January 11, 2021 • 23 mins
Karli Moch is the Director of Business Development with Bio Girls, an impressive nonprofit organization spanning across the Midwest whose focus is building self-worth in girls. She is also the founder of Create Your Crew, a blog where Karli shares her personal experiences with motherhood, relationships, career, and health to provide an inclusive and welcoming space for others. Karli’s journey has taken her on several life altering and life-threatening circumstances, one being diagnosed with ulcerative colitis, an autoimmune disease that affects the lower digestive tract. We discuss the need for community, the strength of persevering in the worst of moments, the importance of mentors, and life pivots. Here is one honest conversation from one momma to another.
S2:E6 // January 12, 2021
“Make your voice heard, be authentic, be vulnerable, and be a shameless truth teller. You just might change someone’s life.” - Karli Moch
To connect with Karli:
Email: karli@biogirls.org
LinkedIn: Karli’s Profile
Website:
Facebook:
Instagram:
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
If you are willing to share your story and to open up
and be vulnerable to the peoplearound you, the abundance of
good fortune and people andconnection that can come to your
life because of it is justincredible to experience
personally, and to watch forothers.
So I always just love to try toencourage that into not downplay
(00:22):
things that you have learned andthat you could help others.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Glaze glazing grit is a podcast where honest and real
conversations are front andcenter.
A conversation we're Fargo,Morehead, area, business owners,
thought leaders, advocates, andvisionaries share their lessons
learned and provide a freshperspective to better inform and
support you in your journey.
It's about sharing the realstory to inspire lead and
(00:51):
encourage.
All right here in my backyard ofFargo, North Dakota, it all
starts with a conversation andhonest one.
I'm Jessie, winter ravage, andthis is glaze and grit.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
My next guest is Carly mock, the director of
mission development with biogirls and impressive nonprofit
organization spanning across theMidwest whose focus is building
self-worth in girls.
She's also the founder ofcreature crew, a blog where
Carly shares her personalexperiences with motherhood,
relationships, career, andhealth to provide an inclusive
(01:29):
and welcoming space for others.
Carly's journey has taken her onseveral life altering and
life-threatening circumstances.
One being diagnosed withulcerative colitis in auto
immune disease that affects thelower digestive tract.
We discussed the need forcommunity.
The strength of persevering inthe worst of moments, the
(01:49):
importance of mentors and lifepivots here is one honest
conversation from one mama toanother here's Carly Mach.
Hi, Carly, how are you?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm doing good.
It's been like one thing afteranother and in such a good way,
had a lot of people in mycorner, kind of connecting me
with other people.
So it's been good.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
It seems like you are such a connector.
I just love it.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Oh gosh.
I honestly I'm like that whenI'm meeting with people that are
connecting me with others, I'mlike, I think this is ultimately
what I, I want to be that forsomebody else down the road,
like, that's my ultimate.
I just, I think there's so muchvalue in that and being able to
help others with, Oh, I knowsomebody that will be able to
help you.
I just, I love that people aredoing that for me and I would
(02:36):
love to do that for others, but
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah.
And that's one of the things Iwant to touch on too, but since
we're on the topic, I think thatwould be good.
I want to get your thoughtscurrently on this, because I
know we're both in our thirties,I'm 34, 33 34,
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Right.
33 33.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
And you know, coming back to Fargo, um, after being
gone for, you know, nine, 10years in my thirties, there's so
much of a community with womenhere.
And so many women are doing justincredible things.
And I feel like in my twenties,I wouldn't have had the courage
or the confidence to just getout and connect with people, you
(03:12):
know, I want to do in mythirties.
And I think it took me gettinginto my thirties to be like,
Hey, we're all in the same boat.
We're just trying to, you know,make it
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Exactly.
Yeah.
I agree with you.
I completely agree with you.
I, especially growing up herehave always had friendships that
have lasted throughout the yearsand luckily have those carried
into adulthood.
And so I've always kind ofrelied on them, but, and tell, I
kind of started branching out onmy own and we're all going
(03:43):
through different seasons atdifferent times.
You know, you start to gravitatein different directions and, um,
hate to say lose touch, but youdo a little bit with some
people.
And until I started being morevulnerable and open and willing
to share some of the hardshipsand struggles that we were going
through is really when I startedto cultivate new relationships
(04:07):
with people who had similargoals and visions, or that maybe
have gone through the samethings as me and have really
gained new connection andfriendships with people.
I never would have been able tomeet.
Had I not done that.
I'm such a firm believer in, intelling your story because we
all have one and it doesn'tmatter if it's drastic or is it
(04:30):
something small, but if you'rewilling to share it and not only
might help somebody else, but itmight build you a new friendship
and connection that you neverwould have had.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I completely agree.
And that's one of the things Iadmire about you so much is that
you do step out and you makeyour voice heard and you're
vulnerable and honest and yeah,you develop such richer
relationships.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah.
And honestly, the people thatconnect to your story are
people.
Sometimes you would have neverguessed.
And that's just the irony andeverything is that every single
person is going throughsomething.
And I cannot say it enough thatwhen we're walking down the
street, every single person hasa story behind their eyes.
Whether they're showing thatsmile or not, there is a song
(05:15):
that always hits me and therewas like a lyric in it that says
I'm not special.
I'm just like everybody else.
And even though your story mightbe a little more difficult than
somebody else's, they might'vegone through, we're not special.
Like every single person is morealike than we give ourselves
credit for.
If you just are willing to openup, for sure
Speaker 3 (05:38):
That segues a bit into create your crew, because I
know a lot of what you're doingand you know, the premise behind
glaze and grit and justcommunity and belonging are
tied.
So do you want to touch on thepremise behind creature crew?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Sure.
I honestly I have loved towrite.
Um, I was not always the beststudent because I was always
doing this, which talking andnot paying attention, but I
always had a passion forEnglish.
I loved writing.
I loved telling the story.
When I got sick a few yearsback, I was diagnosed with
(06:15):
ulcerative colitis and it tookmyself and my family on a
completely different path.
Um, now when I look back, ofcourse, I would never want to go
through the things I wentthrough at the time.
However, I can not tell you howmany things have come into my
life because of it, includingour most recent fun Simon.
(06:37):
So there's so many things thatwould have never come into my
life.
Had I not gone through that andcreate your crew came about
after I went through a long ninemonths of really hard time with
my health and my family goingthrough it, I came out of it,
just kind of having that midlifecrisis moment of what am I
(06:58):
doing?
And I am not leaving thefootprint of what I thought I
would.
And kind of having that deathknock on your door moment of
what if I would have left here,what did I make an impact on the
sides of the people in my homeand in my family?
And so I just started writingand wanting to have a place
where I could be vulnerable andshare things that I had gone
(07:19):
through in the way that I cameout of them to try to bring
community and inspiration toothers.
And so just creating that placeto be safe and vulnerable and to
share within our struggles waskind of how that came about,
which really just led me oneafter another to new connection
and new people and ultimatelyleaving corporate America and
(07:40):
following my passion afterfinding bile.
Girls
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Love that.
And I know I definitely want totouch on bio girls before we do.
Can you share a little bit moreabout what happened three years
ago?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah.
And I always liked to tell thisstory just for awareness in
general, because I mean, I hadour first son Dawson in 2016.
I have to think there for asecond.
And, um, it wasn't only maybefour or five months later.
I started having blood in mystool.
(08:13):
And for, like I said, I'm anopen book, so I just go straight
to it.
But really I thought that wasnormal.
I did not know that that justdoesn't come with childbirth.
I had no idea.
Um, I just thought that was partof the post labor situation.
And, uh, you know, a few monthswent by, went away.
It came back until almost a yearinto my son's life.
(08:34):
It came and it never left.
Then I thought, okay, this is aproblem.
And I went to my doctor, she hadrecommended I get a scope.
And from there I was diagnosedwith ulcerative colitis in
October of 2018.
And probably it was only 30 daysfrom that where I was diagnosed
with a moderate case and turn toa very severe case, um, and was
(08:57):
hospitalized for about 30 daysover Christmas and with a new
baby.
And it was a very difficult timefor, and it's not just myself,
my entire family was affectedand we went through a lot of
treatments that are supposed tohelp and are supposed to fix
this issue.
And it just wasn't working forme.
So I ended up having a series ofthree surgeries and lived with a
(09:20):
temporary stoma for about fivemonths or so at the age of 30
and was like, w woke up fromthat surgery feeling a hundred
times better than I went intoit.
However, had that moment of whatis happening.
You know, this is my reality.
Uh, you know, I kind of woke upfrom that haze of just make me
(09:41):
better too.
Oh, wow.
Like this is life changing forme right now and ended up
reversing the stoma and happilyhaving that third surgery and
lucky to have it.
So basically created a fakecolon if you will, and have been
living with that kind of for thelast two years, but still have
issues.
And I remember very specificallyand I tell this because I, it
(10:03):
really set in for me.
I was going through the motionsof just make me feel better, get
this pain gone, where it wasprobably a year afterwards, not
even, um, we were with friendsand somebody asked my husband,
what were you thinking duringall of this?
I mean, he had my son, he was myrock.
He never wavered, never showedto me that he was overly worried
(10:25):
and he had replied to them.
I thought she was going to die.
And I, at that moment have thatclarity of how much it affected
him as well as myself and justwas like, I need to use this
moment of rebirth if you will.
And redirection for somethingmore than what I'm doing.
(10:46):
And so that really laid out thenext three years of bringing in
our adopted son and changingcareer paths because of the
volunteer work I was doing withthem already and not ashamed to
say it, but I did not volunteeroutside of my home.
I was in the sick of trying toget pregnant, then getting
pregnant and having a kid andthen health.
And I was like, what am I doingfor my community?
(11:08):
And it wasn't a lot finding thatoutlet of mentoring young girls
was life-changing for me.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Wow.
Thank you for sharing.
Just can't even imagine it.
And I was watching a segment, anew segment where you would go
into the hospital and give back,you know, because that was so
impactful for you.
And I just remember seeing thatolder woman, you know, and how,
how much you just touched her.
And it was just like, Oh, justbeing able to do that is so
(11:38):
precious.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah.
That was probably the darkestmoment of everything for me was
Christmas day.
I was, and I can't imagine itnow, like, and I will do that
same thing this year.
I mean, it's only to one personwho's in the, on Christmas, but
it means so much to myself andmy family, because I just
(11:59):
imagine yourself on Christmasday and your family comes to
visit, and then they're like,see you later.
And you're sitting there in thehospital by yourself and your
husband and your two year oldson are going to church and
going to be with family and openpresents.
And it was not a big celebrationfor them that you're in, if you
could imagine.
(12:19):
Um, but I remember breaking downand I hadn't really cried in the
hospital, but I remember a nursesitting on the bed with me and
holding me, crying for probablya good half an hour.
And she just let me do it.
And I cannot appreciate thenurses as much as I like.
It's just the amount of workthat they do outside of their
scope of work is justincredible.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Wow.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You know, you talked about youryoungest son, Simon, and I was
listening to one of your mostrecent podcast interviews on BFS
or podcasts with Ashley RayKlinger.
And on the podcast, you werejust about to become a parent to
sign in your youngest littleguy.
And I mean, how emotional to bein that stage in your life,
(13:03):
waiting for this little boy.
And I mean, he is just thecutest little guy.
Can you talk a little bit moreabout that, that time?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yes.
And I am, I am biased I'm sure,but he is just the cutest and
happiest little guy.
I just can't tell you.
Oh my gosh, definitely.
I mean, after the surgeries, wealready had fertility issues
with our first son and then wewent back to kind of just check
everything out.
Once I was feeling a littlebetter and found out that the
surgeries had blocked myfallopian tubes.
(13:32):
So we were not, or we're notgoing to take those risks, both
my health and for the baby to gothe reproductive health route.
So we decided it was on both ofour hearts to go through the
adoption process.
We ended up creating a site onour own to try to connect with a
birth mom through the network ofour family and friends.
And we were lucky enough to dothat.
(13:53):
And a friend of mine from highschool, who I hadn't seen in
years reached out to me andsaid, I have somebody that just
messaged me and asked if I knewof any resources.
Um, she was looking to adopt andshe ended up connecting us and
it was such a blessing to havethat connection from somebody I
hadn't talked to in years.
(14:14):
And it's just incredible what,when you put something out in
the universe and it comes inyour direction and we met her
probably in her third trimester,and so, uh, helped her through,
you know, the end of pregnancyand things like that.
And, um, originally she didn'twant to be open and now has
adjusted to, to switching that.
And we talk every other week alittle bit, just kind of check
(14:37):
in here and there, but, um, havecultivated a good relationship
with her where we can hopefullystay in touch and, and build on
where he came from and hisfamily and, and who he is.
And that's really what our goalis for Simon's to just make sure
that he has those opportunitiesto, um, dig in if and when he
(14:57):
wants to.
So it was a long and exhausting,stressful, and beautiful
process.
All at the same time,
Speaker 3 (15:06):
I have tears, just such a beautiful and precious
gift.
All right, Carly, let'stransition and talk about bio
girls and the impact that hasmade in your life and what
you're doing with the program.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah.
I started out somebody, um, hadconnected me to Missy Heilman,
our executive director, and wemet and talked for probably
three hours, never met eachother and just clicked.
And she talked about theorganization.
I wanted to get involved almostimmediately.
And so I started out being amentor at the site that she
(15:43):
runs.
If you don't know what bio girlsis, it's an organization that
helps improve the self-esteem ofadolescent girls through
empowerment of their self andservice to others.
So it's an amazing program thathelps build their confidence and
choose to be kind and inclusiveof others.
And it's a 12 week program wherewe get to do large group
(16:04):
discussion, and then they get tobreak into these smaller groups
with mentors like myself, and600 volunteers that we have
across the five States that wecover.
And it's incredible to watchthem grow and become vulnerable
and make friendships in such anon competitive environment
where they feel safe andvulnerable to connect with
(16:26):
others.
So, um, I guess I started yeah,as a mentor and then decided to
bring it to my own church thefollowing year.
So co-directed a site with a nowgreat friend of mine, Brittany
default, and have never lookedback, ended up leaving corporate
America to come now work forthis mission, which is still
just like a pinch me moment forme, because I can't believe I do
(16:48):
this for my job, if you will,it's hard to call it that.
But, um, it's been incredibleimpact in my life.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
I need a second, Tim, Ising her and the CEO of Freon
Carlson center.
And he was talking about mentorsand he mentioned just the
importance of mentors in hislife.
And that hit me, you know, notjust mentors as were young,
younger girls, but mentorsthroughout our whole or whole
life span to help us if we areunsure of aspects of our journey
(17:19):
or if we are struggling orlooking for a pivot, you know,
to have those mentors comealongside us.
And, you know, I wanted to talkto you about, you know,
obviously the importance ofmentorship and bio girls, but
mentors in your own life.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah.
It's so funny that you bringthat up because we were just
talking about that internally asan organization of, you know,
this is more than just buildingtheir self-esteem.
This is giving them the tools tohave healthy relationships into
adulthood.
And to say, yes, I can go afterthat dream and not be afraid to
(17:55):
fail.
And we kind of look back ineverywhere that we've gotten in
our age and, and beyond therewas that person in your life
that gave you that yes, thatgave you that encouragement,
that made you feel like that'sthe route you should take and go
after it.
And that's the basis of whatwe're giving this next
generation of young girls to befemale leaders and dreamers for
(18:19):
the next generations to come.
And we were just talking aboutthat and how that impacts
greater into their adulthood.
And somebody for me as growingup, her name is Nikki Peterson.
Um, Nikki better her maidenname.
And, you know, I was friendswith her sister and kind of grew
up watching them.
And they're just a long line ofathletic ability of crazy and
(18:43):
just very kind sisters.
And she was my coach.
I didn't have that last namewhen you're growing up.
And you're competing with to tryto get a spot in something that
you want to pursue.
And she, I remember her justbeing like, you might not have
the name, but you have the workethic and you need to just work
harder than anybody else.
(19:04):
And she really gave me thatencouragement to not worry about
the politics and the who you'recompeting against and just
compete against yourself and getbetter every single day.
And I'll never forget that withher because she really taught me
to work harder than everybodyelse get there earlier, leave
there later and also be acheerleader for the people
(19:26):
around you don't feel likeyou're competing with them,
compete with yourself.
And so hearing that message at,you know, in a middle school age
was pivotal for me, um, to notfeel like I was competing with
my own friends and which I can'teven imagine what the girls are
going through in this day andage, because it seems even
harder to get over thatobstacle.
(19:47):
So she definitely is somebodythat made that impact on me.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
All right.
I love asking this question toevery gas because it always
surprises me.
What is something you thinkeveryone should do at least once
in their life?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Well, this is going to bring out the class X that I
am, but I, I really think thateverybody should have to think
karaoke once in their life andwhether you're a good singer or
an awful singer is just, I thinkit's a Rite of passage.
Um, an adrenaline rush for you,whether, you know, you're the
(20:24):
worst singer in the world or thebest.
I just think it's a funexperience and gets you out of
your comfort zone.
I I'm through and through akaraoke lovers.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
That's so great.
Curly who inspires you
Speaker 1 (20:38):
So many different phases of life that have brought
inspiration?
My parents to start with havealways taught both my sister and
I to work very hard, to make ourown way.
And that's what they did andtaught that to us at a very
young age and has really been,um, the basis of everything that
(20:58):
I've accomplished throughout myyears.
They definitely have been aninspiration to me.
And now I, this probably soundscheesy, but my kid he's four
years old, but he lives withsuch an old soul and makes you
think of what life is reallyabout.
Again, just see it through akid's eyes and to not take life.
(21:20):
So seriously, he's just got sucha kind heart already with his
friends and the people that he'saround.
He just, he's very inspiring atsuch a young age.
It's, it's weird to say, but hedefinitely does that.
I love how you
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Phrased it in the different spots
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Of my life.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
As we close, is there anything else you would like to
add?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Honestly, I just keep, always going back to just,
if you are willing to share yourstory and to open up and be
vulnerable to the people aroundyou, the abundance of good
fortune and people andconnection that can come to your
life because of it is justincredible to experience
personally, and to watch forothers.
So I always just love to try toencourage that and to not
(22:07):
downplay things that you havelearned in that you could help
others with.
So definitely
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Don't downplay your abilities.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yep.
I completely agree.
Oh my God.
That was so fun.
Thank you so much for, yeah,seriously.
And, and same thing.
I wish I would have said thisright at the time, but what you
are doing and the messages thatyou're sharing, not only with
our community, but with, witheverybody is inspiring and
(22:38):
should never be downplayedbecause I've learned so much
about the people in my ownbackyard that I never would've
known about or been inspired by.
And there's so many people doingso many good things right here
in our community.
That just aren't shared enough.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Thank you.
Yeah.
Well, thank you.
I love it.
Hey, thanks so much forlistening in today.
If you would like to learn moreabout Carly bio girls and create
your crew, check out the shownotes on glazing grid,
podcast.com.
Also, if you enjoyed thisepisode, please let us know by
subscribing rating and sharing.
(23:17):
Thank you so much for listening.
I'm Jesse winter ravage, talk toyou soon.
If you are willing to share your story and to open up
and be vulnerable to the peoplearound you, the abundance of
good fortune and people andconnection that can come to your
life because of it is justincredible to experience
personally, and to watch forothers.
So I always just love to try toencourage that into not downplay
(00:22):
things that you have learned andthat you could help others.
Speaker 2 (00:29):
Glaze glazing grit is a podcast where honest and real
conversations are front andcenter.
A conversation we're Fargo,Morehead, area, business owners,
thought leaders, advocates, andvisionaries share their lessons
learned and provide a freshperspective to better inform and
support you in your journey.
It's about sharing the realstory to inspire lead and
(00:51):
encourage.
All right here in my backyard ofFargo, North Dakota, it all
starts with a conversation andhonest one.
I'm Jessie, winter ravage, andthis is glaze and grit.
Speaker 3 (01:06):
My next guest is Carly mock, the director of
mission development with biogirls and impressive nonprofit
organization spanning across theMidwest whose focus is building
self-worth in girls.
She's also the founder ofcreature crew, a blog where
Carly shares her personalexperiences with motherhood,
relationships, career, andhealth to provide an inclusive
(01:29):
and welcoming space for others.
Carly's journey has taken her onseveral life altering and
life-threatening circumstances.
One being diagnosed withulcerative colitis in auto
immune disease that affects thelower digestive tract.
We discussed the need forcommunity.
The strength of persevering inthe worst of moments, the
(01:49):
importance of mentors and lifepivots here is one honest
conversation from one mama toanother here's Carly Mach.
Hi, Carly, how are you?
Speaker 1 (02:02):
I'm doing good.
It's been like one thing afteranother and in such a good way,
had a lot of people in mycorner, kind of connecting me
with other people.
So it's been good.
Speaker 3 (02:11):
It seems like you are such a connector.
I just love it.
Speaker 1 (02:15):
Oh gosh.
I honestly I'm like that whenI'm meeting with people that are
connecting me with others, I'mlike, I think this is ultimately
what I, I want to be that forsomebody else down the road,
like, that's my ultimate.
I just, I think there's so muchvalue in that and being able to
help others with, Oh, I knowsomebody that will be able to
help you.
I just, I love that people aredoing that for me and I would
(02:36):
love to do that for others, but
Speaker 3 (02:38):
Yeah.
And that's one of the things Iwant to touch on too, but since
we're on the topic, I think thatwould be good.
I want to get your thoughtscurrently on this, because I
know we're both in our thirties,I'm 34, 33 34,
Speaker 1 (02:49):
Right.
33 33.
Speaker 3 (02:51):
And you know, coming back to Fargo, um, after being
gone for, you know, nine, 10years in my thirties, there's so
much of a community with womenhere.
And so many women are doing justincredible things.
And I feel like in my twenties,I wouldn't have had the courage
or the confidence to just getout and connect with people, you
(03:12):
know, I want to do in mythirties.
And I think it took me gettinginto my thirties to be like,
Hey, we're all in the same boat.
We're just trying to, you know,make it
Speaker 1 (03:21):
Exactly.
Yeah.
I agree with you.
I completely agree with you.
I, especially growing up herehave always had friendships that
have lasted throughout the yearsand luckily have those carried
into adulthood.
And so I've always kind ofrelied on them, but, and tell, I
kind of started branching out onmy own and we're all going
(03:43):
through different seasons atdifferent times.
You know, you start to gravitatein different directions and, um,
hate to say lose touch, but youdo a little bit with some
people.
And until I started being morevulnerable and open and willing
to share some of the hardshipsand struggles that we were going
through is really when I startedto cultivate new relationships
(04:07):
with people who had similargoals and visions, or that maybe
have gone through the samethings as me and have really
gained new connection andfriendships with people.
I never would have been able tomeet.
Had I not done that.
I'm such a firm believer in, intelling your story because we
all have one and it doesn'tmatter if it's drastic or is it
(04:30):
something small, but if you'rewilling to share it and not only
might help somebody else, but itmight build you a new friendship
and connection that you neverwould have had.
Speaker 3 (04:40):
I completely agree.
And that's one of the things Iadmire about you so much is that
you do step out and you makeyour voice heard and you're
vulnerable and honest and yeah,you develop such richer
relationships.
Speaker 1 (04:53):
Yeah.
And honestly, the people thatconnect to your story are
people.
Sometimes you would have neverguessed.
And that's just the irony andeverything is that every single
person is going throughsomething.
And I cannot say it enough thatwhen we're walking down the
street, every single person hasa story behind their eyes.
Whether they're showing thatsmile or not, there is a song
(05:15):
that always hits me and therewas like a lyric in it that says
I'm not special.
I'm just like everybody else.
And even though your story mightbe a little more difficult than
somebody else's, they might'vegone through, we're not special.
Like every single person is morealike than we give ourselves
credit for.
If you just are willing to openup, for sure
Speaker 3 (05:38):
That segues a bit into create your crew, because I
know a lot of what you're doingand you know, the premise behind
glaze and grit and justcommunity and belonging are
tied.
So do you want to touch on thepremise behind creature crew?
Speaker 1 (05:54):
Sure.
I honestly I have loved towrite.
Um, I was not always the beststudent because I was always
doing this, which talking andnot paying attention, but I
always had a passion forEnglish.
I loved writing.
I loved telling the story.
When I got sick a few yearsback, I was diagnosed with
(06:15):
ulcerative colitis and it tookmyself and my family on a
completely different path.
Um, now when I look back, ofcourse, I would never want to go
through the things I wentthrough at the time.
However, I can not tell you howmany things have come into my
life because of it, includingour most recent fun Simon.
(06:37):
So there's so many things thatwould have never come into my
life.
Had I not gone through that andcreate your crew came about
after I went through a long ninemonths of really hard time with
my health and my family goingthrough it, I came out of it,
just kind of having that midlifecrisis moment of what am I
(06:58):
doing?
And I am not leaving thefootprint of what I thought I
would.
And kind of having that deathknock on your door moment of
what if I would have left here,what did I make an impact on the
sides of the people in my homeand in my family?
And so I just started writingand wanting to have a place
where I could be vulnerable andshare things that I had gone
(07:19):
through in the way that I cameout of them to try to bring
community and inspiration toothers.
And so just creating that placeto be safe and vulnerable and to
share within our struggles waskind of how that came about,
which really just led me oneafter another to new connection
and new people and ultimatelyleaving corporate America and
(07:40):
following my passion afterfinding bile.
Girls
Speaker 3 (07:42):
Love that.
And I know I definitely want totouch on bio girls before we do.
Can you share a little bit moreabout what happened three years
ago?
Speaker 1 (07:52):
Yeah.
And I always liked to tell thisstory just for awareness in
general, because I mean, I hadour first son Dawson in 2016.
I have to think there for asecond.
And, um, it wasn't only maybefour or five months later.
I started having blood in mystool.
(08:13):
And for, like I said, I'm anopen book, so I just go straight
to it.
But really I thought that wasnormal.
I did not know that that justdoesn't come with childbirth.
I had no idea.
Um, I just thought that was partof the post labor situation.
And, uh, you know, a few monthswent by, went away.
It came back until almost a yearinto my son's life.
(08:34):
It came and it never left.
Then I thought, okay, this is aproblem.
And I went to my doctor, she hadrecommended I get a scope.
And from there I was diagnosedwith ulcerative colitis in
October of 2018.
And probably it was only 30 daysfrom that where I was diagnosed
with a moderate case and turn toa very severe case, um, and was
(08:57):
hospitalized for about 30 daysover Christmas and with a new
baby.
And it was a very difficult timefor, and it's not just myself,
my entire family was affectedand we went through a lot of
treatments that are supposed tohelp and are supposed to fix
this issue.
And it just wasn't working forme.
So I ended up having a series ofthree surgeries and lived with a
(09:20):
temporary stoma for about fivemonths or so at the age of 30
and was like, w woke up fromthat surgery feeling a hundred
times better than I went intoit.
However, had that moment of whatis happening.
You know, this is my reality.
Uh, you know, I kind of woke upfrom that haze of just make me
(09:41):
better too.
Oh, wow.
Like this is life changing forme right now and ended up
reversing the stoma and happilyhaving that third surgery and
lucky to have it.
So basically created a fakecolon if you will, and have been
living with that kind of for thelast two years, but still have
issues.
And I remember very specificallyand I tell this because I, it
(10:03):
really set in for me.
I was going through the motionsof just make me feel better, get
this pain gone, where it wasprobably a year afterwards, not
even, um, we were with friendsand somebody asked my husband,
what were you thinking duringall of this?
I mean, he had my son, he was myrock.
He never wavered, never showedto me that he was overly worried
(10:25):
and he had replied to them.
I thought she was going to die.
And I, at that moment have thatclarity of how much it affected
him as well as myself and justwas like, I need to use this
moment of rebirth if you will.
And redirection for somethingmore than what I'm doing.
(10:46):
And so that really laid out thenext three years of bringing in
our adopted son and changingcareer paths because of the
volunteer work I was doing withthem already and not ashamed to
say it, but I did not volunteeroutside of my home.
I was in the sick of trying toget pregnant, then getting
pregnant and having a kid andthen health.
And I was like, what am I doingfor my community?
(11:08):
And it wasn't a lot finding thatoutlet of mentoring young girls
was life-changing for me.
Speaker 3 (11:15):
Wow.
Thank you for sharing.
Just can't even imagine it.
And I was watching a segment, anew segment where you would go
into the hospital and give back,you know, because that was so
impactful for you.
And I just remember seeing thatolder woman, you know, and how,
how much you just touched her.
And it was just like, Oh, justbeing able to do that is so
(11:38):
precious.
Speaker 1 (11:39):
Yeah.
That was probably the darkestmoment of everything for me was
Christmas day.
I was, and I can't imagine itnow, like, and I will do that
same thing this year.
I mean, it's only to one personwho's in the, on Christmas, but
it means so much to myself andmy family, because I just
(11:59):
imagine yourself on Christmasday and your family comes to
visit, and then they're like,see you later.
And you're sitting there in thehospital by yourself and your
husband and your two year oldson are going to church and
going to be with family and openpresents.
And it was not a big celebrationfor them that you're in, if you
could imagine.
(12:19):
Um, but I remember breaking downand I hadn't really cried in the
hospital, but I remember a nursesitting on the bed with me and
holding me, crying for probablya good half an hour.
And she just let me do it.
And I cannot appreciate thenurses as much as I like.
It's just the amount of workthat they do outside of their
scope of work is justincredible.
Speaker 3 (12:40):
Wow.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You know, you talked about youryoungest son, Simon, and I was
listening to one of your mostrecent podcast interviews on BFS
or podcasts with Ashley RayKlinger.
And on the podcast, you werejust about to become a parent to
sign in your youngest littleguy.
And I mean, how emotional to bein that stage in your life,
(13:03):
waiting for this little boy.
And I mean, he is just thecutest little guy.
Can you talk a little bit moreabout that, that time?
Speaker 1 (13:12):
Yes.
And I am, I am biased I'm sure,but he is just the cutest and
happiest little guy.
I just can't tell you.
Oh my gosh, definitely.
I mean, after the surgeries, wealready had fertility issues
with our first son and then wewent back to kind of just check
everything out.
Once I was feeling a littlebetter and found out that the
surgeries had blocked myfallopian tubes.
(13:32):
So we were not, or we're notgoing to take those risks, both
my health and for the baby to gothe reproductive health route.
So we decided it was on both ofour hearts to go through the
adoption process.
We ended up creating a site onour own to try to connect with a
birth mom through the network ofour family and friends.
And we were lucky enough to dothat.
(13:53):
And a friend of mine from highschool, who I hadn't seen in
years reached out to me andsaid, I have somebody that just
messaged me and asked if I knewof any resources.
Um, she was looking to adopt andshe ended up connecting us and
it was such a blessing to havethat connection from somebody I
hadn't talked to in years.
(14:14):
And it's just incredible what,when you put something out in
the universe and it comes inyour direction and we met her
probably in her third trimester,and so, uh, helped her through,
you know, the end of pregnancyand things like that.
And, um, originally she didn'twant to be open and now has
adjusted to, to switching that.
And we talk every other week alittle bit, just kind of check
(14:37):
in here and there, but, um, havecultivated a good relationship
with her where we can hopefullystay in touch and, and build on
where he came from and hisfamily and, and who he is.
And that's really what our goalis for Simon's to just make sure
that he has those opportunitiesto, um, dig in if and when he
(14:57):
wants to.
So it was a long and exhausting,stressful, and beautiful
process.
All at the same time,
Speaker 3 (15:06):
I have tears, just such a beautiful and precious
gift.
All right, Carly, let'stransition and talk about bio
girls and the impact that hasmade in your life and what
you're doing with the program.
Speaker 1 (15:21):
Yeah.
I started out somebody, um, hadconnected me to Missy Heilman,
our executive director, and wemet and talked for probably
three hours, never met eachother and just clicked.
And she talked about theorganization.
I wanted to get involved almostimmediately.
And so I started out being amentor at the site that she
(15:43):
runs.
If you don't know what bio girlsis, it's an organization that
helps improve the self-esteem ofadolescent girls through
empowerment of their self andservice to others.
So it's an amazing program thathelps build their confidence and
choose to be kind and inclusiveof others.
And it's a 12 week program wherewe get to do large group
(16:04):
discussion, and then they get tobreak into these smaller groups
with mentors like myself, and600 volunteers that we have
across the five States that wecover.
And it's incredible to watchthem grow and become vulnerable
and make friendships in such anon competitive environment
where they feel safe andvulnerable to connect with
(16:26):
others.
So, um, I guess I started yeah,as a mentor and then decided to
bring it to my own church thefollowing year.
So co-directed a site with a nowgreat friend of mine, Brittany
default, and have never lookedback, ended up leaving corporate
America to come now work forthis mission, which is still
just like a pinch me moment forme, because I can't believe I do
(16:48):
this for my job, if you will,it's hard to call it that.
But, um, it's been incredibleimpact in my life.
Speaker 3 (16:56):
I need a second, Tim, Ising her and the CEO of Freon
Carlson center.
And he was talking about mentorsand he mentioned just the
importance of mentors in hislife.
And that hit me, you know, notjust mentors as were young,
younger girls, but mentorsthroughout our whole or whole
life span to help us if we areunsure of aspects of our journey
(17:19):
or if we are struggling orlooking for a pivot, you know,
to have those mentors comealongside us.
And, you know, I wanted to talkto you about, you know,
obviously the importance ofmentorship and bio girls, but
mentors in your own life.
Speaker 1 (17:33):
Yeah.
It's so funny that you bringthat up because we were just
talking about that internally asan organization of, you know,
this is more than just buildingtheir self-esteem.
This is giving them the tools tohave healthy relationships into
adulthood.
And to say, yes, I can go afterthat dream and not be afraid to
(17:55):
fail.
And we kind of look back ineverywhere that we've gotten in
our age and, and beyond therewas that person in your life
that gave you that yes, thatgave you that encouragement,
that made you feel like that'sthe route you should take and go
after it.
And that's the basis of whatwe're giving this next
generation of young girls to befemale leaders and dreamers for
(18:19):
the next generations to come.
And we were just talking aboutthat and how that impacts
greater into their adulthood.
And somebody for me as growingup, her name is Nikki Peterson.
Um, Nikki better her maidenname.
And, you know, I was friendswith her sister and kind of grew
up watching them.
And they're just a long line ofathletic ability of crazy and
(18:43):
just very kind sisters.
And she was my coach.
I didn't have that last namewhen you're growing up.
And you're competing with to tryto get a spot in something that
you want to pursue.
And she, I remember her justbeing like, you might not have
the name, but you have the workethic and you need to just work
harder than anybody else.
(19:04):
And she really gave me thatencouragement to not worry about
the politics and the who you'recompeting against and just
compete against yourself and getbetter every single day.
And I'll never forget that withher because she really taught me
to work harder than everybodyelse get there earlier, leave
there later and also be acheerleader for the people
(19:26):
around you don't feel likeyou're competing with them,
compete with yourself.
And so hearing that message at,you know, in a middle school age
was pivotal for me, um, to notfeel like I was competing with
my own friends and which I can'teven imagine what the girls are
going through in this day andage, because it seems even
harder to get over thatobstacle.
(19:47):
So she definitely is somebodythat made that impact on me.
Speaker 3 (19:53):
All right.
I love asking this question toevery gas because it always
surprises me.
What is something you thinkeveryone should do at least once
in their life?
Speaker 1 (20:02):
Well, this is going to bring out the class X that I
am, but I, I really think thateverybody should have to think
karaoke once in their life andwhether you're a good singer or
an awful singer is just, I thinkit's a Rite of passage.
Um, an adrenaline rush for you,whether, you know, you're the
(20:24):
worst singer in the world or thebest.
I just think it's a funexperience and gets you out of
your comfort zone.
I I'm through and through akaraoke lovers.
Speaker 3 (20:34):
That's so great.
Curly who inspires you
Speaker 1 (20:38):
So many different phases of life that have brought
inspiration?
My parents to start with havealways taught both my sister and
I to work very hard, to make ourown way.
And that's what they did andtaught that to us at a very
young age and has really been,um, the basis of everything that
(20:58):
I've accomplished throughout myyears.
They definitely have been aninspiration to me.
And now I, this probably soundscheesy, but my kid he's four
years old, but he lives withsuch an old soul and makes you
think of what life is reallyabout.
Again, just see it through akid's eyes and to not take life.
(21:20):
So seriously, he's just got sucha kind heart already with his
friends and the people that he'saround.
He just, he's very inspiring atsuch a young age.
It's, it's weird to say, but hedefinitely does that.
I love how you
Speaker 2 (21:34):
Phrased it in the different spots
Speaker 1 (21:36):
Of my life.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (21:39):
As we close, is there anything else you would like to
add?
Speaker 1 (21:43):
Honestly, I just keep, always going back to just,
if you are willing to share yourstory and to open up and be
vulnerable to the people aroundyou, the abundance of good
fortune and people andconnection that can come to your
life because of it is justincredible to experience
personally, and to watch forothers.
So I always just love to try toencourage that and to not
(22:07):
downplay things that you havelearned in that you could help
others with.
So definitely
Speaker 2 (22:12):
Don't downplay your abilities.
Speaker 1 (22:15):
Yep.
I completely agree.
Oh my God.
That was so fun.
Thank you so much for, yeah,seriously.
And, and same thing.
I wish I would have said thisright at the time, but what you
are doing and the messages thatyou're sharing, not only with
our community, but with, witheverybody is inspiring and
(22:38):
should never be downplayedbecause I've learned so much
about the people in my ownbackyard that I never would've
known about or been inspired by.
And there's so many people doingso many good things right here
in our community.
That just aren't shared enough.
Speaker 2 (22:55):
Thank you.
Yeah.
Well, thank you.
I love it.
Hey, thanks so much forlistening in today.
If you would like to learn moreabout Carly bio girls and create
your crew, check out the shownotes on glazing grid,
podcast.com.
Also, if you enjoyed thisepisode, please let us know by
subscribing rating and sharing.
(23:17):
Thank you so much for listening.
I'm Jesse winter ravage, talk toyou soon.
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