Goat and Glaze kick off this episode, possibly titled "FFP" (Fuckery of F**king with People), by recounting their elaborate methods of pranking scammers. Glaze describes responding to a "wrong number" text with absurd Midwest slang, detailing hydroplaning (moist yeehaw), doing donuts (whipping shitthis), U-turns (flippin' a bitch), and parallel parking (urban butt stuff).
They then dive into their most epic scammer encounter: a "boss" (Elizabeth) asking for gift cards. The duo created a fake group chat, with Goat pretending to be an incompetent assistant named "Greg" who repeatedly fumbled the gift card purchase. The scammer, initially frustrated, eventually lost it when Goat "fired" his assistant and sent a Photoshopped image of their house on fire. The scam ended with the scammer completely ceasing communication after this absurd escalation. They share another story of a hot tub scam involving fake Cash App screenshots, and Goat's bizarre experience receiving unsolicited explicit photos after offering to send money to a scammer.
The conversation veers into dark humor and the concept of "trauma boxes" from their previous "Grace" episodes. They discuss a recent incident where they targeted a scammer named Kate, escalating the conversation to a point where they unleashed a wild, accusatory rant about a fictional disaster involving "lab monkeys" and "Johnaldo" taking out the "wrong car," blaming Kate for "botching everything." This barrage of confusion, designed to be completely baffling, successfully drove the scammer away.
Finally, Goat and Glaze touch on the confusing nature of their conversations, likening their news style to a "Glorious Gazette" that would perplex readers. They discuss an upcoming surgery for Goat, joking about potential DMX impressions while doped up, and ponder starting a "No Leg Mom" (NLM) prosthetic company, even brainstorming low-overhead ideas like using dumpster springs for limbs. They also touch on a bizarre "good meat" story involving Bologna and a customer named Greg who was caught trying to steal a train. The episode concludes with them reeling back in from their chaotic tangents, ready to discuss local bridge construction issues.
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