January 28, 2025 • 56 mins
Unlock the secrets to embracing sensuality as a profound spiritual practice in our latest conversation with the remarkable Sensuality Coach Extraordinaire Fab Bliss. Through personal stories and expert insights, we unravel the layers of societal judgment, shame, and guilt that often surround sex and Tantra. By exploring the nuances of becoming more attuned to our bodies and energies, we challenge conventional views and highlight the beauty of connecting the mind, body, and soul for enriched life experiences.
Join us on an enlightening journey where we address the transformation of men seeking to become better lovers and partners. Our discussion uncovers the cultural barriers and puritanical mindsets that stifle open conversations about intimacy and self-pleasure. We boldly compare societal acceptance of violence to the taboo surrounding sexual pleasure, advocating for education and personal bravery as tools to foster healthier relationships and shift societal norms.
Finally, we reflect on the influence of social media and cultural changes since the 1980s, contemplating their impact on personal expression and sexuality. Our conversation touches on topics from the role of pornography to the magic of energy transformation, drawing inspiration from legends like Marilyn Monroe. We promise to share practical tips on harnessing presence and energy for deeper sensual and spiritual fulfillment, leaving you with insights to transform your perceptions and embrace sensual living.
Spiritual guru, two-time #1 best-selling author, and higher consciousness advocate Shaman Isis (aka Cynthia L. Elliott) is on a mission to turn the tide of the mental and spiritual health crisis with mindfulness practices, incredible events, powerful content, and motivational storytelling that inspire your heroes journey! Learn more about her books, courses, speaking engagements, book signings, and appearances at ShamanIsis.com.
Ready for a life transformation? Ready to bring your dreams to life? Then you will want Glowup With Shaman Isis: The Collection of inspiring books and courses filled with life lessons and practices that raise your vibration and consciousness.
Ready for a life transformation? Ready to bring your dreams to life? Then you will want Glowup With Shaman Isis: The Collection of inspiring books and courses filled with life lessons and practices that raise your vibration and consciousness.
GlowUp with Shaman Isis: An Edgy Podcast for Transformation and Higher Consciousness
Are you captivated by inspiring personal stories, hero’s journeys, and reflections on spirituality's place in modern life? Tune in to GlowUp with Shaman Isis, the bold and uplifting podcast by spiritual rockstar, 2x #1 best-selling author, and veteran podcaster Cynthia L. Elliott—aka Shaman Isis.
Discover more at ShamanIsis.com or SoulTechFoundation.org.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Hello and welcome to Glow Up with Shaman Isis.
I am jacked for today's episodeof our podcast.
I have got a dear friend,someone who I love so much, who
has so much to share, so muchknowledge to share, joining us
today.
Fabulous, hello.
Sensuality Coach Extraordinaire.
Thank you so much for coming onthe show.
I'm honored.
(00:21):
Oh, please, it's my pleasure.
So for for our listeners, canyou tell us what is a sensuality
coach exactly?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
oh, you know, when, um, people ask me that I
remember the breakfast club.
Remember when they asked themto do an essay on who do you
think you are?
That's how I feel when Idescribe my work.
My title has been evolvingsteadily, for I've probably been
in this.
(00:52):
Well, I've been in thisprofession for lifetimes, but in
this experience it's probablybeen 2003.
Wow, 22 years where I've beenworking with people both in
session work and in workshop andretreat settings.
Um, a sensuality coach issomeone who shows you how to be
(01:14):
embodied in a way that increasessensation and pleasure and
allows you to infuse all of theaspects of your life not just
lovemaking, not just sex, notjust you know hooking up, but
all of your life withdeliciousness and juiciness and
(01:39):
how to be more present in yourbody.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I love that.
I love that.
I think that we you and I'vetalked about this before
Sensuality really is about thesenses, and you can have sensual
living, which is all areas ofyour life, and and introduce
sensualness and senses into allareas of your life.
I have to ask you a questionthat I'm absolutely dying to ask
.
So Tantra is that that's inyour wheelhouse?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
dying to ask.
So tantra, is that?
That's in your wheelhouse, it'sin my wheelhouse and it was my
jump off point.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, um, what are some of the misconceptions about
?
So, so you know, the shows glowup with shaman.
I saw about raisingconsciousness and spirituality
and living your most beautifullife.
What are some of the thechallenges that you see in the
spiritual and mindfulness worldwhen it comes to the topic of
sex or tantra?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
uh, probably the same ones I had going in.
I, uh was actually a freelancewriter.
Um, I was reporting when Iended up in a tantra course and
it was because I was so burntout from the entertainment beat
that I asked for something morewith more substance.
And it's a long story.
(02:50):
But I ended up at a Tantraretreat.
And I'm a New Yorker.
New Yorkers tend to be verygrounded and about very goal
oriented and mind based.
So I come to a workshop full ofpeople that I guess you would
call new agers, you know, likepeople that you would find in
(03:11):
Marin County, and their languageis so different.
I was in complete judgment andI wasn't really sure what I was
signing up for.
I have always had an interestin sensuality, from the time I
found my mom's Kama Sutra underher mattress when I was seven.
But I mean, that's probably thefirst memory I've had of being
(03:34):
like there is something more tothis than what people say it is.
Yeah, so I um, what I havedealt with is how to position
the offering in a way thatdoesn't ignore the sex, the
(03:57):
sensuality, because that's whateveryone's interested in.
If we're honest, um, but beingable to, you can't really market
Tantra.
I mean, it's illegal the momentyou start talking about
touching people's entire bodies.
There are legalities involved,and so marketing myself as a
(04:18):
Tantra teacher came with somereally delicious lessons.
Came with some really deliciouslessons.
I think one time a clientcalled me a drill sergeant
because I was so, you know,wanting people to enjoy the
experience as a sensualexperience, but then also trying
to offer.
There's so much more beyondthis, beyond just like rubbing
(04:41):
genitals or touching yourself ina way that produces a very what
I, what I think is what mostpeople have a very low grade
orgasmic experience.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Oh, I love that logo, you know, can I tell you I
really, it's we.
You and I've had conversationsabout this before.
Going through my spiritualawakening and journey and
becoming more in touch with my,my mind, body and soul has
really enhanced my sensualpleasure, and is that, is that
(05:14):
part of the?
Is that one of the mostimportant jobs of a sensuality
coach is really helping peoplemake that connection become full
circle.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Absolutely, you know more.
So in recent years I'mrealizing how important it is
and how necessary it is to totalk with people.
Now I will say the majority ofmy experience has been coaching
men.
My experience has been coachingmen.
(05:50):
I literally recently had aclient in their late 30s told me
that he does not.
If it weren't for fluids beingpresent, he would not know if he
had an orgasm or not, and that,like I mean, this was recently,
that just, and I feel like Ineeded to hear that because it's
easy to want to push aside theaspect of this that people judge
(06:12):
.
I feel like I've been judged myentire life because of how I'm
built, like I had an ex thatused to be like you're like
Jessica Rabbit, you're not bad,you're just drawn that way, and
so I think it's very easy it hasalways been very easy to um
sort of pigeonhole me into acertain role, and so I think my
(06:34):
biggest challenge was how to,how to um separate this out from
being called sex work, and Ihad a lot of judgment about that
.
But I came to realize that if Ihave judgment or I'm not
willing to have that label, thenI can't possibly help eradicate
shame and guilt around sex,which is the reason that I do
(06:56):
this.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I love that you said that, because I was having a
conversation with a clientearlier and we were talking
about shame and guilt and somany people.
I didn't think I had shame andguilt when I before I went
through my spiritual awakening,I thought that was something
that people who'd done somethingwrong had it.
It just never occurred to methat it was something that was
really defining a lot of mydecision making and uh, uh, and
(07:19):
so I love that you brought thatup.
Um, I've found it's interesting.
Even at this point in my life asa gen xer, I still find how so
many people who becomeimmediately uncomfortable when
you talk about something likemasturbation, and still stunned
at how many women I speak to whohave never actually come they
(07:44):
know what it is uh, they don'tthink it actually occurs for
women.
They've like bought into thatwhole mod, like when we were
young in the 70s and the 80s andthe 90s.
Uh, I remember having thisconversation with doctors where
I would say I would try to talkto them about self-pleasure and
they would say, well, whatdoesn't happen for a woman?
And we're talking about 20years ago and I was like, excuse
me, I don't think we've come avery long way in 20 years.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
You know, I I think I once said to someone if men had
any idea how often women don'tcome, the world would stop, do
they do, they, do they care?
It's not something.
I'm a little, I'm a littleconfused about that part.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I mean, I'm not saying in my own personal
experience, mind you.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I actually want to share something that um, yeah,
really is this is very fresh andrecent because in recent years
I have um, I have done a lotless one-on-one.
I have uh really been enjoyingtraining uh people in this,
training people in sensuality,and occasionally I'll dip back
(08:48):
in and do one-on-one sessionswith clients, and this week was
one of those times and Iremember walking out of it
feeling like this is the bestexperience that I can have with
(09:10):
men, literally the bestexperience.
I have men coming in who arerequesting to get intimacy
skills, requesting to be taughthow to be more present, how to
be better lovers, how to havemore enjoyment, how to feel more
, and it isn't a very safecontainer it is it ends when it
(09:37):
ends like it is literally fromwhat I am hearing and what I
have experienced, justrelationally, socially, right
now it is the best experienceand I'm so.
You know, every time that I doone-on-one sessions with men, I
love men more.
It's really easy to not likemen and it's really easy to talk
(09:58):
about all of the you know, justall of the injustice, right,
and all of the everything,everything that's going on.
It's just there.
Are men out there that reallydesire to be good lovers and to
be good partners and, you know,I think all of us are lost in
(10:20):
that way, just because of allthe shame and guilt attached to
it.
But women have a lot moreresources and a lot more spaces
that are supportive in which tohave conversations and training.
Yeah, no, I agree with you likewe literally need to be trained
in the most pleasurable activityfor most of us that exists.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I, a few years ago, I did.
I was I was definitely in adifferent state of mind and I
was promoting my sustainablecollection intention and I did a
mini campaign we will call itwhere I mentioned that I thought
I believed that self-pleasureshould be taught to young people
and you would have thought thatI dropped a bomb on the
(11:04):
internet.
I couldn't believe.
Even the most liberal peoplethat I knew out there fighting
for LGBTQ rights were like oh mygosh, you know, are you okay?
And I'm like, yeah, I'm doinggreat.
Why do you ask?
And it's like, well, becauseyou, you talked about teaching
young people.
And it's like, yes, you have afew.
How many women wouldn't end upwith children before they
(11:26):
committed to a relationship orhaving children that they didn't
actually plan on having, ifthey actually knew how to
pleasure themselves before theymet a boy or a young man?
You know, I, I think I, I wouldthink it would help.
But also I, I think if men weretaught how to take care of a
partner and I say woman, men,you, you know, those are
obviously traditional roles, butI'm very open-minded, I don't
(11:47):
care what it is but if peoplewere taught how to be present
and how to take care of thepartner that they were with
before they actually got with apartner in the first place.
And tell me if you disagreewith this.
I think it would helptremendously in relationships.
I think it may make people alittle bit more selective,
(12:08):
especially if they understoodthat you take on the energy of
the people that you're with, soyou want to be selective in who
you are with and how you show upin that moment.
Would you agree with thatAbsolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
A hundred percent and you know, I feel that I'm a lot
more able to be embodied in myembodiment practice right now
because of my age.
I think in my 20s there was toomuch of a threat of I'm always
going to be asked to, you know,um, to uh, shift my boundaries,
(12:38):
or that I would only be seen asa sexual being and not as
someone who actually hasknowledge and experience.
You know, there's a wonderfuldocumentary out there.
It's not really well known but,like every time I see it, it
literally brings me to tearsbecause it is about how people
who are born into lineages ofwanting to do this really
(13:03):
important sacred work I don'thave any, any training, you know
, and it's yeah, I mean, I justI'm hoping that we enter a time
in my lifetime where it is a lotmore accessible and a lot more
acceptable and that we just kindof grow up and get out of
kindergarten when it comes yeah,sexuality, yeah, the patriarchy
(13:26):
, and you know, women boughtinto the patriarchy as well.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
We're equally responsible for tolerating a lot
of it For as long as we did.
Granted, we were under thethumb, but it really the
puritanical framework thatAmericans were raised in has
given us and it's changing, butit definitely I mean it's
definitely affected people inthe guilt and shame department
(13:50):
in the.
We don't talk about that, youknow.
Oh, did she just mention sex?
I mean, even when we this isactually kind of funny, you know
, you can mention murder onsocial media and mass murder and
show video footage.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yeah, kids can shoot guns and bomb villages, but they
can't learn from a trainedprofessional how to have
pleasure so that they're notstuck in.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
You don't even have to be naked Like we we, fab and
I do, if you guys some of youguys already know that are my
fans and listeners know that Faband I do retreats and things
together, so we're we're quiteclose and we've gone through
this thing where we, when we docertain types of workshops and
retreats, we have to be soselective about our language,
because we'll get we'll getshadow banned for mentioning sex
(14:35):
, but you can mention massmurder and show video footage of
people shooting each other, andyou know it's just craziness,
do you?
Do you?
Have you seen much change,though, in recent years?
Do you think we're finallystarting to loosen up a little
bit?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I don't, I don't know .
However, I do know that it is aninside job and, like what I
shared earlier about realizingthat I cannot do anything to
eradicate guilt and shame if I'mnot willing to be judged, to be
a pigeonhole, to be, you know,called whatever, whatever people
(15:15):
want to label me, as you know,and I mean I'm pretty unfiltered
in my, in my, my own world.
I don't have a whole lot of sortof authority figures that I
need to be concerned with.
I have made this career mylife's work and you know so I'm
not necessarily in a traditionalenvironment where I have to
(15:36):
worry about.
You know, I did this podcastand now I'm going to lose my job
or, you know, my grandma's notgoing to talk.
You know, I don't, I don't, Idon't have that in my space
anymore, and it's still, youknow, an effort to break through
and be able to speaktransparently about the work.
Because, again, we just don'thave outlets that are considered
(16:01):
safe, and I mean there was apoint where I considered getting
like a psychology license and Iwas like no, actually most
psychologists I know are F andnothing.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Crazy.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
But you know, cynthia , I guess the rewards I'm not
expecting those rewards to comefrom society.
I can only do my part to be anintegrity to what I feel is my
highest vision or my highestoffering.
The rewards come when you get aphone call from someone that
(16:39):
saw you 10 years ago and says,with all the respect, I
literally think about you everytime I have an orgasm, and not
in the way that you know, not ina sleazy way.
I just remember that you told meto breathe and how that's
changed all of my experiencesand my experiences with my
partners yeah, I love that youbring this up.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
this is something that I don't think.
If you're not an intuitiveempath or somebody who works in
a healing modality, which isdefinitely essential coaching,
you know it, heals andflourishes, helps people
flourish.
I don't think a lot of peoplewho aren't in, who aren't gifted
in that way, understand thatthe vast majority of the work
(17:26):
that you do is in these momentswhere you are nudging, casting a
light in the right direction,giving somebody a little bit of
a lift or a push, the rightsentence, the right word, and
that accumulation of thatconstant.
It's a lifetime choice to bepresent when people need the
(17:48):
right word or language and andit adds up to this incredible
life experience that I thinkgets missed by a lot of people
who aren't present for it.
What's the?
So I?
I'm fascinated by the fact thatyou, you work with a lot of men,
and I joke about men not caringabout whether or not a woman
(18:10):
comes or not, but I actuallymean that jokingly, because I
will say that divine masculineshave really stepped forward in
the last couple of years.
There are thousands of men,maybe tens of thousands of men
all over the planet who arestepping forward to say to guys
men, you know we've allowed thewomen to do a lot of evolving
over the last 20 years, but it'stime for us to step up and
(18:33):
start to evolve.
So I think we're definitelygoing to see a big shift in the
coming years.
What is the biggest thing thatyou see that men struggle with
when it comes to sensuality?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
They cut off sensation, sensuality they cut
off sensation just they cut itoff and um, part of the session
work sometimes involvesliterally body mapping.
So when I touch your chest,where the sensations that you're
feeling there, can you breatheinto that?
I can.
I mean, you know, and I amintuitive, intuitive and I can
(19:03):
pick up things sometimes frompeople's bodies that in my mind
are like it's just obvious, likeit's literally just physics
just observe and listen.
But maybe just you knowintuition and we can't gauge our
own intuition sometimes, youknow, but I've literally had
moments of touching someone'schest and starting to cry
(19:24):
because they're not expressingan emotion I can feel based on
where a person is contracting orholding or squeezing, but
they're almost, I would say 90%of, not just men.
Everyone has a lot of tensionin their, would say 90% of not
(19:48):
just men everyone has a lot oftension in their, you know, in
their pelvic area.
We're all contracting there.
I think, depending on yourgeography, that has a lot to do
with it too, because if you'rein a city like New York where
you're constantly having toprotect your personal space and
there's not a lot of space andyou're in crowds and there's a
lot of aggression and thingsgoing on that you have to,
you're in crowds and there's alot of aggression and things
going on that you have to, youknow, you just sort of do that
(20:09):
and it's, um, like anything else.
It's, uh, a practice ofreminding yourself wow, I don't
need to be squeezing my neckright now, I don't need to be
clenching my jaw right now.
You know, and I think, for alot of the people that come in
without really uh knowing whatthey're signing up for, and I
think for a lot of the peoplethat come in without really uh
knowing what they're signing upfor, because I think we do know,
I think everybody knowsenergetically what they came for
(20:32):
, because otherwise we wouldn't,we wouldn't have a successful
business.
People would be if all theywanted was sex.
There are plenty of escortsthat offer, you know, or or
other types of you know, sexualprofessionals or erotic
professionals that offersessions that are way cheaper.
Um, they are coming forsomething more.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah, um, what about women?
What do you think about?
I mean, now you said thateverybody sort of holds tension
and uh, struggles with beingpresent.
What do you see with women insensuality, is it?
Speaker 2 (21:09):
guilt, shame.
It's performance.
That's interesting, A lot ofperformance.
Looking uh, sexy, sexyappearing women that I know are
(21:34):
performing, yeah, and I thinkwe're taught to perform.
I think we're afraid to notperform.
Um, you know, I had anexperience when I was very young
.
My first relationship was withsomeone considerably older than
me and I mean I was a kid, I was17, going on 18, when I met him
and I thought that I wasactually experiencing orgasms,
and it wasn't until I actuallyhad one that I realized I had
(21:57):
not, because it still feels good.
I mean, sex feels good andthat's really, the end of the
day, why.
I mean Tantra is teaching youthe same embodiment techniques
that yoga or behavioral therapyor another holistic practice
would teach you.
We're using sex because thatjust superpowers the whole thing
, and we're interested when it'sabout sex, but really it's all
it is is just bringing you morepower for your senses.
(22:22):
And so I lost my point.
Where I was going.
Oh, where I was going with thatis that I was not lying.
I was expressing that I wasenjoying these sexual
experiences and that I washaving orgasms, and then, when I
realized what was going on andshared it he was never able to
have sex with me again,literally never again, yeah,
(22:45):
ever wow and it took me years tofigure out what that was,
because he didn't put words toit you know it was just that's
all you know.
It started to become that's allyou think about I love you.
Anybody will have sex with you,but I love you.
And and it became a thing where, like he couldn't even watch a
(23:06):
movie where people were havingintercourse he'd have to change
the channel because that's how,how hurt he was.
But I had to figure that out andeven that that in and of itself
is crazy that we can't evenhave that conversation and say
hey, when you said that.
It totally hurt my ego and it'smaking me not want to perform
like I can't, you know.
(23:27):
Also, you know?
Another thing that's really umkind of hitting me is is how
many men are on pills like is.
Is really that all it's aboutis just staying hard and banging
like?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
which usually has more to do with their mental,
physical, emotional andspiritual health.
And I mean, the pill is thereto cover up for the fact that
they're not in flow andalignment.
They get in flow and alignment,then that very few of them are
going to actually need a pill.
It's like a lazy man's way ofstaying sexual, but it's not
enjoyable.
For the record, men, unless youreally need it and your
(24:05):
partner's aware that you reallyneed it, you're just being a
selfish jerk.
Sorry, I had to say that's mypersonal opinion.
Um, and when I, when I see I'veI've seen men over time and,
and the vast majority of themthat were taking pills that
didn't need it, we're doing itfor selfish reasons.
I mean, it's great if they wereactually capable of being
present, but the vast majorityof them were doing it for the
(24:26):
wrong reasons, so they weren'tactually present.
In her experience, it wasreally just about when that's
okay to switch that up to totake in a relationship.
Do you think that the the?
I lost my train of thoughtcompletely.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
It's okay, I do it all the time.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I know right, the, do you think?
Oh, I remember porn, which Idon't personally have a problem
with what I will call healthyporn.
I do think that it'saccessibility on the internet
has actually done a lot ofdamage to the younger
generations and that's one ofthe reasons why they're not
(25:11):
having children.
I mean, the economy has a lotto do with it and the job
opportunities and things likethat, but I do think a lot of it
is the overexposure.
I mean, the statistics on thenumber of the young people
having sex is shocking.
The rarity of which they areactually having sex with a
partner or someone has droppeddramatically in recent years and
I, I I wonder if that's uh,something that or no.
(25:34):
And the performative aspect ofit, I mean it's, it's absolutely
exhausting and it's like do youreally want a porn star?
Why don't you just go get aporn star?
If you want a porn star, likedon't, don't, uh, uh, expect
that all the time, but uh whatare your thoughts on that?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
actually would not want a porn star and I think we
see a lot of evidence of that.
If you go into forums where yousee, you know women and men
discussing relationships and sex.
Um, there's a lot of talk rightnow about being like ran
through or having a high bodycount, and it's like wow, okay,
well, you know judgment, alittle judgment there judgment,
a lot of judgment, and I don't Ipersonally don't have a problem
(26:12):
with porn.
I think it's a tool likeanything else.
I think, just like with a is,if you're someone who is
embodied and considers yourself,um, a good lover and someone
(26:39):
that has access to their ownsensation, but if you're using
it to check out, it can be anaddiction like anything else.
The other thing is they're notshowing you anything but the
actual raw sex act.
You know, and and we all knowhow to do that instinctively, um
, if you're watching porn andlearning how to be with a
(27:00):
partner through porn, thenyou're gonna have a very
unsatisfactory erotic life.
I think you know, and and againyou know, sometimes my own
perspective is so weird becauseI've been in these environments
since I was a kid.
Um, I grew up in New York inthe 80s like sex was.
(27:24):
I'm not going to say there wasless shame and guilt, but it was
definitely way more out there.
It wasn't as obvious.
The 80s was, I think, abeautiful time.
We had a lot more freedom ofself-expression in the 80s I
(27:46):
feel.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah, actually I would agree with that, I think I
think, it could be that also.
I don't think that.
I think media in many ways, theevolution of media,
particularly social media, it,it turned um the, in many ways
the people began to be too muchalike because they were getting
(28:08):
it reinforced, or there was,like you know, here's the five
stereotypes of how you can dressand your personality and, uh,
it becomes almost prescriptive,like here's my position in life.
I'm going to be thispersonality type or I don't know
.
It's kind of interesting, uh,the speed, the speed at which
things travel.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I left my more traditional media career because
of all of that.
What I saw is so much yes, andwhat's the word I'm looking for?
Inauthenticity, and I felt thatit was very soulless and so
hypocritical that, you know,calvin Klein ads could be nude
(28:52):
women and be plastered onbillboards in Times Square and
nobody thought that was sleazy.
And right now, with like thewhole you know OnlyFans, that's
one thing that just reallysticks out to me.
Like I don't have a judgmentabout that, I don't have one
personally, that I don't haveone personally.
I've never thought to have one,I just wouldn't even invest the
(29:14):
time.
But really, like the onlydifference between a lot of what
you see on these fan sites thatyou know regular women are
creating platforms on, andsomething you would have seen in
a billboard or a magazine or inVogue, is that they're in
control of their money.
So really that's what it'sabout.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Yeah, no, I agree with you.
I think that the women takingcommand of that situation
financially has bothered somepeople.
I like that you brought up thebillboard.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
It's freaking them out.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah Well, because it's taking the power, the
control, out of their hands.
You know it's like they'vealmost become reverse.
Pick me the.
You know I don't have a problemwith people who do.
I mean, I've had friends whoare porn stars.
I've, you know, friends who'vedone OnlyFans, like I don't care
(30:07):
, I don't judge, I do analyze,try, try to analyze from a
social theorist perspective howthings happen.
Um, the only fans thing isinteresting because it has, it's
allowed the women to monetizeand to take some level of
command over over who getsaccess to them.
And, um, and it's taken thecontrol out of the hands of the
(30:28):
people who were at one pointrunning that show, like the uh,
the big, the big platforms, whowere sort of running that avenue
before women were like you knowwhat, we could just do this
ourselves and it's so crazy,like people have really taken it
to another level they have.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I have friends with me.
Fans, if you are not makingthat your full-time job, I mean,
there are people making ahundred dollars a month.
You know what I'm saying likeit's not, like this thing where
like, oh no, you're gonna do islike show tna and you know you'd
be like a sugar baby, it's,it's.
Yeah, no, we are, I don't.
(31:02):
I don't.
It's not that I feel like we'rein a worse place than ever, but
we're in a really weird placeyeah, I think everything but but
sexuality, I feel, because youknow what's that quote?
everything is it's.
I think it's an Oscar well puteverything is about sex, except
sex, which is about power it isabout power and everyone wants
(31:25):
sexual power.
We use it to sell and buyeverything that we do, literally
everything what we eat, how wework out, like the clothes we
wear.
Everything is imbued withsexuality, and it's what we're
least adept in.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Kind of funny, right.
It's interesting that you bringup the, the billboards and and
I I found this interestingbecause both both fab and I for
the listeners both fab and I wemet many years ago when fab had
the first latin uh fashionlifestyle magazine, uh in new
york city.
She was uh iconic and being thefirst at entering an industry
(32:09):
that's now, you know, obviouslya huge part of culture, and was
one of those founding memberswho did that.
We both grew up in that worldand I like that you brought up
the billboards for Calvin Klein,because one of the things I
noticed at that time is if youwere heroin cheek skinny meaning
you had no curves you could beon a billboard in time square.
(32:31):
Now victoria's secrets obviouslyuh is a is more of an unusual
thing.
But even they were five footten, 120 pounds, soaking wet,
and the curves weren't general.
In many cases they weren'tactually like god-given.
But if you threw a woman upthere who was either god-given
or enhanced and they were sexualcurves, suddenly that was a
(32:53):
problem and it's like peoplewere up in arms.
Yeah, so you have.
You don't have a problem withnaked women, you have a problem
with a woman embodying hersensual side, right?
Yeah, and it's still like thatin many ways.
Like I hear the way men talkabout only fans, girls, and it's
like why do you care so much?
Like what do you?
(33:14):
What do you care?
I say men, it's women and menwho say who, who, who will say
the negative things, right?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
it is.
It is women too.
We sometimes face the harshestjudgment from women yeah, I,
yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
So, when it comes to people's bringing sensuality, so
as a sensual coach, sensualitycoach, what are some of the ways
in which people can bringsensuality into their like daily
life?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
So presence is one.
Sometimes, you know, it's kindof like when you try to explain
meditation to someone andthey're like well, I don't know
what that I literally just hadsomebody say I don't know what
you mean when you say focus onyour sacrum, I'm like it
literally means if you need tovisualize an object being there,
you do that.
(34:06):
Whatever will bring you intocontact with that point in your
body and um.
So as an example, this personwas um during a body work
session, clenching their lowerbelly, and I asked them to bring
awareness there and expand andhe didn't.
(34:26):
That didn't work right, becausewe don't all we're not all like
the same neurologically.
So then I said imagine you havea balloon right below your
belly and that as you inhale youare inflating the balloon.
So it's really a process oftesting out different um
sensation modalities to see what, what you connect with.
(34:48):
Right, we don't all connectwith the same thing, like I.
I love all holistic practices.
I do not like acupuncture.
Every time someone's like getacupuncture for them, like, no,
I feel sick, I don't, I don'tlike it, I don't resonate with
it.
But when something lands, youknow, then you're able to take
that tool and use it all of thetime.
So after the session they werelike, wow, that visual of the
(35:08):
balloon really helped.
And I'm like and you can dothat all day long when you're in
a space where you're stressedout or you're not feeling, or
you are with a lover and all youcan do is think, and you're
thinking or you're worried aboutI'm gonna come too fast, I'm
not gonna know how to touch themin the right way.
I don't know how to say thething I want to say.
You know all there is to do isbring your attention inward,
(35:30):
because then that sensuality isit's.
You don't have to do anythingto be sensual just like you
don't have to do anything tobreathe.
We breathe on, we're sleeping,we are sensual beings.
It's not something that you puton it, something you tap into,
and the way to tap into it is bybringing the awareness in and
like exactly the opposite ofwhat we do every day yeah, right
(35:54):
um this this.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
I love that.
The point that you just madeabout the presence, I mean that.
I think that's it's interestingbecause when I think about it
in terms of coming to orgasm,it's the presence without
rigidity, that just fullpresence that allows it to to
(36:19):
become as powerful as it can be.
Obviously, it's morecomplicated than that.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I'm sure the big challenge, cynthia, is that you
can't again, you can't thinkyour way into embodiment.
A lot of times, when peoplediscover like a practice, like
Tantra or anything that theyfind you know helpful, valuable,
they will immediately go andthey'll read a book about it.
There's, you know.
I don't want to make that wrong, it's not wrong.
(36:46):
However, you are not going toreach a level of experience, of
embodied experience by readingand thinking about it.
It's not a brain activity, it'slike your computer.
We need our computers, we needour Google calendars, and they
do what they do, but they cannotbring you to an altered state
(37:08):
or to a state that you haven'tbeen to before.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
I love that so powerful.
Well, since that sex orsensuality was spirituality and
I I wondered if you could shareon that, because I think that's
such a powerful comment to makeand so very true.
(37:46):
Um, and I don't think mostpeople think of it that way yeah
, it's literally magic, and Ithink that might be.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
For me personally, tapping into that has been the
missing link, the piece that Idon't know how to present yet
without sounding absolutelyinsane, and you know I mean, why
do I care?
I've been perceived as insanemy entire life.
Bring it on, but like it isliterally magic if you can
(38:19):
manage your energy.
If you can manage the way thatyou um hold yourself when you're
talking to people, when you'rehaving sex, when you're in a
meeting, when you show up at aninterview, walk into a room, if
you know how to work with thatenergy, you can literally shift
(38:40):
circumstances that are likebeyond comprehension.
I shared with you, I think atour first retreat, my favorite
story about Marilyn Monroe wasthere was a reporter who asked
to shadow her to spend like aday in New York City with her
Right and like Marilyn just kindof showed up in her plain
clothes and you know, like justyou know yoga Marilyn, like
(39:04):
regular Marilyn and the fashion.
And so the reporter wascommenting on how shocked they
were that they could walk downthe street with Marilyn F and
Monroe and nobody noticed.
And when they commented that toher, she said do you want me to
(39:26):
want to see me become her?
Yeah, and then everybody was,you know, scrambling and jumping
and like wanting to take herpicture and get near her, and it
was she didn't put anything on,she just shifted her energy.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Yeah, I love that she opened her light and shined it
onto those around her.
That's what I think of when Isee her in that energy when
she's in Maryland.
It's like this, this huge.
She's just turned on one ofthose huge lights.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
you know the lights that they shine into the sky and
yeah you know, I've sometimesthought the reason that she
reached her level of why she wassuch an icon, is that I think a
lot of hollywood isperformative, and then it's like
the few people like AudreyHepburn or Sophia Loren or
(40:18):
Marilyn Monroe, like those arethe people that know how to
shift their energy and it's abig difference and that's why
they become such legends, suchicons, and I think it's a
worthwhile skill, you know.
I mean, I think it could be veryhelpful in life, but at the
same time, that is actually morethan anything else, even, I
would say, more than economics.
(40:39):
That is what's at the core ofpeople's like outreach, when a
woman does embody her sensuality, is that they know that's what
the religions know, that's whatthe blue bloods know, that's
what the masons knew, it's whatpeople know that women are
(40:59):
capable of when they tap intothat power.
That's what's scary.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Well, I think they were afraid of women.
That's why they made us bitethe apple had to make us
responsible.
Yeah, I know right, it was neveran apple.
I mean, it had to make usresponsible.
Yeah, I know right, it wasnever an apple, right, but that
whole story is really aboutmaking.
This is just sorry, this is alittle.
(41:27):
This is actually totally offtopic.
It's in the realm of sensualityand the issues between you know
the sexes.
Sometimes, when we're talkingabout male and female as
partners, that story is reallyabout them making human males
responsible for the birth ofhumanity and about making her
the bad guy, because she's theone that tempted him and that
(41:50):
sets the tone for thepuritanical belief system that's
caused so much of the issueswithin sensuality, where, even
in 2025, which, honestly, 50years ago I mean maybe 40 years
ago when I was a kid I was like,first of all, pot will be legal
in the that long, and then theother one was.
(42:12):
I remember thinking to myselfbecause I was very capable of
sensual pleasure at a very youngage and I think it actually
protected me in many waysbecause I wasn't easy to, you
know, be tricked by some of theyoung, the teen boys in town,
but I really thought by 2025,that sensuality and masturbation
(42:33):
and topics like that would justbe like you know, and they are
much more.
I mean like, let's look at thepodcasts that are out there.
People are talking about justabout everything in the content.
I see, but I still see howuncomfortable people get when
you bring up sexuality or justthe word sex.
It's like I had oh, that's,that's it In my newsletter Glow
Up With Shaman Isis.
I never had more people cancelmy newsletter than when I put
(42:57):
out a newsletter about sexualityand I didn't even use the word
I use as sensuality and I had Ithink it was 18 people
immediately cancel thenewsletter and it, which was
fine.
I refilled those pretty quickly, but I was like really in 2025?
And I didn't say anything thatit could even be remotely
construed as being too much.
(43:17):
I just said that it was aboutspirituality and sexuality and
that you know you needed to beaware of how spirituality and
sensuality work together andthat you want to be in flow.
And it was like really in 2025?
.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Really In 2025?
Yeah, you know, because I thinkthat muggles will hold shaman,
a shamanic personality, to thesame standard they would hold a
priest.
You're not supposed to.
You know, you're supposed to bebeyond sex.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Well, I'm redefining shamanism.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Yes, you are girl.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Oh, my gosh, fab.
So before we wrap up the show,I would love to ask if there's,
if there's, a tip that you couldshare from your experience that
will help our listeners getmore in touch with their
sensuality, and it can berelated to sex itself or just
sensual living.
(44:14):
Uh, do you have a tip to share?
Speaker 2 (44:19):
I'm just trying to pick one I know you have.
I know you have a roster inthere, I think I think that the
the easiest one, um, at leastfor me.
What?
What was able to bring medeeper into my body?
Because, again, as someonewho's diagnosed with ADHD since
(44:40):
they're a child and you know,that is just like somebody who
naturally multitask and have somany thoughts in my head at once
In order to bring the awarenessin, I had to do a very mundane
task, while being completelyaware of it.
What actually led me to studyTantra seriously was my first
(45:11):
time doing a meditation where wewere breathing into our chakras
, by myself at home, fullyclosed.
I went into spontaneous what Iwould call a full body rocking
ass orgasm.
Describe it?
I can't describe it, I can only.
(45:32):
It's like asking somebody todescribe a sneeze.
You can only say what it's like.
You can't say what it is youhave to experience it actually
sneeze is very similar to anorgasm.
Right, it's just like you.
You know what happened when ithappened.
You can't describe it.
You can't tell someone how to doit but, anything, any um
(45:53):
practice, whether it ismeditation or actually doing the
dishes while imagining thatyou're breathing through your
hands, as you do.
I literally breathe through myhands when I work on people's
bodies.
It's what helps me to center,and sometimes I play a little
game with myself where I'll dolike attention ping pong, where
I'll be like like some peopleare like wow, that your touch is
(46:16):
so intense, it's so amazing,and then I'll like take my
attention away and I'llimmediately feel their body
shift Again.
It's literally like magic.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
It is.
You know, you guys, if you, ifyou are into spirituality and
you're into mindfulness, I haveto tell you and you and you like
you know to be a sensual beingcause, that's that's, that's to
me they like, that's the mostevolved.
One of the most evolved aspectsof being on the journey is
learning how to really commandyour sensuality.
The spiritual practices canreally take your sensual living
(46:49):
and sensuality to new heights.
Why?
My first full-bodied,spontaneous orgasm was actually
in meditation and I wascompletely taken by surprise
because I wasn't expecting it tohappen, but I was in the most
relaxed state I had been in inyears and it was incredible and
(47:11):
I was like, oh my God, thesecrets of the universe are
being revealed.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
So we've talked about this before and it's
interesting.
So we both said the same thing.
We both said we weren'texpecting it to happen, which is
a vital component to it.
Because if you're expecting itto happen, trust me it's not
going to happen.
Once your brain like again,going back to like the analogy
of the computer once your brainwraps itself around a goal,
going back to like the analogyof the computer, once your brain
(47:36):
wraps itself around a goal, theonly information, the only
methods you have to get to thatgoal are what you've already
done in the past.
You're not going to have a newexperience unless you're not
expecting it.
I've had people convulse offtables because they weren't
expecting it.
But the people that like readabout it.
I'm just going to you know, menwill.
Men will try to make it intoyou know their pc muscle
(47:57):
exercises.
Like you know, we're gonna liftweights with my balls.
It's not that.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
It's not that it is you need to tell more stories
like that.
I have to have you on againwhere we just tell the hilarious
stories, please.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Yeah, you know again, this is sort of an ethereal
topic for me and one of the Ireally appreciate my time with
you, not just here but ingeneral, and the work that we've
done together, because I feellike you're very good at helping
me redefine my role, because ifwe're constantly evolving, our
(48:34):
roles have to constantly evolveto, such as manager, ceo,
assistant you know what I meanLike we need to continually keep
bringing creativity andevolution to the roles that we
choose, and I think that youknow in my next life I will
probably want to work moreexclusively with women and
(48:55):
couples.
One of my favorite things to dois couples retreats, because
when we have a one-on-oneexperience, if there is an
attraction, which there shouldbe you should find the
environment and the experience aturn on um.
But when you come with apartner, then that lives beyond
(49:21):
this session versus just beingin this container, and I think
that's great as a start.
But I think a lot of people dolike a lot of men, I will say
will have a session in order tobecome a better lover and then
not share any of the techniquesthat they got because they're
afraid.
They're afraid of being judged,they're afraid of getting
caught and it's like you know,at the end of the day you didn't
(49:43):
go and have an affair.
You didn't go and have sex witha random person.
You didn't pay for sex.
You didn't do anything thatreally um is outside of your
agreement, other than not saywhat you did.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
Well, you know it's interesting, you bring that up
before we go.
I have to bring this one upbecause it's something that I
find really interesting is howmany partners will say, well, he
or she or they, whatever it ishad better not take care of
themselves.
That's against the rules andit's like that is mind-blowing
(50:19):
to me and I mean it's my, it'sblown my mind free because I've
heard it.
I remember back in the 90sbeing like uh, I was always that
person that was trying to bringup topics that weren't allowed,
because I was like I justthought that I thought it was
stupid that they weren't allowedand uh, uh, and I I can't.
I had a whole conversation witheight women and they were all
like, oh, I've never, I've nevertouched myself and I would be,
(50:43):
very upset with if I found outthat he touched himself and I
was like I'm sorry, are youkidding me?
do you actually think he's not?
You think he's not never have.
Are you insane?
Speaker 2 (50:53):
and you know it hasn't gotten that much better
in the last 30 years it hasn'tgotten much better, and you know
, really the sad part about itis not the fact that someone
thinks that you are violating arelationship agreement by
self-pleasuring.
The sad part is that the personyou're with knows they feel
(51:13):
your judgment around it, theyrespond to it and so it becomes
an off topic.
And then you wonder why, likemost relationships after four or
five years are dead.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Well, you're forcing someone to lie.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
You're forcing them to show up in a lie in your
relationship because you can'thandle them taking care of their
business.
I just find that bizarre.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
And also, we haven't had the, we haven't had the
education, we haven't had thespaces to talk about this safely
, and so so I love all of theexciting things that you and I
are cooking up for 2025.
Yeah, why don't you talk aboutthat?
For, for you and I are cookingup for 2025.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Yeah, why don't you talk about that?
For, for you know, let's talkabout that.
So you guys, we got some.
We got some news for you forthis year.
What's going on with us, fab?
Speaker 2 (52:03):
Well, there's both of our podcasts for one, this
lovely experience here, and Iwill soon be launching Are you
ready?
Good, horny Citizens?
Oh, I'm calling that everythingyou never wanted to know.
We also have embodimentretreats.
(52:24):
We have our glow the fuck upretreat.
I'll say it again, just in caseyou want to edit that out.
We have our GTFU retreatscoming up, where we are
exploring, um, so many aspectsof sensual living and embodiment
and in all of its differentforms.
But part of that will be a lotof training around sensuality
(52:44):
and feeling embodied in your, inyour skin all of the time, um,
and how we can also reflect thatoutward, because sometimes you
do all of the inner work andyou're still like, well, it's
not showing up.
In my experience, my 3Dexperience, you know.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
It's so exciting, so you guys need to get away with
two fabulous women and oneamazing man and the fans that
are going to come join us at theGTFU retreat.
You have to join us in June 4ththrough the 8th.
We're going to be in theDominican Republic teaching you
about sensual living and how toglow the F up.
Speaker 2 (53:23):
It's going to be, and we're also having this.
These conversations arehappening weekly on our Facebook
lives.
Speaker 1 (53:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
Join the conversation .
Speaker 1 (53:31):
Yeah, you guys come up.
We just started a group calledSoul Tech over on Facebook.
Come join us.
A great group of people,creatives and artists and just
amazing people joining the groupalready, so come hang out with
us and you can watch us live.
Every almost every Tuesdaynight, it's me, carlton and Fab,
who are all part of the GTFUteacher team, and so come check
(53:53):
us out.
Fab, if people wanted to followyou, learn more about you,
where would they go?
Speaker 2 (54:00):
They would go to my Instagram page at Bliss Body
Temple, and we also have awebsite which is
blissbodytemplecom.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
All right, you guys heard it from the stunning
Fabulous's lips herself.
Thank you so much, darling, forcoming on.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
Thank you, cynthia.
Yes, you guys heard it from thestunning.
Speaker 1 (54:17):
Fabulous's lips herself.
Thank you so much darling forcoming on.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
That was fun.
You're welcome, you guys.
Yeah, we're going to do itagain.
Speaker 1 (54:22):
We're going to do it again, for sure.
Oh, I definitely want to do onewhere we share wild stories,
because you and I both have justgot like hilarious stories to
share with people.
Anyway, thanks, you guys.
So much for listening.
If you are not already forlistening, if you are not
already subscribed, what are youthinking?
We are getting close to hittingour 100,000 mark, which I'm
really excited about.
(54:42):
So if you're not alreadysubscribed, subscribe and help
us get to the 100,000 listensmark.
I would really appreciate it.
And if you want to learn moreabout my books, if you don't
already know about my books andmy glow up collection, go to
shamanicistcom.
You can find out about me as aspeaker, check out all the books
that I write and the magazineSoul Tech, sign up for the free
(55:06):
newsletter which comes out everyTuesday morning and, of course,
read Soul Tech magazine forfree and all that good stuff and
, of course, hire me for areading.
So go check it out atshamanicistcom.
And thanks again, you guys, forlistening to Glow Up with
Shaman Isis.
Thanks again.
Fabulous, you're amazing.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Thank you.
Hello and welcome to Glow Up with Shaman Isis.
I am jacked for today's episodeof our podcast.
I have got a dear friend,someone who I love so much, who
has so much to share, so muchknowledge to share, joining us
today.
Fabulous, hello.
Sensuality Coach Extraordinaire.
Thank you so much for coming onthe show.
I'm honored.
(00:21):
Oh, please, it's my pleasure.
So for for our listeners, canyou tell us what is a sensuality
coach exactly?
Speaker 2 (00:31):
oh, you know, when, um, people ask me that I
remember the breakfast club.
Remember when they asked themto do an essay on who do you
think you are?
That's how I feel when Idescribe my work.
My title has been evolvingsteadily, for I've probably been
in this.
(00:52):
Well, I've been in thisprofession for lifetimes, but in
this experience it's probablybeen 2003.
Wow, 22 years where I've beenworking with people both in
session work and in workshop andretreat settings.
Um, a sensuality coach issomeone who shows you how to be
(01:14):
embodied in a way that increasessensation and pleasure and
allows you to infuse all of theaspects of your life not just
lovemaking, not just sex, notjust you know hooking up, but
all of your life withdeliciousness and juiciness and
(01:39):
how to be more present in yourbody.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
I love that.
I love that.
I think that we you and I'vetalked about this before
Sensuality really is about thesenses, and you can have sensual
living, which is all areas ofyour life, and and introduce
sensualness and senses into allareas of your life.
I have to ask you a questionthat I'm absolutely dying to ask
.
So Tantra is that that's inyour wheelhouse?
Speaker 2 (02:07):
dying to ask.
So tantra, is that?
That's in your wheelhouse, it'sin my wheelhouse and it was my
jump off point.
Speaker 1 (02:09):
Yeah, um, what are some of the misconceptions about
?
So, so you know, the shows glowup with shaman.
I saw about raisingconsciousness and spirituality
and living your most beautifullife.
What are some of the thechallenges that you see in the
spiritual and mindfulness worldwhen it comes to the topic of
sex or tantra?
Speaker 2 (02:28):
uh, probably the same ones I had going in.
I, uh was actually a freelancewriter.
Um, I was reporting when Iended up in a tantra course and
it was because I was so burntout from the entertainment beat
that I asked for something morewith more substance.
And it's a long story.
(02:50):
But I ended up at a Tantraretreat.
And I'm a New Yorker.
New Yorkers tend to be verygrounded and about very goal
oriented and mind based.
So I come to a workshop full ofpeople that I guess you would
call new agers, you know, likepeople that you would find in
(03:11):
Marin County, and their languageis so different.
I was in complete judgment andI wasn't really sure what I was
signing up for.
I have always had an interestin sensuality, from the time I
found my mom's Kama Sutra underher mattress when I was seven.
But I mean, that's probably thefirst memory I've had of being
(03:34):
like there is something more tothis than what people say it is.
Yeah, so I um, what I havedealt with is how to position
the offering in a way thatdoesn't ignore the sex, the
(03:57):
sensuality, because that's whateveryone's interested in.
If we're honest, um, but beingable to, you can't really market
Tantra.
I mean, it's illegal the momentyou start talking about
touching people's entire bodies.
There are legalities involved,and so marketing myself as a
(04:18):
Tantra teacher came with somereally delicious lessons.
Came with some really deliciouslessons.
I think one time a clientcalled me a drill sergeant
because I was so, you know,wanting people to enjoy the
experience as a sensualexperience, but then also trying
to offer.
There's so much more beyondthis, beyond just like rubbing
(04:41):
genitals or touching yourself ina way that produces a very what
I, what I think is what mostpeople have a very low grade
orgasmic experience.
Speaker 1 (04:51):
Oh, I love that logo, you know, can I tell you I
really, it's we.
You and I've had conversationsabout this before.
Going through my spiritualawakening and journey and
becoming more in touch with my,my mind, body and soul has
really enhanced my sensualpleasure, and is that, is that
(05:14):
part of the?
Is that one of the mostimportant jobs of a sensuality
coach is really helping peoplemake that connection become full
circle.
Speaker 2 (05:24):
Absolutely, you know more.
So in recent years I'mrealizing how important it is
and how necessary it is to totalk with people.
Now I will say the majority ofmy experience has been coaching
men.
My experience has been coachingmen.
(05:50):
I literally recently had aclient in their late 30s told me
that he does not.
If it weren't for fluids beingpresent, he would not know if he
had an orgasm or not, and that,like I mean, this was recently,
that just, and I feel like Ineeded to hear that because it's
easy to want to push aside theaspect of this that people judge
(06:12):
.
I feel like I've been judged myentire life because of how I'm
built, like I had an ex thatused to be like you're like
Jessica Rabbit, you're not bad,you're just drawn that way, and
so I think it's very easy it hasalways been very easy to um
sort of pigeonhole me into acertain role, and so I think my
(06:34):
biggest challenge was how to,how to um separate this out from
being called sex work, and Ihad a lot of judgment about that
.
But I came to realize that if Ihave judgment or I'm not
willing to have that label, thenI can't possibly help eradicate
shame and guilt around sex,which is the reason that I do
(06:56):
this.
Speaker 1 (06:58):
I love that you said that, because I was having a
conversation with a clientearlier and we were talking
about shame and guilt and somany people.
I didn't think I had shame andguilt when I before I went
through my spiritual awakening,I thought that was something
that people who'd done somethingwrong had it.
It just never occurred to methat it was something that was
really defining a lot of mydecision making and uh, uh, and
(07:19):
so I love that you brought thatup.
Um, I've found it's interesting.
Even at this point in my life asa gen xer, I still find how so
many people who becomeimmediately uncomfortable when
you talk about something likemasturbation, and still stunned
at how many women I speak to whohave never actually come they
(07:44):
know what it is uh, they don'tthink it actually occurs for
women.
They've like bought into thatwhole mod, like when we were
young in the 70s and the 80s andthe 90s.
Uh, I remember having thisconversation with doctors where
I would say I would try to talkto them about self-pleasure and
they would say, well, whatdoesn't happen for a woman?
And we're talking about 20years ago and I was like, excuse
me, I don't think we've come avery long way in 20 years.
Speaker 2 (08:08):
You know, I I think I once said to someone if men had
any idea how often women don'tcome, the world would stop, do
they do, they, do they care?
It's not something.
I'm a little, I'm a littleconfused about that part.
Speaker 1 (08:23):
I mean, I'm not saying in my own personal
experience, mind you.
Speaker 2 (08:25):
I actually want to share something that um, yeah,
really is this is very fresh andrecent because in recent years
I have um, I have done a lotless one-on-one.
I have uh really been enjoyingtraining uh people in this,
training people in sensuality,and occasionally I'll dip back
(08:48):
in and do one-on-one sessionswith clients, and this week was
one of those times and Iremember walking out of it
feeling like this is the bestexperience that I can have with
(09:10):
men, literally the bestexperience.
I have men coming in who arerequesting to get intimacy
skills, requesting to be taughthow to be more present, how to
be better lovers, how to havemore enjoyment, how to feel more
, and it isn't a very safecontainer it is it ends when it
(09:37):
ends like it is literally fromwhat I am hearing and what I
have experienced, justrelationally, socially, right
now it is the best experienceand I'm so.
You know, every time that I doone-on-one sessions with men, I
love men more.
It's really easy to not likemen and it's really easy to talk
(09:58):
about all of the you know, justall of the injustice, right,
and all of the everything,everything that's going on.
It's just there.
Are men out there that reallydesire to be good lovers and to
be good partners and, you know,I think all of us are lost in
(10:20):
that way, just because of allthe shame and guilt attached to
it.
But women have a lot moreresources and a lot more spaces
that are supportive in which tohave conversations and training.
Yeah, no, I agree with you likewe literally need to be trained
in the most pleasurable activityfor most of us that exists.
Speaker 1 (10:44):
I, a few years ago, I did.
I was I was definitely in adifferent state of mind and I
was promoting my sustainablecollection intention and I did a
mini campaign we will call itwhere I mentioned that I thought
I believed that self-pleasureshould be taught to young people
and you would have thought thatI dropped a bomb on the
(11:04):
internet.
I couldn't believe.
Even the most liberal peoplethat I knew out there fighting
for LGBTQ rights were like oh mygosh, you know, are you okay?
And I'm like, yeah, I'm doinggreat.
Why do you ask?
And it's like, well, becauseyou, you talked about teaching
young people.
And it's like, yes, you have afew.
How many women wouldn't end upwith children before they
(11:26):
committed to a relationship orhaving children that they didn't
actually plan on having, ifthey actually knew how to
pleasure themselves before theymet a boy or a young man?
You know, I, I think I, I wouldthink it would help.
But also I, I think if men weretaught how to take care of a
partner and I say woman, men,you, you know, those are
obviously traditional roles, butI'm very open-minded, I don't
(11:47):
care what it is but if peoplewere taught how to be present
and how to take care of thepartner that they were with
before they actually got with apartner in the first place.
And tell me if you disagreewith this.
I think it would helptremendously in relationships.
I think it may make people alittle bit more selective,
(12:08):
especially if they understoodthat you take on the energy of
the people that you're with, soyou want to be selective in who
you are with and how you show upin that moment.
Would you agree with thatAbsolutely.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
A hundred percent and you know, I feel that I'm a lot
more able to be embodied in myembodiment practice right now
because of my age.
I think in my 20s there was toomuch of a threat of I'm always
going to be asked to, you know,um, to uh, shift my boundaries,
(12:38):
or that I would only be seen asa sexual being and not as
someone who actually hasknowledge and experience.
You know, there's a wonderfuldocumentary out there.
It's not really well known but,like every time I see it, it
literally brings me to tearsbecause it is about how people
who are born into lineages ofwanting to do this really
(13:03):
important sacred work I don'thave any, any training, you know
, and it's yeah, I mean, I justI'm hoping that we enter a time
in my lifetime where it is a lotmore accessible and a lot more
acceptable and that we just kindof grow up and get out of
kindergarten when it comes yeah,sexuality, yeah, the patriarchy
(13:26):
, and you know, women boughtinto the patriarchy as well.
Speaker 1 (13:30):
We're equally responsible for tolerating a lot
of it For as long as we did.
Granted, we were under thethumb, but it really the
puritanical framework thatAmericans were raised in has
given us and it's changing, butit definitely I mean it's
definitely affected people inthe guilt and shame department
(13:50):
in the.
We don't talk about that, youknow.
Oh, did she just mention sex?
I mean, even when we this isactually kind of funny, you know
, you can mention murder onsocial media and mass murder and
show video footage.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yeah, kids can shoot guns and bomb villages, but they
can't learn from a trainedprofessional how to have
pleasure so that they're notstuck in.
Speaker 1 (14:13):
You don't even have to be naked Like we we, fab and
I do, if you guys some of youguys already know that are my
fans and listeners know that Faband I do retreats and things
together, so we're we're quiteclose and we've gone through
this thing where we, when we docertain types of workshops and
retreats, we have to be soselective about our language,
because we'll get we'll getshadow banned for mentioning sex
(14:35):
, but you can mention massmurder and show video footage of
people shooting each other, andyou know it's just craziness,
do you?
Do you?
Have you seen much change,though, in recent years?
Do you think we're finallystarting to loosen up a little
bit?
Speaker 2 (14:51):
I don't, I don't know .
However, I do know that it is aninside job and, like what I
shared earlier about realizingthat I cannot do anything to
eradicate guilt and shame if I'mnot willing to be judged, to be
a pigeonhole, to be, you know,called whatever, whatever people
(15:15):
want to label me, as you know,and I mean I'm pretty unfiltered
in my, in my, my own world.
I don't have a whole lot of sortof authority figures that I
need to be concerned with.
I have made this career mylife's work and you know so I'm
not necessarily in a traditionalenvironment where I have to
(15:36):
worry about.
You know, I did this podcastand now I'm going to lose my job
or, you know, my grandma's notgoing to talk.
You know, I don't, I don't, Idon't have that in my space
anymore, and it's still, youknow, an effort to break through
and be able to speaktransparently about the work.
Because, again, we just don'thave outlets that are considered
(16:01):
safe, and I mean there was apoint where I considered getting
like a psychology license and Iwas like no, actually most
psychologists I know are F andnothing.
Speaker 1 (16:11):
Crazy.
Yeah, they are.
Yeah, yeah, that's true.
Speaker 2 (16:16):
But you know, cynthia , I guess the rewards I'm not
expecting those rewards to comefrom society.
I can only do my part to be anintegrity to what I feel is my
highest vision or my highestoffering.
The rewards come when you get aphone call from someone that
(16:39):
saw you 10 years ago and says,with all the respect, I
literally think about you everytime I have an orgasm, and not
in the way that you know, not ina sleazy way.
I just remember that you told meto breathe and how that's
changed all of my experiencesand my experiences with my
partners yeah, I love that youbring this up.
Speaker 1 (17:03):
this is something that I don't think.
If you're not an intuitiveempath or somebody who works in
a healing modality, which isdefinitely essential coaching,
you know it, heals andflourishes, helps people
flourish.
I don't think a lot of peoplewho aren't in, who aren't gifted
in that way, understand thatthe vast majority of the work
(17:26):
that you do is in these momentswhere you are nudging, casting a
light in the right direction,giving somebody a little bit of
a lift or a push, the rightsentence, the right word, and
that accumulation of thatconstant.
It's a lifetime choice to bepresent when people need the
(17:48):
right word or language and andit adds up to this incredible
life experience that I thinkgets missed by a lot of people
who aren't present for it.
What's the?
So I?
I'm fascinated by the fact thatyou, you work with a lot of men,
and I joke about men not caringabout whether or not a woman
(18:10):
comes or not, but I actuallymean that jokingly, because I
will say that divine masculineshave really stepped forward in
the last couple of years.
There are thousands of men,maybe tens of thousands of men
all over the planet who arestepping forward to say to guys
men, you know we've allowed thewomen to do a lot of evolving
over the last 20 years, but it'stime for us to step up and
(18:33):
start to evolve.
So I think we're definitelygoing to see a big shift in the
coming years.
What is the biggest thing thatyou see that men struggle with
when it comes to sensuality?
Speaker 2 (18:42):
They cut off sensation, sensuality they cut
off sensation just they cut itoff and um, part of the session
work sometimes involvesliterally body mapping.
So when I touch your chest,where the sensations that you're
feeling there, can you breatheinto that?
I can.
I mean, you know, and I amintuitive, intuitive and I can
(19:03):
pick up things sometimes frompeople's bodies that in my mind
are like it's just obvious, likeit's literally just physics
just observe and listen.
But maybe just you knowintuition and we can't gauge our
own intuition sometimes, youknow, but I've literally had
moments of touching someone'schest and starting to cry
(19:24):
because they're not expressingan emotion I can feel based on
where a person is contracting orholding or squeezing, but
they're almost, I would say 90%of, not just men.
Everyone has a lot of tensionin their, would say 90% of not
(19:48):
just men everyone has a lot oftension in their, you know, in
their pelvic area.
We're all contracting there.
I think, depending on yourgeography, that has a lot to do
with it too, because if you'rein a city like New York where
you're constantly having toprotect your personal space and
there's not a lot of space andyou're in crowds and there's a
lot of aggression and thingsgoing on that you have to,
you're in crowds and there's alot of aggression and things
going on that you have to, youknow, you just sort of do that
(20:09):
and it's, um, like anything else.
It's, uh, a practice ofreminding yourself wow, I don't
need to be squeezing my neckright now, I don't need to be
clenching my jaw right now.
You know, and I think, for alot of the people that come in
without really uh knowing whatthey're signing up for, and I
think for a lot of the peoplethat come in without really uh
knowing what they're signing upfor, because I think we do know,
I think everybody knowsenergetically what they came for
(20:32):
, because otherwise we wouldn't,we wouldn't have a successful
business.
People would be if all theywanted was sex.
There are plenty of escortsthat offer, you know, or or
other types of you know, sexualprofessionals or erotic
professionals that offersessions that are way cheaper.
Um, they are coming forsomething more.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah, um, what about women?
What do you think about?
I mean, now you said thateverybody sort of holds tension
and uh, struggles with beingpresent.
What do you see with women insensuality, is it?
Speaker 2 (21:09):
guilt, shame.
It's performance.
That's interesting, A lot ofperformance.
Looking uh, sexy, sexyappearing women that I know are
(21:34):
performing, yeah, and I thinkwe're taught to perform.
I think we're afraid to notperform.
Um, you know, I had anexperience when I was very young
.
My first relationship was withsomeone considerably older than
me and I mean I was a kid, I was17, going on 18, when I met him
and I thought that I wasactually experiencing orgasms,
and it wasn't until I actuallyhad one that I realized I had
(21:57):
not, because it still feels good.
I mean, sex feels good andthat's really, the end of the
day, why.
I mean Tantra is teaching youthe same embodiment techniques
that yoga or behavioral therapyor another holistic practice
would teach you.
We're using sex because thatjust superpowers the whole thing
, and we're interested when it'sabout sex, but really it's all
it is is just bringing you morepower for your senses.
(22:22):
And so I lost my point.
Where I was going.
Oh, where I was going with thatis that I was not lying.
I was expressing that I wasenjoying these sexual
experiences and that I washaving orgasms, and then, when I
realized what was going on andshared it he was never able to
have sex with me again,literally never again, yeah,
(22:45):
ever wow and it took me years tofigure out what that was,
because he didn't put words toit you know it was just that's
all you know.
It started to become that's allyou think about I love you.
Anybody will have sex with you,but I love you.
And and it became a thing where, like he couldn't even watch a
(23:06):
movie where people were havingintercourse he'd have to change
the channel because that's how,how hurt he was.
But I had to figure that out andeven that that in and of itself
is crazy that we can't evenhave that conversation and say
hey, when you said that.
It totally hurt my ego and it'smaking me not want to perform
like I can't, you know.
(23:27):
Also, you know?
Another thing that's really umkind of hitting me is is how
many men are on pills like is.
Is really that all it's aboutis just staying hard and banging
like?
Speaker 1 (23:42):
which usually has more to do with their mental,
physical, emotional andspiritual health.
And I mean, the pill is thereto cover up for the fact that
they're not in flow andalignment.
They get in flow and alignment,then that very few of them are
going to actually need a pill.
It's like a lazy man's way ofstaying sexual, but it's not
enjoyable.
For the record, men, unless youreally need it and your
(24:05):
partner's aware that you reallyneed it, you're just being a
selfish jerk.
Sorry, I had to say that's mypersonal opinion.
Um, and when I, when I see I'veI've seen men over time and,
and the vast majority of themthat were taking pills that
didn't need it, we're doing itfor selfish reasons.
I mean, it's great if they wereactually capable of being
present, but the vast majorityof them were doing it for the
(24:26):
wrong reasons, so they weren'tactually present.
In her experience, it wasreally just about when that's
okay to switch that up to totake in a relationship.
Do you think that the the?
I lost my train of thoughtcompletely.
Speaker 2 (24:44):
It's okay, I do it all the time.
Speaker 1 (24:45):
I know right, the, do you think?
Oh, I remember porn, which Idon't personally have a problem
with what I will call healthyporn.
I do think that it'saccessibility on the internet
has actually done a lot ofdamage to the younger
generations and that's one ofthe reasons why they're not
(25:11):
having children.
I mean, the economy has a lotto do with it and the job
opportunities and things likethat, but I do think a lot of it
is the overexposure.
I mean, the statistics on thenumber of the young people
having sex is shocking.
The rarity of which they areactually having sex with a
partner or someone has droppeddramatically in recent years and
I, I I wonder if that's uh,something that or no.
(25:34):
And the performative aspect ofit, I mean it's, it's absolutely
exhausting and it's like do youreally want a porn star?
Why don't you just go get aporn star?
If you want a porn star, likedon't, don't, uh, uh, expect
that all the time, but uh whatare your thoughts on that?
Speaker 2 (25:48):
actually would not want a porn star and I think we
see a lot of evidence of that.
If you go into forums where yousee, you know women and men
discussing relationships and sex.
Um, there's a lot of talk rightnow about being like ran
through or having a high bodycount, and it's like wow, okay,
well, you know judgment, alittle judgment there judgment,
a lot of judgment, and I don't Ipersonally don't have a problem
(26:12):
with porn.
I think it's a tool likeanything else.
I think, just like with a is,if you're someone who is
embodied and considers yourself,um, a good lover and someone
(26:39):
that has access to their ownsensation, but if you're using
it to check out, it can be anaddiction like anything else.
The other thing is they're notshowing you anything but the
actual raw sex act.
You know, and and we all knowhow to do that instinctively, um
, if you're watching porn andlearning how to be with a
(27:00):
partner through porn, thenyou're gonna have a very
unsatisfactory erotic life.
I think you know, and and againyou know, sometimes my own
perspective is so weird becauseI've been in these environments
since I was a kid.
Um, I grew up in New York inthe 80s like sex was.
(27:24):
I'm not going to say there wasless shame and guilt, but it was
definitely way more out there.
It wasn't as obvious.
The 80s was, I think, abeautiful time.
We had a lot more freedom ofself-expression in the 80s I
(27:46):
feel.
Speaker 1 (27:47):
Yeah, actually I would agree with that, I think I
think, it could be that also.
I don't think that.
I think media in many ways, theevolution of media,
particularly social media, it,it turned um the, in many ways
the people began to be too muchalike because they were getting
(28:08):
it reinforced, or there was,like you know, here's the five
stereotypes of how you can dressand your personality and, uh,
it becomes almost prescriptive,like here's my position in life.
I'm going to be thispersonality type or I don't know
.
It's kind of interesting, uh,the speed, the speed at which
things travel.
Speaker 2 (28:28):
I left my more traditional media career because
of all of that.
What I saw is so much yes, andwhat's the word I'm looking for?
Inauthenticity, and I felt thatit was very soulless and so
hypocritical that, you know,calvin Klein ads could be nude
(28:52):
women and be plastered onbillboards in Times Square and
nobody thought that was sleazy.
And right now, with like thewhole you know OnlyFans, that's
one thing that just reallysticks out to me.
Like I don't have a judgmentabout that, I don't have one
personally, that I don't haveone personally.
I've never thought to have one,I just wouldn't even invest the
(29:14):
time.
But really, like the onlydifference between a lot of what
you see on these fan sites thatyou know regular women are
creating platforms on, andsomething you would have seen in
a billboard or a magazine or inVogue, is that they're in
control of their money.
So really that's what it'sabout.
Speaker 1 (29:37):
Yeah, no, I agree with you.
I think that the women takingcommand of that situation
financially has bothered somepeople.
I like that you brought up thebillboard.
Speaker 2 (29:45):
It's freaking them out.
Speaker 1 (29:47):
Yeah Well, because it's taking the power, the
control, out of their hands.
You know it's like they'vealmost become reverse.
Pick me the.
You know I don't have a problemwith people who do.
I mean, I've had friends whoare porn stars.
I've, you know, friends who'vedone OnlyFans, like I don't care
(30:07):
, I don't judge, I do analyze,try, try to analyze from a
social theorist perspective howthings happen.
Um, the only fans thing isinteresting because it has, it's
allowed the women to monetizeand to take some level of
command over over who getsaccess to them.
And, um, and it's taken thecontrol out of the hands of the
(30:28):
people who were at one pointrunning that show, like the uh,
the big, the big platforms, whowere sort of running that avenue
before women were like you knowwhat, we could just do this
ourselves and it's so crazy,like people have really taken it
to another level they have.
Speaker 2 (30:42):
I have friends with me.
Fans, if you are not makingthat your full-time job, I mean,
there are people making ahundred dollars a month.
You know what I'm saying likeit's not, like this thing where
like, oh no, you're gonna do islike show tna and you know you'd
be like a sugar baby, it's,it's.
Yeah, no, we are, I don't.
(31:02):
I don't.
It's not that I feel like we'rein a worse place than ever, but
we're in a really weird placeyeah, I think everything but but
sexuality, I feel, because youknow what's that quote?
everything is it's.
I think it's an Oscar well puteverything is about sex, except
sex, which is about power it isabout power and everyone wants
(31:25):
sexual power.
We use it to sell and buyeverything that we do, literally
everything what we eat, how wework out, like the clothes we
wear.
Everything is imbued withsexuality, and it's what we're
least adept in.
Speaker 1 (31:46):
Kind of funny, right.
It's interesting that you bringup the, the billboards and and
I I found this interestingbecause both both fab and I for
the listeners both fab and I wemet many years ago when fab had
the first latin uh fashionlifestyle magazine, uh in new
york city.
She was uh iconic and being thefirst at entering an industry
(32:09):
that's now, you know, obviouslya huge part of culture, and was
one of those founding memberswho did that.
We both grew up in that worldand I like that you brought up
the billboards for Calvin Klein,because one of the things I
noticed at that time is if youwere heroin cheek skinny meaning
you had no curves you could beon a billboard in time square.
(32:31):
Now victoria's secrets obviouslyuh is a is more of an unusual
thing.
But even they were five footten, 120 pounds, soaking wet,
and the curves weren't general.
In many cases they weren'tactually like god-given.
But if you threw a woman upthere who was either god-given
or enhanced and they were sexualcurves, suddenly that was a
(32:53):
problem and it's like peoplewere up in arms.
Yeah, so you have.
You don't have a problem withnaked women, you have a problem
with a woman embodying hersensual side, right?
Yeah, and it's still like thatin many ways.
Like I hear the way men talkabout only fans, girls, and it's
like why do you care so much?
Like what do you?
(33:14):
What do you care?
I say men, it's women and menwho say who, who, who will say
the negative things, right?
Speaker 2 (33:21):
it is.
It is women too.
We sometimes face the harshestjudgment from women yeah, I,
yeah, I agree with that.
Speaker 1 (33:28):
So, when it comes to people's bringing sensuality, so
as a sensual coach, sensualitycoach, what are some of the ways
in which people can bringsensuality into their like daily
life?
Speaker 2 (33:45):
So presence is one.
Sometimes, you know, it's kindof like when you try to explain
meditation to someone andthey're like well, I don't know
what that I literally just hadsomebody say I don't know what
you mean when you say focus onyour sacrum, I'm like it
literally means if you need tovisualize an object being there,
you do that.
(34:06):
Whatever will bring you intocontact with that point in your
body and um.
So as an example, this personwas um during a body work
session, clenching their lowerbelly, and I asked them to bring
awareness there and expand andhe didn't.
(34:26):
That didn't work right, becausewe don't all we're not all like
the same neurologically.
So then I said imagine you havea balloon right below your
belly and that as you inhale youare inflating the balloon.
So it's really a process oftesting out different um
sensation modalities to see what, what you connect with.
(34:48):
Right, we don't all connectwith the same thing, like I.
I love all holistic practices.
I do not like acupuncture.
Every time someone's like getacupuncture for them, like, no,
I feel sick, I don't, I don'tlike it, I don't resonate with
it.
But when something lands, youknow, then you're able to take
that tool and use it all of thetime.
So after the session they werelike, wow, that visual of the
(35:08):
balloon really helped.
And I'm like and you can dothat all day long when you're in
a space where you're stressedout or you're not feeling, or
you are with a lover and all youcan do is think, and you're
thinking or you're worried aboutI'm gonna come too fast, I'm
not gonna know how to touch themin the right way.
I don't know how to say thething I want to say.
You know all there is to do isbring your attention inward,
(35:30):
because then that sensuality isit's.
You don't have to do anythingto be sensual just like you
don't have to do anything tobreathe.
We breathe on, we're sleeping,we are sensual beings.
It's not something that you puton it, something you tap into,
and the way to tap into it is bybringing the awareness in and
like exactly the opposite ofwhat we do every day yeah, right
(35:54):
um this this.
Speaker 1 (35:58):
I love that.
The point that you just madeabout the presence, I mean that.
I think that's it's interestingbecause when I think about it
in terms of coming to orgasm,it's the presence without
rigidity, that just fullpresence that allows it to to
(36:19):
become as powerful as it can be.
Obviously, it's morecomplicated than that.
Speaker 2 (36:24):
I'm sure the big challenge, cynthia, is that you
can't again, you can't thinkyour way into embodiment.
A lot of times, when peoplediscover like a practice, like
Tantra or anything that theyfind you know helpful, valuable,
they will immediately go andthey'll read a book about it.
There's, you know.
I don't want to make that wrong, it's not wrong.
(36:46):
However, you are not going toreach a level of experience, of
embodied experience by readingand thinking about it.
It's not a brain activity, it'slike your computer.
We need our computers, we needour Google calendars, and they
do what they do, but they cannotbring you to an altered state
(37:08):
or to a state that you haven'tbeen to before.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
I love that so powerful.
Well, since that sex orsensuality was spirituality and
I I wondered if you could shareon that, because I think that's
such a powerful comment to makeand so very true.
(37:46):
Um, and I don't think mostpeople think of it that way yeah
, it's literally magic, and Ithink that might be.
Speaker 2 (37:53):
For me personally, tapping into that has been the
missing link, the piece that Idon't know how to present yet
without sounding absolutelyinsane, and you know I mean, why
do I care?
I've been perceived as insanemy entire life.
Bring it on, but like it isliterally magic if you can
(38:19):
manage your energy.
If you can manage the way thatyou um hold yourself when you're
talking to people, when you'rehaving sex, when you're in a
meeting, when you show up at aninterview, walk into a room, if
you know how to work with thatenergy, you can literally shift
(38:40):
circumstances that are likebeyond comprehension.
I shared with you, I think atour first retreat, my favorite
story about Marilyn Monroe wasthere was a reporter who asked
to shadow her to spend like aday in New York City with her
Right and like Marilyn just kindof showed up in her plain
clothes and you know, like justyou know yoga Marilyn, like
(39:04):
regular Marilyn and the fashion.
And so the reporter wascommenting on how shocked they
were that they could walk downthe street with Marilyn F and
Monroe and nobody noticed.
And when they commented that toher, she said do you want me to
(39:26):
want to see me become her?
Yeah, and then everybody was,you know, scrambling and jumping
and like wanting to take herpicture and get near her, and it
was she didn't put anything on,she just shifted her energy.
Speaker 1 (39:41):
Yeah, I love that she opened her light and shined it
onto those around her.
That's what I think of when Isee her in that energy when
she's in Maryland.
It's like this, this huge.
She's just turned on one ofthose huge lights.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
you know the lights that they shine into the sky and
yeah you know, I've sometimesthought the reason that she
reached her level of why she wassuch an icon, is that I think a
lot of hollywood isperformative, and then it's like
the few people like AudreyHepburn or Sophia Loren or
(40:18):
Marilyn Monroe, like those arethe people that know how to
shift their energy and it's abig difference and that's why
they become such legends, suchicons, and I think it's a
worthwhile skill, you know.
I mean, I think it could be veryhelpful in life, but at the
same time, that is actually morethan anything else, even, I
would say, more than economics.
(40:39):
That is what's at the core ofpeople's like outreach, when a
woman does embody her sensuality, is that they know that's what
the religions know, that's whatthe blue bloods know, that's
what the masons knew, it's whatpeople know that women are
(40:59):
capable of when they tap intothat power.
That's what's scary.
Speaker 1 (41:04):
Well, I think they were afraid of women.
That's why they made us bitethe apple had to make us
responsible.
Yeah, I know right, it was neveran apple.
I mean, it had to make usresponsible.
Yeah, I know right, it wasnever an apple, right, but that
whole story is really aboutmaking.
This is just sorry, this is alittle.
(41:27):
This is actually totally offtopic.
It's in the realm of sensualityand the issues between you know
the sexes.
Sometimes, when we're talkingabout male and female as
partners, that story is reallyabout them making human males
responsible for the birth ofhumanity and about making her
the bad guy, because she's theone that tempted him and that
(41:50):
sets the tone for thepuritanical belief system that's
caused so much of the issueswithin sensuality, where, even
in 2025, which, honestly, 50years ago I mean maybe 40 years
ago when I was a kid I was like,first of all, pot will be legal
in the that long, and then theother one was.
(42:12):
I remember thinking to myselfbecause I was very capable of
sensual pleasure at a very youngage and I think it actually
protected me in many waysbecause I wasn't easy to, you
know, be tricked by some of theyoung, the teen boys in town,
but I really thought by 2025,that sensuality and masturbation
(42:33):
and topics like that would justbe like you know, and they are
much more.
I mean like, let's look at thepodcasts that are out there.
People are talking about justabout everything in the content.
I see, but I still see howuncomfortable people get when
you bring up sexuality or justthe word sex.
It's like I had oh, that's,that's it In my newsletter Glow
Up With Shaman Isis.
I never had more people cancelmy newsletter than when I put
(42:57):
out a newsletter about sexualityand I didn't even use the word
I use as sensuality and I had Ithink it was 18 people
immediately cancel thenewsletter and it, which was
fine.
I refilled those pretty quickly, but I was like really in 2025?
And I didn't say anything thatit could even be remotely
construed as being too much.
(43:17):
I just said that it was aboutspirituality and sexuality and
that you know you needed to beaware of how spirituality and
sensuality work together andthat you want to be in flow.
And it was like really in 2025?
.
Speaker 2 (43:30):
Really In 2025?
Yeah, you know, because I thinkthat muggles will hold shaman,
a shamanic personality, to thesame standard they would hold a
priest.
You're not supposed to.
You know, you're supposed to bebeyond sex.
Speaker 1 (43:49):
Well, I'm redefining shamanism.
Speaker 2 (43:51):
Yes, you are girl.
Speaker 1 (43:54):
Oh, my gosh, fab.
So before we wrap up the show,I would love to ask if there's,
if there's, a tip that you couldshare from your experience that
will help our listeners getmore in touch with their
sensuality, and it can berelated to sex itself or just
sensual living.
(44:14):
Uh, do you have a tip to share?
Speaker 2 (44:19):
I'm just trying to pick one I know you have.
I know you have a roster inthere, I think I think that the
the easiest one, um, at leastfor me.
What?
What was able to bring medeeper into my body?
Because, again, as someonewho's diagnosed with ADHD since
(44:40):
they're a child and you know,that is just like somebody who
naturally multitask and have somany thoughts in my head at once
In order to bring the awarenessin, I had to do a very mundane
task, while being completelyaware of it.
What actually led me to studyTantra seriously was my first
(45:11):
time doing a meditation where wewere breathing into our chakras
, by myself at home, fullyclosed.
I went into spontaneous what Iwould call a full body rocking
ass orgasm.
Describe it?
I can't describe it, I can only.
(45:32):
It's like asking somebody todescribe a sneeze.
You can only say what it's like.
You can't say what it is youhave to experience it actually
sneeze is very similar to anorgasm.
Right, it's just like you.
You know what happened when ithappened.
You can't describe it.
You can't tell someone how to doit but, anything, any um
(45:53):
practice, whether it ismeditation or actually doing the
dishes while imagining thatyou're breathing through your
hands, as you do.
I literally breathe through myhands when I work on people's
bodies.
It's what helps me to center,and sometimes I play a little
game with myself where I'll dolike attention ping pong, where
I'll be like like some peopleare like wow, that your touch is
(46:16):
so intense, it's so amazing,and then I'll like take my
attention away and I'llimmediately feel their body
shift Again.
It's literally like magic.
Speaker 1 (46:26):
It is.
You know, you guys, if you, ifyou are into spirituality and
you're into mindfulness, I haveto tell you and you and you like
you know to be a sensual beingcause, that's that's, that's to
me they like, that's the mostevolved.
One of the most evolved aspectsof being on the journey is
learning how to really commandyour sensuality.
The spiritual practices canreally take your sensual living
(46:49):
and sensuality to new heights.
Why?
My first full-bodied,spontaneous orgasm was actually
in meditation and I wascompletely taken by surprise
because I wasn't expecting it tohappen, but I was in the most
relaxed state I had been in inyears and it was incredible and
(47:11):
I was like, oh my God, thesecrets of the universe are
being revealed.
Speaker 2 (47:14):
So we've talked about this before and it's
interesting.
So we both said the same thing.
We both said we weren'texpecting it to happen, which is
a vital component to it.
Because if you're expecting itto happen, trust me it's not
going to happen.
Once your brain like again,going back to like the analogy
of the computer once your brainwraps itself around a goal,
going back to like the analogyof the computer, once your brain
(47:36):
wraps itself around a goal, theonly information, the only
methods you have to get to thatgoal are what you've already
done in the past.
You're not going to have a newexperience unless you're not
expecting it.
I've had people convulse offtables because they weren't
expecting it.
But the people that like readabout it.
I'm just going to you know, menwill.
Men will try to make it intoyou know their pc muscle
(47:57):
exercises.
Like you know, we're gonna liftweights with my balls.
It's not that.
Speaker 1 (48:02):
It's not that it is you need to tell more stories
like that.
I have to have you on againwhere we just tell the hilarious
stories, please.
Speaker 2 (48:11):
Yeah, you know again, this is sort of an ethereal
topic for me and one of the Ireally appreciate my time with
you, not just here but ingeneral, and the work that we've
done together, because I feellike you're very good at helping
me redefine my role, because ifwe're constantly evolving, our
(48:34):
roles have to constantly evolveto, such as manager, ceo,
assistant you know what I meanLike we need to continually keep
bringing creativity andevolution to the roles that we
choose, and I think that youknow in my next life I will
probably want to work moreexclusively with women and
(48:55):
couples.
One of my favorite things to dois couples retreats, because
when we have a one-on-oneexperience, if there is an
attraction, which there shouldbe you should find the
environment and the experience aturn on um.
But when you come with apartner, then that lives beyond
(49:21):
this session versus just beingin this container, and I think
that's great as a start.
But I think a lot of people dolike a lot of men, I will say
will have a session in order tobecome a better lover and then
not share any of the techniquesthat they got because they're
afraid.
They're afraid of being judged,they're afraid of getting
caught and it's like you know,at the end of the day you didn't
(49:43):
go and have an affair.
You didn't go and have sex witha random person.
You didn't pay for sex.
You didn't do anything thatreally um is outside of your
agreement, other than not saywhat you did.
Speaker 1 (49:58):
Well, you know it's interesting, you bring that up
before we go.
I have to bring this one upbecause it's something that I
find really interesting is howmany partners will say, well, he
or she or they, whatever it ishad better not take care of
themselves.
That's against the rules andit's like that is mind-blowing
(50:19):
to me and I mean it's my, it'sblown my mind free because I've
heard it.
I remember back in the 90sbeing like uh, I was always that
person that was trying to bringup topics that weren't allowed,
because I was like I justthought that I thought it was
stupid that they weren't allowedand uh, uh, and I I can't.
I had a whole conversation witheight women and they were all
like, oh, I've never, I've nevertouched myself and I would be,
(50:43):
very upset with if I found outthat he touched himself and I
was like I'm sorry, are youkidding me?
do you actually think he's not?
You think he's not never have.
Are you insane?
Speaker 2 (50:53):
and you know it hasn't gotten that much better
in the last 30 years it hasn'tgotten much better, and you know
, really the sad part about itis not the fact that someone
thinks that you are violating arelationship agreement by
self-pleasuring.
The sad part is that the personyou're with knows they feel
(51:13):
your judgment around it, theyrespond to it and so it becomes
an off topic.
And then you wonder why, likemost relationships after four or
five years are dead.
Speaker 1 (51:25):
Oh yeah.
Speaker 2 (51:25):
Well, you're forcing someone to lie.
Speaker 1 (51:28):
You're forcing them to show up in a lie in your
relationship because you can'thandle them taking care of their
business.
I just find that bizarre.
Speaker 2 (51:41):
And also, we haven't had the, we haven't had the
education, we haven't had thespaces to talk about this safely
, and so so I love all of theexciting things that you and I
are cooking up for 2025.
Yeah, why don't you talk aboutthat?
For, for you and I are cookingup for 2025.
Speaker 1 (51:54):
Yeah, why don't you talk about that?
For, for you know, let's talkabout that.
So you guys, we got some.
We got some news for you forthis year.
What's going on with us, fab?
Speaker 2 (52:03):
Well, there's both of our podcasts for one, this
lovely experience here, and Iwill soon be launching Are you
ready?
Good, horny Citizens?
Oh, I'm calling that everythingyou never wanted to know.
We also have embodimentretreats.
(52:24):
We have our glow the fuck upretreat.
I'll say it again, just in caseyou want to edit that out.
We have our GTFU retreatscoming up, where we are
exploring, um, so many aspectsof sensual living and embodiment
and in all of its differentforms.
But part of that will be a lotof training around sensuality
(52:44):
and feeling embodied in your, inyour skin all of the time, um,
and how we can also reflect thatoutward, because sometimes you
do all of the inner work andyou're still like, well, it's
not showing up.
In my experience, my 3Dexperience, you know.
Speaker 1 (53:02):
It's so exciting, so you guys need to get away with
two fabulous women and oneamazing man and the fans that
are going to come join us at theGTFU retreat.
You have to join us in June 4ththrough the 8th.
We're going to be in theDominican Republic teaching you
about sensual living and how toglow the F up.
Speaker 2 (53:23):
It's going to be, and we're also having this.
These conversations arehappening weekly on our Facebook
lives.
Speaker 1 (53:28):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (53:29):
Join the conversation .
Speaker 1 (53:31):
Yeah, you guys come up.
We just started a group calledSoul Tech over on Facebook.
Come join us.
A great group of people,creatives and artists and just
amazing people joining the groupalready, so come hang out with
us and you can watch us live.
Every almost every Tuesdaynight, it's me, carlton and Fab,
who are all part of the GTFUteacher team, and so come check
(53:53):
us out.
Fab, if people wanted to followyou, learn more about you,
where would they go?
Speaker 2 (54:00):
They would go to my Instagram page at Bliss Body
Temple, and we also have awebsite which is
blissbodytemplecom.
Speaker 1 (54:08):
All right, you guys heard it from the stunning
Fabulous's lips herself.
Thank you so much, darling, forcoming on.
Speaker 2 (54:16):
Thank you, cynthia.
Yes, you guys heard it from thestunning.
Speaker 1 (54:17):
Fabulous's lips herself.
Thank you so much darling forcoming on.
Speaker 2 (54:18):
That was fun.
You're welcome, you guys.
Yeah, we're going to do itagain.
Speaker 1 (54:22):
We're going to do it again, for sure.
Oh, I definitely want to do onewhere we share wild stories,
because you and I both have justgot like hilarious stories to
share with people.
Anyway, thanks, you guys.
So much for listening.
If you are not already forlistening, if you are not
already subscribed, what are youthinking?
We are getting close to hittingour 100,000 mark, which I'm
really excited about.
(54:42):
So if you're not alreadysubscribed, subscribe and help
us get to the 100,000 listensmark.
I would really appreciate it.
And if you want to learn moreabout my books, if you don't
already know about my books andmy glow up collection, go to
shamanicistcom.
You can find out about me as aspeaker, check out all the books
that I write and the magazineSoul Tech, sign up for the free
(55:06):
newsletter which comes out everyTuesday morning and, of course,
read Soul Tech magazine forfree and all that good stuff and
, of course, hire me for areading.
So go check it out atshamanicistcom.
And thanks again, you guys, forlistening to Glow Up with
Shaman Isis.
Thanks again.
Fabulous, you're amazing.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
Thank you.
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