May 25, 2020 • 26 mins
Episode 1 kicks off with the who, the what, and the why from co-hosts Jenine Killian and Jessi Woinarowicz. We discuss why we decided to say yes to a podcast and moving forward with Glaze and Grit, a forum with a mission of sharing the real story behind people's success journey. We will share our journey - the highs along with the messiness, and a preview of what’s to come.
In this episode, we embrace the imperfections of starting something new and the learning opportunities to continually do better. We smile, laugh, and cry with the stories in our own journeys and look forward to sharing our community's experiences and the vulnerability and authenticity that makes us who we are. And finally, we are grateful for you for being part of this amazing adventure.
Thanks for coming alongside us in the journey of Glaze and Grit.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
I think that's so interesting to name where you're
talking about, like thatbackstory, that you don't see
that.
Yeah.
And it's one thing to inspiresomeone else with your story.
I also think somethingpersonally for the podcast and
hopefully our guests is likesharing your story is kind of
holding yourself accountablethat you have a story and it's
reminding you, your story isyours.
(00:22):
I need to take a moment andremember, like, I have a pretty
darn good story because it's meand I love everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hi Jesse.
This is Janine and this isglazing grit.
We're on a journey to share thereal story.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Hey Jesse, how's it going?
It is, it is going good.
I'm out here in Idaho feelinglike I'm in my roots, which is
what, a better way to start outthese sharing our journey.
The fact that I'm in myhometown.
So that's kind of fun forepisode one.
How are you?
I'm doing good.
The kids are sleeping.
(01:14):
Cheers to that too.
Cool.
Well, you know, I think one ofmy favorite parts of glaze and
grit, what we've done so far isreally the initial moment that
you sent me that text when wewere in a meeting at work and
you were like, Janine, we needto start a podcast.
I think it'd be cool to share.
Like, why did you send thattext?
You know, what was going throughyour mind?
(01:35):
Do you mean?
And I worked together and westarted about two, three weeks
apart, pretty close together,three weeks.
I was so impressed with Jeanineright off the bat.
This woman is amazing.
And so I was listening to onthat book club discussion that
we had, I was listening to yourvoice.
And I was like, she is so great.
And for whatever reason, itpopped in my head.
(01:57):
Like we need to start a podcast.
And I was so excited that Iwanted to text you right.
When we were having thatdiscussion, like, no, I gotta
wait.
You were all on board.
And so it was so fun to talk toyou about that and figure out
what we wanted this to be like.
Yeah.
And I think what's interestingis, you know, I say the same
about you.
I would like watch you at work.
And I was like, so impressed.
(02:17):
And I was like, Oh, she's she'searly every day.
She always has the mostdelicious looking coffee.
She's in a great outfit.
And she has kiddos dropped offalready.
It's like that story too, of werecognize these amazing
qualities and other people thatwe see like day in, day out, we
see who they show up to at theoffice.
And we see this like puttogether person and we're like,
(02:38):
Whoa, how does she do this?
Like, I want to be that person.
And what's great is we hadn'tshared that with one another
before didn't wanting to do thispodcast.
Yeah.
We just sat in each other.
I feel like, yes.
And another thing too, that Iloved is back and forth on days
we would share texts, man,today.
It's just like, am I ever doingenough?
Like I always feel I can takethat next step.
(02:58):
And I, you know, never know.
And that was something else thatwe connected on forming.
Like when we were talking aboutwhat glaze and grit is going to
be about, it's like, we need toshare the real story.
Like we go to work every day andour homes and everyone on the
outside of us has thisperception and we are amazing
and we are awesome, but we dohave those hard days and we have
worked really hard to get towhere we're at.
(03:20):
And unfortunately we don't pulleach other aside enough and talk
about those stories orcongratulate someone for making
it through those moments thatallows them to be that rock star
mom or that rock star salesmenor whatever we're doing in life.
Being able to showcase reallythe story of a person and not
just a title.
I think to me, was so important.
(03:41):
You probably see me almost crylike 50 times.
Cause we get like so excitedabout like success stories.
But I think for so long, I neverrealized that there was a
backstory to anyone's success.
It just worked out for him.
And that can be really hard onyou internally when you're
trying to compare yourself toeveryone else.
I think that's so interesting toname where you're talking about,
like that backstory, that youdon't see that, you know,
(04:03):
juggling kiddos and dinners andwork, you know, I come to work
in the morning and I do my joband then, you know, I'm hustling
kids and we just make it work.
And that's why I'm so excitedto, to, to hear about the
backstories of people's stories.
Yeah.
And it's one thing to inspiresomeone else with your story.
(04:24):
Like I've sat through countlessspeakers, podcasts of myself.
Like I love listening to otherpeople and hearing how they got
to, but I also think somethingpersonally for the podcast and
hopefully our guests is likesharing your story is kind of
holding yourself accountablethat you have a story and it's
reminding you, your story isyours.
(04:46):
I need to take a moment andremember, like I have a pretty
darn good story because it's meand I love every bit of it.
The good, the bad I get intojust listening to you talk about
this.
And then I'm like, yes, that'sexactly what we're trying to
accomplish.
Yeah.
And I think just of all of theinspiring guest speakers that
we've reached out to so far tobring on really, really special
(05:08):
women and to hear theirresponses of just being so
excited to want to support andbe part of someone else's dream
or passion that like immediate,just like, yeah, of course I,
that's something that's really,really special too.
I think everywhere.
But our local area is supersupportive.
(05:28):
I think sharing those storiesare even more important because
that impact.
So it was actually funny when wewere writing the bios for the
podcast, I looked at myboyfriend, Josh, and I was like,
I don't really have any thinginteresting about me.
And he's like, well, you, yougrew up in a bar.
And so I would lead with thatand I was like, okay, yeah,
that's a little different thanthe typical growing up story.
(05:49):
But my dad worked extremely hardto provide for my mom, myself
and my five siblings.
And we were lucky enough to havea stay-at-home mom, but we also
had a family business.
So from a very young age, I wasan environment, a lot of support
of family, but also of drivingwork ethic, expectations of
(06:11):
being the best, doing the best.
And my parents held us to a veryhigh caliber as children.
And so moving forward a littlebit and the third grade things
changed and my parents decidedthat we were going to move.
So within 24 hours, my childhoodhome had sold and we were moving
out into the middle of nowherewith no home.
And our family business was agame bird farm.
(06:33):
So while we were raising thebirds on the farm, living in
tents and building the barn, wewere still going to school and
trying to be normal.
Kids have friends, but that madeit really difficult.
You know, it was very disruptivefor not only me as a child, but
everyone and moving forward.
What I learned from that move ofneeding to be adaptable, knowing
(06:55):
that with family, you can makeit through anything.
And lastly that your environmentdoesn't define where you're
going.
I could have accepted that.
That was it.
I was just going to exist now inthis tiny town, but I had a
calling within me that said Iwas meant for something bigger.
And my parents always supportedthat because of that, I was
(07:17):
always very hard on myself.
I always wanted to be the best,best academically, athletically,
just overall.
And so when my sister Reese, myhero decided to graduate high
school early, I knew that thatwas what I wanted to do as well.
Pushed through school.
Didn't have a lot of friends,but I had a goal.
And so I graduated early andmoved to Las Vegas where I got a
(07:39):
scholarship to attend universityof Nevada, Las Vegas,
hospitality school, nothingchanged.
I hit the ground running.
I was taking credit overload tograduate early.
I was working full time becauseI really struggled with allowing
my parents to help me.
I wanted to pay for schoolmyself.
And I was also serving as thepresident of the hospitality
hotel, lodging association.
(08:00):
So I was very involved, but Iwas very hard on myself.
Again, I always wanted to bedoing bigger and better things.
So I decided to take a step backand try to be a kid.
And I told myself to startdating a little bit, have
friends.
And that's where my story kindof took its next segue.
So, um, one evening I agreed togo on a date with a man.
And on the way back from dinner,he asked if I wanted to see this
(08:23):
gym that he was working on.
And so he took me to this lotand it was not a gym.
It was a very small storagelocker.
And um, you know, I really don'tneed to go into too much detail
there, but that night somethingwas it's taken from me that this
strong driving adaptable youngwoman went from believing in
(08:50):
herself that she could doanything to having just her
entire self-worth and worldripped away from her.
It wasn't the same after thatnight and become more hard, less
trusting, very insecure and verysad.
I went home that summer.
I worked tonight.
I still wanted my dream.
(09:11):
And so I came back to Vegas andI told myself where I grew up.
I was not going to allow this todefine me.
I wasn't going to allow myenvironment to control me.
And I was going to keep pushingand I was going to reach my
goals.
I was doing pretty well untilone night.
I was walking out of work fromthe casino and this man from the
date that night, who I hadn'tseen him since then was in the
(09:34):
parking lot.
And my heart just stoppedbecause all of the emotions, the
self-loathing just absolutescaredness came back.
And I just remember going hometo my apartment that night and
laying on the bathroom floor andjust shaking and crying.
And I honestly didn't want tolive life anymore because it was
(09:55):
really impactful to have tohandle these emotions and this
just this hatred for life.
I did the thing that I neverthought I would, I called my dad
and I asked him to come get me.
You know, honestly, I've neverreally shared why I left Vegas
that I wasn't ready to sharethat story until now, which I've
had a lot of self-growth.
If anything I can say is you areso valuable and have so much
(10:19):
worth and please don't ever letsomeone else take that from you.
It's something that internallyyou have.
And thankfully, I had thesupport of my family and friends
to get through it, but I didn'tallow that support for a long
time.
I try to take it on myself.
I was still hurt.
Um, again, I thought I hadfailed.
I didn't want to come homebecause I knew everyone had
(10:41):
looked at me like I'd gone and Ididn't make it.
And to someone who's very selfcritical.
That was really hard to imaginepeople talking about me failing,
but I got back enrolled inschool and I found a passion
thanks to an amazing professor,Dr.
Northern tin for marketresearch.
He allowed me to be his intern.
He believed in me and my lifeseemed to be on the upswing
(11:03):
again.
And so I finished school.
I decided that I needed topursue something that I was
passionate about.
So I got started in pageants.
I one was Idaho falls and then Iwent on to compete in miss Idaho
America.
And I was really pushing towardsthat better life.
I got my first job at a fuelcompany and they were absolutely
amazing.
They became some of my lifelongfamily, my friends and coworkers
(11:26):
did.
And then my life took a bit of aturn again.
And my family relations startedhaving a lot of difficulty in
their relationships and comingup thinking my family was this
perfect family, right?
Everyone was so happy.
Even at 23, it was so shockingfor me to go through a lot of
that emotionally.
And at that point I felt like Iwas an Idaho for my family.
(11:49):
And I didn't know what my familylooked like any longer.
It was a of trying to findmyself again.
And then, you know, my Knight inshining armor, I say somewhat
jokingly, but truly my currentboyfriend, Josh came back into
my life and something that'sreally special about Josh is
that any single human I've evermet, he has always believed in
(12:10):
me and supported me and justthought of me as this person
that I wanted to see myself ashe sent me this job description.
And I was still in that point inlife.
I was very hard on myself and Iwas like, there's no way I'm
going to get this.
But, um, spoiler alert, I endedup getting the job.
And now I'm sitting here filmingthis episode and I'm in a time
(12:31):
in life where I passionate aboutlife.
Again, I'm finding my story.
I'm finding the beauty in it,both the good and the bad
moments I found God, you know,in all of these things have
helped me be a better sister, abetter daughter, a better
girlfriend, and to be able tocome to accept a lot of the hard
things in life and that lethatred go and allow self-love to
(12:53):
take its place.
If there's anything I want youto know from my story, two
takeaways, one, it is soimportant to be driven and to
have goals and, and to want toreach your potential.
But let me tell you something,you already have done so much.
Don't put your head down andjust let life pass you by just
to do those things.
And secondly know how valuableyou are, no matter what happens
(13:16):
to you or what you go through,no one can take away your self
worth.
You know, it's something thatyou internally are able to
define for yourself.
So please remember, you're neveralone.
You are valuable.
And there are so many people outthere who see the greatness
within you.
I've had cheerleaders in mylife, my family, my sister, Dr.
Northington, my boyfriend, Josh.
(13:37):
They have continued to cheer meon.
I look at that now and I want todo that.
The rest of my life areindividuals that I come into
contact with.
I want to be someone's numberone, cheerleader.
Cause we need more cheerleadersin the world.
We really do.
We need those girls, commentingemojis and hearts and love.
And we need standing up in theboardrooms and saying, you
(13:58):
crushed that sales presentationwe'd need more happy emails.
We just need that.
So Jenny, what are you mostlooking forward to after COVID?
I think one of the things I'mmost excited for as crazy it is,
is to be back in an environmentwhere I'm working around other
human beings and getting tocollaborate together.
(14:19):
We still do that virtually.
I've been impressed with theamount of creativity and
resourcefulness, and I'm reallylooking forward to getting to
see people.
I, to I giving people high fives, sharing hugs, and I know it's
still going to be awhile beforewe can do that freely, which is
important that we keep thatboundary.
But yeah, I'm excited for hugsagain.
(14:42):
I hear you.
Me too.
I'm one of my favorite countrysongs lyrics are I believe
people are good.
There can be a lot of bad thingshappening in the world are
things that are hard when youreally focus on the people like
the people are so darn good.
And I'm so thankful in my storythat I've finally been able to
find that peace and that lovefor myself.
(15:04):
For sure.
I grew up in a small North Fargohome.
I have three beautiful sisters,two older and one baby sister.
So I'll always be your baby.
I grew up with two parents, momand a dad, just a very loving
home.
In the fifth grade, we moved outto a small town called kindred.
You know, I was never thatstraight a, this amazing
(15:29):
athlete, but I always triedreally hard.
And I feel like with my threesisters, I've always wanted to
have my parents attention andaffection.
And I know you can relate tothat having siblings.
Yes.
And so you're always wantingthat attention and need.
And I just tried really hard tohave that.
You know, you talk aboutdefining moments and some
(15:51):
defining moments that I willshare is I was bullied really
bad in seventh grade and CLI Imean, it was physical.
It was all year.
And I feel like that reallyshaped a lot of
self-preservation or copingmechanisms, you know, maybe the
need for connection.
And I think I've overcome quitea bit of the inadequacies of
(16:13):
that or feeling left out.
It's interesting.
Some of the hard experiencesthat you go through being
bullied as a 12 year old wasdefinitely something that stuck
with me.
And some of my other copingmechanisms come from is my dad
struggled with alcoholismgrowing up in that environment
(16:34):
of, you know, trying to alwaysappease and make sure things are
fine and where I get a lot of mynot good enough feelings, even
though, like I was telling youthe feelings of feeling like I'm
going to get fired from yourjob, you know, like that type of
thing.
It's because like, as a childgrowing up in that environment,
nothing I ever did was goodenough to make him stop
(16:55):
drinking.
And so you're always at thislevel of like, it's not good.
My kiddos, it's an opportunityfor me to stop that cycle and be
like, you are good enough.
That's my past.
And that's not our future.
When I was 17, my girlfriendenlisted in the air national
guard.
I thought that was neat.
(17:16):
I wanted to do somethingsimilar.
I decided like, okay, I'll dothat too.
So enlisted in the air nationalguard and was part of the one
19th wing and Fargo.
And that was such a greatexperience for me.
I went to basic training and oldNavy flip flops and manicure
nails.
And I was that girl that wasscrubbing the floor with a
toothbrush for SAS enough toanother team member.
(17:39):
Or she thought I was sassingoff.
I still don't think I was, butof course you were.
I was never stubborn.
I graduated basic training andthen came back and then eight
years to just dive eight yearsin the military.
And in that experience sayingyes to new experiences just was
so neat to me.
You know, I was able to travel.
I traveled to Germany and Japanand hang out in the little town
(18:02):
in Alaska and so many neatexperiences after high school,
I, I went to North Dakota stateuniversity one week in a month,
two weeks, a year service forthe guard.
I also worked full time as ahousekeeper at the Ramada with
my sister.
And so did that.
Um, my dad ended up passing awaywhen I was 18.
(18:23):
My dad, it was just such a kindand generous person.
He was so funny, had the bestsarcasm and wit he truly loved
life.
Of course you think about whatcould have been, and especially
having two little boys andwanting him to be around, to see
(18:48):
them grow up and to share thoseexperiences with him.
I can still feel his, his handon my shoulder in the morning,
giving me a gentle shoulder rubas he would come into the
kitchen and, and grab hiscoffee.
And, and I think about thatevery time I do that with my
boys, but life is fragile andlosing my dad makes me
(19:11):
appreciate life.
If I lived at home with my momand my sister, while I was
enrolled at SDSU, I add onlinecourses.
So I always felt like I wasmissing out on the friendships
and the experiences of collegeby not being on campus.
But I feel like being at homewith my mom, you know, I'd, I'd
(19:32):
get home from work and we wouldsit and we played gin for two
hours, you know, and it was justsuch a, such a fun experience,
especially after losing my dadfor us to be able to bond and
then be there with my youngersister too, was so precious to
me, you know?
And there was moments too, whenI would go to my mom and be
like, I don't know if I can dothis.
I don't know if I'll pass mathand you know, she listened and
(19:54):
she was such an encouragement tome.
There's so many moments in ourlives where we feel like maybe
we just can't do something andhaving that rock or that person
right next to us being like,yes, you can a couple of weeks
after losing my dad, I actuallymet the love of my life.
And my future husband, Mattactually grew up in this same
small farming community that mydad was raised in.
(20:18):
So Matt knew my cousins.
He knew my grandma and grandpa.
He knew my family and it was sospecial and sweet to meet him
and know that about him and havethat connection right off the
bat.
It was almost like my dad wassaying, I can't be with you, but
here is this wonderful man thatI want you to meet.
(20:38):
And 15 years later we aretogether and we have two
beautiful boys and he is thelove of my life.
I became involved in women'sstudies.
My sophomore year of collegebecame this straight, a student
and becoming involved indifferent nonprofits and meeting
these amazing women in thecommunity.
(20:59):
And, you know, there's momentsin your life where things just
happen.
If you take one step, you know,if you find something that you
you enjoy or you think this ispretty neat and you just step
into it, and that was forcollege, what ended up happening
for me?
I just started stepping intothese volunteer opportunities,
you know, a degree in psychologyand something I really loved and
(21:20):
was passionate about.
And, and, you know, having theseamazing mentors come alongside
me, you know, Dr.
Anne Burnett at MDSU and alsoDr.
Deb white at MSU, and these twowomen, you know, lifted me up.
So graduated in ESU.
I got a opportunity to go toUnited Arab Emirates.
So I deployed to UAE for twomonths and so served there.
(21:43):
And while I was in UAE, I got anopportunity to move to Bismarck,
North Dakota, working for theNorth Dakota national guard, and
did that for a few years,providing resource and referral
services to service members,veterans, and their families,
and also having the opportunityto lead the child and youth
program for the North Dakotanational guard.
But my husband wanted to moveout to bend.
(22:04):
And so we moved out to bendOregon, and we had been out
there for the last eight years,just a memorable, fun time of
being involved with communityand meeting new people, saying
yes to new experiences, youknow, traveling to the coast,
seeing Multnomah falls, learninghow to ski.
So just so many cool experiencesby just saying yes.
(22:26):
And after eight years and twolittle kiddos, we decided to
move back, did the 1500 hundredmile U haul trip received a job
offer with Stoneridge as theexecutive assistant to the CEO,
it feels good to be back.
You know, I look forward to whenmy family is not social
distancing and I can give my momand my sisters just a really
(22:47):
good hug.
We are so fortunate and thankfulto be home and back in our
community because Fargo is home.
What are, what are some piecesof advice that you'd like to
share that you've learned fromyour journey?
What I've learned from myjourney so far travel is
something that's reallyimportant to me.
Travel has opened up so many newexperiences and relationships
(23:09):
and connections.
I would just say, if you havethe opportunity to travel, to do
it, I always would mention allsomeday, maybe I will.
And I think now, especially inthis landscape, someday is,
should be a pretty close day.
It may not be in the next weekor two or even the next month,
because we don't know how thislooks, but someday should be a
pretty close day.
Another one I would say is tosay yes to new experiences.
(23:32):
I just find that to be soimportant, especially stepping
out of our comfort zones, or itmay be exposing fear.
If I didn't say yes to some ofmy experiences, I wouldn't have
skydived.
You know, I wouldn't have[inaudible] those out of your
story, you know, skydiving andclimbing Pike's peak, you know,
(23:52):
14,000 feet up just having theguts of taking that step to say,
yes, I will do this.
Finally, what I would say isbuild your community, seek out
those friends, seek out thosefamily members.
You know, maybe those familymembers do you haven't talked to
in awhile, those cousins, thoseonset looks so forward to seeing
you when you're a little kid andraising you and to really build
(24:15):
your community.
I love that last one.
I love all of them, but buildyour community.
I feel like I've done thatrecently and it makes a huge
difference.
It's like, sometimes you're allthinking the same thing, no one
reaches out, but you're allgoing around in the same circle.
And then as soon as someonetakes the initiative, everyone
else is like, we've all beenwanting.
This we've all wanted toconnect.
So thanks just for taking theinitiative and sending me the
(24:38):
ping during the meeting to startthe podcast.
Okay.
So all of these new thingsyou're doing, so what do you
think this, what does, COVIDtaught you?
What have you learned from theseexperiences?
You know, if you reflect back,moving forward, what are some of
those, those takeaways?
You know, in this landscape, myfamily has been so resilient.
My husband and I, we are such arock together to be able to get
(25:02):
through this and thankful forour health.
That's not everyone's reality.
And then I'm also thankful formy family.
This environment has showed usthe value of family and
friendships and community iswhat I'm truly thankful for.
It's truly special of where, youknow, where we are today.
(25:23):
Cause I think, you know, justlistening to both, I think both
of us have been at some prettylow, pretty low times where we
really didn't know if there wasa, today.
We couldn't see into the futureof knowing if we were ever going
to maybe escape the feelings andmaybe we'll never entirely, um,
at least in my case, I'm surenot, but how much more I'm able
to acknowledge or handle it in amore manageable or healthy way
(25:47):
of some sort, even if it's anincrementally more healthy.
I agree.
And I feel like I would be amiss if I didn't mention my
faith as well.
In my story, you know, my faithin Jesus has been the guiding
light, the rock of getting me towhere I am through all these
hardships or struggles and theamazing times the blessings, you
know, it all points back to him.
(26:08):
And so I feel like with myjourney, he's part of it.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Is it?
Hi, thank you for listening toglaze and grit with Jesse and
Janine.
If you liked this episode, besure to let us know and
subscribe to glaze and grit, tofind out more about glaze and
grit and our journey ofshattering success, perceptions
(26:33):
through honest and realconversations.
Be sure to check out glazinggrit, podcast.com.
Talk to you soon.
[inaudible].
I think that's so interesting to name where you're
talking about, like thatbackstory, that you don't see
that.
Yeah.
And it's one thing to inspiresomeone else with your story.
I also think somethingpersonally for the podcast and
hopefully our guests is likesharing your story is kind of
holding yourself accountablethat you have a story and it's
reminding you, your story isyours.
(00:22):
I need to take a moment andremember, like, I have a pretty
darn good story because it's meand I love everyone.
Speaker 2 (00:34):
Hi Jesse.
This is Janine and this isglazing grit.
We're on a journey to share thereal story.
Speaker 1 (00:53):
Hey Jesse, how's it going?
It is, it is going good.
I'm out here in Idaho feelinglike I'm in my roots, which is
what, a better way to start outthese sharing our journey.
The fact that I'm in myhometown.
So that's kind of fun forepisode one.
How are you?
I'm doing good.
The kids are sleeping.
(01:14):
Cheers to that too.
Cool.
Well, you know, I think one ofmy favorite parts of glaze and
grit, what we've done so far isreally the initial moment that
you sent me that text when wewere in a meeting at work and
you were like, Janine, we needto start a podcast.
I think it'd be cool to share.
Like, why did you send thattext?
You know, what was going throughyour mind?
(01:35):
Do you mean?
And I worked together and westarted about two, three weeks
apart, pretty close together,three weeks.
I was so impressed with Jeanineright off the bat.
This woman is amazing.
And so I was listening to onthat book club discussion that
we had, I was listening to yourvoice.
And I was like, she is so great.
And for whatever reason, itpopped in my head.
(01:57):
Like we need to start a podcast.
And I was so excited that Iwanted to text you right.
When we were having thatdiscussion, like, no, I gotta
wait.
You were all on board.
And so it was so fun to talk toyou about that and figure out
what we wanted this to be like.
Yeah.
And I think what's interestingis, you know, I say the same
about you.
I would like watch you at work.
And I was like, so impressed.
(02:17):
And I was like, Oh, she's she'searly every day.
She always has the mostdelicious looking coffee.
She's in a great outfit.
And she has kiddos dropped offalready.
It's like that story too, of werecognize these amazing
qualities and other people thatwe see like day in, day out, we
see who they show up to at theoffice.
And we see this like puttogether person and we're like,
(02:38):
Whoa, how does she do this?
Like, I want to be that person.
And what's great is we hadn'tshared that with one another
before didn't wanting to do thispodcast.
Yeah.
We just sat in each other.
I feel like, yes.
And another thing too, that Iloved is back and forth on days
we would share texts, man,today.
It's just like, am I ever doingenough?
Like I always feel I can takethat next step.
(02:58):
And I, you know, never know.
And that was something else thatwe connected on forming.
Like when we were talking aboutwhat glaze and grit is going to
be about, it's like, we need toshare the real story.
Like we go to work every day andour homes and everyone on the
outside of us has thisperception and we are amazing
and we are awesome, but we dohave those hard days and we have
worked really hard to get towhere we're at.
(03:20):
And unfortunately we don't pulleach other aside enough and talk
about those stories orcongratulate someone for making
it through those moments thatallows them to be that rock star
mom or that rock star salesmenor whatever we're doing in life.
Being able to showcase reallythe story of a person and not
just a title.
I think to me, was so important.
(03:41):
You probably see me almost crylike 50 times.
Cause we get like so excitedabout like success stories.
But I think for so long, I neverrealized that there was a
backstory to anyone's success.
It just worked out for him.
And that can be really hard onyou internally when you're
trying to compare yourself toeveryone else.
I think that's so interesting toname where you're talking about,
like that backstory, that youdon't see that, you know,
(04:03):
juggling kiddos and dinners andwork, you know, I come to work
in the morning and I do my joband then, you know, I'm hustling
kids and we just make it work.
And that's why I'm so excitedto, to, to hear about the
backstories of people's stories.
Yeah.
And it's one thing to inspiresomeone else with your story.
(04:24):
Like I've sat through countlessspeakers, podcasts of myself.
Like I love listening to otherpeople and hearing how they got
to, but I also think somethingpersonally for the podcast and
hopefully our guests is likesharing your story is kind of
holding yourself accountablethat you have a story and it's
reminding you, your story isyours.
(04:46):
I need to take a moment andremember, like I have a pretty
darn good story because it's meand I love every bit of it.
The good, the bad I get intojust listening to you talk about
this.
And then I'm like, yes, that'sexactly what we're trying to
accomplish.
Yeah.
And I think just of all of theinspiring guest speakers that
we've reached out to so far tobring on really, really special
(05:08):
women and to hear theirresponses of just being so
excited to want to support andbe part of someone else's dream
or passion that like immediate,just like, yeah, of course I,
that's something that's really,really special too.
I think everywhere.
But our local area is supersupportive.
(05:28):
I think sharing those storiesare even more important because
that impact.
So it was actually funny when wewere writing the bios for the
podcast, I looked at myboyfriend, Josh, and I was like,
I don't really have any thinginteresting about me.
And he's like, well, you, yougrew up in a bar.
And so I would lead with thatand I was like, okay, yeah,
that's a little different thanthe typical growing up story.
(05:49):
But my dad worked extremely hardto provide for my mom, myself
and my five siblings.
And we were lucky enough to havea stay-at-home mom, but we also
had a family business.
So from a very young age, I wasan environment, a lot of support
of family, but also of drivingwork ethic, expectations of
(06:11):
being the best, doing the best.
And my parents held us to a veryhigh caliber as children.
And so moving forward a littlebit and the third grade things
changed and my parents decidedthat we were going to move.
So within 24 hours, my childhoodhome had sold and we were moving
out into the middle of nowherewith no home.
And our family business was agame bird farm.
(06:33):
So while we were raising thebirds on the farm, living in
tents and building the barn, wewere still going to school and
trying to be normal.
Kids have friends, but that madeit really difficult.
You know, it was very disruptivefor not only me as a child, but
everyone and moving forward.
What I learned from that move ofneeding to be adaptable, knowing
(06:55):
that with family, you can makeit through anything.
And lastly that your environmentdoesn't define where you're
going.
I could have accepted that.
That was it.
I was just going to exist now inthis tiny town, but I had a
calling within me that said Iwas meant for something bigger.
And my parents always supportedthat because of that, I was
(07:17):
always very hard on myself.
I always wanted to be the best,best academically, athletically,
just overall.
And so when my sister Reese, myhero decided to graduate high
school early, I knew that thatwas what I wanted to do as well.
Pushed through school.
Didn't have a lot of friends,but I had a goal.
And so I graduated early andmoved to Las Vegas where I got a
(07:39):
scholarship to attend universityof Nevada, Las Vegas,
hospitality school, nothingchanged.
I hit the ground running.
I was taking credit overload tograduate early.
I was working full time becauseI really struggled with allowing
my parents to help me.
I wanted to pay for schoolmyself.
And I was also serving as thepresident of the hospitality
hotel, lodging association.
(08:00):
So I was very involved, but Iwas very hard on myself.
Again, I always wanted to bedoing bigger and better things.
So I decided to take a step backand try to be a kid.
And I told myself to startdating a little bit, have
friends.
And that's where my story kindof took its next segue.
So, um, one evening I agreed togo on a date with a man.
And on the way back from dinner,he asked if I wanted to see this
(08:23):
gym that he was working on.
And so he took me to this lotand it was not a gym.
It was a very small storagelocker.
And um, you know, I really don'tneed to go into too much detail
there, but that night somethingwas it's taken from me that this
strong driving adaptable youngwoman went from believing in
(08:50):
herself that she could doanything to having just her
entire self-worth and worldripped away from her.
It wasn't the same after thatnight and become more hard, less
trusting, very insecure and verysad.
I went home that summer.
I worked tonight.
I still wanted my dream.
(09:11):
And so I came back to Vegas andI told myself where I grew up.
I was not going to allow this todefine me.
I wasn't going to allow myenvironment to control me.
And I was going to keep pushingand I was going to reach my
goals.
I was doing pretty well untilone night.
I was walking out of work fromthe casino and this man from the
date that night, who I hadn'tseen him since then was in the
(09:34):
parking lot.
And my heart just stoppedbecause all of the emotions, the
self-loathing just absolutescaredness came back.
And I just remember going hometo my apartment that night and
laying on the bathroom floor andjust shaking and crying.
And I honestly didn't want tolive life anymore because it was
(09:55):
really impactful to have tohandle these emotions and this
just this hatred for life.
I did the thing that I neverthought I would, I called my dad
and I asked him to come get me.
You know, honestly, I've neverreally shared why I left Vegas
that I wasn't ready to sharethat story until now, which I've
had a lot of self-growth.
If anything I can say is you areso valuable and have so much
(10:19):
worth and please don't ever letsomeone else take that from you.
It's something that internallyyou have.
And thankfully, I had thesupport of my family and friends
to get through it, but I didn'tallow that support for a long
time.
I try to take it on myself.
I was still hurt.
Um, again, I thought I hadfailed.
I didn't want to come homebecause I knew everyone had
(10:41):
looked at me like I'd gone and Ididn't make it.
And to someone who's very selfcritical.
That was really hard to imaginepeople talking about me failing,
but I got back enrolled inschool and I found a passion
thanks to an amazing professor,Dr.
Northern tin for marketresearch.
He allowed me to be his intern.
He believed in me and my lifeseemed to be on the upswing
(11:03):
again.
And so I finished school.
I decided that I needed topursue something that I was
passionate about.
So I got started in pageants.
I one was Idaho falls and then Iwent on to compete in miss Idaho
America.
And I was really pushing towardsthat better life.
I got my first job at a fuelcompany and they were absolutely
amazing.
They became some of my lifelongfamily, my friends and coworkers
(11:26):
did.
And then my life took a bit of aturn again.
And my family relations startedhaving a lot of difficulty in
their relationships and comingup thinking my family was this
perfect family, right?
Everyone was so happy.
Even at 23, it was so shockingfor me to go through a lot of
that emotionally.
And at that point I felt like Iwas an Idaho for my family.
(11:49):
And I didn't know what my familylooked like any longer.
It was a of trying to findmyself again.
And then, you know, my Knight inshining armor, I say somewhat
jokingly, but truly my currentboyfriend, Josh came back into
my life and something that'sreally special about Josh is
that any single human I've evermet, he has always believed in
(12:10):
me and supported me and justthought of me as this person
that I wanted to see myself ashe sent me this job description.
And I was still in that point inlife.
I was very hard on myself and Iwas like, there's no way I'm
going to get this.
But, um, spoiler alert, I endedup getting the job.
And now I'm sitting here filmingthis episode and I'm in a time
(12:31):
in life where I passionate aboutlife.
Again, I'm finding my story.
I'm finding the beauty in it,both the good and the bad
moments I found God, you know,in all of these things have
helped me be a better sister, abetter daughter, a better
girlfriend, and to be able tocome to accept a lot of the hard
things in life and that lethatred go and allow self-love to
(12:53):
take its place.
If there's anything I want youto know from my story, two
takeaways, one, it is soimportant to be driven and to
have goals and, and to want toreach your potential.
But let me tell you something,you already have done so much.
Don't put your head down andjust let life pass you by just
to do those things.
And secondly know how valuableyou are, no matter what happens
(13:16):
to you or what you go through,no one can take away your self
worth.
You know, it's something thatyou internally are able to
define for yourself.
So please remember, you're neveralone.
You are valuable.
And there are so many people outthere who see the greatness
within you.
I've had cheerleaders in mylife, my family, my sister, Dr.
Northington, my boyfriend, Josh.
(13:37):
They have continued to cheer meon.
I look at that now and I want todo that.
The rest of my life areindividuals that I come into
contact with.
I want to be someone's numberone, cheerleader.
Cause we need more cheerleadersin the world.
We really do.
We need those girls, commentingemojis and hearts and love.
And we need standing up in theboardrooms and saying, you
(13:58):
crushed that sales presentationwe'd need more happy emails.
We just need that.
So Jenny, what are you mostlooking forward to after COVID?
I think one of the things I'mmost excited for as crazy it is,
is to be back in an environmentwhere I'm working around other
human beings and getting tocollaborate together.
(14:19):
We still do that virtually.
I've been impressed with theamount of creativity and
resourcefulness, and I'm reallylooking forward to getting to
see people.
I, to I giving people high fives, sharing hugs, and I know it's
still going to be awhile beforewe can do that freely, which is
important that we keep thatboundary.
But yeah, I'm excited for hugsagain.
(14:42):
I hear you.
Me too.
I'm one of my favorite countrysongs lyrics are I believe
people are good.
There can be a lot of bad thingshappening in the world are
things that are hard when youreally focus on the people like
the people are so darn good.
And I'm so thankful in my storythat I've finally been able to
find that peace and that lovefor myself.
(15:04):
For sure.
I grew up in a small North Fargohome.
I have three beautiful sisters,two older and one baby sister.
So I'll always be your baby.
I grew up with two parents, momand a dad, just a very loving
home.
In the fifth grade, we moved outto a small town called kindred.
You know, I was never thatstraight a, this amazing
(15:29):
athlete, but I always triedreally hard.
And I feel like with my threesisters, I've always wanted to
have my parents attention andaffection.
And I know you can relate tothat having siblings.
Yes.
And so you're always wantingthat attention and need.
And I just tried really hard tohave that.
You know, you talk aboutdefining moments and some
(15:51):
defining moments that I willshare is I was bullied really
bad in seventh grade and CLI Imean, it was physical.
It was all year.
And I feel like that reallyshaped a lot of
self-preservation or copingmechanisms, you know, maybe the
need for connection.
And I think I've overcome quitea bit of the inadequacies of
(16:13):
that or feeling left out.
It's interesting.
Some of the hard experiencesthat you go through being
bullied as a 12 year old wasdefinitely something that stuck
with me.
And some of my other copingmechanisms come from is my dad
struggled with alcoholismgrowing up in that environment
(16:34):
of, you know, trying to alwaysappease and make sure things are
fine and where I get a lot of mynot good enough feelings, even
though, like I was telling youthe feelings of feeling like I'm
going to get fired from yourjob, you know, like that type of
thing.
It's because like, as a childgrowing up in that environment,
nothing I ever did was goodenough to make him stop
(16:55):
drinking.
And so you're always at thislevel of like, it's not good.
My kiddos, it's an opportunityfor me to stop that cycle and be
like, you are good enough.
That's my past.
And that's not our future.
When I was 17, my girlfriendenlisted in the air national
guard.
I thought that was neat.
(17:16):
I wanted to do somethingsimilar.
I decided like, okay, I'll dothat too.
So enlisted in the air nationalguard and was part of the one
19th wing and Fargo.
And that was such a greatexperience for me.
I went to basic training and oldNavy flip flops and manicure
nails.
And I was that girl that wasscrubbing the floor with a
toothbrush for SAS enough toanother team member.
(17:39):
Or she thought I was sassingoff.
I still don't think I was, butof course you were.
I was never stubborn.
I graduated basic training andthen came back and then eight
years to just dive eight yearsin the military.
And in that experience sayingyes to new experiences just was
so neat to me.
You know, I was able to travel.
I traveled to Germany and Japanand hang out in the little town
(18:02):
in Alaska and so many neatexperiences after high school,
I, I went to North Dakota stateuniversity one week in a month,
two weeks, a year service forthe guard.
I also worked full time as ahousekeeper at the Ramada with
my sister.
And so did that.
Um, my dad ended up passing awaywhen I was 18.
(18:23):
My dad, it was just such a kindand generous person.
He was so funny, had the bestsarcasm and wit he truly loved
life.
Of course you think about whatcould have been, and especially
having two little boys andwanting him to be around, to see
(18:48):
them grow up and to share thoseexperiences with him.
I can still feel his, his handon my shoulder in the morning,
giving me a gentle shoulder rubas he would come into the
kitchen and, and grab hiscoffee.
And, and I think about thatevery time I do that with my
boys, but life is fragile andlosing my dad makes me
(19:11):
appreciate life.
If I lived at home with my momand my sister, while I was
enrolled at SDSU, I add onlinecourses.
So I always felt like I wasmissing out on the friendships
and the experiences of collegeby not being on campus.
But I feel like being at homewith my mom, you know, I'd, I'd
(19:32):
get home from work and we wouldsit and we played gin for two
hours, you know, and it was justsuch a, such a fun experience,
especially after losing my dadfor us to be able to bond and
then be there with my youngersister too, was so precious to
me, you know?
And there was moments too, whenI would go to my mom and be
like, I don't know if I can dothis.
I don't know if I'll pass mathand you know, she listened and
(19:54):
she was such an encouragement tome.
There's so many moments in ourlives where we feel like maybe
we just can't do something andhaving that rock or that person
right next to us being like,yes, you can a couple of weeks
after losing my dad, I actuallymet the love of my life.
And my future husband, Mattactually grew up in this same
small farming community that mydad was raised in.
(20:18):
So Matt knew my cousins.
He knew my grandma and grandpa.
He knew my family and it was sospecial and sweet to meet him
and know that about him and havethat connection right off the
bat.
It was almost like my dad wassaying, I can't be with you, but
here is this wonderful man thatI want you to meet.
(20:38):
And 15 years later we aretogether and we have two
beautiful boys and he is thelove of my life.
I became involved in women'sstudies.
My sophomore year of collegebecame this straight, a student
and becoming involved indifferent nonprofits and meeting
these amazing women in thecommunity.
(20:59):
And, you know, there's momentsin your life where things just
happen.
If you take one step, you know,if you find something that you
you enjoy or you think this ispretty neat and you just step
into it, and that was forcollege, what ended up happening
for me?
I just started stepping intothese volunteer opportunities,
you know, a degree in psychologyand something I really loved and
(21:20):
was passionate about.
And, and, you know, having theseamazing mentors come alongside
me, you know, Dr.
Anne Burnett at MDSU and alsoDr.
Deb white at MSU, and these twowomen, you know, lifted me up.
So graduated in ESU.
I got a opportunity to go toUnited Arab Emirates.
So I deployed to UAE for twomonths and so served there.
(21:43):
And while I was in UAE, I got anopportunity to move to Bismarck,
North Dakota, working for theNorth Dakota national guard, and
did that for a few years,providing resource and referral
services to service members,veterans, and their families,
and also having the opportunityto lead the child and youth
program for the North Dakotanational guard.
But my husband wanted to moveout to bend.
(22:04):
And so we moved out to bendOregon, and we had been out
there for the last eight years,just a memorable, fun time of
being involved with communityand meeting new people, saying
yes to new experiences, youknow, traveling to the coast,
seeing Multnomah falls, learninghow to ski.
So just so many cool experiencesby just saying yes.
(22:26):
And after eight years and twolittle kiddos, we decided to
move back, did the 1500 hundredmile U haul trip received a job
offer with Stoneridge as theexecutive assistant to the CEO,
it feels good to be back.
You know, I look forward to whenmy family is not social
distancing and I can give my momand my sisters just a really
(22:47):
good hug.
We are so fortunate and thankfulto be home and back in our
community because Fargo is home.
What are, what are some piecesof advice that you'd like to
share that you've learned fromyour journey?
What I've learned from myjourney so far travel is
something that's reallyimportant to me.
Travel has opened up so many newexperiences and relationships
(23:09):
and connections.
I would just say, if you havethe opportunity to travel, to do
it, I always would mention allsomeday, maybe I will.
And I think now, especially inthis landscape, someday is,
should be a pretty close day.
It may not be in the next weekor two or even the next month,
because we don't know how thislooks, but someday should be a
pretty close day.
Another one I would say is tosay yes to new experiences.
(23:32):
I just find that to be soimportant, especially stepping
out of our comfort zones, or itmay be exposing fear.
If I didn't say yes to some ofmy experiences, I wouldn't have
skydived.
You know, I wouldn't have[inaudible] those out of your
story, you know, skydiving andclimbing Pike's peak, you know,
(23:52):
14,000 feet up just having theguts of taking that step to say,
yes, I will do this.
Finally, what I would say isbuild your community, seek out
those friends, seek out thosefamily members.
You know, maybe those familymembers do you haven't talked to
in awhile, those cousins, thoseonset looks so forward to seeing
you when you're a little kid andraising you and to really build
(24:15):
your community.
I love that last one.
I love all of them, but buildyour community.
I feel like I've done thatrecently and it makes a huge
difference.
It's like, sometimes you're allthinking the same thing, no one
reaches out, but you're allgoing around in the same circle.
And then as soon as someonetakes the initiative, everyone
else is like, we've all beenwanting.
This we've all wanted toconnect.
So thanks just for taking theinitiative and sending me the
(24:38):
ping during the meeting to startthe podcast.
Okay.
So all of these new thingsyou're doing, so what do you
think this, what does, COVIDtaught you?
What have you learned from theseexperiences?
You know, if you reflect back,moving forward, what are some of
those, those takeaways?
You know, in this landscape, myfamily has been so resilient.
My husband and I, we are such arock together to be able to get
(25:02):
through this and thankful forour health.
That's not everyone's reality.
And then I'm also thankful formy family.
This environment has showed usthe value of family and
friendships and community iswhat I'm truly thankful for.
It's truly special of where, youknow, where we are today.
(25:23):
Cause I think, you know, justlistening to both, I think both
of us have been at some prettylow, pretty low times where we
really didn't know if there wasa, today.
We couldn't see into the futureof knowing if we were ever going
to maybe escape the feelings andmaybe we'll never entirely, um,
at least in my case, I'm surenot, but how much more I'm able
to acknowledge or handle it in amore manageable or healthy way
(25:47):
of some sort, even if it's anincrementally more healthy.
I agree.
And I feel like I would be amiss if I didn't mention my
faith as well.
In my story, you know, my faithin Jesus has been the guiding
light, the rock of getting me towhere I am through all these
hardships or struggles and theamazing times the blessings, you
know, it all points back to him.
(26:08):
And so I feel like with myjourney, he's part of it.
Speaker 2 (26:12):
Is it?
Hi, thank you for listening toglaze and grit with Jesse and
Janine.
If you liked this episode, besure to let us know and
subscribe to glaze and grit, tofind out more about glaze and
grit and our journey ofshattering success, perceptions
(26:33):
through honest and realconversations.
Be sure to check out glazinggrit, podcast.com.
Talk to you soon.
[inaudible].
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