May 28, 2025 • 61 mins
Galatians 3:13 declares that Christ has redeemed us from the curse—an invitation to experience “days of heaven upon earth,” especially in our families. This final message in the Marriage & Family Series emphasizes that God’s blessings aren’t automatic; they require our alignment with His Word. Marriage, when centered around a covenant with God, becomes a threefold cord of strength and guidance. Whether navigating blended families, finances, or personality differences, divine order brings breakthrough where disorder invites struggle. No matter your relationship status, these biblical principles can transform your home into a place where heaven’s blessing flows freely.
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Well, I have been tasked with doing a little bit
of a wrap-up, and so let's turnin our Bibles tonight to
Galatians, chapter 3, and, whileyou're looking, deuteronomy 28,
.
We'll start with Galatians,chapter 3, verse 13,.
(00:23):
Most of you can quote it Inchapter 3, verse 13,.
Most of you can quote it.
It's one of those confessionsthat I have wired into my life.
Galatians 3.13,.
Christ hath past tense,redeemed us from the curse of
the law being made a curse forus.
For it is written cursed iseveryone that hangs on a tree.
(00:50):
That the blessing of Abraham,everybody shout the blessing,
the blessing of Abraham mightcome on the Gentiles.
Might see is not might on God'sside, it's might on our side.
Can we believe it?
Can we receive it?
Can we get a revelation of it?
Can we believe it?
Can we receive it?
Can we get a revelation of it?
That the blessing of Abrahammight come on the Gentiles
(01:13):
through Jesus Christ and that wemight receive the promise of
the Spirit through faith?
And then, in Deuteronomy 28,verse 1, and it shall come to
(02:00):
pass if everybody shout.
If so, the blessing of god isalways conditional.
It's not automatic.
It uh.
We have a part to play inwhether we have the blessing or
we don't, and of course this isOld Testament and this is part
of the blessing that we have aright to.
It shall come to pass that ifyou shall hearken diligently
unto the voice of the Lord, yourGod, and do to observe and to
(02:22):
do all his commandments, which Icommand thee this day, that the
Lord, thy God, will set thee onhigh above all nations of the
earth, and all these blessingsshall come on thee and overtake
thee.
If thou shalt hearken unto thevoice of the Lord, thy God,
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blessed shall you be in the city.
See that language is thestrongest language that the Holy
Ghost could use.
Blessed you shall be.
When I see that, I'm thinkingabout Isaac and Jacob.
(03:06):
You know Jacob was thesupplanter His name means
supplanter, deceiver, and himand his mother hatched a plan to
steal the birthright from Esau,and so he succeeded in doing
that.
I mean, his mama put lamb's furon him and made him, dolled him
up like he was hairy, like Esau.
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Esau was hairy and he wassmooth, and so he had to look
like and they sounded the same,being brothers, and so he
blessed him with a blessing ofEsau and it wasn't his, it was
Esau's, but he blessed him andthen later on, when Esau showed
up, said oh, I've been tricked.
Oh, man, I've already givenyour, don't you have a blessing
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left?
He said I've already blessedyour, your brother, and he shall
be blessed.
Man, that's how strong it is.
I want you to get that.
I mean, we're blessed.
It's not something that'sethereal, it's not something
floating around.
It is something that isguaranteed by the blood,
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guaranteed by the blood.
Blessed shall you be in the city.
Blessed shall you be in thecity.
Blessed shall you be in thefield.
Blessed shall be the fruit ofyour body, the fruit of your
ground, the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your kind, the
flocks of your sheep.
Blessed shall be your basket inyour store or your kneading
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tray.
You're going to have plenty ofhot bread all the time, never
going to run out.
I mean, god cares about yourfood, he cares about your
kitchen, he cares about yourchildren, he cares about your
family, he cares about yourmarriage.
He cares about your finances.
He cares about your investments.
That's what this is talkingabout.
Israel's an agriculturalsociety, so he talks a lot about
(05:03):
cattle.
But you might not have anycattle.
You might have something else.
You might have some stock, youmight have a business, you might
have any number of things.
Verse 6,.
Blessed shall you be.
When you come in and when yougo out, the Lord shall cause
your enemies that rise upagainst you to be smitten before
(05:27):
your face.
I shall come against the oneway and flee before you.
Seven.
The Lord shall command theblessing upon thee and thy
storehouses and all that thousentest thine hand to do.
He'll command the blessing.
How many of you believe thatGod's commands are always
followed?
But it's what is it conditionalupon?
(05:49):
If?
If we hearken, we've got, we'vegot to do our part.
We've got to hearken, and inall you set your hand unto, and
he shall bless thee in the landwhich the Lord, thy God, giveth
thee.
The Lord shall establish thee aholy people unto himself, as he
has sworn unto thee.
If you shall keep thecommandments of the Lord, your
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God, and walk in his waysthere's that word if again and
all the people of the earthshall see that thou art called
by the name of the Lord, andthey shall be afraid of thee.
You know, god gave us a wordbeginning of this year and he's,
you know, it's just time for us.
You know, gave us a wordbeginning of this year and he's
you know it's just time for us.
You know it's time for us tostop being startled at what the
devil does and let's be startledat what God does.
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Let's let the world be startledat what God does through us,
and the Lord shall make theeplenteous in goods and in the
fruit of your body, fruit ofyour cattle, fruit of your
ground, the land which the Lordswear unto your fathers to give
you.
The Lord shall open unto theehis good treasure, the heaven,
to give the rain unto the landin his season, to bless all the
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work of thine hand.
And thou shalt lend unto manynations and shall not borrow.
Not a sin to borrow, but youshouldn't have to borrow.
You ought to get some.
Bless you.
Be a lender instead of aborrower, be a distributor
instead of a consumer.
That's God's best.
That's God's best.
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And the Lord shall make theethe head and not the tail.
Thou shalt be above only, andthou shalt not be beneath if
thou shalt hearken, and not thetail.
Thou shalt be above only, andthou shalt not be beneath if
thou shalt hearken, under thecommandments of the Lord, thy
God, which I command thee thisday to observe and to do them,
and thou shalt not go aside fromany of the words which I
command thee this day, to theright hand or to the left, to go
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after other gods to serve them.
So tonight I just want to wrapthis nine part series up, called
the blessings of the marriagecovenant, and I do want to
release the blessing overeverybody here.
Whether you're married or not,you're part of the family of God
and there's a blessing to behad when we get into the word
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like this and the Holy Ghost.
We listen to it and I wanted toremind you, you know, we
started week number one talkingabout the covenant of marriage
and we went into some.
I won't go into everything Itaught in week one, but we've
done a deep dive ever since theninto all aspects of merit, of
godly communication, and thenchild rearing and and even over
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into media, and we've given youa lot of good tools that you can
work with.
There are many more that wecould share.
We just we had this number ofweeks set aside that we could do
this, but, um, I wanted toremind you that, uh, that first
week we talked aboutEcclesiastes 4.12, that the
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covenant of marriage is betweena man and a woman and God.
And Ecclesiastes 4.12 says athreefold cord is not quickly or
easily broken.
And God is the third person ofyour covenant.
He's there, he's a witness,he's there present.
God and his word are one.
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So the word is your witness and, of course, god and his spirit.
So the word and the spirit,then, that we teach all the time
, the word of faith and the HolyGhost, those become your
covenant partners in yourmarriage.
They're the thing that keepsyour marriage strong.
If you'll, when you havedifferences of opinion, when you
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have things that you'vedecisions to make that you're
not quite on the same page, taketime to pray, take time to give
uh agreement, time to, to lineup with the third person of your
covenant I mean, he's brilliant, he knows exactly what you
should do Then it's not so muchabout husband getting his way
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and the wife getting her way,but God gets his way.
And then when husband and wifecan agree on what God's way is
well, then you've got a solid,solid agreement.
Then your agreement.
How can two walk together lestthey be agreed?
That's the whole purpose ofmarriage is to get two people in
agreement, because there's suchpower in agreement.
We talked about that the firstweek.
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If one will put a thousand tofight, two will put ten thousand
to fight.
This is why the devil worksovertime to get you into strife,
to get you into disagreement,to get you into offense, to get
you, you know, playing thesegames.
The world and, and, and many ofus have these habits left over
in our lives.
You know, like the silenttreatment, you know pouting.
(10:39):
Don't get up my way, I'm notgoing to speak to you.
See, that's, that's justbabyhood, that's not.
You know, you got to growthrough that.
Let God be God in your marriage.
Everybody say blessings.
(10:59):
So really, the family is God'sbuilding block for the church.
The whole family of God inheaven and earth is named with
his name.
Oh, I just think about that.
Ephesians, chapter 3.
And so a family produced bythat covenant union of a man and
a woman is God's ideal andthat's, of course, the building
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block of the church.
You're in Deuteronomy 28.
If you're still there, turnover to 11 in Deuteronomy 28.
If you're still there, turnover to 11, deuteronomy 11.
Again, this is really Moses.
The word Deuteronomy meanssecond giving of the law.
So this is the secondgeneration of people that were
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in the wilderness.
Their parents died in thewilderness because they said
we'd be not able to go into thepromised land, so they died.
They didn't get to see it, theydidn't get to go in it, and so
Moses had to teach them allabout the good land and all of
what they needed to do topossess it.
And I want you to see inDeuteronomy 11.
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Because it's very repetitive.
He goes through what theyshould do.
He talks a lot about obeyingthe word.
And let's look at Deuteronomy11, 16 first.
It said take heed to yourselves,that your heart be not deceived
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, that you turn aside and serveother gods and worship them.
I heard Brother Hagin say thisone time.
You know, god can forgive someof the most heinous sins.
He can forgive the sexual sins,he can forgive all kinds of
things, but one of the thingsthat is so grievous to God is
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idolatry.
I mean, it's like spitting inGod's face to worship another
God.
And you know that's why we'rein such a mess in America,
because America's turned awayfrom the God of its covenant and
allowed other gods to become onequal footing.
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I saw a picture of a guy in themiddle of a crosswalk with his
prayer mat with his rear end upin the air, bowing to Mecca in
the middle of a crosswalk,holding up traffic.
I mean he decided that's wherehe needed to worship.
Allah was out in the middle ofthe road.
I mean that is the stupidestthing.
Why did we put up with it?
It's outrageous, sugarlandhaving a what is it a hundred
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foot or 50, I don't know big old, tall statue of a demon, god,
right in the middle of town.
How in the world did you allowthat?
Every one of those city councilmembers ought to be thrown out
on their ear.
One of those city councilmembers ought to be thrown out
on their ear.
That's not freedom of religion,that's just inviting demonic
powers to come into your town.
It's time we stand up church,all right.
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So he said don't worship othergods.
The Lord's wrath be kindledagainst you.
And he shut up the heaven.
There be no rain, that the landyield not her fruit and that
you perish quickly from off thatgood land which the Lord gives
you.
So lay up these my words inyour heart and in your soul and
bind them for a sign upon yourhand that they may be
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affrontments before your eyes,and teach them to your children,
speaking of them, when you sitin your children, speaking of
them, when you sit in your houseand when you walk by the way,
and when you lie down and whenyou rise up, see, have the word
of God in your house and youshall write them upon the
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doorposts of your house and uponyour gates so that your days
may be multiplied and the daysof your children in the land,
which the Lord swear unto yourfathers to give them as the days
of heaven upon the earth, asthe days of heaven upon the
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earth.
That's God's plan.
That was God's plan for Israel,and how much more is it God's
plan for the church of JesusChrist, how much more is it his
plan for his blood bought sonsand daughters of the most high
God to have the days of heavenupon the earth?
You can have the days of heavenupon the earth in your life,
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whether you're married or not.
And while I'm on the subject,whether you're not married, I
mean sometimes people want to bemarried too.
They want it too badly.
Let's concentrate on Jesusfirst and get get the days of
heaven on the earth in oursingle life before we start
pursuing something else.
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Might make you a little moreparticular about the person you
settle for, person you settlefor.
So God desires his families tohave the days of heaven upon the
earth.
Now, when you look inDeuteronomy 28, starting with
verse 15, all the way to verse68, there's 54 verses of curses
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and every now and then I readthem because I want to say I, to
check up on my life and seewhat curses I've allowed,
because you know you can allowcurses.
You know, sometimes they justshow up and we don't kick them
hard enough out of the out ofthe way, we don't step on them,
we don't tread them under, wejust kind of put up with them.
You know, until then Nowthere's another one, and then
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there's another one, and there'sanother one, and then there's
another one and there's anotherone.
And I can tell you, you know,when you read all the curses, I
mean it covers all sorts offinancial trouble, it covers all
kinds of trouble with kids, itcovers all marital trouble, it
covers all sickness and disease.
I mean it covers just aboutanything bad that ever happened
to you.
It's listed among the cursesthat we've been redeemed from in
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christ, which means we don'thave to put up with it once we
realize how it occurred.
You know, sometimes it's goodto check up on how did that
happen?
The curse causeless does notcome.
I mean, many times it'ssomething we missed, it's
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something we weren't aware of.
You know the devil feeds onignorance.
If he can get you sleeping, ifhe can get you just kind of
unaware, he'll slip something inthere.
And then, of course, sometimesit's just plain old disobedience
.
You know sin can cause it.
You know sin can cause it.
But you know, if we keep shortaccounts with God, the blood
will cleanse you and then thedevil doesn't have any right to
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put anything on you.
Are you with me now?
So these curses show up whenthere is disorder?
That's the point I wanted tomake.
It's disorder.
When there's disorder, then thecurses show up.
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It's been the same way in thischurch.
When disorder in this churchcomes up, it creates a place for
the devil to come with a curse.
He starts doing stuff hedoesn't have the right to do.
That's why we want divine orderin this church.
We want people under authority.
We want to.
We want to make sure thateverything is set in its proper
place.
Amen, and that's the way yourhousehold ought to be.
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It should not be a like an armycamp.
I was, you know, I used to havesome friends and and we spent a
lot of time around them, youknow, and and we were kind of
younger christians at time.
Our kids were younger and theyhad more kids.
They had five kids at the timeand Mama was like a drill
sergeant, I mean, she was just,you know, barking at the kids
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and didn't treat them verykindly and it was just tense.
Their house had a tension inthe atmosphere that I found
where I just we spent a littletime over there and I was ready
to go home and get back.
I want some peace, man, thatplace is just a little bit too.
But that's quoting the Bible.
I will set no evil thing beforemy face.
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That's an evil.
And she'd call her son that hewas evil.
And I thought, man, that's nota good word to speak to your
child.
He's just 11 years old.
He, he's a typical boy.
He's doing stuff he shouldn'tdo.
Okay, don't call him evil, youknow, correct him, but don't be
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ugly, um.
So hallelujah, thank God forthe word and the spirit.
I mean, you've got the greaterone living on the inside of you.
I like what Brother Mark wastalking about.
He's a genius.
He's got that book.
Holy Ghost is a genius.
He's a genius.
He's better than any marriagecounselor.
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He's better than anybody thatyou can consult.
He's part of your marriage,he's the third cord of your
marriage and he, if you'llconsult him when you see
disorder, he can show you how tosolve the disorder without a
whole lot of damage.
Are you with me now?
He can bring disorder intoorder and then the blessing can
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flow, and then the blessing canflow.
I said the blessing can flow.
So, going through some of ourpast, we've had some breakout
sessions I've heard they werereally really profitable and
y'all were getting to know eachother Really powerful.
(20:32):
We did have some questions thatsome of you submitted.
I don't know that if I havethem all, but I will touch on a
few because of my 30 year well,38 years really, because I add
the eight years.
I was at Lakewood and I've toldyou a little bit about some of
my errands, my pastoral errandsthat my pastor Osteen had me on
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Sunday morning.
I mentioned a couple of themthat I was sent on, and so I
mean I've witnessed a lot ofwreckage in marriages, and I'm
talking about Christianmarriages I'm talking about, you
know, marriages that were indeep trouble, lots of strife,
lots of disorder, and no matterwhere you are tonight, maybe you
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have trouble and you're in theright place.
The best way is to confront andadmit that you've got trouble
and that there's an answer forit.
You can, you know, or maybe youjust came out of a divorce.
I don't know everybody'scircumstance.
There's lots of divorce in thechurch.
Some church denominationscondemn you when you're divorced
.
They throw you away when you'redivorced.
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In fact, if you get remarried,they really do.
You're done.
That's what they did to BrotherOsteen.
Brother Osteen was divorced.
His wife that he was married togot sick of being a pastor's
wife, did not want to be apastor's wife anymore.
She divorced him, she left him.
She wouldn't be with him.
What's he supposed to do?
He's a young man, he's got kids.
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I mean, he's got one child.
I mean, what's he supposed todo?
Just do without.
So when he got remarried, theBaptist didn't like it.
Well, you know what?
Are they basing it on the OldTestament?
They need to read the NewTestament.
What do you mean?
Old Testament?
Jesus said that.
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Yeah, he's talking to Jews.
It's Old Testament.
Look what Paul said.
That's our guide, not whatJesus said to the Jews, what God
, through the apostle Paul, saidto the church.
That's what we go by, and soyou know, regardless of what
your circumstance is, whetheryou're divorced, whether you're
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looking for someone to getremarried, this church is not
going to throw you away.
We're going to try to help youmake the right decision and help
you build a strong,god-inspired, god-filled family.
So I've got a few of thesequestions I want to try to bring
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up and we're going to releasethe blessing over.
You Got plenty of time here, sowe had one on Christian dating,
and I'm glad I wasn't in roomfor that one, because I have no
experience on Christian dating.
Amen, hey, gladys and I are anexample.
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I mean, gladys married anunbeliever.
She didn't know it.
She's a little Baptist girl.
She goes to Baptist church andthe Baptist just teach her how
to get saved every week.
She wore out her rededicator bythe time she was 13.
So she didn't know anythingabout what the word said about
not being unequally yoked withan unbeliever.
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As far as I was, you know he'sa believer, goes to church, he's
Catholic.
Well, I wasn't born again.
So she was unequally yoked withan unbeliever, is what she was.
But we turned out, didn't we?
I mean, once I got saved andfilled with the Holy Ghost.
Then she got filled with theHoly Ghost.
We started got filled with theHoly Ghost, we started making a
lot of adjustments and I beganto see what some of the things
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that I had done, you know,ignorantly and stupidly, you
know, in my early marriage Imean, it's just by the grace of
God, if I hadn't gotten saved,I'm fairly sure we would have
been divorced at some point.
We were headed in oppositedirections.
So, you know, it's not aboutanybody feeling shame about
where you are right now or whatyou have done.
(24:34):
If it's under the blood, itstays under the blood.
We don't have to talk aboutthat.
So someone asked when do Ishare?
If I'm going to date and I'mdating someone?
When do I bring up my past andwhen do I bring up whether I,
you know, have been sexuallyactive?
And I would say you don't.
If you've been married before,that's not even worth talking
(24:58):
about.
Yeah, you were married.
Okay, there's nothing to talkabout.
But if you're single and youfind out that the person that
you after a little while, ifthey're marriage material and
again, don't be datingunbelievers.
A lot of people use datingsites nowadays and what I find
is that people settle, they geton and they find a person that
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represents themselves and reallyit's not always honest what
they're saying about themselves.
You don't have any idea whatthey really are like and what
they've really done in theirlives.
And so if you're going to goout and on date with somebody
like that, you go slow and youdon't bring them around all in
that stage of development untilyou discover exactly who that
person is and whether they'reeven on the list or the radar of
(25:54):
possibility.
And then if you're interestedand they're interested, then you
might want to say well, youknow, I've been married before
and I've got kids.
That should come up prettyearly in the deal.
But if you're single and you'redating somebody and you've been
active before, I wouldn't sharethat right away.
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At some point, if you reallyare serious about that person,
you might have to say well,listen, I just want you to know
before we get any further.
I'm not a virgin.
That's all you have to say.
It's under the blood.
You don't.
You don't have to go back andhave a list of people and dates.
(26:36):
I know that sounds crude, but Imean, you know really just when
something's under the blood,keep it under the blood.
You're not being dishonest.
You're not being dishonest.
It's the 21st century and thisis the case a lot of places
(26:57):
Different than it was when I wascoming up.
Then you have situations whereyou're dating and you have kids,
kids and they have kids.
Well, it's more complicated.
You're going to have to takemore time.
Don't you plunge into somethinglike that without a lot of due
(27:18):
diligence?
You need to take the time toobserve them in action as
parents, see what kind of kidsthey've got, they have and how
well-behaved they are or notwell-behaved, because at some
point you're going to have ablended family with somebody
with kids that you didn't haveanything to do with and you may
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not be able to handle it.
Let that be the deal-breakerearly on, instead of plunging
ahead and saying, oh, I'm justtrusting God, no, you're not
trusting God because you didn'tdo your due diligence.
You're just being foolish andyou're led by the flesh.
You're led by your eyes.
You like that person, you wantthat person and you think that
(28:03):
God will change them and Godwill change.
No, he doesn't change.
That's not how he works.
And besides that, your stepkidsyou have no influence over,
you're not responsible for theirdiscipline and you cannot
discipline your stepchildren.
You know they don't.
You're not their parent.
Their parents are in charge ofthat.
(28:24):
So you've got to have all thatdivision, you've got to work all
that out and it takes time.
So I just urge you, if you'remarried with kids looking for a
husband I heard Dr Laura saythis years ago and I don't know,
she's Jewish, she'sconservative she just advised
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people not to ever get marriedwhile they had kids at home.
That's pretty hard.
I don't say that and I know whyshe said it, because she's a
psychologist and she has to sitacross the desk from people
who've married into a blendedfamily and now they have what
Disorder and it's hell on earthwhen they're supposed to have
(29:07):
days of heaven.
That's what God wants for youDays of heaven.
So don't sign up for hell.
When you've got heaven you canhave.
How many of you willing to signup for hell tonight?
Anybody want to sign up forhell?
Take it slow.
Take it slow and be realcareful.
(29:29):
And you know and you're theknow you're better served that
way Again, when you're just allin a.
I've seen people that were allin a tizzy.
I know a guy one time he justhad to get married.
I mean, he couldn't stand.
His wife died and he just hadto get married, that's all.
He couldn't be alone.
Well, I've known men that werejust, you know, they had a
(29:51):
challenge and in one case one ofthe men that I knew that his
wife had been ill with cancerfor several years and was
unavailable to him to be a wifeand then she died.
And then, man, he, within sixmonths he's ready to get married
, you know, and it worked out OK, he got a good one.
(30:12):
But then another guy in asimilar situation.
He just went on a dating sideand he just fell for the first
gal that came along.
And they're not very compatiblewith number one on my list is
being compatible with the churchyou go to and what you believe
about the Bible, and I don'tanybody that goes to this church
(30:34):
and you're a member of thischurch.
I don't advise you to marry aBaptist or Episcopalian or a
Catholic or I don't advise thatbecause they're way away from
what you're used to and you'regoing to have a whole lot of
gaps to fill in.
You're going to have a lot offrustration.
You're signing up for hell whenyou're used to and you're going
to have a whole lot of Gaps tofill in.
You're going to have a lot offrustration.
You're signing up for hell whenyou can have heaven.
So, hey, why don't you put thebrakes on?
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Make sure, before you ever goon a date, make sure that the
basics are At least satisfied.
Are y'all with me?
Is this helping anybody?
I mentioned this, but blendedfamilies.
You know when you, when you doget married and you are the step
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parent a lot of times you haveshared custody and so the the
families are in flux all thetime.
So you're, if you've got an exand your and your new spouse has
an ex, those two exes that haveto stay in the loop for the
sake of the children.
You're co-parenting thesechildren.
Are you mature enough to not bejealous of the ex?
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Find that out before you getmarried.
Find out how sensitive they are.
You can arrange for that.
You can look at body languageand you can see.
Because you've got to have a.
You might divorce this rascal,but he's still the father of
your kids and you're going tohave to co-parent with him and
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you're going to have to in somelevel, you're going to have to
cooperate for the sake of thechildren, or you're not doing
right by them, and vice versa.
So, then that you've got this,and so then, as life goes on,
what happens?
Well, his kids go off with thatX and your kids goes off.
And so how does that all work?
Are they going?
Are they crisscrossing?
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Are they one day at a time?
Are they all gone at one timeand all coming home?
I mean, it's look, the goal isdays of heaven upon the earth.
Know what you're signing up for.
Look ahead.
Look ahead and let's get overinto the future.
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Let's get the romance and thestars out of our eyes and let's
look at the practicalramifications of what we're
about to do and see if we'rereally ready to have a
commitment that's going to lastforever.
Because that's what you'redoing.
You're saying we're going tolast forever.
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That's what marriage is.
It's a covenant.
It should not be entered intoon a temporary basis.
Well, if it doesn't work, wecan always.
I've done it before.
I can do it again.
No, that's not the right way.
That's not the right, that'swrong.
Amen.
You know that.
I don't have to say it, but Isee it.
I wish I didn't see it, but Isee it.
I see people do the craziestthings.
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They call themselves Christiansbut they live like the devil.
I don't know why they don'thave to, but they do.
All right, everybody say blendedfamilies, see, it can be a
blessing.
You can have influence overthose stepchildren, you can be
loved, you can be honored.
It may not happen overnight.
Just look at it from theirstandpoint.
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Think about life from theirstandpoint.
They didn't choose any of this.
They didn't choose the divorce.
They didn't choose leaving oneparent and going over here.
They didn't choose you.
And now they're supposed to behappy every day.
No, they're not.
It's going to take a lot ofmaturity on your side to bridge
the gap between yourself andthose children, a gap between
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yourself and those children,because God's looking at those
kids.
God's looking at those kids.
He cares about them, amen.
So what about?
I've got a question here.
What about?
You know, the children spendtime with the ex and they're not
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of the same faith or not of anyfaith.
I mean, we've got all kinds ofdifferent situations in the
church where people are ofdifferent, not even Christians.
They're Muslims or they'reHindus or they're Mormons or
they're whatever they are, andthen you're Christian.
And so what do you do about yourchildren?
The best thing I can say is isthat you have the Holy Ghost
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living on the inside of you.
Greater is he that's in youthan he that's in the world,
which includes he that's in yourex spouse, and you don't ever,
ever get in a position ofcriticizing the spouse when
there's questions, when thechild inevitably will have
questions.
Well, dad won't let me do this,dad won't let me do that, mom
doesn't want me to do this.
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Mom, you say well, I know,here's all I know.
I know that your mom, I knowthat your dad loves you and
wants the best for you.
See, that's what you ought tobe saying all the time to your
child.
Reinforce their confidence.
Don't get in a war.
Even if you don't like what'sgoing on, don't communicate that
to your child.
Shield your child from anyconflict that you have and do
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the best you can in love tochart a course with your ex.
That's what you're supposed todo.
You're supposed to have aco-parenting situation.
You're supposed to have somecooperation, and you know if, if
, if, you're going to get tenseand angry.
Well, they're going to gettense and angry.
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No, you look, you're full ofthe Holy ghost you have.
You know, if they're not andyou are, then hey, it's on you
then to be the peacemaker andthe peace giver.
Is this helping anybody?
I mean, you know, look at itfrom a long-term basis.
You know there can be sometemporary things that happen one
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weekend or one month or oneyear.
I mean different times of life.
You know, have you everparented a 13 or 14-year-old kid
?
I mean, you know that's achallenge.
Hormones are raging, you knowthey're changing.
Their bodies are raging, youknow they're changing.
Their bodies are changing.
They go through this time whenthey think you're the stupidest
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thing that ever walked the earth, that they're smarter than you
are.
I mean, I remember feeling thatway when I was that age.
I still remember how ugly I wasto my parents.
I can't believe they allowed meto live.
If I'd have been them Iwouldn't kill me.
Let's start over, honey.
Now you're going to have tolove.
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Everybody say love, love, love.
Large age gaps in children AhWell, my extended family was
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like that.
I had kind of an unusual familydynamic in my family because
I'm the youngest of four.
My dad was the youngest of hisfour.
He had three older brothers andthere was eight years
difference between me and mynext sibling, which was my
brother Bob, and so my sisterswere much older.
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My oldest sister, marianne, is14 years older than me, so she
was more like a second mother tome when I was, when I was born
she's 14, you know, and I youknow, some of my youngest
memories of her.
Just you know, hauling me outto the ice cream truck and
buying a root beer popsicle, andI still remember that I
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couldn't have been more than twoyears old and I remember her
taking me out there.
You know the little little icecream, anybody ever.
I don't guess they have icecream trucks anymore, but anyway
we had ice cream trucks comethrough the neighborhood and uh,
but uh, you know, I, I justthink it's a blessing, I mean,
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you know, I just think it's ablessing.
I mean, you know, when childrenare closer together they're more
sibling rival, there's morearguing, there's more contention
.
You know, usually, and that'sjust normal, I mean, it's not
anything abnormal, you know, youjust teach them to do it, you
know, be a little better at it,and but when you have a big age
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difference.
Sometimes parents I've seenparents that learn from the
mistakes of the older kids andthey're softer on the young one.
And that's what happened to me.
I was spoiled.
They kept telling me oh, theynever would, let me get by with
that, you're just spoiled.
I heard that about 3,000 timesa week and I was.
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I mean I admit it.
I look back on it, it was, youknow.
I just they at the age thatthey were when I was coming up.
They were much older than theywere with the first group.
But you know I don't haveanything specific.
I mean, you know you try totreat your children the same,
but when you have a generationdifference, I mean you know
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that's one reason whygrandparents spoil grandchildren
and it's because we're notresponsible for their discipline
and so when we're through withthem, we send them home to you.
(40:06):
So don't hold it against usgrandparents, but now if you're
a grandparent raising yourgrandchildren, so that happens
more now than ever before, andso that's a different dynamic
and you can't afford to beindulgent with your
grandchildren any more than youcould afford to be indulgent
with your children.
You're going to have todiscipline them.
You're going to have to.
You're going to have to requirethem, you know, to obey you and
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respect you and all of thosekind of things, that that.
So you've got to get out of thegrandparent dynamic.
You know that that's only whentheir parents are involved and
they have that parental guidance.
But you're now the parent.
You're now the parent.
Don't don't be treating yourgrandkids like everybody else
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treats their grandkids, becausethey'll be unruly, they'll be
undisciplined.
Really, the lack of disciplinecreates fear in children when
they're not.
You know.
Just think about a baby.
What do you have to do with ababy?
You have to wrap that baby uptight.
My mother taught us that whenwe brought Claire home from the
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hospital you know, neither oneof us do anything about nothing
and Gladys's mother was 200miles away.
So my mother came and, you know, was there with us and we went
in there and she wrapped Claireup so tight.
She looked like a burrito.
I mean she was wrapped.
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I mean like a mummy.
It's like this.
I said Mother God, can shebreathe now she's sleeping.
Don't ever just lay her inthere and cover her.
That's not going to work.
You've got to wrap her becauseshe's used to the womb, she's
used to being confined and she'sgot to get used to this world.
And you just let her flop outthere like this and she starts
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moving, she gets scared, shewakes up, she starts screaming.
And you got to get up and findout what's wrong.
And it's usually because youdidn't wrap her tight enough.
So we learned, but it's the same, with discipline.
You've got to watch yourchildren.
I don't mean just henpeck them,but I mean you just require
them to follow the rules, tohave order in the house.
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See, disorder is the enemy ofpeace.
Disorder.
God came to bring order to aworld that was tohu vobahu In
the beginning, genesis one, godcreated the heaven and the earth
and it became without void,form and void, tohu Vobahu,
totally discombobulated.
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In fact, there's no realEnglish word for the Hebrew word
Tohu Vobahu.
The closest thing is just allmessed up.
It was all messed up and that'swhat God came to correct.
And when he recreated the earth, he, he brought order.
And then, when the when, whenAdam fell, the disorder returned
(42:59):
.
And so that's what Jesus' bloodhas brought.
It's brought the possibilityfor divine order to come in your
marriage, in your home, in yourrelationship with your children
.
You just go with the Word ofGod.
Teach them the Word of God dayand night.
Teach them how to love, teachthem how to share, teach them
how to love their siblings,teach them how to you know.
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Teach them all the things thatthe Bible is teaching you, and
you'll come out on top.
How can a husband lead a wifewho has a strong personality?
I'd say Gladys has a prettystrong personality.
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Most women have a strongpersonality.
I like to say it this way thehusband is designed to be the
backlog on the fire.
The backlog on the fire is justburns.
It sits there, it burns in thefireplace.
It provides heat and stabilityto the fire, and so when you
want to add to the fire, you putthe kindling in there.
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You know, when you want tostart a fire, you have to have
kindling.
Kindling is thin little piecesof wood, you know, and when you
put that in there, it justflames up and then it just goes
back down.
So that's women.
Women are kindling and men arebacklogs on the fire.
The woman goes.
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Let her, let her, hey, let herburn, let her, let her let her
sparkle.
We come into church and Gladyslights off of the aisles and
she's walking up and down andshe's just going to everybody,
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talking to everybody and justspazzing out.
You know, and just you know,sister Sparkle, she's coming
back.
You know she's coming back.
But I mean, that's her, that'sthe way she is.
I don't want to squelch it, Ilike it, I'm not like that.
I'm not like that at all.
I'm just, you know, kind ofdull and boring most of the time
(45:13):
, until I get behind the pulpit.
Then I've got people laughingat me, so it encourages me to
tell bad jokes.
So you just enjoy that strongpersonality.
I mean, you know, just, I wouldsay that when you know real
quick to give their opinion, andif you're meaning that the
Bible says, be swift to hear,slow to real quick to give their
opinion, and if you're meaningthat the Bible says, be swift to
(45:35):
hear, slow to speak, slow towrath, and so let her express
herself and listen, and don't bequick to try to answer what
she's bringing up, don't, if youdon't agree with it, don't be
quick to say you don't agree,just just listen and and just
listen and just, and if it keepson and she's still got this
idea that she's all excitedabout, listen, I mean the best
(45:59):
thing to do is to listen.
And then, of course, what we'vealready said is that God is the
third person in your.
So find out what God says aboutwhat she wants to do.
It's not about you approvingher plan.
It's about you finding out whatGod wants your family to do
about this thing that she'sexcited about.
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Strong personalities is just apersonality.
That, I'm hearing, is really asoulish description of someone,
and we all have that.
We all have a personality, weall have, and as we grow in the
Lord, our personalities can getmore and more like the Holy
Ghost.
We get our thoughts are moreand more like, more and more
like him, and we start to actand look more like Jesus.
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And that's the.
That's the goal, isn't it?
That's the goal.
But you don't have to be hardon her.
Be hard on her, you know it.
Just, you know honey is a lotbetter than vinegar, so just
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deal with her with a lot ofhoney, not too much vinegar, all
right.
How do we prioritize ourmarriage after kids?
I'm not sure exactly whatthey're saying, but in other
words, when you're saying you'rean empty nester, what I have
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seen is that in thishigh-pressure society, with all
of the mothers and fathers bothworking and away from the house
and the children suddenly leave,and now you have two people
living under the same roof,perhaps they're retired.
One's retired, the other one'sstill working, both retired.
(47:48):
If you haven't worked at italong the way, you can have a
huge gulf in between the two ofyou, because you've lost the
thing that kept you in agreement, and that was your kids, and
now they're not there.
And I find that people haveseparate lives and you've got to
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work all the way through yourmarriage while your kids are
there and then, after they'regone, it won't be so hard
because you're still eachother's best friend.
You'd still rather be with eachother than you would be with
anybody else.
But what I have seen is men gooff and do their manly thing and
women go off and they do theirwomen thing and they get
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involved in separate spheres,separate sets of friends.
That's dangerous to do, and ifthat's you, then you know you
need to.
I'm not saying it can't befixed.
It just takes work.
Marriage is work.
Agreement doesn't fall out ofheaven.
Agreement is a product ofcommunication, and so what
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somebody needs to do in thissituation is sit down and have
godly communication and say look, my needs are not being met now
.
The kids are gone, we're emptynesters and I find that, being
together with you, we don't havea lot in common.
Let's sit down, let's try tofind something where we can kind
of get in agreement about somethings, and maybe it's travel,
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maybe it's a hobby, maybe it'swhatever it is.
You find something that you canboth enjoy and maybe start
shaving all this other stuffthat's separating you.
I hope this answers yourquestion.
See, again, it's priority.
What's the priority in yourlife?
Well, God's a priority.
And then, after God, is yourspouse, and after your spouse is
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your children, and after yourchildren are your grandchildren,
and after that are your in-laws.
A lot of people don't have anyboundaries, and they're in-laws
and they're outlaws and they'rejust invading your space on a
constant basis.
And so, husbands, if yourwife's folks are that way, then
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that's up to your wife to handlethat boundary.
Are that way, then that's up toyour wife to handle that
boundary, and you might have tobe real sweet to communicate
your need for that boundary.
And on the flip side, wives, ifyour husband's folks are the
ones that are intrusive, thatare always there underfoot,
(50:30):
inconvenient and uninvited andentitled I mean, this happens.
So then you can't be the one tofix that, it's your husband's
job to do that.
And quick story, I mean before Iwas saved I didn't know this.
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I mean I love my family.
We were very close as a bigfamily.
I was close with Gladys' familyand my family.
I had no problems with eitherfamily.
We were always together at someholiday, every Thanksgiving,
you know we always had time.
So anyway, my dad and mom my dadretired and Wanted to move out
(51:14):
to Conroe and he sold theirhouse on 1960, just the two of
them and my company built theirhouse.
I drew their plans and we builttheir house in a little place
across from Lake Conroe calledLake Bonanza, and they had some
lots up there and and so weoffered I offered them to stay
(51:40):
with with us in our home inShenandoah, gladys and I we just
had Claire at the time and somy parents moved into our home
in Shenandoah, gladys and Imoved upstairs and gave them the
master bedroom downstairs andwe just had one child, we just
had Claire, and my mother hadbeen a caregiver to Claire when
Gladys was at work.
Gladys continued working afterClaire came on the scene and
(52:03):
once Jay was born, she hung itup and quit working and was a
stay-at-home mom after Jay.
But so this was after she'spregnant with Jay and Claire's a
toddler and mother's verybonded with you know, really
kind of more like a mother, see.
She's not like a, she is agrandmother.
She's indulgent, but she'scaring for her like a mom, see.
(52:27):
So she's real attuned toClaire's needs.
And so you've got that underyour house.
And all of a sudden my mother'sinterfering with Gladys when
Gladys wants to take a stand.
Oh, you shouldn't do that.
Oh, you shouldn't do that.
And so it was really miserablehaving my parents live with me
(52:50):
for six months while I finished.
I was very motivated to finishthe house, got it done, record,
mother, I'm sorry if you hearthis Telling stories on you, but
see, I mean it's just real life.
I mean this is what happenswhen you, I'm no longer the head
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of my house.
I didn't understand, see, I'mnot a Bible guy, I'm not saved,
I don't know anything.
See, I caution people when youhave people come stay with you
like extended.
I mean it upsets God's orderthat I just got through.
It upsets God's order If itgets in the way of your church
attendance, if it gets in theway of your normal relations
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with your wife or your husbandand your children and they're in
there interfering and you'vegot grandpa wanting to spoil
them, and you've got dad wantingto discipline them and you've
got all this.
I mean you could do that for aday or two, but you can't do it
for six months.
It's going to make a problem.
Are you ready?
So have boundaries.
Everybody say boundaries,hallelujah.
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How do you talk about financesto be on the same page many
years after marriage or notnewlyweds?
Well, again, it's order.
God has his order.
If you through a period of time, years, people tend to get in
bad habits financially.
They get to be spenders and notsavers.
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Usually in a marriage you'vegot one that's a spender and one
that's a saver.
Hopefully, if you've got twospenders, you've got a lot of
problems.
But if you've got one, that'sone way and one the other.
Usually you do and you have.
You know, for instance, gladysis the one that always paid our
bill.
She set the table andreconciled the bank statement
back when they used to do that,and sit there and pay all the
(54:44):
bills, write all the checks,mail all the checks, do all that
.
She did that for the church.
For years she was the, you knowcounted the offering, put it in
the bank, I mean she did allthat and so you know, we didn't
have a whole lot of differencewhen it came to finances.
But some people do.
Finances can be a pressure point.
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So let's again you go down thedivine order.
One way to correct imbalancesis to make God first and make
sure that you're giving yourtithe.
You're bringing your tithe andyou're giving offerings in
generosity over because you'regoing to need more supply.
A lot of times trouble happenswhen you don't have the proper
(55:28):
amount of supply.
Well, look at your sowing, andthat can cause a little meeting
to have and say, honey, this is,we've got a problem here.
I got a quick one here.
My, my oldest sister, the oneMarianne, was saved early.
(55:48):
I think she was the first onein our whole family that really
got born again.
I don't remember exactly howshe got saved, but it was out in
California.
They were out there and thenwhen she got back, then all of
us were saved and we all wouldhave prayer meetings together,
you know, and we'd have thesefamily prayer meetings and
everything.
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And her husband was always kindof the odd man out Frank was.
He had kind of quit being aCatholic, but he didn't like all
this charismatic stuff.
He didn't like the spraying intongues and he didn't like any
of it.
So he kind of distanced himselfand he started going back to
the Catholic church and wescratched our head and thought,
what in the world are you goingback to that for?
(56:29):
So, anyway, he was kind of anodd man out for a long time.
What are you going back to thatfor?
So anyway, he was kind of anodd man out for a long time and
my brother-in-law, frank he wasa good guy though and he a good
family man and he made a livingteaching safety courses for
nuclear materials.
So anybody that had nuclearmaterial had to have his course
(56:49):
to be certified.
So you had hospitals, you hadpipeline companies, you had, you
know, any number of people thathandle nuclear material.
They have to have acertification every.
So I don't know if it's once ayear or whatever it is, but he
would go and teach that courseand get them certified.
And so his business was allover the country.
He would travel from Conroe andhe'd drive to Michigan, drive
(57:11):
to California, drive to Ohio,drive, drive, drive.
He'd wear out car after cardrive into his classes and you
know they got short.
And in the meantime his wife isworking at a church there in
Conroe and and you know theyweren't tithing.
And so she went to him and said, now, honey, they weren't
(57:34):
tithing.
And so she went to him and saidnow, honey?
She said I know you're not ascomfortable with the way I
believe, but I really I believethe Bible and you know I pray
all the time for you.
And the Lord pointed out thatwe don't tithe and we really
need to tithe.
Honey, let me show you what theBible says about tithing.
And so she just really gently,sweetly, and she prayed a long
(57:54):
time before she ever broachedthe subject.
In the meantime he got to befriendly with the pastor of the
church that she was going to andtake him fishing.
They go on Lake Conroe and takethe pastor fishing, spend time
with.
So he got to be around peoplelike us, real people, real
everyday situation.
Then he started helping at thechurch, fix things at the church
.
So he started kind of gettingyou know that way.
(58:16):
So he was prepared.
So she started talking to himabout tithing.
She said now.
He said prove me now test me.
Would you let me tithe whatyou're making?
I believe I'm just believing.
If we start tithing, the phonewill ring more often and you'll
have more business, and if itdoesn't work then we won't do it
anymore, we'll just stop.
(58:36):
And he agreed to let her starttithing.
He's an unbeliever, he's neverbeen saved.
And so they start tithing.
I mean, his phone startsringing.
He's wearing out car after car,he's going all over the country
and then once a year they getto go to Las Vegas and she gets
to lay around the swimming poolin the desert heat while he's
going to these meetings and paysfor a fancy hotel in Vegas.
(59:00):
And so eventually he did.
He got saved.
He's in heaven now.
He went to heaven a few yearsago because she loved him into
the kingdom.
So you know, maybe that's yoursituation.
Maybe you've got an unsavedloved one, maybe they're a
husband, maybe they're a wife.
You know God.
God can hear and answer prayer.
(59:20):
The word of God can work foryou.
Come on, let's just lift ourhands.
Father, we thank you tonightfor these principles of the word
.
Lord, we just thank you that weare redeemed from the curse of
the law, that all theseblessings are coming upon us and
overtaking us in the name ofJesus.
In the name of Jesus, I wanteverybody to stand and I want us
(59:45):
to.
What I'm going to do tonight isI'm going to release the
blessing over you by this verse.
It's one of the verses that Godgave me when I started this
church, jeremiah 33.
And this is what shepherds didwith sheep.
When a shepherd had a flock ofsheep, they would put them in a
(01:00:10):
narrow place on the side of ahill.
The shepherd would stand abovethe sheep and the pathway would
be right down below, where theywould be just like one at a time
running through, and he wouldstretch out his rod over the
sheep and he would number thesheep.
That way he would know how manysheep were in the flock.
(01:00:35):
And that was in jeremiah 33 andum.
In the cities of the mountainsand the cities of the veil and
the cities of the south and inthe land of benjamin and the
places about jerusalem and inthe cities of judah, shall the
flocks pass again under thehands of him that telleth them
(01:00:56):
or that number them.
And that was one of the versesGod used for me to get in, to
start this church, and I had avision of you passing under my
rod.
Well, I have been tasked with doing a little bit
of a wrap-up, and so let's turnin our Bibles tonight to
Galatians, chapter 3, and, whileyou're looking, deuteronomy 28,
.
We'll start with Galatians,chapter 3, verse 13,.
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Most of you can quote it Inchapter 3, verse 13,.
Most of you can quote it.
It's one of those confessionsthat I have wired into my life.
Galatians 3.13,.
Christ hath past tense,redeemed us from the curse of
the law being made a curse forus.
For it is written cursed iseveryone that hangs on a tree.
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That the blessing of Abraham,everybody shout the blessing,
the blessing of Abraham mightcome on the Gentiles.
Might see is not might on God'sside, it's might on our side.
Can we believe it?
Can we receive it?
Can we get a revelation of it?
Can we believe it?
Can we receive it?
Can we get a revelation of it?
That the blessing of Abrahammight come on the Gentiles
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through Jesus Christ and that wemight receive the promise of
the Spirit through faith?
And then, in Deuteronomy 28,verse 1, and it shall come to
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pass if everybody shout.
If so, the blessing of god isalways conditional.
It's not automatic.
It uh.
We have a part to play inwhether we have the blessing or
we don't, and of course this isOld Testament and this is part
of the blessing that we have aright to.
It shall come to pass that ifyou shall hearken diligently
unto the voice of the Lord, yourGod, and do to observe and to
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do all his commandments, which Icommand thee this day, that the
Lord, thy God, will set thee onhigh above all nations of the
earth, and all these blessingsshall come on thee and overtake
thee.
If thou shalt hearken unto thevoice of the Lord, thy God,
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blessed shall you be in the city.
See that language is thestrongest language that the Holy
Ghost could use.
Blessed you shall be.
When I see that, I'm thinkingabout Isaac and Jacob.
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You know Jacob was thesupplanter His name means
supplanter, deceiver, and himand his mother hatched a plan to
steal the birthright from Esau,and so he succeeded in doing
that.
I mean, his mama put lamb's furon him and made him, dolled him
up like he was hairy, like Esau.
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Esau was hairy and he wassmooth, and so he had to look
like and they sounded the same,being brothers, and so he
blessed him with a blessing ofEsau and it wasn't his, it was
Esau's, but he blessed him andthen later on, when Esau showed
up, said oh, I've been tricked.
Oh, man, I've already givenyour, don't you have a blessing
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left?
He said I've already blessedyour, your brother, and he shall
be blessed.
Man, that's how strong it is.
I want you to get that.
I mean, we're blessed.
It's not something that'sethereal, it's not something
floating around.
It is something that isguaranteed by the blood,
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guaranteed by the blood.
Blessed shall you be in the city.
Blessed shall you be in thecity.
Blessed shall you be in thefield.
Blessed shall be the fruit ofyour body, the fruit of your
ground, the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your kind, the
flocks of your sheep.
Blessed shall be your basket inyour store or your kneading
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tray.
You're going to have plenty ofhot bread all the time, never
going to run out.
I mean, god cares about yourfood, he cares about your
kitchen, he cares about yourchildren, he cares about your
family, he cares about yourmarriage.
He cares about your finances.
He cares about your investments.
That's what this is talkingabout.
Israel's an agriculturalsociety, so he talks a lot about
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cattle.
But you might not have anycattle.
You might have something else.
You might have some stock, youmight have a business, you might
have any number of things.
Verse 6,.
Blessed shall you be.
When you come in and when yougo out, the Lord shall cause
your enemies that rise upagainst you to be smitten before
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your face.
I shall come against the oneway and flee before you.
Seven.
The Lord shall command theblessing upon thee and thy
storehouses and all that thousentest thine hand to do.
He'll command the blessing.
How many of you believe thatGod's commands are always
followed?
But it's what is it conditionalupon?
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If?
If we hearken, we've got, we'vegot to do our part.
We've got to hearken, and inall you set your hand unto, and
he shall bless thee in the landwhich the Lord, thy God, giveth
thee.
The Lord shall establish thee aholy people unto himself, as he
has sworn unto thee.
If you shall keep thecommandments of the Lord, your
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God, and walk in his waysthere's that word if again and
all the people of the earthshall see that thou art called
by the name of the Lord, andthey shall be afraid of thee.
You know, god gave us a wordbeginning of this year and he's,
you know, it's just time for us.
You know, gave us a wordbeginning of this year and he's
you know it's just time for us.
You know it's time for us tostop being startled at what the
devil does and let's be startledat what God does.
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Let's let the world be startledat what God does through us,
and the Lord shall make theeplenteous in goods and in the
fruit of your body, fruit ofyour cattle, fruit of your
ground, the land which the Lordswear unto your fathers to give
you.
The Lord shall open unto theehis good treasure, the heaven,
to give the rain unto the landin his season, to bless all the
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work of thine hand.
And thou shalt lend unto manynations and shall not borrow.
Not a sin to borrow, but youshouldn't have to borrow.
You ought to get some.
Bless you.
Be a lender instead of aborrower, be a distributor
instead of a consumer.
That's God's best.
That's God's best.
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And the Lord shall make theethe head and not the tail.
Thou shalt be above only, andthou shalt not be beneath if
thou shalt hearken, and not thetail.
Thou shalt be above only, andthou shalt not be beneath if
thou shalt hearken, under thecommandments of the Lord, thy
God, which I command thee thisday to observe and to do them,
and thou shalt not go aside fromany of the words which I
command thee this day, to theright hand or to the left, to go
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after other gods to serve them.
So tonight I just want to wrapthis nine part series up, called
the blessings of the marriagecovenant, and I do want to
release the blessing overeverybody here.
Whether you're married or not,you're part of the family of God
and there's a blessing to behad when we get into the word
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like this and the Holy Ghost.
We listen to it and I wanted toremind you, you know, we
started week number one talkingabout the covenant of marriage
and we went into some.
I won't go into everything Itaught in week one, but we've
done a deep dive ever since theninto all aspects of merit, of
godly communication, and thenchild rearing and and even over
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into media, and we've given youa lot of good tools that you can
work with.
There are many more that wecould share.
We just we had this number ofweeks set aside that we could do
this, but, um, I wanted toremind you that, uh, that first
week we talked aboutEcclesiastes 4.12, that the
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covenant of marriage is betweena man and a woman and God.
And Ecclesiastes 4.12 says athreefold cord is not quickly or
easily broken.
And God is the third person ofyour covenant.
He's there, he's a witness,he's there present.
God and his word are one.
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So the word is your witness and, of course, god and his spirit.
So the word and the spirit,then, that we teach all the time
, the word of faith and the HolyGhost, those become your
covenant partners in yourmarriage.
They're the thing that keepsyour marriage strong.
If you'll, when you havedifferences of opinion, when you
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have things that you'vedecisions to make that you're
not quite on the same page, taketime to pray, take time to give
uh agreement, time to, to lineup with the third person of your
covenant I mean, he's brilliant, he knows exactly what you
should do Then it's not so muchabout husband getting his way
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and the wife getting her way,but God gets his way.
And then when husband and wifecan agree on what God's way is
well, then you've got a solid,solid agreement.
Then your agreement.
How can two walk together lestthey be agreed?
That's the whole purpose ofmarriage is to get two people in
agreement, because there's suchpower in agreement.
We talked about that the firstweek.
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If one will put a thousand tofight, two will put ten thousand
to fight.
This is why the devil worksovertime to get you into strife,
to get you into disagreement,to get you into offense, to get
you, you know, playing thesegames.
The world and, and, and many ofus have these habits left over
in our lives.
You know, like the silenttreatment, you know pouting.
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Don't get up my way, I'm notgoing to speak to you.
See, that's, that's justbabyhood, that's not.
You know, you got to growthrough that.
Let God be God in your marriage.
Everybody say blessings.
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So really, the family is God'sbuilding block for the church.
The whole family of God inheaven and earth is named with
his name.
Oh, I just think about that.
Ephesians, chapter 3.
And so a family produced bythat covenant union of a man and
a woman is God's ideal andthat's, of course, the building
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block of the church.
You're in Deuteronomy 28.
If you're still there, turnover to 11 in Deuteronomy 28.
If you're still there, turnover to 11, deuteronomy 11.
Again, this is really Moses.
The word Deuteronomy meanssecond giving of the law.
So this is the secondgeneration of people that were
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in the wilderness.
Their parents died in thewilderness because they said
we'd be not able to go into thepromised land, so they died.
They didn't get to see it, theydidn't get to go in it, and so
Moses had to teach them allabout the good land and all of
what they needed to do topossess it.
And I want you to see inDeuteronomy 11.
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Because it's very repetitive.
He goes through what theyshould do.
He talks a lot about obeyingthe word.
And let's look at Deuteronomy11, 16 first.
It said take heed to yourselves,that your heart be not deceived
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, that you turn aside and serveother gods and worship them.
I heard Brother Hagin say thisone time.
You know, god can forgive someof the most heinous sins.
He can forgive the sexual sins,he can forgive all kinds of
things, but one of the thingsthat is so grievous to God is
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idolatry.
I mean, it's like spitting inGod's face to worship another
God.
And you know that's why we'rein such a mess in America,
because America's turned awayfrom the God of its covenant and
allowed other gods to become onequal footing.
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I saw a picture of a guy in themiddle of a crosswalk with his
prayer mat with his rear end upin the air, bowing to Mecca in
the middle of a crosswalk,holding up traffic.
I mean he decided that's wherehe needed to worship.
Allah was out in the middle ofthe road.
I mean that is the stupidestthing.
Why did we put up with it?
It's outrageous, sugarlandhaving a what is it a hundred
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foot or 50, I don't know big old, tall statue of a demon, god,
right in the middle of town.
How in the world did you allowthat?
Every one of those city councilmembers ought to be thrown out
on their ear.
One of those city councilmembers ought to be thrown out
on their ear.
That's not freedom of religion,that's just inviting demonic
powers to come into your town.
It's time we stand up church,all right.
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So he said don't worship othergods.
The Lord's wrath be kindledagainst you.
And he shut up the heaven.
There be no rain, that the landyield not her fruit and that
you perish quickly from off thatgood land which the Lord gives
you.
So lay up these my words inyour heart and in your soul and
bind them for a sign upon yourhand that they may be
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affrontments before your eyes,and teach them to your children,
speaking of them, when you sitin your children, speaking of
them, when you sit in your houseand when you walk by the way,
and when you lie down and whenyou rise up, see, have the word
of God in your house and youshall write them upon the
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doorposts of your house and uponyour gates so that your days
may be multiplied and the daysof your children in the land,
which the Lord swear unto yourfathers to give them as the days
of heaven upon the earth, asthe days of heaven upon the
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earth.
That's God's plan.
That was God's plan for Israel,and how much more is it God's
plan for the church of JesusChrist, how much more is it his
plan for his blood bought sonsand daughters of the most high
God to have the days of heavenupon the earth?
You can have the days of heavenupon the earth in your life,
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whether you're married or not.
And while I'm on the subject,whether you're not married, I
mean sometimes people want to bemarried too.
They want it too badly.
Let's concentrate on Jesusfirst and get get the days of
heaven on the earth in oursingle life before we start
pursuing something else.
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Might make you a little moreparticular about the person you
settle for, person you settlefor.
So God desires his families tohave the days of heaven upon the
earth.
Now, when you look inDeuteronomy 28, starting with
verse 15, all the way to verse68, there's 54 verses of curses
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and every now and then I readthem because I want to say I, to
check up on my life and seewhat curses I've allowed,
because you know you can allowcurses.
You know, sometimes they justshow up and we don't kick them
hard enough out of the out ofthe way, we don't step on them,
we don't tread them under, wejust kind of put up with them.
You know, until then Nowthere's another one, and then
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there's another one, and there'sanother one, and then there's
another one and there's anotherone.
And I can tell you, you know,when you read all the curses, I
mean it covers all sorts offinancial trouble, it covers all
kinds of trouble with kids, itcovers all marital trouble, it
covers all sickness and disease.
I mean it covers just aboutanything bad that ever happened
to you.
It's listed among the cursesthat we've been redeemed from in
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christ, which means we don'thave to put up with it once we
realize how it occurred.
You know, sometimes it's goodto check up on how did that
happen?
The curse causeless does notcome.
I mean, many times it'ssomething we missed, it's
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something we weren't aware of.
You know the devil feeds onignorance.
If he can get you sleeping, ifhe can get you just kind of
unaware, he'll slip something inthere.
And then, of course, sometimesit's just plain old disobedience
.
You know sin can cause it.
You know sin can cause it.
But you know, if we keep shortaccounts with God, the blood
will cleanse you and then thedevil doesn't have any right to
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put anything on you.
Are you with me now?
So these curses show up whenthere is disorder?
That's the point I wanted tomake.
It's disorder.
When there's disorder, then thecurses show up.
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It's been the same way in thischurch.
When disorder in this churchcomes up, it creates a place for
the devil to come with a curse.
He starts doing stuff hedoesn't have the right to do.
That's why we want divine orderin this church.
We want people under authority.
We want to.
We want to make sure thateverything is set in its proper
place.
Amen, and that's the way yourhousehold ought to be.
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It should not be a like an armycamp.
I was, you know, I used to havesome friends and and we spent a
lot of time around them, youknow, and and we were kind of
younger christians at time.
Our kids were younger and theyhad more kids.
They had five kids at the timeand Mama was like a drill
sergeant, I mean, she was just,you know, barking at the kids
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and didn't treat them verykindly and it was just tense.
Their house had a tension inthe atmosphere that I found
where I just we spent a littletime over there and I was ready
to go home and get back.
I want some peace, man, thatplace is just a little bit too.
But that's quoting the Bible.
I will set no evil thing beforemy face.
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That's an evil.
And she'd call her son that hewas evil.
And I thought, man, that's nota good word to speak to your
child.
He's just 11 years old.
He, he's a typical boy.
He's doing stuff he shouldn'tdo.
Okay, don't call him evil, youknow, correct him, but don't be
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ugly, um.
So hallelujah, thank God forthe word and the spirit.
I mean, you've got the greaterone living on the inside of you.
I like what Brother Mark wastalking about.
He's a genius.
He's got that book.
Holy Ghost is a genius.
He's a genius.
He's better than any marriagecounselor.
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He's better than anybody thatyou can consult.
He's part of your marriage,he's the third cord of your
marriage and he, if you'llconsult him when you see
disorder, he can show you how tosolve the disorder without a
whole lot of damage.
Are you with me now?
He can bring disorder intoorder and then the blessing can
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flow, and then the blessing canflow.
I said the blessing can flow.
So, going through some of ourpast, we've had some breakout
sessions I've heard they werereally really profitable and
y'all were getting to know eachother Really powerful.
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We did have some questions thatsome of you submitted.
I don't know that if I havethem all, but I will touch on a
few because of my 30 year well,38 years really, because I add
the eight years.
I was at Lakewood and I've toldyou a little bit about some of
my errands, my pastoral errandsthat my pastor Osteen had me on
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Sunday morning.
I mentioned a couple of themthat I was sent on, and so I
mean I've witnessed a lot ofwreckage in marriages, and I'm
talking about Christianmarriages I'm talking about, you
know, marriages that were indeep trouble, lots of strife,
lots of disorder, and no matterwhere you are tonight, maybe you
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have trouble and you're in theright place.
The best way is to confront andadmit that you've got trouble
and that there's an answer forit.
You can, you know, or maybe youjust came out of a divorce.
I don't know everybody'scircumstance.
There's lots of divorce in thechurch.
Some church denominationscondemn you when you're divorced
.
They throw you away when you'redivorced.
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In fact, if you get remarried,they really do.
You're done.
That's what they did to BrotherOsteen.
Brother Osteen was divorced.
His wife that he was married togot sick of being a pastor's
wife, did not want to be apastor's wife anymore.
She divorced him, she left him.
She wouldn't be with him.
What's he supposed to do?
He's a young man, he's got kids.
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I mean, he's got one child.
I mean, what's he supposed todo?
Just do without.
So when he got remarried, theBaptist didn't like it.
Well, you know what?
Are they basing it on the OldTestament?
They need to read the NewTestament.
What do you mean?
Old Testament?
Jesus said that.
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Yeah, he's talking to Jews.
It's Old Testament.
Look what Paul said.
That's our guide, not whatJesus said to the Jews, what God
, through the apostle Paul, saidto the church.
That's what we go by, and soyou know, regardless of what
your circumstance is, whetheryou're divorced, whether you're
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looking for someone to getremarried, this church is not
going to throw you away.
We're going to try to help youmake the right decision and help
you build a strong,god-inspired, god-filled family.
So I've got a few of thesequestions I want to try to bring
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up and we're going to releasethe blessing over.
You Got plenty of time here, sowe had one on Christian dating,
and I'm glad I wasn't in roomfor that one, because I have no
experience on Christian dating.
Amen, hey, gladys and I are anexample.
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I mean, gladys married anunbeliever.
She didn't know it.
She's a little Baptist girl.
She goes to Baptist church andthe Baptist just teach her how
to get saved every week.
She wore out her rededicator bythe time she was 13.
So she didn't know anythingabout what the word said about
not being unequally yoked withan unbeliever.
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As far as I was, you know he'sa believer, goes to church, he's
Catholic.
Well, I wasn't born again.
So she was unequally yoked withan unbeliever, is what she was.
But we turned out, didn't we?
I mean, once I got saved andfilled with the Holy Ghost.
Then she got filled with theHoly Ghost.
We started got filled with theHoly Ghost, we started making a
lot of adjustments and I beganto see what some of the things
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that I had done, you know,ignorantly and stupidly, you
know, in my early marriage Imean, it's just by the grace of
God, if I hadn't gotten saved,I'm fairly sure we would have
been divorced at some point.
We were headed in oppositedirections.
So, you know, it's not aboutanybody feeling shame about
where you are right now or whatyou have done.
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If it's under the blood, itstays under the blood.
We don't have to talk aboutthat.
So someone asked when do Ishare?
If I'm going to date and I'mdating someone?
When do I bring up my past andwhen do I bring up whether I,
you know, have been sexuallyactive?
And I would say you don't.
If you've been married before,that's not even worth talking
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about.
Yeah, you were married.
Okay, there's nothing to talkabout.
But if you're single and youfind out that the person that
you after a little while, ifthey're marriage material and
again, don't be datingunbelievers.
A lot of people use datingsites nowadays and what I find
is that people settle, they geton and they find a person that
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represents themselves and reallyit's not always honest what
they're saying about themselves.
You don't have any idea whatthey really are like and what
they've really done in theirlives.
And so if you're going to goout and on date with somebody
like that, you go slow and youdon't bring them around all in
that stage of development untilyou discover exactly who that
person is and whether they'reeven on the list or the radar of
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possibility.
And then if you're interestedand they're interested, then you
might want to say well, youknow, I've been married before
and I've got kids.
That should come up prettyearly in the deal.
But if you're single and you'redating somebody and you've been
active before, I wouldn't sharethat right away.
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At some point, if you reallyare serious about that person,
you might have to say well,listen, I just want you to know
before we get any further.
I'm not a virgin.
That's all you have to say.
It's under the blood.
You don't.
You don't have to go back andhave a list of people and dates.
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I know that sounds crude, but Imean, you know really just when
something's under the blood,keep it under the blood.
You're not being dishonest.
You're not being dishonest.
It's the 21st century and thisis the case a lot of places
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Different than it was when I wascoming up.
Then you have situations whereyou're dating and you have kids,
kids and they have kids.
Well, it's more complicated.
You're going to have to takemore time.
Don't you plunge into somethinglike that without a lot of due
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diligence?
You need to take the time toobserve them in action as
parents, see what kind of kidsthey've got, they have and how
well-behaved they are or notwell-behaved, because at some
point you're going to have ablended family with somebody
with kids that you didn't haveanything to do with and you may
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not be able to handle it.
Let that be the deal-breakerearly on, instead of plunging
ahead and saying, oh, I'm justtrusting God, no, you're not
trusting God because you didn'tdo your due diligence.
You're just being foolish andyou're led by the flesh.
You're led by your eyes.
You like that person, you wantthat person and you think that
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God will change them and Godwill change.
No, he doesn't change.
That's not how he works.
And besides that, your stepkidsyou have no influence over,
you're not responsible for theirdiscipline and you cannot
discipline your stepchildren.
You know they don't.
You're not their parent.
Their parents are in charge ofthat.
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So you've got to have all thatdivision, you've got to work all
that out and it takes time.
So I just urge you, if you'remarried with kids looking for a
husband I heard Dr Laura saythis years ago and I don't know,
she's Jewish, she'sconservative she just advised
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people not to ever get marriedwhile they had kids at home.
That's pretty hard.
I don't say that and I know whyshe said it, because she's a
psychologist and she has to sitacross the desk from people
who've married into a blendedfamily and now they have what
Disorder and it's hell on earthwhen they're supposed to have
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days of heaven.
That's what God wants for youDays of heaven.
So don't sign up for hell.
When you've got heaven you canhave.
How many of you willing to signup for hell tonight?
Anybody want to sign up forhell?
Take it slow.
Take it slow and be realcareful.
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And you know and you're theknow you're better served that
way Again, when you're just allin a.
I've seen people that were allin a tizzy.
I know a guy one time he justhad to get married.
I mean, he couldn't stand.
His wife died and he just hadto get married, that's all.
He couldn't be alone.
Well, I've known men that werejust, you know, they had a
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challenge and in one case one ofthe men that I knew that his
wife had been ill with cancerfor several years and was
unavailable to him to be a wifeand then she died.
And then, man, he, within sixmonths he's ready to get married
, you know, and it worked out OK, he got a good one.
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But then another guy in asimilar situation.
He just went on a dating sideand he just fell for the first
gal that came along.
And they're not very compatiblewith number one on my list is
being compatible with the churchyou go to and what you believe
about the Bible, and I don'tanybody that goes to this church
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and you're a member of thischurch.
I don't advise you to marry aBaptist or Episcopalian or a
Catholic or I don't advise thatbecause they're way away from
what you're used to and you'regoing to have a whole lot of
gaps to fill in.
You're going to have a lot offrustration.
You're signing up for hell whenyou're used to and you're going
to have a whole lot of Gaps tofill in.
You're going to have a lot offrustration.
You're signing up for hell whenyou can have heaven.
So, hey, why don't you put thebrakes on?
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Make sure, before you ever goon a date, make sure that the
basics are At least satisfied.
Are y'all with me?
Is this helping anybody?
I mentioned this, but blendedfamilies.
You know when you, when you doget married and you are the step
(31:21):
parent a lot of times you haveshared custody and so the the
families are in flux all thetime.
So you're, if you've got an exand your and your new spouse has
an ex, those two exes that haveto stay in the loop for the
sake of the children.
You're co-parenting thesechildren.
Are you mature enough to not bejealous of the ex?
(31:42):
Find that out before you getmarried.
Find out how sensitive they are.
You can arrange for that.
You can look at body languageand you can see.
Because you've got to have a.
You might divorce this rascal,but he's still the father of
your kids and you're going tohave to co-parent with him and
(32:02):
you're going to have to in somelevel, you're going to have to
cooperate for the sake of thechildren, or you're not doing
right by them, and vice versa.
So, then that you've got this,and so then, as life goes on,
what happens?
Well, his kids go off with thatX and your kids goes off.
And so how does that all work?
Are they going?
Are they crisscrossing?
(32:22):
Are they one day at a time?
Are they all gone at one timeand all coming home?
I mean, it's look, the goal isdays of heaven upon the earth.
Know what you're signing up for.
Look ahead.
Look ahead and let's get overinto the future.
(32:42):
Let's get the romance and thestars out of our eyes and let's
look at the practicalramifications of what we're
about to do and see if we'rereally ready to have a
commitment that's going to lastforever.
Because that's what you'redoing.
You're saying we're going tolast forever.
(33:02):
That's what marriage is.
It's a covenant.
It should not be entered intoon a temporary basis.
Well, if it doesn't work, wecan always.
I've done it before.
I can do it again.
No, that's not the right way.
That's not the right, that'swrong.
Amen.
You know that.
I don't have to say it, but Isee it.
I wish I didn't see it, but Isee it.
I see people do the craziestthings.
(33:23):
They call themselves Christiansbut they live like the devil.
I don't know why they don'thave to, but they do.
All right, everybody say blendedfamilies, see, it can be a
blessing.
You can have influence overthose stepchildren, you can be
loved, you can be honored.
It may not happen overnight.
Just look at it from theirstandpoint.
(33:45):
Think about life from theirstandpoint.
They didn't choose any of this.
They didn't choose the divorce.
They didn't choose leaving oneparent and going over here.
They didn't choose you.
And now they're supposed to behappy every day.
No, they're not.
It's going to take a lot ofmaturity on your side to bridge
the gap between yourself andthose children, a gap between
(34:10):
yourself and those children,because God's looking at those
kids.
God's looking at those kids.
He cares about them, amen.
So what about?
I've got a question here.
What about?
You know, the children spendtime with the ex and they're not
(34:31):
of the same faith or not of anyfaith.
I mean, we've got all kinds ofdifferent situations in the
church where people are ofdifferent, not even Christians.
They're Muslims or they'reHindus or they're Mormons or
they're whatever they are, andthen you're Christian.
And so what do you do about yourchildren?
The best thing I can say is isthat you have the Holy Ghost
(34:53):
living on the inside of you.
Greater is he that's in youthan he that's in the world,
which includes he that's in yourex spouse, and you don't ever,
ever get in a position ofcriticizing the spouse when
there's questions, when thechild inevitably will have
questions.
Well, dad won't let me do this,dad won't let me do that, mom
doesn't want me to do this.
(35:13):
Mom, you say well, I know,here's all I know.
I know that your mom, I knowthat your dad loves you and
wants the best for you.
See, that's what you ought tobe saying all the time to your
child.
Reinforce their confidence.
Don't get in a war.
Even if you don't like what'sgoing on, don't communicate that
to your child.
Shield your child from anyconflict that you have and do
(35:37):
the best you can in love tochart a course with your ex.
That's what you're supposed todo.
You're supposed to have aco-parenting situation.
You're supposed to have somecooperation, and you know if, if
, if, you're going to get tenseand angry.
Well, they're going to gettense and angry.
(35:57):
No, you look, you're full ofthe Holy ghost you have.
You know, if they're not andyou are, then hey, it's on you
then to be the peacemaker andthe peace giver.
Is this helping anybody?
I mean, you know, look at itfrom a long-term basis.
You know there can be sometemporary things that happen one
(36:18):
weekend or one month or oneyear.
I mean different times of life.
You know, have you everparented a 13 or 14-year-old kid
?
I mean, you know that's achallenge.
Hormones are raging, you knowthey're changing.
Their bodies are raging, youknow they're changing.
Their bodies are changing.
They go through this time whenthey think you're the stupidest
(36:38):
thing that ever walked the earth, that they're smarter than you
are.
I mean, I remember feeling thatway when I was that age.
I still remember how ugly I wasto my parents.
I can't believe they allowed meto live.
If I'd have been them Iwouldn't kill me.
Let's start over, honey.
Now you're going to have tolove.
(37:02):
Everybody say love, love, love.
Large age gaps in children AhWell, my extended family was
(37:28):
like that.
I had kind of an unusual familydynamic in my family because
I'm the youngest of four.
My dad was the youngest of hisfour.
He had three older brothers andthere was eight years
difference between me and mynext sibling, which was my
brother Bob, and so my sisterswere much older.
(37:50):
My oldest sister, marianne, is14 years older than me, so she
was more like a second mother tome when I was, when I was born
she's 14, you know, and I youknow, some of my youngest
memories of her.
Just you know, hauling me outto the ice cream truck and
buying a root beer popsicle, andI still remember that I
(38:11):
couldn't have been more than twoyears old and I remember her
taking me out there.
You know the little little icecream, anybody ever.
I don't guess they have icecream trucks anymore, but anyway
we had ice cream trucks comethrough the neighborhood and uh,
but uh, you know, I, I justthink it's a blessing, I mean,
(38:32):
you know, I just think it's ablessing.
I mean, you know, when childrenare closer together they're more
sibling rival, there's morearguing, there's more contention
.
You know, usually, and that'sjust normal, I mean, it's not
anything abnormal, you know, youjust teach them to do it, you
know, be a little better at it,and but when you have a big age
(38:56):
difference.
Sometimes parents I've seenparents that learn from the
mistakes of the older kids andthey're softer on the young one.
And that's what happened to me.
I was spoiled.
They kept telling me oh, theynever would, let me get by with
that, you're just spoiled.
I heard that about 3,000 timesa week and I was.
(39:23):
I mean I admit it.
I look back on it, it was, youknow.
I just they at the age thatthey were when I was coming up.
They were much older than theywere with the first group.
But you know I don't haveanything specific.
I mean, you know you try totreat your children the same,
but when you have a generationdifference, I mean you know
(39:46):
that's one reason whygrandparents spoil grandchildren
and it's because we're notresponsible for their discipline
and so when we're through withthem, we send them home to you.
(40:06):
So don't hold it against usgrandparents, but now if you're
a grandparent raising yourgrandchildren, so that happens
more now than ever before, andso that's a different dynamic
and you can't afford to beindulgent with your
grandchildren any more than youcould afford to be indulgent
with your children.
You're going to have todiscipline them.
You're going to have to.
You're going to have to requirethem, you know, to obey you and
(40:30):
respect you and all of thosekind of things, that that.
So you've got to get out of thegrandparent dynamic.
You know that that's only whentheir parents are involved and
they have that parental guidance.
But you're now the parent.
You're now the parent.
Don't don't be treating yourgrandkids like everybody else
(40:50):
treats their grandkids, becausethey'll be unruly, they'll be
undisciplined.
Really, the lack of disciplinecreates fear in children when
they're not.
You know.
Just think about a baby.
What do you have to do with ababy?
You have to wrap that baby uptight.
My mother taught us that whenwe brought Claire home from the
(41:10):
hospital you know, neither oneof us do anything about nothing
and Gladys's mother was 200miles away.
So my mother came and, you know, was there with us and we went
in there and she wrapped Claireup so tight.
She looked like a burrito.
I mean she was wrapped.
(41:31):
I mean like a mummy.
It's like this.
I said Mother God, can shebreathe now she's sleeping.
Don't ever just lay her inthere and cover her.
That's not going to work.
You've got to wrap her becauseshe's used to the womb, she's
used to being confined and she'sgot to get used to this world.
And you just let her flop outthere like this and she starts
(41:53):
moving, she gets scared, shewakes up, she starts screaming.
And you got to get up and findout what's wrong.
And it's usually because youdidn't wrap her tight enough.
So we learned, but it's the same, with discipline.
You've got to watch yourchildren.
I don't mean just henpeck them,but I mean you just require
them to follow the rules, tohave order in the house.
(42:15):
See, disorder is the enemy ofpeace.
Disorder.
God came to bring order to aworld that was tohu vobahu In
the beginning, genesis one, godcreated the heaven and the earth
and it became without void,form and void, tohu Vobahu,
totally discombobulated.
(42:36):
In fact, there's no realEnglish word for the Hebrew word
Tohu Vobahu.
The closest thing is just allmessed up.
It was all messed up and that'swhat God came to correct.
And when he recreated the earth, he, he brought order.
And then, when the when, whenAdam fell, the disorder returned
(42:59):
.
And so that's what Jesus' bloodhas brought.
It's brought the possibilityfor divine order to come in your
marriage, in your home, in yourrelationship with your children
.
You just go with the Word ofGod.
Teach them the Word of God dayand night.
Teach them how to love, teachthem how to share, teach them
how to love their siblings,teach them how to you know.
(43:22):
Teach them all the things thatthe Bible is teaching you, and
you'll come out on top.
How can a husband lead a wifewho has a strong personality?
I'd say Gladys has a prettystrong personality.
(43:47):
Most women have a strongpersonality.
I like to say it this way thehusband is designed to be the
backlog on the fire.
The backlog on the fire is justburns.
It sits there, it burns in thefireplace.
It provides heat and stabilityto the fire, and so when you
want to add to the fire, you putthe kindling in there.
(44:08):
You know, when you want tostart a fire, you have to have
kindling.
Kindling is thin little piecesof wood, you know, and when you
put that in there, it justflames up and then it just goes
back down.
So that's women.
Women are kindling and men arebacklogs on the fire.
The woman goes.
(44:30):
Let her, let her, hey, let herburn, let her, let her let her
sparkle.
We come into church and Gladyslights off of the aisles and
she's walking up and down andshe's just going to everybody,
(44:51):
talking to everybody and justspazzing out.
You know, and just you know,sister Sparkle, she's coming
back.
You know she's coming back.
But I mean, that's her, that'sthe way she is.
I don't want to squelch it, Ilike it, I'm not like that.
I'm not like that at all.
I'm just, you know, kind ofdull and boring most of the time
(45:13):
, until I get behind the pulpit.
Then I've got people laughingat me, so it encourages me to
tell bad jokes.
So you just enjoy that strongpersonality.
I mean, you know, just, I wouldsay that when you know real
quick to give their opinion, andif you're meaning that the
Bible says, be swift to hear,slow to real quick to give their
opinion, and if you're meaningthat the Bible says, be swift to
(45:35):
hear, slow to speak, slow towrath, and so let her express
herself and listen, and don't bequick to try to answer what
she's bringing up, don't, if youdon't agree with it, don't be
quick to say you don't agree,just just listen and and just
listen and just, and if it keepson and she's still got this
idea that she's all excitedabout, listen, I mean the best
(45:59):
thing to do is to listen.
And then, of course, what we'vealready said is that God is the
third person in your.
So find out what God says aboutwhat she wants to do.
It's not about you approvingher plan.
It's about you finding out whatGod wants your family to do
about this thing that she'sexcited about.
(46:20):
Strong personalities is just apersonality.
That, I'm hearing, is really asoulish description of someone,
and we all have that.
We all have a personality, weall have, and as we grow in the
Lord, our personalities can getmore and more like the Holy
Ghost.
We get our thoughts are moreand more like, more and more
like him, and we start to actand look more like Jesus.
(46:43):
And that's the.
That's the goal, isn't it?
That's the goal.
But you don't have to be hardon her.
Be hard on her, you know it.
Just, you know honey is a lotbetter than vinegar, so just
(47:05):
deal with her with a lot ofhoney, not too much vinegar, all
right.
How do we prioritize ourmarriage after kids?
I'm not sure exactly whatthey're saying, but in other
words, when you're saying you'rean empty nester, what I have
(47:25):
seen is that in thishigh-pressure society, with all
of the mothers and fathers bothworking and away from the house
and the children suddenly leave,and now you have two people
living under the same roof,perhaps they're retired.
One's retired, the other one'sstill working, both retired.
(47:48):
If you haven't worked at italong the way, you can have a
huge gulf in between the two ofyou, because you've lost the
thing that kept you in agreement, and that was your kids, and
now they're not there.
And I find that people haveseparate lives and you've got to
(48:13):
work all the way through yourmarriage while your kids are
there and then, after they'regone, it won't be so hard
because you're still eachother's best friend.
You'd still rather be with eachother than you would be with
anybody else.
But what I have seen is men gooff and do their manly thing and
women go off and they do theirwomen thing and they get
(48:33):
involved in separate spheres,separate sets of friends.
That's dangerous to do, and ifthat's you, then you know you
need to.
I'm not saying it can't befixed.
It just takes work.
Marriage is work.
Agreement doesn't fall out ofheaven.
Agreement is a product ofcommunication, and so what
(48:57):
somebody needs to do in thissituation is sit down and have
godly communication and say look, my needs are not being met now
.
The kids are gone, we're emptynesters and I find that, being
together with you, we don't havea lot in common.
Let's sit down, let's try tofind something where we can kind
of get in agreement about somethings, and maybe it's travel,
(49:20):
maybe it's a hobby, maybe it'swhatever it is.
You find something that you canboth enjoy and maybe start
shaving all this other stuffthat's separating you.
I hope this answers yourquestion.
See, again, it's priority.
What's the priority in yourlife?
Well, God's a priority.
And then, after God, is yourspouse, and after your spouse is
(49:41):
your children, and after yourchildren are your grandchildren,
and after that are your in-laws.
A lot of people don't have anyboundaries, and they're in-laws
and they're outlaws and they'rejust invading your space on a
constant basis.
And so, husbands, if yourwife's folks are that way, then
(50:08):
that's up to your wife to handlethat boundary.
Are that way, then that's up toyour wife to handle that
boundary, and you might have tobe real sweet to communicate
your need for that boundary.
And on the flip side, wives, ifyour husband's folks are the
ones that are intrusive, thatare always there underfoot,
(50:30):
inconvenient and uninvited andentitled I mean, this happens.
So then you can't be the one tofix that, it's your husband's
job to do that.
And quick story, I mean before Iwas saved I didn't know this.
(50:50):
I mean I love my family.
We were very close as a bigfamily.
I was close with Gladys' familyand my family.
I had no problems with eitherfamily.
We were always together at someholiday, every Thanksgiving,
you know we always had time.
So anyway, my dad and mom my dadretired and Wanted to move out
(51:14):
to Conroe and he sold theirhouse on 1960, just the two of
them and my company built theirhouse.
I drew their plans and we builttheir house in a little place
across from Lake Conroe calledLake Bonanza, and they had some
lots up there and and so weoffered I offered them to stay
(51:40):
with with us in our home inShenandoah, gladys and I we just
had Claire at the time and somy parents moved into our home
in Shenandoah, gladys and Imoved upstairs and gave them the
master bedroom downstairs andwe just had one child, we just
had Claire, and my mother hadbeen a caregiver to Claire when
Gladys was at work.
Gladys continued working afterClaire came on the scene and
(52:03):
once Jay was born, she hung itup and quit working and was a
stay-at-home mom after Jay.
But so this was after she'spregnant with Jay and Claire's a
toddler and mother's verybonded with you know, really
kind of more like a mother, see.
She's not like a, she is agrandmother.
She's indulgent, but she'scaring for her like a mom, see.
(52:27):
So she's real attuned toClaire's needs.
And so you've got that underyour house.
And all of a sudden my mother'sinterfering with Gladys when
Gladys wants to take a stand.
Oh, you shouldn't do that.
Oh, you shouldn't do that.
And so it was really miserablehaving my parents live with me
(52:50):
for six months while I finished.
I was very motivated to finishthe house, got it done, record,
mother, I'm sorry if you hearthis Telling stories on you, but
see, I mean it's just real life.
I mean this is what happenswhen you, I'm no longer the head
(53:10):
of my house.
I didn't understand, see, I'mnot a Bible guy, I'm not saved,
I don't know anything.
See, I caution people when youhave people come stay with you
like extended.
I mean it upsets God's orderthat I just got through.
It upsets God's order If itgets in the way of your church
attendance, if it gets in theway of your normal relations
(53:34):
with your wife or your husbandand your children and they're in
there interfering and you'vegot grandpa wanting to spoil
them, and you've got dad wantingto discipline them and you've
got all this.
I mean you could do that for aday or two, but you can't do it
for six months.
It's going to make a problem.
Are you ready?
So have boundaries.
Everybody say boundaries,hallelujah.
(53:57):
How do you talk about financesto be on the same page many
years after marriage or notnewlyweds?
Well, again, it's order.
God has his order.
If you through a period of time, years, people tend to get in
bad habits financially.
They get to be spenders and notsavers.
(54:22):
Usually in a marriage you'vegot one that's a spender and one
that's a saver.
Hopefully, if you've got twospenders, you've got a lot of
problems.
But if you've got one, that'sone way and one the other.
Usually you do and you have.
You know, for instance, gladysis the one that always paid our
bill.
She set the table andreconciled the bank statement
back when they used to do that,and sit there and pay all the
(54:44):
bills, write all the checks,mail all the checks, do all that
.
She did that for the church.
For years she was the, you knowcounted the offering, put it in
the bank, I mean she did allthat and so you know, we didn't
have a whole lot of differencewhen it came to finances.
But some people do.
Finances can be a pressure point.
(55:07):
So let's again you go down thedivine order.
One way to correct imbalancesis to make God first and make
sure that you're giving yourtithe.
You're bringing your tithe andyou're giving offerings in
generosity over because you'regoing to need more supply.
A lot of times trouble happenswhen you don't have the proper
(55:28):
amount of supply.
Well, look at your sowing, andthat can cause a little meeting
to have and say, honey, this is,we've got a problem here.
I got a quick one here.
My, my oldest sister, the oneMarianne, was saved early.
(55:48):
I think she was the first onein our whole family that really
got born again.
I don't remember exactly howshe got saved, but it was out in
California.
They were out there and thenwhen she got back, then all of
us were saved and we all wouldhave prayer meetings together,
you know, and we'd have thesefamily prayer meetings and
everything.
(56:08):
And her husband was always kindof the odd man out Frank was.
He had kind of quit being aCatholic, but he didn't like all
this charismatic stuff.
He didn't like the spraying intongues and he didn't like any
of it.
So he kind of distanced himselfand he started going back to
the Catholic church and wescratched our head and thought,
what in the world are you goingback to that for?
(56:29):
So, anyway, he was kind of anodd man out for a long time.
What are you going back to thatfor?
So anyway, he was kind of anodd man out for a long time and
my brother-in-law, frank he wasa good guy though and he a good
family man and he made a livingteaching safety courses for
nuclear materials.
So anybody that had nuclearmaterial had to have his course
(56:49):
to be certified.
So you had hospitals, you hadpipeline companies, you had, you
know, any number of people thathandle nuclear material.
They have to have acertification every.
So I don't know if it's once ayear or whatever it is, but he
would go and teach that courseand get them certified.
And so his business was allover the country.
He would travel from Conroe andhe'd drive to Michigan, drive
(57:11):
to California, drive to Ohio,drive, drive, drive.
He'd wear out car after cardrive into his classes and you
know they got short.
And in the meantime his wife isworking at a church there in
Conroe and and you know theyweren't tithing.
And so she went to him and said, now, honey, they weren't
(57:34):
tithing.
And so she went to him and saidnow, honey?
She said I know you're not ascomfortable with the way I
believe, but I really I believethe Bible and you know I pray
all the time for you.
And the Lord pointed out thatwe don't tithe and we really
need to tithe.
Honey, let me show you what theBible says about tithing.
And so she just really gently,sweetly, and she prayed a long
(57:54):
time before she ever broachedthe subject.
In the meantime he got to befriendly with the pastor of the
church that she was going to andtake him fishing.
They go on Lake Conroe and takethe pastor fishing, spend time
with.
So he got to be around peoplelike us, real people, real
everyday situation.
Then he started helping at thechurch, fix things at the church
.
So he started kind of gettingyou know that way.
(58:16):
So he was prepared.
So she started talking to himabout tithing.
She said now.
He said prove me now test me.
Would you let me tithe whatyou're making?
I believe I'm just believing.
If we start tithing, the phonewill ring more often and you'll
have more business, and if itdoesn't work then we won't do it
anymore, we'll just stop.
(58:36):
And he agreed to let her starttithing.
He's an unbeliever, he's neverbeen saved.
And so they start tithing.
I mean, his phone startsringing.
He's wearing out car after car,he's going all over the country
and then once a year they getto go to Las Vegas and she gets
to lay around the swimming poolin the desert heat while he's
going to these meetings and paysfor a fancy hotel in Vegas.
(59:00):
And so eventually he did.
He got saved.
He's in heaven now.
He went to heaven a few yearsago because she loved him into
the kingdom.
So you know, maybe that's yoursituation.
Maybe you've got an unsavedloved one, maybe they're a
husband, maybe they're a wife.
You know God.
God can hear and answer prayer.
(59:20):
The word of God can work foryou.
Come on, let's just lift ourhands.
Father, we thank you tonightfor these principles of the word
.
Lord, we just thank you that weare redeemed from the curse of
the law, that all theseblessings are coming upon us and
overtaking us in the name ofJesus.
In the name of Jesus, I wanteverybody to stand and I want us
(59:45):
to.
What I'm going to do tonight isI'm going to release the
blessing over you by this verse.
It's one of the verses that Godgave me when I started this
church, jeremiah 33.
And this is what shepherds didwith sheep.
When a shepherd had a flock ofsheep, they would put them in a
(01:00:10):
narrow place on the side of ahill.
The shepherd would stand abovethe sheep and the pathway would
be right down below, where theywould be just like one at a time
running through, and he wouldstretch out his rod over the
sheep and he would number thesheep.
That way he would know how manysheep were in the flock.
(01:00:35):
And that was in jeremiah 33 andum.
In the cities of the mountainsand the cities of the veil and
the cities of the south and inthe land of benjamin and the
places about jerusalem and inthe cities of judah, shall the
flocks pass again under thehands of him that telleth them
(01:00:56):
or that number them.
And that was one of the versesGod used for me to get in, to
start this church, and I had avision of you passing under my
rod.
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I’m Jay Shetty host of On Purpose the worlds #1 Mental Health podcast and I’m so grateful you found us. I started this podcast 5 years ago to invite you into conversations and workshops that are designed to help make you happier, healthier and more healed. I believe that when you (yes you) feel seen, heard and understood you’re able to deal with relationship struggles, work challenges and life’s ups and downs with more ease and grace. I interview experts, celebrities, thought leaders and athletes so that we can grow our mindset, build better habits and uncover a side of them we’ve never seen before. New episodes every Monday and Friday. Your support means the world to me and I don’t take it for granted — click the follow button and leave a review to help us spread the love with On Purpose. I can’t wait for you to listen to your first or 500th episode!
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