June 25, 2024 • 57 mins
In this episode of 'Girl Talk with the Boys,' join the panel of distinguished gentlemen as they discuss various insightful topics. The conversation begins with the idea of reciprocity in relationships and leads into memorable lessons from life, such as the importance of humility, perseverance, and self-confidence. The dialogue also delves into misconceptions about love and relationships. The episode wraps up with an intriguing question: if you could have dinner with three people from history, who would they be and why? Tune in for a thought-provoking and heartfelt discussion.
00:00 Introduction and Opening Remarks
00:38 Meet the Hosts
01:30 Social Media Banter
04:39 Life Lessons and Personal Growth
13:13 Trust and Relationships
29:10 Understanding Reciprocity in Relationships
31:24 Personal Experiences with Reciprocity
36:07 Dinner with Historical Figures
49:00 The Importance of Inclusive Language
56:38 Final Thoughts and FarewellThanks for watching.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
if you just keep giving tosomebody and they're not
(00:01):
giving back, that's not theperson for you, they might
not be into you as much as youare into them and it's okay.
It happens.
Welcome to girl talk withthe boys for another episode
with these distinguishedgentlemen Today's topic
is we got no damn topic.
We just gone from the From ourheads and hearts and whatever
(00:25):
comes out comes out right guysThat's right.
So but look before weget started Let's go
ahead and introduceourselves starting with
It's your boy.
You know who I am.
Kaizu AKA K Diddy AKAKai Carbaby all the way
representing the A's.
(00:45):
By way of Brooklyn, New York.
brooklyn and the house oneIt's your boy Lee, folks.
I'm from, originallyfrom Virginia, but I'm
representing North Carolina.
Go Heels.
Durham City,Let's say where's your book
Who the Hoyles?
the who?
Go Heels, go Heels, go Heels.
(01:07):
the apple juice mustDurham City, Bull City.
I'm sorry, sir.
I'm sorry.
Blame it on the apple juice.
And last but notleast who we got.
hey, I'm Doc.
No big fanfare, just here.
Okay, mr.
8000 Yes.
Okay.
Wait till you get 8, 001.
You're gonna have a fit.
(01:29):
what?
Don't, don'tI share how many likes i've
had on a comment on a post?
You say, have you?
have I shared?
You shared it with me.
Yeah, with you.
Would you like to know Doc?
How many?
35, 000.
Oh, okay.
(01:51):
I passed you Mr.
8, 000.
Well, you're onway more than I am.
I don't do any social media.
All I did was commentNow all of a sudden, I
don't do social media.
That fool, look, he don't.
Man, it'sWell, well, well, well,
only thing I know iseveryone who I hear chirping
only don't even have 50.
(02:12):
50.
50 what?
You don't, you don't got 50.
Likes, impressions, nothing.
And I know, I know Lee got zero.
I know Lee got zero, and I knowa lie.
That's a lie.
Lee got over 200 Oh, shit.
from the first episode.
Oh, shit.
Shut down the show.
You know took you a wholedamn year to get
(02:33):
those 8, 000, son.
Hey, you know what?
Hey.
Take me and Kai off andjust put Lee in the center.
This Lee's, Lee's MVP.
It wasn't like, bythe way, it was views.
views, Likes.
Likes.
Whatever.
ups.
All right Lee got 200.
couldn't even, I couldn'teven fight back, fire
(02:53):
back on that one.
Lee got 200.
Let's go, Lee.
Lee, you're on the hot seat now.
Lee's on the hot seat now.
He got a whole 200 people.
we talking about this,huh people that are
listening, but this iswhat you got to deal with.
Let's see putso Lee's last video You got 216.
(03:21):
So kai was right Boom.
But, kai look, 135a thirst trap on now.
(03:48):
how many, how manytimes have I sat up here
and cared about likes?
I gave y'all thestory from Jump.
Me and Melissa was doing thisshit before likes was a thing.
that's rightAnd no one likes you.
And no one likes you.
Jesus loves me.
How about that?
This I know.
You know why?
You know how I know?
(04:08):
Your It's a Bible,No, the Bible.
Well, you don't want meto preach tonight, do you?
You doom.
know what?
140.
He's up to 140 now.
Um doc, you don't evenfollow girl talk, do you?
(04:31):
Exactly.
All right.
Clowns.
All right, so we gottaask questions today.
And get some responsesso the first question is
What is the most importantlesson life has taught
you who wants to go first?
(04:52):
boing, boing.
Hit it leeHow'd you know that was Philly?
You know what I'm saying?
Sister from another mister.
Here we go, here we go.
Let me see.
Always remain humble, you know.
Wow.
For me, you know, when I wasyoung and I started making
(05:14):
a little bit of money,uh, my head got too big.
And you know, I was prettymuch an a hole to some
people, but when you lose it,it humbles you real quick.
So.
Always remain humble.
That's, that'ssomething I learned.
A to the man I can't seeyou being an a hole though.
Yeah, he was a jerk tome when he first met me.
(05:37):
Thought I was gonna have tobody slam this dude, man.
Yeah, I'm like,who's at that party?
Remember who's at that party?
I'm not gonna call no names.
You remember?
My son was there with me.
My oldest son.
This remember that.
I mean, we've been to alot of parties together.
is when you, this is whenwe first met at the, at
our place of employment.
(06:01):
But anyway, yeah,about to say, we
gotta talk about that,I've witnessed, I've witnessed
the jerkness in this dude.
Lee where are you fromoriginally Durham?
Nah, I'm originallyfrom Danville, Virginia.
Oh, Yeah, they got a crime rateworse than New York City.
I had a big ass confederateflag.
On that per capita basis.
(06:23):
Because the same six peopleremember Danville because that
confederate flag, it flies high.
you got the same sixpeople robbing each other.
Huh?
It's the same six peoplerobbing each other.
This guy, man, I swear, man.
This guy, man.
Hey, Leroy, is it your turn yet?
(06:44):
No, not yet.
I got Wednesday.
Alright, give me them shoes.
Why don't you lendme them shoes?
Lee has um, humility.
Which is a good one.
You always have tostay humble indeed.
I think, I knowI'm guilty of it.
And life humbles youDefinitely does.
(07:06):
Who wants to go next?
I want to hear what Dochas to say on this one.
Mr.
Thousand.
Honestly, probably thebiggest thing I've ever
learned is perseverance.
Nothing ever, evercan beat perseverance.
Because the funny thing is youonly succeed, everyone thinks
you succeed on the first time.
And the crazy thing iseverybody thinks that um,
(07:26):
success is a one time thing.
Success isn't.
Success is someone who'stried one more time.
And you're gonna have failure.
You're gonna have failure.
So as long as you persevere,no matter how many times you
fail, eventually you'll win.
So that's the biggestthing I've ever learned.
Success is a destination.
Not a, not, no, six, howdoes it, what's the saying?
(07:48):
Success is a journey, not anot destination.
Yeah.
Or you can say like Aaliyah,dust yourself off and try again.
Or you can just sayDonnie McLarkin.
We fall down, but we get up.
Wake it up.
Or you can say whatMichael Jackson say.
You know I'm bad.
You know it.
(08:09):
You know.
How you like me now, baby?
Shots gotta stop.
Oh, first first off, first off,I don't have, I have to take
off, um, get a tank top.
So I can't do it.
So I'm just going to sit here.
I up.
Shots fired, folks! Shots fired!Right.
(08:33):
Kai, let's see, let'ssee your words of wisdom.
What do you have?
My words of wisdom is that thebiggest lesson life has taught
me was be self confident.
I struggled so bad withthat early in life and
that shit just ruined me.
Yeah.
if you're, think about it.
If you have self confidence andthen incorporate the humility
(08:55):
and perseverance You don't haveto put on a show for anybody.
You know who you are.
You're self aware.
If you're self confident,you're self aware.
I'm talking about a selfconfidence that's built
on find out foundationalprinciples, not just being a,
you know, a jerk or conceited,high minded individual.
So that for me wasa game changer.
(09:16):
So couple, yeah.
So I'll just say this cup, thatcouple with the, you know, then
I picked up the humility pieceand then the perseverance piece,
no one can stop the juggernaut.
No, that, that's, that'sa very good point.
A lot of people todayaren't self-aware.
(09:36):
'cause, um, you have no idea.
and, the crazy thing aboutit is there's a saying,
there's a, there's a famousquote, if you gotta, you
gotta stand for somethingor you fall for anything.
And a lot of people willnot stand for something.
Everyone wants to ride fenceI think so.
That's not what we'resaying now in America.
It's clearly divided.
awareness comes from, youknow, different things.
(10:01):
You could have Lost yourself esteem as a child or
a, you know, or even as anadult, somebody can wear
you down so much that youlose your self confidence.
So, the key is making sure thatyou keep the self confidence
and you understand that you.
You are enough and that youare better than what others
(10:24):
are telling you that you are.
That's the key to it.
Because it's not somethingthat you automatically have.
Oh, without a doubt.
You know, peoplehave to pour into you Yeah.
and it needs to be consistent.
It can't be only when, you know,you do something good, but most
of the time you get your asswhipped for doing something bad.
Yeah, or a rollercoaster, you'regood, you're bad, you're good,
(10:47):
you're bad, you're good, you'reYou have no idea.
You're confused as hell at thatYeah.
No.
And, and that's the, the thingis, is who you surround yourself
around, around yourself.
Unfortunately, it's true.
If you surround yourselfwith 8 losers, guess
who's going to be the 9th?
If you surround yourselfwith 9 winners, guess
who's going to be the 10th?
Yeah.
Skippy.
(11:08):
Orpeople that are just boring to
though.
You gotta look atyourself and then look
at the people around you.
Um, because you don't really,you don't really see who's
around you until you look atyourself and say, Hey, do I
wanna, how do I get better?
How do I change my, you know,My lifestyle or whatever, and
then you start looking at yourfriends outside of what you,
you know, you see in yourself.
And then you go from thereand cut everybody off.
(11:30):
That's not doing, youknow, you justice in life.
It's okay to outgrow people.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, Everybody's not goingto transcend with you Yeah.
Which is sad.
Whichand everybody's not going to
want to be pulled up when youreach down to pull them up.
(11:50):
that's very true.
I definitely agree withThat's why, that's why
my thing right now, fam,is I am no longer sowing
seeds in infertile ground.
Because think about it.
If I'm sowing seeds in infertileground, and then the other
principle is you reap what yousow, what am I going to reap?
(12:14):
Y'all feeling me on that?
I know I said I wasn'tgoing to preach tonight.
No, what you'resaying makes sense.
What you're saying makes sense.
But the thing is, I mean,personally, me, I always try.
I always try to see.
Because you don't know what'sgoing to be the catalyst to
change, for someone to change.
And hopefully, the couple ofpearls of wisdom that I give
them, or a couple of things Igive them, or show them, show
(12:35):
them my, my fortitude, um,show them, give them a piece
of knowledge, that might bethe, that, that might be the
thing that says, hey, it turnsthem around, or gets them on
the path to turning around.
I mean, that's kind of self,that's kind of me over, over
projecting, but you always wantto see if you can help somebody
be better than what they are.
That's my number one goal.
(12:56):
Well, what was yours, Melissa?
Did she say hers?
I Yeah.
Yeah, I I just cosigned.
Um, So you don't, youdon't have one.
think, I think, I think theladies who follow girl talk
with the boys would love tohear from the lady of girl talk.
I think the most importantlesson that I've learned
(13:16):
and I'm still learning isyou cannot trust everyone.
Rewind.
Yeah.
So, you know, I,I'm always so naive.
Like I give people the benefitof the doubt and I trust people
and I have conversations withpeople and then I help people.
(13:37):
But they don't alwayshave good intentions.
People don't alwayshave good intentions.
They will use the shhout of you for what they
want to use you for.
And then when you needsomething, or you need, you
know, a little bit of help,they'll be like, I pray for you.
Well, Don't lose that.
(14:00):
Don't lose that.
The reason why I say that isbecause when you stop being
open to people and stop wanting,wanting to see the best out of
people you get very cynical.
And I hate to say it, um,being from New York, um, I
expect you to steal from me.
I expect you to dosomething jacked up to me.
And then when you don't,I'm, I'm happily, I'm
(14:21):
surprised, I'm surprised.
But when you do, I'm like,okay, I'm okay with that.
And that's not the wayto go through life.
The way you, the way you'redoing it is way better.
In my opinion, it's way better.
Don't lose that quality.
Always look for thepositive in people.
Always look for the good.
I mean, unfortunately, whenI, just being from where I'm
from, you just say, hey, Iknow this dude's gonna steal.
(14:43):
Oh, he stole.
Alright, point proven.
yeah, I mean, we're, well,three of us are New Yorkers here
and I understand watching yourback and stuff like that, but.
When you're in a circle withsomeone and you've, you think
that you've earned their trustand you, they've, and vice
versa, and then they turnaround and stab you, that's
(15:06):
a different type of pain.
Like that's a different type ofbetrayal.
That's what I'm talking about.
and you know whatthe funny thing is?
And that's tough.
That's tough.
But that happens to everybodythough, unfortunately.
Yeah, I agree with that.
I was going to say, um, neverstopped being, I'm just gonna
piggyback on what you said, doc.
I would say, um, just neverstopped being a good person.
(15:28):
I mean, in general, becauseeven though that person did
something bad to you in returnof, you know, your, your,
whatever you did in kindness,um, I, you're still going to
get a blessing from it, right?
Regardless of whatever happensfrom, What good deed that you
did to this person or gavethis person, whatever happened,
(15:51):
uh, you're still going toget a blessing in return.
So for me, I try to be a goodperson in general and stop
looking for things in return.
Because once you look forthings in return, you're,
you're, you're not, you'reprobably going to not get
your blessing the way youthink you're going to get it.
Just, just be open and justsay, Hey, I, I'm doing it out
of the kindness of my heart.
I don't care about, youknow, anything else.
(16:13):
And I guarantee you, onceyou start doing that, you'll
get a bigger blessing.
Bigger than what you thoughtyou were gonna get, so.
yeah.
But I think, let me, letme say this, Melissa.
Uh, I don't, I want to make surewe're not missing her point.
I don't think she's sayingthat she wants to stop
being a good person.
I think what she's saying is.
She needs to use better wisdomand who she gives it to.
(16:33):
You know, right.
you can't, um, cast yourpearls before swine.
Yeah, I know what you'resaying, but the thing is
though, you don't know who'sgood, you don't know who's bad.
So my whole thing is, youcan't figure out, hey, I
but in the process of buildingthe relay, you just don't,
you, we, the relationshipthat us four have on this
call, the corporate on it,on the call, son, on the
(16:56):
podcast, you know, we've builta relationship that we trust
each other and we haven'tever jerked each other around.
And, and we've, and we showcharacteristics and qualities.
That, you know, indicate tome, especially that I can trust
all of y'all with my life, withmy deepest, darkest secrets.
And I know it's notgoing to end up on IG.
(17:18):
So as you build, as you builda relationship and you get
to know people that are doingthat, you have to cut them off.
That's true.
that's fair.
That's aYou look at it, just look at our
circle fellows, you know, justthe, so now we've talked about
this circle on the podcast.
Now look at the circle andnot the fellows text thread.
Yeah.
(17:39):
We all look, whenwe get together, we
don't ever talk about.
How many women we smashing?
How many VIP tableswe don't board up?
We don't ever talk about that.
We're talking about stocks.
We're talking aboutinvesting in real estate.
We're talking aboutstarting businesses.
Think about all the timeswe spent together and how
many times did we sit aroundand share, you know, stupid
(18:01):
sex stories, which is dumb.
But you gotta understand,you gotta understand,
there's a maturation process.
And you gotta understand,we've been, a lot of us have
been with each other for 9,10, five, at the minimum five
years, at the maximum 15, 20.
So you got a maturationprocess where things grow.
Like I've, and the crazything is, like I've, like
(18:21):
I've, I've grown to knowall, a lot about Lee.
And the crazy thing aboutit is he's a scary musician.
Like he knows he, hecan listen to beats.
He knows the beats he knows.
And the crazy thing about itis we drove home from Atlanta
one time and he was justshowing me how many different
songs are sampled fromsongs from the 60s and 50s.
(18:42):
And I'm, I'm blown away.
I mean, a lot of JayZ's stuff is not even,
it's not even current.
He steals a lot of music,which is
Damn, so Jay Z is a thief now.
Damn, son.
You know what?
You know what?
You really need toThey coming, they
coming for you.
All those 8, 000 views,it's gonna be negative.
They gonna removeall them views, Jack.
(19:04):
yeah, him, him and Diddy.
Him and Diddy.
Yeah, they pay for thesamples though, right, bro?
They don't just steal them.
Yeah, but the thing is though,you gotta understand, but
there is actually one song,that Girls Girls Girls song.
He steals that almost verbatimfrom another group from the 60s.
Yeah, but that's, that's, that'sa lot of people who do that.
So Oh, yeah, I know.
(19:24):
But the I was about to say, Iwould have known.
I mean, I know, butthe thing is, though, I
thought he was a lyricist.
I'm like, man, thisis genius, man.
I can't believe he wrote this.
And I, and you know what?
He didn't.
I What's the old adage?
a lot.
I listen to old school rap,but there is a um, Jay Z
and Kanye song where theyuse Otis Redding sample.
(19:47):
Mm hmm.
She's And I mean, I was like,Oh, this beat is sick.
Like, you know, jamming it.
I asked my daughter, Hey,you ever heard of this song?
She said, yeah, three years ago.
you know, do you know,do you know what the
funny thing about it is?
(20:08):
When you, when you listento stuff like that, it
makes you go back andstudy like Otis Redding.
Otis Redding was avery dynamic musician.
I mean, like, and the crazything is, like that Ray
Charles movie, I never knewthis dude put out so much
Music, right, yeah.
right I'm, oh, Ray Charlesis a monster.
Oh, definitelyAnd then, and you think
(20:29):
about it, he was the firstartist to get his master's.
Mm hmm.
And the Yeah, he sure was,know what?
There was actuallya line in that movie
that's very prophetic.
He goes like this, he, uh,he goes, he looks at him and
goes, hey, I want my master's.
And the guy looks at himand goes, nobody ever gets
his masters, not even Elvis.
(20:51):
And he looks at me,if you want me, that's
what it's going to take.
Now, how, how, and the crazything is now, what kind of man
that you talk about confidence,you talk about perseverance.
I mean, that guy is theepitome of strength.
When you sit there in thatoffice, where he's from, what
he's no, what he knows, and he'sblind, he can't see anything.
(21:13):
And he, and he goes over andsays, Hey, I want my masters.
And the funny thing aboutit is, his family is set
up for so many generations.
I mean, it is unbelievable.
Every single time you heara Ray Charles song, his
family's making money.
Yeah I mean, which is crazy.
This guy had to, he, hehad the fortitude to say,
hey, I want my masters.
(21:35):
Most guys would be like,hey, I'll just take this.
I'll take this.
I'll take this.
And not only that he hadthe fortitude to not use his
handicap as a as a a hindranceWell, he had, he
had a tough mother.
His mother was a tough woman,tough woman, But, you know what?
She made, she made a guy.
And you think aboutit, this guy's walking
(21:55):
around New York City.
Imagine, you're blind andyou're in New York City.
I mean, that's crazy.
I Nobody was messing withLil Ray Charles, come on.
come Nobody was gonna messwith Ray Charles.
Kai, you know, Kai, youknow, you know better
than anybody else.
In New York City, walking downthe street, at half the time,
this guy didn't even use a cane.
He did not,I don't know what new york
city was like in the 60sRight, yeah, during his time?
(22:19):
It wasn't, it wasn't,please, come on.
I don't think it wasn'tyou had the mob and
all that but it wasn'tI think back then, I think
back then, the artists had alot of more, a lot of respect.
Somebody like RayCharles had respect.
I don't think people would.
Nowadays, you got theseclowns out here, you have an
artist, they gonna try him.
Cause they wanna be thatdude to try this artist.
(22:40):
You know what?
I don't even know.
I don't, I don't, I don'teven understand that.
I don't, I don'tunderstand that at all.
All right.
Let's bring it back inYeah, we done went
all the way offit back in bring it back in
we all got no damnWe ain't got no damn
How we, how can we go offa topic we don't have?
Ha ha ha!Okay, back to you, Melissa Ann.
That's right.
Say it it back.
(23:01):
What'd I say?
We ain't got no damn topicWe sure damn ain't got no damn
topic.
All right.
All right.
So the next question Iswhat are some misconceptions
you have had about?
love l o v e Which man Somisconception.
(23:25):
Oh, common, oh,most common for me?
That, that lovewas just a feeling?
When actually love, lovewas a choice, not a feeling.
You choose to love, you chooseto love, you choose to love your
spouse, your mate, your partner.
not going to likethem all the time.
(23:46):
So, what is love?
What is love?
to youWell, love is defined as a
strong and ardent, genuineconcern for the well
being of another person.
Let me repeatyou believe there's a difference
between love and being in loveI think, I think love, I
(24:12):
believe, I don't, I don'tsubscribe to the, I love you,
but I'm not in love with you.
know what?
You gotta They're different.
There are different levels.
Let me finish.
There are differentlevels to love, right?
And the top, if we were toput love in a hierarchy,
the top is agape love.
(24:34):
And so that's the definitionI just gave to you guys, the
strong, ardent, genuine concernfor the well being of another.
Whether you like them or not,you might not like them as
a person, but if they felldown and hurt themselves,
would you help them up?
(24:55):
And that's, you know, that'sa real mediocre example.
No, it's not.
It's Do unto others as you wouldhave them do unto you.
See, you know what?
That is an honest, that'san honest aversion.
I mean, seriously, if you,if you saw someone you
didn't like fall, wouldyou stop and help them?
You know what?
talking aboutrelationships, by the way.
If you, you're in arelationship with somebody,
(25:17):
don't, don't, this is notlike, um, where it's your best
buddy and they fall and thenTrue.
That, yeah, yeah, you're right.
You're right.
This is about relationship.
We need to bring, weneed to bring it back
to the relationship.
Okay, relationship is different.
Relationship is different.
Yeah, Yeah, I think thesame thing applies.
I mean, here's what I would say.
(25:37):
Just because you're notwith someone doesn't mean
you stop loving them.
I agree withYou can, you can love
somebody and be incompatiblelove.
There's love and inlove, in my opinion.
Okay, and I believe peopleare entitled to that.
I don't see anything wrongwith being entitled to that
opinion about love and in love.
(25:58):
Yeah.
I think you can still lovethe person and you're not,
that you're not with them,but you're not in no longer in
love with them as time passes.
That's fair.
Anybody else?
(26:20):
reciprocity.
I would say reciprocity forme, um, just because you so
for me, and it goes back towhat I said earlier, you know.
It's kind of me, you know, goingagainst myself when I say this,
but if I do something good andif I'm in a relationship with
(26:41):
somebody and I do somethinggood, I expect something in
return almost because I'mdoing it, but I'm doing it
because I want to do it.
How can I explain this?
No, you're doing good.
You're doing good.
Keep going.
You no, because it's like, youknow, you're doing it because
you want to be with thatperson and you don't want to.
(27:04):
Keep pouring into that personand not pointing back into you.
That'sThat's why I said reciprocity.
So you expect something inreturn, but you don't want
to basically tie yourself outor just give all you can to
somebody and they're not doingnothing back in return, but
Well, I'm not fine.
I'm not understandingwhat, you know, what's
(27:25):
the misconception there.
Oh, because I mentioned not,not remember I said earlier,
I was saying, you know, youdo kind of things with certain
people, but you don't wantto expect anything back.
That's why I said, um, I'mkind of like a hypocrite
in this case because IWell in my head I was thinking
it was kind of like spade youOkay, same thing.
(27:50):
No, butI'm not, I'm still not following
joking.
But what I wasreally thinking was.
It doesn't have to be,um, tangible things,
Well, he's kind of, he's kind ofmaking it like a quid pro quo.
Like, I've done this.
I've done this other than this.
I'm expecting this.
but couldn't it be just athank you or showing an, yeah,
(28:15):
oh, no, no, he's appreciation.
It can be appreciation,but at some point you're
like, all right, man,I've done, no, no, no,
Lee's keeping score.
well, give us an example.
Maybe I'm notfollowing because I
Because I'm not followingthe misconception.
All right.
Do you want them?
Let me explain it for you.
Like Lee is thinking andI'm going to tell me I'm
from wrongly, but I thinkI got you on this one.
(28:37):
Like say for instance, Lee makesher breakfast in the morning.
He does the dishes and he walksthe dog and he cleans the house.
He's expecting her to bedoing something like he's
not expecting to thank you.
He's expecting her to dosomething, maybe not as
grandiose, but he's expectingher to do something like maybe
take him away for the weekend,you know, doing a special thing
(29:00):
he likes to be done to himor, you know, rub his back.
He's waiting forsomething to come back.
He's keeping score.
And so, so I'm gonna challengethat process a little
bit because I thinkreciprocity in relationships
should be the norm.
One person, one, I thinkreciprocity should be the norm.
(29:22):
If, if look, if I'm again,sowing seeds into infertile
ground, if you're thetype of person that likes
reciprocity, then you needto be with somebody who's
going to give that to you.
Oh, you'reBut if you're, if you're
good, if you're good with justacting and acts of service
in the relationship, and thatfulfills you and gives you
energy and not getting anythingreturned, doesn't bother
you, then that's okay too.
(29:45):
But if it's impacting yourhappiness and your, you
know, your comfort in therelationship, then you need to
think about and challenge that.
That's very true.
I don't say, I don'tsay anything wrong.
Now, if, if you, if yourintention is every time you
do something, you're doing itto expect something in return,
then that's a different story.
Then that needs to bechallenged as well.
(30:06):
No, I don't think, Idon't think I expect
every single time but Youexpect things to stop.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Cause you I still don't seethe misconception,
I think is a was not being said.
It's a level of care.
Is that other person showingthat they also care he's
showing that I care and I'veinvested in you, but you're not
(30:29):
showing me the same thing back.
but what's themisconception there though?
That's the part I'm getting to.
well, I mean, Maybe you justdon't use that word.
my whole thing is Iunderstand what Lee's saying.
No, but no, but what Lee's doingis, what Lee's doing is he's
(30:49):
I didn't know we could do that.
No, Lee's keeping a score.
got no topic.
This guy thought an engineercame straight on out.
(31:09):
Well where is the misconception?
Analytical asses.
No, I'm just, I was justtrying to understand, son.
I don't want to justbe like, uh huh.
Yeah, right.
Uh huh.
Right on.
Right on, bro.
no.
And Lee, and the funnything about it is, I mean,
I understand where Lee'scoming from, but you know, I
look at things a little bitdifferently, you know, I mean,
(31:31):
technically what I'm about.
It's just that I give, andI don't, I give it to you
without expecting it back.
So, if you give mesomething back, great.
I give it to you because Iwanted to give it to you.
I never, I never Give it to me.
Don't say that with me.
(31:55):
I wasn't saying it to you, son.
Don't say it aroundwas just doing background.
Right Don't do background,foreground, sideground.
No, Can't say, you can't saynothing no more in this
So Doc, you will date someoneand just give and give and give
no, no, it comes to a point.
It comes to a point whereI'm like, hey, I'm giving
and no one, and I'm notgetting anything returned.
(32:17):
So, hey, it's got to stop.
You know?
ButThat's what I that's pretty much
what I was getting at, yeah.
But you know whatthe thing is though?
I mean, like a prime example,Like when we all hang out
together, Like Kai, me,I mean, Um, and Larry.
We all get together.
joke.
That's is Lee.
(32:39):
inside joke.
No, I'm joking.
But the funny thing about it is,Is that if Kai gives me money,
There's nothing, oh man, I gottapay him back, Or he's keeping
track, or if I give Lee or Kaimoney, No one's keeping track.
It's not that deep.
My whole thing is is just that,a dollar to payday?
yeah, for the record, for therecord, for the record, Doc
(33:02):
has never given either of usmoney, nor have we ever asked.
Because we are all standingon our feet with great
jobs with great pay.
Just to make that clear.
Oh, and you know what?
I'll give you, I'llgive you an example.
I'll give you an example.
Like Kai is a real giving guy.
Like we'll all be thereand he'll order like
(33:23):
four or five pizzas.
So I'll come up and give himlike a 30, 40, 50 bucks simply
for the fact is cause I knowhe's doing it out of the,
out of kindness of his heart.
He's not saying, Oh, he gaveme, he gave me, we just do that.
And that's what I,that's what I, that's
what I'm talking about.
Yeah, but again, we'regoing away from the
relationship piece.
(33:44):
Your relationship is if Ikeep, if I keep giving, if I
keep giving to a girl and shestops giving and she's, and she
doesn't show any reciprocation.
Well, I've never done, I'venever had that happen, but I'm
just saying, if you just keepgiving to somebody and they're
not giving back, that's notthe person for you, they might
not be into you as much as youare into them and it's okay.
It happens.
Let me give you an example ofthe kind of reciprocity I like.
(34:07):
So I, and we, everybodyknows I love to cook.
And you know, there wasa time where I'll wake up
Saturday morning, yo fellas,I'm having a cookout.
Be here by two andeverybody would show up.
And let's just say, you know,I had a young lady as a guest.
Now, if that young lady says,I'm going to wash the dishes.
You go to bed sinceyou cooked all day.
(34:30):
That's reciprocity for me.
Yeah.
That's all I'm saying.
yeah, I And you know what?
And the funny thingis, you want that from
everyone you deal with.
Because like when Kai says, hey,come on over, bring something.
You know?
You're expecting, I mean,everyone goes above and
beyond to bring stuff.
So it's like, there's way toomuch food, there's way too much
(34:50):
drink, there's a lot of stuff.
But that's a good thing.
And sometimes you don'teven say brainy thing.
I just ask like, hey, youwant me to break something?
a function where he's asked youyeah.
But the thing is though, wehave that kind of relationships
where, You're, I mean, it'sjust like, hey, I want, I want
to add, I want to contribute.
(35:11):
And that's what,that's how it is.
Now some people, somepeople don't do that.
And those people areno longer in my circle.
yeah, but the thing isthough, but Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, look, you know,but you also don't have that
I mean, I need, Ihave to have that.
Yeah.
I But what you don't,but you don't have
the same relationship.
You don't have the samerelationship with those people.
That's why they're nolonger in the circle.
(35:31):
So I have this muchrelationship with them.
See that?
Hello.
Hold on.
yeah, This, this, this manymakes sense.
Kind of Atlanta, get some ofthat, um, the Brussels sprouts.
I hate Russell Spence.
Copy on the ones and twos.
(35:53):
and the threes and fours, baby.
Don't All right,say that either.
here goes the last question.
Maybe, because we ain'tgot no damn topic.
If you had the opportunityto have dinner with three
people from history, whowould they be and why?
(36:19):
Go start with you, Doc.
Um, honestly, the first one I'dwant to speak to is Sun Tzu.
out of war Yeah.
Because just the way he looksat things, um, is just amazing.
(36:41):
And believe it or not, theguy who I really would like
to speak to, Josiah Henson.
Who?
Josiah Henson.
Everyone knows him as Uncleschools, uncle Tom.
Right, right, right.
the funny thing aboutit is, if you understand
the story of Uncle Tom,calling someone Uncle Tom is
actually a positive thing.
(37:02):
Not so much because thatguy was based off of him.
The guy was very dynamic.
Very dynamic.
I mean, it was amazingsome of the stuff he did.
And, and possibly, I'm tryingto think, probably the third guy
I'd want to speak to, becauseI've been listening to a lot of
the stuff he says, is Malcolm X.
And because, not so muchfrom where he ended up,
(37:25):
but from where he started.
And then once he started,then he got the mind shift.
And then once he found out,what the Nation of Islam and
what Elijah Muhammad was doing,it kind of threw him off.
And some people, thatkind of threw him off.
And he's like, no, I'm stillgoing to stick to my guns and
what I've been doing and I'mgoing to stay on the path.
(37:46):
And then when he wentto, then when he went to
Jerusalem and he went downthere and he learned from, Who's
went to Mecca.
We all saw the movie.
No, no, no.
It's not, no.
If you read, read someof the stuff he wrote,
You can leave.
if you, honestly, if youread some of the stuff he
wrote, it's very interesting.
He had a, the funny thingabout it was, the thing
(38:07):
that changed his mind wasthat you had white Muslims
and you had black Muslims.
And he didn't realize that thewhite Muslims were sitting,
standing, um, laying rightnext to the black Muslims
praying to the same God.
That's what threw him off.
And that, Yeah, he talked aboutthem having blonde
hair and blue eyes.
yeah.
(38:27):
But the thing is though, hegoes into the whole thing.
Very interesting man.
And the crazy thing aboutit is, a lot of the stuff
he was speaking about inthe 50s and 60s, we're still
doing right now, which isprobably really, I mean,
just the maturation process.
Those are probably themost three people I'd
probably like to talk to.
Okay, up next?
(38:50):
up next, man.
This is tough.
I went first on oneof the questions.
I'm gonna go last.
So I guess Kai's up.
What about And Yeah.
Melissa.
Yeah.
What?
I trade all three of those tohave dinner with my mother.
(39:10):
I was thinking ofmy grandmother.
Cause I remember, I wouldsay my grandmother on
my mother's side, because Iwas very young when she died,
but I remember to this day.
I remember that she loved me.
I can just still feel it on me.
You know what I mean?
(39:32):
And when I talked tomy family members.
Oh, they were like, Ohyeah, she, she loved you.
She loves some Ki.
So I remember that.
And then I also rememberwhen she left New York to
move to North Carolina asa kid, I felt something
bad was going to happen.
And not long after that,we got the phone call
(39:52):
that she had passed away.
So if I could go and have dinnerwith her and just kind of get,
you know, a brain dump of thatlove, that would be good for me.
Uh, number two, you know what?
If I could meet Jesus.
(40:13):
And one moment, no, listen,here's why you can, you
can still say Jesus.
You ain't got to say, don'tuse Jesus, Jesus, baby, but
in the garden of guests, no,in the, in that moment, when
he prayed father, if it be thywill, let this cup pass from me.
We all gonna seeJesus eventually.
Well, but this, Ithought we had no topic,
(40:38):
Excuse me, she didn't say we gotno time here, but she got rules.
Obviously she got rules.
but we ain't had no rules withthe misconception question
that was, but anyway, I w Iwould want to know what, what
he was going through in thatmoment, because think about it.
He knew what his missionwas when he came.
But he who became, you know,God or, you know, God in the
(41:00):
flesh still prayed if, ifthere's some way that we can
get out of this father, letit happen, but nevertheless,
let your will be done.
So I want to know in yourhuman body, Jesus, what were
you feeling in that moment?
Okay.
Yeah.
God damn.
Going way down deep.
Now for you, cause youknow, I was sitting on my
(41:22):
patio one day and I was,I believe I was talking to
someone and it just hit me.
I was like, you know what?
Jesus prayed to let thecup pass from me, like the
mission I came to earth to do.
If you can make it do somethingdifferent to get the same
result, I'll rather do that,but still let your will be done.
(41:43):
What were you thinking?
Jesus in that moment?
Cause I'm thinking like if, ifhe can pray that prayer, who
are we when we go through shit?
Give you we got to giveourselves permission to
be human all the time.
Yeah.
And that, and that, andthat was his human side.
That was his human side,you know what, because anytime,
you know, you got to facesomething really tough, you
know, stuff is going to getthick and it's going to be deep.
(42:08):
You're like, man, if I could,I'd like to let this go.
But, but sometimes youknow ain't gonna, you know
you gotta go through it.
And you gotta, you gottago put in that work.
You know, I'm the thirdperson my biological father.
I never knew himI would love to sit down and ask
him why he cut out on my mom'sOh, Is he still living or
(42:32):
I haven't I've never met himI've never talked to him.
I have no idea whereor who he is Melissa.
That's why I would love to sitdown and ask him What was it
that made you just cut out?
It's completely Swayze ghost.
(42:55):
That was my three over to you.
Lee, yeah, top that.
I know, right?
Top that.
You know, I, I'm not gonnalie, two of yours were,
were something, uh, Iwas thinking about, but,
let's say a my, my, my first onewould be, uh, Tupac.
(43:15):
Um, because he wasoverall artist.
I like, I like him because,you know, he was a, he was
a poet, he was an actor.
He wasn't the best lyricist.
But he motivatedpeople in his lyrics.
Um, you know, as I gotolder, I understood how he
was preaching in his lyrics.
(43:37):
He would basically elevatehis voice to sound like he
was preaching in his lyrics.
And that's how peoplegravitated towards his lyrics.
He wasn't like, you know,uh, like a biggie where, you
know, he was very clever withhis words or whatever, but,
um, that was somebody I wouldwant to get to know as far as.
Why he did what he did.
Um, why do you start to befor, you know, different
(44:00):
artists here and there.
Um, and then get to knowhis, his, his overall black
Panther history side withhis mom, um, and then the
stepfather and all that stuff.
So I think that would bea, and on top of that,
he grew up in Baltimore.
So some things happen inBaltimore, but, um, yeah, I
think it would be a great,a great dinner and get to
know him in general, um,to get his side of the,
(44:22):
you know, certainstep, his stepfather actually,
his stepfather actually,committed a crime in New York
City.
He robbed a, he robbedan armored truck.
And the crazy thing is,that's like 15 minutes from
my house when he did that.
And he was born in jail.
So, yeah, yeah.
Um that's who was born in jail?
Two o'clock.
His pack.
(44:42):
in jail for him in jail.
Yeah.
I didn't even know that.
Yeah.
heart.
Black Panther.
I got it.
I got to go back tobrother's school, man.
Shewas, she was, uh, she, no, no.
But she, she gotherself in court and won
and was released.
Yeah, yeah,my second person, honestly, I
(45:04):
was gonna go with my father cuzI never knew my father as well.
Um the first time I methim was in a casket.
And that's how I got to knowmy, my half brother with
my brother and my sister.
But, you know, I'm a,I'm a shift a little bit.
Um, you know, I like to readbooks and I like poetry.
So I'm gonna go withErnest Hemingway.
(45:27):
I heard Ernest Hemingwaywas a troubled person.
Um, he actually was,he served in the army.
He actually got, I thinkhe got shot actually too.
Um, And he actually spent alot of time in Cuba, which
I visit his restaurant.
Um, so it was, it was dopeto like, hear some, some of
the stories and, and to, uh,actually, in Cuba.
(45:51):
yeah, he has a statuestill in Cuba of him.
I have a picture with meas a standing beside him.
Oh,So yeah, El Floridia, I think
that's what it's called.
So, know that.
Brothers.
Do y'all brothers beknowing a lot of stuff?
I just know stuff.
Well, there's a sisteron the phone.
the most, The worst, the mostdangerous thing you can give
(46:12):
a black man is a library card.
That's for sure.
That's true.
There's also awoman on the phone.
I know some stuff.
Thank you very much.
in, you're lumpedin with mankind.
So, so Ibut yeah, Ernest Hemingway was,
(46:34):
yeah, he was a troubled person.
Like he pretty much wasalcoholic in his later years.
And I just want toknow like what caused
him to drink as heavy.
I'm just curious.
You know, you, you only gettingcertain sides of his overall
life, but I want to hear fromhim, what is really going on?
Why did you do what youdid and this and the third?
(46:55):
So.
That'll be my second person.
And then my last personwould be, of course, you
know, Jesus Christ, becausefor one, I would want to
know what happened betweenyour teenage years to 37.
There's no Third, third, 33,excuse me.
(47:18):
33.
He didn't live to 37, bro.
33.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm close to 37.
So that's why, youknow, but yeah.
There's no there'sno no information in
between that time.
So I want to knowexactly what happened.
Um, Yeah, and just get insidethe story plus, you know, if
we already had dinner We don'tgotta pay for drinks because he
could turn the water to wine.
(47:39):
So True that.
True that.
That's my three rightguess, so I guess it's not
gonna be a show unless weblaspheme the good lord.
This fool saidblaspheme the good Lord.
(48:04):
No, I'm done.
Yo, I'm finished.
my last podcast.
Melissa can't with these fools.
You know what?
We completely lost Melissa.
You got a completelystraight face.
I know she ain'teven laugh, smirk.
You know what?
You got the mom face right now.
(48:26):
She's the, she gotthe mom face for real.
You don't know.
You're just like this.
I can't believe I'mwith these dudes.
I don't know whatthese guys are doing.
Oh, Well, that brought theGemini out when he said we
lump you in with mankind.
(48:47):
The other twin came out.
So, I had to hold, Ihad to hold my tongue.
Well, Melissa, youknow, a lot too.
You know, I tell youthat compliment you
all the time on that.
I didn't complimentthem to leave you out.
I was just giving theboys a compliment.
No, that's not what I mean.
Oh, what you mean?
When he said we lumpyou in with mankind.
(49:10):
I didn't like that.
I'm sorry.
Apologize, doc.
He just did.
He just said it.
sorry.
And that was genuine.
I know.
I know, I didn't mean it bad.
I didn't mean it bad.
You know, theydon't say womankind.
Mankind is everybody.
They just say womankind.
Who says womankind.
No one says womankind.
They do! No! Inthe united states,
(49:32):
what do you mean?
They do What do They say now?
It's not inclusive now Sheher it Is you can't we go.
Here we no, no.
Mankind is supposedto be inclusive.
It's just inclusive terminology.
It is.
It is.
(49:55):
They.
Them.
you can't say mailmanIt's mail person I'm a child.
I'm a I mean, I said lettercarrier because I know them, but
is it?
That's not What?
(50:17):
What?
Letter carrier?
That, All that stuff.
Yeah.
Like, police.
It's not policeman.
It's police officer.
It's not a fireman.
It's a firefighter.
Check this out.
We couldn't even callit a cockpit anymore.
In the military, I was Navy,worked on F 14 Tomcats,
and it had a cockpit.
(50:37):
But after a certain point,you couldn't call it that.
You had to call itthe flight station.
Right.
Right.
Okay, cockpit iswomen because women
started flying airplanesin the military.
Yeah, I mean, but some ofthese terminologies, I get you
have to make things change,but people don't say that to
be derogatory, to be mean.
I mean, it'sIt was just, a man's world It
was just a man's world and themen made man terminology and
(50:59):
now the terminology is changing.
It's cool Yeah, but it's not,but it's not, but it's
not a negative thing.
Yeah, but some peoplefeel like it is so you
have to be inclusiveJust have to yeah, we said
it earlier do unto othersas you have them doing to
you That's part of that'spart of being nice doc.
You said be niceI am being nice.
(51:20):
Oh, I know, but sometimesit's not meant to be mean.
When,Yeah, but it's but we live in
a sensitive world and if andif that's a sensitive subject
for her or anybody else We livein a world now where we try
to have to look at either yourespect it or you don't but
not Respecting it.
I'm just saying not youI'm just saying in general
with these with the way howdialogue is having to change
(51:44):
Either you respect it, orthere's consequences for
not expecting to respect it.
you know what?
I get what the point you'remaking, but sometimes it
gets a little bit too much.
Because now you have peoplewalking around telling people
there's 10 different genders.
It doesn't, It justdoesn't make sense.
on that note, Jesus.
I ain't going thereon this podcast, son.
(52:04):
Yeah.
I know, I get it, but peopledon't do it at a, people
don't do stuff intentionally.
It just doesn't, you know,know, people do stuff
intentionally, but I think,just, you know, It's just,
it's just a thing, bro.
Like you don't, when me, you andLee are hanging out or me, let's
say all us four are hanging outand we at the bar, we're not
going to act the same way atthe bar and paddling around and
(52:27):
wilding out than we do at work.
Right.
I'll be honest with you,I don't act like that
way in the bar anymore.
If I do But which way?
No, I'm just sayingwe loosen up.
We let our hair down.
I'm not saying, I'm notsaying we standing on the
bar doing coyote ugly.
I'm just saying we let our hairdown and the corporate kind.
I feel safe.
(52:48):
With you guys that I can let myhair down and be my true self.
That's all I'm saying.
It's kind of funny becausewhen I'm at my corporate
functions, I don't drink.
You can.
drink at corporate alcohol.
I mean, the corporate functions.
(53:09):
I mean, it's, but again,again, I don't think anything's
wrong with him not drinkingat a corporate function,
if that's a boundary he'sestablished for himself.
And Doc is not the kind of dudewho gets pissy drunk anyway.
Yeah.
But the thing is though, Imean, usually I, I got when
I, when I let loose andI gotta be around people.
I'm comfortable andpeople who I know Right.
(53:29):
That's right.
Right.
So, so that's the thing.
You know, there are thingsthat I'm not, I'm not going to
cross the line with you three,Yeah.
because I respectyour boundaries.
And if you tell me, Melissa,you don't like being lumped
into mankind, I'm going torespect that because I love you.
and I'll neversay mankind again, Preach.
(53:50):
No, that's not, I don't thinkyou can never, you don't
have to say never again.
It's a, it's a boundary.
It's a boundary for her.
I know, but I'venever heard womankind.
I honestly never heardthat in literature.
Ask ChatGPT.
Yes.
I have it open right now.
You know what the funny thingis, I've been using chat GPTA
lot lately now, which is crazy.
(54:11):
You should try the other one.
Microsoft Pilot isChatGPT on steroids.
Is it that good?
It's really good.
Yeah.
That's good.
It's good.
It's different in how itpresents the information.
I personally use both, and Ipaid the subscription for both.
Yeah, I use both, but there'sanother one too called Claude
(54:32):
You know what?
I've used that.
I've used that.
I like that.
I like that one.
But, but, uh, but you,I think, I think they
charged you for that.
Claude is free.
Okay.
All right, the term womankindhas traditionally been used
collectively to refer to allwomen paralleling the use
of mankind for all humanity.
(54:52):
Doom, doom, But mankind is forall humanity?
Did you hear that?
So the one, the word, itseems like the word womankind
was, let me see, however,But, for all humanity in 1922.
Doom.
Man, No.
Mankind meantmeans all humanity.
That's what they meaning by.
(55:13):
nope.
womankind is still understoodand occasionally used,
particularly in literary,poetic, A rhetorical context
to evoke a sense of universalout universality among women.
So it was created to create.
So if, if, if humankind felt itwas important enough to create
(55:34):
it, the term womankind, thenwe should respect people who
wants to be called womankind.
you know what?
And I get that, but when Iuse mankind, I mean, as an
inclusive term for all people,I get it.
We get that.
That's all.
That's it.
what.
You heard me.
No, I didn't.
I seriously didn't.
(55:55):
Okay.
All I meant it.
We get it, brother.
Okay.
eighth time, Okay.
Just making sure.
Don't want to miss it.
And Larry, stop laughing.
laughing Larry That's at Larry.
That's laughing Larry.
(56:15):
right, this has beena great conversation
why because what Lee Larry.
What, because we topic?
All right, we had no damn topicIf you'd have got that
question wrong, bro, I'dhave been mad at you.
I was sitting here lookingat you like he better
get that answer right.
(56:37):
Oh.
As always, guys, this was agreat conversation and we are
thankful to our listeners.
And as always, I seeyou because I am you.
Make sure to follow us onYouTube, Girl Talk Podcast,
if you just keep giving tosomebody and they're not
(00:01):
giving back, that's not theperson for you, they might
not be into you as much as youare into them and it's okay.
It happens.
Welcome to girl talk withthe boys for another episode
with these distinguishedgentlemen Today's topic
is we got no damn topic.
We just gone from the From ourheads and hearts and whatever
(00:25):
comes out comes out right guysThat's right.
So but look before weget started Let's go
ahead and introduceourselves starting with
It's your boy.
You know who I am.
Kaizu AKA K Diddy AKAKai Carbaby all the way
representing the A's.
(00:45):
By way of Brooklyn, New York.
brooklyn and the house oneIt's your boy Lee, folks.
I'm from, originallyfrom Virginia, but I'm
representing North Carolina.
Go Heels.
Durham City,Let's say where's your book
Who the Hoyles?
the who?
Go Heels, go Heels, go Heels.
(01:07):
the apple juice mustDurham City, Bull City.
I'm sorry, sir.
I'm sorry.
Blame it on the apple juice.
And last but notleast who we got.
hey, I'm Doc.
No big fanfare, just here.
Okay, mr.
8000 Yes.
Okay.
Wait till you get 8, 001.
You're gonna have a fit.
(01:29):
what?
Don't, don'tI share how many likes i've
had on a comment on a post?
You say, have you?
have I shared?
You shared it with me.
Yeah, with you.
Would you like to know Doc?
How many?
35, 000.
Oh, okay.
(01:51):
I passed you Mr.
8, 000.
Well, you're onway more than I am.
I don't do any social media.
All I did was commentNow all of a sudden, I
don't do social media.
That fool, look, he don't.
Man, it'sWell, well, well, well,
only thing I know iseveryone who I hear chirping
only don't even have 50.
(02:12):
50.
50 what?
You don't, you don't got 50.
Likes, impressions, nothing.
And I know, I know Lee got zero.
I know Lee got zero, and I knowa lie.
That's a lie.
Lee got over 200 Oh, shit.
from the first episode.
Oh, shit.
Shut down the show.
You know took you a wholedamn year to get
(02:33):
those 8, 000, son.
Hey, you know what?
Hey.
Take me and Kai off andjust put Lee in the center.
This Lee's, Lee's MVP.
It wasn't like, bythe way, it was views.
views, Likes.
Likes.
Whatever.
ups.
All right Lee got 200.
couldn't even, I couldn'teven fight back, fire
(02:53):
back on that one.
Lee got 200.
Let's go, Lee.
Lee, you're on the hot seat now.
Lee's on the hot seat now.
He got a whole 200 people.
we talking about this,huh people that are
listening, but this iswhat you got to deal with.
Let's see putso Lee's last video You got 216.
(03:21):
So kai was right Boom.
But, kai look, 135a thirst trap on now.
(03:48):
how many, how manytimes have I sat up here
and cared about likes?
I gave y'all thestory from Jump.
Me and Melissa was doing thisshit before likes was a thing.
that's rightAnd no one likes you.
And no one likes you.
Jesus loves me.
How about that?
This I know.
You know why?
You know how I know?
(04:08):
Your It's a Bible,No, the Bible.
Well, you don't want meto preach tonight, do you?
You doom.
know what?
140.
He's up to 140 now.
Um doc, you don't evenfollow girl talk, do you?
(04:31):
Exactly.
All right.
Clowns.
All right, so we gottaask questions today.
And get some responsesso the first question is
What is the most importantlesson life has taught
you who wants to go first?
(04:52):
boing, boing.
Hit it leeHow'd you know that was Philly?
You know what I'm saying?
Sister from another mister.
Here we go, here we go.
Let me see.
Always remain humble, you know.
Wow.
For me, you know, when I wasyoung and I started making
(05:14):
a little bit of money,uh, my head got too big.
And you know, I was prettymuch an a hole to some
people, but when you lose it,it humbles you real quick.
So.
Always remain humble.
That's, that'ssomething I learned.
A to the man I can't seeyou being an a hole though.
Yeah, he was a jerk tome when he first met me.
(05:37):
Thought I was gonna have tobody slam this dude, man.
Yeah, I'm like,who's at that party?
Remember who's at that party?
I'm not gonna call no names.
You remember?
My son was there with me.
My oldest son.
This remember that.
I mean, we've been to alot of parties together.
is when you, this is whenwe first met at the, at
our place of employment.
(06:01):
But anyway, yeah,about to say, we
gotta talk about that,I've witnessed, I've witnessed
the jerkness in this dude.
Lee where are you fromoriginally Durham?
Nah, I'm originallyfrom Danville, Virginia.
Oh, Yeah, they got a crime rateworse than New York City.
I had a big ass confederateflag.
On that per capita basis.
(06:23):
Because the same six peopleremember Danville because that
confederate flag, it flies high.
you got the same sixpeople robbing each other.
Huh?
It's the same six peoplerobbing each other.
This guy, man, I swear, man.
This guy, man.
Hey, Leroy, is it your turn yet?
(06:44):
No, not yet.
I got Wednesday.
Alright, give me them shoes.
Why don't you lendme them shoes?
Lee has um, humility.
Which is a good one.
You always have tostay humble indeed.
I think, I knowI'm guilty of it.
And life humbles youDefinitely does.
(07:06):
Who wants to go next?
I want to hear what Dochas to say on this one.
Mr.
Thousand.
Honestly, probably thebiggest thing I've ever
learned is perseverance.
Nothing ever, evercan beat perseverance.
Because the funny thing is youonly succeed, everyone thinks
you succeed on the first time.
And the crazy thing iseverybody thinks that um,
(07:26):
success is a one time thing.
Success isn't.
Success is someone who'stried one more time.
And you're gonna have failure.
You're gonna have failure.
So as long as you persevere,no matter how many times you
fail, eventually you'll win.
So that's the biggestthing I've ever learned.
Success is a destination.
Not a, not, no, six, howdoes it, what's the saying?
(07:48):
Success is a journey, not anot destination.
Yeah.
Or you can say like Aaliyah,dust yourself off and try again.
Or you can just sayDonnie McLarkin.
We fall down, but we get up.
Wake it up.
Or you can say whatMichael Jackson say.
You know I'm bad.
You know it.
(08:09):
You know.
How you like me now, baby?
Shots gotta stop.
Oh, first first off, first off,I don't have, I have to take
off, um, get a tank top.
So I can't do it.
So I'm just going to sit here.
I up.
Shots fired, folks! Shots fired!Right.
(08:33):
Kai, let's see, let'ssee your words of wisdom.
What do you have?
My words of wisdom is that thebiggest lesson life has taught
me was be self confident.
I struggled so bad withthat early in life and
that shit just ruined me.
Yeah.
if you're, think about it.
If you have self confidence andthen incorporate the humility
(08:55):
and perseverance You don't haveto put on a show for anybody.
You know who you are.
You're self aware.
If you're self confident,you're self aware.
I'm talking about a selfconfidence that's built
on find out foundationalprinciples, not just being a,
you know, a jerk or conceited,high minded individual.
So that for me wasa game changer.
(09:16):
So couple, yeah.
So I'll just say this cup, thatcouple with the, you know, then
I picked up the humility pieceand then the perseverance piece,
no one can stop the juggernaut.
No, that, that's, that'sa very good point.
A lot of people todayaren't self-aware.
(09:36):
'cause, um, you have no idea.
and, the crazy thing aboutit is there's a saying,
there's a, there's a famousquote, if you gotta, you
gotta stand for somethingor you fall for anything.
And a lot of people willnot stand for something.
Everyone wants to ride fenceI think so.
That's not what we'resaying now in America.
It's clearly divided.
awareness comes from, youknow, different things.
(10:01):
You could have Lost yourself esteem as a child or
a, you know, or even as anadult, somebody can wear
you down so much that youlose your self confidence.
So, the key is making sure thatyou keep the self confidence
and you understand that you.
You are enough and that youare better than what others
(10:24):
are telling you that you are.
That's the key to it.
Because it's not somethingthat you automatically have.
Oh, without a doubt.
You know, peoplehave to pour into you Yeah.
and it needs to be consistent.
It can't be only when, you know,you do something good, but most
of the time you get your asswhipped for doing something bad.
Yeah, or a rollercoaster, you'regood, you're bad, you're good,
(10:47):
you're bad, you're good, you'reYou have no idea.
You're confused as hell at thatYeah.
No.
And, and that's the, the thingis, is who you surround yourself
around, around yourself.
Unfortunately, it's true.
If you surround yourselfwith 8 losers, guess
who's going to be the 9th?
If you surround yourselfwith 9 winners, guess
who's going to be the 10th?
Yeah.
Skippy.
(11:08):
Orpeople that are just boring to
though.
You gotta look atyourself and then look
at the people around you.
Um, because you don't really,you don't really see who's
around you until you look atyourself and say, Hey, do I
wanna, how do I get better?
How do I change my, you know,My lifestyle or whatever, and
then you start looking at yourfriends outside of what you,
you know, you see in yourself.
And then you go from thereand cut everybody off.
(11:30):
That's not doing, youknow, you justice in life.
It's okay to outgrow people.
Oh, for sure.
Yeah, Everybody's not goingto transcend with you Yeah.
Which is sad.
Whichand everybody's not going to
want to be pulled up when youreach down to pull them up.
(11:50):
that's very true.
I definitely agree withThat's why, that's why
my thing right now, fam,is I am no longer sowing
seeds in infertile ground.
Because think about it.
If I'm sowing seeds in infertileground, and then the other
principle is you reap what yousow, what am I going to reap?
(12:14):
Y'all feeling me on that?
I know I said I wasn'tgoing to preach tonight.
No, what you'resaying makes sense.
What you're saying makes sense.
But the thing is, I mean,personally, me, I always try.
I always try to see.
Because you don't know what'sgoing to be the catalyst to
change, for someone to change.
And hopefully, the couple ofpearls of wisdom that I give
them, or a couple of things Igive them, or show them, show
(12:35):
them my, my fortitude, um,show them, give them a piece
of knowledge, that might bethe, that, that might be the
thing that says, hey, it turnsthem around, or gets them on
the path to turning around.
I mean, that's kind of self,that's kind of me over, over
projecting, but you always wantto see if you can help somebody
be better than what they are.
That's my number one goal.
(12:56):
Well, what was yours, Melissa?
Did she say hers?
I Yeah.
Yeah, I I just cosigned.
Um, So you don't, youdon't have one.
think, I think, I think theladies who follow girl talk
with the boys would love tohear from the lady of girl talk.
I think the most importantlesson that I've learned
(13:16):
and I'm still learning isyou cannot trust everyone.
Rewind.
Yeah.
So, you know, I,I'm always so naive.
Like I give people the benefitof the doubt and I trust people
and I have conversations withpeople and then I help people.
(13:37):
But they don't alwayshave good intentions.
People don't alwayshave good intentions.
They will use the shhout of you for what they
want to use you for.
And then when you needsomething, or you need, you
know, a little bit of help,they'll be like, I pray for you.
Well, Don't lose that.
(14:00):
Don't lose that.
The reason why I say that isbecause when you stop being
open to people and stop wanting,wanting to see the best out of
people you get very cynical.
And I hate to say it, um,being from New York, um, I
expect you to steal from me.
I expect you to dosomething jacked up to me.
And then when you don't,I'm, I'm happily, I'm
(14:21):
surprised, I'm surprised.
But when you do, I'm like,okay, I'm okay with that.
And that's not the wayto go through life.
The way you, the way you'redoing it is way better.
In my opinion, it's way better.
Don't lose that quality.
Always look for thepositive in people.
Always look for the good.
I mean, unfortunately, whenI, just being from where I'm
from, you just say, hey, Iknow this dude's gonna steal.
(14:43):
Oh, he stole.
Alright, point proven.
yeah, I mean, we're, well,three of us are New Yorkers here
and I understand watching yourback and stuff like that, but.
When you're in a circle withsomeone and you've, you think
that you've earned their trustand you, they've, and vice
versa, and then they turnaround and stab you, that's
(15:06):
a different type of pain.
Like that's a different type ofbetrayal.
That's what I'm talking about.
and you know whatthe funny thing is?
And that's tough.
That's tough.
But that happens to everybodythough, unfortunately.
Yeah, I agree with that.
I was going to say, um, neverstopped being, I'm just gonna
piggyback on what you said, doc.
I would say, um, just neverstopped being a good person.
(15:28):
I mean, in general, becauseeven though that person did
something bad to you in returnof, you know, your, your,
whatever you did in kindness,um, I, you're still going to
get a blessing from it, right?
Regardless of whatever happensfrom, What good deed that you
did to this person or gavethis person, whatever happened,
(15:51):
uh, you're still going toget a blessing in return.
So for me, I try to be a goodperson in general and stop
looking for things in return.
Because once you look forthings in return, you're,
you're, you're not, you'reprobably going to not get
your blessing the way youthink you're going to get it.
Just, just be open and justsay, Hey, I, I'm doing it out
of the kindness of my heart.
I don't care about, youknow, anything else.
(16:13):
And I guarantee you, onceyou start doing that, you'll
get a bigger blessing.
Bigger than what you thoughtyou were gonna get, so.
yeah.
But I think, let me, letme say this, Melissa.
Uh, I don't, I want to make surewe're not missing her point.
I don't think she's sayingthat she wants to stop
being a good person.
I think what she's saying is.
She needs to use better wisdomand who she gives it to.
(16:33):
You know, right.
you can't, um, cast yourpearls before swine.
Yeah, I know what you'resaying, but the thing is
though, you don't know who'sgood, you don't know who's bad.
So my whole thing is, youcan't figure out, hey, I
but in the process of buildingthe relay, you just don't,
you, we, the relationshipthat us four have on this
call, the corporate on it,on the call, son, on the
(16:56):
podcast, you know, we've builta relationship that we trust
each other and we haven'tever jerked each other around.
And, and we've, and we showcharacteristics and qualities.
That, you know, indicate tome, especially that I can trust
all of y'all with my life, withmy deepest, darkest secrets.
And I know it's notgoing to end up on IG.
(17:18):
So as you build, as you builda relationship and you get
to know people that are doingthat, you have to cut them off.
That's true.
that's fair.
That's aYou look at it, just look at our
circle fellows, you know, justthe, so now we've talked about
this circle on the podcast.
Now look at the circle andnot the fellows text thread.
Yeah.
(17:39):
We all look, whenwe get together, we
don't ever talk about.
How many women we smashing?
How many VIP tableswe don't board up?
We don't ever talk about that.
We're talking about stocks.
We're talking aboutinvesting in real estate.
We're talking aboutstarting businesses.
Think about all the timeswe spent together and how
many times did we sit aroundand share, you know, stupid
(18:01):
sex stories, which is dumb.
But you gotta understand,you gotta understand,
there's a maturation process.
And you gotta understand,we've been, a lot of us have
been with each other for 9,10, five, at the minimum five
years, at the maximum 15, 20.
So you got a maturationprocess where things grow.
Like I've, and the crazything is, like I've, like
(18:21):
I've, I've grown to knowall, a lot about Lee.
And the crazy thing aboutit is he's a scary musician.
Like he knows he, hecan listen to beats.
He knows the beats he knows.
And the crazy thing about itis we drove home from Atlanta
one time and he was justshowing me how many different
songs are sampled fromsongs from the 60s and 50s.
(18:42):
And I'm, I'm blown away.
I mean, a lot of JayZ's stuff is not even,
it's not even current.
He steals a lot of music,which is
Damn, so Jay Z is a thief now.
Damn, son.
You know what?
You know what?
You really need toThey coming, they
coming for you.
All those 8, 000 views,it's gonna be negative.
They gonna removeall them views, Jack.
(19:04):
yeah, him, him and Diddy.
Him and Diddy.
Yeah, they pay for thesamples though, right, bro?
They don't just steal them.
Yeah, but the thing is though,you gotta understand, but
there is actually one song,that Girls Girls Girls song.
He steals that almost verbatimfrom another group from the 60s.
Yeah, but that's, that's, that'sa lot of people who do that.
So Oh, yeah, I know.
(19:24):
But the I was about to say, Iwould have known.
I mean, I know, butthe thing is, though, I
thought he was a lyricist.
I'm like, man, thisis genius, man.
I can't believe he wrote this.
And I, and you know what?
He didn't.
I What's the old adage?
a lot.
I listen to old school rap,but there is a um, Jay Z
and Kanye song where theyuse Otis Redding sample.
(19:47):
Mm hmm.
She's And I mean, I was like,Oh, this beat is sick.
Like, you know, jamming it.
I asked my daughter, Hey,you ever heard of this song?
She said, yeah, three years ago.
you know, do you know,do you know what the
funny thing about it is?
(20:08):
When you, when you listento stuff like that, it
makes you go back andstudy like Otis Redding.
Otis Redding was avery dynamic musician.
I mean, like, and the crazything is, like that Ray
Charles movie, I never knewthis dude put out so much
Music, right, yeah.
right I'm, oh, Ray Charlesis a monster.
Oh, definitelyAnd then, and you think
(20:29):
about it, he was the firstartist to get his master's.
Mm hmm.
And the Yeah, he sure was,know what?
There was actuallya line in that movie
that's very prophetic.
He goes like this, he, uh,he goes, he looks at him and
goes, hey, I want my master's.
And the guy looks at himand goes, nobody ever gets
his masters, not even Elvis.
(20:51):
And he looks at me,if you want me, that's
what it's going to take.
Now, how, how, and the crazything is now, what kind of man
that you talk about confidence,you talk about perseverance.
I mean, that guy is theepitome of strength.
When you sit there in thatoffice, where he's from, what
he's no, what he knows, and he'sblind, he can't see anything.
(21:13):
And he, and he goes over andsays, Hey, I want my masters.
And the funny thing aboutit is, his family is set
up for so many generations.
I mean, it is unbelievable.
Every single time you heara Ray Charles song, his
family's making money.
Yeah I mean, which is crazy.
This guy had to, he, hehad the fortitude to say,
hey, I want my masters.
(21:35):
Most guys would be like,hey, I'll just take this.
I'll take this.
I'll take this.
And not only that he hadthe fortitude to not use his
handicap as a as a a hindranceWell, he had, he
had a tough mother.
His mother was a tough woman,tough woman, But, you know what?
She made, she made a guy.
And you think aboutit, this guy's walking
(21:55):
around New York City.
Imagine, you're blind andyou're in New York City.
I mean, that's crazy.
I Nobody was messing withLil Ray Charles, come on.
come Nobody was gonna messwith Ray Charles.
Kai, you know, Kai, youknow, you know better
than anybody else.
In New York City, walking downthe street, at half the time,
this guy didn't even use a cane.
He did not,I don't know what new york
city was like in the 60sRight, yeah, during his time?
(22:19):
It wasn't, it wasn't,please, come on.
I don't think it wasn'tyou had the mob and
all that but it wasn'tI think back then, I think
back then, the artists had alot of more, a lot of respect.
Somebody like RayCharles had respect.
I don't think people would.
Nowadays, you got theseclowns out here, you have an
artist, they gonna try him.
Cause they wanna be thatdude to try this artist.
(22:40):
You know what?
I don't even know.
I don't, I don't, I don'teven understand that.
I don't, I don'tunderstand that at all.
All right.
Let's bring it back inYeah, we done went
all the way offit back in bring it back in
we all got no damnWe ain't got no damn
How we, how can we go offa topic we don't have?
Ha ha ha!Okay, back to you, Melissa Ann.
That's right.
Say it it back.
(23:01):
What'd I say?
We ain't got no damn topicWe sure damn ain't got no damn
topic.
All right.
All right.
So the next question Iswhat are some misconceptions
you have had about?
love l o v e Which man Somisconception.
(23:25):
Oh, common, oh,most common for me?
That, that lovewas just a feeling?
When actually love, lovewas a choice, not a feeling.
You choose to love, you chooseto love, you choose to love your
spouse, your mate, your partner.
not going to likethem all the time.
(23:46):
So, what is love?
What is love?
to youWell, love is defined as a
strong and ardent, genuineconcern for the well
being of another person.
Let me repeatyou believe there's a difference
between love and being in loveI think, I think love, I
(24:12):
believe, I don't, I don'tsubscribe to the, I love you,
but I'm not in love with you.
know what?
You gotta They're different.
There are different levels.
Let me finish.
There are differentlevels to love, right?
And the top, if we were toput love in a hierarchy,
the top is agape love.
(24:34):
And so that's the definitionI just gave to you guys, the
strong, ardent, genuine concernfor the well being of another.
Whether you like them or not,you might not like them as
a person, but if they felldown and hurt themselves,
would you help them up?
(24:55):
And that's, you know, that'sa real mediocre example.
No, it's not.
It's Do unto others as you wouldhave them do unto you.
See, you know what?
That is an honest, that'san honest aversion.
I mean, seriously, if you,if you saw someone you
didn't like fall, wouldyou stop and help them?
You know what?
talking aboutrelationships, by the way.
If you, you're in arelationship with somebody,
(25:17):
don't, don't, this is notlike, um, where it's your best
buddy and they fall and thenTrue.
That, yeah, yeah, you're right.
You're right.
This is about relationship.
We need to bring, weneed to bring it back
to the relationship.
Okay, relationship is different.
Relationship is different.
Yeah, Yeah, I think thesame thing applies.
I mean, here's what I would say.
(25:37):
Just because you're notwith someone doesn't mean
you stop loving them.
I agree withYou can, you can love
somebody and be incompatiblelove.
There's love and inlove, in my opinion.
Okay, and I believe peopleare entitled to that.
I don't see anything wrongwith being entitled to that
opinion about love and in love.
(25:58):
Yeah.
I think you can still lovethe person and you're not,
that you're not with them,but you're not in no longer in
love with them as time passes.
That's fair.
Anybody else?
(26:20):
reciprocity.
I would say reciprocity forme, um, just because you so
for me, and it goes back towhat I said earlier, you know.
It's kind of me, you know, goingagainst myself when I say this,
but if I do something good andif I'm in a relationship with
(26:41):
somebody and I do somethinggood, I expect something in
return almost because I'mdoing it, but I'm doing it
because I want to do it.
How can I explain this?
No, you're doing good.
You're doing good.
Keep going.
You no, because it's like, youknow, you're doing it because
you want to be with thatperson and you don't want to.
(27:04):
Keep pouring into that personand not pointing back into you.
That'sThat's why I said reciprocity.
So you expect something inreturn, but you don't want
to basically tie yourself outor just give all you can to
somebody and they're not doingnothing back in return, but
Well, I'm not fine.
I'm not understandingwhat, you know, what's
(27:25):
the misconception there.
Oh, because I mentioned not,not remember I said earlier,
I was saying, you know, youdo kind of things with certain
people, but you don't wantto expect anything back.
That's why I said, um, I'mkind of like a hypocrite
in this case because IWell in my head I was thinking
it was kind of like spade youOkay, same thing.
(27:50):
No, butI'm not, I'm still not following
joking.
But what I wasreally thinking was.
It doesn't have to be,um, tangible things,
Well, he's kind of, he's kind ofmaking it like a quid pro quo.
Like, I've done this.
I've done this other than this.
I'm expecting this.
but couldn't it be just athank you or showing an, yeah,
(28:15):
oh, no, no, he's appreciation.
It can be appreciation,but at some point you're
like, all right, man,I've done, no, no, no,
Lee's keeping score.
well, give us an example.
Maybe I'm notfollowing because I
Because I'm not followingthe misconception.
All right.
Do you want them?
Let me explain it for you.
Like Lee is thinking andI'm going to tell me I'm
from wrongly, but I thinkI got you on this one.
(28:37):
Like say for instance, Lee makesher breakfast in the morning.
He does the dishes and he walksthe dog and he cleans the house.
He's expecting her to bedoing something like he's
not expecting to thank you.
He's expecting her to dosomething, maybe not as
grandiose, but he's expectingher to do something like maybe
take him away for the weekend,you know, doing a special thing
(29:00):
he likes to be done to himor, you know, rub his back.
He's waiting forsomething to come back.
He's keeping score.
And so, so I'm gonna challengethat process a little
bit because I thinkreciprocity in relationships
should be the norm.
One person, one, I thinkreciprocity should be the norm.
(29:22):
If, if look, if I'm again,sowing seeds into infertile
ground, if you're thetype of person that likes
reciprocity, then you needto be with somebody who's
going to give that to you.
Oh, you'reBut if you're, if you're
good, if you're good with justacting and acts of service
in the relationship, and thatfulfills you and gives you
energy and not getting anythingreturned, doesn't bother
you, then that's okay too.
(29:45):
But if it's impacting yourhappiness and your, you
know, your comfort in therelationship, then you need to
think about and challenge that.
That's very true.
I don't say, I don'tsay anything wrong.
Now, if, if you, if yourintention is every time you
do something, you're doing itto expect something in return,
then that's a different story.
Then that needs to bechallenged as well.
(30:06):
No, I don't think, Idon't think I expect
every single time but Youexpect things to stop.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Cause you I still don't seethe misconception,
I think is a was not being said.
It's a level of care.
Is that other person showingthat they also care he's
showing that I care and I'veinvested in you, but you're not
(30:29):
showing me the same thing back.
but what's themisconception there though?
That's the part I'm getting to.
well, I mean, Maybe you justdon't use that word.
my whole thing is Iunderstand what Lee's saying.
No, but no, but what Lee's doingis, what Lee's doing is he's
(30:49):
I didn't know we could do that.
No, Lee's keeping a score.
got no topic.
This guy thought an engineercame straight on out.
(31:09):
Well where is the misconception?
Analytical asses.
No, I'm just, I was justtrying to understand, son.
I don't want to justbe like, uh huh.
Yeah, right.
Uh huh.
Right on.
Right on, bro.
no.
And Lee, and the funnything about it is, I mean,
I understand where Lee'scoming from, but you know, I
look at things a little bitdifferently, you know, I mean,
(31:31):
technically what I'm about.
It's just that I give, andI don't, I give it to you
without expecting it back.
So, if you give mesomething back, great.
I give it to you because Iwanted to give it to you.
I never, I never Give it to me.
Don't say that with me.
(31:55):
I wasn't saying it to you, son.
Don't say it aroundwas just doing background.
Right Don't do background,foreground, sideground.
No, Can't say, you can't saynothing no more in this
So Doc, you will date someoneand just give and give and give
no, no, it comes to a point.
It comes to a point whereI'm like, hey, I'm giving
and no one, and I'm notgetting anything returned.
(32:17):
So, hey, it's got to stop.
You know?
ButThat's what I that's pretty much
what I was getting at, yeah.
But you know whatthe thing is though?
I mean, like a prime example,Like when we all hang out
together, Like Kai, me,I mean, Um, and Larry.
We all get together.
joke.
That's is Lee.
(32:39):
inside joke.
No, I'm joking.
But the funny thing about it is,Is that if Kai gives me money,
There's nothing, oh man, I gottapay him back, Or he's keeping
track, or if I give Lee or Kaimoney, No one's keeping track.
It's not that deep.
My whole thing is is just that,a dollar to payday?
yeah, for the record, for therecord, for the record, Doc
(33:02):
has never given either of usmoney, nor have we ever asked.
Because we are all standingon our feet with great
jobs with great pay.
Just to make that clear.
Oh, and you know what?
I'll give you, I'llgive you an example.
I'll give you an example.
Like Kai is a real giving guy.
Like we'll all be thereand he'll order like
(33:23):
four or five pizzas.
So I'll come up and give himlike a 30, 40, 50 bucks simply
for the fact is cause I knowhe's doing it out of the,
out of kindness of his heart.
He's not saying, Oh, he gaveme, he gave me, we just do that.
And that's what I,that's what I, that's
what I'm talking about.
Yeah, but again, we'regoing away from the
relationship piece.
(33:44):
Your relationship is if Ikeep, if I keep giving, if I
keep giving to a girl and shestops giving and she's, and she
doesn't show any reciprocation.
Well, I've never done, I'venever had that happen, but I'm
just saying, if you just keepgiving to somebody and they're
not giving back, that's notthe person for you, they might
not be into you as much as youare into them and it's okay.
It happens.
Let me give you an example ofthe kind of reciprocity I like.
(34:07):
So I, and we, everybodyknows I love to cook.
And you know, there wasa time where I'll wake up
Saturday morning, yo fellas,I'm having a cookout.
Be here by two andeverybody would show up.
And let's just say, you know,I had a young lady as a guest.
Now, if that young lady says,I'm going to wash the dishes.
You go to bed sinceyou cooked all day.
(34:30):
That's reciprocity for me.
Yeah.
That's all I'm saying.
yeah, I And you know what?
And the funny thingis, you want that from
everyone you deal with.
Because like when Kai says, hey,come on over, bring something.
You know?
You're expecting, I mean,everyone goes above and
beyond to bring stuff.
So it's like, there's way toomuch food, there's way too much
(34:50):
drink, there's a lot of stuff.
But that's a good thing.
And sometimes you don'teven say brainy thing.
I just ask like, hey, youwant me to break something?
a function where he's asked youyeah.
But the thing is though, wehave that kind of relationships
where, You're, I mean, it'sjust like, hey, I want, I want
to add, I want to contribute.
(35:11):
And that's what,that's how it is.
Now some people, somepeople don't do that.
And those people areno longer in my circle.
yeah, but the thing isthough, but Yeah.
Yeah.
Look, look, you know,but you also don't have that
I mean, I need, Ihave to have that.
Yeah.
I But what you don't,but you don't have
the same relationship.
You don't have the samerelationship with those people.
That's why they're nolonger in the circle.
(35:31):
So I have this muchrelationship with them.
See that?
Hello.
Hold on.
yeah, This, this, this manymakes sense.
Kind of Atlanta, get some ofthat, um, the Brussels sprouts.
I hate Russell Spence.
Copy on the ones and twos.
(35:53):
and the threes and fours, baby.
Don't All right,say that either.
here goes the last question.
Maybe, because we ain'tgot no damn topic.
If you had the opportunityto have dinner with three
people from history, whowould they be and why?
(36:19):
Go start with you, Doc.
Um, honestly, the first one I'dwant to speak to is Sun Tzu.
out of war Yeah.
Because just the way he looksat things, um, is just amazing.
(36:41):
And believe it or not, theguy who I really would like
to speak to, Josiah Henson.
Who?
Josiah Henson.
Everyone knows him as Uncleschools, uncle Tom.
Right, right, right.
the funny thing aboutit is, if you understand
the story of Uncle Tom,calling someone Uncle Tom is
actually a positive thing.
(37:02):
Not so much because thatguy was based off of him.
The guy was very dynamic.
Very dynamic.
I mean, it was amazingsome of the stuff he did.
And, and possibly, I'm tryingto think, probably the third guy
I'd want to speak to, becauseI've been listening to a lot of
the stuff he says, is Malcolm X.
And because, not so muchfrom where he ended up,
(37:25):
but from where he started.
And then once he started,then he got the mind shift.
And then once he found out,what the Nation of Islam and
what Elijah Muhammad was doing,it kind of threw him off.
And some people, thatkind of threw him off.
And he's like, no, I'm stillgoing to stick to my guns and
what I've been doing and I'mgoing to stay on the path.
(37:46):
And then when he wentto, then when he went to
Jerusalem and he went downthere and he learned from, Who's
went to Mecca.
We all saw the movie.
No, no, no.
It's not, no.
If you read, read someof the stuff he wrote,
You can leave.
if you, honestly, if youread some of the stuff he
wrote, it's very interesting.
He had a, the funny thingabout it was, the thing
(38:07):
that changed his mind wasthat you had white Muslims
and you had black Muslims.
And he didn't realize that thewhite Muslims were sitting,
standing, um, laying rightnext to the black Muslims
praying to the same God.
That's what threw him off.
And that, Yeah, he talked aboutthem having blonde
hair and blue eyes.
yeah.
(38:27):
But the thing is though, hegoes into the whole thing.
Very interesting man.
And the crazy thing aboutit is, a lot of the stuff
he was speaking about inthe 50s and 60s, we're still
doing right now, which isprobably really, I mean,
just the maturation process.
Those are probably themost three people I'd
probably like to talk to.
Okay, up next?
(38:50):
up next, man.
This is tough.
I went first on oneof the questions.
I'm gonna go last.
So I guess Kai's up.
What about And Yeah.
Melissa.
Yeah.
What?
I trade all three of those tohave dinner with my mother.
(39:10):
I was thinking ofmy grandmother.
Cause I remember, I wouldsay my grandmother on
my mother's side, because Iwas very young when she died,
but I remember to this day.
I remember that she loved me.
I can just still feel it on me.
You know what I mean?
(39:32):
And when I talked tomy family members.
Oh, they were like, Ohyeah, she, she loved you.
She loves some Ki.
So I remember that.
And then I also rememberwhen she left New York to
move to North Carolina asa kid, I felt something
bad was going to happen.
And not long after that,we got the phone call
(39:52):
that she had passed away.
So if I could go and have dinnerwith her and just kind of get,
you know, a brain dump of thatlove, that would be good for me.
Uh, number two, you know what?
If I could meet Jesus.
(40:13):
And one moment, no, listen,here's why you can, you
can still say Jesus.
You ain't got to say, don'tuse Jesus, Jesus, baby, but
in the garden of guests, no,in the, in that moment, when
he prayed father, if it be thywill, let this cup pass from me.
We all gonna seeJesus eventually.
Well, but this, Ithought we had no topic,
(40:38):
Excuse me, she didn't say we gotno time here, but she got rules.
Obviously she got rules.
but we ain't had no rules withthe misconception question
that was, but anyway, I w Iwould want to know what, what
he was going through in thatmoment, because think about it.
He knew what his missionwas when he came.
But he who became, you know,God or, you know, God in the
(41:00):
flesh still prayed if, ifthere's some way that we can
get out of this father, letit happen, but nevertheless,
let your will be done.
So I want to know in yourhuman body, Jesus, what were
you feeling in that moment?
Okay.
Yeah.
God damn.
Going way down deep.
Now for you, cause youknow, I was sitting on my
(41:22):
patio one day and I was,I believe I was talking to
someone and it just hit me.
I was like, you know what?
Jesus prayed to let thecup pass from me, like the
mission I came to earth to do.
If you can make it do somethingdifferent to get the same
result, I'll rather do that,but still let your will be done.
(41:43):
What were you thinking?
Jesus in that moment?
Cause I'm thinking like if, ifhe can pray that prayer, who
are we when we go through shit?
Give you we got to giveourselves permission to
be human all the time.
Yeah.
And that, and that, andthat was his human side.
That was his human side,you know what, because anytime,
you know, you got to facesomething really tough, you
know, stuff is going to getthick and it's going to be deep.
(42:08):
You're like, man, if I could,I'd like to let this go.
But, but sometimes youknow ain't gonna, you know
you gotta go through it.
And you gotta, you gottago put in that work.
You know, I'm the thirdperson my biological father.
I never knew himI would love to sit down and ask
him why he cut out on my mom'sOh, Is he still living or
(42:32):
I haven't I've never met himI've never talked to him.
I have no idea whereor who he is Melissa.
That's why I would love to sitdown and ask him What was it
that made you just cut out?
It's completely Swayze ghost.
(42:55):
That was my three over to you.
Lee, yeah, top that.
I know, right?
Top that.
You know, I, I'm not gonnalie, two of yours were,
were something, uh, Iwas thinking about, but,
let's say a my, my, my first onewould be, uh, Tupac.
(43:15):
Um, because he wasoverall artist.
I like, I like him because,you know, he was a, he was
a poet, he was an actor.
He wasn't the best lyricist.
But he motivatedpeople in his lyrics.
Um, you know, as I gotolder, I understood how he
was preaching in his lyrics.
(43:37):
He would basically elevatehis voice to sound like he
was preaching in his lyrics.
And that's how peoplegravitated towards his lyrics.
He wasn't like, you know,uh, like a biggie where, you
know, he was very clever withhis words or whatever, but,
um, that was somebody I wouldwant to get to know as far as.
Why he did what he did.
Um, why do you start to befor, you know, different
(44:00):
artists here and there.
Um, and then get to knowhis, his, his overall black
Panther history side withhis mom, um, and then the
stepfather and all that stuff.
So I think that would bea, and on top of that,
he grew up in Baltimore.
So some things happen inBaltimore, but, um, yeah, I
think it would be a great,a great dinner and get to
know him in general, um,to get his side of the,
(44:22):
you know, certainstep, his stepfather actually,
his stepfather actually,committed a crime in New York
City.
He robbed a, he robbedan armored truck.
And the crazy thing is,that's like 15 minutes from
my house when he did that.
And he was born in jail.
So, yeah, yeah.
Um that's who was born in jail?
Two o'clock.
His pack.
(44:42):
in jail for him in jail.
Yeah.
I didn't even know that.
Yeah.
heart.
Black Panther.
I got it.
I got to go back tobrother's school, man.
Shewas, she was, uh, she, no, no.
But she, she gotherself in court and won
and was released.
Yeah, yeah,my second person, honestly, I
(45:04):
was gonna go with my father cuzI never knew my father as well.
Um the first time I methim was in a casket.
And that's how I got to knowmy, my half brother with
my brother and my sister.
But, you know, I'm a,I'm a shift a little bit.
Um, you know, I like to readbooks and I like poetry.
So I'm gonna go withErnest Hemingway.
(45:27):
I heard Ernest Hemingwaywas a troubled person.
Um, he actually was,he served in the army.
He actually got, I thinkhe got shot actually too.
Um, And he actually spent alot of time in Cuba, which
I visit his restaurant.
Um, so it was, it was dopeto like, hear some, some of
the stories and, and to, uh,actually, in Cuba.
(45:51):
yeah, he has a statuestill in Cuba of him.
I have a picture with meas a standing beside him.
Oh,So yeah, El Floridia, I think
that's what it's called.
So, know that.
Brothers.
Do y'all brothers beknowing a lot of stuff?
I just know stuff.
Well, there's a sisteron the phone.
the most, The worst, the mostdangerous thing you can give
(46:12):
a black man is a library card.
That's for sure.
That's true.
There's also awoman on the phone.
I know some stuff.
Thank you very much.
in, you're lumpedin with mankind.
So, so Ibut yeah, Ernest Hemingway was,
(46:34):
yeah, he was a troubled person.
Like he pretty much wasalcoholic in his later years.
And I just want toknow like what caused
him to drink as heavy.
I'm just curious.
You know, you, you only gettingcertain sides of his overall
life, but I want to hear fromhim, what is really going on?
Why did you do what youdid and this and the third?
(46:55):
So.
That'll be my second person.
And then my last personwould be, of course, you
know, Jesus Christ, becausefor one, I would want to
know what happened betweenyour teenage years to 37.
There's no Third, third, 33,excuse me.
(47:18):
33.
He didn't live to 37, bro.
33.
I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm close to 37.
So that's why, youknow, but yeah.
There's no there'sno no information in
between that time.
So I want to knowexactly what happened.
Um, Yeah, and just get insidethe story plus, you know, if
we already had dinner We don'tgotta pay for drinks because he
could turn the water to wine.
(47:39):
So True that.
True that.
That's my three rightguess, so I guess it's not
gonna be a show unless weblaspheme the good lord.
This fool saidblaspheme the good Lord.
(48:04):
No, I'm done.
Yo, I'm finished.
my last podcast.
Melissa can't with these fools.
You know what?
We completely lost Melissa.
You got a completelystraight face.
I know she ain'teven laugh, smirk.
You know what?
You got the mom face right now.
(48:26):
She's the, she gotthe mom face for real.
You don't know.
You're just like this.
I can't believe I'mwith these dudes.
I don't know whatthese guys are doing.
Oh, Well, that brought theGemini out when he said we
lump you in with mankind.
(48:47):
The other twin came out.
So, I had to hold, Ihad to hold my tongue.
Well, Melissa, youknow, a lot too.
You know, I tell youthat compliment you
all the time on that.
I didn't complimentthem to leave you out.
I was just giving theboys a compliment.
No, that's not what I mean.
Oh, what you mean?
When he said we lumpyou in with mankind.
(49:10):
I didn't like that.
I'm sorry.
Apologize, doc.
He just did.
He just said it.
sorry.
And that was genuine.
I know.
I know, I didn't mean it bad.
I didn't mean it bad.
You know, theydon't say womankind.
Mankind is everybody.
They just say womankind.
Who says womankind.
No one says womankind.
They do! No! Inthe united states,
(49:32):
what do you mean?
They do What do They say now?
It's not inclusive now Sheher it Is you can't we go.
Here we no, no.
Mankind is supposedto be inclusive.
It's just inclusive terminology.
It is.
It is.
(49:55):
They.
Them.
you can't say mailmanIt's mail person I'm a child.
I'm a I mean, I said lettercarrier because I know them, but
is it?
That's not What?
(50:17):
What?
Letter carrier?
That, All that stuff.
Yeah.
Like, police.
It's not policeman.
It's police officer.
It's not a fireman.
It's a firefighter.
Check this out.
We couldn't even callit a cockpit anymore.
In the military, I was Navy,worked on F 14 Tomcats,
and it had a cockpit.
(50:37):
But after a certain point,you couldn't call it that.
You had to call itthe flight station.
Right.
Right.
Okay, cockpit iswomen because women
started flying airplanesin the military.
Yeah, I mean, but some ofthese terminologies, I get you
have to make things change,but people don't say that to
be derogatory, to be mean.
I mean, it'sIt was just, a man's world It
was just a man's world and themen made man terminology and
(50:59):
now the terminology is changing.
It's cool Yeah, but it's not,but it's not, but it's
not a negative thing.
Yeah, but some peoplefeel like it is so you
have to be inclusiveJust have to yeah, we said
it earlier do unto othersas you have them doing to
you That's part of that'spart of being nice doc.
You said be niceI am being nice.
(51:20):
Oh, I know, but sometimesit's not meant to be mean.
When,Yeah, but it's but we live in
a sensitive world and if andif that's a sensitive subject
for her or anybody else We livein a world now where we try
to have to look at either yourespect it or you don't but
not Respecting it.
I'm just saying not youI'm just saying in general
with these with the way howdialogue is having to change
(51:44):
Either you respect it, orthere's consequences for
not expecting to respect it.
you know what?
I get what the point you'remaking, but sometimes it
gets a little bit too much.
Because now you have peoplewalking around telling people
there's 10 different genders.
It doesn't, It justdoesn't make sense.
on that note, Jesus.
I ain't going thereon this podcast, son.
(52:04):
Yeah.
I know, I get it, but peopledon't do it at a, people
don't do stuff intentionally.
It just doesn't, you know,know, people do stuff
intentionally, but I think,just, you know, It's just,
it's just a thing, bro.
Like you don't, when me, you andLee are hanging out or me, let's
say all us four are hanging outand we at the bar, we're not
going to act the same way atthe bar and paddling around and
(52:27):
wilding out than we do at work.
Right.
I'll be honest with you,I don't act like that
way in the bar anymore.
If I do But which way?
No, I'm just sayingwe loosen up.
We let our hair down.
I'm not saying, I'm notsaying we standing on the
bar doing coyote ugly.
I'm just saying we let our hairdown and the corporate kind.
I feel safe.
(52:48):
With you guys that I can let myhair down and be my true self.
That's all I'm saying.
It's kind of funny becausewhen I'm at my corporate
functions, I don't drink.
You can.
drink at corporate alcohol.
I mean, the corporate functions.
(53:09):
I mean, it's, but again,again, I don't think anything's
wrong with him not drinkingat a corporate function,
if that's a boundary he'sestablished for himself.
And Doc is not the kind of dudewho gets pissy drunk anyway.
Yeah.
But the thing is though, Imean, usually I, I got when
I, when I let loose andI gotta be around people.
I'm comfortable andpeople who I know Right.
(53:29):
That's right.
Right.
So, so that's the thing.
You know, there are thingsthat I'm not, I'm not going to
cross the line with you three,Yeah.
because I respectyour boundaries.
And if you tell me, Melissa,you don't like being lumped
into mankind, I'm going torespect that because I love you.
and I'll neversay mankind again, Preach.
(53:50):
No, that's not, I don't thinkyou can never, you don't
have to say never again.
It's a, it's a boundary.
It's a boundary for her.
I know, but I'venever heard womankind.
I honestly never heardthat in literature.
Ask ChatGPT.
Yes.
I have it open right now.
You know what the funny thingis, I've been using chat GPTA
lot lately now, which is crazy.
(54:11):
You should try the other one.
Microsoft Pilot isChatGPT on steroids.
Is it that good?
It's really good.
Yeah.
That's good.
It's good.
It's different in how itpresents the information.
I personally use both, and Ipaid the subscription for both.
Yeah, I use both, but there'sanother one too called Claude
(54:32):
You know what?
I've used that.
I've used that.
I like that.
I like that one.
But, but, uh, but you,I think, I think they
charged you for that.
Claude is free.
Okay.
All right, the term womankindhas traditionally been used
collectively to refer to allwomen paralleling the use
of mankind for all humanity.
(54:52):
Doom, doom, But mankind is forall humanity?
Did you hear that?
So the one, the word, itseems like the word womankind
was, let me see, however,But, for all humanity in 1922.
Doom.
Man, No.
Mankind meantmeans all humanity.
That's what they meaning by.
(55:13):
nope.
womankind is still understoodand occasionally used,
particularly in literary,poetic, A rhetorical context
to evoke a sense of universalout universality among women.
So it was created to create.
So if, if, if humankind felt itwas important enough to create
(55:34):
it, the term womankind, thenwe should respect people who
wants to be called womankind.
you know what?
And I get that, but when Iuse mankind, I mean, as an
inclusive term for all people,I get it.
We get that.
That's all.
That's it.
what.
You heard me.
No, I didn't.
I seriously didn't.
(55:55):
Okay.
All I meant it.
We get it, brother.
Okay.
eighth time, Okay.
Just making sure.
Don't want to miss it.
And Larry, stop laughing.
laughing Larry That's at Larry.
That's laughing Larry.
(56:15):
right, this has beena great conversation
why because what Lee Larry.
What, because we topic?
All right, we had no damn topicIf you'd have got that
question wrong, bro, I'dhave been mad at you.
I was sitting here lookingat you like he better
get that answer right.
(56:37):
Oh.
As always, guys, this was agreat conversation and we are
thankful to our listeners.
And as always, I seeyou because I am you.
Make sure to follow us onYouTube, Girl Talk Podcast,
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