October 22, 2024 • 49 mins
Could the heartbreaking disappearance of 13-year-old Na'Ziyah Harris have been prevented? This episode brings you into the distressing reality of a system that failed her, focusing on how a 41-year-old man named Jarvis Butts preyed on her innocence. Before the police even stepped in, it was the Detroit Public Schools Community District leading the charge, revealing shocking gaps in the procedures for handling missing persons cases. We dissect these events to shine a light on the urgent need for systemic change and community action in safeguarding our children.
As we navigate the harrowing details of Na'Ziyah's case, Wayne County Prosecutor Kim Worthy works to unravel the predatory behaviors of Jarvis Butts. With chilling insight, we explore the signs of grooming and the deceptive nature of these predators. We'll break down how seemingly innocent behaviors can mask sinister intentions, urging families to recognize and act on red flags such as secrecy and inappropriate relationships. In today's digital age, where online interactions can become breeding grounds for exploitation, knowledge and vigilance are our strongest defenses.
Throughout this episode, we remind our listeners of the power of community involvement. From the crucial role of public awareness campaigns to actionable steps individuals can take, we emphasize the collective responsibility to protect our children and bring attention to missing persons cases. We invite you, our engaged audience, to stay informed, share insights, and help us spotlight future issues by reaching out with your suggestions and reviews. Together, let's amplify the voices of those who cannot speak for themselves and strive to prevent tragedies like Na'Ziyah's from reoccurring.
Sources:
https://disappearedblog.com/the-disappearance-of-naziyah-harris/
https://www.clickondetroit.com/news/local/2024/09/26/groomer-pedophile-charged-in-death-of-13-year-old-detroit-girl-last-seen-in-january/
https://www.cbsnews.com/detroit/news/prosecutors-provide-update-naziyah-harris-case/
https://www.detroitnews.com/story/news/local/wayne-county/2024/09/27/detroit-man-remanded-to-jail-for-death-of-naziyah-harris-13/75395890007/
https://www.fox2detroit.com/news/missing-naziyah-harris-loved-ones-protest-outside-court-house-for-answers
https://www.abuseclaimsuk.co.uk/knowledge-hub/spotting-the-warning-signs-of-child-grooming/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 2 (00:09):
When you're 13 years old, it's easy to place your
trust in people who seem kind orthose who seem to understand
whatever it is you may be goingthrough.
The child may be lavished withfancy gifts or the promise to be
their escape from an unhappyhome life.
Sometimes it's innocent, butsometimes it's deadly.
(00:35):
It's called grooming, and thenumber one goal of a groomer is
to gain access to what you lovemost your child.
They start by gaining yourchild's trust.
Then they work to gain yours.
When 13-year-old Naziah Harrisbegan talking to 41-year-old
(00:58):
Jarvis Butts, she thought it wasjust playful flirting until the
text messages started gettingvery inappropriate.
Jarvis soon gained Naziah'strust and what she thought was
innocent fun in the beginningwould take her down a much
(01:18):
darker path that would end youngNaziah's life far too soon.
This is the case of NaziahHarris and this is Gone in a
Blink.
Hey, true crime fans, I'm yourhost, heather, and I'm danielle.
(01:49):
Welcome to episode 27 of gonein a blink.
Halloween is almost here andthere is a lot going on with
fall festivals and halloweenparties.
And, danielle, have you been toany halloween parties this year
?
You?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
mean the one I had at my house.
Other than that, no.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I myself have been to one so far and it was a lot of
fun.
I dressed up as a chick fromthe 80s and my husband dressed
up as one of the guys from RunDMC, with gold chains and the
big floppy hat bucket hat, Iguess they call it and so it was
a lot of fun.
And my kids were Freddy Krueger, and I really have no idea what
(02:35):
my son was.
To be quite honest with you,some type of creepy monster guy
in a onesie, if that makes anysense.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Well, what we've kind of been doing is starting to
watch spooky movies at home.
The other night my olderdaughter and I went to our
city's symphony and they wereshowing the original Psycho and
they did the music.
So the symphony did the musicwhile the movie is playing.
I had never seen the originalPsycho, so it was quite the
(03:07):
treat.
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I would have liked to have seen that.
So today's case is one thatevery parent should listen to,
especially those of youngerschool-aged kids.
In the age of social media,every day, child predators are
learning new ways to gain accessto children.
Sometimes, however, thepredator is someone you already
(03:30):
know.
That was true in the case we'retalking about today, the case
of 13-year-old Naziah Harris.
So if you're ready, let's jumpright in.
Naziah Harris was a 13-year-oldstudent who attended JE Clark
Preparatory Academy in Detroit,michigan.
She grew up in Detroit andlived with her grandmother,
(03:52):
annette Harris.
On the afternoon of January 9th2024, at around 2.50 pm, naziah
was seen getting off her schoolbus near the intersection of
Cornwall and Three Mile Drive.
Her grandmother had beenexpecting her home soon after.
However, naziah never made ithome.
Extreme worry began to set inas the hours ticked by without
(04:16):
any word from Naziah.
The following day, when Naziahstill hadn't come home, the
family reported her missing tothe Detroit Public School
Community District and theybegan initial investigation.
They brought in US Marshals tobegin the search, and I thought
that this was a little strange,and maybe it's really not that
(04:37):
strange and I just had neverheard of it.
But why would Naziah'sdisappearance be reported to the
school district and not thepolice department?
The Detroit Police Departmentdid not take over the
investigation until February13th of 2024.
So is this normal practice fora school district to investigate
a missing persons case?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah, that doesn't sound like it.
That sounds very odd to me.
How many days was that inbetween when school district was
notified versus the police gotinvolved?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
We're talking January 9th when she went missing and
it was reported the followingday, so January 10th to February
13th, so just a little over onemonth, and I don't know if the
police department was notnotified.
But it was the Detroit PublicSchools Community District that
(05:32):
led the investigation and I cansee if it's something that may
have happened on school groundsor something internally within
the school itself.
But for the police departmentnot to have taken the main part
in the investigation until morethan a month after her
disappearance is just crazy tome.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
If my child was missing didn't come home.
That's the first people thatI'm calling is the police
department, not the schooldistrict.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Well, exactly.
So I don't know how things areexactly ran in Detroit.
I don't quite know what thatsetup is with the community
school district versus thepolice department, but if any of
our listeners do have insighton that, I would love to hear
more about that.
So what I'm understanding fromreports that I have found is
(06:24):
that it was up to the schooldistrict to turn the
investigation over to the policedepartment and they took more
than one month, like I mentioned, to do that.
But there were also reportsthat on January 14th 2024,
authorities searched the entirearea where Harris was last seen
with the help of police dogs andvolunteers.
(06:45):
So police were involved in thesearch, but the actual
investigation was not theirs atthat time.
So it's kind of confusingreally.
So during the search inmid-January, authorities
involved in the case were nocloser to finding Naziah than
they were when they firststarted searching.
And once the police took overthe investigation in
(07:08):
mid-February, that's really whenthings started to amp up.
On February 14th 2024, policesearched a neighborhood near
Garland and Shoemaker and byFebruary 20th police made the
announcement that they wereinterviewing suspects in
Naziah's disappearance.
Three months later, on May 7th2024, it was reported that
(07:32):
authorities had named a suspectand that he was currently
incarcerated at the Wayne CountyJail.
Then, four months after that,on September 26th 2024, after
eight months of investigatingwitnesses and sifting through
evidence, police finally hadenough to arrest 41-year-old
(07:55):
Jarvis Butts and his last nameseems to be quite fitting he was
charged with first-degreemurder, child sexual abuse
activity and second-degreecriminal sexual conduct.
In Naziah's case, hisarraignment was set for the
following day, on September 27th.
As it turns out, butts was nostranger to Naziah.
(08:18):
He was, in fact, the father ofone of Naziah's cousins and,
according to prosecutors, theabuse that Naziah endured from
Butts began as early as 2022.
You know?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
with a lot of the crimes that we cover on this
podcast.
A lot of times it takes so longfor them to have a conviction
and to go through that process,but it seems pretty quickly that
they knew that Butts wasinvolved in some way.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, I think that they really.
They had a lot of red flags.
I know that the family knew,obviously knew him.
He was the father of one of thecousins or a few of the cousins
, so he was in the family andthey were very weary of him and
I'll report on that later, butthere was some red flags.
(09:10):
So, as I mentioned, in 2022 iswhen the abuse began and it was
then that Butts began sendingNaziah explicit text messages.
It was at that time also thathe encouraged her to send him
sexual photos of herself as well.
So this all began two yearsprior to her disappearance.
(09:31):
So at that time, naziah wasjust 11 years old.
So in September of 2023, it wasdiscovered that Naziah sent
Butts a text message telling himthat she had not had her period
.
By November, butts was madequite aware that Naziah was
pregnant and at the time of herdisappearance, it was reported
(09:52):
that she was looking to get anabortion.
Text messages show that Buttshad been searching for
information online aboutabortions, abortion pills and
drinking red antifreeze.
Authorities sifted throughcountless hours of witness
statements, surveillance footage, text messages, medical records
(10:13):
and police reports.
As reported by CBS News, policewent through 111 gigabytes of
video, 506 gigabytes of phonemessage exchanges and 16
gigabytes of documents.
Text messages show that Harrissent a message to Butts from her
tablet indicating that theywere planning to meet up.
(10:36):
On the afternoon of January 9thAfter school she met up with
Butts and one of his co-workersat Butts Auto Repair Shop, and
after that they drove to a towncalled Ipsy.
Before returning to Detroit,where Butts checked into a hotel
room at 9.30 pm, naziah was notwith him, and this is the last
(10:58):
time anyone has seen Naziah.
The following day, butts wastracked to the Rouge River in
Detroit.
There they recovered theclothes that Naziah was wearing
on the day she disappeared.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I don't know if you have anything on it.
I'd be interested to know kindof the family dynamic, if
Naziah's father was involved inher life, or how home life was.
Do you have?
Speaker 2 (11:23):
anything on that.
There wasn't a whole lot aboutthat, but I do know that her
mother couldn't care for herwhen she was little.
So Naziah was living with hergrandmother.
Her grandmother had officiallyadopted her and there was no
mention of Naziah's biologicalfather.
So I don't like to theorize,but it didn't sound like he was
(11:47):
in the picture.
From everything that I hadgathered, she had her
grandmother and she had heraunts and cousins and things of
that nature.
I'm not even sure if Naziah hada sibling.
There wasn't any reports that Ifound on that either.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
So why I ask that is because in my line of work I
deal with this more than I'dlike, and so what happens a lot
of times is these young girls orpre adolescent time, that
they're kind of looking for thatattention, not in their mind at
first, not necessarily thatattention, you know, of any kind
(12:24):
of sexual or anything like that, depending on what they've
already been exposed to, butmore like that father figure
attention.
This butts guy is making thefirst move, so she's looking for
that attention really, you know, from the father figure
standpoint.
But then butts gonna call theshots shots.
So he's looked at as the male.
(12:45):
So if he is presenting her ortrying to to groom her thinking
with the suggestion of sexualphotos or acting out in that way
, it's almost like because shewants that attention so much she
doesn't want that attention toto go away, so she, she goes
along with it, even though shemay feel like that that isn't
(13:08):
exactly right, but she doesn'tknow for sure.
So that's kind of what I sawhere.
Now his defense would probablybe oh, it was consensual.
Have you ever heard that instinking media or whatever, that
the grown man tries to convince, or that's his defensive?
Oh, that, that she wanted it an11 year old girl, so this was
(13:32):
totally driven by butts.
I'm wondering, just as we'regetting further into this, if
that's maybe why the family knewthat he had a tendency for this
.
It doesn't just start one day.
There could have been others inthe family knew that he had a
tendency for this.
It doesn't just start one day.
There could have been others inthe family that something
similar has happened like thisand the family was trying to
protect him.
(13:52):
That could be why they went tothe school district and they
were investigating first and notthe police.
So I mean, it's just as we'reunraveling this.
It's definitely like a groomingsituation.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
This is a classic grooming situation, and we will
talk a little bit later in thisepisode about what to look for
when you suspect that someone'sgrooming or not, even when you
suspect it, because it can be sosubtle, but I don't know how
subtle it was in this case.
So prosecutor Kim Worthy statedthat there was an overwhelming
(14:34):
amount of evidence to suggestthat Naziah Harris is no longer
alive, even though a body hasnever been found.
Butts was arraigned inSeptember 2024 in the 36th
District Court on one count ofmurder, six counts of sexual
assault and one count of childsexual abuse material relating
(14:56):
to the case of Naziah Harris.
Butts is also being charged forthe sexual abuse of two other
underage girls and, according toWayne County Prosecutor Kim
Worthy, the two other girls wereunder the age of 13 at the time
the offenses took place and areseparate from Harris's case.
It was reported that one of thegirls was assaulted by Butts
(15:19):
from April 2012 to April 2014.
That victim is now 20 years old.
The other victim was assaultedby Butts from July 2015 to July
2017.
His charge in that case is onecount of second degree criminal
sexual conduct with a childunder the age of 13.
(15:41):
And that victim is just now 13years old.
So that means that back in 2015, that little girl was only four
years old.
So he has a past, he has ahistory of doing this, and
prosecutor Kim Worthy was quotedas saying quote Mr Butts
(16:02):
targeted and befriended women tohave sexual relationships with
their young daughters.
He would have relationships withtheir mothers, but his true
desire was to have sex withtheir young daughters.
That's what the evidence willshow.
Unquote.
Worthy referred to Butts asquote a classic expert groomer
and pedophile.
(16:22):
Unquote.
According to an articlepublished by Fox 2 Detroit,
naziah's cousin Kawana told thenews outlet that she and other
family members were very wearyof Jarvis Butts and had
mentioned it to Child ProtectiveServices as well as the police.
So they knew of Butts and itsounds like they suspected, or
(16:43):
maybe flat out knew, that he wasinteracting with Naziah, and
why that I'm not quite sure.
The logistics of you knoweverything that was going on, so
I don't want to, you know putthem out there and say why
didn't, why didn't you stop this?
Because it's easy for me to sithere and say that when I'm not
(17:04):
in the situation.
So there's a lot that goes intoit and he he may have even
gained the trust of most of thefamily some way.
I don't know.
It's a.
It's a really tough pill toswallow.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Well.
I think, in general, I mean anykind of ethnic group you come
from.
You know family's everythingand you don't want to believe
that your family one is going tohurt people in general but to
hurt somebody within the family.
So a lot of times, like kind ofour brains will try to excuse
it away so that we cancomprehend and not think the
(17:37):
worst that.
Oh, you know, yeah, it's kindof weird that they're texting
back and forth, but I'm sureit's nothing type of thing.
Now, unfortunately, if somebodywas paying attention and
looking over the text then maybethey they would have seen that
exactly.
We don't want to speculatebecause we're not in that
(17:57):
position, but I mean that's kindof the things that I've seen
versus they want to protecttheir family, they feel like
that within the family they cantake care of it instead of
getting the police involved.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
So this brings me to the topic of child grooming and
the warning signs that everyparent should watch out for.
In an age where underageactivity is surging on social
media sites such as TikTok andFacebook, instagram, twitter,
snapchat and many, many more,more and more children are being
(18:33):
groomed, and the internet isthe easiest way to do it.
Hiding behind a computer screenallows the perpetrator to lie
about their age, their looks,their financial status, pretty
much anything.
According to an article inPsychology Today, sexual
grooming is defined as thedeceptive process by which a
(18:55):
would-be abuser, prior to thecommission of sexual abuse,
selects a victim, gains accessto and isolates the minor,
develops trust with the minorand often other adults in the
minor's life, and desensitizesthe minor to sexual content and
physical contact.
(19:15):
One of the reasons whydetecting child grooming can be
difficult is because many of thebehaviors that are used by
child groomers can mimic that ofa normal, caring adult-child
interaction.
Signs are not always obvious andoftentimes the groomer is known
to the family.
The purpose of child groomingis so that the individual doing
(19:37):
the grooming can prepare thechild for a meeting.
The groomer will usemanipulation, sexual abuse and
exploitation as tactics to getwhat they want from the child.
The groomer will often exploitthe child's vulnerabilities in
order to gain trust and detachthem from their family.
Child's vulnerabilities inorder to gain trust and detach
(19:58):
them from their family.
Some of the vulnerabilitiesthat the groomer will look for
include emotional neediness,isolation, neglect and unstable
home life, as well as a lack ofparental supervision.
A groomer can be any age, race,gender or ethnicity, and it can
be someone that you already know, or they could be a total
stranger.
Child groomers are experts attheir own game, therefore making
(20:23):
the act of grooming sometimesalmost impossible to detect.
Many times, the child or theparents may not even realize
what is happening to them.
So, according to an article onthe Abuse Claims website, the
following are a list ofindicators to look out for.
Number one having a boyfriendor girlfriend who is much older
(20:48):
than them.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I have a question on that.
Now are we talking about achild, a minor at this point,
having a boyfriend or girlfriendwho's much older than them.
So I guess what would be mucholder?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Well, just an example If you have a 15-year-old
daughter or son and they nowhave a boyfriend that's 22 years
old, that's a big gap.
I feel like most people willknow right off on that one.
Okay, if you have a 15 year old, that's with a 17 year old, no,
(21:22):
that's not necessarily.
That's not a big gap.
But usually it's adults thatare preying on children.
So any adult that's preying onchildren like that, that's a
first red flag.
Second is being secretive abouthow they're spending their time
, including when online.
The next one is having newclothes and expensive items such
(21:45):
as a mobile phone.
Not wanting to talk about wheretheir new stuff has come from,
skipping school or sportingactivities, substance abuse like
underage, drinking or drugtaking, spending more or less
time on their phone, laptop ortablet.
Being upset, withdrawn oranxious, no longer talking to
(22:09):
you about their feelings, usinginappropriate language or
showing an understanding of sexthat's not appropriate for their
age, disappearing for longperiods with no explanation as
to where they have been.
And groomers don't alwaystarget children.
They aim at gaining the trustof the parents as well, in order
(22:31):
to lower suspicion and gaineasier access to children.
Here are the following signs tolook for that may indicate that
someone is grooming the adultwith the intention of accessing
your child.
Number one they offer tobabysit your child.
Number two they offer to takethe child on excursions or trips
(22:53):
that are away.
Number three they buy thefamily gifts.
Number four they play with yourchild and touch them in a
non-sexual way as a means ofgetting you and your child used
to physical contact.
And that's scary and I guessmaybe your radar would go off if
someone was constantly veryhandsy I know mine would,
(23:18):
because I'm not a handsy person,and definitely not with other
people's children.
So I feel like if someone wasalways had their arm around one
of my children or hugging onthem and I'm not talking about a
grandparent, although a groomercan also be a grandparent.
So it is tricky because, like Imentioned earlier, it can mimic
(23:43):
someone that is a genuinecaregiver.
That doesn't mean any harm.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
And that's what I mean.
Yes, can be so confusing,because a lot of what you're
describing can be kind oftypical in a family setting.
I mean, think about indifferent cultures where, like,
the whole family live in onehouse.
They may be a little moreaffectionate, and that doesn't
necessarily mean that there's aproblem.
(24:11):
However, what I would recommendis, if that is happening,
especially all of a sudden, toreally, as that child's parent,
to really be monitoring that.
I mean, you don't have to letthem know you're monitoring, but
just keep an eye out, Becauseyou know it's such a hard thing,
because you don't want todisclude people the aunts,
(24:31):
uncles, whatever that are justtrying to be nice.
But because of the world thatwe live in, what you're
describing is definitely redflags, and if that's something
that hasn't been in your guys'sfamily dynamic and then all of a
sudden it just is, that wouldbe a big red flag there too.
I think either way is just tobe on the side of caution and if
(24:53):
something looks weird, thenreally start to investigate to
make sure that your child issafe.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
When I think this is why so many times it goes.
It goes undetected becauseyou're not really thinking about
that.
Most people are thinking, hey,this uncle or this family friend
is, it's just innocent.
They're giving my child highfives all the time.
(25:19):
They're just giving them hugs.
It's not in a sexual way.
But they don't realize thatit's not going to start out in a
sexual manner right off the bat.
And that's part of grooming theparents as well, to gain the
trust.
And it's scary, it really is so.
Number five they oftencompliment your family and your
(25:43):
style of parenting.
Number six they try to initiatea romantic relationship with
you.
Number seven they offer tomentor or individually coach
your child.
They offer to mentor orindividually coach your child.
So there's a lot of red flagsto kind of watch for.
But even those can be verysubtle.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
And that's what makes it hard.
I mean, think about a singlemother, a single parent,
grandparent, in this situation,because you need that support.
So if you have a family memberor a close friend, whatever sex
it is is offering to help youwith your child, you're probably
going to take that and going tolike, oh I mean this seems
(26:25):
weird, but I need the help.
So I mean you could see that aswell, and that in itself can
put your child into danger.
But what is the alternative, asa single mother myself, is that
I mean you need to work, youneed to supply for your child,
and so I definitely understandbeing in that state of that.
This is very nice for them tooffer that.
(26:47):
But I think, where we have toagain side of caution, that we
wouldn't want to choose workingover something happening to our
child.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So that's where you want to look out for those red
flags and if something doesn'tseem right, then quietly
investigating or looking, notletting the person know that
you're even kind of questioning,but just kind of silently
double checking that everythingis panning out Well exactly, and
(27:18):
I really believe that thegroomer, they're preying on a
parent that they know isvulnerable themselves by, like
you mentioned, needing to go towork, and so you're kind of
overlooking things or turning ablind eye to things that maybe
(27:41):
should be paid attention to, butbecause you have to work and
you're struggling to do this andthat you kind of just let those
red flags blow over and theyknow that that's part of their
game.
There is also five stages ofchild grooming, and so I want to
(28:01):
go over those real quick soeverybody kind of has an
understanding of just theirmentality.
I mean, it's sick, it'sextremely sick, but it's this
whole process because they haveone goal, and one goal only, and
that is to gain access to yourchild.
So stage one is victimselection, and this consists of
(28:25):
the minor is compliant andtrusting of adults.
The minor lacks confidence orhas low self-esteem.
This is all criteria for whatthey're looking for.
The minor is lonely or isolated.
The minor is troubled.
The minor is needy.
The child feels unwanted orunloved in the home.
(28:49):
The child is not close toparents or parents are not
resources for them.
The child lives with a singlemother and needs a father figure
and in this case of Naziah, shewas living with her grandmother
, so the child has a lack ofsupervision, like I mentioned
earlier, that's a big one forany groomer that's going to look
(29:12):
for a victim.
So stage two is gaining accessand isolation.
The individual would be maybeinvolved in youth serving
organizations such as a schoolor Boy Scouts, girl Scouts,
sports, anything like that.
Manipulates the family to gainaccess to the child, engages in
(29:34):
activities alone with the childand excludes adults, takes the
child for overnight stays oroutings, separates the child
from peers and family.
So the next stage, stage three,it's trust development.
The groomer will appearcharming, nice or likable to
(29:58):
everyone around them.
Has insider status or a goodreputation, like they're a
pillar of the community, whichyou see all the time especially
just an example, maybe withpriests or pastors or police
officers a pillar in thecommunity, someone that the
title alone is telling peoplehey, you can trust them, and
(30:21):
they know that and some of themwill abuse that Is affectionate
or loving with the child.
Gives the child attention,exhibits favoritism, like
special relationship with thechild, gives the child
compliments, spends time withthe child communicating, often
(30:42):
through text messaging or phonecalls, emails, things like that.
Engages in childlike activitiessuch as games, sports, music,
stuff like that.
Gives minor rewards orprivileges like toys and gifts,
money trips, things of thatnature, finally.
Money trips things of thatnature, finally.
(31:03):
Provides the child with drugsand or alcohol.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Well, so that's where , with my line of work, I've
seen all of this and whathappens, especially when you get
adolescents or pre-adolescentsthey like the gifts, they like
the toys, so they are hesitantto say anything, so they can
have a mind of that.
Yeah, this doesn't seem right,but if I tell anybody and maybe
(31:29):
this was even the groomeractually telling them this they
get this sense.
If they tell somebody, then thegifts, the toys are going to
stop, the attention is going tostop, and so that's where it's
so hard for a child.
That is in that situation wherethey're wanting the attention
(31:51):
maybe low socioeconomic, thatthey're not getting gifts or
toys that their peers aregetting.
And then here's this personthat is providing all of this
and kind of in their mind if youput yourself in the child's
mind a bit, it's like oh, I justhave to do this and I still get
the gifts and the toys.
They're not thinking about howwrong this is, how messed up
(32:19):
that this is, that a grown adultis asking me to send nude
photos.
They're thinking more of themonetary, that the attention
that it's providing, and that'sso sad, honestly, that they're
not getting that from parents oryou know other sources, and
that's what a groomer knows, andso that's kind of what they
(32:39):
prey on.
I wonder also, though, if itcould be sometimes like like
that it's not planned out, butit just kind of happens.
Have you thought about it?
in that way, heather, you knowhow people say that, oh, it just
happened, it's just happened.
We, you know, we reallyconnected and you really love
each other as a defense.
(32:59):
But you know, sometimes Iwonder if the groomer that, yeah
, that they are attracted toyoung children and may not go
into it thinking that, oh, I'mgoing to groom so and so
specifically, but more as anopportunity of who you know in
(33:19):
the family that will presentthemselves as vulnerable and
would be more open to that kindof relationship than other
children Do you get what.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
I'm saying there, I definitely think that it's
always planned out.
That's my opinion.
I don't think that a childgroomer doesn't plan on grooming
.
I don't think that they onlyhave an attraction to children,
(33:49):
which is called pedophilia.
I don't think that they justhappen to fall in love with a
child and they're completelyinnocent and I think it's a
sickness.
I think it's definitely anillness and I think they know
it's wrong and they know that ifpeople around them notice this,
(34:12):
they're going to be in serioustrouble.
So that is why the groomingprocess even exists, in my
opinion, is because they knowthey can't just grab a random
child and say, hey, I'mattracted to you Because most
children know it's wrong as well, and I think it's a whole
(34:34):
process and the kid knows it'swrong and that's why they're
bribed with gifts and thingslike that and that's why the
people around them are alsogroomed, because everyone knows
it's wrong, even them.
So I think they go into thiswith a plan and they are,
unfortunately, very good at itand I think anyone that, like
(35:00):
I'd mentioned before, just as anexample, people of the church
or people with a title that issupposed to be trusting for
everyone, but especially forkids, when they abuse that they
know it's wrong.
It's all about the groomingprocess and how they're not able
(35:21):
to have access to thesechildren and do the things the
sick and twisted things thatthey want to do to these
children without having aprocess in place that allows
them access to these childrenand gains the trust of both the
child and the family.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
So I want to make sure that you understand what
I'm saying, because I don't wantthere to be any indication that
I'm like trying to give them anexcuse or anything like that.
What I am saying is that that Ihave seen, because of the
sickness, that the groomer usesthat as their defense that, oh,
(36:02):
it just happened, oh, we reallyconnected.
And while, yes, I think for themost part it is planned that
okay, that I mean, especially asthey get good at it, then they
are seeking out these childrenand the less they get caught,
you start to get cocky and youstart to, oh well, really to
(36:23):
seek out the children when Iguess, if you look at it at a
psychological point, yes, it's asickness, so it kind of in
their brains, at least at first.
I really do think that they gothrough this, oh it just
happened, or whatever, basicallylying to themselves.
The child, yeah, I think, justlike in this case, there's no
(36:45):
way that it started out sexual.
He gained the trust.
Oh, somebody she could talk toif you couldn't talk to parents.
I mean, even in schools weteach okay, we want you to find
a trusted adult that you cantalk to if you can't talk to
your parents, because goingthrough adolescence,
pre-adolescence, yeah, kids stoptalking to their parents
(37:10):
because they don't want to getin trouble, and it's a slippery
slope, but you do want them tofind a trusted adult.
I think it still needs to bemonitored, though, because it
can very quickly turn intosomething like that, and then
you get that defensive oh, itjust happened, we didn't mean
for it to.
And, yes, that, in my personalopinion, is a bunch of bull.
But in the same sense I meanmaybe not specifically with this
(37:33):
person, but you knew that youwere seeking that and an adult
not keeping those boundaries,that something like this, if it
wasn't quote unquote alreadyplanned could very quickly turn
into something like that becausethey're not keeping the
boundaries.
That's kind of where, even withfamily members of them coming
(37:53):
forth and offering to take careof children or buying gifts,
something like that aunts,uncles, whatever there's
boundaries, and if a parent seesthat this person is not
respecting those boundaries,then that's definitely a red
flag and things like that thatyou've mentioned that you need
to look out for so it doesn'tturn into something else.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Well, I definitely know that nine times out of 10,
these perpetrators will use thatas a defense, saying that they
fell in love with this child andthey weren't planning it,
unless their defense is thatthey didn't do it at all.
But I definitely think thatthat is something that they try
(38:36):
and fall back on.
Their number one intention isto have a sexual relationship of
some sort with the child, and alot of times I think that's why
they end up killing them isbecause, unfortunately, in
Nazia's case, I think it couldhave very well been because she
had ended up pregnant, andthat's incredibly sad to me.
I don't know if he would havekilled her regardless of whether
(38:59):
or not she became pregnant, butthis man preyed on other
women's children as well.
So, as the prosecutor said, hisaim was, yeah, he would have a
relationship with the mother,but he really was just wanting
to have the relationship withthe daughter.
That was his aim.
So stage four is thedesensitization to sexual
(39:25):
content and physical contact.
So that includes they askquestions about the child's
sexual experience or pastrelationships.
They will talk about sexualthings they themselves have done
.
They will use inappropriatesexual language.
They will teach minors sexualeducation, use of accidental
(39:49):
touching or distraction.
While touching.
They will watch the childundress, exposes their own naked
body to the child.
They will show the minorpornography magazines, videos,
images, things of that nature.
They will be seemingly innocent, non-sexual contact, things
(40:10):
like that.
They'll tickle them, hug themsitting on the lap, just kind of
working their way up whichmakes me sick just to even talk
of that.
Working their way up, whichmakes me sick just to even talk
of that.
Desensitizes minor to the touchand increasing sexual touching.
So that was stage four.
Now stage five is the last andfinal stage.
(40:31):
It's post-abuse maintenancebehaviors.
They will tell the child not totell anyone what happened.
They will encourage secrets andsecret keeping.
They will tell the minor I loveyou or you're special, make
them feel loved.
They will give the childrewards or bribes not to tell
(40:54):
and say things.
By not telling they will avoidpunishment things.
By not telling they will avoidpunishment.
They will persuade the childthe sexual abuse was acceptable
or normal behavior.
They will provide the childwith misstated moral standards
regarding touching.
They will make the child feelresponsible for the abuse like
(41:16):
it was their fault.
They will threaten the childwith abandonment, rejection,
family breaking up if they tell.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
And that's kind of what I was saying earlier is
that the child doesn't want thatattention to stop, and then, of
course, being told by the adultthat, oh well, it's like they
changed their tune, that oh,this touching touching's okay,
but then they're saying, oh, butif you tell then it's going to
make you in trouble, and so Icould see that that would just
(41:46):
be really confusing to the child, and I mean, especially in a
low socio-economical situation,they don't want the attention to
stop, they don't want thepresence to stop.
So so I mean, if they're lookingat kind of like pros and cons,
well, oh, if I don't tell, thenI continue to get this attention
and I get everything else thekids in my class are getting,
(42:10):
but if I do tell, then I'm goingto get in trouble, it's going
to make my parents mad at thisperson that's doing this and
it's going to cause a lot ofissues in my family.
I wonder if that's kind of beenthe case with this situation
with Mr Butts.
In the first place is that Iwonder how many victims said
(42:31):
nothing because they were, forwhatever reason, were, afraid
they were going to get introuble, didn't want the gifts
to stop, something like thatthey didn't say anything and he
didn't further pursue it.
But, like in this case, she gotpregnant and they were trying
to dissolve the pregnancy, butthen I mean, it sounds like that
(42:51):
it went wrong as far as that.
He just got rid of her, got ridof the problem.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
And that's unfortunately how I think a lot
of them end is the groomer iseither under suspicion or, in
this case, nazia got pregnant,and then the groomer has to
quote unquote get rid of theproblem.
That's why it's so important tosee the warning signs, to know
(43:19):
what to watch for.
So many people don't know whatto watch for, and it's a touchy
subject.
It is a very touchy anddisturbing topic, but it's one
that cannot be ignored and Ithink so many people just don't
wanna talk about it.
It's just too disturbing totalk about and while it is
(43:39):
disturbing to talk about, it'svery want to talk about it.
It's just too disturbing totalk about and while it is
disturbing to talk about, it'svery important to talk about so
that everyone knows the warningsigns.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Well, and this isn't like the typical of how a
grooming situation ends.
What typically happens is thatit's almost like and again, this
is just what I've seen in myexperience of counseling People
are living with this for years,that something has happened to
them when they were a child,traumatic experience within the
(44:09):
family and they tell nobody andthey are living with what
happened and as they get olderthey realize that this was
something that shouldn't havehappened.
I've seen in cases where they dotry to reach out to parents and
again, as I was saying earlier,you know, our brains don't want
to go there.
(44:29):
The mom wouldn't want to thinkthat her brother could be
capable of doing this to herchild.
Just an example.
So they will, they'll try toexcuse it away and I mean I
don't know how many times thatI've seen that happen that the
kids had tried to tell theparents and they didn't believe
(44:51):
them.
They thought that they werejust trying to get attention or
something like that Doesn'tnormally end in death from the
groomer.
It can lead to things likesuicide or any kind of
depression, anxiety, things ofthat nature.
But I've seen so many peoplelive with this for years, of
this traumatic experience.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I think more times, when it does lead in death, it
is someone that was doing thegrooming who was originally more
detached from the child.
A lot of times I hear about themother's boyfriend or the uncle
.
I mean, yes, this guy was anuncle, but he was kind of I
(45:32):
don't know if he was married tothe aunt or just like baby's
daddy type thing but he hadaccess to her.
He wasn't attached to her, thatwas clear.
And so I think so many times itis like you hear about the
mother's boyfriend grooming thechild and the mother doesn't
want to believe that herboyfriend would do something and
(45:52):
even if, a lot of times, evenif she does believe that she
just turns, turns the other waybecause she may be fearful of
the boyfriend or she may feeldependent on him financially or
something of that nature, and soshe's letting this abuse happen
(46:12):
by pretending that it's nothappening.
There's so many situations thatit's not just all black and
white.
I know that everybody has adifferent situation, but I did
want to make those signs andwhat to look for known so that
people can watch for that.
Naziah Harris's cousin Kiwanahad a nickname for her.
(46:35):
She referred to her as PrettyEyes because of how beautiful
they were.
Before Jarvis Butt'sarraignment, wayne County
Prosecutor Kim Worthy spoke tothe public standing in front of
(46:55):
the last known photo of Harrissmiling and waving at the camera
in her classroom Quote she issmiling and waving and saying
hello.
Little did she know that shewas really saying goodbye.
You look at that face and youcannot see the horrors that
she's gone through in her shortlife the exploitation, the
molestation, the sexual abuseand the pregnancy.
(47:18):
As I mentioned earlier, naziahHarris is considered to be
deceased.
However, a body has not beenfound.
Harris is five foot two inchestall and weighs approximately
130 pounds.
Her hair was tied into two pumpballs when she was last seen
and she was wearing a light bluejean shirt, blue jeans, a pink
(47:42):
and white top, black coat with afur collar and blue and white
Nike tennis shoes.
Her clothing had been foundnear the river, as mentioned
earlier.
Also, if you have anyinformation regarding the
disappearance of Naziah Harris,any information regarding the
disappearance of Naziah Harris,please contact the Detroit
(48:03):
Police Department's Major CrimesDivision at area code
313-596-2260 or Crime Stoppersat 800 SPEAK3-2587.
Callers can remain anonymousand a cash reward of up to
(48:24):
$2,500 is being offered forinformation leading to her
whereabouts.
Thank you for listening toanother episode of Gone in a
Blink.
If you like our show, pleaseconsider giving us a five-star
review on Apple Podcasts, and wewould certainly love for you to
follow us on any of our socialmedia sites and I will have
(48:45):
those posted in our show notes.
And if you have an idea for ashow or if you have a loved one
who is missing and would like usto cover their case, drop us an
email at goneinablinkpod atgmailcom.
And please remember, be safe,be smart and try not to blink.
When you're 13 years old, it's easy to place your
trust in people who seem kind orthose who seem to understand
whatever it is you may be goingthrough.
The child may be lavished withfancy gifts or the promise to be
their escape from an unhappyhome life.
Sometimes it's innocent, butsometimes it's deadly.
(00:35):
It's called grooming, and thenumber one goal of a groomer is
to gain access to what you lovemost your child.
They start by gaining yourchild's trust.
Then they work to gain yours.
When 13-year-old Naziah Harrisbegan talking to 41-year-old
(00:58):
Jarvis Butts, she thought it wasjust playful flirting until the
text messages started gettingvery inappropriate.
Jarvis soon gained Naziah'strust and what she thought was
innocent fun in the beginningwould take her down a much
(01:18):
darker path that would end youngNaziah's life far too soon.
This is the case of NaziahHarris and this is Gone in a
Blink.
Hey, true crime fans, I'm yourhost, heather, and I'm danielle.
(01:49):
Welcome to episode 27 of gonein a blink.
Halloween is almost here andthere is a lot going on with
fall festivals and halloweenparties.
And, danielle, have you been toany halloween parties this year
?
You?
Speaker 1 (02:04):
mean the one I had at my house.
Other than that, no.
Speaker 2 (02:09):
I myself have been to one so far and it was a lot of
fun.
I dressed up as a chick fromthe 80s and my husband dressed
up as one of the guys from RunDMC, with gold chains and the
big floppy hat bucket hat, Iguess they call it and so it was
a lot of fun.
And my kids were Freddy Krueger, and I really have no idea what
(02:35):
my son was.
To be quite honest with you,some type of creepy monster guy
in a onesie, if that makes anysense.
Speaker 1 (02:44):
Well, what we've kind of been doing is starting to
watch spooky movies at home.
The other night my olderdaughter and I went to our
city's symphony and they wereshowing the original Psycho and
they did the music.
So the symphony did the musicwhile the movie is playing.
I had never seen the originalPsycho, so it was quite the
(03:07):
treat.
That's pretty cool.
Speaker 2 (03:09):
I would have liked to have seen that.
So today's case is one thatevery parent should listen to,
especially those of youngerschool-aged kids.
In the age of social media,every day, child predators are
learning new ways to gain accessto children.
Sometimes, however, thepredator is someone you already
(03:30):
know.
That was true in the case we'retalking about today, the case
of 13-year-old Naziah Harris.
So if you're ready, let's jumpright in.
Naziah Harris was a 13-year-oldstudent who attended JE Clark
Preparatory Academy in Detroit,michigan.
She grew up in Detroit andlived with her grandmother,
(03:52):
annette Harris.
On the afternoon of January 9th2024, at around 2.50 pm, naziah
was seen getting off her schoolbus near the intersection of
Cornwall and Three Mile Drive.
Her grandmother had beenexpecting her home soon after.
However, naziah never made ithome.
Extreme worry began to set inas the hours ticked by without
(04:16):
any word from Naziah.
The following day, when Naziahstill hadn't come home, the
family reported her missing tothe Detroit Public School
Community District and theybegan initial investigation.
They brought in US Marshals tobegin the search, and I thought
that this was a little strange,and maybe it's really not that
(04:37):
strange and I just had neverheard of it.
But why would Naziah'sdisappearance be reported to the
school district and not thepolice department?
The Detroit Police Departmentdid not take over the
investigation until February13th of 2024.
So is this normal practice fora school district to investigate
a missing persons case?
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Yeah, that doesn't sound like it.
That sounds very odd to me.
How many days was that inbetween when school district was
notified versus the police gotinvolved?
Speaker 2 (05:08):
We're talking January 9th when she went missing and
it was reported the followingday, so January 10th to February
13th, so just a little over onemonth, and I don't know if the
police department was notnotified.
But it was the Detroit PublicSchools Community District that
(05:32):
led the investigation and I cansee if it's something that may
have happened on school groundsor something internally within
the school itself.
But for the police departmentnot to have taken the main part
in the investigation until morethan a month after her
disappearance is just crazy tome.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
If my child was missing didn't come home.
That's the first people thatI'm calling is the police
department, not the schooldistrict.
Speaker 2 (06:01):
Well, exactly.
So I don't know how things areexactly ran in Detroit.
I don't quite know what thatsetup is with the community
school district versus thepolice department, but if any of
our listeners do have insighton that, I would love to hear
more about that.
So what I'm understanding fromreports that I have found is
(06:24):
that it was up to the schooldistrict to turn the
investigation over to the policedepartment and they took more
than one month, like I mentioned, to do that.
But there were also reportsthat on January 14th 2024,
authorities searched the entirearea where Harris was last seen
with the help of police dogs andvolunteers.
(06:45):
So police were involved in thesearch, but the actual
investigation was not theirs atthat time.
So it's kind of confusingreally.
So during the search inmid-January, authorities
involved in the case were nocloser to finding Naziah than
they were when they firststarted searching.
And once the police took overthe investigation in
(07:08):
mid-February, that's really whenthings started to amp up.
On February 14th 2024, policesearched a neighborhood near
Garland and Shoemaker and byFebruary 20th police made the
announcement that they wereinterviewing suspects in
Naziah's disappearance.
Three months later, on May 7th2024, it was reported that
(07:32):
authorities had named a suspectand that he was currently
incarcerated at the Wayne CountyJail.
Then, four months after that,on September 26th 2024, after
eight months of investigatingwitnesses and sifting through
evidence, police finally hadenough to arrest 41-year-old
(07:55):
Jarvis Butts and his last nameseems to be quite fitting he was
charged with first-degreemurder, child sexual abuse
activity and second-degreecriminal sexual conduct.
In Naziah's case, hisarraignment was set for the
following day, on September 27th.
As it turns out, butts was nostranger to Naziah.
(08:18):
He was, in fact, the father ofone of Naziah's cousins and,
according to prosecutors, theabuse that Naziah endured from
Butts began as early as 2022.
You know?
Speaker 1 (08:30):
with a lot of the crimes that we cover on this
podcast.
A lot of times it takes so longfor them to have a conviction
and to go through that process,but it seems pretty quickly that
they knew that Butts wasinvolved in some way.
Speaker 2 (08:47):
Yeah, I think that they really.
They had a lot of red flags.
I know that the family knew,obviously knew him.
He was the father of one of thecousins or a few of the cousins
, so he was in the family andthey were very weary of him and
I'll report on that later, butthere was some red flags.
(09:10):
So, as I mentioned, in 2022 iswhen the abuse began and it was
then that Butts began sendingNaziah explicit text messages.
It was at that time also thathe encouraged her to send him
sexual photos of herself as well.
So this all began two yearsprior to her disappearance.
(09:31):
So at that time, naziah wasjust 11 years old.
So in September of 2023, it wasdiscovered that Naziah sent
Butts a text message telling himthat she had not had her period
.
By November, butts was madequite aware that Naziah was
pregnant and at the time of herdisappearance, it was reported
(09:52):
that she was looking to get anabortion.
Text messages show that Buttshad been searching for
information online aboutabortions, abortion pills and
drinking red antifreeze.
Authorities sifted throughcountless hours of witness
statements, surveillance footage, text messages, medical records
(10:13):
and police reports.
As reported by CBS News, policewent through 111 gigabytes of
video, 506 gigabytes of phonemessage exchanges and 16
gigabytes of documents.
Text messages show that Harrissent a message to Butts from her
tablet indicating that theywere planning to meet up.
(10:36):
On the afternoon of January 9thAfter school she met up with
Butts and one of his co-workersat Butts Auto Repair Shop, and
after that they drove to a towncalled Ipsy.
Before returning to Detroit,where Butts checked into a hotel
room at 9.30 pm, naziah was notwith him, and this is the last
(10:58):
time anyone has seen Naziah.
The following day, butts wastracked to the Rouge River in
Detroit.
There they recovered theclothes that Naziah was wearing
on the day she disappeared.
Speaker 1 (11:11):
I don't know if you have anything on it.
I'd be interested to know kindof the family dynamic, if
Naziah's father was involved inher life, or how home life was.
Do you have?
Speaker 2 (11:23):
anything on that.
There wasn't a whole lot aboutthat, but I do know that her
mother couldn't care for herwhen she was little.
So Naziah was living with hergrandmother.
Her grandmother had officiallyadopted her and there was no
mention of Naziah's biologicalfather.
So I don't like to theorize,but it didn't sound like he was
(11:47):
in the picture.
From everything that I hadgathered, she had her
grandmother and she had heraunts and cousins and things of
that nature.
I'm not even sure if Naziah hada sibling.
There wasn't any reports that Ifound on that either.
Speaker 1 (12:02):
So why I ask that is because in my line of work I
deal with this more than I'dlike, and so what happens a lot
of times is these young girls orpre adolescent time, that
they're kind of looking for thatattention, not in their mind at
first, not necessarily thatattention, you know, of any kind
(12:24):
of sexual or anything like that, depending on what they've
already been exposed to, butmore like that father figure
attention.
This butts guy is making thefirst move, so she's looking for
that attention really, you know, from the father figure
standpoint.
But then butts gonna call theshots shots.
So he's looked at as the male.
(12:45):
So if he is presenting her ortrying to to groom her thinking
with the suggestion of sexualphotos or acting out in that way
, it's almost like because shewants that attention so much she
doesn't want that attention toto go away, so she, she goes
along with it, even though shemay feel like that that isn't
(13:08):
exactly right, but she doesn'tknow for sure.
So that's kind of what I sawhere.
Now his defense would probablybe oh, it was consensual.
Have you ever heard that instinking media or whatever, that
the grown man tries to convince, or that's his defensive?
Oh, that, that she wanted it an11 year old girl, so this was
(13:32):
totally driven by butts.
I'm wondering, just as we'regetting further into this, if
that's maybe why the family knewthat he had a tendency for this
.
It doesn't just start one day.
There could have been others inthe family knew that he had a
tendency for this.
It doesn't just start one day.
There could have been others inthe family that something
similar has happened like thisand the family was trying to
protect him.
(13:52):
That could be why they went tothe school district and they
were investigating first and notthe police.
So I mean, it's just as we'reunraveling this.
It's definitely like a groomingsituation.
Speaker 2 (14:08):
This is a classic grooming situation, and we will
talk a little bit later in thisepisode about what to look for
when you suspect that someone'sgrooming or not, even when you
suspect it, because it can be sosubtle, but I don't know how
subtle it was in this case.
So prosecutor Kim Worthy statedthat there was an overwhelming
(14:34):
amount of evidence to suggestthat Naziah Harris is no longer
alive, even though a body hasnever been found.
Butts was arraigned inSeptember 2024 in the 36th
District Court on one count ofmurder, six counts of sexual
assault and one count of childsexual abuse material relating
(14:56):
to the case of Naziah Harris.
Butts is also being charged forthe sexual abuse of two other
underage girls and, according toWayne County Prosecutor Kim
Worthy, the two other girls wereunder the age of 13 at the time
the offenses took place and areseparate from Harris's case.
It was reported that one of thegirls was assaulted by Butts
(15:19):
from April 2012 to April 2014.
That victim is now 20 years old.
The other victim was assaultedby Butts from July 2015 to July
2017.
His charge in that case is onecount of second degree criminal
sexual conduct with a childunder the age of 13.
(15:41):
And that victim is just now 13years old.
So that means that back in 2015, that little girl was only four
years old.
So he has a past, he has ahistory of doing this, and
prosecutor Kim Worthy was quotedas saying quote Mr Butts
(16:02):
targeted and befriended women tohave sexual relationships with
their young daughters.
He would have relationships withtheir mothers, but his true
desire was to have sex withtheir young daughters.
That's what the evidence willshow.
Unquote.
Worthy referred to Butts asquote a classic expert groomer
and pedophile.
(16:22):
Unquote.
According to an articlepublished by Fox 2 Detroit,
naziah's cousin Kawana told thenews outlet that she and other
family members were very wearyof Jarvis Butts and had
mentioned it to Child ProtectiveServices as well as the police.
So they knew of Butts and itsounds like they suspected, or
(16:43):
maybe flat out knew, that he wasinteracting with Naziah, and
why that I'm not quite sure.
The logistics of you knoweverything that was going on, so
I don't want to, you know putthem out there and say why
didn't, why didn't you stop this?
Because it's easy for me to sithere and say that when I'm not
(17:04):
in the situation.
So there's a lot that goes intoit and he he may have even
gained the trust of most of thefamily some way.
I don't know.
It's a.
It's a really tough pill toswallow.
Speaker 1 (17:15):
Well.
I think, in general, I mean anykind of ethnic group you come
from.
You know family's everythingand you don't want to believe
that your family one is going tohurt people in general but to
hurt somebody within the family.
So a lot of times, like kind ofour brains will try to excuse
it away so that we cancomprehend and not think the
(17:37):
worst that.
Oh, you know, yeah, it's kindof weird that they're texting
back and forth, but I'm sureit's nothing type of thing.
Now, unfortunately, if somebodywas paying attention and
looking over the text then maybethey they would have seen that
exactly.
We don't want to speculatebecause we're not in that
(17:57):
position, but I mean that's kindof the things that I've seen
versus they want to protecttheir family, they feel like
that within the family they cantake care of it instead of
getting the police involved.
Speaker 2 (18:11):
So this brings me to the topic of child grooming and
the warning signs that everyparent should watch out for.
In an age where underageactivity is surging on social
media sites such as TikTok andFacebook, instagram, twitter,
snapchat and many, many more,more and more children are being
(18:33):
groomed, and the internet isthe easiest way to do it.
Hiding behind a computer screenallows the perpetrator to lie
about their age, their looks,their financial status, pretty
much anything.
According to an article inPsychology Today, sexual
grooming is defined as thedeceptive process by which a
(18:55):
would-be abuser, prior to thecommission of sexual abuse,
selects a victim, gains accessto and isolates the minor,
develops trust with the minorand often other adults in the
minor's life, and desensitizesthe minor to sexual content and
physical contact.
(19:15):
One of the reasons whydetecting child grooming can be
difficult is because many of thebehaviors that are used by
child groomers can mimic that ofa normal, caring adult-child
interaction.
Signs are not always obvious andoftentimes the groomer is known
to the family.
The purpose of child groomingis so that the individual doing
(19:37):
the grooming can prepare thechild for a meeting.
The groomer will usemanipulation, sexual abuse and
exploitation as tactics to getwhat they want from the child.
The groomer will often exploitthe child's vulnerabilities in
order to gain trust and detachthem from their family.
Child's vulnerabilities inorder to gain trust and detach
(19:58):
them from their family.
Some of the vulnerabilitiesthat the groomer will look for
include emotional neediness,isolation, neglect and unstable
home life, as well as a lack ofparental supervision.
A groomer can be any age, race,gender or ethnicity, and it can
be someone that you already know, or they could be a total
stranger.
Child groomers are experts attheir own game, therefore making
(20:23):
the act of grooming sometimesalmost impossible to detect.
Many times, the child or theparents may not even realize
what is happening to them.
So, according to an article onthe Abuse Claims website, the
following are a list ofindicators to look out for.
Number one having a boyfriendor girlfriend who is much older
(20:48):
than them.
Speaker 1 (20:49):
I have a question on that.
Now are we talking about achild, a minor at this point,
having a boyfriend or girlfriendwho's much older than them.
So I guess what would be mucholder?
Speaker 2 (21:01):
Well, just an example If you have a 15-year-old
daughter or son and they nowhave a boyfriend that's 22 years
old, that's a big gap.
I feel like most people willknow right off on that one.
Okay, if you have a 15 year old, that's with a 17 year old, no,
(21:22):
that's not necessarily.
That's not a big gap.
But usually it's adults thatare preying on children.
So any adult that's preying onchildren like that, that's a
first red flag.
Second is being secretive abouthow they're spending their time
, including when online.
The next one is having newclothes and expensive items such
(21:45):
as a mobile phone.
Not wanting to talk about wheretheir new stuff has come from,
skipping school or sportingactivities, substance abuse like
underage, drinking or drugtaking, spending more or less
time on their phone, laptop ortablet.
Being upset, withdrawn oranxious, no longer talking to
(22:09):
you about their feelings, usinginappropriate language or
showing an understanding of sexthat's not appropriate for their
age, disappearing for longperiods with no explanation as
to where they have been.
And groomers don't alwaystarget children.
They aim at gaining the trustof the parents as well, in order
(22:31):
to lower suspicion and gaineasier access to children.
Here are the following signs tolook for that may indicate that
someone is grooming the adultwith the intention of accessing
your child.
Number one they offer tobabysit your child.
Number two they offer to takethe child on excursions or trips
(22:53):
that are away.
Number three they buy thefamily gifts.
Number four they play with yourchild and touch them in a
non-sexual way as a means ofgetting you and your child used
to physical contact.
And that's scary and I guessmaybe your radar would go off if
someone was constantly veryhandsy I know mine would,
(23:18):
because I'm not a handsy person,and definitely not with other
people's children.
So I feel like if someone wasalways had their arm around one
of my children or hugging onthem and I'm not talking about a
grandparent, although a groomercan also be a grandparent.
So it is tricky because, like Imentioned earlier, it can mimic
(23:43):
someone that is a genuinecaregiver.
That doesn't mean any harm.
Speaker 1 (23:50):
And that's what I mean.
Yes, can be so confusing,because a lot of what you're
describing can be kind oftypical in a family setting.
I mean, think about indifferent cultures where, like,
the whole family live in onehouse.
They may be a little moreaffectionate, and that doesn't
necessarily mean that there's aproblem.
(24:11):
However, what I would recommendis, if that is happening,
especially all of a sudden, toreally, as that child's parent,
to really be monitoring that.
I mean, you don't have to letthem know you're monitoring, but
just keep an eye out, Becauseyou know it's such a hard thing,
because you don't want todisclude people the aunts,
(24:31):
uncles, whatever that are justtrying to be nice.
But because of the world thatwe live in, what you're
describing is definitely redflags, and if that's something
that hasn't been in your guys'sfamily dynamic and then all of a
sudden it just is, that wouldbe a big red flag there too.
I think either way is just tobe on the side of caution and if
(24:53):
something looks weird, thenreally start to investigate to
make sure that your child issafe.
Speaker 2 (24:59):
When I think this is why so many times it goes.
It goes undetected becauseyou're not really thinking about
that.
Most people are thinking, hey,this uncle or this family friend
is, it's just innocent.
They're giving my child highfives all the time.
(25:19):
They're just giving them hugs.
It's not in a sexual way.
But they don't realize thatit's not going to start out in a
sexual manner right off the bat.
And that's part of grooming theparents as well, to gain the
trust.
And it's scary, it really is so.
Number five they oftencompliment your family and your
(25:43):
style of parenting.
Number six they try to initiatea romantic relationship with
you.
Number seven they offer tomentor or individually coach
your child.
They offer to mentor orindividually coach your child.
So there's a lot of red flagsto kind of watch for.
But even those can be verysubtle.
Speaker 1 (26:01):
And that's what makes it hard.
I mean, think about a singlemother, a single parent,
grandparent, in this situation,because you need that support.
So if you have a family memberor a close friend, whatever sex
it is is offering to help youwith your child, you're probably
going to take that and going tolike, oh I mean this seems
(26:25):
weird, but I need the help.
So I mean you could see that aswell, and that in itself can
put your child into danger.
But what is the alternative, asa single mother myself, is that
I mean you need to work, youneed to supply for your child,
and so I definitely understandbeing in that state of that.
This is very nice for them tooffer that.
(26:47):
But I think, where we have toagain side of caution, that we
wouldn't want to choose workingover something happening to our
child.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
So that's where you want to look out for those red
flags and if something doesn'tseem right, then quietly
investigating or looking, notletting the person know that
you're even kind of questioning,but just kind of silently
double checking that everythingis panning out Well exactly, and
(27:18):
I really believe that thegroomer, they're preying on a
parent that they know isvulnerable themselves by, like
you mentioned, needing to go towork, and so you're kind of
overlooking things or turning ablind eye to things that maybe
(27:41):
should be paid attention to, butbecause you have to work and
you're struggling to do this andthat you kind of just let those
red flags blow over and theyknow that that's part of their
game.
There is also five stages ofchild grooming, and so I want to
(28:01):
go over those real quick soeverybody kind of has an
understanding of just theirmentality.
I mean, it's sick, it'sextremely sick, but it's this
whole process because they haveone goal, and one goal only, and
that is to gain access to yourchild.
So stage one is victimselection, and this consists of
(28:25):
the minor is compliant andtrusting of adults.
The minor lacks confidence orhas low self-esteem.
This is all criteria for whatthey're looking for.
The minor is lonely or isolated.
The minor is troubled.
The minor is needy.
The child feels unwanted orunloved in the home.
(28:49):
The child is not close toparents or parents are not
resources for them.
The child lives with a singlemother and needs a father figure
and in this case of Naziah, shewas living with her grandmother
, so the child has a lack ofsupervision, like I mentioned
earlier, that's a big one forany groomer that's going to look
(29:12):
for a victim.
So stage two is gaining accessand isolation.
The individual would be maybeinvolved in youth serving
organizations such as a schoolor Boy Scouts, girl Scouts,
sports, anything like that.
Manipulates the family to gainaccess to the child, engages in
(29:34):
activities alone with the childand excludes adults, takes the
child for overnight stays oroutings, separates the child
from peers and family.
So the next stage, stage three,it's trust development.
The groomer will appearcharming, nice or likable to
(29:58):
everyone around them.
Has insider status or a goodreputation, like they're a
pillar of the community, whichyou see all the time especially
just an example, maybe withpriests or pastors or police
officers a pillar in thecommunity, someone that the
title alone is telling peoplehey, you can trust them, and
(30:21):
they know that and some of themwill abuse that Is affectionate
or loving with the child.
Gives the child attention,exhibits favoritism, like
special relationship with thechild, gives the child
compliments, spends time withthe child communicating, often
(30:42):
through text messaging or phonecalls, emails, things like that.
Engages in childlike activitiessuch as games, sports, music,
stuff like that.
Gives minor rewards orprivileges like toys and gifts,
money trips, things of thatnature, finally.
Money trips things of thatnature, finally.
(31:03):
Provides the child with drugsand or alcohol.
Speaker 1 (31:08):
Well, so that's where , with my line of work, I've
seen all of this and whathappens, especially when you get
adolescents or pre-adolescentsthey like the gifts, they like
the toys, so they are hesitantto say anything, so they can
have a mind of that.
Yeah, this doesn't seem right,but if I tell anybody and maybe
(31:29):
this was even the groomeractually telling them this they
get this sense.
If they tell somebody, then thegifts, the toys are going to
stop, the attention is going tostop, and so that's where it's
so hard for a child.
That is in that situation wherethey're wanting the attention
(31:51):
maybe low socioeconomic, thatthey're not getting gifts or
toys that their peers aregetting.
And then here's this personthat is providing all of this
and kind of in their mind if youput yourself in the child's
mind a bit, it's like oh, I justhave to do this and I still get
the gifts and the toys.
They're not thinking about howwrong this is, how messed up
(32:19):
that this is, that a grown adultis asking me to send nude
photos.
They're thinking more of themonetary, that the attention
that it's providing, and that'sso sad, honestly, that they're
not getting that from parents oryou know other sources, and
that's what a groomer knows, andso that's kind of what they
(32:39):
prey on.
I wonder also, though, if itcould be sometimes like like
that it's not planned out, butit just kind of happens.
Have you thought about it?
in that way, heather, you knowhow people say that, oh, it just
happened, it's just happened.
We, you know, we reallyconnected and you really love
each other as a defense.
(32:59):
But you know, sometimes Iwonder if the groomer that, yeah
, that they are attracted toyoung children and may not go
into it thinking that, oh, I'mgoing to groom so and so
specifically, but more as anopportunity of who you know in
(33:19):
the family that will presentthemselves as vulnerable and
would be more open to that kindof relationship than other
children Do you get what.
Speaker 2 (33:28):
I'm saying there, I definitely think that it's
always planned out.
That's my opinion.
I don't think that a childgroomer doesn't plan on grooming
.
I don't think that they onlyhave an attraction to children,
(33:49):
which is called pedophilia.
I don't think that they justhappen to fall in love with a
child and they're completelyinnocent and I think it's a
sickness.
I think it's definitely anillness and I think they know
it's wrong and they know that ifpeople around them notice this,
(34:12):
they're going to be in serioustrouble.
So that is why the groomingprocess even exists, in my
opinion, is because they knowthey can't just grab a random
child and say, hey, I'mattracted to you Because most
children know it's wrong as well, and I think it's a whole
(34:34):
process and the kid knows it'swrong and that's why they're
bribed with gifts and thingslike that and that's why the
people around them are alsogroomed, because everyone knows
it's wrong, even them.
So I think they go into thiswith a plan and they are,
unfortunately, very good at itand I think anyone that, like
(35:00):
I'd mentioned before, just as anexample, people of the church
or people with a title that issupposed to be trusting for
everyone, but especially forkids, when they abuse that they
know it's wrong.
It's all about the groomingprocess and how they're not able
(35:21):
to have access to thesechildren and do the things the
sick and twisted things thatthey want to do to these
children without having aprocess in place that allows
them access to these childrenand gains the trust of both the
child and the family.
Speaker 1 (35:40):
So I want to make sure that you understand what
I'm saying, because I don't wantthere to be any indication that
I'm like trying to give them anexcuse or anything like that.
What I am saying is that that Ihave seen, because of the
sickness, that the groomer usesthat as their defense that, oh,
(36:02):
it just happened, oh, we reallyconnected.
And while, yes, I think for themost part it is planned that
okay, that I mean, especially asthey get good at it, then they
are seeking out these childrenand the less they get caught,
you start to get cocky and youstart to, oh well, really to
(36:23):
seek out the children when Iguess, if you look at it at a
psychological point, yes, it's asickness, so it kind of in
their brains, at least at first.
I really do think that they gothrough this, oh it just
happened, or whatever, basicallylying to themselves.
The child, yeah, I think, justlike in this case, there's no
(36:45):
way that it started out sexual.
He gained the trust.
Oh, somebody she could talk toif you couldn't talk to parents.
I mean, even in schools weteach okay, we want you to find
a trusted adult that you cantalk to if you can't talk to
your parents, because goingthrough adolescence,
pre-adolescence, yeah, kids stoptalking to their parents
(37:10):
because they don't want to getin trouble, and it's a slippery
slope, but you do want them tofind a trusted adult.
I think it still needs to bemonitored, though, because it
can very quickly turn intosomething like that, and then
you get that defensive oh, itjust happened, we didn't mean
for it to.
And, yes, that, in my personalopinion, is a bunch of bull.
But in the same sense I meanmaybe not specifically with this
(37:33):
person, but you knew that youwere seeking that and an adult
not keeping those boundaries,that something like this, if it
wasn't quote unquote alreadyplanned could very quickly turn
into something like that becausethey're not keeping the
boundaries.
That's kind of where, even withfamily members of them coming
(37:53):
forth and offering to take careof children or buying gifts,
something like that aunts,uncles, whatever there's
boundaries, and if a parent seesthat this person is not
respecting those boundaries,then that's definitely a red
flag and things like that thatyou've mentioned that you need
to look out for so it doesn'tturn into something else.
Speaker 2 (38:15):
Well, I definitely know that nine times out of 10,
these perpetrators will use thatas a defense, saying that they
fell in love with this child andthey weren't planning it,
unless their defense is thatthey didn't do it at all.
But I definitely think thatthat is something that they try
(38:36):
and fall back on.
Their number one intention isto have a sexual relationship of
some sort with the child, and alot of times I think that's why
they end up killing them isbecause, unfortunately, in
Nazia's case, I think it couldhave very well been because she
had ended up pregnant, andthat's incredibly sad to me.
I don't know if he would havekilled her regardless of whether
(38:59):
or not she became pregnant, butthis man preyed on other
women's children as well.
So, as the prosecutor said, hisaim was, yeah, he would have a
relationship with the mother,but he really was just wanting
to have the relationship withthe daughter.
That was his aim.
So stage four is thedesensitization to sexual
(39:25):
content and physical contact.
So that includes they askquestions about the child's
sexual experience or pastrelationships.
They will talk about sexualthings they themselves have done
.
They will use inappropriatesexual language.
They will teach minors sexualeducation, use of accidental
(39:49):
touching or distraction.
While touching.
They will watch the childundress, exposes their own naked
body to the child.
They will show the minorpornography magazines, videos,
images, things of that nature.
They will be seemingly innocent, non-sexual contact, things
(40:10):
like that.
They'll tickle them, hug themsitting on the lap, just kind of
working their way up whichmakes me sick just to even talk
of that.
Working their way up, whichmakes me sick just to even talk
of that.
Desensitizes minor to the touchand increasing sexual touching.
So that was stage four.
Now stage five is the last andfinal stage.
(40:31):
It's post-abuse maintenancebehaviors.
They will tell the child not totell anyone what happened.
They will encourage secrets andsecret keeping.
They will tell the minor I loveyou or you're special, make
them feel loved.
They will give the childrewards or bribes not to tell
(40:54):
and say things.
By not telling they will avoidpunishment things.
By not telling they will avoidpunishment.
They will persuade the childthe sexual abuse was acceptable
or normal behavior.
They will provide the childwith misstated moral standards
regarding touching.
They will make the child feelresponsible for the abuse like
(41:16):
it was their fault.
They will threaten the childwith abandonment, rejection,
family breaking up if they tell.
Speaker 1 (41:24):
And that's kind of what I was saying earlier is
that the child doesn't want thatattention to stop, and then, of
course, being told by the adultthat, oh well, it's like they
changed their tune, that oh,this touching touching's okay,
but then they're saying, oh, butif you tell then it's going to
make you in trouble, and so Icould see that that would just
(41:46):
be really confusing to the child, and I mean, especially in a
low socio-economical situation,they don't want the attention to
stop, they don't want thepresence to stop.
So so I mean, if they're lookingat kind of like pros and cons,
well, oh, if I don't tell, thenI continue to get this attention
and I get everything else thekids in my class are getting,
(42:10):
but if I do tell, then I'm goingto get in trouble, it's going
to make my parents mad at thisperson that's doing this and
it's going to cause a lot ofissues in my family.
I wonder if that's kind of beenthe case with this situation
with Mr Butts.
In the first place is that Iwonder how many victims said
(42:31):
nothing because they were, forwhatever reason, were, afraid
they were going to get introuble, didn't want the gifts
to stop, something like thatthey didn't say anything and he
didn't further pursue it.
But, like in this case, she gotpregnant and they were trying
to dissolve the pregnancy, butthen I mean, it sounds like that
(42:51):
it went wrong as far as that.
He just got rid of her, got ridof the problem.
Speaker 2 (42:56):
And that's unfortunately how I think a lot
of them end is the groomer iseither under suspicion or, in
this case, nazia got pregnant,and then the groomer has to
quote unquote get rid of theproblem.
That's why it's so important tosee the warning signs, to know
(43:19):
what to watch for.
So many people don't know whatto watch for, and it's a touchy
subject.
It is a very touchy anddisturbing topic, but it's one
that cannot be ignored and Ithink so many people just don't
wanna talk about it.
It's just too disturbing totalk about and while it is
(43:39):
disturbing to talk about, it'svery want to talk about it.
It's just too disturbing totalk about and while it is
disturbing to talk about, it'svery important to talk about so
that everyone knows the warningsigns.
Speaker 1 (43:48):
Well, and this isn't like the typical of how a
grooming situation ends.
What typically happens is thatit's almost like and again, this
is just what I've seen in myexperience of counseling People
are living with this for years,that something has happened to
them when they were a child,traumatic experience within the
(44:09):
family and they tell nobody andthey are living with what
happened and as they get olderthey realize that this was
something that shouldn't havehappened.
I've seen in cases where they dotry to reach out to parents and
again, as I was saying earlier,you know, our brains don't want
to go there.
(44:29):
The mom wouldn't want to thinkthat her brother could be
capable of doing this to herchild.
Just an example.
So they will, they'll try toexcuse it away and I mean I
don't know how many times thatI've seen that happen that the
kids had tried to tell theparents and they didn't believe
(44:51):
them.
They thought that they werejust trying to get attention or
something like that Doesn'tnormally end in death from the
groomer.
It can lead to things likesuicide or any kind of
depression, anxiety, things ofthat nature.
But I've seen so many peoplelive with this for years, of
this traumatic experience.
Speaker 2 (45:10):
I think more times, when it does lead in death, it
is someone that was doing thegrooming who was originally more
detached from the child.
A lot of times I hear about themother's boyfriend or the uncle
.
I mean, yes, this guy was anuncle, but he was kind of I
(45:32):
don't know if he was married tothe aunt or just like baby's
daddy type thing but he hadaccess to her.
He wasn't attached to her, thatwas clear.
And so I think so many times itis like you hear about the
mother's boyfriend grooming thechild and the mother doesn't
want to believe that herboyfriend would do something and
(45:52):
even if, a lot of times, evenif she does believe that she
just turns, turns the other waybecause she may be fearful of
the boyfriend or she may feeldependent on him financially or
something of that nature, and soshe's letting this abuse happen
(46:12):
by pretending that it's nothappening.
There's so many situations thatit's not just all black and
white.
I know that everybody has adifferent situation, but I did
want to make those signs andwhat to look for known so that
people can watch for that.
Naziah Harris's cousin Kiwanahad a nickname for her.
(46:35):
She referred to her as PrettyEyes because of how beautiful
they were.
Before Jarvis Butt'sarraignment, wayne County
Prosecutor Kim Worthy spoke tothe public standing in front of
(46:55):
the last known photo of Harrissmiling and waving at the camera
in her classroom Quote she issmiling and waving and saying
hello.
Little did she know that shewas really saying goodbye.
You look at that face and youcannot see the horrors that
she's gone through in her shortlife the exploitation, the
molestation, the sexual abuseand the pregnancy.
(47:18):
As I mentioned earlier, naziahHarris is considered to be
deceased.
However, a body has not beenfound.
Harris is five foot two inchestall and weighs approximately
130 pounds.
Her hair was tied into two pumpballs when she was last seen
and she was wearing a light bluejean shirt, blue jeans, a pink
(47:42):
and white top, black coat with afur collar and blue and white
Nike tennis shoes.
Her clothing had been foundnear the river, as mentioned
earlier.
Also, if you have anyinformation regarding the
disappearance of Naziah Harris,any information regarding the
disappearance of Naziah Harris,please contact the Detroit
(48:03):
Police Department's Major CrimesDivision at area code
313-596-2260 or Crime Stoppersat 800 SPEAK3-2587.
Callers can remain anonymousand a cash reward of up to
(48:24):
$2,500 is being offered forinformation leading to her
whereabouts.
Thank you for listening toanother episode of Gone in a
Blink.
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