October 26, 2024 • 12 mins
Skipping an event might seem trivial, but prioritizing well-being is a powerful act and often a mindset shift. In this episode of "Giving Your Best Life," I share my journey in recognizing when to hit pause for the sake of longer-term goals.
Discover how understanding our reasons for saying "yes" can guide us toward intentional decisions that prevent burnout. I also recount leading an event plagued by last-minute cancellations, shedding light on how honoring commitments is crucial for personal integrity and the smooth planning of any gathering.
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Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with another
episode of Giving your Best Lifepodcast and I was reflecting
back this morning on somethingthat happened last week and it
was a great lesson for me.
Actually, when I did it I waslike, oh, I'm growing, and
celebrated that a little bit.
So, first of all, when you seethat you are having growth in
(00:24):
your life, pause and celebratethat, because I think sometimes
we can be really hard onourselves or we don't think that
we're making forward progressor we're growing.
So if you notice that inyourself, first of all take time
to celebrate it.
So what I want to talk about isI don't know about you, but on
(00:44):
and off for the last couple ofweeks I have just had I don't
know if it's a head cold.
I actually think it's allergies.
I've noticed the pollen is veryhigh, you know just runny nose.
But when you have a runny nose,doesn't it just feel like, oh
gosh, can I blow my nose onemore time?
So, anyways, I was supposed togo to an event with my
(01:09):
accountability partner, zach,and I had actually canceled our
accountability session, likethat Monday.
I just like, at first I justwanted to make sure I wasn't
sick.
I didn't want to get him sick.
He's got two little kiddos andso I was just being precautious.
(01:30):
But as the week went on, it'slike I think I just got a whole
head cold or allergies.
But we were supposed to go toan event on Thursday and so he
had texted me and was like hey,are we still going to this event
tomorrow night, or probably not?
And I really wanted to go.
It had been on my calendar fora while, it was going to be good
(01:53):
for my business, but then Ijust paused and whenever I am
speaking to groups on burnout amspeaking to groups on burnout.
One of the things that I'verealized that myself and many
women that I coach, many womenthat I talk with even men, I
(02:14):
just know a lot of my audienceis usually women is when we get
asked to do something or we'vemaybe even committed to
something, is we don't pause inour decision-making.
Sorry, we don't pause in ourdecision-making, and so it was
like I had to pause and thinkabout not only like the
(02:39):
immediate effect of going tothat event, but what did I have
coming up?
And sometimes, when we makedecisions and we say yes to
attending things, we don't thinkabout the long-term, we don't
think about what we have comingup and that's how we can
overbook our schedule, that'show we can get run down, we can
(03:02):
get burned out because we juststart saying yes to everything
and then it's like, oh my gosh,my schedule's overflowed.
So I took a little pause tothink about it and then I was
just like I don't think, so I'mnot going to go to this event,
because I had a speakingengagement like three days after
it and I was like man, I justthink if I'm around a bunch of
(03:24):
people, um, it was going to be amultiple hour event.
You know, going into theevening I still had prep that I
had to do, um for my upcomingspeaking engagement, and so
after I had told him like, yeah,I don't think I'm going to go,
even though I really wanted to,um, you know, I sent a follow
(03:47):
I'm going to go, even though Ireally wanted to.
I sent a follow-up text to saythe old me would go, but
breaking up with burnout, whichis something that I've been
(04:07):
working on for years, that me isnot, and I feel like that's a
win for me.
I want to share this alsobecause something happened at
the event this weekend and italso reminded me of commitment,
so making sure that we'resticking to the commitments that
we make, and how it affectswith people.
So I think this is a reallygood, you know, kind of segue
(04:29):
into that.
So before I segue into thatsorry, I just want to kind of
tie a bow around that firstpiece of it.
I think I've been able to breakup with burnout and kind of get
through this.
That phase of my life and that'sbeen over years is that one.
(04:52):
I don't make quick decisionsand commitments when people ask
me to do stuff or even when I'mevaluating events.
So I really challenge you tonot just say immediately yes is
really pause and take time tolook at your schedule, look at
what you have coming up.
(05:13):
Does this align with yourpriorities?
You know, if you say yes to onething, you have to say no to
another thing.
I think two is you know when wesay yes or if we want to say
yes.
When we say yes or if we wantto say yes is why are we saying
(05:36):
yes?
So originally I had said yes tothis event because there was an
upside for my business.
Also, it was local, so I wasn'tgoing to have to travel.
It was a very low cost and Ididn't have to sign up before,
so there was a little wiggleroom to get out of it.
So these are just things toconsider as opportunities come
(05:58):
in and you get asked to dothings or you see things that
might be a nice shiny object youknow, like how do I make
decisions of what I do?
How am I spending my time?
Now what I want to transitionto is this commitment of events.
So I led an event this weekendand it was an RSVP event because
(06:24):
we were catering it.
So there was a cost of food anddrinks and snacks and printed
materials and, like there was asignificant cost, the morning of
that event, half the peoplewell, not half, but like a good
(06:48):
handful text the event plannerand said they weren't coming.
Now some said they were sick.
Okay, that's, you know, wedon't want sick people there.
But at the event we had overhalf people that committed to
coming not show up and at firstI was very irritated because I
(07:11):
have seen this of someone whoputs up on events.
I keynoted an event a couple ofweeks where people just don't
show up to events.
I don't know if it was the niceday.
I don't know.
I feel like we live in asociety where our commitment,
our word, doesn't really meananything or something better
(07:33):
comes up, or maybe we just don'tfeel like it.
And I really challenge you thatif you commit to an event,
especially where there is goingto be food this was actually a
free event so they didn't haveto pay, but there was going to
be food, there was materials,materials like there was a cost
to somebody else of peoplebacking out, which ended up
(07:56):
costing this organization acouple hundred dollars because
that many people backed up outof the event, the event that I
didn't attend.
There was no RSVP, there was nocost, there was you.
It didn't affect anybody elsereally except me and you know,
my friend, who I was going to gowith.
So I just really challenge youthat you know, stick to the
(08:22):
commitment, especially if thereis somebody's putting a cost and
effort, unless you've paid andyou're covering that cost.
The other thing too, it wasinteresting, which it ended up
being a positive thing.
I know my friend and I were abit irritated in the beginning,
but the smaller group led tomore engagement.
(08:43):
We got to have a lot of reallygood discussions.
You can't do that when you havea larger group, so I always
like to look at you know.
The other side is this is whowas supposed to be there, but
there was a gal there and Iappreciate her sharing is, even
though she had signed up, shesaid she almost didn't come.
It was like just going to beeasier to stay in bed it was a
(09:05):
Saturday, be comfy, like watch amovie with her kiddos but she
decided to do something forherself and it was a perfect
Like.
Her sharing that with us waslike this is why people don't
show up because it is morecomfortable a lot of times to
(09:25):
stay at home, to not get outsideof our comfort zones, to just
do what's easy.
I even feel like a lot of timesit's just comfortable not to
leave our house and have to getready and have to go be with
people.
So I didn't intend to talkabout that today.
I really just wanted to talkabout, like you know, the
(09:46):
burnout and how we makedecisions and our schedules and
over committing and in takingcare of ourselves first, um, but
also I just felt it's importantto make sure that we're
sticking with our commitmentsand making sure we are people
that you know if we commit tosomething, we do it.
(10:07):
And if I think about these twotopics is they are just other
ways of how you can get togiving your best life.
Ps, I want to add some bonuscontent.
This morning I spilled my coffee.
You might have seen.
I posted it on social media andI was immediately irritated
(10:31):
with myself and I put protein inmy coffee.
So it's just really gritty.
It was really hot too.
I mean, I was like trying toscramble of how do I set my
coffee down, but as I was likesitting on the floor cleaning up
this mess that I had made, Ijust went from irritation to
(10:51):
gratitude.
And you know, a part of givingyour best life, my 4G method, um
, you know, number two of thatis gratitude, um, and I just
started thinking about what Iwas grateful for and going
through that list and then, as Iwas thinking about what I was
grateful for, I just startedthinking about all the people in
(11:11):
the mountains of North Carolinathat had, um, you know,
literally lost their homes.
Many people lost their lives,um, homes, many people lost
their lives.
You know that still don't havewater, electricity, just all
this stuff.
And I just really challenge youto, you know, when you have
even small things, I think a lotof times these small things we
(11:34):
just tend to let them snowballand it becomes really big in our
head and then we get so caughtup that and it ruins our day, it
ruins our week, it affectsother people, whether it's in
their household, whatever itjust can.
Snowball is if you arepracticing gratitude, um, and if
(11:57):
you're not, I have two greatresources my book, the Gratitude
Challenge, and then Thank youNotes to God.
You can get them on my websiteat givingyourbestlifecom.
Gratitude can help you resetthese moments, for it puts life
(12:23):
in perspective and now I can gothroughout my day, not even
having to worry about thespilled coffee.
So that's just a little bonus.
Content of you know, wheneveryou have things that go wrong or
don't go your way, or it'sspilled coffee, whatever it is
is immediately switch yourmindset to what can I be
grateful for?
And friends, I am grateful foryou today, go out and have a
(12:44):
fabulous day.
Hey friends, it's Stephanie here with another
episode of Giving your Best Lifepodcast and I was reflecting
back this morning on somethingthat happened last week and it
was a great lesson for me.
Actually, when I did it I waslike, oh, I'm growing, and
celebrated that a little bit.
So, first of all, when you seethat you are having growth in
(00:24):
your life, pause and celebratethat, because I think sometimes
we can be really hard onourselves or we don't think that
we're making forward progressor we're growing.
So if you notice that inyourself, first of all take time
to celebrate it.
So what I want to talk about isI don't know about you, but on
(00:44):
and off for the last couple ofweeks I have just had I don't
know if it's a head cold.
I actually think it's allergies.
I've noticed the pollen is veryhigh, you know just runny nose.
But when you have a runny nose,doesn't it just feel like, oh
gosh, can I blow my nose onemore time?
So, anyways, I was supposed togo to an event with my
(01:09):
accountability partner, zach,and I had actually canceled our
accountability session, likethat Monday.
I just like, at first I justwanted to make sure I wasn't
sick.
I didn't want to get him sick.
He's got two little kiddos andso I was just being precautious.
(01:30):
But as the week went on, it'slike I think I just got a whole
head cold or allergies.
But we were supposed to go toan event on Thursday and so he
had texted me and was like hey,are we still going to this event
tomorrow night, or probably not?
And I really wanted to go.
It had been on my calendar fora while, it was going to be good
(01:53):
for my business, but then Ijust paused and whenever I am
speaking to groups on burnout amspeaking to groups on burnout.
One of the things that I'verealized that myself and many
women that I coach, many womenthat I talk with even men, I
(02:14):
just know a lot of my audienceis usually women is when we get
asked to do something or we'vemaybe even committed to
something, is we don't pause inour decision-making.
Sorry, we don't pause in ourdecision-making, and so it was
like I had to pause and thinkabout not only like the
(02:39):
immediate effect of going tothat event, but what did I have
coming up?
And sometimes, when we makedecisions and we say yes to
attending things, we don't thinkabout the long-term, we don't
think about what we have comingup and that's how we can
overbook our schedule, that'show we can get run down, we can
(03:02):
get burned out because we juststart saying yes to everything
and then it's like, oh my gosh,my schedule's overflowed.
So I took a little pause tothink about it and then I was
just like I don't think, so I'mnot going to go to this event,
because I had a speakingengagement like three days after
it and I was like man, I justthink if I'm around a bunch of
(03:24):
people, um, it was going to be amultiple hour event.
You know, going into theevening I still had prep that I
had to do, um for my upcomingspeaking engagement, and so
after I had told him like, yeah,I don't think I'm going to go,
even though I really wanted to,um, you know, I sent a follow
(03:47):
I'm going to go, even though Ireally wanted to.
I sent a follow-up text to saythe old me would go, but
breaking up with burnout, whichis something that I've been
(04:07):
working on for years, that me isnot, and I feel like that's a
win for me.
I want to share this alsobecause something happened at
the event this weekend and italso reminded me of commitment,
so making sure that we'resticking to the commitments that
we make, and how it affectswith people.
So I think this is a reallygood, you know, kind of segue
(04:29):
into that.
So before I segue into thatsorry, I just want to kind of
tie a bow around that firstpiece of it.
I think I've been able to breakup with burnout and kind of get
through this.
That phase of my life and that'sbeen over years is that one.
(04:52):
I don't make quick decisionsand commitments when people ask
me to do stuff or even when I'mevaluating events.
So I really challenge you tonot just say immediately yes is
really pause and take time tolook at your schedule, look at
what you have coming up.
(05:13):
Does this align with yourpriorities?
You know, if you say yes to onething, you have to say no to
another thing.
I think two is you know when wesay yes or if we want to say
yes.
When we say yes or if we wantto say yes is why are we saying
(05:36):
yes?
So originally I had said yes tothis event because there was an
upside for my business.
Also, it was local, so I wasn'tgoing to have to travel.
It was a very low cost and Ididn't have to sign up before,
so there was a little wiggleroom to get out of it.
So these are just things toconsider as opportunities come
(05:58):
in and you get asked to dothings or you see things that
might be a nice shiny object youknow, like how do I make
decisions of what I do?
How am I spending my time?
Now what I want to transitionto is this commitment of events.
So I led an event this weekendand it was an RSVP event because
(06:24):
we were catering it.
So there was a cost of food anddrinks and snacks and printed
materials and, like there was asignificant cost, the morning of
that event, half the peoplewell, not half, but like a good
(06:48):
handful text the event plannerand said they weren't coming.
Now some said they were sick.
Okay, that's, you know, wedon't want sick people there.
But at the event we had overhalf people that committed to
coming not show up and at firstI was very irritated because I
(07:11):
have seen this of someone whoputs up on events.
I keynoted an event a couple ofweeks where people just don't
show up to events.
I don't know if it was the niceday.
I don't know.
I feel like we live in asociety where our commitment,
our word, doesn't really meananything or something better
(07:33):
comes up, or maybe we just don'tfeel like it.
And I really challenge you thatif you commit to an event,
especially where there is goingto be food this was actually a
free event so they didn't haveto pay, but there was going to
be food, there was materials,materials like there was a cost
to somebody else of peoplebacking out, which ended up
(07:56):
costing this organization acouple hundred dollars because
that many people backed up outof the event, the event that I
didn't attend.
There was no RSVP, there was nocost, there was you.
It didn't affect anybody elsereally except me and you know,
my friend, who I was going to gowith.
So I just really challenge youthat you know, stick to the
(08:22):
commitment, especially if thereis somebody's putting a cost and
effort, unless you've paid andyou're covering that cost.
The other thing too, it wasinteresting, which it ended up
being a positive thing.
I know my friend and I were abit irritated in the beginning,
but the smaller group led tomore engagement.
(08:43):
We got to have a lot of reallygood discussions.
You can't do that when you havea larger group, so I always
like to look at you know.
The other side is this is whowas supposed to be there, but
there was a gal there and Iappreciate her sharing is, even
though she had signed up, shesaid she almost didn't come.
It was like just going to beeasier to stay in bed it was a
(09:05):
Saturday, be comfy, like watch amovie with her kiddos but she
decided to do something forherself and it was a perfect
Like.
Her sharing that with us waslike this is why people don't
show up because it is morecomfortable a lot of times to
(09:25):
stay at home, to not get outsideof our comfort zones, to just
do what's easy.
I even feel like a lot of timesit's just comfortable not to
leave our house and have to getready and have to go be with
people.
So I didn't intend to talkabout that today.
I really just wanted to talkabout, like you know, the
(09:46):
burnout and how we makedecisions and our schedules and
over committing and in takingcare of ourselves first, um, but
also I just felt it's importantto make sure that we're
sticking with our commitmentsand making sure we are people
that you know if we commit tosomething, we do it.
(10:07):
And if I think about these twotopics is they are just other
ways of how you can get togiving your best life.
Ps, I want to add some bonuscontent.
This morning I spilled my coffee.
You might have seen.
I posted it on social media andI was immediately irritated
(10:31):
with myself and I put protein inmy coffee.
So it's just really gritty.
It was really hot too.
I mean, I was like trying toscramble of how do I set my
coffee down, but as I was likesitting on the floor cleaning up
this mess that I had made, Ijust went from irritation to
(10:51):
gratitude.
And you know, a part of givingyour best life, my 4G method, um
, you know, number two of thatis gratitude, um, and I just
started thinking about what Iwas grateful for and going
through that list and then, as Iwas thinking about what I was
grateful for, I just startedthinking about all the people in
(11:11):
the mountains of North Carolinathat had, um, you know,
literally lost their homes.
Many people lost their lives,um, homes, many people lost
their lives.
You know that still don't havewater, electricity, just all
this stuff.
And I just really challenge youto, you know, when you have
even small things, I think a lotof times these small things we
(11:34):
just tend to let them snowballand it becomes really big in our
head and then we get so caughtup that and it ruins our day, it
ruins our week, it affectsother people, whether it's in
their household, whatever itjust can.
Snowball is if you arepracticing gratitude, um, and if
(11:57):
you're not, I have two greatresources my book, the Gratitude
Challenge, and then Thank youNotes to God.
You can get them on my websiteat givingyourbestlifecom.
Gratitude can help you resetthese moments, for it puts life
(12:23):
in perspective and now I can gothroughout my day, not even
having to worry about thespilled coffee.
So that's just a little bonus.
Content of you know, wheneveryou have things that go wrong or
don't go your way, or it'sspilled coffee, whatever it is
is immediately switch yourmindset to what can I be
grateful for?
And friends, I am grateful foryou today, go out and have a
(12:44):
fabulous day.
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