June 3, 2024 • 29 mins
Have you ever felt sidetracked by well-meaning people, even when you're trying to stay true to the calling God has for your life? Join me, Stephanie, on this powerful episode of the "Giving Your Best Life" podcast as we wrap up our distraction series by focusing on the often-overlooked topic of people who divert us from our path. I'll share personal stories about my own struggles with staying on track.
Together, we'll explore the challenges of prioritizing God's calling over the demands and expectations of others, using insights from Matthew 6:24 and Galatians 5:16. Learn how to strengthen your prayer life and seek daily guidance to remain steadfast against distractions, no matter how well-intentioned they may be.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with episode
number 111 of Giving your BestLife podcast, and today I'm
diving back in and I'm wrappingup my distraction series and
this episode is going to focuson people who distract us.
This is a huge topic.
(00:22):
I think it's why I've probablyput it off this is a huge topic.
I think it's why I've probablyput it off Because, if you go
back, part one of thedistraction series was episode
102.
Part two was episode 105.
And here I am, six episodeslater, at 111, doing people who
(00:47):
distract us, and I think why Iwas avoiding this is because
there's so many ways that Icould take this.
I'm sure some things I'm goingto say could people could take
offense.
So just know that that is notmy intention with some of the
things that I talk about.
It's just I've been prayingthrough this, I've been taking
notes, um, and I've been givingit a lot of thought and time as
(01:08):
it relates to this topic.
Know that it is not related toevery scenario, but, um, yeah,
and I just even want to saytoday, when I set to record this
is I got distracted.
Um, I clicked on Facebook, Iwatched a video on Charles
Barkley, an interview with himand I was just like, oh my gosh,
(01:31):
you are distracted, which iswhy this weekend I had deleted
Facebook off my phone, but I putit back on this morning because
I went into the Giving yourBest Life group.
If you're not in our group onFacebook, join us.
I try to post positive stuff asoften as I can, and so that's
why I had reloaded it on myphone and then it got the best
(01:52):
of me this morning.
So, anyways, distractions areeverywhere, my friend, but let's
jump into this topic today, andit is people who distract us.
So I want to start out with acouple of Bible verses, and as I
was researching Bible verses ondistraction, these two came up,
(02:13):
and they're not specific topeople, but as I was reading
them, I just had some thoughtsthat popped in my head, and so
I'll kind of explain of what Iwas thinking and why I'm going
to use these two as it relatesto distractions with people
today.
The first one is Matthew 6, 24.
(02:35):
And it says no one can servetwo masters, for either he will
hate the one and love the other,for either he will hate the one
and love the other, or he willbe devoted to one and despise
the other.
You cannot serve God and money.
Now, that passage is related tomoney, but I think also a lot
(02:59):
of times is when we think aboutthings of this world or of the
Spirit and of God and makingdecisions based off of what God
and serving God and what he'scalling us to do and our calling
(03:21):
is.
Our calling is we can try toserve people, we can try to
serve family members, we can tryto serve people at our jobs, we
can try to serve friends, wecan try to serve people at the
church, and sometimes we'reputting those people that are in
(03:48):
our lives and a lot of theseare good people, a lot of these
(04:14):
are good people that are in ourlives making our decisions and
we are following maybe what theyare wanting us to do versus
what God is calling us to do.
And so it's why, every day, weshould seek him first and going
okay, what do you have for metoday?
How am I supposed to serve youtoday?
Who am I supposed to serve?
How am I supposed to serve?
Because I think a lot of times,people can come in and be a
(04:36):
distraction of what God iscalling us to do and maybe what
he has told us to do.
You know, I was in prayer timetwo hours ago and, you know,
from that time to here,distractions can come up, and so
and I'm going to talk a littlebit and kind of walk through of
(04:59):
how I do this and I am notperfect at this and I have made
a lot of mistakes, which is, Ifeel like you know maybe why I'm
.
I'm talking about this becauseI've had some lessons learned
and, um, just some recognition,and if I could go back, there's
a lot of scenarios that I woulddo different things.
I would do different, um,because I allowed people to
(05:24):
distract me, and sometimes, whenpeople distract us, it's the
easier thing to do.
Often, what God is calling usto do is not easy.
It's not always what the worldthinks is the best.
It often might even seem crazyor counter to what somebody
(05:47):
thinks we should do, or what theworld thinks that we should do,
and so sometimes we come upagainst and I've talked about
this in the past is like this,resistance, and it might even be
resistance that we're gettingfrom people, which can be a
distraction, and so I'll talkabout is.
This is why you have to be inprayer.
(06:09):
You have to really know and getclear on what is the vision
that God has for your life,because you'll have to be able
to stand on that to be able tosay nope, thank you, but no,
(06:32):
nope, thank you but no.
The other verse that I have isin Galatians 5, 16.
And it says but I say, live bythe spirit and you will not
carry out the desires of theflesh, for the flesh has desires
that are opposed to the spirit,and the spirit has desires that
are opposed of the flesh areobvious.
And then it goes out to list abunch of things, and then it
(07:04):
talks about the fruits of thespirit obvious.
And then it goes out to list abunch of things, and then it
talks about the fruits of thespirit, which starts in 2022.
I encourage you to read that,actually that whole chapter,
freedom of the believer, becauseI love this.
What it says in actually versefive, one it says for freedom,
Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do notsubject again to the yoke of
(07:26):
slavery, and I really thinksometimes is we can be a slave
to what other people want in ourlife.
Instead of separating ourselvesfrom the world and going nope,
I am going to do what God hascalled me to do.
It's why we have to pray andseek God's guidance, like I said
(07:48):
as it tells us in verse 16, islive by the Spirit.
Let the Spirit guide you inwhere you are supposed to go
instead of letting people guideyou.
A lot of times these will be inopposition and I said it in the
beginning.
It doesn't necessarily meanwhat people are asking you to do
(08:11):
or ideas that people give.
They might not be bad things,they might be good things.
They just might not be goodthings for you, just might not
be good things for you.
And so I had written this inthe wall in my prayer closet is
(08:32):
the flesh seeks distraction.
Entertainment, busy, mindbusyness.
But that is not.
I would say.
The distraction is often fromthe devil, not all the time, but
often because our flesh seeksthat out.
It's why I, before I sat downto do this, I clicked on
(08:53):
Facebook, because I just did not.
It takes work to do this andit's like this is what God is
calling me to do to put out thisepisode, to record this message
.
But it's like there's thatlittle distraction of Facebook
because that's easier, that'smind numbing.
So, anyways, the flesh seeksdistraction.
(09:14):
Remember that when you're beingdistracted, it's like what am I
being distracted from?
What is God calling me to do?
Why is this important?
I also think and I'm not goingto dive into these I feel like
I've gotten a really clear onelane I want to go down as it
(09:34):
relates to this distraction, asit relates to our calling,
because I feel like it's whatI've experienced the most and
actually I see consistently withthe clients that I coach.
But distraction with people canalso be a division of Christ
followers.
So Christ followers we see thison social media all the time as
(09:57):
it relates to politics or bigissues in our country that you
will see Christ followers beingpitted against each other.
This is a distraction.
These are things of this worldand we don't fight those.
We fight not things of thisworld or of the flesh, but
(10:18):
really in the spiritual world.
Those are the battles that weshould be fighting.
I was even thinking aboutsometimes going out with friends
.
That can be a distraction.
(10:39):
I had a period in my life whereI just said yes to everybody and
everything and I would be gonealmost every night.
This was a season when myhusband was working evenings and
I didn't want to be home bymyself, and so I would just go
out to dinner all the time.
I was always meeting people.
I was always just doing things,but what I found is a lot of
times is I was wasting the timethat God had given me, and I did
(11:01):
have that kind of awakeningmoment where it was like, oh my
gosh, instead of looking at thisas, oh, it was terrible that my
husband was gone every night.
I hated it.
Um, woe is me.
I was really bad time in mylife for a portion, when he was
working that second shift, um,but then I had this shift of.
(11:21):
It was such a gift.
It was such a gift to have thattime, um, where I could focus
on the things that God wascalling me to do, and a lot of
that season was um, writing andum.
I was very, very busy withspeaking opportunities, and so I
was able to not havedistractions.
(11:43):
Not that my husband is adistraction, even though he can
be sometimes.
I say that with a chuckle,because a lot of times when he
is home, I want to be hangingout with him.
I want to just be maybe sittingdown watching TV, which
sometimes that's not a bad thing, but I do have to be
disciplined sometimes to be like, okay, you know, go work on
(12:05):
that project or go do writing,you know, go work on the
upcoming speaking engagement, soon and so forth.
So it's always a balance.
But so, going out with friends,be really discerning about how
you are spending your time andwho you are spending your time
(12:25):
with.
So that's all I'll say.
With that, I also think, ispeople can be a distraction and
cause drama in your life.
You know, I know people who I'mjust like.
They are always around dramaand they are putting themselves
in drama instead of making harddecisions, of getting themselves
(12:47):
out of the situation.
Or sometimes they are the dramaand they are causing the
distraction around everybodythat they are encountering.
So it might be.
A good question is to thinkabout am I the person that
causes drama or am I alwayssurrounded or involved in drama?
(13:10):
And we can see distractions onsocial media.
Within the church, gossip canbe a distraction.
Judgment can be a distractionof other people and at the end
of the day, I always think abouthow do I love these people, how
do I support people?
You can ask the question isthis a distraction?
(13:32):
Is this living out?
Are my words, are I speaking?
Who am I with, if this isthings of the flesh or things of
people that God is calling meto be around to support, to pray
for?
That's one thing a lot of timesis, maybe I don't want to hang
out with somebody or go dosomething, participate, because
(13:52):
I'm like that's a distraction inmy life, even though some
things seem fun, they seem great.
But I'm like can I pray?
Are there other ways I cansupport?
Are there other ways I cansupport?
(14:25):
What I really want to my prayercloset is how do we hear from
God?
Because maybe you're thinkingwell, stephanie, I don't even
know what God's calling me to doand how we hear from God.
Is one talk to him, be inprayer, sit in silence?
But what I wrote down is wemust strip away what we don't
(14:51):
need, and sometimes that can bestripping away people in our
lives that are squawking in ourear all the time and we are no
longer able to hear.
What God is calling us to do isbecause we are letting a person
(15:11):
or certain people in our livesbe a distraction.
I recently probably over thelast six months maybe I noticed
this theme with some coachingclients that I have.
Now, all these clients havesmall businesses but, as I was
thinking about this todaybecause I know you as the
(15:33):
listener, you might not have asmall business, but we can take
this scenario and it applies to,like I said, a goal that you're
working on, the calling thatyou're walking on, the calling
that you're walking out in God,that God has for you.
It could be a parentingsituation, it could be at work,
(15:54):
it might even be volunteering,it might be something you're
doing in the church or thinkingin the church, it might be in
your marriage.
So take this scenario that I'mabout ready to give you and
apply it to with whatever youhave going on or your situation
in life.
I want to preface to say that,before I jump into this and what
(16:18):
I found in all three of thesescenarios and even my own life
is the majority of people arevery well intentioned when they
kind of step in to thesesituations is they are well
intentioned.
There isn't this ill will, this,you know, wanting bad for you,
(16:41):
wanting to distract you.
That is not the majority ofpeople's intention of what
they're doing or why they aredoing it.
What I found is, a lot of timesis one, and I can even do.
This is so a lot of times I'llask somebody do you want my
(17:02):
advice?
Or if somebody comes to me,like I just had this happen
today, a lady that I hadn'ttalked to in a long while
messaged me on Facebook and shewants my advice, specifically on
a situation that she's in, andso I think, trying to get good
about and again, this issomething I struggle with.
(17:24):
So I'm preaching to myself asmuch as I'm like having this
conversation with you is like,hey, do you want some advice on
that?
Or hey, I have an idea.
Can I share it with you?
Because sometimes I don't wanna.
This is terrible, but it's likemy calling is so clear of what
God is having me to do that Idon't want to hear what other
(17:46):
people have to say unless theyhave been in prayer and they
feel like what they are tellingme God is asking.
God has laid that on theirheart to tell me to reach out to
me.
A lot of times people just saylike what pops into their head,
and then they're off and runningand that kind of goes back to
(18:09):
what I was talking about.
Like you know serving God, orserving money, or you know
serving people of it, that'sjust of their flesh, that is not
coming from God.
So, remember, people are mainlywell-intentioned.
Remember people are mainlywell-intentioned is, first of
all, if you have not done this,is you have to get clear on what
(18:35):
God has for you, for your life,your calling, or you have to
have, as I speak about this, aspecific goal that you are
working on.
If you are not, you are workingon.
If you are not, it is so hard tofigure out how you are supposed
to be spending your time.
Who are you supposed to beinvesting in working with,
listening to?
You'll just kind of gothroughout your life with no
(18:57):
direction, no guidance.
The Bible tells us to ask, toseek.
This is where you have to be inprayer.
If you are not in prayer anddon't have a prayer life, that
is where I would say is start.
Let that become a habit, alifestyle, and I don't want to
(19:21):
just say this habit of justhaving this routine.
Okay, I pray every morning,because it's really not this
habit in routine, but it is thatrelationship and that's where
it has to start.
If you're like Stephanie, thisdoesn't even apply because I
don't even know what I'msupposed to be doing.
But if I look at all three ofthese clients, they're pretty
(19:43):
clear on what God has calledthem to do, what they're working
on.
But all three of them havestarted to work on something and
somebody has stepped in with anidea.
Somebody has stepped in withpartnering with them on
something.
I had a client where sheactually went all the way
(20:07):
through with partnering and itjust wasn't the best experience.
It didn't live up to herexpectations and we got to do a
debrief.
So know that a lot of times, alot of times, there are lessons
that we can learn.
Sometimes things can look likea nice, shiny object and so we
(20:28):
commit to doing those thingsbecause it looks nice, it sounds
great.
We start to make things maybeabout us and what we can get out
of it, when it's not actuallywhat God was calling us to do or
how we were supposed to spendour time.
The other thing I will say is,if you are very clear and you
(20:50):
know what God is calling you todo is I have learned over time
is to hold those things very,very close to you Be careful who
you tell and what you share.
Now, sometimes, a lot of times,I will share the bigger vision.
(21:12):
But when it comes down to thedetails and specific things that
I am working on, I will be verycareful of who I tell.
More often than not, I havefound if I share something
specific or some of the details,I will start getting unwanted
(21:33):
feedback, which unwantedfeedback causes doubt a lot of
times Like was am I reallysupposed to be doing this or am
I doing this the right way?
And we start to question whatwe are doing.
I always say doubt is adistraction and it is from the
(21:53):
devil, and if you're clear andif you know what God is calling
you to do, you will not havethat doubt.
Also, what I have learned isthey do not have the vision that
you have, that God has givenyou.
So a lot of times, going backto well, intention is their
(22:14):
ideas and their inputs can begood they're not bad.
It's like that's a great ideabut they don't have the vision
that God has given you.
And if they don't have thevision that God has given you,
(22:35):
then a lot of times what theyare telling you or what they're
asking you to do, or the advicethat they are giving you or
whatever, fill in the blank.
It is not going to align,because they are aligned to the
flesh and the things of theworld and not of the spirit,
(22:55):
which is why I read that versein Galatians.
Finally, a lot of times whensomebody comes in and I think
about these three scenarios, ittakes a step of faith.
(23:19):
It takes faith in going.
I don't want to hurt somebody'sfeelings especially as women,
we hate to tell people no, wehate to conflict but it takes
faith in going.
I know what God has called meto do and I am going to stick on
that path and I have faith thatwherever he is leading me is
(23:43):
the right way.
Now, sometimes, especiallydepending on the person, who it
is and what they are telling meis, I will take that back and I
will take it to prayer and Iwill ask God you know, is this
(24:04):
something that I am supposed todo, or am I supposed to turn off
the path?
Am I supposed to make time andspace advice, what you're
supposed to do?
Or they want to kind of jump in, get on board with what you're
(24:30):
doing.
I've seen people want to dothat.
You know they don't want to doall the hard work or they
haven't done what you've doneand so somebody wants to attach
themselves to you so they cankind of get on board to what
you're doing, is one thank themfirst.
Thank them for sharing what'sbeen on their heart, the idea,
(24:53):
whatever.
Fill in the blank.
We can always thank people,show gratitude, but don't commit
to anything, don't have aresponse beyond gratitude.
Next is pray about it.
Pray about if that is thedirection you're supposed to go,
the person you're supposed topartner with, the advice that
(25:15):
you are supposed to take, theopportunity that you are
supposed to step into, whateverit is.
Fill in the blank.
Then make a decision.
Make a decision and, whether itis especially if it's something
that somebody has approachedyou about doing with them or
with a company or whatever fillin the blank is, make sure you
(25:37):
follow up and you communicateyour decision.
And then again we're going tosandwich this with gratitude.
You know if a lot of time I sayno to a lot of people and a lot
of things, I have a lot ofpeople that want my advice on
writing a book, publishing abook, so much so that the
(25:59):
majority of the time I tellpeople you know, like, here's my
consultation fee.
You know, thank you forfollowing up with me and I learn
a lot of times people aren'tthat serious.
They just they want to use upmy time, you know.
But I can thank them and I canthank the person that maybe made
the connection, but I don'tnecessarily have to engage with
(26:22):
that person because it might bea distraction of my time.
The other thing too and I wantto I probably should have said
this a little bit earlier iswhen I talked about, like,
holding information close to you, being careful about who you
tell is I say this and I stillmake this mistake sometimes, and
(26:44):
when I do it it's like, oh, Iwish I wouldn't have shared that
, because then when I startgetting advice from people, I'm
like, oh, this is a distraction,I don't need to hear this,
they're well-intended is, if youdo decide to share is make sure
what you are doing is well inflight, that someone cannot get
(27:10):
you off course.
It is so far down the path thatnothing is going to distract you
or veer you off the course thatyou are on.
And I always say is I have alot in flight People probably
know about I don't know five or10% of what I work on, and then
(27:33):
I'm kind of on when people needto know or when I want to share
it with somebody, then I willput it out there, but it's going
to be so far along that I knowI'm not going to be distracted.
So, friends, I hope that thisis a little bit longer episode
than what I'm used to doing, butI feel like it's so important
(27:56):
and it's something we don't talkabout because I think it's like
I don't know.
We've got friends and we gotfamily and people are well
intentioned, but traveling thisroad of the calling that God has
for our life is a very oftenhard road, often a lonely road,
(28:20):
but I think sometimes it'slonely and I've talked to this.
I have one client that we'vetalked about.
This quite a bit is it's kindof lonely because a lot of times
people can just be adistraction.
They don't get what you'redoing or why you're doing
something, and you can get offcourse very, very easily.
I have a client we talk about alot of the negativity that can
(28:43):
start to come in from people,and they're not meaning to be
negative, it's just they don'thave the vision that God has
given you.
So, friends, thank you for yourtime.
If you could leave me a reviewon the podcast, share this with
a friend, engage with me, sendme an email.
(29:04):
What are you working on?
Send me an email or a messageabout a topic you would love to
have me discuss and, hopefully,friends.
This topic of people whodistract you and how you can
navigate this, and maybe some ofthe lessons or tips that I've
given you, is just another waythat you can get to giving your
(29:26):
best.
Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with episode
number 111 of Giving your BestLife podcast, and today I'm
diving back in and I'm wrappingup my distraction series and
this episode is going to focuson people who distract us.
This is a huge topic.
(00:22):
I think it's why I've probablyput it off this is a huge topic.
I think it's why I've probablyput it off Because, if you go
back, part one of thedistraction series was episode
102.
Part two was episode 105.
And here I am, six episodeslater, at 111, doing people who
(00:47):
distract us, and I think why Iwas avoiding this is because
there's so many ways that Icould take this.
I'm sure some things I'm goingto say could people could take
offense.
So just know that that is notmy intention with some of the
things that I talk about.
It's just I've been prayingthrough this, I've been taking
notes, um, and I've been givingit a lot of thought and time as
(01:08):
it relates to this topic.
Know that it is not related toevery scenario, but, um, yeah,
and I just even want to saytoday, when I set to record this
is I got distracted.
Um, I clicked on Facebook, Iwatched a video on Charles
Barkley, an interview with himand I was just like, oh my gosh,
(01:31):
you are distracted, which iswhy this weekend I had deleted
Facebook off my phone, but I putit back on this morning because
I went into the Giving yourBest Life group.
If you're not in our group onFacebook, join us.
I try to post positive stuff asoften as I can, and so that's
why I had reloaded it on myphone and then it got the best
(01:52):
of me this morning.
So, anyways, distractions areeverywhere, my friend, but let's
jump into this topic today, andit is people who distract us.
So I want to start out with acouple of Bible verses, and as I
was researching Bible verses ondistraction, these two came up,
(02:13):
and they're not specific topeople, but as I was reading
them, I just had some thoughtsthat popped in my head, and so
I'll kind of explain of what Iwas thinking and why I'm going
to use these two as it relatesto distractions with people
today.
The first one is Matthew 6, 24.
(02:35):
And it says no one can servetwo masters, for either he will
hate the one and love the other,for either he will hate the one
and love the other, or he willbe devoted to one and despise
the other.
You cannot serve God and money.
Now, that passage is related tomoney, but I think also a lot
(02:59):
of times is when we think aboutthings of this world or of the
Spirit and of God and makingdecisions based off of what God
and serving God and what he'scalling us to do and our calling
(03:21):
is.
Our calling is we can try toserve people, we can try to
serve family members, we can tryto serve people at our jobs, we
can try to serve friends, wecan try to serve people at the
church, and sometimes we'reputting those people that are in
(03:48):
our lives and a lot of theseare good people, a lot of these
(04:14):
are good people that are in ourlives making our decisions and
we are following maybe what theyare wanting us to do versus
what God is calling us to do.
And so it's why, every day, weshould seek him first and going
okay, what do you have for metoday?
How am I supposed to serve youtoday?
Who am I supposed to serve?
How am I supposed to serve?
Because I think a lot of times,people can come in and be a
(04:36):
distraction of what God iscalling us to do and maybe what
he has told us to do.
You know, I was in prayer timetwo hours ago and, you know,
from that time to here,distractions can come up, and so
and I'm going to talk a littlebit and kind of walk through of
(04:59):
how I do this and I am notperfect at this and I have made
a lot of mistakes, which is, Ifeel like you know maybe why I'm
.
I'm talking about this becauseI've had some lessons learned
and, um, just some recognition,and if I could go back, there's
a lot of scenarios that I woulddo different things.
I would do different, um,because I allowed people to
(05:24):
distract me, and sometimes, whenpeople distract us, it's the
easier thing to do.
Often, what God is calling usto do is not easy.
It's not always what the worldthinks is the best.
It often might even seem crazyor counter to what somebody
(05:47):
thinks we should do, or what theworld thinks that we should do,
and so sometimes we come upagainst and I've talked about
this in the past is like this,resistance, and it might even be
resistance that we're gettingfrom people, which can be a
distraction, and so I'll talkabout is.
This is why you have to be inprayer.
(06:09):
You have to really know and getclear on what is the vision
that God has for your life,because you'll have to be able
to stand on that to be able tosay nope, thank you, but no,
(06:32):
nope, thank you but no.
The other verse that I have isin Galatians 5, 16.
And it says but I say, live bythe spirit and you will not
carry out the desires of theflesh, for the flesh has desires
that are opposed to the spirit,and the spirit has desires that
are opposed of the flesh areobvious.
And then it goes out to list abunch of things, and then it
(07:04):
talks about the fruits of thespirit obvious.
And then it goes out to list abunch of things, and then it
talks about the fruits of thespirit, which starts in 2022.
I encourage you to read that,actually that whole chapter,
freedom of the believer, becauseI love this.
What it says in actually versefive, one it says for freedom,
Christ has set us free.
Stand firm, then, and do notsubject again to the yoke of
(07:26):
slavery, and I really thinksometimes is we can be a slave
to what other people want in ourlife.
Instead of separating ourselvesfrom the world and going nope,
I am going to do what God hascalled me to do.
It's why we have to pray andseek God's guidance, like I said
(07:48):
as it tells us in verse 16, islive by the Spirit.
Let the Spirit guide you inwhere you are supposed to go
instead of letting people guideyou.
A lot of times these will be inopposition and I said it in the
beginning.
It doesn't necessarily meanwhat people are asking you to do
(08:11):
or ideas that people give.
They might not be bad things,they might be good things.
They just might not be goodthings for you, just might not
be good things for you.
And so I had written this inthe wall in my prayer closet is
(08:32):
the flesh seeks distraction.
Entertainment, busy, mindbusyness.
But that is not.
I would say.
The distraction is often fromthe devil, not all the time, but
often because our flesh seeksthat out.
It's why I, before I sat downto do this, I clicked on
(08:53):
Facebook, because I just did not.
It takes work to do this andit's like this is what God is
calling me to do to put out thisepisode, to record this message
.
But it's like there's thatlittle distraction of Facebook
because that's easier, that'smind numbing.
So, anyways, the flesh seeksdistraction.
(09:14):
Remember that when you're beingdistracted, it's like what am I
being distracted from?
What is God calling me to do?
Why is this important?
I also think and I'm not goingto dive into these I feel like
I've gotten a really clear onelane I want to go down as it
(09:34):
relates to this distraction, asit relates to our calling,
because I feel like it's whatI've experienced the most and
actually I see consistently withthe clients that I coach.
But distraction with people canalso be a division of Christ
followers.
So Christ followers we see thison social media all the time as
(09:57):
it relates to politics or bigissues in our country that you
will see Christ followers beingpitted against each other.
This is a distraction.
These are things of this worldand we don't fight those.
We fight not things of thisworld or of the flesh, but
(10:18):
really in the spiritual world.
Those are the battles that weshould be fighting.
I was even thinking aboutsometimes going out with friends
.
That can be a distraction.
(10:39):
I had a period in my life whereI just said yes to everybody and
everything and I would be gonealmost every night.
This was a season when myhusband was working evenings and
I didn't want to be home bymyself, and so I would just go
out to dinner all the time.
I was always meeting people.
I was always just doing things,but what I found is a lot of
times is I was wasting the timethat God had given me, and I did
(11:01):
have that kind of awakeningmoment where it was like, oh my
gosh, instead of looking at thisas, oh, it was terrible that my
husband was gone every night.
I hated it.
Um, woe is me.
I was really bad time in mylife for a portion, when he was
working that second shift, um,but then I had this shift of.
(11:21):
It was such a gift.
It was such a gift to have thattime, um, where I could focus
on the things that God wascalling me to do, and a lot of
that season was um, writing andum.
I was very, very busy withspeaking opportunities, and so I
was able to not havedistractions.
(11:43):
Not that my husband is adistraction, even though he can
be sometimes.
I say that with a chuckle,because a lot of times when he
is home, I want to be hangingout with him.
I want to just be maybe sittingdown watching TV, which
sometimes that's not a bad thing, but I do have to be
disciplined sometimes to be like, okay, you know, go work on
(12:05):
that project or go do writing,you know, go work on the
upcoming speaking engagement, soon and so forth.
So it's always a balance.
But so, going out with friends,be really discerning about how
you are spending your time andwho you are spending your time
(12:25):
with.
So that's all I'll say.
With that, I also think, ispeople can be a distraction and
cause drama in your life.
You know, I know people who I'mjust like.
They are always around dramaand they are putting themselves
in drama instead of making harddecisions, of getting themselves
(12:47):
out of the situation.
Or sometimes they are the dramaand they are causing the
distraction around everybodythat they are encountering.
So it might be.
A good question is to thinkabout am I the person that
causes drama or am I alwayssurrounded or involved in drama?
(13:10):
And we can see distractions onsocial media.
Within the church, gossip canbe a distraction.
Judgment can be a distractionof other people and at the end
of the day, I always think abouthow do I love these people, how
do I support people?
You can ask the question isthis a distraction?
(13:32):
Is this living out?
Are my words, are I speaking?
Who am I with, if this isthings of the flesh or things of
people that God is calling meto be around to support, to pray
for?
That's one thing a lot of timesis, maybe I don't want to hang
out with somebody or go dosomething, participate, because
(13:52):
I'm like that's a distraction inmy life, even though some
things seem fun, they seem great.
But I'm like can I pray?
Are there other ways I cansupport?
Are there other ways I cansupport?
(14:25):
What I really want to my prayercloset is how do we hear from
God?
Because maybe you're thinkingwell, stephanie, I don't even
know what God's calling me to doand how we hear from God.
Is one talk to him, be inprayer, sit in silence?
But what I wrote down is wemust strip away what we don't
(14:51):
need, and sometimes that can bestripping away people in our
lives that are squawking in ourear all the time and we are no
longer able to hear.
What God is calling us to do isbecause we are letting a person
(15:11):
or certain people in our livesbe a distraction.
I recently probably over thelast six months maybe I noticed
this theme with some coachingclients that I have.
Now, all these clients havesmall businesses but, as I was
thinking about this todaybecause I know you as the
(15:33):
listener, you might not have asmall business, but we can take
this scenario and it applies to,like I said, a goal that you're
working on, the calling thatyou're walking on, the calling
that you're walking out in God,that God has for you.
It could be a parentingsituation, it could be at work,
(15:54):
it might even be volunteering,it might be something you're
doing in the church or thinkingin the church, it might be in
your marriage.
So take this scenario that I'mabout ready to give you and
apply it to with whatever youhave going on or your situation
in life.
I want to preface to say that,before I jump into this and what
(16:18):
I found in all three of thesescenarios and even my own life
is the majority of people arevery well intentioned when they
kind of step in to thesesituations is they are well
intentioned.
There isn't this ill will, this,you know, wanting bad for you,
(16:41):
wanting to distract you.
That is not the majority ofpeople's intention of what
they're doing or why they aredoing it.
What I found is, a lot of timesis one, and I can even do.
This is so a lot of times I'llask somebody do you want my
(17:02):
advice?
Or if somebody comes to me,like I just had this happen
today, a lady that I hadn'ttalked to in a long while
messaged me on Facebook and shewants my advice, specifically on
a situation that she's in, andso I think, trying to get good
about and again, this issomething I struggle with.
(17:24):
So I'm preaching to myself asmuch as I'm like having this
conversation with you is like,hey, do you want some advice on
that?
Or hey, I have an idea.
Can I share it with you?
Because sometimes I don't wanna.
This is terrible, but it's likemy calling is so clear of what
God is having me to do that Idon't want to hear what other
(17:46):
people have to say unless theyhave been in prayer and they
feel like what they are tellingme God is asking.
God has laid that on theirheart to tell me to reach out to
me.
A lot of times people just saylike what pops into their head,
and then they're off and runningand that kind of goes back to
(18:09):
what I was talking about.
Like you know serving God, orserving money, or you know
serving people of it, that'sjust of their flesh, that is not
coming from God.
So, remember, people are mainlywell-intentioned.
Remember people are mainlywell-intentioned is, first of
all, if you have not done this,is you have to get clear on what
(18:35):
God has for you, for your life,your calling, or you have to
have, as I speak about this, aspecific goal that you are
working on.
If you are not, you are workingon.
If you are not, it is so hard tofigure out how you are supposed
to be spending your time.
Who are you supposed to beinvesting in working with,
listening to?
You'll just kind of gothroughout your life with no
(18:57):
direction, no guidance.
The Bible tells us to ask, toseek.
This is where you have to be inprayer.
If you are not in prayer anddon't have a prayer life, that
is where I would say is start.
Let that become a habit, alifestyle, and I don't want to
(19:21):
just say this habit of justhaving this routine.
Okay, I pray every morning,because it's really not this
habit in routine, but it is thatrelationship and that's where
it has to start.
If you're like Stephanie, thisdoesn't even apply because I
don't even know what I'msupposed to be doing.
But if I look at all three ofthese clients, they're pretty
(19:43):
clear on what God has calledthem to do, what they're working
on.
But all three of them havestarted to work on something and
somebody has stepped in with anidea.
Somebody has stepped in withpartnering with them on
something.
I had a client where sheactually went all the way
(20:07):
through with partnering and itjust wasn't the best experience.
It didn't live up to herexpectations and we got to do a
debrief.
So know that a lot of times, alot of times, there are lessons
that we can learn.
Sometimes things can look likea nice, shiny object and so we
(20:28):
commit to doing those thingsbecause it looks nice, it sounds
great.
We start to make things maybeabout us and what we can get out
of it, when it's not actuallywhat God was calling us to do or
how we were supposed to spendour time.
The other thing I will say is,if you are very clear and you
(20:50):
know what God is calling you todo is I have learned over time
is to hold those things very,very close to you Be careful who
you tell and what you share.
Now, sometimes, a lot of times,I will share the bigger vision.
(21:12):
But when it comes down to thedetails and specific things that
I am working on, I will be verycareful of who I tell.
More often than not, I havefound if I share something
specific or some of the details,I will start getting unwanted
(21:33):
feedback, which unwantedfeedback causes doubt a lot of
times Like was am I reallysupposed to be doing this or am
I doing this the right way?
And we start to question whatwe are doing.
I always say doubt is adistraction and it is from the
(21:53):
devil, and if you're clear andif you know what God is calling
you to do, you will not havethat doubt.
Also, what I have learned isthey do not have the vision that
you have, that God has givenyou.
So a lot of times, going backto well, intention is their
(22:14):
ideas and their inputs can begood they're not bad.
It's like that's a great ideabut they don't have the vision
that God has given you.
And if they don't have thevision that God has given you,
(22:35):
then a lot of times what theyare telling you or what they're
asking you to do, or the advicethat they are giving you or
whatever, fill in the blank.
It is not going to align,because they are aligned to the
flesh and the things of theworld and not of the spirit,
(22:55):
which is why I read that versein Galatians.
Finally, a lot of times whensomebody comes in and I think
about these three scenarios, ittakes a step of faith.
(23:19):
It takes faith in going.
I don't want to hurt somebody'sfeelings especially as women,
we hate to tell people no, wehate to conflict but it takes
faith in going.
I know what God has called meto do and I am going to stick on
that path and I have faith thatwherever he is leading me is
(23:43):
the right way.
Now, sometimes, especiallydepending on the person, who it
is and what they are telling meis, I will take that back and I
will take it to prayer and Iwill ask God you know, is this
(24:04):
something that I am supposed todo, or am I supposed to turn off
the path?
Am I supposed to make time andspace advice, what you're
supposed to do?
Or they want to kind of jump in, get on board with what you're
(24:30):
doing.
I've seen people want to dothat.
You know they don't want to doall the hard work or they
haven't done what you've doneand so somebody wants to attach
themselves to you so they cankind of get on board to what
you're doing, is one thank themfirst.
Thank them for sharing what'sbeen on their heart, the idea,
(24:53):
whatever.
Fill in the blank.
We can always thank people,show gratitude, but don't commit
to anything, don't have aresponse beyond gratitude.
Next is pray about it.
Pray about if that is thedirection you're supposed to go,
the person you're supposed topartner with, the advice that
(25:15):
you are supposed to take, theopportunity that you are
supposed to step into, whateverit is.
Fill in the blank.
Then make a decision.
Make a decision and, whether itis especially if it's something
that somebody has approachedyou about doing with them or
with a company or whatever fillin the blank is, make sure you
(25:37):
follow up and you communicateyour decision.
And then again we're going tosandwich this with gratitude.
You know if a lot of time I sayno to a lot of people and a lot
of things, I have a lot ofpeople that want my advice on
writing a book, publishing abook, so much so that the
(25:59):
majority of the time I tellpeople you know, like, here's my
consultation fee.
You know, thank you forfollowing up with me and I learn
a lot of times people aren'tthat serious.
They just they want to use upmy time, you know.
But I can thank them and I canthank the person that maybe made
the connection, but I don'tnecessarily have to engage with
(26:22):
that person because it might bea distraction of my time.
The other thing too and I wantto I probably should have said
this a little bit earlier iswhen I talked about, like,
holding information close to you, being careful about who you
tell is I say this and I stillmake this mistake sometimes, and
(26:44):
when I do it it's like, oh, Iwish I wouldn't have shared that
, because then when I startgetting advice from people, I'm
like, oh, this is a distraction,I don't need to hear this,
they're well-intended is, if youdo decide to share is make sure
what you are doing is well inflight, that someone cannot get
(27:10):
you off course.
It is so far down the path thatnothing is going to distract you
or veer you off the course thatyou are on.
And I always say is I have alot in flight People probably
know about I don't know five or10% of what I work on, and then
(27:33):
I'm kind of on when people needto know or when I want to share
it with somebody, then I willput it out there, but it's going
to be so far along that I knowI'm not going to be distracted.
So, friends, I hope that thisis a little bit longer episode
than what I'm used to doing, butI feel like it's so important
(27:56):
and it's something we don't talkabout because I think it's like
I don't know.
We've got friends and we gotfamily and people are well
intentioned, but traveling thisroad of the calling that God has
for our life is a very oftenhard road, often a lonely road,
(28:20):
but I think sometimes it'slonely and I've talked to this.
I have one client that we'vetalked about.
This quite a bit is it's kindof lonely because a lot of times
people can just be adistraction.
They don't get what you'redoing or why you're doing
something, and you can get offcourse very, very easily.
I have a client we talk about alot of the negativity that can
(28:43):
start to come in from people,and they're not meaning to be
negative, it's just they don'thave the vision that God has
given you.
So, friends, thank you for yourtime.
If you could leave me a reviewon the podcast, share this with
a friend, engage with me, sendme an email.
(29:04):
What are you working on?
Send me an email or a messageabout a topic you would love to
have me discuss and, hopefully,friends.
This topic of people whodistract you and how you can
navigate this, and maybe some ofthe lessons or tips that I've
given you, is just another waythat you can get to giving your
(29:26):
best.
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