjust these internet posts
That's right.
Real knowledge andprogressing yourself.
Like the kids thatyou're teaKing, you're
teaKing them about STEM.
(31:18):
You're gonna have to figureout what's next after AI or
at least absorb yourself insome pieces of AI because
it's not going anywhere.
It's only going toget bigger and bigger
and bigger and bigger.
and smarter.
Yes.
Yes.
We teach all that leadingedge science, technology, and
(31:45):
Yep.
management, programming,networking, cloud
computing, statistics.
And it's not even codebecause ChatGPT can do code
Can do code now, right?
Yeah.
But you still need tobe able to debug code.
Just because ChatGPTwrites it doesn't mean
it's 100 percent foolproof.
(32:06):
So you still need to be ableto learn the code and know the
principles of coding so youcan at least make corrections
if there are mistakes.
Mm hmm.
Yep.
on the generative AI towhere you just, you know,
get a, get a prompt, put in aprompt and get your feedback.
And then you just throw itin and you better check it.
(32:30):
So what do you want toleave people with today?
I want to leave people withthis life is going to be full
of crossroads and we need tofigure out how to make more
right choices and wrong choices.
Right.
If, if, if, for me, I'llgive you my example.
(32:50):
You know, I kept doing,you know, realizing that my
relationships were failing.
All the time.
And either I could have savedin that mindset that says,
Hey, all women are crazy.
That's why you don'tdepend on them.
Or, yo, there's a commondenominator to this equation.
Maybe you need tostart looking at you.
That's right.
(33:10):
So always be self reflectiveand self aware intro think
introspectively, becausethat's where you're going
to find real answers.
Unity.
That's right.
Move from being the victim tothe victor using introspection,
(33:31):
using knowledge, Using yourcircle, using your community,
we don't use the phraseanymore, it takes a village.
Don't We don't use it, we gotaway from it, but it takes
a village, and a village,you need a village.
As an individual, you need apersonal board of directors.
(33:54):
Right?
You're on my personalboard of directors.
But every person has apart to play on your board
and you need to meet withthem so that you Are moving
in the right direction?
Versus staying stagnantand that's how you move
from victim to victor.
You're not gonna get it 100percent You're not gonna
(34:14):
nail it right at first,but you will get there
If you put it, if youcontinue to put it into work,
and for those people you'realways gonna run up on
naysayers who want to dig upwhat you did and You 1922.
You gotta leave thosepeople in the back.
(34:35):
Get that noise up out of there,because you can't stay there.
It's just like history.
You can't stay where you are.
You need to know about it,but you can't stay there.
That's my word.
that's the word it says.
So this was a greatconversation, Mr.
(34:57):
Khaitzu It goes back to the,to the old days when
it was just me and you.
I know, we started outwith just me and you,
Yeah, it is full circle,full circle, baby.
I G live with likethree, three viewers.
Those people were,they were, loyal.
they were loyal.
(35:20):
They were loyal.
They were.
Well, it's been a pleasurehaving this conversation
with my boy Kai.
And as always, thankyou for listening.
Don't forget tolike and subscribe.
And subscribe to us on YouTubeas well as like, wherever
(35:44):
you're listening to podcasts.
And as always, I seeyou because I am you.
when you're in that victimmentality You don't want
(00:05):
to look at yourself.
You want to look all Around you.
That person did thatand this person did that
and this person did that to meand this person did that to me.
But the common freakingdenominator is you.
Hey everybody, it's your girlMelissa Anne and I wanted to
(00:28):
pop in before I show you thelast episode of the season
where we're talking aboutbeing a victim or a victor.
Just closing out, I can'tbelieve the season is already
closing, but I started offthis season talking about five
things my therapist has taughtme and through that I weaved
(00:50):
in some guests that were ableto add to the conversation.
I talked about, youknow, the 80 20 rule.
80 percent could be somesomeone else, 20 percent is you.
And then that part laid into,you know, backpack carrying
some things in your backpackand perhaps you not, you
know, you're not wantingto admit it, but Part of
(01:13):
you is a problem, right?
You're, you're carryingthis baggage and then it
translates into a triggerthat someone else may, get the
brunt of it and then there,there causes some issues.
So we talked about some of that.
We talked about gaslighting,and what that does for women
(01:34):
and, and how we can avoid it.
We talked about, you know,letting go of your shit,
you know, getting rid ofsome of the things that are
weighing you down, similarto, you know, carrying those
things in your backpack.
But what are some of the thingsthat we overload ourselves
with that lead up to Us beinga victim versus a victor.
(02:00):
And I think I'll closeout this, this season
talking about just that.
One of the first things that wehad to discuss was me not being
the victim, but a victor, howdo you make that transition?
And it's very easyto point fingers.
It's very easy to keep thingsand make excuses for why
(02:23):
things are happening to you.
But how do you changethat to becoming a
victor versus a victim?
Because it's very easy to bea victim and stay in mess and
stay, you know, I don't know,some people self medicate, some
people do harm to themselves.
(02:43):
Some people do a number ofthings while you're starting,
still being a, a victim andholding onto a victim mentality.
But it takes a lot of gutsto move away from that.
And become a victor.
So making sure that you'retransitioning from Victum
to Victur is what Kai andI are going to talk about
(03:06):
in this next episode.
So see you next season and thankyou for tuning in and as always
I see you because I am you.
I've lived a lot of what wetalk about today and so it is
an opportunity for us to gettogether, talk about, and have
someone that really understandswhat it is you're going through.
Enjoy the episode.
(03:28):
What we do want to talk aboutis Being a victim versus a
victor and what I mean bythat is sometimes we take
our circumstances and weWe exasperate and we grow
them instead of figuring outhow do we move Out of that
(03:51):
victim mentality and i'mi'm guilty of it as well.
There's a lot sometimes there'sa woe is me mentality that I
have when things aren't goingmy way But I I keep going And
You know there you come to theother side but in the middle
(04:12):
You know There are trials, andI think what I wanted to talk
about tonight was, you know,you are a successful individual.
There are many successfulindividuals in your circle
and in my circle as well, butyou didn't start that way.
So what.
(04:32):
You know, if you want totalk a little bit about.
Where you started, how you gotthere, what mentality do you.
as kazoo take to keep goingto get to your end game Oh yeah.
I don't even think wehave enough time on
this one for this baby.
(04:54):
I'm gonna give you, to getthe, I'm gonna give everybody
Cliff notes condensed version.
Yeah.
I'm gonna give you the,the, the chat GPT version.
So, you know, I, I wasn't born.
And raised in Bel Air.
I was raised in thehood in Brooklyn.
Family dynamics was notgreat at all, you know,
(05:17):
honestly speaking, and thatcreated trauma in my life.
It also created me, and Ijust, I'm gonna share the
mantra I created for myself.
So because the relationshipwith my mother wasn't there,
and that's a whole nother story.
She had to work.
She had three kids she had tosupport, but as a kid growing
up, I didn't see it that way.
I just saw thatShe's always gone.
(05:39):
I didn't see that.
She had to makeends meet for us.
Otherwise we will be homeless.
Right, see what I'm saying?
So in my mind, I created thisscenario that, you know what,
if I can't depend on her,I can't depend on no woman.
So I'm going to learn tocook, clean, do laundry.
So I won't ever have to dependon a woman for anything.
So that became partof my life schema.
(06:02):
So imagine being a man withthat schema, trying to have
a successful dating life, aright, successful marriage.
right You know, so I hadto break out of that.
Then you layer on top of that.
I was a high school dropout.
So then I thought I was dumb.
reallyyou you dropped out of high
(06:22):
school at what age ReallyI went all the way to
the 12th grade and left.
and why?
I just, you know, I had a kidwhen I was in New York and high
school, I had a kid and I just,there was too much pressure.
It was a lot of pressurebeing 17 years old with a kid.
(06:43):
And then you can't dependon women for anything.
So, you know, what are you,you know, so I joined the
military and they signed,I scored so high on the
ASVAB that I can work on F14 Tomcats, the airplanes
that you see in Top Gun.
And I still couldn'tsee the fact that, dude,
you're not dumb because youdropped out of high school.
Isn't that weird how you don'tsee what others see in you?
(07:07):
It helps to have cheerleaders.
That's the difference.
I think that's the differencebetween a kid growing up like
me, who had to kind of figureit out on his own school
of hard knocks learning,you know, Versus somebody
who has people around thempouring that into them.
That's what we doon our nonprofit.
Me and Darwin, Detroit, we pourinto those kids, let them know
how smart they are, how amazingthey are so that they don't
(07:30):
have to struggle like we did.
Yeah.
And that's important becauseI think, you know, that,
you know, for me growing up,I don't think I had the, I
wasn't, no one poured into me.
So you, you get lower, youget very low self esteem.
So you don't reallyknow how intelligent you are.
(07:53):
how good you are at what you do.
And so you're always secondguessing yourself and it
doesn't help that, you know,society does see what's in you
and tries to put their foot onyour neck because they don't
want you to succeed as well.
So you still carry that.
(08:13):
Okay.
Maybe I'm not, maybe it was me.
Maybe I'm not asgood as I should be.
Okay.
What do you thinkfrom that lens?
How do you, you know, tellpeople to overcome that?
So for me, it was,I'll tell you a story.
I was, I went to NorthCarolina, A& T, Aggie pride,
(08:36):
and I was walking on campus.
And, you know, out of thatmantra about not depending
on women for anything,came another schema that
said, all women are crazy.
I literally had that aspart of my schema as well.
So I'm walking oncampus now and,
(08:57):
you know, God, isevery woman crazy?
I said, that can't betrue because to every, you
know, division, there'sa common denominator, Right.
when you're doing fractions.
And that commondenominator was me.
I had to start looking at mebecause you're going through
(09:17):
women and they all crazy.
Then, you know, I don'tbelieve in this whole thing
about law of attraction.
I believe in choice.
I was choosing to notbe a person that they
probably could relate to.
Then if I'm broken and they'rebroken, you know, using
that term for lack of betterterm, Two broken people can't
make a whole relationship,Well, that's the
(09:38):
reality is brokenness.
But here's the key.
I had to reflect introspectivelyin that moment when I thought
that I can't do this alone.
I'm going to go to therapy.
I could have challengedmyself on that.
You don't need therapy.
I said, nope.
(09:59):
It went back to aconversation that I had.
With a, with a white coworkeryears ago in Greensboro, North
Carolina, at a pizza shopcalled Elizabeth's pizza.
This dude would putcrushed red peppers and
cover his whole slice.
So you couldn'teven see the cheese,
And he liked it.
man.
And then he would ask me thatI want some crushed red pepper.
I was like, nah,just the smell alone.
I'm good, bro.
(10:20):
So listen, he said to me,you know what, Ki, therapy
really saved my marriage.
And I was like, really,why do you say that?
And he said, because it reallyhelped me and my wife see things
from different perspectives.
Not perceptions, perspectives.
Right.
And then he went on to saysome other things and I don't
(10:40):
remember, but that part stuckwith me that this guy was
willing to share that personalpiece of his life with me,
like we were talking aboutthe Superbowl that happened on
Sunday, that's how open he was.
So that part struck me.
And then the fact that.
He said it saved his marriage.
So when I had that moment, Iwas at that crossroad moment
(11:02):
where auntie's camp is walking.
I had to make achoice at that point.
Do I talk myself out of itand continue the path I was
going or do I try somethingnew to see if that works?
So I chose to toss, turn,try something new, which was
So you were, you, when you saidyou got to that moment, right.
(11:23):
Where, you know, he said therapysaved his marriage because you
learned different perspectives.
And by the way, I tooka, just a, A, a class on
communication on conversationsand communication, and it says
the same thing, you know, abig part of even relationships
(11:43):
is the way you communicate,which we talk about a
lot here on this, but withthe, you know, prior to
that, you were saying, youlearn not to depend on women.
So, where you.
Just like did you havea wall up with women?
Obviously you were dating,but you just were dating
You were dating to datenot dating to marry
(12:06):
I would say I was dating, but itwould, at that time it was, I
can't recall whether or not Iwas dating just a date or date,
because you know, I was married.
I was married twice.
Come out of my firstmarriage, you know, all
I knew was marriage.
So long termrelationship to long term
relationship all failed.
(12:27):
Why?
So I had to start lookingat myself because, you
know, I didn't wantto continue like that.
Right, that's the hard partfor people right when you're
in that victim mentality Youdon't want to look at yourself
You want to look all Around youthat person did that and this
(12:49):
person did that and this persondid that to me and this person
did that to me But the commonfreaking denominator is you.
and the woman in the mirror.
Yeah.
So I had to make that choiceand that was the, one of
the best decisions I had.
(13:10):
Yeah.
And so from that point,because you, you went from,
you know, poverty to highschool, dropout to go into the
military, working on Tomahawks.
Tomcats.
Oh, We carry tomahawk missiles.
Now we, you know, it'sfunny you say that.
(13:31):
We cut, we carry Tomahawkmissiles on that airplane.
Oh, really?
No, we didn't.
No, we didn't.
Phoenix missiles,Like we getting all like,
Phoenix, Phoenix Akuna Matata.
Just loud And wrong Wow.
And wrong boy.
You don't knowhow to spell that.
(13:51):
A K U N A.
loud and wrong.
Like, nah, bruh.
It's Hakuna.
You went, you know,from that Akuna Matata.
To and obviously there'sa ton of stuff in between,
(14:16):
but I would say that, you know,you are at a point where you
are very successful and you're,you're giving, not only giving
back, but you found yourself.
So how did you do that?
A How did I find myself?
Well, that was all the comp, youknow, all part of the journey.
(14:37):
So, number one,being introspective,
realizing that you can'tkeep doing the same thing
over and over again.
That was that momentI just explained.
Therapy, and not just goingand using it as a crutch, just
to say I go to therapy andblack man goes to therapy,
(15:01):
got so much therapy, I got notesgoing all the way back to 2003.
nothing wrong,those notes documented
in Microsoft OneNote.
nothing wrong with2000, I probably have.
I probably wouldhave had more notes.
I probably lostsome notes prior to That's dope.
I started going to therapy.
(15:23):
Yeah, no, I had to be aroundthat time because I was on
A& T, I was going to A& T.
Yeah, so I've been goingto therapy for a long time.
So all of the learnings I'vepicked up along the way, all
those notes I've taken over theyears, I go back to those notes.
I journal a lot.
There was a point whereI was listening to Dr.
Miles Monroe, and healways talked about
(15:43):
finding your purpose.
And then, you know, Iknew what my purpose was.
My purpose is to tell my storyso that others can overcome.
And everything that I'velearned along the way on how to
navigate corporate America anddo certain things, technology.
I share thatthroughout nonprofit.
Cause I want others to succeed.
(16:05):
My legacy is useless.
And I want to leave alegacy for my kids and
for my family, you know?
Oh, you know, here'show I would say it.
Some are receiving it andthey've taken off, you
know, there's a young man.
Here in Georgia going to Clark,another young man at, you know,
(16:29):
Bowling Green State University.
He's like the class presidentand they, and these, these
young men are saying, if ithadn't been for what we were
doing, they would have beenworking at one of the factories,
you know, for GM or Chrysler.
Now they're in college doingbig things on their way,
getting master's degrees.
Then we bring them back andhave them teach so that they
(16:53):
can, these kids can see thatthese are the kids that came
through and where they're going.
Right.
So we just create in this,you know, instead of,
you know, we talk aboutthese generational curses.
Now we can createthese generational
wealth of knowledge.
generational wealth, Right.
right?
But again, you have to moveout of the victim mentality.
(17:15):
Like no one's goingto give you anything.
They took what you gave them andthey made it happen from that.
Like you didn't, youcan't, you can't, you
don't have the bandwidthto handhold them through
every step of the process.
They took it, they absorbedit, and they moved forward.
became victors.
(17:37):
That's right.
And most people are hungry.
And I think that's thedifference between how
I grew up and what we'reable to provide these kids.
If I had somebody pouringinto me like that, who knows
where I would be right now.
Maybe instead of overcomingmy lack of confidence
in my abilities when Iwas freaking amazing.
(17:57):
And I don't say thatin a high minded way.
I say that.
And because I knowI've just a smart dude.
I mean, you don't go on, youdon't drop out of high school
and then take the militaryexam to work on electronics
on one of the world's bestfighter aircraft, U S military.
right.
But I couldn't, but no onewas saying, God, do you
(18:18):
understand what you're doing?
Man, you droppedout of high school.
Now you're in a militarylearning arms law and
about resistance andelectrical theory.
And then you apply that toairplanes that pilots get
in every day and they puttheir life in your hands.
They trust that what you'redoing maintenance wise on
these aircraft is sound.
(18:38):
When you say thumbs up, theyknow when they take off,
they're coming back unlesssomething else happens.
Dumb people don't dothat kind of stuff.
No, So, you know, you know, youknow, it was in therapy where
my therapist said that to me.
I'm impressed with, engineersperiod because though you guys,
(19:00):
first of all, so analytical,but to be able to put things
together, just, I don't know.
I'm just veryintrigued by engineers.
you gotta love this stuff,you remember love yourself.
Speeds and feeds andSpeeds and feeds.
Yeah.
You gotta love it though.
Just this tech stuff.
If you can't just be init for the money, you
(19:23):
gotta love this stuff.
I wouldn't, I wouldn'teven say tech.
I wouldn't say anything.
You, you gotta lovewhatever it is you do.
It's just not technology becausewe didn't grow up on technology.
So we didn't know anythingabout technology from not
working on planes, but theway that technology is today.
(19:45):
We didn't have those things.
So we didn't knowanything about that.
This thing used to be asatellite, a big box that
we used to carry around.
Remember that bigass satellite phone from back
the big, the, No.
Then we went to pagesand beepers and all.
Now we have this.
Yeah.
We can do everything fromthat is a computer, Yes, it is
(20:11):
a computer and Steve Jobshad to, you know, the, the
genius mentality to createsomething that would literally
change the freaking world.
And how do you becomethat type of person?
It's not a with awoe is me mentality.
(20:33):
It's what is in me thatI have, that I could give
the world, whether it'sbig or whether it's small.
If there's a, a progressionfor my life was a progression.
First, it was me gettingover my hangups, realizing my
(20:55):
hangups weren't weaknesses, butthey were actually strengths.
Why?
Because I overcame them.
Because I put in the work.
Gotta put in, this is, this isnot, you go get a box of Cracker
Jacks and opium, you know,remember how you used to get
prizes in the Cracker Jacks box?
Digging all through thedaggone thing.
diggin all, well, we've triedto get prizes and peanuts.
(21:17):
They never put enough peanutsin that damn Cracker Jack box.
Big ass Cracker Jack box,have all that popcorn
and like three peanuts.
peanut.
The peanut's at thebottom and it'd be nice to have.
pour it out, it's thelittle the little shavings
from the peanuts, right?
So I had to get over that, youknow, Mellie Mel, I had to get
over that and realize that firstof all, dude, you are smart.
(21:41):
at all of you.
You know, dumb people don't dowhat you've done in your life.
Then it was like, yo, you gotto tell this story because how
many other people, how manyother black young black men
are experiencing exactly whatyou've already experienced
that you can pour that into.
And if they Yeah.
can see another black manwho's going through exactly
(22:03):
what they're going through,because, because, because one
thing no one can tell me nowis that you ain't been through.
Now, Right.
you know, I know what itmeans to struggle in many
different facets, yourWell, I think I'm
right there with you.
you know, I didn't grow upwith a silver spoon either,
(22:25):
but I don't think, you know,my parents hid it very well.
You know, I neverwent without anything.
I was quite spoiled,but they didn't have it.
My mom cleaned houses.
My dad was a janitor.
So, there wasn't, wedidn't have a ton of money
flowing through that house.
(22:48):
So, I think, all of us havea story, but your story is
very, very, very unique inthat you're still going.
So, and what I want.
You know, to talk about alittle bit is, you know, I
(23:08):
heard a long time ago, someonesay, there is, you know,
the time when you're born.
Then there's that, you know,dash in the middle, and then
the time that you expire.
What does that dashin the middle mean?
What would that represent?
(23:30):
legacy,What does it mean for you?
What did you help people?
right?
Yeah.
So, you said, what doesso the leg, so that, that dash
means, you know, yourWe, we are all, We,
we all have gifts.
Every one of us has a giftand a talent that we're
supposed to bring to the worldand add value to the world.
(23:52):
And if you choose tomonetize that gift, you know,
great, but it still shouldadd value to the world.
We're really supposed to.
So my dash is, you know, givingback through what we do with
the foundation in Detroit.
Telling my story and makingsure kids understand that
(24:12):
you can do all types ofthings in technology across
all different verticals,healthcare, manufacturing, I.
T., STEM, everything we dois STEM related and we teach
does that mean for people thattechnology, engineering,
and mathematics.
and how wouldpeople get engaged?
If someone's listening to thisand they don't know how to get
(24:34):
their kids engaged in programslike that, does that look like?
that's the tough part.
So we, what we do iswe, we leverage social
media with the word out.
It's all word of mouth andit's been very successful.
Leveraging social mediato me is one of the
greatest inventions ever.
The internet.
And then social media andhow we can proliferate
(24:55):
information around the globeand go viral in 24 hours.
That's amazing to me, Mm hmm.
and that's how wecan reach the masses.
So meaningful powerfoundation, meaningful power.
org, check us out wherewe're in Detroit looking at
expanding here in Atlanta.
We'll be next since I'm here.
(25:16):
So I'm ready toget this word out.
So that's my legacy.
Helping my, first helpingmy, creating a legacy for
my kids and their kids.
And then creating this legacywhere we can have stories for
years to come, where if itwasn't for this foundation,
we would've been X, Y,Z, but now we're heading
in a different direction.
(25:37):
What would you want peopleto say about Khai And your
dash so you're giving, youknow, you're giving back and
it's incredible meaningfulPower Meaningful.
The Meaningful Power Foundation,meaningful power.org.
org So make surepower.org, but the name
of the foundation is theMeaningful Power Foundation.
(25:59):
Okay, we'll have it in thein the notes underneath
But what would you wantthem, like, what would
you want people to say?
Kai was, Kai did,Kai was very genuine
and he was all.
(26:21):
Genuine and authenticand he was always just
a really good friend.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's real.
Yeah, I am real whatyou see is what you get
Yeah, I would wantpeople to say,
(26:44):
She wasn't always the best,but she gave her best.
So I would give, you know,anyone the shirt off of
my back if I have it.
I'm willing to helpanyone, you know.
And, and like you, I've hadto, to, there's been bumps
in the road and I've had tolearn and I'm still learning.
(27:05):
I think if you're not stilllearning, then you're, you're
still stuck in a victimmentality and you can only move
out of the victim mentalityif you continue to learn.
And you said something thatI didn't touch on, but one
of the things you said wasyou listen to Miles Monroe.
(27:26):
And I think that.
We get stuck in social mediaand think that is the book of
all things, but we won't reallylisten to real people giving
real advice that you can takeand apply to your daily lives.
(27:53):
You know, um that thatpoint that period of my life
When I was reallyimmersing myself in Dr.
Myles Monroe, that was a turningpoint for me, especially around
purpose and really nailingthat then really, it really was
confirmation for what I alreadythought in my, my story is now
my way to give back and addvalue and help change lives.
(28:17):
Number one, number two,David Goggins can't hurt me.
That book was anotherturning point in my life yeah,
to just, you know what?
You know, you talk aboutgetting over victimhood,
that brother's book.
there's some books out now.
Like, if you, you know, forwomen, black women, there is
(28:41):
a book called I'm not yelling.
Excellent book.
Ah, and that book, you each, youknow, each page is about,
oh, my God, that's me.
But it talks abouthow you overcome it.
Like you are not alone in any ofthe situations that you're in.
(29:03):
Other women are going throughwhatever you think it is
that you're going through.
Someone else is going throughit, but how do you get over it?
And you have to pour intoyourself by listening to those.
There's another book.
She's meant to lead.
Excellent.
You know, these are allthings in it that we don't do.
(29:25):
Like, we need to research.
Social media is notthe end all be all.
You can get some garbage.
I saw some damngarbage on there.
A man talking aboutdon't drink no water.
Sir, you will die.
But we take that stuff and weabsorb it like it's the word.
(29:52):
Yeah.
yeah, so that's the thingabout, you know, I did say
internet, social media, twoof the greatest adventures,
dual edge sword, so youhave to find balance.
And so a lot of, so forinstance, you get these text
messages with these posts and,did anybody fact check this?
(30:12):
Cause this don'teven sound right.
You know what I mean?
And I look it up and loand behold, you look on
Snopes and it's like,Snopes be like, nah, play, play.
I play a player.
That is not, yeah.
So I, I, you know, I geta lot of that stuff, but
I, you know, I take itall with a grain of salt.
I mean, look atthe technology now.
(30:33):
You can create highquality videos using AI.
So when will it, when does itget to a point to what you see
might not ever be right, right,It's not really what you see.
So I'm thinking aboutthat's on my mind.
What you see is not what you,I freaking was watKing the
news and they were talkingabout there's going to be a
(30:57):
whole news channel that's AI.
They're not real people.
They're new.
They're AI.
Right.
Yeah.
So there you have it,folks, start looking at
real knowledge and notjust these internet posts
That's right.
Real knowledge andprogressing yourself.
Like the kids thatyou're teaKing, you're
teaKing them about STEM.
(31:18):
You're gonna have to figureout what's next after AI or
at least absorb yourself insome pieces of AI because
it's not going anywhere.
It's only going toget bigger and bigger
and bigger and bigger.
and smarter.
Yes.
Yes.
We teach all that leadingedge science, technology, and
(31:45):
Yep.
management, programming,networking, cloud
computing, statistics.
And it's not even codebecause ChatGPT can do code
Can do code now, right?
Yeah.
But you still need tobe able to debug code.
Just because ChatGPTwrites it doesn't mean
it's 100 percent foolproof.
(32:06):
So you still need to be ableto learn the code and know the
principles of coding so youcan at least make corrections
if there are mistakes.
Mm hmm.
Yep.
on the generative AI towhere you just, you know,
get a, get a prompt, put in aprompt and get your feedback.
And then you just throw itin and you better check it.
(32:30):
So what do you want toleave people with today?
I want to leave people withthis life is going to be full
of crossroads and we need tofigure out how to make more
right choices and wrong choices.
Right.
If, if, if, for me, I'llgive you my example.
(32:50):
You know, I kept doing,you know, realizing that my
relationships were failing.
All the time.
And either I could have savedin that mindset that says,
Hey, all women are crazy.
That's why you don'tdepend on them.
Or, yo, there's a commondenominator to this equation.
Maybe you need tostart looking at you.
That's right.
(33:10):
So always be self reflectiveand self aware intro think
introspectively, becausethat's where you're going
to find real answers.
Unity.
That's right.
Move from being the victim tothe victor using introspection,
(33:31):
using knowledge, Using yourcircle, using your community,
we don't use the phraseanymore, it takes a village.
Don't We don't use it, we gotaway from it, but it takes
a village, and a village,you need a village.
As an individual, you need apersonal board of directors.
(33:54):
Right?
You're on my personalboard of directors.
But every person has apart to play on your board
and you need to meet withthem so that you Are moving
in the right direction?
Versus staying stagnantand that's how you move
from victim to victor.
You're not gonna get it 100percent You're not gonna
(34:14):
nail it right at first,but you will get there
If you put it, if youcontinue to put it into work,
and for those people you'realways gonna run up on
naysayers who want to dig upwhat you did and You 1922.
You gotta leave thosepeople in the back.
(34:35):
Get that noise up out of there,because you can't stay there.
It's just like history.
You can't stay where you are.
You need to know about it,but you can't stay there.
That's my word.
that's the word it says.
So this was a greatconversation, Mr.
(34:57):
Khaitzu It goes back to the,to the old days when
it was just me and you.
I know, we started outwith just me and you,
Yeah, it is full circle,full circle, baby.
I G live with likethree, three viewers.
Those people were,they were, loyal.
they were loyal.
(35:20):
They were loyal.
They were.
Well, it's been a pleasurehaving this conversation
with my boy Kai.
And as always, thankyou for listening.
Don't forget tolike and subscribe.
And subscribe to us on YouTubeas well as like, wherever
(35:44):
you're listening to podcasts.
And as always, I seeyou because I am you.
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