March 1, 2025 • 19 mins
Feeling like a burden in her home, LeighAnn found herself constantly striving to fill a void she couldn't quite understand. From a young age, she believed that her worth was tied to her achievements. She excelled in academics, sports, and later, in her career, always pushing herself to be the best. Despite stacking up a number of accomplishments, LeighAnn’s foundation without God was shaky.
An unexpected blessing caused her life to take a dramatic turn. Then, a family crisis and the loss of a loved one caused LeighAnn to see that all her striving was not helping her achieve what she wanted the most. There was a moment when everything stopped and she realized she was already worthy in God's eyes.
Grab a cup of coffee, sit back, and listen to how LeighAnn’s relationship with God transformed and how she began striving for Jesus.
Our goal with this episode is to move at least one heart toward God -- is it yours? Let us know! And if you'd like to get involved by becoming a storyteller or donating to the movement, please visit:
Web: godisgoodpodcast.com
Social: www.facebook.com/groups/godisgoodpodcast/
Some of our episodes mention the ACTS Retreat, which is an evangelization retreat from ACTS Missions in San Antonio, TX: www.actsmissions.org.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Carol (00:13):
Welcome to the God is Good podcast, where we share
stories of those who havereignited their faith in Jesus
and experienced remarkable lifetransformations.
My name is Carol O'Brien, andI'm your host for this podcast.
If our episodes touch your heartand you would like to get
involved and help us on ourmission of moving hearts toward
(00:33):
Jesus, please listen to the endof this episode to learn how.
And we know that in all things,God works for the good of those
who love him, who were calledaccording to his purpose."
Romans 8 verse 28.
Welcome to this episode of theGod is Good podcast.
(00:53):
I'm happy to introduce you to anew friend in Christ.
LeighAnn has a beautiful heartdedicated to caring for and
healing others.
As a preview to what you willhear today, LeighAnn's story is
a journey that began inchildhood and continued through
a life dedicated to overcomingthe pains of the past.
A desperate focus on strivingand achieving so she could prove
(01:16):
her worth came at the expense ofa relationship with Jesus.
Family crises and the death of aloved one brought her to a point
from which only God could saveher.
But before we get into thedepths of her story, let me tell
you a little bit about LeighAnn.
Following a powerful experiencewith the birth of her son, she
(01:37):
was called to the profession ofnursing.
After years in her career, shetook the courageous move of
combining her faith with hernurse's heart to build a
coaching business calledCrosswinds Collaborative.
Through this inspired effort,LeighAnn now serves women going
through significant transitions,feelings of low self worth, and
(01:58):
feelings of being overwhelmed.
And that journey has led her tous today.
Please join me in welcomingLeighAnn to the podcast.
Hello, LeighAnn!
LeighAnn (02:08):
Hi, Carol.
It's so great to be here.
Thank you so much.
Carol (02:12):
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
In the opening, I gave a quickintroduction to your story,
starting with a difficultchildhood.
Is that something you can sharemore about?
LeighAnn (02:21):
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
I did grow up in a broken homelike a lot of people.
My mom was a single mom.
She worked tirelessly threejobs.
She also suffered from chronicfatigue syndrome and depression.
We didn't have a lot and therewas a lot of turmoil and
dysfunction that went along inour house.
It made the home feel unsafe andreally lonely for me.
(02:44):
I was the youngest of four.
I lived with a sense that I wasa burden to my mom and my family
for so many years because I wasthe youngest and because we were
barely making it.
I felt like if I wasn't there,would their lives be better?
Would it be easier for them?
So that was a hard thing tocarry as a child.
Carol (03:05):
Wow, that's hard.
I'm both surprised anddisheartened that that was your
awareness as a child.
Speaking of your childhood, whatwas your faith foundation?
LeighAnn (03:17):
I was a believer.
I was more or less what I call astick figure, one dimensional
believer because I knew therewas a God, but my faith didn't
go past that.
I didn't know that there wasanything more than that.
I had no idea of the power andaccess that I had to the
spiritual blessings ofrelationship with Jesus.
(03:39):
We attended church from time totime with my grandma but I never
really felt a solid foundationnor that I belonged there.
Carol (03:47):
I've never heard that phrase before.
A stick figure, one dimensionalbeliever.
It's so fitting though, isn'tit?
When there's no relationship,it's all one sided, one
dimensional.
You said you thought you were aburden.
In your young mind and heart,how did that affect the way you
felt about yourself?
LeighAnn (04:05):
I think you touch on a really good point because all of
my striving and all of myaccomplishments were really
rooted in proving myself andproving my worth.
If I can just show them I can dothat, then I'll earn the love
that I was so desperatelyseeking.
Again, I didn't realize thatthere was relationship in Jesus
and God.
I just thought He existed and wejust needed to believe in Him.
(04:27):
But what I was searching for wasthat value and worth that He had
already placed in me, which allI had to do was go to Him to
discover it.
But I wasn't walking with theLord.
My older sister, Allison, wasalways a faithful believer and
she was influential in plantingso many seeds through the years,
even though I wasn't reallylistening.
(04:48):
I know that she was alwaysplanting those seeds.
So in spite of my earlystruggles and the home life
being difficult, I was juststriving and pressing on.
If I just do this one morething, then I will earn that
love and affection and attentionand I won't be abandoned or
rejected or all of those things.
Carol (05:08):
I think we do this as adults sometimes too.
"If I can just do or have thisone thing, then I'll finally be
happy." Too often we get thatthing or that accomplishment and
realize it was never what weneeded in the first place.
So you were working hard.
What happened?
LeighAnn (05:26):
I just thrived...
on the surface anyway.
I was a class president.
I was taking college courses inhigh school.
I had friends.
I was in sports.
At 18, I thought I had the worldon a platter.
I was graduating high school andjust getting out of Dodge
getting out of the small town.
I was going to live my life.
(05:47):
I was enlisted in the army andenrolled at UConn, which is the
State University in ConnecticutI was going to Military
training.
I was at MEPS, Military EntryProcessing System, in
Springfield, Massachusetts.
I found out on the day that Iwas supposed to be going to
training, I was expecting myfirst child.
Everything got turned upsidedown.
(06:10):
All my plans changed suddenly.
Instead of attending militarytraining in college, I was binge
watching a baby story on TLC.
I just needed to know everythingthere was about pregnancy and
labor and delivery.
This was going to be what washappening to me and I just
needed to educate myself.
So I used the baby story on TLCto do that, which is cute now
(06:31):
that I think of it.
I I was kicked out of my housefor being a teen mom, unwedded
teen mom, kicked out.
I ended up having to find aplace to live.
I stayed with my grandma for atime, worked three jobs,
hustled, hustled, hustled.
Carol (06:44):
So you just did what you knew to do, right?
It's the way you had been copingwith challenges your whole life.
You hustled.
And I imagine your life wasgoing to change even further.
LeighAnn (06:55):
Yeah, My son came, and his dad and I got married.
We literally put our heads downand the rest is like a blur.
We just hustled.
We worked.
We strived.
My husband also had a verydifficult childhood.
So we were both running awayfrom our childhoods.
We did everything that we couldpossibly do to keep our kids
(07:16):
from having the same experiencewe did.
It was so hard starting outwithout anything, with very
little support.
Everyone around us is young andliving the freedom lifestyle and
you're just doing what you haveto do to keep up and survive.
Carol (07:30):
Given that you and your husband had a similar childhood
experience, did that help increating a foundation for your
marriage?
LeighAnn (07:37):
No.
My husband and I had achallenging marriage.
We started off pretty awkwardly.
We had a lot of critical,judgmental episodes.
It just wasn't that pictureperfect honeymoon start.
And so that kind of played intothe years.
The only thing that really keptus connected was that desire to
(07:58):
give our kids that roof overtheir heads, that family life
that we didn't have.
And so that was really ourfocus.
And that kept us going for theyears that we weren't chasing
the Lord.
Carol (08:10):
I'm curious how you got from that experience where you
guys were struggling so much tonow where you've been together
for a long time.
LeighAnn (08:18):
Oh, yeah So that's the thing, right?
So we hustled and were marriedfor nearly 20 years.
Lots of ups and downs, both ofus trying to stay focused on the
family goals and what we wantedfor our family.
It was the winter of 2021.
My mom was hospitalized withCOVID 19 and my marriage was
(08:40):
officially in crisis.
Everything was falling apart.
Everything I'd worked so hard toprevent by being a good wife and
a good mother and a good nurseand all of the things like it
didn't add up.
I couldn't believe it.
This is everything I was runningfrom my whole life.
During that time, my husband wassleeping on the couch at his
(09:01):
mother's apartment and my momwas dying in the hospital while
I was unable to visit her.
And I had never felt so aloneand honestly, so destroyed.
I lost nearly 20 pounds duringthat like three weeks of time.
It was so much pain and griefand disbelief and shock, and
trauma.
(09:21):
My mom died in January of 2022.
I had only been able to see hertwice while she was in the
hospital because she had COVID.
That is when everything stopped.
I was hardened to everything.
My spouse wanted reconciliationand tried to support me when my
mom died tragically, but I waslike hardened to him.
(09:44):
I was just in survival mode.
For anyone who has experiencedbetrayal or brokenness in your
marriage, nothing can compare tothat pain and on top of grieving
the loss of someone so close toyou.
That's when I couldn't do itanymore.
I think I needed to haveeverything stripped away.
(10:05):
Where I just, I couldn't withoutGod.
Carol (10:08):
That moment you realized that all that running, that
striving was bringing youfurther from the one who had the
answers all along?
LeighAnn (10:16):
And honestly, Carol, it took almost 20 years before I
made that connection.
That all of this driving wasn'tgetting me where I needed to be
I didn't believe it until I sawhow God had been chasing me and
showing himself to me in so manyways in the last 20 years.
And, and I just was,"No, no, no,I got it." I just was either
ignoring it.
(10:37):
I didn't, I wouldn't see it.
It was right in front of me inall the ways right back from
when I was 19 having a baby andan inspiring nurse gave me
direction of my life.
My son just saved my life in somany ways.
Around the time that I wasenlisted in the military, it was
during 9/11, and 90 percent ofmy unit was deployed, but I was,
(10:58):
able to stay home and mother himand be with him instead of being
deployed with all the othermothers.
I was saved from going toAfghanistan.
So he saved me in so many ways.
And that's how God works by justworking all things together for
the good of those who love him.
Even if it doesn't make sense inthe time.
All of these things like God wasthere the whole time.
Carol (11:20):
So you had this painful but beautiful moment when you
realized that God had beenworking your whole life for your
good, even though you couldn'tsee it.
So is this where a new pathbegan for you?
And if so, how did it happen?
LeighAnn (11:33):
So I told my husband, and I didn't think he would do
it, to call Allie my faithfulsister, who had always been
planting seeds through the yearsAnd he did.
He got off the phone with me andcalled my sister.
She prompted him to seek God,and he did that.
He not only sought God, hepowerfully leaned in, and he
(11:55):
hasn't been the same since.
He used to be critical ofreligion and never had any
interest in church.
Now he was bringing me to churchand reading me daily
devotionals.
He would read to me the BibleOver time, I was able to slowly
heal and open up.
I could see how the Lordtransformed my husband right
(12:16):
before my eyes.
The Lord works miracles, and Iwas just softening to that
reality.
Softening to that there's moreto God than just, the stick
figure belief that I had.
So I jumped in with my husband.
It's kind of bittersweet in thatit took us so much time to get
there, but the Lord doesn'twaste anything.
(12:38):
And it's so beautiful when thetwo of you can do it together.
We are so blessed beyond measurethat we both are deeply in love
with the Lord and who he is andhis character and our lives are
led by him.
Carol (12:52):
So it sounds like you've transformed from a stick figure
believer into a full fledged Godis the center of your life kind
of figure.
It's very rich and it's verybeautiful.
How do you maintain that?
What do you do to nourish andnurture that faith?
LeighAnn (13:08):
We are all in type of people.
It's kind of funny and we laughabout it.
But if we say we're going to dosomething, we do it.
We go all in.
So we signed up for every singleclass we could get our hands on.
We never miss a church service.
We go to every single thing thatthe church puts on.
We're volunteering.
We're raking leaves.
We're planting seeds.
(13:29):
We're making chili.
We're on the worship team.
We're doing anything we coulddo.
You know, we have that heart andit's all a hunger.
Carol (13:38):
I so love that it's not your spirit that has changed.
It's just the direction.
You're still striving, butyou're striving toward the Lord
and you're doing it together.
LeighAnn (13:49):
But we did have a fear of what if we fall back?
What if we backslide?
We don't want to lose this.
It's just over three years.
We are at the same place.
Our fire is still burning so hotfor the Lord.
Carol (14:01):
So how do you maintain that fire?
LeighAnn (14:04):
We stay on fire by pursuing him through letting him
continue to sanctify us.
And for me, that looks like alot of inner healing that I have
to do to release limitingbeliefs and release the old ways
that I used to behave.
I used to let myself beobjectified by people, run over,
(14:24):
used up, taken advantage of, andI wouldn't say boo about it.
I would just let it happenbecause either I didn't feel
good enough or I thought itdidn't matter.
But now I demand a certainexcellence for myself because of
who dwells in me, right?
So I'm not letting those thingshappen to me anymore because I
(14:45):
know the glorious, righteousKing who dwells in me, I am a
temple for Him.
Carol (14:50):
I love that.
And I love that you have takenall of your experiences and all
of that love that you'vereceived, and now you're pouring
it into your business, and thenhelping other women achieve that
same joy and fulfillment.
LeighAnn (15:03):
Yeah.
My husband and I both have amission and a purpose in our
life to really bring as manypeople to Jesus as possible.
In fact, I did start my coachingpractice for people like my mom.
I think my mom worked so hard togive us love in spite of her
likely experiencing so muchburnout herself.
(15:23):
I always admired her compassionand loving heart knowing that
she was coming from a place oflack she tried her hardest.
I think about how my mom's life,my sibling's life, and my own
life could have been differentif my mom had gotten coaching or
just had support that sheneeded.
I've been a women's health nursefor nearly 20 years and in that
(15:45):
space I have been blessed towalk with women as they
experience the joys of newbeginnings and of course sharing
in the pain of crushing loss.
So I learned a lot about womenand what they need to live in
their self worth and live intheir confidence, their God
confidence.
Our lives just becomeunsustainable with the
expectations we put onourselves.
(16:07):
I really wanted to use mynursing expertise and my
coaching training, my love ofthe Lord, just to create
something that can help walkwith women as they learn to grow
in their awareness of their Godworth, their God given purpose.
And my coaching is faith fueled.
We work on shifting mindsets andshowing up authentically,
(16:27):
learning self compassion in asafe, supportive space.
That's what I'm passionateabout.
Carol (16:32):
So before we close, do you have any advice for our
listeners?
LeighAnn (16:36):
I think my takeaway would be if you want to be in
relationship with the Lord, takesome time and ask the Lord, what
is getting in the way of mereceiving what you have for me?"
What's blocking you from beingable to really receive his love?
And see what comes up for you.
Be gentle with yourself becauseGod is so gentle.
(16:57):
He's not gonna lambast you witha lot of things all at once.
Sometimes it's just one thing.
And, relationship with Jesus isamazing and it's available to
all of us who believe in him.
Carol (17:10):
That's so great.
I was thinking about one of thethings that we had talked about
earlier with those blockades,and I think we unintentionally
do it to ourselves.
We have these God-sized holes inus and we're filling it with
everything but God.
And so if we just stop trying tofill it, God will take up that
space and create some beautywithin us.
Your favorite scripture is theone that we opened with.
(17:32):
Romans 8, 28, which expressesthat even in difficult
situations, God is activelyworking for our benefit and our
spiritual growth.
"We know that in all things, Godworks for the good of those who
love him, who were calledaccording to his purpose."
LeighAnn, your life, yourjourney, and your mission show
(17:54):
that you live the scripture outin your everyday life.
So the name of your coachingbusiness again is Crosswinds
Collaborative.
How can our listeners find you?
LeighAnn (18:04):
I have a website.
It's www.crosswindscollab.com.
So that's, C-O-L-L-A B.com.
It's short for collaborative.
I'm also on Instagram and onFacebook.
You can find me at crosswindscollab.
Carol (18:21):
Thank you for sharing your story, LeighAnn.
I know that I have been moved byyour story, and I'm sure it will
move at least one heart towardJesus.
LeighAnn (18:29):
Thank you, Carol.
It was great to be here.
And I really appreciate thisspace to share some of my story.
I do hope that it helps move oneheart closer to Jesus.
Carol (18:39):
I'm sure it will.
We welcome everyone who wouldlike to become involved in this
movement.
There are really great ways foryou to get involved.
One is by becoming a storytellerand sharing your story.
And second, we humbly ask you toconsider donating to the
podcast.
Thank you to those who havealready taken the step to
donate.
The funds will help us producethe podcast and even allow us to
(19:02):
offer some spiritual retreatscholarships.
You can sign up as a storytelleror donate at
GodIsGoodPodcast.com/joinus.
All of your support, whetherit's a donation, a like, a
follow, or even sharing thepodcast with a friend is so
appreciated.
It really helps us move as manyhearts as possible toward Jesus.
(19:26):
Until next time, friends,remember, God is good.
LeighAnn (19:30):
God is good.
Thank you, Carol.
Welcome to the God is Good podcast, where we share
stories of those who havereignited their faith in Jesus
and experienced remarkable lifetransformations.
My name is Carol O'Brien, andI'm your host for this podcast.
If our episodes touch your heartand you would like to get
involved and help us on ourmission of moving hearts toward
(00:33):
Jesus, please listen to the endof this episode to learn how.
And we know that in all things,God works for the good of those
who love him, who were calledaccording to his purpose."
Romans 8 verse 28.
Welcome to this episode of theGod is Good podcast.
(00:53):
I'm happy to introduce you to anew friend in Christ.
LeighAnn has a beautiful heartdedicated to caring for and
healing others.
As a preview to what you willhear today, LeighAnn's story is
a journey that began inchildhood and continued through
a life dedicated to overcomingthe pains of the past.
A desperate focus on strivingand achieving so she could prove
(01:16):
her worth came at the expense ofa relationship with Jesus.
Family crises and the death of aloved one brought her to a point
from which only God could saveher.
But before we get into thedepths of her story, let me tell
you a little bit about LeighAnn.
Following a powerful experiencewith the birth of her son, she
(01:37):
was called to the profession ofnursing.
After years in her career, shetook the courageous move of
combining her faith with hernurse's heart to build a
coaching business calledCrosswinds Collaborative.
Through this inspired effort,LeighAnn now serves women going
through significant transitions,feelings of low self worth, and
(01:58):
feelings of being overwhelmed.
And that journey has led her tous today.
Please join me in welcomingLeighAnn to the podcast.
Hello, LeighAnn!
LeighAnn (02:08):
Hi, Carol.
It's so great to be here.
Thank you so much.
Carol (02:12):
Oh, I'm so glad you're here.
In the opening, I gave a quickintroduction to your story,
starting with a difficultchildhood.
Is that something you can sharemore about?
LeighAnn (02:21):
Yeah, I'd be happy to.
I did grow up in a broken homelike a lot of people.
My mom was a single mom.
She worked tirelessly threejobs.
She also suffered from chronicfatigue syndrome and depression.
We didn't have a lot and therewas a lot of turmoil and
dysfunction that went along inour house.
It made the home feel unsafe andreally lonely for me.
(02:44):
I was the youngest of four.
I lived with a sense that I wasa burden to my mom and my family
for so many years because I wasthe youngest and because we were
barely making it.
I felt like if I wasn't there,would their lives be better?
Would it be easier for them?
So that was a hard thing tocarry as a child.
Carol (03:05):
Wow, that's hard.
I'm both surprised anddisheartened that that was your
awareness as a child.
Speaking of your childhood, whatwas your faith foundation?
LeighAnn (03:17):
I was a believer.
I was more or less what I call astick figure, one dimensional
believer because I knew therewas a God, but my faith didn't
go past that.
I didn't know that there wasanything more than that.
I had no idea of the power andaccess that I had to the
spiritual blessings ofrelationship with Jesus.
(03:39):
We attended church from time totime with my grandma but I never
really felt a solid foundationnor that I belonged there.
Carol (03:47):
I've never heard that phrase before.
A stick figure, one dimensionalbeliever.
It's so fitting though, isn'tit?
When there's no relationship,it's all one sided, one
dimensional.
You said you thought you were aburden.
In your young mind and heart,how did that affect the way you
felt about yourself?
LeighAnn (04:05):
I think you touch on a really good point because all of
my striving and all of myaccomplishments were really
rooted in proving myself andproving my worth.
If I can just show them I can dothat, then I'll earn the love
that I was so desperatelyseeking.
Again, I didn't realize thatthere was relationship in Jesus
and God.
I just thought He existed and wejust needed to believe in Him.
(04:27):
But what I was searching for wasthat value and worth that He had
already placed in me, which allI had to do was go to Him to
discover it.
But I wasn't walking with theLord.
My older sister, Allison, wasalways a faithful believer and
she was influential in plantingso many seeds through the years,
even though I wasn't reallylistening.
(04:48):
I know that she was alwaysplanting those seeds.
So in spite of my earlystruggles and the home life
being difficult, I was juststriving and pressing on.
If I just do this one morething, then I will earn that
love and affection and attentionand I won't be abandoned or
rejected or all of those things.
Carol (05:08):
I think we do this as adults sometimes too.
"If I can just do or have thisone thing, then I'll finally be
happy." Too often we get thatthing or that accomplishment and
realize it was never what weneeded in the first place.
So you were working hard.
What happened?
LeighAnn (05:26):
I just thrived...
on the surface anyway.
I was a class president.
I was taking college courses inhigh school.
I had friends.
I was in sports.
At 18, I thought I had the worldon a platter.
I was graduating high school andjust getting out of Dodge
getting out of the small town.
I was going to live my life.
(05:47):
I was enlisted in the army andenrolled at UConn, which is the
State University in ConnecticutI was going to Military
training.
I was at MEPS, Military EntryProcessing System, in
Springfield, Massachusetts.
I found out on the day that Iwas supposed to be going to
training, I was expecting myfirst child.
Everything got turned upsidedown.
(06:10):
All my plans changed suddenly.
Instead of attending militarytraining in college, I was binge
watching a baby story on TLC.
I just needed to know everythingthere was about pregnancy and
labor and delivery.
This was going to be what washappening to me and I just
needed to educate myself.
So I used the baby story on TLCto do that, which is cute now
(06:31):
that I think of it.
I I was kicked out of my housefor being a teen mom, unwedded
teen mom, kicked out.
I ended up having to find aplace to live.
I stayed with my grandma for atime, worked three jobs,
hustled, hustled, hustled.
Carol (06:44):
So you just did what you knew to do, right?
It's the way you had been copingwith challenges your whole life.
You hustled.
And I imagine your life wasgoing to change even further.
LeighAnn (06:55):
Yeah, My son came, and his dad and I got married.
We literally put our heads downand the rest is like a blur.
We just hustled.
We worked.
We strived.
My husband also had a verydifficult childhood.
So we were both running awayfrom our childhoods.
We did everything that we couldpossibly do to keep our kids
(07:16):
from having the same experiencewe did.
It was so hard starting outwithout anything, with very
little support.
Everyone around us is young andliving the freedom lifestyle and
you're just doing what you haveto do to keep up and survive.
Carol (07:30):
Given that you and your husband had a similar childhood
experience, did that help increating a foundation for your
marriage?
LeighAnn (07:37):
No.
My husband and I had achallenging marriage.
We started off pretty awkwardly.
We had a lot of critical,judgmental episodes.
It just wasn't that pictureperfect honeymoon start.
And so that kind of played intothe years.
The only thing that really keptus connected was that desire to
(07:58):
give our kids that roof overtheir heads, that family life
that we didn't have.
And so that was really ourfocus.
And that kept us going for theyears that we weren't chasing
the Lord.
Carol (08:10):
I'm curious how you got from that experience where you
guys were struggling so much tonow where you've been together
for a long time.
LeighAnn (08:18):
Oh, yeah So that's the thing, right?
So we hustled and were marriedfor nearly 20 years.
Lots of ups and downs, both ofus trying to stay focused on the
family goals and what we wantedfor our family.
It was the winter of 2021.
My mom was hospitalized withCOVID 19 and my marriage was
(08:40):
officially in crisis.
Everything was falling apart.
Everything I'd worked so hard toprevent by being a good wife and
a good mother and a good nurseand all of the things like it
didn't add up.
I couldn't believe it.
This is everything I was runningfrom my whole life.
During that time, my husband wassleeping on the couch at his
(09:01):
mother's apartment and my momwas dying in the hospital while
I was unable to visit her.
And I had never felt so aloneand honestly, so destroyed.
I lost nearly 20 pounds duringthat like three weeks of time.
It was so much pain and griefand disbelief and shock, and
trauma.
(09:21):
My mom died in January of 2022.
I had only been able to see hertwice while she was in the
hospital because she had COVID.
That is when everything stopped.
I was hardened to everything.
My spouse wanted reconciliationand tried to support me when my
mom died tragically, but I waslike hardened to him.
(09:44):
I was just in survival mode.
For anyone who has experiencedbetrayal or brokenness in your
marriage, nothing can compare tothat pain and on top of grieving
the loss of someone so close toyou.
That's when I couldn't do itanymore.
I think I needed to haveeverything stripped away.
(10:05):
Where I just, I couldn't withoutGod.
Carol (10:08):
That moment you realized that all that running, that
striving was bringing youfurther from the one who had the
answers all along?
LeighAnn (10:16):
And honestly, Carol, it took almost 20 years before I
made that connection.
That all of this driving wasn'tgetting me where I needed to be
I didn't believe it until I sawhow God had been chasing me and
showing himself to me in so manyways in the last 20 years.
And, and I just was,"No, no, no,I got it." I just was either
ignoring it.
(10:37):
I didn't, I wouldn't see it.
It was right in front of me inall the ways right back from
when I was 19 having a baby andan inspiring nurse gave me
direction of my life.
My son just saved my life in somany ways.
Around the time that I wasenlisted in the military, it was
during 9/11, and 90 percent ofmy unit was deployed, but I was,
(10:58):
able to stay home and mother himand be with him instead of being
deployed with all the othermothers.
I was saved from going toAfghanistan.
So he saved me in so many ways.
And that's how God works by justworking all things together for
the good of those who love him.
Even if it doesn't make sense inthe time.
All of these things like God wasthere the whole time.
Carol (11:20):
So you had this painful but beautiful moment when you
realized that God had beenworking your whole life for your
good, even though you couldn'tsee it.
So is this where a new pathbegan for you?
And if so, how did it happen?
LeighAnn (11:33):
So I told my husband, and I didn't think he would do
it, to call Allie my faithfulsister, who had always been
planting seeds through the yearsAnd he did.
He got off the phone with me andcalled my sister.
She prompted him to seek God,and he did that.
He not only sought God, hepowerfully leaned in, and he
(11:55):
hasn't been the same since.
He used to be critical ofreligion and never had any
interest in church.
Now he was bringing me to churchand reading me daily
devotionals.
He would read to me the BibleOver time, I was able to slowly
heal and open up.
I could see how the Lordtransformed my husband right
(12:16):
before my eyes.
The Lord works miracles, and Iwas just softening to that
reality.
Softening to that there's moreto God than just, the stick
figure belief that I had.
So I jumped in with my husband.
It's kind of bittersweet in thatit took us so much time to get
there, but the Lord doesn'twaste anything.
(12:38):
And it's so beautiful when thetwo of you can do it together.
We are so blessed beyond measurethat we both are deeply in love
with the Lord and who he is andhis character and our lives are
led by him.
Carol (12:52):
So it sounds like you've transformed from a stick figure
believer into a full fledged Godis the center of your life kind
of figure.
It's very rich and it's verybeautiful.
How do you maintain that?
What do you do to nourish andnurture that faith?
LeighAnn (13:08):
We are all in type of people.
It's kind of funny and we laughabout it.
But if we say we're going to dosomething, we do it.
We go all in.
So we signed up for every singleclass we could get our hands on.
We never miss a church service.
We go to every single thing thatthe church puts on.
We're volunteering.
We're raking leaves.
We're planting seeds.
(13:29):
We're making chili.
We're on the worship team.
We're doing anything we coulddo.
You know, we have that heart andit's all a hunger.
Carol (13:38):
I so love that it's not your spirit that has changed.
It's just the direction.
You're still striving, butyou're striving toward the Lord
and you're doing it together.
LeighAnn (13:49):
But we did have a fear of what if we fall back?
What if we backslide?
We don't want to lose this.
It's just over three years.
We are at the same place.
Our fire is still burning so hotfor the Lord.
Carol (14:01):
So how do you maintain that fire?
LeighAnn (14:04):
We stay on fire by pursuing him through letting him
continue to sanctify us.
And for me, that looks like alot of inner healing that I have
to do to release limitingbeliefs and release the old ways
that I used to behave.
I used to let myself beobjectified by people, run over,
(14:24):
used up, taken advantage of, andI wouldn't say boo about it.
I would just let it happenbecause either I didn't feel
good enough or I thought itdidn't matter.
But now I demand a certainexcellence for myself because of
who dwells in me, right?
So I'm not letting those thingshappen to me anymore because I
(14:45):
know the glorious, righteousKing who dwells in me, I am a
temple for Him.
Carol (14:50):
I love that.
And I love that you have takenall of your experiences and all
of that love that you'vereceived, and now you're pouring
it into your business, and thenhelping other women achieve that
same joy and fulfillment.
LeighAnn (15:03):
Yeah.
My husband and I both have amission and a purpose in our
life to really bring as manypeople to Jesus as possible.
In fact, I did start my coachingpractice for people like my mom.
I think my mom worked so hard togive us love in spite of her
likely experiencing so muchburnout herself.
(15:23):
I always admired her compassionand loving heart knowing that
she was coming from a place oflack she tried her hardest.
I think about how my mom's life,my sibling's life, and my own
life could have been differentif my mom had gotten coaching or
just had support that sheneeded.
I've been a women's health nursefor nearly 20 years and in that
(15:45):
space I have been blessed towalk with women as they
experience the joys of newbeginnings and of course sharing
in the pain of crushing loss.
So I learned a lot about womenand what they need to live in
their self worth and live intheir confidence, their God
confidence.
Our lives just becomeunsustainable with the
expectations we put onourselves.
(16:07):
I really wanted to use mynursing expertise and my
coaching training, my love ofthe Lord, just to create
something that can help walkwith women as they learn to grow
in their awareness of their Godworth, their God given purpose.
And my coaching is faith fueled.
We work on shifting mindsets andshowing up authentically,
(16:27):
learning self compassion in asafe, supportive space.
That's what I'm passionateabout.
Carol (16:32):
So before we close, do you have any advice for our
listeners?
LeighAnn (16:36):
I think my takeaway would be if you want to be in
relationship with the Lord, takesome time and ask the Lord, what
is getting in the way of mereceiving what you have for me?"
What's blocking you from beingable to really receive his love?
And see what comes up for you.
Be gentle with yourself becauseGod is so gentle.
(16:57):
He's not gonna lambast you witha lot of things all at once.
Sometimes it's just one thing.
And, relationship with Jesus isamazing and it's available to
all of us who believe in him.
Carol (17:10):
That's so great.
I was thinking about one of thethings that we had talked about
earlier with those blockades,and I think we unintentionally
do it to ourselves.
We have these God-sized holes inus and we're filling it with
everything but God.
And so if we just stop trying tofill it, God will take up that
space and create some beautywithin us.
Your favorite scripture is theone that we opened with.
(17:32):
Romans 8, 28, which expressesthat even in difficult
situations, God is activelyworking for our benefit and our
spiritual growth.
"We know that in all things, Godworks for the good of those who
love him, who were calledaccording to his purpose."
LeighAnn, your life, yourjourney, and your mission show
(17:54):
that you live the scripture outin your everyday life.
So the name of your coachingbusiness again is Crosswinds
Collaborative.
How can our listeners find you?
LeighAnn (18:04):
I have a website.
It's www.crosswindscollab.com.
So that's, C-O-L-L-A B.com.
It's short for collaborative.
I'm also on Instagram and onFacebook.
You can find me at crosswindscollab.
Carol (18:21):
Thank you for sharing your story, LeighAnn.
I know that I have been moved byyour story, and I'm sure it will
move at least one heart towardJesus.
LeighAnn (18:29):
Thank you, Carol.
It was great to be here.
And I really appreciate thisspace to share some of my story.
I do hope that it helps move oneheart closer to Jesus.
Carol (18:39):
I'm sure it will.
We welcome everyone who wouldlike to become involved in this
movement.
There are really great ways foryou to get involved.
One is by becoming a storytellerand sharing your story.
And second, we humbly ask you toconsider donating to the
podcast.
Thank you to those who havealready taken the step to
donate.
The funds will help us producethe podcast and even allow us to
(19:02):
offer some spiritual retreatscholarships.
You can sign up as a storytelleror donate at
GodIsGoodPodcast.com/joinus.
All of your support, whetherit's a donation, a like, a
follow, or even sharing thepodcast with a friend is so
appreciated.
It really helps us move as manyhearts as possible toward Jesus.
(19:26):
Until next time, friends,remember, God is good.
LeighAnn (19:30):
God is good.
Thank you, Carol.
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