What to Say and NOT Say to Someone Grieving a Suicide

What can you say to someone who has lost a loved one by suicide?

Whaf shouldn't you say?

This episode of Giving Voice to Depression continues the conversation with Deb Sherwood, a journalist and suicide loss survivor. This powerful and candid discussion focuses on the impact of words and actions—both hurtful and helpful—on someone grieving a death by suicide.

Deb shares some of the shockingly insensitive and painful comments she received from everyone, including long-time friends and even medical and mental health professionals. These comments added to her trauma and led her to end decades-long friendships. The hosts and Deb emphasize that stigma around suicide is often the root cause of these thoughtless remarks and that people's curiosity or discomfort can lead to profound hurt.

The conversation then pivots to more constructive advice. Deb offers practical suggestions for what to say and do to truly support someone who is grieving. Instead of a vague "call me if you need anything," she suggests offering concrete help, like bringing dinner on a specific day. She also highlights the immense value of sharing positive memories of the deceased and the healing power of suicide support groups, where no one's grief is judged. Ultimately, the episode is a moving plea for empathy and a reminder that simple, kind words can make all the difference.

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