September 14, 2020 • 22 mins
Kathy Schommer is the founder and owner of Fargo Mom, a locally-focused parenting website that was launched in January 2020 written by Fargo moms, for Fargo moms.
Kathy’s professional journey began in marketing and communications along with earning her master’s degree in Social Work. Her work helping children and families, dedicating her time to organizations supporting mothers, along with being a mother herself led to the passion of forming Fargo Mom in 2019.
Kathy is an incredibly talented woman, with a drive and passion to ensure all moms feel supported in their journey as a mother. Friends, I am looking forward to sharing Kathy’s journey with you. I know you will feel supported and encouraged by her story.
Kathy is mom to three little girls: June, Lucy, and Margot.
“Everyone’s motherhood journey is unique, and no one person can judge someone else for that journey. Support and encouragement help change the world. Judgement and criticism does not.”
— Kathy Schommer
To connect with Kathy and Fargo Mom:
- Website: https://fargo.momcollective.com/
- LinkedIn: Kathy’s Profile
- Instagram: @fargomomco
- Facebook: @fargomomco
- Twitter: @fargmomco
- Pinterest: fargomomco
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Try not to lose too much of yourself in motherhood,
kind of along the lines of,again, focusing on your kids.
Sometimes it's easy to forgetabout things that you enjoy and
things that you like to do.
And so I would definitely tellmoms to, even if it's reading a
book or listening to music oranything that like makes you
(00:20):
feel like you and reminds youeven of your pre-baby self and
who that woman is and who youstill are.
I would really advise moms tocling to that and hang on to
that and pursue your, continueto pursue your hobbies and be
true to who you are
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Plays and grid podcast was founded on the idea
of shattering success,perceptions, and showcasing
authenticity at its core.
It's about sharing our successesand achievements while not
glazing over the grit and hardwork that defined our remarkable
journey.
What emerges through thesecandid conversations is strength
and courage with the rippleeffect of connection and
(01:02):
community.
All right here in my backyard ofFargo, North Dakota, it all
starts with a conversation andhonest one.
I'm Jessie, winter Robbins, andthis is glazing Brit on today's
date
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Episode.
My guest is the founder andowner of Fargo mom, a locally
focused parenting website thatwas launched in January, 2020
written by Fargo moms for Fargomoms.
She is mom of three children,five and under tune Lucy and
Margo.
She's an incredibly talentedwoman with that drive and
passion to ensure all moms feelsupported in their journey.
(01:40):
As a mother friends, I'mthrilled to be able to share
more Kathy's Schommer story withyou.
We dive right in as to why shedecided to step out and start
Fargo.
Mom.
Here's Kathy Schommer Kathy.
Thank you so much for being onthe podcast.
I want to start out by asking,what was the driving factor for
you for starting Fargo?
Mom?
(02:01):
I first got the idea and Ishouldn't even say I got the
idea.
I was living in Jacksonville,Florida prior to moving here to
Fargo.
So just, and we've been here twoyears now and there was a
website in town.
I was in Jacksonville, Florida.
There was a Jacksonville momthere.
I learned more about not onlydid I follow it and use the
resources, user event calendarsto find things to do with kids.
(02:23):
Um, but I started to follow moreabout them.
I did a few writing pieces forthem as well, just as a guest
writer and found out that theyare under a larger parent
network called city momcollective.
And so it's through that network, um, that there are nearly a
hundred sites like Fargo momthroughout the country.
And so I can't, well, I can'ttake the idea for it.
(02:43):
I was inspired while living downthere and feeling so connected
and finding so valuable.
I was inspired to start the samething up here in Fargo.
When we moved here in 2018, Igot a feel for the community and
what if it would be helpful ifit was needed?
And then short years later weare, and it was lunch.
So yeah.
So 30 plus writers, a website tomanage social media, starting a
(03:07):
business.
And this is just on theprofessional side, that those
big buckets, not to mention yourspouse, your stay-at-home mom,
managing a household, your momto five year old twins and a two
year old.
Do you have any tips orstrategies that you've found to
be helpful?
When so many parents times andmoms times are a little tad with
competing priorities, this isgoing to seem like a strange
(03:31):
answer given our currentcircumstances.
But definitely I would say, askfor help.
I know we're in a weird timewhere that maybe is impossible
or maybe looks different if youcan, or if we get to a time
where all things can be a littlemore normal, again, definitely
ask for any and all help thatyou can lean on the people that
(03:51):
are already there supporting youin different areas of your life.
We did have a sitter a littlebit here and there this summer,
which helped.
And, you know, she was just sovaluable to our family.
My parents kind of help out hereand there, but again, being in a
vulnerable category with, withthe pandemic happening, we don't
rely on them too much right nowbecause we want to try and keep
(04:12):
everybody safe, of course, butdefinitely asking for help or
leaning into the health that youalready have there.
And then while I'm trying to begood at it, I would definitely
say time blocking when you can.
You know, when you notice chunksof time to do whether it's
laundry or whether it'ssomething to do with your at
home business or whether it'ssomething to do with your kids
(04:33):
or your family, just kind ofknowing the pockets of time that
you can or want to do things.
And if you're the person likeme, that's very, you know, you
love to do this.
You love being productive.
You like checking things off thelist, even if it's just two or
three things a day, whether it'sstuff at home, again, stuff with
the kids, your stuff for yourjob.
If you just even have lists ofthree things that you can check
(04:56):
off to make yourself feel likeyou did something that they were
productive that day can actuallydo wonders for you to lay your
mental health.
Because as a lot of moms canprobably attest you go through
the day and you're doing amillion things, but yet,
sometimes at the end of the day,you're like, what did I even do
today?
You don't feel like you canaccomplish anything because you
did maybe little bits of a lotof things, but it doesn't always
(05:18):
feel like you did anything big.
And so even if you have thatlist of simple things, checkup
kind of proof for your day, butI did do something today or I
did accomplish this, or I didmake that big step.
And I think she will thatproductivity for the days to
come.
I love all of that.
It seems like the shift happenedin my thirties of seeing a knee
(05:39):
and not just thinking, Oh,someone else will probably have
already thought of this orsomeone else will have done
this, but instead having athought of, well, why not me?
And lead an endeavor or start anew project or a new business.
So I'm wondering for you, whenyou were thinking about this,
did you ever have that?
Well, why not thought?
Or we like, yes, there's thisthere's this need and I'm going
(06:00):
to go for it.
You know what motivated cheetahto really say, raise your hand
and say, yes, I'm going to, I'mgoing to do this because it is a
big endeavor.
It is.
And I still do.
And hadn't been staying homewith my three children prior to
launching the website.
And while I have felt veryprivileged and blessed to be a
(06:23):
stay at home mom, it was not inmy long-term plans as probably
happens to a lot of parents thatstay home life and financial
circumstances kind of guided meto that role.
And I was very thankful to takeit as it many can.
The test is not easy either.
Um, there's a lot of sacrificesand things that you give up to
do that as well.
I always kind of felt a tug well, you know, trying to enjoy time
(06:46):
with my babies and I loved beinghome with them.
I just always had this littlepiece of me that felt tugged to
do, do more or do somethingelse.
I've always been passionateabout community in particular.
Um, I have a background insocial work, so that's really
what, you know, social workerslove is like building community
and connecting people andfinding resources for people.
And so I just always had thislittle part of me that was kind
(07:08):
of tugging to do something else.
And so I segwayed a little bitinto some of that by starting a
postpartum support group while Iwas still living down in
Florida.
And so that was an easy thing todo while home with the kids and,
um, could bring them along withyou group meetings.
And then the more I got involvedwith Jackson bull mom and saw
the potential for when we alwayshad planned to move eventually
(07:30):
saw the potential to dosomething similar in a community
and really add that value to thecommunity.
Especially for moms.
I just thought like said, whynot?
Why not me?
You know, if the opportunity'sthere and I'm blessed to be able
to do it and I can do it fromhome and why not me?
So it just kind of started fromthere attended university of
(07:50):
North Dakota and pursued yourprofessional journey in
marketing and communications.
You worked for a university inthe corporate world before
having a change of heart andreturning to school to earn your
master's degree in social work.
What was that change of heartfor stepping into social work?
I always had wanted to breakinto the nonprofit world in the
kind of that marketing area, um,the business side of the
(08:13):
nonprofit world and was part ofmy motivation for pursuing the
degree, the undergraduate degreethat I did.
And just, you know, I'm sure alot of new college grads can
attest, you know, you, you tendto take the work that comes to
you, especially when you're newin a field.
And so I never did end upmigrating to kind of where my
passion was, but while I waswaiting for that to happen, I
(08:35):
was doing a lot in the communitydoing a lot of volunteer work,
putting myself into otheropportunities that way.
And that's where I was opened upto the world of social work and
realized what soul loves socialworkers to what that work could
look like.
And it just seemed like anatural fit for me.
I actually did like the idea ofsomeday could kind of blend not
(08:56):
only a business background, butalso a social work background
into finding a niche somewhere.
I figured there's a nichesomewhere out there for me.
And I feel like Fargo mom is alittle bit part of that right
now in my journey.
And so it was just a push for meto do something I was more
passionate about and that'sworking with people in the
community and connecting them toeach other to resources they
(09:17):
need.
And helping families is reallywhere my passion lies.
What, how did you end up inJacksonville, Florida?
My husband brought us down therefor his job.
It was a temporary job for fiveyears.
We were down there for, we wereactually living in West Fargo
for a few years, uh, while we'renot from here and attended
school in grand forks, we werehere for two years before we
(09:39):
moved down there.
And so all our families here inNorth Dakota, so it was, it was
hard to leave and then we hadother kids are away as well.
And, um, the interesting thingis in the spring when, when
everything shut well, Ishouldn't say whenever you shut
down, but when we weredistancing from each other is
really where I was reminded alot of what parts of our life
(10:01):
looked like living far away fromfamily.
And it really made me appreciatebeing here again and how much I
value being close to family.
And we have some friends here aswell, and it just reminded me of
how isolating it kind of feltsometimes being so far away down
there.
So we're very happy to be back.
And it's, it's been a good twoyears so far.
We've been back and we're reallyenjoying it.
(10:23):
Kenny even shared with me a verypersonal experience.
Would you mind sharing a littlebit more about that time in your
life?
Sure.
Um, you know, it's interesting.
We did have a couple of years ofinfertility that we went through
before, um, and doing varioustreatments and things like that
until conceiving our twins.
(10:44):
And that is part of, as Imentioned before, what kind of
played into that choice to stayhome to babies in daycare is
obviously twice as much.
And, um, given the, the job Ihad at the time, it just didn't
make sense financially.
So I knew during the pregnancyand given my only my own
(11:05):
previous mental healthexperiences, I tried to be on
the lookout for possible signsand symptoms of postpartum
depression.
And, um, try to really educatemyself and know, you know, try
to know what I was gettingmyself into and then having
twins.
They were early too and had sometime in the NICU.
And I think I just didn't reallytake the time to understand how
(11:27):
much of a transition all of thatwas at one time, all moms can
really attest that you have ababy and then you just, you have
so much focus on the baby andare they healthy and are they
well, and are they sleepingenough and are they eating
enough?
And as moms, we just tend toforget about ourselves
sometimes, and we ignore some ofthose symptoms or those signs
(11:48):
that maybe we're not doing sowell.
I was so focused on the kids andgetting through the day with
them, with the husband who'sworking, you know, 60 plus hours
a week that I just didn't reallythink about myself.
And so, um, and then obviouslyadd in the transition from
working in the same home,especially if you're kind of a
person who likes productivityand to do this.
And it was a little bit hard tohave that transition as well,
(12:10):
which I can attribute some ofthe struggles that I had.
I didn't seek help until thosewere about eight months old.
It was kind of slowly goingdownhill, you know, month after
month until I finally hit a peakwhere I just, I couldn't go on
if I didn't have any help from aprofessional.
And so did finally reach outthanks to some very supportive
(12:31):
friends.
And obviously my, my husband,and kind of started to come out
of a fog after that.
You know, like I said, I, Ithink what always is so
surprising to me when I thinkabout is that I felt like I was
prepared for what could happenand I still blindsided me.
And so I think it's just aTestament that we just tend to
have blinders on after we havebabies and we just focus on
(12:53):
their needs and we forget tofocus on our own.
And I like to try and advocatefor that as much as I can now
for new moms to remember tothink about themselves and take
care of themselves.
I know self-care is such abuzzword, but it's totally
necessary for our own wellbeing,both mentally and physically.
Wow.
Try not to lose too much ofyourself in motherhood, kind of
(13:17):
along the lines of, again,focusing on kids, sometimes it's
easy to forget about things thatyou enjoy and things that you
like to do.
And so I would definitely tellmoms to, even if it's reading a
book or listening to music oranything that like makes you
feel like you and reminds youeven of your pre-baby self and
who that woman is and who youstill are.
(13:40):
I would really advise moms toclean to that and hang onto that
and, and pursue your, continueto pursue your hobbies and be
true to who you are and not justtotally dive into everything.
Mom, even silly things like whenwe're in the car, we don't play
the kids' music.
We don't always do the thingsjust so the kids want to do.
We'll, you know, we'll play themusic that we like.
And while our kids are ourworld, they also have to see you
(14:03):
being true to yourself and beingwho you are and doing the things
that you enjoy.
I love that Kathy, I loved yourrecent posts on Instagram
regarding a camping experience.
Yeah.
Can you share what that learningexperience was for you?
You know, I had this light bulbmoment or like the shower
thought, I thought, well, Icould capture like this whole
(14:24):
camping trip for the weekend andwhat it's like and how tiring it
is and this and that andpacking.
And it didn't happen becausewhen you have three young kids
you're camping with, you're justworried about making sure
everyone has all the things andall the snacks and all the food
and all the gear.
And then we got there and it waslike 90 degrees.
And we're just trying to keepeverybody happy while we set up
our tent.
(14:44):
And, you know, it's just onething after another, any travel
with young children isexhausting.
And so I just kind had thismoment Saturday, where I'm just
like, this is, this isridiculous, but I'll also
probably pretty relatablebecause I think this is what we
do for our kids.
We do these exhausting thingsthat sometimes we wonder how fun
it really is, but then we knowthat they're having a great time
(15:06):
and that's, I guess that's thewhole goal.
And that's all that matters.
And of course we had fun too,but you know, those little
nuggets of time where everyone'swinding and everyone's tired and
everyone's hungry and you justhave this moment, like, was this
a good idea?
But ultimately it was, andeveryone had fun and you make
the memories and you have thephotos and you can look back on
(15:27):
all that.
And it brings all those memoriesback.
And so it's still a good thingto do.
Still find the joy and take thattrip.
Well, it hit me when you said, Isee how hard you work to make
memories for your kids.
I know how exhausting it all is.
And let's check me is the makingmemories for your kids, because
there are those feelings of I'min failing at this, not just
(15:50):
this one, picture, your firstsalmon with a smile it's this
whole experience.
And the funny thing is before Ihad posted that picture, we had
taken a hike with our kids,which was entirely too long for
their little bodies and theywere whining and complaining for
most of it.
And then when we get home and weask what their favorite part of
(16:11):
the weekend was, of course theysay, Ooh, went on that hike.
And I answered each other.
And even though it may seem likethey're not having fun or like
things are really difficult orexhausting, their lens is so
different.
And they think back in the, theyremember the happy times.
They don't hopefully, alwaysremember the times mom and dad
were frustrated or this or that.
(16:32):
They remember the fun thing.
Then they remember how much funit was to be together and all
the fun things you did.
I would just encourage parentsto have a little go a little bit
easy on themselves, even if itwasn't, you know, a picture
perfect trip that their kidswill still remember the fun that
they had inspires you for sure.
My own mom.
I know that's probably prettycliche to say that, but she, you
(16:55):
know, she's actually, it was, itwas a social worker she's
retired now.
And the funny thing is she,wasn't the person that pushed me
to go into the field.
I would see her doing her work.
I saw how passionate she was forher own community.
And she would get us involvedin, you know, different
nonprofits and fundraisers or,um, community meal programs.
(17:17):
You know, she encouraged us todo all these things with her.
I just saw that more as who shewas.
I didn't really think of it aslike, this is from job and it
was just kind of who she was andhow much she cared and how
passionate she was and for thepeople around us.
And so by far, she's not only inmotherhood, but also just in
life in general, definitelyinspired me.
(17:40):
What is something you thinkeveryone should do at least once
in their life visiting somewherewhere you can just truly
appreciate just the around you.
And that can be somewhere assimple as you know, we have
state parks within, you know,two hours from here, something
as simple as that, even we wentto Glen to those state park for
(18:01):
a camping trip, and that was alittle over an hour away.
So I think anytime you can justbe somewhere that you can really
appreciate how beautiful ourworld is, especially in a time
like now when I dunno, it's soeasy to get bogged down with
what isn't going well and whatis really yucky.
I think it's a good reminder tohave even just once in your
lifetime, if that more thanthat, can you share a piece of
(18:23):
advice you've learned thus faron your journey?
There's always room for empathyand grace.
In most situations, I hear a lotof people talk about those,
this, especially lately with alot of the negativity that is
going on mainly in our country,but also in our world.
And I just think there's alwaysroom for those things.
(18:43):
There's always room for kindnessand to be kind to people and try
and understand what they'regoing through or how their
experience might be differentthan yours or how their journey
might be different than yours.
And I think that's somethingmoms in particular can always do
more of I'm sure you've heard,you know, the mom shaming or as
moms.
Sometimes you can not be so kindto each other because there's a
(19:06):
lot of judgment that can happen.
And honestly, I feel in myexperience because I've not been
immune to it, of course either,but when I have those moments
and I reflect on it, honestly, alot of that judgment is more of
my own insecurity or my ownworries as a mother that gets
projected out onto somebodyelse.
I think just taking the time tounderstand that someone else's
(19:28):
journey is not your own someoneelse's choices are going to be
different than yours.
And that's okay at the end ofthe day, what is your finish
line?
I don't know if I have one yet,to be honest, I've always when
I, especially when I returned toschool for social work degree
and to be in that career, I didalways, you know, a lot of my
(19:51):
jobs too.
I liked fulfilling these.
So if I see something, you know,I'm part of my, mom's an example
of that.
If I feel like there's a need inthe community for something or
there's room in the community tofit this in and to help people
or to create a resource, I wantto do that.
And I feel like I've done thatin smaller ways.
And some of the jobs I've had,especially in social work.
And so ultimately I guess I hadto name a finish line.
(20:14):
I would love to find a biggerneed and maybe even starting
nonprofits day, I don't havethat finish line.
Cause I don't know what thatwould be yet.
I think it's something that justover time as we see if there's
any gaps in the community, maybethat would guide me in a certain
direction.
So Kathy, if you're okay, I'dlove to end our time with a
little lightning round ofquestions.
(20:34):
Okay.
All right.
You ready?
I think so.
Passenger, passenger cookies orbrownies cookies.
I know you love coffee.
So how do you take it a littlebit?
I have now what do you do torelax, read shoes or bang a
(20:55):
trend you would like to see goneforever?
Oh my gosh.
That's a hard one.
I don't want to say like Tik TOKor some of those.
I don't know if I'm on boardwith them yet.
Perfect.
Date night, going to an outdoorconcert, followed by a local
brewery.
Love it.
The chess or checkers.
And I say neither wine ormartini wine.
(21:20):
Thank you.
Thanks so much for coming on.
Well, thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
A lot of fun.
I appreciate it.
If you would like to learn moreabout glaze and grit and the
incredible community leadersthat are highlighted on the
show, join the conversationwhere you listen to your
podcasts and please subscribe,rate, and share.
You can also follow the glazinggrid journey on glazing grid,
(21:48):
podcast.com.
I'm Jesse[inaudible].
And thanks for listening to thisepisode.
Talk to you soon.
Try not to lose too much of yourself in motherhood,
kind of along the lines of,again, focusing on your kids.
Sometimes it's easy to forgetabout things that you enjoy and
things that you like to do.
And so I would definitely tellmoms to, even if it's reading a
book or listening to music oranything that like makes you
(00:20):
feel like you and reminds youeven of your pre-baby self and
who that woman is and who youstill are.
I would really advise moms tocling to that and hang on to
that and pursue your, continueto pursue your hobbies and be
true to who you are
Speaker 2 (00:40):
Plays and grid podcast was founded on the idea
of shattering success,perceptions, and showcasing
authenticity at its core.
It's about sharing our successesand achievements while not
glazing over the grit and hardwork that defined our remarkable
journey.
What emerges through thesecandid conversations is strength
and courage with the rippleeffect of connection and
(01:02):
community.
All right here in my backyard ofFargo, North Dakota, it all
starts with a conversation andhonest one.
I'm Jessie, winter Robbins, andthis is glazing Brit on today's
date
Speaker 1 (01:18):
Episode.
My guest is the founder andowner of Fargo mom, a locally
focused parenting website thatwas launched in January, 2020
written by Fargo moms for Fargomoms.
She is mom of three children,five and under tune Lucy and
Margo.
She's an incredibly talentedwoman with that drive and
passion to ensure all moms feelsupported in their journey.
(01:40):
As a mother friends, I'mthrilled to be able to share
more Kathy's Schommer story withyou.
We dive right in as to why shedecided to step out and start
Fargo.
Mom.
Here's Kathy Schommer Kathy.
Thank you so much for being onthe podcast.
I want to start out by asking,what was the driving factor for
you for starting Fargo?
Mom?
(02:01):
I first got the idea and Ishouldn't even say I got the
idea.
I was living in Jacksonville,Florida prior to moving here to
Fargo.
So just, and we've been here twoyears now and there was a
website in town.
I was in Jacksonville, Florida.
There was a Jacksonville momthere.
I learned more about not onlydid I follow it and use the
resources, user event calendarsto find things to do with kids.
(02:23):
Um, but I started to follow moreabout them.
I did a few writing pieces forthem as well, just as a guest
writer and found out that theyare under a larger parent
network called city momcollective.
And so it's through that network, um, that there are nearly a
hundred sites like Fargo momthroughout the country.
And so I can't, well, I can'ttake the idea for it.
(02:43):
I was inspired while living downthere and feeling so connected
and finding so valuable.
I was inspired to start the samething up here in Fargo.
When we moved here in 2018, Igot a feel for the community and
what if it would be helpful ifit was needed?
And then short years later weare, and it was lunch.
So yeah.
So 30 plus writers, a website tomanage social media, starting a
(03:07):
business.
And this is just on theprofessional side, that those
big buckets, not to mention yourspouse, your stay-at-home mom,
managing a household, your momto five year old twins and a two
year old.
Do you have any tips orstrategies that you've found to
be helpful?
When so many parents times andmoms times are a little tad with
competing priorities, this isgoing to seem like a strange
(03:31):
answer given our currentcircumstances.
But definitely I would say, askfor help.
I know we're in a weird timewhere that maybe is impossible
or maybe looks different if youcan, or if we get to a time
where all things can be a littlemore normal, again, definitely
ask for any and all help thatyou can lean on the people that
(03:51):
are already there supporting youin different areas of your life.
We did have a sitter a littlebit here and there this summer,
which helped.
And, you know, she was just sovaluable to our family.
My parents kind of help out hereand there, but again, being in a
vulnerable category with, withthe pandemic happening, we don't
rely on them too much right nowbecause we want to try and keep
(04:12):
everybody safe, of course, butdefinitely asking for help or
leaning into the health that youalready have there.
And then while I'm trying to begood at it, I would definitely
say time blocking when you can.
You know, when you notice chunksof time to do whether it's
laundry or whether it'ssomething to do with your at
home business or whether it'ssomething to do with your kids
(04:33):
or your family, just kind ofknowing the pockets of time that
you can or want to do things.
And if you're the person likeme, that's very, you know, you
love to do this.
You love being productive.
You like checking things off thelist, even if it's just two or
three things a day, whether it'sstuff at home, again, stuff with
the kids, your stuff for yourjob.
If you just even have lists ofthree things that you can check
(04:56):
off to make yourself feel likeyou did something that they were
productive that day can actuallydo wonders for you to lay your
mental health.
Because as a lot of moms canprobably attest you go through
the day and you're doing amillion things, but yet,
sometimes at the end of the day,you're like, what did I even do
today?
You don't feel like you canaccomplish anything because you
did maybe little bits of a lotof things, but it doesn't always
(05:18):
feel like you did anything big.
And so even if you have thatlist of simple things, checkup
kind of proof for your day, butI did do something today or I
did accomplish this, or I didmake that big step.
And I think she will thatproductivity for the days to
come.
I love all of that.
It seems like the shift happenedin my thirties of seeing a knee
(05:39):
and not just thinking, Oh,someone else will probably have
already thought of this orsomeone else will have done
this, but instead having athought of, well, why not me?
And lead an endeavor or start anew project or a new business.
So I'm wondering for you, whenyou were thinking about this,
did you ever have that?
Well, why not thought?
Or we like, yes, there's thisthere's this need and I'm going
(06:00):
to go for it.
You know what motivated cheetahto really say, raise your hand
and say, yes, I'm going to, I'mgoing to do this because it is a
big endeavor.
It is.
And I still do.
And hadn't been staying homewith my three children prior to
launching the website.
And while I have felt veryprivileged and blessed to be a
(06:23):
stay at home mom, it was not inmy long-term plans as probably
happens to a lot of parents thatstay home life and financial
circumstances kind of guided meto that role.
And I was very thankful to takeit as it many can.
The test is not easy either.
Um, there's a lot of sacrificesand things that you give up to
do that as well.
I always kind of felt a tug well, you know, trying to enjoy time
(06:46):
with my babies and I loved beinghome with them.
I just always had this littlepiece of me that felt tugged to
do, do more or do somethingelse.
I've always been passionateabout community in particular.
Um, I have a background insocial work, so that's really
what, you know, social workerslove is like building community
and connecting people andfinding resources for people.
And so I just always had thislittle part of me that was kind
(07:08):
of tugging to do something else.
And so I segwayed a little bitinto some of that by starting a
postpartum support group while Iwas still living down in
Florida.
And so that was an easy thing todo while home with the kids and,
um, could bring them along withyou group meetings.
And then the more I got involvedwith Jackson bull mom and saw
the potential for when we alwayshad planned to move eventually
(07:30):
saw the potential to dosomething similar in a community
and really add that value to thecommunity.
Especially for moms.
I just thought like said, whynot?
Why not me?
You know, if the opportunity'sthere and I'm blessed to be able
to do it and I can do it fromhome and why not me?
So it just kind of started fromthere attended university of
(07:50):
North Dakota and pursued yourprofessional journey in
marketing and communications.
You worked for a university inthe corporate world before
having a change of heart andreturning to school to earn your
master's degree in social work.
What was that change of heartfor stepping into social work?
I always had wanted to breakinto the nonprofit world in the
kind of that marketing area, um,the business side of the
(08:13):
nonprofit world and was part ofmy motivation for pursuing the
degree, the undergraduate degreethat I did.
And just, you know, I'm sure alot of new college grads can
attest, you know, you, you tendto take the work that comes to
you, especially when you're newin a field.
And so I never did end upmigrating to kind of where my
passion was, but while I waswaiting for that to happen, I
(08:35):
was doing a lot in the communitydoing a lot of volunteer work,
putting myself into otheropportunities that way.
And that's where I was opened upto the world of social work and
realized what soul loves socialworkers to what that work could
look like.
And it just seemed like anatural fit for me.
I actually did like the idea ofsomeday could kind of blend not
(08:56):
only a business background, butalso a social work background
into finding a niche somewhere.
I figured there's a nichesomewhere out there for me.
And I feel like Fargo mom is alittle bit part of that right
now in my journey.
And so it was just a push for meto do something I was more
passionate about and that'sworking with people in the
community and connecting them toeach other to resources they
(09:17):
need.
And helping families is reallywhere my passion lies.
What, how did you end up inJacksonville, Florida?
My husband brought us down therefor his job.
It was a temporary job for fiveyears.
We were down there for, we wereactually living in West Fargo
for a few years, uh, while we'renot from here and attended
school in grand forks, we werehere for two years before we
(09:39):
moved down there.
And so all our families here inNorth Dakota, so it was, it was
hard to leave and then we hadother kids are away as well.
And, um, the interesting thingis in the spring when, when
everything shut well, Ishouldn't say whenever you shut
down, but when we weredistancing from each other is
really where I was reminded alot of what parts of our life
(10:01):
looked like living far away fromfamily.
And it really made me appreciatebeing here again and how much I
value being close to family.
And we have some friends here aswell, and it just reminded me of
how isolating it kind of feltsometimes being so far away down
there.
So we're very happy to be back.
And it's, it's been a good twoyears so far.
We've been back and we're reallyenjoying it.
(10:23):
Kenny even shared with me a verypersonal experience.
Would you mind sharing a littlebit more about that time in your
life?
Sure.
Um, you know, it's interesting.
We did have a couple of years ofinfertility that we went through
before, um, and doing varioustreatments and things like that
until conceiving our twins.
(10:44):
And that is part of, as Imentioned before, what kind of
played into that choice to stayhome to babies in daycare is
obviously twice as much.
And, um, given the, the job Ihad at the time, it just didn't
make sense financially.
So I knew during the pregnancyand given my only my own
(11:05):
previous mental healthexperiences, I tried to be on
the lookout for possible signsand symptoms of postpartum
depression.
And, um, try to really educatemyself and know, you know, try
to know what I was gettingmyself into and then having
twins.
They were early too and had sometime in the NICU.
And I think I just didn't reallytake the time to understand how
(11:27):
much of a transition all of thatwas at one time, all moms can
really attest that you have ababy and then you just, you have
so much focus on the baby andare they healthy and are they
well, and are they sleepingenough and are they eating
enough?
And as moms, we just tend toforget about ourselves
sometimes, and we ignore some ofthose symptoms or those signs
(11:48):
that maybe we're not doing sowell.
I was so focused on the kids andgetting through the day with
them, with the husband who'sworking, you know, 60 plus hours
a week that I just didn't reallythink about myself.
And so, um, and then obviouslyadd in the transition from
working in the same home,especially if you're kind of a
person who likes productivityand to do this.
And it was a little bit hard tohave that transition as well,
(12:10):
which I can attribute some ofthe struggles that I had.
I didn't seek help until thosewere about eight months old.
It was kind of slowly goingdownhill, you know, month after
month until I finally hit a peakwhere I just, I couldn't go on
if I didn't have any help from aprofessional.
And so did finally reach outthanks to some very supportive
(12:31):
friends.
And obviously my, my husband,and kind of started to come out
of a fog after that.
You know, like I said, I, Ithink what always is so
surprising to me when I thinkabout is that I felt like I was
prepared for what could happenand I still blindsided me.
And so I think it's just aTestament that we just tend to
have blinders on after we havebabies and we just focus on
(12:53):
their needs and we forget tofocus on our own.
And I like to try and advocatefor that as much as I can now
for new moms to remember tothink about themselves and take
care of themselves.
I know self-care is such abuzzword, but it's totally
necessary for our own wellbeing,both mentally and physically.
Wow.
Try not to lose too much ofyourself in motherhood, kind of
(13:17):
along the lines of, again,focusing on kids, sometimes it's
easy to forget about things thatyou enjoy and things that you
like to do.
And so I would definitely tellmoms to, even if it's reading a
book or listening to music oranything that like makes you
feel like you and reminds youeven of your pre-baby self and
who that woman is and who youstill are.
(13:40):
I would really advise moms toclean to that and hang onto that
and, and pursue your, continueto pursue your hobbies and be
true to who you are and not justtotally dive into everything.
Mom, even silly things like whenwe're in the car, we don't play
the kids' music.
We don't always do the thingsjust so the kids want to do.
We'll, you know, we'll play themusic that we like.
And while our kids are ourworld, they also have to see you
(14:03):
being true to yourself and beingwho you are and doing the things
that you enjoy.
I love that Kathy, I loved yourrecent posts on Instagram
regarding a camping experience.
Yeah.
Can you share what that learningexperience was for you?
You know, I had this light bulbmoment or like the shower
thought, I thought, well, Icould capture like this whole
(14:24):
camping trip for the weekend andwhat it's like and how tiring it
is and this and that andpacking.
And it didn't happen becausewhen you have three young kids
you're camping with, you're justworried about making sure
everyone has all the things andall the snacks and all the food
and all the gear.
And then we got there and it waslike 90 degrees.
And we're just trying to keepeverybody happy while we set up
our tent.
(14:44):
And, you know, it's just onething after another, any travel
with young children isexhausting.
And so I just kind had thismoment Saturday, where I'm just
like, this is, this isridiculous, but I'll also
probably pretty relatablebecause I think this is what we
do for our kids.
We do these exhausting thingsthat sometimes we wonder how fun
it really is, but then we knowthat they're having a great time
(15:06):
and that's, I guess that's thewhole goal.
And that's all that matters.
And of course we had fun too,but you know, those little
nuggets of time where everyone'swinding and everyone's tired and
everyone's hungry and you justhave this moment, like, was this
a good idea?
But ultimately it was, andeveryone had fun and you make
the memories and you have thephotos and you can look back on
(15:27):
all that.
And it brings all those memoriesback.
And so it's still a good thingto do.
Still find the joy and take thattrip.
Well, it hit me when you said, Isee how hard you work to make
memories for your kids.
I know how exhausting it all is.
And let's check me is the makingmemories for your kids, because
there are those feelings of I'min failing at this, not just
(15:50):
this one, picture, your firstsalmon with a smile it's this
whole experience.
And the funny thing is before Ihad posted that picture, we had
taken a hike with our kids,which was entirely too long for
their little bodies and theywere whining and complaining for
most of it.
And then when we get home and weask what their favorite part of
(16:11):
the weekend was, of course theysay, Ooh, went on that hike.
And I answered each other.
And even though it may seem likethey're not having fun or like
things are really difficult orexhausting, their lens is so
different.
And they think back in the, theyremember the happy times.
They don't hopefully, alwaysremember the times mom and dad
were frustrated or this or that.
(16:32):
They remember the fun thing.
Then they remember how much funit was to be together and all
the fun things you did.
I would just encourage parentsto have a little go a little bit
easy on themselves, even if itwasn't, you know, a picture
perfect trip that their kidswill still remember the fun that
they had inspires you for sure.
My own mom.
I know that's probably prettycliche to say that, but she, you
(16:55):
know, she's actually, it was, itwas a social worker she's
retired now.
And the funny thing is she,wasn't the person that pushed me
to go into the field.
I would see her doing her work.
I saw how passionate she was forher own community.
And she would get us involvedin, you know, different
nonprofits and fundraisers or,um, community meal programs.
(17:17):
You know, she encouraged us todo all these things with her.
I just saw that more as who shewas.
I didn't really think of it aslike, this is from job and it
was just kind of who she was andhow much she cared and how
passionate she was and for thepeople around us.
And so by far, she's not only inmotherhood, but also just in
life in general, definitelyinspired me.
(17:40):
What is something you thinkeveryone should do at least once
in their life visiting somewherewhere you can just truly
appreciate just the around you.
And that can be somewhere assimple as you know, we have
state parks within, you know,two hours from here, something
as simple as that, even we wentto Glen to those state park for
(18:01):
a camping trip, and that was alittle over an hour away.
So I think anytime you can justbe somewhere that you can really
appreciate how beautiful ourworld is, especially in a time
like now when I dunno, it's soeasy to get bogged down with
what isn't going well and whatis really yucky.
I think it's a good reminder tohave even just once in your
lifetime, if that more thanthat, can you share a piece of
(18:23):
advice you've learned thus faron your journey?
There's always room for empathyand grace.
In most situations, I hear a lotof people talk about those,
this, especially lately with alot of the negativity that is
going on mainly in our country,but also in our world.
And I just think there's alwaysroom for those things.
(18:43):
There's always room for kindnessand to be kind to people and try
and understand what they'regoing through or how their
experience might be differentthan yours or how their journey
might be different than yours.
And I think that's somethingmoms in particular can always do
more of I'm sure you've heard,you know, the mom shaming or as
moms.
Sometimes you can not be so kindto each other because there's a
(19:06):
lot of judgment that can happen.
And honestly, I feel in myexperience because I've not been
immune to it, of course either,but when I have those moments
and I reflect on it, honestly, alot of that judgment is more of
my own insecurity or my ownworries as a mother that gets
projected out onto somebodyelse.
I think just taking the time tounderstand that someone else's
(19:28):
journey is not your own someoneelse's choices are going to be
different than yours.
And that's okay at the end ofthe day, what is your finish
line?
I don't know if I have one yet,to be honest, I've always when
I, especially when I returned toschool for social work degree
and to be in that career, I didalways, you know, a lot of my
(19:51):
jobs too.
I liked fulfilling these.
So if I see something, you know,I'm part of my, mom's an example
of that.
If I feel like there's a need inthe community for something or
there's room in the community tofit this in and to help people
or to create a resource, I wantto do that.
And I feel like I've done thatin smaller ways.
And some of the jobs I've had,especially in social work.
And so ultimately I guess I hadto name a finish line.
(20:14):
I would love to find a biggerneed and maybe even starting
nonprofits day, I don't havethat finish line.
Cause I don't know what thatwould be yet.
I think it's something that justover time as we see if there's
any gaps in the community, maybethat would guide me in a certain
direction.
So Kathy, if you're okay, I'dlove to end our time with a
little lightning round ofquestions.
(20:34):
Okay.
All right.
You ready?
I think so.
Passenger, passenger cookies orbrownies cookies.
I know you love coffee.
So how do you take it a littlebit?
I have now what do you do torelax, read shoes or bang a
(20:55):
trend you would like to see goneforever?
Oh my gosh.
That's a hard one.
I don't want to say like Tik TOKor some of those.
I don't know if I'm on boardwith them yet.
Perfect.
Date night, going to an outdoorconcert, followed by a local
brewery.
Love it.
The chess or checkers.
And I say neither wine ormartini wine.
(21:20):
Thank you.
Thanks so much for coming on.
Well, thank you.
Speaker 2 (21:28):
A lot of fun.
I appreciate it.
If you would like to learn moreabout glaze and grit and the
incredible community leadersthat are highlighted on the
show, join the conversationwhere you listen to your
podcasts and please subscribe,rate, and share.
You can also follow the glazinggrid journey on glazing grid,
(21:48):
podcast.com.
I'm Jesse[inaudible].
And thanks for listening to thisepisode.
Talk to you soon.
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