January 1, 2025 • 20 mins
What do you do when everyone thinks that you have the perfect marriage, family, and life--but the truth is you’re struggling? Who do you turn to?
Monica’s journey toward a meaningful relationship with God was transformative. She sought God’s guidance and support in her daily experiences allowing her to feel a deeper sense of connection and peace in all areas of her life.
Monica’s story is a powerful testament to the transformation that can occur when you move from relying solely on your own understanding to turning to God for guidance and support.
Sit back, get comfy, and listen to Monica explain how she learned to rely on God and how you can, too.
Our goal with this episode is to move at least one heart toward God -- is it yours? Let us know! And if you'd like to get involved by becoming a storyteller or donating to the movement, please visit:
Web: godisgoodpodcast.com
Social: www.facebook.com/groups/godisgoodpodcast/
Some of our episodes mention the ACTS Retreat, which is an evangelization retreat from ACTS Missions in San Antonio, TX: www.actsmissions.org.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carol (00:14):
Hello, friends in Christ.
Welcome to this episode of theGod is Good podcast.
Do not forget my teaching.
Take to heart my commands.
Trust in the Lord with all yourheart.
On your own intelligence, do notrely.
In all your ways, be mindful ofhim, and he will make straight
your paths.
(00:35):
Proverbs chapter three, versesone through six.
I'm Carol O'Brien, and I'm yourhost for this episode of the God
is Good podcast.
You're in for a very specialtreat.
Many of you already know her,but if you don't, you're about
to meet one of the most specialpeople in my life.
And soon I hope yours.
(00:56):
She's an inspiration,powerhouse, and a mighty warrior
for God.
All that in an almost five foottall package.
Now, I know that sounds a littleintimidating, and I've told her
many times when I first met her,I was in awe of her.
I saw a woman who was certain ofChrist's love for her, acutely
(01:18):
aware that she was a belovedchild of God, and confident that
she was walking with the HolySpirit.
I immediately thought, I don'tthink I could ever be that
confident of God's love for me.
I'm just not that worthy.
But soon, she shared her story,a story of challenge and
persistence, acceptance andlove.
(01:40):
And that story is theinspiration for this whole
podcast.
Not just today's episode, butthe whole thing.
And you'll soon see why.
First, let me tell you a littlebit about Monica.
She's the very definition ofservant leader.
She's been married to awonderful man for 45 years and
(02:00):
professes that God continues tobe a crucial part of her
marriage.
She has two beautiful childrenwho have their own inspiring
faith journeys.
Monica was a first grade teacherfor many of her 31 years of
teaching and as such hasbeautiful handwriting by the
way.
And now she's a coach for manywomen and men motivating them on
(02:22):
their weight loss journeys.
Her community is her church.
Her large extended family and acountless number of friends.
She's constantly crisscrossingthe state and the country
leading acts, retreats andhelping local churches build up
their acts evangelizationministries.
(02:43):
So without further ado, let'shear from Monica.
Hi, lovely.
Welcome to the podcast.
Monica (02:50):
Hi, how's everybody doing?
Carol (02:53):
Even though I've been to your house multiple times, I
really had to ask you what yourfavorite scripture is.
And of course it's the one weopened with.
Trust in the Lord with all yourheart.
Now, why is that your favoritescripture?
Monica (03:06):
When I look back, at different times in my life, it
was almost like God was askingme to do things that I didn't
think I could do.
And he was kind of asking me,Monica, do you trust me?
Do you trust me a little bit?
Or do you trust me a lot?
Do you trust me with everything?
(03:26):
And it was like, okay, so trustin the Lord with all your heart
has just been my Favoritescripture ever since.
Carol (03:34):
And in the intro, I mentioned that you do have
confidence in God's love and youdo trust in God with all your
heart.
Anyone who knows you can seethat and feel that in you.
Has it always been that way foryou?
Monica (03:50):
Not really.
I grew up Catholic.
I jokingly say, and it's true, Ican count how many times I've
missed church on ten fingers.
And usually it was because I wasin the hospital.
Church was just a part of mylife.
And, but God was way out there.
He wasn't like right in themiddle of my life.
(04:11):
So did I trust him back then?
No.
I believed in him.
I knew he was there.
I knew he loved me, but did Iturn to him first?
Probably not.
So yeah, I just didn't reallyknow who God was.
I just knew he was there.
Carol (04:30):
Yeah, I understand that.
God was far away from me too.
I did everything that I wassupposed to do but I didn't do
it because I loved God.
I just did it because I knewthat that's what I was supposed
to do.
Monica (04:45):
I was checking all the boxes.
Carol (04:47):
That's right.
Monica (04:48):
Boxes.
I went to church.
I went to holy days ofobligation.
Yeah.
I lived what I thought was agood Catholic life.
But God wasn't right next to me,standing next to me, walking
with me.
Like he is now, right?
Carol (05:05):
And was there a point in your life that that changed for
you?
And if so, what was the catalystfor that change?
What made you stop seeing God asfar away and seeing him as wait,
he's part of my life.
He's part of my everyday life.
Was there something thathappened?
Monica (05:25):
Well, back then, girls went to college so they could
find a husband.
I mean, really and truly, thatwas the mindset for a lot of
women that I knew.
And it was just expected thatyou were going to one day get
married and it wasn't going tobe like when you were in your
30s and you had traveled theworld or anything.
It was going to be soon.
(05:46):
And so that was kind of my planfor life.
I met my husband and fell inlove with him and it was just
assumed we were going to getmarried.
But you go into marriage and youget caught up in the wedding and
you get caught up in theplanning and the ceremony and
(06:06):
the, this and the, that, andthen you don't spend a lot of
time thinking about, oh, wemight hit some roadblocks down
the road.
I don't think we were preparedfor those roadblocks.
And so, after hitting a reallylow point, I remember turning to
God and that was the first timeI ever had.
(06:27):
And it's like, okay, what do Ido now?
Because I absolutely have noidea what to do.
That's when all of a sudden, Irealized He had been with me the
whole time-- guiding me, walkingwith me, but I had never stopped
to listen to him.
So that was the first littleinkling.
(06:47):
The second really big one wasafter I went to my axe retreat,
and then that changed everythingcompletely.
Carol (06:55):
I think sometimes when we get married, We kind of feel
like nobody's really told us howto do this.
Monica (07:04):
Marriage prep did not prepare you.
Carol (07:07):
Like, like you're all of a sudden know how to live with
somebody completely differentthan you are 24 seven.
And how are you supposed tonavigate that where like, okay,
now all these things bother methat he does or doesn't do, or
that I'm bothering him becauseI'm doing.
Monica (07:25):
And what we didn't know back then was.
If I could do anything overagain, this is probably what I
would have changed.
He was raised and what hisfamily life was like was a
little bit different, verydifferent from mine.
His experiences were totallydifferent from mine.
The way he solved problems wastotally different from mine.
(07:47):
The way he approached problemswas totally different from mine.
And you talked a little bitabout it in marriage prep, but
it was more about money.
Or it was more about raisingkids.
It wasn't about, what are yougoing to do when these big
roadblocks happen?
And so we didn't know how towork through that.
And we tried to solve them inour own different ways, and that
(08:07):
didn't work real well.
Honestly, I can say now, it'sbecause God wasn't the middle,
in the center of our marriage.
We both went to church, but wedidn't pray together.
We didn't talk about God.
We just went to church, checkthe box.
And so, things completelychanged when God becomes the
(08:29):
middle of everything, the centerof everything.
Then it affects your money.
It affects the decisions youmake, because now it's not about
you.
It's about Him and serving Him.
Carol (08:43):
And sometimes we think, okay, so I've got problems in my
marriage.
Let me have a child becausethat'll make everything better.
Monica (08:52):
Well, one of the challenges was that I couldn't.
And, that put a lot of stress onthe marriage and then of course,
when you have your baby, youdon't realize how much that's
going to change your life.
Right.
Unfortunately, for a good partof our, let's say, first 25
(09:12):
years of our marriage, myhusband worked nights, so I was
basically a single parent, andso he didn't always know and
understand some of thechallenges that I faced.
Because the time we did havetogether was so precious, I
wasn't going to burden him withall of that.
(09:32):
So I carried all that myself andsometimes I dealt with it very
well.
And sometimes I didn't.
But I don't remember at thattime.
Yeah.
And I was a full time teacherand I don't remember at that
time, turning to God, praying toGod.
I mean, it was just like all Iwas going to do.
I was just trying to survive,and then dealing with some
health issues along the way.
(09:53):
So yeah, it was a lot.
It was a lot.
And, communication is a bigproblem in a lot of marriages.
And the lack of communication orcommunication in different ways,
being afraid to say what youreally truly felt cause you
didn't want to rock the boatkind of thing.
Cause then everybody wouldthink, no, I didn't have this
(10:14):
perfect marriage.
Carol (10:16):
Right.
Well, that's a really goodquestion.
Did everybody look in and say,Oh, well, this is perfect.
Even while you're going throughall those challenges.
Monica (10:26):
They still do.
Well, because there's a lot ofshame and there's a lot of
embarrassment and you don't wantanybody to know, you Hey, we're
struggling.
We need help or anything likethat.
You don't want anybody to know.
So you don't ask for help.
You just try to do it on yourown.
And I like Dr.
(10:46):
Phil, he says, and how's thatworking for you?
Not real well, not real well.
Carol (10:53):
Well, and I think a lot of people listening to this
podcast can relate to that.
I mean, you go on social mediaand everybody's life looks so
perfect and they're doing allthese wonderful, great things.
And sometimes we say, well, howcome my life isn't always
perfect?
Just like that.
Monica (11:11):
It's true.
Well, what I've come to realizeis that everybody has something.
The people that you think havethis perfect life, this perfect
marriage, perfect kids, theydon't.
we all have wounds and we allhave parts of us that have been
hurt and broken.
We just don't tell anybody aboutit.
(11:32):
We don't want anybody to know.
Now I feel like I'm calledsometimes to share that because
God put somebody in my life thatneeded to hear what I've been
through because they're goingthrough the same thing.
I just didn't know, but the HolySpirit's like, you know what?
You need to talk to this person.
(11:53):
I was like, okay.
And then I find out, we've gotvery similar paths.
Carol (11:59):
And you mentioned the ACTS retreat.
What was it that compelled youto go on an ACTS retreat?
Monica (12:05):
It was really interesting.
I had a neighbor who had servedon ACTS teams and she, I guess
in her own way, she knew that Ineeded something.
So she had suggested two orthree times for me to go The
first two times it didn't workbecause of schedules and because
I'd gotten sick or one of mykids gotten sick.
(12:27):
The third time I actually signedup when we moved here.
And, it was the best thing thatever happened because I didn't
know anybody here.
And so all of a sudden now I hadthis community of people that
believed what I believed.
But the catalyst for that washer encouragement to go because
(12:48):
she knew I needed something.
what I realized on that retreatwas that I really didn't know my
catholic faith at all.
I mean, I came back with adifferent perspective and a
different outlook.
I guess I was different.
I don't know.
My kids were asking me all thesequestions like, Mom, what
(13:11):
happened to you?
And then, here I am readingbooks and I'm going to these
classes and, they're like askingme all these questions and I
didn't know the answer to them.
Because, that's just what my momtold me we were supposed to do.
And so the first thing I did wassign up for RCA.
Because what better way to learnthe faith, right?
(13:33):
So I signed up for RCA and I waslearning things that I had no
idea about.
And, I'm still learning It justopened a whole new world to me,
and I had never served God inany way, and now my whole life
is serving God.
(13:54):
Everything I do has God at thefront of it all.
Even my job, you know, I do witha heart that is centered on God.
They don't know it.
But I do
Carol (14:10):
So we talked about that you had to give everything up to
God.
And so was that just a one timething and how did you know how
to do that?
How did you know how to rely onGod instead of your own
understanding?
Monica (14:27):
I went through This training, how to discern the
will of God.
And it's like okay if somethingis causing you angst, causing
turning in your stomach andyou're just worried sick and
just don't know what to do andit's consuming every thought,
then that's probably notsomething God wants you to do.
(14:47):
But if you feel this peace andyou feel this joy and you're
like, okay, I don't know if thisis the right thing, but it feels
different.
Then that's probably God callingyou to do it.
And I just had to learn tosurrender those decisions to God
and trust that He will give me asign some way.
(15:10):
I was in a class one time andsomebody said, Oh, the Holy
Spirit just talks to me.
And I'm like, I've never heardthe Holy Spirit talk to me.
I want to hear the Holy Spirit,you know, and so I just, I, one
day I prayed and just said, youknow what, I know I'm probably
not going to hear your voice,but can you give me some kind of
a sign?
(15:30):
Just anything.
I don't care how it comes.
Just, I want to know that you'rethere and that you listen to me.
And then the next day I waspondering something and what
should I do and a song comes onthe radio and it wasn't even a
Christian song.
It was like a pop song or a rocksong and it had this line in it
(15:53):
that just kept getting said overand over and over again.
And I'm like, okay.
I get it.
That's from God.
God will speak to you in so manydifferent ways.
Sometimes I feel like I'mreading a book and then the
words are just like popping upoff the page.
That's trust in the Lord.
It was like, oh my gosh, thewords were just popping off of
the page.
(16:14):
It's like, okay, God, you'rereally there.
I spent so much of my life noteven knowing, so if I have a
regret, that's it.
You know, but now I know, soeverything's cool.
Yeah, is my life perfect?
No.
Do I still have to surrenderthings to God?
Absolutely.
(16:35):
But now I turned to him first,instead of turning to him after
I've tried to figure it all outmyself.
Works a little bit better thatway.
Carol (16:46):
So that was going to be my question for you is, okay, so
now you've had this really aconversion where God was Far
away from your life and now Godhas become the center of your
life.
That's a huge conversion foranybody to go through.
So that was my question yourlife is perfect, right?
Monica (17:06):
Oh no, far from it.
We still have challenges.
Life is challenging, right?
Retirement is challenging.
also with the health challengesthat we've had to deal with and
just all kinds of things.
Everything is not perfect.
You know what I've come torealize is that nobody's life is
perfect.
And I say to myself, how doesanyone get through all of this
(17:31):
if you don't have God?
If you don't have a relationshipwith him, if you don't believe
him, how can you deal with anyof this because I couldn't.
Yeah, I used to be the kind ofperson who worried about
everything.
I really did.
I worried about my kids Iworried about money I worried
(17:51):
about everything.
I mean I made myself sick withworry.
And it's like, why spend one dayworrying about something that
God already has figured out?
God gave me another littlemantra too.
He says, don't let anythingsteal your joy.
I'm like, I gave you this joy.
(18:12):
Don't let anything steal yourjoy.
And I'm like, okay, I won't.
Carol (18:17):
So that joy and peace, that peace when you're making
decisions, it's also when you'reliving your daily life when you
turn everything over to God.
Monica (18:26):
You know, you get overwhelmed.
I mean, even just thinking theholidays are coming up.
It's like, Oh my gosh, yeah.
those aren't the importantthings.
gifts are not the importantthings.
Showing my family that we loveand serve and trust God.
That's more important than anygift I can give them.
Right?
Carol (18:44):
That's right.
Well, thank you for sharing,Monica.
Sometimes we can lean on our ownunderstanding and believe that
God is good to others, but notto me because I'm not worthy.
We think that for whateverreason, that whatever happened
to us, whatever we did or didn'tdo, or anything that makes us
feel unlovable, we feel thatGod's love is for other people.
(19:08):
By you sharing your story,Monica, I hope our listeners
will become more confident inGod's love for themselves.
To be bold and to believe thatGod is good.
Thank you again, Monica.
We appreciate having you.
Monica (19:22):
You're welcome.
Thank you.
Carol (19:25):
And thank you to all of our listeners for following,
liking, and sharing thispodcast.
The spiritual retreat mentionedin this podcast is the ACTS
Retreat from ACTS Missions inSan Antonio, Texas.
The website is, if you'd like tolearn more, actsmissions.
org.
We'll share some moreinformation about it in our
comments as well and on ourwebsite.
(19:47):
Until next time, friends,remember, God is good.
Monica (19:51):
All the time.
Carol (19:52):
Amen.
Monica (19:53):
Amen.
Hello, friends in Christ.
Welcome to this episode of theGod is Good podcast.
Do not forget my teaching.
Take to heart my commands.
Trust in the Lord with all yourheart.
On your own intelligence, do notrely.
In all your ways, be mindful ofhim, and he will make straight
your paths.
(00:35):
Proverbs chapter three, versesone through six.
I'm Carol O'Brien, and I'm yourhost for this episode of the God
is Good podcast.
You're in for a very specialtreat.
Many of you already know her,but if you don't, you're about
to meet one of the most specialpeople in my life.
And soon I hope yours.
(00:56):
She's an inspiration,powerhouse, and a mighty warrior
for God.
All that in an almost five foottall package.
Now, I know that sounds a littleintimidating, and I've told her
many times when I first met her,I was in awe of her.
I saw a woman who was certain ofChrist's love for her, acutely
(01:18):
aware that she was a belovedchild of God, and confident that
she was walking with the HolySpirit.
I immediately thought, I don'tthink I could ever be that
confident of God's love for me.
I'm just not that worthy.
But soon, she shared her story,a story of challenge and
persistence, acceptance andlove.
(01:40):
And that story is theinspiration for this whole
podcast.
Not just today's episode, butthe whole thing.
And you'll soon see why.
First, let me tell you a littlebit about Monica.
She's the very definition ofservant leader.
She's been married to awonderful man for 45 years and
(02:00):
professes that God continues tobe a crucial part of her
marriage.
She has two beautiful childrenwho have their own inspiring
faith journeys.
Monica was a first grade teacherfor many of her 31 years of
teaching and as such hasbeautiful handwriting by the
way.
And now she's a coach for manywomen and men motivating them on
(02:22):
their weight loss journeys.
Her community is her church.
Her large extended family and acountless number of friends.
She's constantly crisscrossingthe state and the country
leading acts, retreats andhelping local churches build up
their acts evangelizationministries.
(02:43):
So without further ado, let'shear from Monica.
Hi, lovely.
Welcome to the podcast.
Monica (02:50):
Hi, how's everybody doing?
Carol (02:53):
Even though I've been to your house multiple times, I
really had to ask you what yourfavorite scripture is.
And of course it's the one weopened with.
Trust in the Lord with all yourheart.
Now, why is that your favoritescripture?
Monica (03:06):
When I look back, at different times in my life, it
was almost like God was askingme to do things that I didn't
think I could do.
And he was kind of asking me,Monica, do you trust me?
Do you trust me a little bit?
Or do you trust me a lot?
Do you trust me with everything?
(03:26):
And it was like, okay, so trustin the Lord with all your heart
has just been my Favoritescripture ever since.
Carol (03:34):
And in the intro, I mentioned that you do have
confidence in God's love and youdo trust in God with all your
heart.
Anyone who knows you can seethat and feel that in you.
Has it always been that way foryou?
Monica (03:50):
Not really.
I grew up Catholic.
I jokingly say, and it's true, Ican count how many times I've
missed church on ten fingers.
And usually it was because I wasin the hospital.
Church was just a part of mylife.
And, but God was way out there.
He wasn't like right in themiddle of my life.
(04:11):
So did I trust him back then?
No.
I believed in him.
I knew he was there.
I knew he loved me, but did Iturn to him first?
Probably not.
So yeah, I just didn't reallyknow who God was.
I just knew he was there.
Carol (04:30):
Yeah, I understand that.
God was far away from me too.
I did everything that I wassupposed to do but I didn't do
it because I loved God.
I just did it because I knewthat that's what I was supposed
to do.
Monica (04:45):
I was checking all the boxes.
Carol (04:47):
That's right.
Monica (04:48):
Boxes.
I went to church.
I went to holy days ofobligation.
Yeah.
I lived what I thought was agood Catholic life.
But God wasn't right next to me,standing next to me, walking
with me.
Like he is now, right?
Carol (05:05):
And was there a point in your life that that changed for
you?
And if so, what was the catalystfor that change?
What made you stop seeing God asfar away and seeing him as wait,
he's part of my life.
He's part of my everyday life.
Was there something thathappened?
Monica (05:25):
Well, back then, girls went to college so they could
find a husband.
I mean, really and truly, thatwas the mindset for a lot of
women that I knew.
And it was just expected thatyou were going to one day get
married and it wasn't going tobe like when you were in your
30s and you had traveled theworld or anything.
It was going to be soon.
(05:46):
And so that was kind of my planfor life.
I met my husband and fell inlove with him and it was just
assumed we were going to getmarried.
But you go into marriage and youget caught up in the wedding and
you get caught up in theplanning and the ceremony and
(06:06):
the, this and the, that, andthen you don't spend a lot of
time thinking about, oh, wemight hit some roadblocks down
the road.
I don't think we were preparedfor those roadblocks.
And so, after hitting a reallylow point, I remember turning to
God and that was the first timeI ever had.
(06:27):
And it's like, okay, what do Ido now?
Because I absolutely have noidea what to do.
That's when all of a sudden, Irealized He had been with me the
whole time-- guiding me, walkingwith me, but I had never stopped
to listen to him.
So that was the first littleinkling.
(06:47):
The second really big one wasafter I went to my axe retreat,
and then that changed everythingcompletely.
Carol (06:55):
I think sometimes when we get married, We kind of feel
like nobody's really told us howto do this.
Monica (07:04):
Marriage prep did not prepare you.
Carol (07:07):
Like, like you're all of a sudden know how to live with
somebody completely differentthan you are 24 seven.
And how are you supposed tonavigate that where like, okay,
now all these things bother methat he does or doesn't do, or
that I'm bothering him becauseI'm doing.
Monica (07:25):
And what we didn't know back then was.
If I could do anything overagain, this is probably what I
would have changed.
He was raised and what hisfamily life was like was a
little bit different, verydifferent from mine.
His experiences were totallydifferent from mine.
The way he solved problems wastotally different from mine.
(07:47):
The way he approached problemswas totally different from mine.
And you talked a little bitabout it in marriage prep, but
it was more about money.
Or it was more about raisingkids.
It wasn't about, what are yougoing to do when these big
roadblocks happen?
And so we didn't know how towork through that.
And we tried to solve them inour own different ways, and that
(08:07):
didn't work real well.
Honestly, I can say now, it'sbecause God wasn't the middle,
in the center of our marriage.
We both went to church, but wedidn't pray together.
We didn't talk about God.
We just went to church, checkthe box.
And so, things completelychanged when God becomes the
(08:29):
middle of everything, the centerof everything.
Then it affects your money.
It affects the decisions youmake, because now it's not about
you.
It's about Him and serving Him.
Carol (08:43):
And sometimes we think, okay, so I've got problems in my
marriage.
Let me have a child becausethat'll make everything better.
Monica (08:52):
Well, one of the challenges was that I couldn't.
And, that put a lot of stress onthe marriage and then of course,
when you have your baby, youdon't realize how much that's
going to change your life.
Right.
Unfortunately, for a good partof our, let's say, first 25
(09:12):
years of our marriage, myhusband worked nights, so I was
basically a single parent, andso he didn't always know and
understand some of thechallenges that I faced.
Because the time we did havetogether was so precious, I
wasn't going to burden him withall of that.
(09:32):
So I carried all that myself andsometimes I dealt with it very
well.
And sometimes I didn't.
But I don't remember at thattime.
Yeah.
And I was a full time teacherand I don't remember at that
time, turning to God, praying toGod.
I mean, it was just like all Iwas going to do.
I was just trying to survive,and then dealing with some
health issues along the way.
(09:53):
So yeah, it was a lot.
It was a lot.
And, communication is a bigproblem in a lot of marriages.
And the lack of communication orcommunication in different ways,
being afraid to say what youreally truly felt cause you
didn't want to rock the boatkind of thing.
Cause then everybody wouldthink, no, I didn't have this
(10:14):
perfect marriage.
Carol (10:16):
Right.
Well, that's a really goodquestion.
Did everybody look in and say,Oh, well, this is perfect.
Even while you're going throughall those challenges.
Monica (10:26):
They still do.
Well, because there's a lot ofshame and there's a lot of
embarrassment and you don't wantanybody to know, you Hey, we're
struggling.
We need help or anything likethat.
You don't want anybody to know.
So you don't ask for help.
You just try to do it on yourown.
And I like Dr.
(10:46):
Phil, he says, and how's thatworking for you?
Not real well, not real well.
Carol (10:53):
Well, and I think a lot of people listening to this
podcast can relate to that.
I mean, you go on social mediaand everybody's life looks so
perfect and they're doing allthese wonderful, great things.
And sometimes we say, well, howcome my life isn't always
perfect?
Just like that.
Monica (11:11):
It's true.
Well, what I've come to realizeis that everybody has something.
The people that you think havethis perfect life, this perfect
marriage, perfect kids, theydon't.
we all have wounds and we allhave parts of us that have been
hurt and broken.
We just don't tell anybody aboutit.
(11:32):
We don't want anybody to know.
Now I feel like I'm calledsometimes to share that because
God put somebody in my life thatneeded to hear what I've been
through because they're goingthrough the same thing.
I just didn't know, but the HolySpirit's like, you know what?
You need to talk to this person.
(11:53):
I was like, okay.
And then I find out, we've gotvery similar paths.
Carol (11:59):
And you mentioned the ACTS retreat.
What was it that compelled youto go on an ACTS retreat?
Monica (12:05):
It was really interesting.
I had a neighbor who had servedon ACTS teams and she, I guess
in her own way, she knew that Ineeded something.
So she had suggested two orthree times for me to go The
first two times it didn't workbecause of schedules and because
I'd gotten sick or one of mykids gotten sick.
(12:27):
The third time I actually signedup when we moved here.
And, it was the best thing thatever happened because I didn't
know anybody here.
And so all of a sudden now I hadthis community of people that
believed what I believed.
But the catalyst for that washer encouragement to go because
(12:48):
she knew I needed something.
what I realized on that retreatwas that I really didn't know my
catholic faith at all.
I mean, I came back with adifferent perspective and a
different outlook.
I guess I was different.
I don't know.
My kids were asking me all thesequestions like, Mom, what
(13:11):
happened to you?
And then, here I am readingbooks and I'm going to these
classes and, they're like askingme all these questions and I
didn't know the answer to them.
Because, that's just what my momtold me we were supposed to do.
And so the first thing I did wassign up for RCA.
Because what better way to learnthe faith, right?
(13:33):
So I signed up for RCA and I waslearning things that I had no
idea about.
And, I'm still learning It justopened a whole new world to me,
and I had never served God inany way, and now my whole life
is serving God.
(13:54):
Everything I do has God at thefront of it all.
Even my job, you know, I do witha heart that is centered on God.
They don't know it.
But I do
Carol (14:10):
So we talked about that you had to give everything up to
God.
And so was that just a one timething and how did you know how
to do that?
How did you know how to rely onGod instead of your own
understanding?
Monica (14:27):
I went through This training, how to discern the
will of God.
And it's like okay if somethingis causing you angst, causing
turning in your stomach andyou're just worried sick and
just don't know what to do andit's consuming every thought,
then that's probably notsomething God wants you to do.
(14:47):
But if you feel this peace andyou feel this joy and you're
like, okay, I don't know if thisis the right thing, but it feels
different.
Then that's probably God callingyou to do it.
And I just had to learn tosurrender those decisions to God
and trust that He will give me asign some way.
(15:10):
I was in a class one time andsomebody said, Oh, the Holy
Spirit just talks to me.
And I'm like, I've never heardthe Holy Spirit talk to me.
I want to hear the Holy Spirit,you know, and so I just, I, one
day I prayed and just said, youknow what, I know I'm probably
not going to hear your voice,but can you give me some kind of
a sign?
(15:30):
Just anything.
I don't care how it comes.
Just, I want to know that you'rethere and that you listen to me.
And then the next day I waspondering something and what
should I do and a song comes onthe radio and it wasn't even a
Christian song.
It was like a pop song or a rocksong and it had this line in it
(15:53):
that just kept getting said overand over and over again.
And I'm like, okay.
I get it.
That's from God.
God will speak to you in so manydifferent ways.
Sometimes I feel like I'mreading a book and then the
words are just like popping upoff the page.
That's trust in the Lord.
It was like, oh my gosh, thewords were just popping off of
the page.
(16:14):
It's like, okay, God, you'rereally there.
I spent so much of my life noteven knowing, so if I have a
regret, that's it.
You know, but now I know, soeverything's cool.
Yeah, is my life perfect?
No.
Do I still have to surrenderthings to God?
Absolutely.
(16:35):
But now I turned to him first,instead of turning to him after
I've tried to figure it all outmyself.
Works a little bit better thatway.
Carol (16:46):
So that was going to be my question for you is, okay, so
now you've had this really aconversion where God was Far
away from your life and now Godhas become the center of your
life.
That's a huge conversion foranybody to go through.
So that was my question yourlife is perfect, right?
Monica (17:06):
Oh no, far from it.
We still have challenges.
Life is challenging, right?
Retirement is challenging.
also with the health challengesthat we've had to deal with and
just all kinds of things.
Everything is not perfect.
You know what I've come torealize is that nobody's life is
perfect.
And I say to myself, how doesanyone get through all of this
(17:31):
if you don't have God?
If you don't have a relationshipwith him, if you don't believe
him, how can you deal with anyof this because I couldn't.
Yeah, I used to be the kind ofperson who worried about
everything.
I really did.
I worried about my kids Iworried about money I worried
(17:51):
about everything.
I mean I made myself sick withworry.
And it's like, why spend one dayworrying about something that
God already has figured out?
God gave me another littlemantra too.
He says, don't let anythingsteal your joy.
I'm like, I gave you this joy.
(18:12):
Don't let anything steal yourjoy.
And I'm like, okay, I won't.
Carol (18:17):
So that joy and peace, that peace when you're making
decisions, it's also when you'reliving your daily life when you
turn everything over to God.
Monica (18:26):
You know, you get overwhelmed.
I mean, even just thinking theholidays are coming up.
It's like, Oh my gosh, yeah.
those aren't the importantthings.
gifts are not the importantthings.
Showing my family that we loveand serve and trust God.
That's more important than anygift I can give them.
Right?
Carol (18:44):
That's right.
Well, thank you for sharing,Monica.
Sometimes we can lean on our ownunderstanding and believe that
God is good to others, but notto me because I'm not worthy.
We think that for whateverreason, that whatever happened
to us, whatever we did or didn'tdo, or anything that makes us
feel unlovable, we feel thatGod's love is for other people.
(19:08):
By you sharing your story,Monica, I hope our listeners
will become more confident inGod's love for themselves.
To be bold and to believe thatGod is good.
Thank you again, Monica.
We appreciate having you.
Monica (19:22):
You're welcome.
Thank you.
Carol (19:25):
And thank you to all of our listeners for following,
liking, and sharing thispodcast.
The spiritual retreat mentionedin this podcast is the ACTS
Retreat from ACTS Missions inSan Antonio, Texas.
The website is, if you'd like tolearn more, actsmissions.
org.
We'll share some moreinformation about it in our
comments as well and on ourwebsite.
(19:47):
Until next time, friends,remember, God is good.
Monica (19:51):
All the time.
Carol (19:52):
Amen.
Monica (19:53):
Amen.
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