February 12, 2025 • 34 mins
Are you holding onto shame from your past, feeling like your story is something to hide instead of something to own? Today’s guest, Candi Rose, has been there—and she’s here to show you the way forward.
In this powerful episode, Candi shares her raw and inspiring journey from rock bottom to success, overcoming abuse, addiction, and shame to build a thriving career and an empowered life. She reveals:
✅ How to break the cycle of shame and reclaim your voice
✅ The baby steps that lead to BIG transformations
✅ How she found the courage to rewrite her story—again and again
✅ The role faith, community, and mindset play in healing and growth
If you’ve ever felt lost, stuck, or like your past is holding you back, this episode is for you. Get ready for a conversation that will inspire you to step into your power and own your story like never before.
🎧 Listen now, and don’t forget to connect with Candi at candirose.com for more resources!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (00:00):
Some stories aren't just meant to be
(00:02):
told.
They are meant to set peoplefree.
And today's guest, Candy Rose,has built her career doing just
that.
But here's what she knows to betrue.
When people hear their truthreflected in someone else's
story.
They finally feel the permissionto break their silence and step
(00:22):
into their power.
And dang, y'all, do I know thatto be true.
But Candy helps people confrontwhat they've been running from,
reclaim their voice, and takereal tangible steps forward.
If you ever felt like nobodyunderstands you, which, hello,
me, this episode is for you.
Well, welcome to the glassceiling and sticky floor
(00:42):
podcast.
The show that's here to empoweryou to break free from limiting
beliefs, ditch toxic behaviors,and unlock the infinite
possibilities waiting for you.
This is your time to live yourbest life unapologetically I'm
Erica Rooney, your host andbiggest cheerleader on a mission
to get more women into positionsof power and keep them there.
(01:05):
Where they belong.
If you're ready to shatterceilings, crush self-doubt and
build a career in lifeoverflowing with growth and
abundance.
You're in the right place.
Here's the deal.
We talk about the hard stuffhere.
Imposter syndrome,perfectionism, fear, burnout,
you name it.
It's raw.
It's honest.
And it's exactly what you needto level up.
(01:25):
So grab a seat, pop it in here,bud.
And let's dive in.
So let's get into it.
Without any further ado, CandyRose, welcome to the show.
How are you?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (01:37):
Thank you.
I am doing great.
So excited we finally got thisgoing.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (01:41):
I know, it's gonna be so good, but
I, from the moment I saw yourbook, which, spoiler alert
everybody, she is an author,she's got this amazing book
called Naked, which, don'tworry, she got her clothes on,
but we are going to talk aboutit, and I knew I had to have you
on this show because I want tocall you like this shame expert,
(02:02):
right, like you know your stuff,but before I give away too much.
Tell me all about who is KandiRose and what got us to this
point.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-202 (02:11):
Oh my gosh, that's such a long
story.
I had a good childhood growingup.
Everything was great.
You know, when I was in highschool, that's when things
started taking a turn for me.
I was bullied for two years.
And, um, after that, you know, Iwas just this hurting teen.
I was running away from family,God.
sports friends.
And I ended up, you know, goingto another school.
(02:35):
I started skipping school.
I started drinking drugs, allthe stuff.
By the time I'm 19, I'm arrestedby the D.
A.
You know, I ended up dating drugdealers.
I mean, I was just going down avery, very fast spiral
clusterfuck out of control,right?
(02:56):
I'm just this hurting teenrunning away.
And now I'm just getting in somuch trouble.
I don't know how to fix it.
And I'm, I'm just spiraling andI'm drinking more and I'm doing
more drugs and I'm living thelifestyle of, you know, the
raves and the all night clubsand I'm dating guys.
I shouldn't be dating.
And then I start strippingbecause I think, Hey, I'm dating
(03:17):
drug dealers.
We're doing drugs.
These strippers are making a lotof money.
My life isn't looking very goodright now.
Anyways, I mean, I was justarrested by the feds.
I now dropped out of college.
I really didn't see any hope formy life.
And so that's kind of thebeginning of how it happened for
me.
After that, you know, it justcontinued to spiral and to, you
(03:39):
know, I got into an abusiverelationship with a man that I
loved with all of my heart.
And Anybody that's been in anabusive relationship knows
that's just when you don't know,you don't know the first time
you're in one, you know, youjust think they're having a bad
day, you know, this is going toget better.
And you, you know, pray for themto get better.
(04:01):
But at this time, um, everythingwas just kind of out of control.
And I ended up.
You know, staying with him forabout four years, um, and, and
things just kind of continued tospiral, right?
When I finally got the courageto leave him, my home was in pre
foreclosure, I'm now like, whatam I going to do with my life?
(04:23):
And I'm thinking, you know, allthe words.
That he had ever called me, youknow, that telling me that I was
just a dumb bitch and a dirtyused up stripper.
Nobody's ever going to want agirl like me.
I was like, you know, maybe he'sright, you know, I don't have
anything to show for myself.
Here I am, my home's in preforeclosure, I'm a college
dropout, you know, with acriminal background, who had
been a stripper.
(04:44):
I'm not very educated, I've gotnothing, I've got no money, you
know, I, I, I, I, I'm obviouslydating people that I deserve to
be dating.
Cause this is.
How I was thinking.
I don't deserve anybody betterthan this, right?
And that was at my lowest pointwhere I contemplated suicide.
And I thought, you know, thereis this hole that I have dug so
(05:08):
deep.
And I didn't see any way out.
And I was so ashamed of theperson that I had become.
I had let myself down.
I let my family down.
I let God down.
And I thought, you know, itmight just be easier because of
the pain I was feeling if Icould just check out.
Luckily that didn't happen, andI'm still here.
(05:29):
And that was the beginning of merebuilding my life.
Rebuilding it from basicallynothing to everything that I
have now.
So that's sort of the beginningof my life.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (05:43):
That is, but like, tell me like where
you are now.
What are you doing now?
Because you've got a 14 year olddaughter, right?
A thriving career.
So we already know becauseyou're here, you're on the other
side of it.
Where are we now?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (05:55):
Okay.
So, um, basically after that, Iended up getting my real estate
investing career started.
Um, this was super huge for mebecause I didn't want to go back
to the club.
Um, and I got that careerstarted within 45 days.
I had put a house on a contract.
I flipped it.
I had made a whole selfie of 7,000.
I saved my home from foreclosureand I never went back to the
(06:18):
club.
And this was the beginning.
Yes, of rebuilding my selfworth.
I knew at the time that I had tofind a career.
Where I could do without acollege degree.
And so I went to work trying tofigure out what I could do
entrepreneurial wise.
Um, and then throughout all ofthat, this is the way I see it.
(06:40):
It's kind of a difficult story.
I, um, ended up meeting anotherguy and, um, I ended up kind of
rebounding cause I wasn't overmy ex.
I got pregnant and when she wasone, I called the wedding off.
Now, during this time of being,becoming a successful real
(07:02):
estate investor, because at thetime I was flipping houses for
about a year and a half.
And then I met this guy and thenI rebounded with him.
He had a lot of money.
So I kind of quit working and hewas like, let me take care of
you.
And yada, yada, yada, gotpregnant when she was one and a
half, I called the wedding off.
And then we found ourself.
(07:23):
He had kicked us out, taken ouronly car, and even though he had
three, kept all my clothes.
And then my parents took us in,um, we would have been homeless
if it weren't for them taking usin.
And so then again, it was like,my, my life just hit, hits rock
bottoms.
A lot of times that's why I haveto go through it so you can kind
of see where I'm at.
(07:45):
But I was home and I was like,why God, why me again?
And then I got up, decided, Hey,I'm going to start rebuilding my
life again.
I rebuilt my business for asecond time and from the outside
looking in for about ninemonths, which nothing was
happening from the outsidelooking in, everybody was
looking at me like, what are youdoing with your life?
(08:05):
Like you need to get up, youneed to get a job.
And I'm like, I I'm trying toget my business going, you know?
And within nine months, I putthis other house under contract.
I flipped it.
I had made so much money.
That now I was able to go outand start my career all over
again.
Um, I ended up being able to buyus a car.
Uh, we didn't have a car forlike a year.
(08:27):
So that was a whole nother, youknow, getting up and starting
over.
And that was really exciting.
And within a year, it had gottenus a house, a car, got my
business started again.
And things were looking up.
So, fast forward a few yearslater, I am, I have now flipped
hundreds of homes.
(08:47):
And now I was building multimillion dollar homes.
Again, I am nobody special.
You know, I'm just somebody thatsaw a challenge, wanted to try
it.
I learned a trade.
I learned how to do things.
And then I did it even though itwas really, really scary to get
involved in it.
And then I became good at it,right?
(09:08):
And so I had just sold thebiggest project in my career.
It was this 10, 000 square foothome that I had built in this
really nice neighborhood.
Um, it was 2.
6 million.
Now at the time, this is beforethis crazy.
erica_1_01-23-2025_13121 (09:22):
Right, in today's money, that's like a
10.
6 million dollar home.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01- (09:27):
Exactly.
So at the time, I mean, it wasgorgeous and I had just sold it
and I need so much money and I'mmiserable and I'm like, what is
going on?
I had also built my daughter andI a brand new home during this
time.
I mean, I am a female dominatinga male dominated industry and
I'm like, what, why am I sounhappy?
(09:50):
Why am I not like, and I feltguilty.
I felt like I should beappreciative and I was.
I was very appreciative and I,um, had to take a step back and
I realized.
I'm burnt out.
I, I'm, I've worked so much.
I've become this perfectionistand this workaholic because I'm
throwing myself into my workbecause I'm trying to get over
(10:13):
all of the pain from my, youknow, my exes from the abuse.
from, you know, running from,you know, being abandoned to
raise a child on my own.
I'm trying to prove something topeople.
I'm trying to prove to myparents.
I'm not a total fuck up.
I'm trying to prove to myself Icould take care of my kid
without any help from thefather.
You know, it was just so muchstress.
(10:35):
And I had gotten to this placeand I was just like, What's
wrong with me?
And I realized that I was justtired of running and I didn't
want to run anymore.
And I was like, I have to go.
And as whatever this soundslike, I felt like, you know, I
just needed to run away and findmyself and heal.
And so I did, I ended up, um,moving my daughter and I to
(10:59):
Spain in the middle of it all.
I just said.
I'm not doing this anymore.
I'm not working a hundred hourweeks or 80 hour weeks or
whatever.
I was working and raising achild on my own.
I was like, I want to, you know,be part of my child's life.
I mean, she's nine at this timeand I want to be happy and the
money that I was making, youknow, I made a lot of money in
(11:21):
the strip club and I made a lotof money flipping houses, but
like both of them, I ran awayfrom those careers because I
wasn't happy.
With the money, like, and I ranaway from my ex who was a
multimillionaire because Iwasn't happy in that
relationship.
And like, I was just searchingfor my happiness and I found it.
(11:43):
I found it completely broke andbroken with my child and
starting my life all over again.
Like, you know what I mean?
That was the beginning was whenI left him, I, I started to
rebuild my happiness.
And as I'm kind of going back,but as I'm building my child and
I's, future, I loved being areal estate investor, but then
(12:07):
it got to the point where it wasjust all about work, more hours,
more work, more hours, morework.
And I had done it.
I had already proven to myselfthat I could be successful here,
but then it got to the pointwhere it was like.
This isn't my passion anymore.
This isn't my calling anymore.
This was my vehicle to get outof rock bottom and to be able to
(12:29):
take care of my kid.
And I, I, I feel blessed.
And I said, thank you to God somuch.
But I was like, now I feel likeI'm being called to do something
else and it was scary because itwas like, walk away from this
career where I'm making so muchmoney and just go find yourself.
(12:50):
heal and write this book andtake care of your child.
And I didn't know at the time, Ijust knew I just needed to get
it out.
And so I started to write and Imean, this.
process was so therapeutic.
I, I can't tell you how manytimes I cried writing this book
(13:13):
and it was just like, it was away to just release everything
inside of me that I had kepthidden from everybody.
Like that I just have kept.
Hidden from society and fromfrom my parents and from my
friends.
I mean, no, nobody really knewabout what was going on in my
(13:34):
life, you know, and I started towrite.
And it, it freed me.
And that was kind of thebeginning of my speaking career.
It, it helped me to get mythoughts in order, you know, and
it helped me to understand mystory even more.
And it, it, it was verytherapeutic in the fact that it
(13:56):
brought up a lot of repressedMemories.
And that's why I was crying somuch because I had forgotten
about the pain of being bullied.
Oh my gosh, when I startedtalking about that, I would just
like cry like I was still inhigh school, like because of the
pain, right?
And when I'm writing about theabuse, I'm, I'm bawling.
(14:19):
And I'm, when I'm writing about,you know, my, my, my substance
abuse problem, I'm I'm likecrying because I remember, you
know, being on the bathroomfloor, like throwing up, like
profusely thinking I'm going toOD, am I going to ever wake up
(14:39):
and just crying out to God, Godhelp me, God help me, why can't
I stop this, why can't Iremember, I hate this feeling,
like what's wrong with me, youknow, you're sitting there like
I'm never going to, Get overthis.
And then you start, it comesback when you start writing it.
And so it just was, it was justan amazing experience.
(15:02):
I'm, to walk away fromeverything, to follow a calling,
to follow something in my heart.
Cause I felt like God was goingto use.
me somehow to go out there andshow people that it's not over.
It's not over.
It's never over.
so that was kind of the thingthat led me into my speaking
career.
I, um, I wrote the book.
(15:23):
People started asking me to comespeak on stages, and I was
trying to sell at the point atthat time, real estate investing
courses.
And I would have all thesepeople lined up, and they didn't
want to buy real estateinvesting courses they wanted to
buy.
They wanted to No.
How did I overcome, you know,all the things in my past and,
and that was a big, um, ahamoment was like, okay, I'm going
(15:48):
to change direction here.
I'm going to, instead of goingand sharing my story, which I do
in real estate investing isalways a big vehicle.
I'm going to now start to targetit towards people so that I
could show them how to step outof their shame and their pain
from their past.
and show them that they're notalone and that there's always
(16:13):
hope and that there's You know,it does not matter where you
come from.
It doesn't matter if you havemoney, what color you are, what
sex you are, what, if you haveany education, there is always a
way to make it work if youreally want to make it work.
Because there's so manyresources now.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (16:35):
Well, there's so much stuff and I mean
I talk a lot about infinitepossibilities and I think people
Shut that down sometimes andthey tune it out because they
think, no, that could not be forme, right?
Like, I could never do that.
For example, I'm sure there's aton of people who are listening
right now that are like, Icouldn't just pick up and move
to Spain.
That must be nice.
And it's like, no, no, no.
(16:55):
That's not what we're talkingabout here, right?
Because let's, let's just listenback to her whole story and tell
me again that that must be nice,right?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (17:03):
Yeah.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (17:04):
But what I'm really interested in,
what I'm so intrigued on, is theshame piece.
Because damn, what a big uglyass emotion, right?
What an ugly feeling.
Nobody likes the feeling ofshame.
Nobody wants to talk aboutshame.
Because it sucks.
And I think you automaticallyassume, and you've said this a
couple times, like, what's wrongwith me?
(17:24):
And I know, for me, my zone ofdiscomfort is asking for help.
So when you couple that zone ofdiscomfort with All of the shame
that I felt from not being agood enough executive, not being
a good enough mom or wife orwhatever.
And it's like, well good, I canjust numb those feelings up real
quick.
(17:44):
I know how to do that real quickand then I'll just go about my
day, right?
And nobody ever knew and I nevertold anybody because, again, the
shame.
So how do you, or how did you,start to reconcile the shame and
process it and move forward withit?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (18:02):
Yeah.
The shame is, is something thatI didn't know how to break for a
really long time.
And that's because, you know,when we suffer with shame, we
don't know who is safe.
And I always tell people that inorder to heal from shame, you
have to do, you have to do a fewthings, right?
(18:23):
My number one, you know, thingthat I teach people is seek God,
lean hard into your faith,because that was my, my path.
and so I just share with peoplewhat I did, right?
Number two, though, is to alwaysfind it.
somebody, a trusted confidant orcoach or somebody that you can
talk to.
And this doesn't mean to gorunning and talk to all your
(18:45):
friends and family because Ihave done that.
And when you receive remarks orcomments back that you didn't
think you were going to receive,it can really make you go back
inside and come completely closeup again.
I remember telling, talking tomy own dad and he was like, I
mean, you weren't really in anabused relationship, were you?
(19:05):
Like, it wasn't really that bad,was it?
I was like, oh, wow.
If you talk to the wrong people.
Yeah.
Then it's, and, and then, youknow, you tell people I have, a
drinking problem, or I have adrug problem, or I have a sex
problem.
You know, I had a really bigproblem with promiscuity.
And I just started talking aboutthat recently because that was
really hard for me to open upabout.
(19:25):
Why?
Because what if somebody elsehears me talking about it, maybe
a guy that I like, like, is thisgonna affect me in some way?
And you know what?
It might.
But when I tell people, it'slike, you have to talk about it,
okay?
You seek a confidant or a coach,you do the work.
That you have to do, which isreally uncomfortable, but you
(19:47):
have to do it.
And I'm just talking abouttaking baby steps, like little
baby steps every day.
I remember when I was leaving myabuser and I just felt like, you
know, I was going to take mylife.
I just remember re just it waslike hard to walk.
Like I felt like it was likephysical therapy, but it was
mental.
And I just remember just goingoutside and just walking a
(20:09):
little bit.
Just every day.
But doing the work is it'smental and it's physical.
You got to take care of yourbody, you know but then the next
step is making sure that youhave a place to share in a seat
in a safe community that is nonjudgmental and this is where the
majority of your healing isgonna happen and this is what I
(20:32):
do with my community becausewhen you're able to share And
this, you could share manydifferent ways.
Okay.
There is speaking, but I didn'tstart off as a speaker.
I promise you like that.
I did not.
Okay.
I
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (20:44):
We don't go from rock bottom to
stages in front of 10, 000people, y'all.
That's not how it works.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-20 (20:51):
You start off little by little baby
steps.
You do the work you share.
And then you're going to goback.
I call it the shame dance.
You're going to share it.
You're going to be like, Oh,you're going to delete it.
And then you're like, I'm not, Idon't want to say that anymore.
I don't want people to know.
Right.
You like kind of go back andforth with getting comfortable
with it, but where you learn toheal from the shame is that you
bring it into the light becausewhen you bring your shame into
(21:13):
the light.
It loses its power over youbecause shame holds its power in
the darkness, and in yourisolation, and in your silence.
So, and then after that, youstart creating your own
community to continue yourhealing and your sharing and
stuff.
it's a, it's a process.
It's just you have to addressit.
(21:34):
You have to feel it to heal it.
You have to stop running.
You have to stop running fromit.
And that was the main thing forme.
I wanted to stop flipping housesand building houses.
Because I wanted to be presentin what was going on.
And I'm not saying go and quityour job or anything like that
right away.
But I knew that if I stayed inmy career, I wouldn't have any
(21:58):
time because I was working somany hours and I am a full time
single mom.
And as long as we can just keepmaking that money and keep
running, maybe it won't catch upto us, but one day it catches up
and then you have a meltdown.
And then,
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (22:11):
A little men tee bee, as some of
my friends like to call it.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (22:16):
yeah, so,
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (22:18):
Oh my gosh, all of it resonates with
me so much because it's verysimilar to my story.
Also totally different.
You know, it's one of thosethings, it's like, it's, it's
the, the feelings of the shameand the emotion and, and
starting over and, and having tobring all of those things that
you believe are, are gross andbad about you into the light and
(22:39):
start talking about them, and Iwill absolutely tell you that
Community with other people likeme is absolutely what helped me
in the beginning.
It is absolutely, I remember Ihad a pen pal y'all, like an
email pen pal.
I can't remember how we gotconnected, but we would check in
with each other.
(22:59):
I've never even seen this personin real life.
We would check in with eachother every week to see how we
were doing.
Right.
And it was like, it was through,um, a sober community, you know,
but every week me and this womanwould just communicate by email.
And she was the only person atthat time that I felt like I
could actually open up and talkto about what I was struggling
with.
And it was because she was doingthe same thing, you know?
(23:21):
And so when you can
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (23:22):
Yeah.
Yeah.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (23:24):
about these things, like, and that's
why I love to talk about them onthe podcast, because if I had
had this type of conversation.
Way back then, like, how wouldit have been different?
I don't know, you know?
And it's not just to be aboutsobriety or any of those things.
I mean, imposter syndrome, womendon't talk about that.
(23:44):
Women don't step up to the plateand say, yeah, my confidence is
shit and that's why I didn't askfor a raise.
All of these things that we arescared to speak into existence.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-202 (23:55):
Mm hmm.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (23:56):
We have to because then we find the
community, we learn we're notalone, and then you can start to
put the pieces together.
But I have another question foryou, but one thing I really
wanted to highlight is like,you've had a couple big roller
coaster up and down moments.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2 (24:11):
I've had a
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (24:11):
And I, I love this because I, I feel
like we have so many people thatthey think it's like, oh, well,
you hit rock bottom and thenit's all up and up and up and up
from here.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-20 (24:22):
Um,
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (24:26):
on the rollercoaster ride.
We are going up, we are goingdown, sideways, and loop de
loop.
And so, I love that that'shighlighted, but one thing I
want to ask you, and, and thiskind of brings it, like, into
motherhood and all of that, but,Where did you find the courage,
because these are big,courageous steps you took.
Like, I know you talk about babysteps, but like, some of these
(24:47):
are some big, courageous steps.
How did you take these big,courageous steps, navigate
healing, while also being themom you want to be?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (25:00):
okay.
So yes, they do seem like big,huge steps and they are, but
they were, but I was alwaystaking my baby steps.
And I always talk about, focuson your F priorities.
Uh, F words are the best wordsis what I always say.
And as a single woman, singlemom, I say focus on, and what I
always focused on every singletime I hit rock bottom was my
(25:23):
faith first.
Family second, uh, friends,meaning I got rid of a lot of
friends that were bringing medown.
And I, and I kept the friendsthat wanted the best for me, but
in my life, I didn't have a lotof those because I was clearly
going in and out of some prettybad groups and doing some
things, you know, um, and thenmy fitness, which is physical
(25:45):
fitness and mental health, andthen my, um, finances.
So I was always focusing onthese.
Um, And what I tell the ladiesis don't focus on that other F
word.
What's it called?
It's called, um, fornicating.
That's right.
I used to say the other one.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (26:04):
I mean, that's where my head went,
but okay.
We're gonna keep it clean onthis podcast today.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2 (26:09):
try, I try to like, you know, yes, I
do say the bad words every nowand then.
I say them a lot when I'm notactually like, when I'm just
with my friends.
But
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (26:16):
Yep, yep.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-20 (26:18):
I'm trying, I'm trying.
But yeah, when you are focusingon the things that you need to
focus on.
Your life, and especially whenyou put your faith first and you
focus on God first.
And then you're focusing on yourfamily, which for me was my
daughter.
And then you're focusing on yourfitness because you're, you're
strengthening yourself and yourmental health.
(26:38):
You're reading positive selfhelp books.
You're reading Bible.
You're reading whatever, youknow, listening to things now.
To what you were saying earlier,when I was going through a lot
of my stuff, I didn't havesocial media when I was going
through the, the, the abusestuff and all that.
But that's what I was focusingon was those, those F
priorities.
And so that's how I was able togo out and literally pick up the
(27:03):
pieces of my life within ninemonths.
To buy my, buy a house for mydaughter, a car for myself and
my daughter, get my businessgoing again.
And the faith part was really,really important because nothing
was happening for nine months.
Things were happening, but youcouldn't see it happening.
And I had two fathers.
(27:24):
My stepfather and my father bothtelling me, go get a real job
with benefits.
You need to take care of yourkid.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
And I was like, no, I don't wantto go work for somebody else.
I want to rebuild my business.
Like, I know I can do this.
I know I can do this.
And it was just taking so longagain.
I could have quit.
I could have quit.
But like, I didn't want to quit.
(27:45):
And I had to believe that myfaith was going to help me
achieve the things that I wantedto do in my life as long as I
didn't quit.
And so that's always been mymotto.
Never quit.
Never give up, no matter howhard it gets.
Because if you quit, that meansyou're going to live in your
settled Life you're gonna livein misery.
(28:07):
You're gonna live with whatsociety says you should have But
if you rely on your faith andyou just keep going you get
smacked in the face So manytimes you get knocked down.
I mean my life is justcontinually just knockdowns,
right?
And I just kept getting back upAnd I was like, I'm not, I, what
(28:30):
else am I going to do?
I had a choice.
Am I going to go back to thestrip club?
I don't want to go back to thestrip club right now.
Like I'm getting this businessgoing and it's so hard.
And I'm like, you know, thewhole, the speaking, the books,
the marketing, the building,everything.
And I'm like, do I go back toflipping houses?
(28:53):
I mean, I could, but I don'twant to go back to flipping
houses.
Like this is.
my new passion and I'm gonna dowhatever I gotta do to make it
work because I believe and Godsays because of your faith it
will happen and so that's theway I live my life.
So when you say focus on yourpriorities,
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (29:13):
it makes me think about that quote
where it's like, choose yourhard, you know, like working out
every day is hard, but it's alsoreally hard to be unhappy with
how you look not confident inyour bathing suit with the pool
with your kids and feel likeshit.
So choose your hard, right?
Like, It's hard to go back tothe strip club and live that
life.
It's hard to start a real estatebusiness.
(29:35):
It's hard to be a single mom.
Like all of these things arehard, you know, but it's pick
your heart and it's aligningwith your happiness and what,
what fills your cup and all ofthose things.
So Candy, for anyone who islistening that maybe feels Lost,
feels broken, feels shame,right?
Maybe they feel like they'llnever escape their past.
(29:55):
What's one message that you wantthem to take away from your
story?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2025 (30:00):
I just hope that they can see that
your story is never done.
It's never done until you sayit's done and it might look like
you don't have any hope and itmight look like you have dug a
hole so deep that you're nevergoing to find your way out and
it might look like you don'thave any possible way.
To change your life around whatyou do you always have and you
(30:22):
can always change your life butyou're gonna have to work for it
and yes, I say you have to leanhard into your faith because
Here's the thing, especially ifyou're suffering with shame and
more specifically, toxic shame.
Toxic shame puts you in a placethat you're so isolated and
(30:43):
lonely and you're silenced.
And I know that you've tried.
Everything you can to change it.
And so did I, and I was at thatbreaking point of considering
taking my life.
I had to reach out to a higherpower because I had tried to do
it on my own.
And I couldn't do it on my own.
(31:04):
And so I needed a higher power.
And so I said, okay, God, helpme, just help me.
If you're out there, help me.
I mean, that's all I, I used topray that all the time, help me.
And so that's.
That's the one thing I would sayis that just don't give up.
Like, don't ever give up.
Don't ever give up.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (31:24):
And then my last favorite question,
I always say this is lastquestion, best question, but if
you could go back in time, youknow, to the Candy Rose who is
being bullied and starting down,you know, the path that I think
everybody always wishes they hadnever stepped down.
But if we hadn't done that, wewouldn't be here today.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2025 (31:44):
I know.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (31:45):
But what piece of advice would you
give her today?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2 (31:48):
Hmm.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (31:50):
And this, I mean, think about it,
like, this is almost around yourdaughter's age, right?
So, like,
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (31:54):
she's
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (31:55):
Ha! Of what?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (31:56):
she's 14.
I was, I was bullied the firstyear, first and second year in
high school.
And what I've told her for avery long time is that bullies
bully you because they have lowself esteem.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know abusers abuse youbecause they have low self
esteem.
And also because There'ssomething going on at home that
(32:17):
you don't know about.
Now I'm not condoning thatthey're hurting you because
they're hurting, but hurtingpeople hurt people and people
who want something that youhave.
Or are jealous of you are goingto be mean to you and I didn't
understand this I was innocent.
I was this innocent little girl.
(32:38):
I had not had sex.
I wasn't really interested inboys yet.
I was a late bloomer.
Yeah.
And so I always talk to herabout that and I'm like, and if
they're, if they're mean to you,you have to stand up for
yourself.
Okay?
You have to stand up foryourself.
That, you know, if you're goingto stand up for yourself and
stand up for yourself, but ifnot just walk away like that's
probably the best thing to doand don't show any emotions, you
(33:02):
know, walk away, don't show anyemotions.
Right?
And so you just have tounderstand that, you know,
people are either hating orbullying or abusing because
There's something that happenedin their past, but also because
they're insecure.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (33:17):
And then it has nothing to do with
you.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (33:18):
Yeah.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (33:19):
At that age, it's very hard.
Even at this age, at my age, youknow, I'm turning 40 next month.
It's like very hard to sometimeswrap my brain around.
Well, your book, it's on Amazon,it's wherever books are sold.
Where can people get in touchwith you if they want to connect
or learn more about you?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (33:36):
Yeah, so they can go to candyrose.
com.
It's C A N D I.
Uh, roseliketheflower.
com.
And they can find out all of theinformation of my communities,
if they want to join thosecommunities.
I do also have like a freemasterclass and I'm usually
doing a training.
I'm always trying to givesomething of value to my
(33:57):
community to help them to kindof just to get to know me more.
So just go to the website candywith an I rose.
com and you can see everythingthat's going on there and get in
touch with me and social mediaand stuff too.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131 (34:10):
Amazing.
I'm going to link everything inthe show notes, y'all.
It is a must read.
So grab it today.
Candy, thank you so much.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (34:18):
Thank you
Some stories aren't just meant to be
(00:02):
told.
They are meant to set peoplefree.
And today's guest, Candy Rose,has built her career doing just
that.
But here's what she knows to betrue.
When people hear their truthreflected in someone else's
story.
They finally feel the permissionto break their silence and step
(00:22):
into their power.
And dang, y'all, do I know thatto be true.
But Candy helps people confrontwhat they've been running from,
reclaim their voice, and takereal tangible steps forward.
If you ever felt like nobodyunderstands you, which, hello,
me, this episode is for you.
Well, welcome to the glassceiling and sticky floor
(00:42):
podcast.
The show that's here to empoweryou to break free from limiting
beliefs, ditch toxic behaviors,and unlock the infinite
possibilities waiting for you.
This is your time to live yourbest life unapologetically I'm
Erica Rooney, your host andbiggest cheerleader on a mission
to get more women into positionsof power and keep them there.
(01:05):
Where they belong.
If you're ready to shatterceilings, crush self-doubt and
build a career in lifeoverflowing with growth and
abundance.
You're in the right place.
Here's the deal.
We talk about the hard stuffhere.
Imposter syndrome,perfectionism, fear, burnout,
you name it.
It's raw.
It's honest.
And it's exactly what you needto level up.
(01:25):
So grab a seat, pop it in here,bud.
And let's dive in.
So let's get into it.
Without any further ado, CandyRose, welcome to the show.
How are you?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (01:37):
Thank you.
I am doing great.
So excited we finally got thisgoing.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (01:41):
I know, it's gonna be so good, but
I, from the moment I saw yourbook, which, spoiler alert
everybody, she is an author,she's got this amazing book
called Naked, which, don'tworry, she got her clothes on,
but we are going to talk aboutit, and I knew I had to have you
on this show because I want tocall you like this shame expert,
(02:02):
right, like you know your stuff,but before I give away too much.
Tell me all about who is KandiRose and what got us to this
point.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-202 (02:11):
Oh my gosh, that's such a long
story.
I had a good childhood growingup.
Everything was great.
You know, when I was in highschool, that's when things
started taking a turn for me.
I was bullied for two years.
And, um, after that, you know, Iwas just this hurting teen.
I was running away from family,God.
sports friends.
And I ended up, you know, goingto another school.
(02:35):
I started skipping school.
I started drinking drugs, allthe stuff.
By the time I'm 19, I'm arrestedby the D.
A.
You know, I ended up dating drugdealers.
I mean, I was just going down avery, very fast spiral
clusterfuck out of control,right?
(02:56):
I'm just this hurting teenrunning away.
And now I'm just getting in somuch trouble.
I don't know how to fix it.
And I'm, I'm just spiraling andI'm drinking more and I'm doing
more drugs and I'm living thelifestyle of, you know, the
raves and the all night clubsand I'm dating guys.
I shouldn't be dating.
And then I start strippingbecause I think, Hey, I'm dating
(03:17):
drug dealers.
We're doing drugs.
These strippers are making a lotof money.
My life isn't looking very goodright now.
Anyways, I mean, I was justarrested by the feds.
I now dropped out of college.
I really didn't see any hope formy life.
And so that's kind of thebeginning of how it happened for
me.
After that, you know, it justcontinued to spiral and to, you
(03:39):
know, I got into an abusiverelationship with a man that I
loved with all of my heart.
And Anybody that's been in anabusive relationship knows
that's just when you don't know,you don't know the first time
you're in one, you know, youjust think they're having a bad
day, you know, this is going toget better.
And you, you know, pray for themto get better.
(04:01):
But at this time, um, everythingwas just kind of out of control.
And I ended up.
You know, staying with him forabout four years, um, and, and
things just kind of continued tospiral, right?
When I finally got the courageto leave him, my home was in pre
foreclosure, I'm now like, whatam I going to do with my life?
(04:23):
And I'm thinking, you know, allthe words.
That he had ever called me, youknow, that telling me that I was
just a dumb bitch and a dirtyused up stripper.
Nobody's ever going to want agirl like me.
I was like, you know, maybe he'sright, you know, I don't have
anything to show for myself.
Here I am, my home's in preforeclosure, I'm a college
dropout, you know, with acriminal background, who had
been a stripper.
(04:44):
I'm not very educated, I've gotnothing, I've got no money, you
know, I, I, I, I, I'm obviouslydating people that I deserve to
be dating.
Cause this is.
How I was thinking.
I don't deserve anybody betterthan this, right?
And that was at my lowest pointwhere I contemplated suicide.
And I thought, you know, thereis this hole that I have dug so
(05:08):
deep.
And I didn't see any way out.
And I was so ashamed of theperson that I had become.
I had let myself down.
I let my family down.
I let God down.
And I thought, you know, itmight just be easier because of
the pain I was feeling if Icould just check out.
Luckily that didn't happen, andI'm still here.
(05:29):
And that was the beginning of merebuilding my life.
Rebuilding it from basicallynothing to everything that I
have now.
So that's sort of the beginningof my life.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (05:43):
That is, but like, tell me like where
you are now.
What are you doing now?
Because you've got a 14 year olddaughter, right?
A thriving career.
So we already know becauseyou're here, you're on the other
side of it.
Where are we now?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (05:55):
Okay.
So, um, basically after that, Iended up getting my real estate
investing career started.
Um, this was super huge for mebecause I didn't want to go back
to the club.
Um, and I got that careerstarted within 45 days.
I had put a house on a contract.
I flipped it.
I had made a whole selfie of 7,000.
I saved my home from foreclosureand I never went back to the
(06:18):
club.
And this was the beginning.
Yes, of rebuilding my selfworth.
I knew at the time that I had tofind a career.
Where I could do without acollege degree.
And so I went to work trying tofigure out what I could do
entrepreneurial wise.
Um, and then throughout all ofthat, this is the way I see it.
(06:40):
It's kind of a difficult story.
I, um, ended up meeting anotherguy and, um, I ended up kind of
rebounding cause I wasn't overmy ex.
I got pregnant and when she wasone, I called the wedding off.
Now, during this time of being,becoming a successful real
(07:02):
estate investor, because at thetime I was flipping houses for
about a year and a half.
And then I met this guy and thenI rebounded with him.
He had a lot of money.
So I kind of quit working and hewas like, let me take care of
you.
And yada, yada, yada, gotpregnant when she was one and a
half, I called the wedding off.
And then we found ourself.
(07:23):
He had kicked us out, taken ouronly car, and even though he had
three, kept all my clothes.
And then my parents took us in,um, we would have been homeless
if it weren't for them taking usin.
And so then again, it was like,my, my life just hit, hits rock
bottoms.
A lot of times that's why I haveto go through it so you can kind
of see where I'm at.
(07:45):
But I was home and I was like,why God, why me again?
And then I got up, decided, Hey,I'm going to start rebuilding my
life again.
I rebuilt my business for asecond time and from the outside
looking in for about ninemonths, which nothing was
happening from the outsidelooking in, everybody was
looking at me like, what are youdoing with your life?
(08:05):
Like you need to get up, youneed to get a job.
And I'm like, I I'm trying toget my business going, you know?
And within nine months, I putthis other house under contract.
I flipped it.
I had made so much money.
That now I was able to go outand start my career all over
again.
Um, I ended up being able to buyus a car.
Uh, we didn't have a car forlike a year.
(08:27):
So that was a whole nother, youknow, getting up and starting
over.
And that was really exciting.
And within a year, it had gottenus a house, a car, got my
business started again.
And things were looking up.
So, fast forward a few yearslater, I am, I have now flipped
hundreds of homes.
(08:47):
And now I was building multimillion dollar homes.
Again, I am nobody special.
You know, I'm just somebody thatsaw a challenge, wanted to try
it.
I learned a trade.
I learned how to do things.
And then I did it even though itwas really, really scary to get
involved in it.
And then I became good at it,right?
(09:08):
And so I had just sold thebiggest project in my career.
It was this 10, 000 square foothome that I had built in this
really nice neighborhood.
Um, it was 2.
6 million.
Now at the time, this is beforethis crazy.
erica_1_01-23-2025_13121 (09:22):
Right, in today's money, that's like a
10.
6 million dollar home.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01- (09:27):
Exactly.
So at the time, I mean, it wasgorgeous and I had just sold it
and I need so much money and I'mmiserable and I'm like, what is
going on?
I had also built my daughter andI a brand new home during this
time.
I mean, I am a female dominatinga male dominated industry and
I'm like, what, why am I sounhappy?
(09:50):
Why am I not like, and I feltguilty.
I felt like I should beappreciative and I was.
I was very appreciative and I,um, had to take a step back and
I realized.
I'm burnt out.
I, I'm, I've worked so much.
I've become this perfectionistand this workaholic because I'm
throwing myself into my workbecause I'm trying to get over
(10:13):
all of the pain from my, youknow, my exes from the abuse.
from, you know, running from,you know, being abandoned to
raise a child on my own.
I'm trying to prove something topeople.
I'm trying to prove to myparents.
I'm not a total fuck up.
I'm trying to prove to myself Icould take care of my kid
without any help from thefather.
You know, it was just so muchstress.
(10:35):
And I had gotten to this placeand I was just like, What's
wrong with me?
And I realized that I was justtired of running and I didn't
want to run anymore.
And I was like, I have to go.
And as whatever this soundslike, I felt like, you know, I
just needed to run away and findmyself and heal.
And so I did, I ended up, um,moving my daughter and I to
(10:59):
Spain in the middle of it all.
I just said.
I'm not doing this anymore.
I'm not working a hundred hourweeks or 80 hour weeks or
whatever.
I was working and raising achild on my own.
I was like, I want to, you know,be part of my child's life.
I mean, she's nine at this timeand I want to be happy and the
money that I was making, youknow, I made a lot of money in
(11:21):
the strip club and I made a lotof money flipping houses, but
like both of them, I ran awayfrom those careers because I
wasn't happy.
With the money, like, and I ranaway from my ex who was a
multimillionaire because Iwasn't happy in that
relationship.
And like, I was just searchingfor my happiness and I found it.
(11:43):
I found it completely broke andbroken with my child and
starting my life all over again.
Like, you know what I mean?
That was the beginning was whenI left him, I, I started to
rebuild my happiness.
And as I'm kind of going back,but as I'm building my child and
I's, future, I loved being areal estate investor, but then
(12:07):
it got to the point where it wasjust all about work, more hours,
more work, more hours, morework.
And I had done it.
I had already proven to myselfthat I could be successful here,
but then it got to the pointwhere it was like.
This isn't my passion anymore.
This isn't my calling anymore.
This was my vehicle to get outof rock bottom and to be able to
(12:29):
take care of my kid.
And I, I, I feel blessed.
And I said, thank you to God somuch.
But I was like, now I feel likeI'm being called to do something
else and it was scary because itwas like, walk away from this
career where I'm making so muchmoney and just go find yourself.
(12:50):
heal and write this book andtake care of your child.
And I didn't know at the time, Ijust knew I just needed to get
it out.
And so I started to write and Imean, this.
process was so therapeutic.
I, I can't tell you how manytimes I cried writing this book
(13:13):
and it was just like, it was away to just release everything
inside of me that I had kepthidden from everybody.
Like that I just have kept.
Hidden from society and fromfrom my parents and from my
friends.
I mean, no, nobody really knewabout what was going on in my
(13:34):
life, you know, and I started towrite.
And it, it freed me.
And that was kind of thebeginning of my speaking career.
It, it helped me to get mythoughts in order, you know, and
it helped me to understand mystory even more.
And it, it, it was verytherapeutic in the fact that it
(13:56):
brought up a lot of repressedMemories.
And that's why I was crying somuch because I had forgotten
about the pain of being bullied.
Oh my gosh, when I startedtalking about that, I would just
like cry like I was still inhigh school, like because of the
pain, right?
And when I'm writing about theabuse, I'm, I'm bawling.
(14:19):
And I'm, when I'm writing about,you know, my, my, my substance
abuse problem, I'm I'm likecrying because I remember, you
know, being on the bathroomfloor, like throwing up, like
profusely thinking I'm going toOD, am I going to ever wake up
(14:39):
and just crying out to God, Godhelp me, God help me, why can't
I stop this, why can't Iremember, I hate this feeling,
like what's wrong with me, youknow, you're sitting there like
I'm never going to, Get overthis.
And then you start, it comesback when you start writing it.
And so it just was, it was justan amazing experience.
(15:02):
I'm, to walk away fromeverything, to follow a calling,
to follow something in my heart.
Cause I felt like God was goingto use.
me somehow to go out there andshow people that it's not over.
It's not over.
It's never over.
so that was kind of the thingthat led me into my speaking
career.
I, um, I wrote the book.
(15:23):
People started asking me to comespeak on stages, and I was
trying to sell at the point atthat time, real estate investing
courses.
And I would have all thesepeople lined up, and they didn't
want to buy real estateinvesting courses they wanted to
buy.
They wanted to No.
How did I overcome, you know,all the things in my past and,
and that was a big, um, ahamoment was like, okay, I'm going
(15:48):
to change direction here.
I'm going to, instead of goingand sharing my story, which I do
in real estate investing isalways a big vehicle.
I'm going to now start to targetit towards people so that I
could show them how to step outof their shame and their pain
from their past.
and show them that they're notalone and that there's always
(16:13):
hope and that there's You know,it does not matter where you
come from.
It doesn't matter if you havemoney, what color you are, what
sex you are, what, if you haveany education, there is always a
way to make it work if youreally want to make it work.
Because there's so manyresources now.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (16:35):
Well, there's so much stuff and I mean
I talk a lot about infinitepossibilities and I think people
Shut that down sometimes andthey tune it out because they
think, no, that could not be forme, right?
Like, I could never do that.
For example, I'm sure there's aton of people who are listening
right now that are like, Icouldn't just pick up and move
to Spain.
That must be nice.
And it's like, no, no, no.
(16:55):
That's not what we're talkingabout here, right?
Because let's, let's just listenback to her whole story and tell
me again that that must be nice,right?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (17:03):
Yeah.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (17:04):
But what I'm really interested in,
what I'm so intrigued on, is theshame piece.
Because damn, what a big uglyass emotion, right?
What an ugly feeling.
Nobody likes the feeling ofshame.
Nobody wants to talk aboutshame.
Because it sucks.
And I think you automaticallyassume, and you've said this a
couple times, like, what's wrongwith me?
(17:24):
And I know, for me, my zone ofdiscomfort is asking for help.
So when you couple that zone ofdiscomfort with All of the shame
that I felt from not being agood enough executive, not being
a good enough mom or wife orwhatever.
And it's like, well good, I canjust numb those feelings up real
quick.
(17:44):
I know how to do that real quickand then I'll just go about my
day, right?
And nobody ever knew and I nevertold anybody because, again, the
shame.
So how do you, or how did you,start to reconcile the shame and
process it and move forward withit?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (18:02):
Yeah.
The shame is, is something thatI didn't know how to break for a
really long time.
And that's because, you know,when we suffer with shame, we
don't know who is safe.
And I always tell people that inorder to heal from shame, you
have to do, you have to do a fewthings, right?
(18:23):
My number one, you know, thingthat I teach people is seek God,
lean hard into your faith,because that was my, my path.
and so I just share with peoplewhat I did, right?
Number two, though, is to alwaysfind it.
somebody, a trusted confidant orcoach or somebody that you can
talk to.
And this doesn't mean to gorunning and talk to all your
(18:45):
friends and family because Ihave done that.
And when you receive remarks orcomments back that you didn't
think you were going to receive,it can really make you go back
inside and come completely closeup again.
I remember telling, talking tomy own dad and he was like, I
mean, you weren't really in anabused relationship, were you?
(19:05):
Like, it wasn't really that bad,was it?
I was like, oh, wow.
If you talk to the wrong people.
Yeah.
Then it's, and, and then, youknow, you tell people I have, a
drinking problem, or I have adrug problem, or I have a sex
problem.
You know, I had a really bigproblem with promiscuity.
And I just started talking aboutthat recently because that was
really hard for me to open upabout.
(19:25):
Why?
Because what if somebody elsehears me talking about it, maybe
a guy that I like, like, is thisgonna affect me in some way?
And you know what?
It might.
But when I tell people, it'slike, you have to talk about it,
okay?
You seek a confidant or a coach,you do the work.
That you have to do, which isreally uncomfortable, but you
(19:47):
have to do it.
And I'm just talking abouttaking baby steps, like little
baby steps every day.
I remember when I was leaving myabuser and I just felt like, you
know, I was going to take mylife.
I just remember re just it waslike hard to walk.
Like I felt like it was likephysical therapy, but it was
mental.
And I just remember just goingoutside and just walking a
(20:09):
little bit.
Just every day.
But doing the work is it'smental and it's physical.
You got to take care of yourbody, you know but then the next
step is making sure that youhave a place to share in a seat
in a safe community that is nonjudgmental and this is where the
majority of your healing isgonna happen and this is what I
(20:32):
do with my community becausewhen you're able to share And
this, you could share manydifferent ways.
Okay.
There is speaking, but I didn'tstart off as a speaker.
I promise you like that.
I did not.
Okay.
I
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (20:44):
We don't go from rock bottom to
stages in front of 10, 000people, y'all.
That's not how it works.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-20 (20:51):
You start off little by little baby
steps.
You do the work you share.
And then you're going to goback.
I call it the shame dance.
You're going to share it.
You're going to be like, Oh,you're going to delete it.
And then you're like, I'm not, Idon't want to say that anymore.
I don't want people to know.
Right.
You like kind of go back andforth with getting comfortable
with it, but where you learn toheal from the shame is that you
bring it into the light becausewhen you bring your shame into
(21:13):
the light.
It loses its power over youbecause shame holds its power in
the darkness, and in yourisolation, and in your silence.
So, and then after that, youstart creating your own
community to continue yourhealing and your sharing and
stuff.
it's a, it's a process.
It's just you have to addressit.
(21:34):
You have to feel it to heal it.
You have to stop running.
You have to stop running fromit.
And that was the main thing forme.
I wanted to stop flipping housesand building houses.
Because I wanted to be presentin what was going on.
And I'm not saying go and quityour job or anything like that
right away.
But I knew that if I stayed inmy career, I wouldn't have any
(21:58):
time because I was working somany hours and I am a full time
single mom.
And as long as we can just keepmaking that money and keep
running, maybe it won't catch upto us, but one day it catches up
and then you have a meltdown.
And then,
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (22:11):
A little men tee bee, as some of
my friends like to call it.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (22:16):
yeah, so,
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (22:18):
Oh my gosh, all of it resonates with
me so much because it's verysimilar to my story.
Also totally different.
You know, it's one of thosethings, it's like, it's, it's
the, the feelings of the shameand the emotion and, and
starting over and, and having tobring all of those things that
you believe are, are gross andbad about you into the light and
(22:39):
start talking about them, and Iwill absolutely tell you that
Community with other people likeme is absolutely what helped me
in the beginning.
It is absolutely, I remember Ihad a pen pal y'all, like an
email pen pal.
I can't remember how we gotconnected, but we would check in
with each other.
(22:59):
I've never even seen this personin real life.
We would check in with eachother every week to see how we
were doing.
Right.
And it was like, it was through,um, a sober community, you know,
but every week me and this womanwould just communicate by email.
And she was the only person atthat time that I felt like I
could actually open up and talkto about what I was struggling
with.
And it was because she was doingthe same thing, you know?
(23:21):
And so when you can
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (23:22):
Yeah.
Yeah.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (23:24):
about these things, like, and that's
why I love to talk about them onthe podcast, because if I had
had this type of conversation.
Way back then, like, how wouldit have been different?
I don't know, you know?
And it's not just to be aboutsobriety or any of those things.
I mean, imposter syndrome, womendon't talk about that.
(23:44):
Women don't step up to the plateand say, yeah, my confidence is
shit and that's why I didn't askfor a raise.
All of these things that we arescared to speak into existence.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-202 (23:55):
Mm hmm.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (23:56):
We have to because then we find the
community, we learn we're notalone, and then you can start to
put the pieces together.
But I have another question foryou, but one thing I really
wanted to highlight is like,you've had a couple big roller
coaster up and down moments.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2 (24:11):
I've had a
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (24:11):
And I, I love this because I, I feel
like we have so many people thatthey think it's like, oh, well,
you hit rock bottom and thenit's all up and up and up and up
from here.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-20 (24:22):
Um,
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (24:26):
on the rollercoaster ride.
We are going up, we are goingdown, sideways, and loop de
loop.
And so, I love that that'shighlighted, but one thing I
want to ask you, and, and thiskind of brings it, like, into
motherhood and all of that, but,Where did you find the courage,
because these are big,courageous steps you took.
Like, I know you talk about babysteps, but like, some of these
(24:47):
are some big, courageous steps.
How did you take these big,courageous steps, navigate
healing, while also being themom you want to be?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (25:00):
okay.
So yes, they do seem like big,huge steps and they are, but
they were, but I was alwaystaking my baby steps.
And I always talk about, focuson your F priorities.
Uh, F words are the best wordsis what I always say.
And as a single woman, singlemom, I say focus on, and what I
always focused on every singletime I hit rock bottom was my
(25:23):
faith first.
Family second, uh, friends,meaning I got rid of a lot of
friends that were bringing medown.
And I, and I kept the friendsthat wanted the best for me, but
in my life, I didn't have a lotof those because I was clearly
going in and out of some prettybad groups and doing some
things, you know, um, and thenmy fitness, which is physical
(25:45):
fitness and mental health, andthen my, um, finances.
So I was always focusing onthese.
Um, And what I tell the ladiesis don't focus on that other F
word.
What's it called?
It's called, um, fornicating.
That's right.
I used to say the other one.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (26:04):
I mean, that's where my head went,
but okay.
We're gonna keep it clean onthis podcast today.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2 (26:09):
try, I try to like, you know, yes, I
do say the bad words every nowand then.
I say them a lot when I'm notactually like, when I'm just
with my friends.
But
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (26:16):
Yep, yep.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-20 (26:18):
I'm trying, I'm trying.
But yeah, when you are focusingon the things that you need to
focus on.
Your life, and especially whenyou put your faith first and you
focus on God first.
And then you're focusing on yourfamily, which for me was my
daughter.
And then you're focusing on yourfitness because you're, you're
strengthening yourself and yourmental health.
(26:38):
You're reading positive selfhelp books.
You're reading Bible.
You're reading whatever, youknow, listening to things now.
To what you were saying earlier,when I was going through a lot
of my stuff, I didn't havesocial media when I was going
through the, the, the abusestuff and all that.
But that's what I was focusingon was those, those F
priorities.
And so that's how I was able togo out and literally pick up the
(27:03):
pieces of my life within ninemonths.
To buy my, buy a house for mydaughter, a car for myself and
my daughter, get my businessgoing again.
And the faith part was really,really important because nothing
was happening for nine months.
Things were happening, but youcouldn't see it happening.
And I had two fathers.
(27:24):
My stepfather and my father bothtelling me, go get a real job
with benefits.
You need to take care of yourkid.
Da, da, da, da, da, da, da, da.
And I was like, no, I don't wantto go work for somebody else.
I want to rebuild my business.
Like, I know I can do this.
I know I can do this.
And it was just taking so longagain.
I could have quit.
I could have quit.
But like, I didn't want to quit.
(27:45):
And I had to believe that myfaith was going to help me
achieve the things that I wantedto do in my life as long as I
didn't quit.
And so that's always been mymotto.
Never quit.
Never give up, no matter howhard it gets.
Because if you quit, that meansyou're going to live in your
settled Life you're gonna livein misery.
(28:07):
You're gonna live with whatsociety says you should have But
if you rely on your faith andyou just keep going you get
smacked in the face So manytimes you get knocked down.
I mean my life is justcontinually just knockdowns,
right?
And I just kept getting back upAnd I was like, I'm not, I, what
(28:30):
else am I going to do?
I had a choice.
Am I going to go back to thestrip club?
I don't want to go back to thestrip club right now.
Like I'm getting this businessgoing and it's so hard.
And I'm like, you know, thewhole, the speaking, the books,
the marketing, the building,everything.
And I'm like, do I go back toflipping houses?
(28:53):
I mean, I could, but I don'twant to go back to flipping
houses.
Like this is.
my new passion and I'm gonna dowhatever I gotta do to make it
work because I believe and Godsays because of your faith it
will happen and so that's theway I live my life.
So when you say focus on yourpriorities,
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (29:13):
it makes me think about that quote
where it's like, choose yourhard, you know, like working out
every day is hard, but it's alsoreally hard to be unhappy with
how you look not confident inyour bathing suit with the pool
with your kids and feel likeshit.
So choose your hard, right?
Like, It's hard to go back tothe strip club and live that
life.
It's hard to start a real estatebusiness.
(29:35):
It's hard to be a single mom.
Like all of these things arehard, you know, but it's pick
your heart and it's aligningwith your happiness and what,
what fills your cup and all ofthose things.
So Candy, for anyone who islistening that maybe feels Lost,
feels broken, feels shame,right?
Maybe they feel like they'llnever escape their past.
(29:55):
What's one message that you wantthem to take away from your
story?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2025 (30:00):
I just hope that they can see that
your story is never done.
It's never done until you sayit's done and it might look like
you don't have any hope and itmight look like you have dug a
hole so deep that you're nevergoing to find your way out and
it might look like you don'thave any possible way.
To change your life around whatyou do you always have and you
(30:22):
can always change your life butyou're gonna have to work for it
and yes, I say you have to leanhard into your faith because
Here's the thing, especially ifyou're suffering with shame and
more specifically, toxic shame.
Toxic shame puts you in a placethat you're so isolated and
(30:43):
lonely and you're silenced.
And I know that you've tried.
Everything you can to change it.
And so did I, and I was at thatbreaking point of considering
taking my life.
I had to reach out to a higherpower because I had tried to do
it on my own.
And I couldn't do it on my own.
(31:04):
And so I needed a higher power.
And so I said, okay, God, helpme, just help me.
If you're out there, help me.
I mean, that's all I, I used topray that all the time, help me.
And so that's.
That's the one thing I would sayis that just don't give up.
Like, don't ever give up.
Don't ever give up.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (31:24):
And then my last favorite question,
I always say this is lastquestion, best question, but if
you could go back in time, youknow, to the Candy Rose who is
being bullied and starting down,you know, the path that I think
everybody always wishes they hadnever stepped down.
But if we hadn't done that, wewouldn't be here today.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2025 (31:44):
I know.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (31:45):
But what piece of advice would you
give her today?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23-2 (31:48):
Hmm.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (31:50):
And this, I mean, think about it,
like, this is almost around yourdaughter's age, right?
So, like,
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (31:54):
she's
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (31:55):
Ha! Of what?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (31:56):
she's 14.
I was, I was bullied the firstyear, first and second year in
high school.
And what I've told her for avery long time is that bullies
bully you because they have lowself esteem.
I didn't know that.
I didn't know abusers abuse youbecause they have low self
esteem.
And also because There'ssomething going on at home that
(32:17):
you don't know about.
Now I'm not condoning thatthey're hurting you because
they're hurting, but hurtingpeople hurt people and people
who want something that youhave.
Or are jealous of you are goingto be mean to you and I didn't
understand this I was innocent.
I was this innocent little girl.
(32:38):
I had not had sex.
I wasn't really interested inboys yet.
I was a late bloomer.
Yeah.
And so I always talk to herabout that and I'm like, and if
they're, if they're mean to you,you have to stand up for
yourself.
Okay?
You have to stand up foryourself.
That, you know, if you're goingto stand up for yourself and
stand up for yourself, but ifnot just walk away like that's
probably the best thing to doand don't show any emotions, you
(33:02):
know, walk away, don't show anyemotions.
Right?
And so you just have tounderstand that, you know,
people are either hating orbullying or abusing because
There's something that happenedin their past, but also because
they're insecure.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (33:17):
And then it has nothing to do with
you.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (33:18):
Yeah.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131213 (33:19):
At that age, it's very hard.
Even at this age, at my age, youknow, I'm turning 40 next month.
It's like very hard to sometimeswrap my brain around.
Well, your book, it's on Amazon,it's wherever books are sold.
Where can people get in touchwith you if they want to connect
or learn more about you?
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (33:36):
Yeah, so they can go to candyrose.
com.
It's C A N D I.
Uh, roseliketheflower.
com.
And they can find out all of theinformation of my communities,
if they want to join thosecommunities.
I do also have like a freemasterclass and I'm usually
doing a training.
I'm always trying to givesomething of value to my
(33:57):
community to help them to kindof just to get to know me more.
So just go to the website candywith an I rose.
com and you can see everythingthat's going on there and get in
touch with me and social mediaand stuff too.
erica_1_01-23-2025_131 (34:10):
Amazing.
I'm going to link everything inthe show notes, y'all.
It is a must read.
So grab it today.
Candy, thank you so much.
squadcaster-9b1b_1_01-23- (34:18):
Thank you
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