July 11, 2024 • 22 mins
Can you truly define success in a way that aligns with both your faith and business aspirations? Join us on the Giving Your Best Life Podcast as Stephanie and Zach Lloyd, Sustainable Anti-Diet Coach, share their personal journey of navigating these two worlds. Discover how they've struggled yet persevered in finding validation beyond worldly measures like income and social media engagement, all while trying to stay true to their Christian values. Zach has taken the bold step to completely ignore social media metrics, whereas Stephanie continues to see them as a way to serve others. Together, they discuss the ongoing challenge of determining what is truly "enough" in life.
Tune in for a thought-provoking conversation that will inspire you to align your personal and professional goals with your faith.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with Giving your
Best Life Podcast and also withmy friend.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Zach Lloyd, Sustainable Anti-Diet Coach.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
And today we're coming to you with a topic that
we actually have talked probablythe last several weeks that
we've been working together andI told Zach I feel like we just
needed to like bring it to thepodcast, because if we both
struggle with it, my guess isone of our listeners struggle
with it, my guess is one of ourlisten, yeah, listeners struggle
with it.
Um, and it is this idea of well, I think it's a couple of
(00:31):
things is defining success as achristian versus it through the
lens of, like, our businesses,our entrepreneurial work?
Um, really, through that lens,yeah, um, I would say so.
(00:55):
Do you have any like commentsto jump us off for thoughts?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
yeah, what we've been talking about I would say like
in the back of our minds, we allhave some idea of like what we
want in this world, but thatdoesn't necessarily spell out
what success should be, and it'sdefinitely probably not what
God's plan is Like.
We have a plan and then God hasa plan, and then usually like,
if you're lucky, you kind ofmeet in the middle, but
sometimes you don't meet at alland God just like pulls you down
(01:22):
the street a little bit.
So I feel like that's part ofit too.
And and God just like pulls youdown the street a little bit.
So I feel like that's part ofit too.
And where we were talking aboutin the productivity sense of
like business, it's like we knowif we do X, y and Z, then we
could expect some certainoutcome.
And God says maybe one day,like no, actually don't do X and
Y, you're only doing Z today,and you have no idea why that is
(01:42):
.
And following into being okaywith that right can be really
hard because you have these keyperformance indicators if you
don't hit them, you don't feellike you're achieving or you're
like progressing, and it can bereally hard to manage and
sometimes it's like, oh yeah,the person on the side of the
street is way more importantthan anything else.
You got going on today andstill trusting that God has some
(02:04):
sort of a plan for the futurewill be successful.
But it's not like a guaranteedthing at all, like at all, and
so that's really hard to wrestlewith.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, and we've been wrestling with like.
So, if you've listened to us inthe past, especially like how
Zach and I work, is we putnumbers around our like daily
work of like number of hours I'msupposed to be writing number
of speaking engagement, notspeaking engagement, yeah, well,
number of speaking engagements,but number of outreaches.
(02:37):
And so a lot of our work thatwe do on accountability is very
data driven and the reason thatis is so we know that we're and
and I'll also say on that islike you said, of what, what
God's plan is versus our plan,and we do pray, like I've talked
(02:57):
about, like praying throughwhat our goals are, what are we
pursuing?
So we do feel like what we'redoing is following the path that
God leads, but we can get sowrapped up in sometimes of the
numbers and not hitting those.
But looking back on the weekgoing, yeah, we spent time with
(03:18):
our family, yeah, we um were inthe word, we were praying and
our weeks didn't look like whatwe thought they were going to
look like.
And then I think we bring inthis vision of like the world,
and so the world says like, oh,you have to make so much money,
and then money becomes a metricdefining success, or on social
(03:40):
media, like how many likes orhow many views, if you're not
hitting that Right, even withthe podcast, like oh, how many
downloads, whatever it is.
So I think that's one thingwe've been struggling with, yeah
, of defining success from God'sperspective versus our worldly
(04:01):
perspective.
Yeah, I'm struggling with it.
Yeah, because we're like highachiever.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Right and one thing, I've changed is I just don't
since 2020 so four years now.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I don't look at the numbers at all.
I I have no idea on socialmedia, on social media in our
podcast yeah, sorry, um, yeah atall.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
So I I don't.
I mean I've looked recentlybecause I had to.
I was trying to put somethingon facebook marketplace so I got
all these pings for Facebook.
There's people that saidsomething to me like 16 weeks
ago that I never even saw that'skind of like how I've gone the
complete other way and I'mtrying to come back to the
middle somewhere, because I docare about what people are
(04:40):
saying but usually in socialmedia it's not like something
deep or very relevant orimportant.
It's just maybe like a smallencouragement or something like
that, which I don't necessarilywant at all yeah because then
you start, you start get, youstart getting that feedback and
then if you're not getting thefeedback on something, then you
(05:00):
start looking for it, and I justI don't want any part of that
yeah, it's a slippery slope,because where are you finding
your validation from?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
where are you finding your worth from um?
Is it your social media?
Your numbers, right, whatever?
Fill in the blank.
Now you and I kind of look atit a little bit differently is
you don't like it, you don'twant to be on it?
The numbers I don't really careabout the numbers, but I do
like the engagement because it'show I serve people, like
(05:29):
responding and being encouragingand grateful.
So there is this kind of Idon't know, there's this kind of
balance.
So we struggle with this ideaof like success.
But I think, even moving intothat, if you're like a high
achiever, high um, likeperformer, always having to be
(05:51):
doing stuff is like what isenough yeah so Zach and I have
talked about like enough, yeah.
So zach and I have talked aboutlike when I had my full-time job
and my side hustle, like I wasstill constantly feeling like I
wasn't getting enough done yeahand it's like is it just having
a day job?
(06:12):
Enough right?
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
We we've talked about that because you were just even
talking about, like zach.
Well, do you want to talk alittle bit like you have a
business, people come in, youhave clients yeah, and then you
want to do a bunch of otherstuff right, right, well, I what
you were saying about it wasn'tenough.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
We both feel the same way and I mean I can literally
hit a goal, not feel good abouthitting the goal, even though
it's exactly what I set out todo.
Right, and I don't have anylike positive reinforcement
about that.
I just I'm already ahead of thegoal in my mind and seeing what
I don't have yet or what Ihaven't done yet not necessarily
(06:52):
have right.
It's more about what I haven'tdone yet which is I think, yeah,
that's one of my biggest mentalblocks, is that alone.
And that's where, like, I canfind safety and security in
numbers sometimes, because, withworking out, one of the best
ways to get any results is tostart tracking the volume of the
(07:14):
weight and the reps and thesets you're doing Right.
And then if that slowlyincreases over time or you're
doing more, not only does itfeel better because you can see
it that day and feel it that day, but over the couple months you
really notice a difference.
Kind of like tracking your food.
It can be so dangerous forpeople and why I've gone more of
the sustainable route, which Ihave some people that still
track, but it's very, it's likevery clear that they're doing
(07:39):
that for the short term and notthe long term and it's not going
to be a long term fix.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, I think, too, like part of giving your best
life is one good goal, and thereally reason I started doing
the one good goal is I could getcaught up in a bunch of goals,
a bunch of things that I'mpursuing Not to say I still
don't have a bunch of goals, abunch of things that I'm
pursuing, not to say I stilldon't have a bunch of goals, but
one thing that we really talkabout is like what's the big
(08:06):
thing?
what is the one big thing thatyou are focusing on?
And if you can stay focused onthat and it aligns with, like
you've been praying, you knowthat's what God wants you to do,
and if we show up that week andgo, that's the one thing that I
got done then for us we've kindof tried to redefine our
success yeah, on that one bigthing.
(08:29):
So I'll give an example lastweek I wanted to write a
children's book, just get adraft done.
So I told zach, that is like myone good goal for the week and
if I get these other things done, great.
But I don't want to be sooverwhelmed or so like this
definition of success.
So, yeah, your thoughts on thatlike one big goal, one big
(08:50):
priority, and and it's alignedto what god's calling you to do.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
And then if everything else is just kind of
like bonus, yeah, I think if youcan do that, then it's great
but, I think where I struggle isI'll start with that and then
all of a sudden, something willlike sneak in the back.
Or is that the devil?
Yeah, yeah, sure, feels like it.
No, I, I feel that it's.
It can be a distraction, whichI think can be the devil, like
(09:17):
literally just distracting withsomething that doesn't matter or
whatever it is.
And then there's the otherthings that are like interesting
or fascinating, or you might be, you might be pretty good at
something and it's like oh, whatis this?
And look into it more, wherethe other part of it too, on the
other side of the equation, isthe things you're already doing.
That should define successpretty well for you.
(09:39):
So it's like showing up andbeing a good spouse every day.
There's no way of reallytracking that, and I think
that's part of the problem too.
A lot of these like goals youset out, there's some way that
you can track it, so you kind ofknow if you're going in the
right direction or not, and withsome of the most valuable
things in our lives there is noway to track it right.
(10:01):
And like.
For some people they might belike well, I want to go to like
all my kids' recitals orwhatever that's super important
to me or whatever it is.
Or like 80% of the soccer games, whatever it is.
You can kind of track that alittle bit, but at the end of
the day, like there's weactually have in this world,
(10:23):
like sharing, love and giving,are not very easy to check and
make sure you're doing a goodjob and they're not supposed to
be either.
Right?
So, that's where these othergoals and success can slide in,
and it really makes you questionwhere am I going?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah Well, I think you bring up a good point
because that goal that you'reworking on has to be down in the
line.
So in giving your best life, wetalk about what are your
priorities, Right?
So priorities are God, yourspouse, your children and then
everything below that, and Ithink a lot of times we can get
(11:04):
where that thing that we'reworking on for success, whether
it's as an entrepreneur, evenyour day job, volunteerism, work
at the church, like fill in theblank, Sometimes you're doing
those things the prioritybecomes those and it starts
affecting your relationship withyour spouse or with your kids.
(11:26):
And so I think when you'replanning so Zach and I have
talked about like planning Iplan a date night with my
husband to ensure every weekthat we're going out on a date.
That is a priority and it's notjust the number of hours we
spend Like number of hours don'tequal success in a relationship
but it's when we go out.
(11:48):
It's no cell phones.
You know I don't even bring mycell phone anymore when we go
out on our date night.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You're bringing presents to your relationship,
where you can live with somebodyand not be present for weeks
sometimes if you're not aware ofthat.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
So I think that's why that scheduling is so powerful.
Exactly.
And then we're both on the samepage, we're both communicating,
we both have the sameexpectations.
And then I like that youbrought up like the distractions
coming in, because I've had afour-part distraction series and
that's where you have to haveyour priorities.
You have to have one good goal,because then, as other things
(12:24):
come in, you pray about it, youbounce it against your
priorities, you say, okay, god,this other thing snuck in the
back door.
Is this from you?
Is this something I shouldfocus on?
And you start praying throughthat.
And then if it's like, oh, okay, I do need to pivot, then maybe
(12:45):
you do pivot from what?
you're doing or figuring outtime or whatever.
It's very, very difficult.
I mean, this is ebbs and blows,so but I think what you said is
huge.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Like you you're, you have a layer of some foundation
that you're standing on, thatyou're rooted in and what you're
spending your time on and ifyou don't?
have that, then that's likewhere you should start right,
yeah, and then, once you have,that everything gets checked
against it and I think, justnatural human behavior, like
it's very easy for us to pickthings up out of nowhere, but
(13:13):
it's like a lot harder for us toput it down, and it's kind of
like why in western civilizationmost everybody's garage and
basement are full of crap.
Right, we just be picking stuffup, I don't even know where it
comes from.
But that's part of it.
Is that priority isn't there,set in stone.
And then, like you said, whatdoes it really tie back to?
It ties back to thatrelationship with God and saying
(13:34):
, okay, literally the smallestof things, are you testing it to
his will?
And that's very challenging todo, in my opinion.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
But it's always a reality check.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I'm like, oh yeah, I didn't really check in with you
on that and I think the more yousee it, especially in the small
things, it gets amplified inthe big things and then it's a
lot easier to navigate your life.
Basically.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah Well, you talked about that foundation, and the
foundation of giving your bestlife is your faith.
Like what is your relationshipwith Christ?
If that is not your foundation,then all these things are going
to be suffering, you're goingto be distracted, you're not
going to know where you're going.
Are you in the Word?
Are you reading your Bible?
(14:21):
Are you praying?
Are you praising like right?
if that isn't your foundation,these things are always going to
be, rocky chaos and you're notgoing to know, like, where
you're supposed to go, and Ilove that idea of like your
garage being full of stuff andthat can even go into like
budget money, contentmentavoidance.
(14:44):
I was reading a book ongratitude.
Even though I've written a book, you know the gratitude
challenges.
I was listening to another bookand that's what she was talking
about was.
You know, shopping is such athing that can be a distraction
for us just to spend money, tojust be like eating food or
whatever, and then that's howyou end up with all this stuff
(15:07):
that none of it makes you happyright none of it fulfills you.
You can go buy something andthen that is taken away from you
, yeah, but yeah, going back toour like and we're going down
some rabbit holes, but like thatdefinition of success in
society that it's like, well, Ineed a job that makes so much
money so I can have these things.
And it's like, well, no, maybeyou don't.
(15:27):
You know what are yourpriorities, and maybe you just
need to have a roof over yourhead and have food in a car that
gets you to point a to point b,and you don't have to work 60
hours a week to find all thisstuff.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
You just need to be spending time with your family
yeah, your kids, and there'sdefinitely a few amount of us
that are going to be called tolike literal service of the
greatest kind of like leavingyour state or your town or
whatever, yeah, and completelyrelying on god to um pay your
bills.
You know, and I know somebody inturkey right now that had a
(16:03):
family while she was out in themiddle of the middle east and
got married and then has a kidand like knows western
civilization but is not livingthat anymore, right, and you're
dealing with a whole totally.
Who's to say that you don't getcalled into something like that,
right?
And so I think that's the otherthing too is remembering, like
how good we all really have itin that like these challenges
(16:27):
are kind of really trivial inthe sense of like God doesn't
want us to like live thisWestern civilization life and
then die and be like, oh hey,good, like you went to church,
you prayed over some people, you, you know you got more in the
word, you know you got morespiritually advanced, like that
kind of is the underlying toe.
I think that we kind of allfeel a little bit and God's plan
(16:51):
to me is an adventurous planand you're going to have no idea
where it takes you as long asyou give over the reins, and I
feel like you and I talk aboutwe give them over, and then it's
like we yank them back and thenwe're like gosh, dang it, take
them back.
It's this constant struggle andI think that's kind of what
we're all fighting in, becausewe live in this world of massive
(17:12):
comfort.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Massive comfort.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
And if you've never been to a soup kitchen, if
you've never gone out of countryor you've never been to the
poorest part of yourneighborhood and you don't have
any friends, or you've neverbeen to the poorest part of your
neighborhood and you don't haveany friends, or you've never
had acquaintances or you haven'tgiven that time, then you
really are not even fully aware.
So I think that's part of ittoo, is God will make you aware
of these things if you ask him.
But literally I have friends.
(17:38):
Last night we were talkingabout some of the things we were
annoyed about and it was likehouse related stuff.
Yeah, like a lawn or a shingleor something so trivial.
You literally own a home Right,like 99% of the people in the
world don't even own homes.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
You talk about that comfort piece.
I mean we're so comfortablehere in the United States with
everything that we have and yougo like, yeah, I mean I've
worked on projects in Malawi,I've been to Honduras, you know,
traveled into third worldcountries.
And you see and I was eventalking this weekend we did my
(18:17):
family and a friend we hikedfive state parks, did my family
and a friend.
We hiked five state parks inone day.
It was 95 degrees out.
We did 10.5 miles the whole daywas uncomfortable.
Yeah, and we had thisconversation of people don't
want to be uncomfortable rightas soon as it starts to become
uncomfortable, then you just goback to your comfort life.
(18:37):
So it would have been easy forus to do like one hike.
We were sweating, it was 95degrees, we were miserable and
go, let's just go home.
Right, let's just go home, um,but it's like no.
When we got to the end of theday, my dad which was his 70th
birthday was running.
He finished the last trailrunning and it was like you know
(19:01):
what you can do way more thanyou think you can do, but it's
just like you have to pushthrough and God calls us to do
uncomfortable things.
You do not grow if you areconstantly sitting.
That's why I always say thatone good goal should be
something that God is callingyou and you know it.
And it is scary and a lot oftimes you just keep putting it
(19:22):
on the side and God's like nope,and then you either have to
make the decision I trust him, Ihave the faith and I'm going to
step out in that faith or I'mjust going to sit over here and
be comfortable and I don't wantto say not make a difference in
the world, because I do thinkthat wherever you're at, you can
make a difference.
But it's like you're nevergoing to get to see the breadth
(19:45):
and the depth that God has foryour life and living your life
to the fullest If you're notstepping out in faith and really
walking the path that he hascalled you to walk and pursue.
And this morning I was readingCharles Martin.
I've got um, we're doing a bookclub at giving your best life
(20:05):
book club in my home and hisbook it is finished.
And he said the opposite offear or no, the opposite of
faith isn't faithful.
Faithful, what is the word Like?
Not faithful, the opposite offaith is fear.
And I was like that is so good,because I think a lot of times
(20:25):
we are chasing success or we'retrying to do all these things
because we're fearful ofsomething, instead of just
trusting God and having faiththat, okay, you called me to do
this, I'm going to step intothis.
And it might even be like howam I going to pay my bills, how
am I going to find food andgoing?
Okay, god, I totally trust you.
(20:47):
So we went a lot of differentplaces today.
That's a great place to wrap itup and I would say to end, it
is challenge.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I love the fear aspect of it because I think it
speaks to, like you said, theopposite of faith challenge the
common Western civilization roadto success.
Yeah, like all of it is paved byfear.
Your kids have to go to collegeto get a good job, to have a
good life.
You're fearful, right.
(21:16):
Well, they didn't get into thisschool or they didn't get into
the sport.
Fear-based it's keep puttingmoney away into your 401k.
Max that baby out.
You don't max it out one year,oh man, you're not gonna have as
much money to retire on.
And guess what, when you retire, you're gonna be old.
Yeah, how many more years inyour legs do you have?
Less?
Like, if you're lucky, 10, 20,maybe 30.
If you're really lucky, that'sextremely rare.
(21:38):
Yeah, it's like, and then youhave all this, this lump of
money, and then you're like,whoa, I finally get to do
something with it.
Like, maybe that's the life youwant to live.
I just think challenging it,like you said and think about,
is that more fear-based orfaith-based?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Right, I love that.
So we'll end on that and thiswhole conversation about success
enough.
Fear, and faith is just another.
Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with Giving your
Best Life Podcast and also withmy friend.
Speaker 2 (00:05):
Zach Lloyd, Sustainable Anti-Diet Coach.
Speaker 1 (00:08):
And today we're coming to you with a topic that
we actually have talked probablythe last several weeks that
we've been working together andI told Zach I feel like we just
needed to like bring it to thepodcast, because if we both
struggle with it, my guess isone of our listeners struggle
with it, my guess is one of ourlisten, yeah, listeners struggle
with it.
Um, and it is this idea of well, I think it's a couple of
(00:31):
things is defining success as achristian versus it through the
lens of, like, our businesses,our entrepreneurial work?
Um, really, through that lens,yeah, um, I would say so.
(00:55):
Do you have any like commentsto jump us off for thoughts?
Speaker 2 (00:59):
yeah, what we've been talking about I would say like
in the back of our minds, we allhave some idea of like what we
want in this world, but thatdoesn't necessarily spell out
what success should be, and it'sdefinitely probably not what
God's plan is Like.
We have a plan and then God hasa plan, and then usually like,
if you're lucky, you kind ofmeet in the middle, but
sometimes you don't meet at alland God just like pulls you down
(01:22):
the street a little bit.
So I feel like that's part ofit too.
And and God just like pulls youdown the street a little bit.
So I feel like that's part ofit too.
And where we were talking aboutin the productivity sense of
like business, it's like we knowif we do X, y and Z, then we
could expect some certainoutcome.
And God says maybe one day,like no, actually don't do X and
Y, you're only doing Z today,and you have no idea why that is
(01:42):
.
And following into being okaywith that right can be really
hard because you have these keyperformance indicators if you
don't hit them, you don't feellike you're achieving or you're
like progressing, and it can bereally hard to manage and
sometimes it's like, oh yeah,the person on the side of the
street is way more importantthan anything else.
You got going on today andstill trusting that God has some
(02:04):
sort of a plan for the futurewill be successful.
But it's not like a guaranteedthing at all, like at all, and
so that's really hard to wrestlewith.
Speaker 1 (02:17):
Yeah, and we've been wrestling with like.
So, if you've listened to us inthe past, especially like how
Zach and I work, is we putnumbers around our like daily
work of like number of hours I'msupposed to be writing number
of speaking engagement, notspeaking engagement, yeah, well,
number of speaking engagements,but number of outreaches.
(02:37):
And so a lot of our work thatwe do on accountability is very
data driven and the reason thatis is so we know that we're and
and I'll also say on that islike you said, of what, what
God's plan is versus our plan,and we do pray, like I've talked
(02:57):
about, like praying throughwhat our goals are, what are we
pursuing?
So we do feel like what we'redoing is following the path that
God leads, but we can get sowrapped up in sometimes of the
numbers and not hitting those.
But looking back on the weekgoing, yeah, we spent time with
(03:18):
our family, yeah, we um were inthe word, we were praying and
our weeks didn't look like whatwe thought they were going to
look like.
And then I think we bring inthis vision of like the world,
and so the world says like, oh,you have to make so much money,
and then money becomes a metricdefining success, or on social
(03:40):
media, like how many likes orhow many views, if you're not
hitting that Right, even withthe podcast, like oh, how many
downloads, whatever it is.
So I think that's one thingwe've been struggling with, yeah
, of defining success from God'sperspective versus our worldly
(04:01):
perspective.
Yeah, I'm struggling with it.
Yeah, because we're like highachiever.
Speaker 2 (04:10):
Right and one thing, I've changed is I just don't
since 2020 so four years now.
Speaker 1 (04:14):
I don't look at the numbers at all.
I I have no idea on socialmedia, on social media in our
podcast yeah, sorry, um, yeah atall.
Speaker 2 (04:19):
So I I don't.
I mean I've looked recentlybecause I had to.
I was trying to put somethingon facebook marketplace so I got
all these pings for Facebook.
There's people that saidsomething to me like 16 weeks
ago that I never even saw that'skind of like how I've gone the
complete other way and I'mtrying to come back to the
middle somewhere, because I docare about what people are
(04:40):
saying but usually in socialmedia it's not like something
deep or very relevant orimportant.
It's just maybe like a smallencouragement or something like
that, which I don't necessarilywant at all yeah because then
you start, you start get, youstart getting that feedback and
then if you're not getting thefeedback on something, then you
(05:00):
start looking for it, and I justI don't want any part of that
yeah, it's a slippery slope,because where are you finding
your validation from?
Speaker 1 (05:08):
where are you finding your worth from um?
Is it your social media?
Your numbers, right, whatever?
Fill in the blank.
Now you and I kind of look atit a little bit differently is
you don't like it, you don'twant to be on it?
The numbers I don't really careabout the numbers, but I do
like the engagement because it'show I serve people, like
(05:29):
responding and being encouragingand grateful.
So there is this kind of Idon't know, there's this kind of
balance.
So we struggle with this ideaof like success.
But I think, even moving intothat, if you're like a high
achiever, high um, likeperformer, always having to be
(05:51):
doing stuff is like what isenough yeah so Zach and I have
talked about like enough, yeah.
So zach and I have talked aboutlike when I had my full-time job
and my side hustle, like I wasstill constantly feeling like I
wasn't getting enough done yeahand it's like is it just having
a day job?
(06:12):
Enough right?
Speaker 2 (06:13):
I don't know.
Speaker 1 (06:14):
We we've talked about that because you were just even
talking about, like zach.
Well, do you want to talk alittle bit like you have a
business, people come in, youhave clients yeah, and then you
want to do a bunch of otherstuff right, right, well, I what
you were saying about it wasn'tenough.
Speaker 2 (06:28):
We both feel the same way and I mean I can literally
hit a goal, not feel good abouthitting the goal, even though
it's exactly what I set out todo.
Right, and I don't have anylike positive reinforcement
about that.
I just I'm already ahead of thegoal in my mind and seeing what
I don't have yet or what Ihaven't done yet not necessarily
(06:52):
have right.
It's more about what I haven'tdone yet which is I think, yeah,
that's one of my biggest mentalblocks, is that alone.
And that's where, like, I canfind safety and security in
numbers sometimes, because, withworking out, one of the best
ways to get any results is tostart tracking the volume of the
(07:14):
weight and the reps and thesets you're doing Right.
And then if that slowlyincreases over time or you're
doing more, not only does itfeel better because you can see
it that day and feel it that day, but over the couple months you
really notice a difference.
Kind of like tracking your food.
It can be so dangerous forpeople and why I've gone more of
the sustainable route, which Ihave some people that still
track, but it's very, it's likevery clear that they're doing
(07:39):
that for the short term and notthe long term and it's not going
to be a long term fix.
Speaker 1 (07:44):
Yeah, I think, too, like part of giving your best
life is one good goal, and thereally reason I started doing
the one good goal is I could getcaught up in a bunch of goals,
a bunch of things that I'mpursuing Not to say I still
don't have a bunch of goals, abunch of things that I'm
pursuing, not to say I stilldon't have a bunch of goals, but
one thing that we really talkabout is like what's the big
(08:06):
thing?
what is the one big thing thatyou are focusing on?
And if you can stay focused onthat and it aligns with, like
you've been praying, you knowthat's what God wants you to do,
and if we show up that week andgo, that's the one thing that I
got done then for us we've kindof tried to redefine our
success yeah, on that one bigthing.
(08:29):
So I'll give an example lastweek I wanted to write a
children's book, just get adraft done.
So I told zach, that is like myone good goal for the week and
if I get these other things done, great.
But I don't want to be sooverwhelmed or so like this
definition of success.
So, yeah, your thoughts on thatlike one big goal, one big
(08:50):
priority, and and it's alignedto what god's calling you to do.
Speaker 2 (08:54):
And then if everything else is just kind of
like bonus, yeah, I think if youcan do that, then it's great
but, I think where I struggle isI'll start with that and then
all of a sudden, something willlike sneak in the back.
Or is that the devil?
Yeah, yeah, sure, feels like it.
No, I, I feel that it's.
It can be a distraction, whichI think can be the devil, like
(09:17):
literally just distracting withsomething that doesn't matter or
whatever it is.
And then there's the otherthings that are like interesting
or fascinating, or you might be, you might be pretty good at
something and it's like oh, whatis this?
And look into it more, wherethe other part of it too, on the
other side of the equation, isthe things you're already doing.
That should define successpretty well for you.
(09:39):
So it's like showing up andbeing a good spouse every day.
There's no way of reallytracking that, and I think
that's part of the problem too.
A lot of these like goals youset out, there's some way that
you can track it, so you kind ofknow if you're going in the
right direction or not, and withsome of the most valuable
things in our lives there is noway to track it right.
(10:01):
And like.
For some people they might belike well, I want to go to like
all my kids' recitals orwhatever that's super important
to me or whatever it is.
Or like 80% of the soccer games, whatever it is.
You can kind of track that alittle bit, but at the end of
the day, like there's weactually have in this world,
(10:23):
like sharing, love and giving,are not very easy to check and
make sure you're doing a goodjob and they're not supposed to
be either.
Right?
So, that's where these othergoals and success can slide in,
and it really makes you questionwhere am I going?
Speaker 1 (10:41):
Yeah Well, I think you bring up a good point
because that goal that you'reworking on has to be down in the
line.
So in giving your best life, wetalk about what are your
priorities, Right?
So priorities are God, yourspouse, your children and then
everything below that, and Ithink a lot of times we can get
(11:04):
where that thing that we'reworking on for success, whether
it's as an entrepreneur, evenyour day job, volunteerism, work
at the church, like fill in theblank, Sometimes you're doing
those things the prioritybecomes those and it starts
affecting your relationship withyour spouse or with your kids.
(11:26):
And so I think when you'replanning so Zach and I have
talked about like planning Iplan a date night with my
husband to ensure every weekthat we're going out on a date.
That is a priority and it's notjust the number of hours we
spend Like number of hours don'tequal success in a relationship
but it's when we go out.
(11:48):
It's no cell phones.
You know I don't even bring mycell phone anymore when we go
out on our date night.
Speaker 2 (11:53):
You're bringing presents to your relationship,
where you can live with somebodyand not be present for weeks
sometimes if you're not aware ofthat.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
So I think that's why that scheduling is so powerful.
Exactly.
And then we're both on the samepage, we're both communicating,
we both have the sameexpectations.
And then I like that youbrought up like the distractions
coming in, because I've had afour-part distraction series and
that's where you have to haveyour priorities.
You have to have one good goal,because then, as other things
(12:24):
come in, you pray about it, youbounce it against your
priorities, you say, okay, god,this other thing snuck in the
back door.
Is this from you?
Is this something I shouldfocus on?
And you start praying throughthat.
And then if it's like, oh, okay, I do need to pivot, then maybe
(12:45):
you do pivot from what?
you're doing or figuring outtime or whatever.
It's very, very difficult.
I mean, this is ebbs and blows,so but I think what you said is
huge.
Speaker 2 (12:53):
Like you you're, you have a layer of some foundation
that you're standing on, thatyou're rooted in and what you're
spending your time on and ifyou don't?
have that, then that's likewhere you should start right,
yeah, and then, once you have,that everything gets checked
against it and I think, justnatural human behavior, like
it's very easy for us to pickthings up out of nowhere, but
(13:13):
it's like a lot harder for us toput it down, and it's kind of
like why in western civilizationmost everybody's garage and
basement are full of crap.
Right, we just be picking stuffup, I don't even know where it
comes from.
But that's part of it.
Is that priority isn't there,set in stone.
And then, like you said, whatdoes it really tie back to?
It ties back to thatrelationship with God and saying
(13:34):
, okay, literally the smallestof things, are you testing it to
his will?
And that's very challenging todo, in my opinion.
Speaker 1 (13:45):
But it's always a reality check.
Speaker 2 (13:47):
I'm like, oh yeah, I didn't really check in with you
on that and I think the more yousee it, especially in the small
things, it gets amplified inthe big things and then it's a
lot easier to navigate your life.
Basically.
Speaker 1 (14:00):
Yeah Well, you talked about that foundation, and the
foundation of giving your bestlife is your faith.
Like what is your relationshipwith Christ?
If that is not your foundation,then all these things are going
to be suffering, you're goingto be distracted, you're not
going to know where you're going.
Are you in the Word?
Are you reading your Bible?
(14:21):
Are you praying?
Are you praising like right?
if that isn't your foundation,these things are always going to
be, rocky chaos and you're notgoing to know, like, where
you're supposed to go, and Ilove that idea of like your
garage being full of stuff andthat can even go into like
budget money, contentmentavoidance.
(14:44):
I was reading a book ongratitude.
Even though I've written a book, you know the gratitude
challenges.
I was listening to another bookand that's what she was talking
about was.
You know, shopping is such athing that can be a distraction
for us just to spend money, tojust be like eating food or
whatever, and then that's howyou end up with all this stuff
(15:07):
that none of it makes you happyright none of it fulfills you.
You can go buy something andthen that is taken away from you
, yeah, but yeah, going back toour like and we're going down
some rabbit holes, but like thatdefinition of success in
society that it's like, well, Ineed a job that makes so much
money so I can have these things.
And it's like, well, no, maybeyou don't.
(15:27):
You know what are yourpriorities, and maybe you just
need to have a roof over yourhead and have food in a car that
gets you to point a to point b,and you don't have to work 60
hours a week to find all thisstuff.
Speaker 2 (15:39):
You just need to be spending time with your family
yeah, your kids, and there'sdefinitely a few amount of us
that are going to be called tolike literal service of the
greatest kind of like leavingyour state or your town or
whatever, yeah, and completelyrelying on god to um pay your
bills.
You know, and I know somebody inturkey right now that had a
(16:03):
family while she was out in themiddle of the middle east and
got married and then has a kidand like knows western
civilization but is not livingthat anymore, right, and you're
dealing with a whole totally.
Who's to say that you don't getcalled into something like that,
right?
And so I think that's the otherthing too is remembering, like
how good we all really have itin that like these challenges
(16:27):
are kind of really trivial inthe sense of like God doesn't
want us to like live thisWestern civilization life and
then die and be like, oh hey,good, like you went to church,
you prayed over some people, you, you know you got more in the
word, you know you got morespiritually advanced, like that
kind of is the underlying toe.
I think that we kind of allfeel a little bit and God's plan
(16:51):
to me is an adventurous planand you're going to have no idea
where it takes you as long asyou give over the reins, and I
feel like you and I talk aboutwe give them over, and then it's
like we yank them back and thenwe're like gosh, dang it, take
them back.
It's this constant struggle andI think that's kind of what
we're all fighting in, becausewe live in this world of massive
(17:12):
comfort.
Speaker 1 (17:13):
Massive comfort.
Speaker 2 (17:15):
And if you've never been to a soup kitchen, if
you've never gone out of countryor you've never been to the
poorest part of yourneighborhood and you don't have
any friends, or you've neverbeen to the poorest part of your
neighborhood and you don't haveany friends, or you've never
had acquaintances or you haven'tgiven that time, then you
really are not even fully aware.
So I think that's part of ittoo, is God will make you aware
of these things if you ask him.
But literally I have friends.
(17:38):
Last night we were talkingabout some of the things we were
annoyed about and it was likehouse related stuff.
Yeah, like a lawn or a shingleor something so trivial.
You literally own a home Right,like 99% of the people in the
world don't even own homes.
Speaker 1 (17:57):
You talk about that comfort piece.
I mean we're so comfortablehere in the United States with
everything that we have and yougo like, yeah, I mean I've
worked on projects in Malawi,I've been to Honduras, you know,
traveled into third worldcountries.
And you see and I was eventalking this weekend we did my
(18:17):
family and a friend we hikedfive state parks, did my family
and a friend.
We hiked five state parks inone day.
It was 95 degrees out.
We did 10.5 miles the whole daywas uncomfortable.
Yeah, and we had thisconversation of people don't
want to be uncomfortable rightas soon as it starts to become
uncomfortable, then you just goback to your comfort life.
(18:37):
So it would have been easy forus to do like one hike.
We were sweating, it was 95degrees, we were miserable and
go, let's just go home.
Right, let's just go home, um,but it's like no.
When we got to the end of theday, my dad which was his 70th
birthday was running.
He finished the last trailrunning and it was like you know
(19:01):
what you can do way more thanyou think you can do, but it's
just like you have to pushthrough and God calls us to do
uncomfortable things.
You do not grow if you areconstantly sitting.
That's why I always say thatone good goal should be
something that God is callingyou and you know it.
And it is scary and a lot oftimes you just keep putting it
(19:22):
on the side and God's like nope,and then you either have to
make the decision I trust him, Ihave the faith and I'm going to
step out in that faith or I'mjust going to sit over here and
be comfortable and I don't wantto say not make a difference in
the world, because I do thinkthat wherever you're at, you can
make a difference.
But it's like you're nevergoing to get to see the breadth
(19:45):
and the depth that God has foryour life and living your life
to the fullest If you're notstepping out in faith and really
walking the path that he hascalled you to walk and pursue.
And this morning I was readingCharles Martin.
I've got um, we're doing a bookclub at giving your best life
(20:05):
book club in my home and hisbook it is finished.
And he said the opposite offear or no, the opposite of
faith isn't faithful.
Faithful, what is the word Like?
Not faithful, the opposite offaith is fear.
And I was like that is so good,because I think a lot of times
(20:25):
we are chasing success or we'retrying to do all these things
because we're fearful ofsomething, instead of just
trusting God and having faiththat, okay, you called me to do
this, I'm going to step intothis.
And it might even be like howam I going to pay my bills, how
am I going to find food andgoing?
Okay, god, I totally trust you.
(20:47):
So we went a lot of differentplaces today.
That's a great place to wrap itup and I would say to end, it
is challenge.
Speaker 2 (20:56):
I love the fear aspect of it because I think it
speaks to, like you said, theopposite of faith challenge the
common Western civilization roadto success.
Yeah, like all of it is paved byfear.
Your kids have to go to collegeto get a good job, to have a
good life.
You're fearful, right.
(21:16):
Well, they didn't get into thisschool or they didn't get into
the sport.
Fear-based it's keep puttingmoney away into your 401k.
Max that baby out.
You don't max it out one year,oh man, you're not gonna have as
much money to retire on.
And guess what, when you retire, you're gonna be old.
Yeah, how many more years inyour legs do you have?
Less?
Like, if you're lucky, 10, 20,maybe 30.
If you're really lucky, that'sextremely rare.
(21:38):
Yeah, it's like, and then youhave all this, this lump of
money, and then you're like,whoa, I finally get to do
something with it.
Like, maybe that's the life youwant to live.
I just think challenging it,like you said and think about,
is that more fear-based orfaith-based?
Speaker 1 (21:51):
Right, I love that.
So we'll end on that and thiswhole conversation about success
enough.
Fear, and faith is just another.
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