EP# 291: Attachment Theory Changes Everything: A Conversation with Elizabeth Gillette of Heirloom Counseling

What makes Elizabeth Gillette with Heirloom Counseling  a good neighbor?

Celebrating a decade of therapeutic practice, Elizabeth Gillette of Heirloom Counseling shares her compelling journey from personal struggle to professional success in the mental health field. After overcoming Hodgkin's lymphoma at age 21—a diagnosis that temporarily derailed her graduate studies—Elizabeth channeled her experience into developing a unique approach to therapy focused on attachment and relational work.

What makes Elizabeth's perspective so refreshing is her candid take on the therapeutic process. She challenges the popular notion that healing follows a tidy trajectory with Instagram-worthy journaling and self-help books. Instead, she validates the messy, uncomfortable aspects of growth: "If you're uncomfortable, you're doing it right." This honesty provides crucial reassurance to those in the thick of their healing journeys who might otherwise feel they're failing when transformation doesn't come easily.

The conversation takes a profound turn when Elizabeth shares her core belief that "all of the work that you do on yourself radiates out to every aspect of your life." This powerful ripple effect means even small steps toward healing can transform relationships, work, and overall well-being. As a mother of two young boys balancing professional demands with family life in the beautiful landscape of Western North Carolina, Elizabeth embodies the integration she helps clients achieve. For listeners seeking support with relationships or self-understanding, Elizabeth's resources extend beyond traditional therapy to online courses, nearly 200 free blog posts, and her workbook "Attachment Theory for Couples." Whether you're ready to begin therapy or simply exploring tools for better relationships, Elizabeth's compassionate approach offers a path forward without judgment or pressure.

To learn more about Heirloom Counseling go to:

https://www.heirloomcounseling.com/

Heirloom Counseling

[phone]

Episode Transcript

Speaker 1 (00:00):
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place
where local businesses andneighbors come together.
Here's your host, Skip Monty.

Speaker 2 (00:11):
Well, hello everyone and welcome to the Good Neighbor
Podcast live coveringTri-Cities in Western North
Carolina.
I hope everybody's doing well.
I am super excited to have avery special guest with us in
the studio for the first time,and I'm sure you will be too as
well, because today I have thepleasure of introducing your
good neighbor, ms ElizabethGillette, who is the owner

(00:33):
operator of Heirloom Counseling.
Elizabeth, welcome to the show.

Speaker 3 (00:38):
Thank you so much for having me.
I'm really glad to be here.

Speaker 2 (00:40):
Well, we're thrilled to have you, like I said, really
excited to learn all about yourpractice and what you do.
So if you don't mind, why don'tyou kick us off by telling us
about your business?

Speaker 3 (00:49):
Sure, so I am the owner of Heirloom Counseling,
which is a therapy practice.
I'm based here in Asheville,north Carolina, but I operate
throughout the state.
I also have a coaching practice, which is Elizabeth Gillette
Coaching and Consulting.
It's kind of an offshoot of thetherapy business, but it allows
me to practice the work that Ido outside of the state.

(01:12):
So I've been doing therapy for15 years and my business
actually turns 10 years oldtomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:20):
Tomorrow.

Speaker 3 (01:21):
Tomorrow.

Speaker 2 (01:22):
Wow, well, congratulations, happy
anniversary, 10 years.
That's nothing to sneeze at, Iknow it feels like a big deal.

Speaker 3 (01:28):
I'm really proud of it.

Speaker 2 (01:29):
It's a huge deal.
Obviously something's workingright.

Speaker 3 (01:32):
Yes so speaking of 10 years.
How did you get into thecounseling business?
Yeah, so I've had lots of myown sort of ups and downs
throughout my life and therapywas really, really helpful and
supportive for me.
And when I was in undergrad, Iwas working with some advocacy

(01:54):
groups, some activism groups,and I just realized that I
really wanted to do this workwith my life, and so I graduated
in 2010 from the University ofWashington in Seattle and I was
doing a lot of family work earlyon, and then, when I began my
own private practice is when Ireally shifted gears and started
moving into doing attachmentand relational work, which is my

(02:18):
specialty now.

Speaker 2 (02:20):
Attachment.

Speaker 3 (02:21):
Relational work.

Speaker 2 (02:22):
Relational work.
Attachment relational work.

Speaker 3 (02:23):
I really focus on helping people have healthier
relationships, being able tocommunicate more effectively,
understanding themselves better,so that they can show up with
integrity in their relationshipsawesome.

Speaker 2 (02:37):
Well, you said uh, you graduated from washington
state.
Are you originally fromwashington?

Speaker 3 (02:41):
university of washington and seattle, so I'm
originally from michigan.
I went to U of M for undergradand then, yeah, I had a big
adventure and moved out toWashington for my graduate
degree.

Speaker 2 (02:51):
Oh wow, it's interesting.
I've interviewed a few folks inthe last several days that
moved to Asheville or WesternNorth Carolina from the Pacific
Northwest Interesting.

Speaker 3 (03:02):
Yeah, I feel like it's a good jump.
You know I loved it there forso many reasons, and the rain
was just really tough.

Speaker 2 (03:13):
Yeah, that's what everybody says.
It's just a little bitdepressing but awesome.
Well, speaking of, uh,attachment and relational
therapy, what are some myths ormisconceptions in your industry?

Speaker 3 (03:25):
Yeah, I think the biggest one, especially now that
popular culture is pretty intotherapy and healing and working
on yourself.
I think there's a misconceptionthat healing and therapy work
is.
You can kind of wrap it up in abow and it's like you have a
pretty journal and you read thebooks and you go to therapy and

(03:46):
everything's great and you feelso much better.
And in my experience this typeof work can be really messy, it
can be really difficult, it canreally kind of turn your world
upside down while you're in theprocess of trying to make things
better.
So I think you know, I wouldsay that if you're somebody
who's kind of in the midst ofthat, you're doing it right.

(04:07):
If you're uncomfortable, you'redoing it right.
I think there's a lot ofmisconceptions that it's just
something that you just kind ofcheck off on your list and then
you're done with it.

Speaker 2 (04:16):
And then you're fixed .

Speaker 3 (04:18):
Exactly, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 (04:19):
Not the case.
Not the case.
We're all working on it,exactly, yeah.

Speaker 3 (04:21):
Yeah, not the case.
Not the case.
We're all working on it, right,we're all learning.

Speaker 2 (04:24):
Amen, it's a journey.

Speaker 3 (04:25):
Yes, it is.

Speaker 2 (04:27):
So outside of work, elizabeth, you live in a
beautiful place part of thecountry.

Speaker 3 (04:37):
What do you like to do for fun?
Yeah, so I have two small kids,which I think really informs
what I'm doing outside of work.
I have two boys, five and ahalf and two and a half, so we
spend lots of time outside.
We love being in our garden, welove going for walks, we love
hiking, we like playing in thecreek, so we're doing lots of
outside stuff.
That's kind of their favoritething.
I also love writing, I love toembroider and I love spending

(05:05):
time in my community.
We have a little garden club inour neighborhood this summer
and it's just been so fun to gettogether with our neighbors and
connect around like our verysort of hyper local place.

Speaker 2 (05:18):
Very cool, love it, love it.
Two boys, huh, they keep youbusy oh the understatement of
all time.
Wow.
Well, I grew up, I had abrother growing up, an older
brother, and he was 22 monthsolder than I.

Speaker 3 (05:35):
And boy.

Speaker 2 (05:36):
We got into a lot of trouble.

Speaker 3 (05:38):
Oh sweet mom.

Speaker 2 (05:41):
Yeah, bless my mom's heart, bless your heart, so
let's switch gears.
Can you describe a hardship ora life challenge that you've
overcome and how it's made youstronger in the end?

Speaker 3 (05:55):
I love this question For me.
For me I've had a few, but Ithink the biggest one when I was
21, I graduated from collegeand I got diagnosed with cancer.
Just a shock, obviously, as youcan imagine, I was getting ready
to leave Michigan and move toSeattle for graduate school and

(06:17):
I was diagnosed with Hodgkin'slymphoma and so I had to have
six rounds of chemotherapy, Ihad to have radiation, I lost
all my hair.
So it was a.
It was a very big challenge andmy family was just so wonderful
.
They took care of me throughoutall of it.
My friends were amazing.
My community really surroundedme and supported me during that

(06:39):
time, and I think it also, youknow, obviously everything in my
life was delayed, but I thinkit all really informs how I show
up in my work now and really inevery aspect of my life.

Speaker 2 (06:54):
Wow, wow, but you look great.
Now, apparently, everything'sgood.

Speaker 3 (06:58):
Yes, all is well.
All is well, that's awesome,that's awesome.

Speaker 2 (07:02):
Well, elizabeth, if you could think of one thing
that you would like ourlisteners to remember about you
and about heirloom counseling,what would that be?

Speaker 3 (07:14):
I mean, I think the biggest thing would be that I am
here to support you in the workthat you want to do and that
all of the work that you do onyourself, in therapy, in your
relationships, I really trulybelieve that it radiates out to
every aspect of your life and so, no matter what you're doing,
even if it feels small, you know, we're kind of pulling the

(07:35):
threads and it's connected toeverything.

Speaker 2 (07:37):
So, um kind of trust in your own, in your own process
kind of trust in your own, inyour own process, and don't be
afraid to ask for help.
That's very important.
Do not be afraid to ask forhelp.
You know it's interesting whatyou were saying.
I've always I've read aboutpositivity and I've talked to a
lot of counselors andinterviewed a lot of therapists

(07:58):
and they all talk about howpositivity being not not
toxically positive, but beingpositive radiates into you.
Know, like when you're thinkinggood things are going to happen
, good things happen.
When you think bad things aregoing to happen, bad things
start happening.
Yeah, you know, so do you agreewith that?

Speaker 3 (08:17):
Yeah, we're sort of designed to, you know, as human
beings we're designed to seekout things that feel sort of
unsafe or dangerous, becausewe're wired to survive, and so I
think it's one of those thingswhere, when we create a sense of
safety in our bodies, we'rethen able to move into that
place where we can see thepositive things and we can be

(08:39):
more grateful and we can startbuilding up from there.

Speaker 2 (08:43):
Wow, awesome.
I love it.
I love it and, and agree, and,and believe that with all my
heart.
So, elizabeth, if any of ourlisteners are interested,
intrigued, need help, would liketo chat with you.
How can they learn more?

Speaker 3 (09:00):
Yeah.
So my therapy website isheirloomcounselingcom, and even
if you're not quite ready tostart therapy, I have probably
close to 200 free blog posts onmy website that are all about
relationships, attachment theory, evidence-based practices, ways
that you can improve how youfeel in your body, how you can

(09:23):
feel in your relationships.
I also have a couple of onlinecourses, um, that are self-paced
, if folks are interested inthat Um, and then, if you are
outside of the state of NorthCarolina, you can check out my
coaching website, which iselizabethgillettecom.
I also have a book calledattachment theory for couples

(09:45):
and it's a workbook and you cando it with in a relationship
with a partner or you can do iton your own.
It's lots of really practicaltools and strategies to learn
about yourself and and grow yourself-awareness.

Speaker 2 (09:58):
Awesome, awesome.
Well, elizabeth, I can't tellyou how much I appreciate you
taking time out of your busyschedule, especially with two
boys.
You get that and let us knowabout you and your mission and
your journey and your practiceand we wish you and your family
and your clients and businessall the best moving forward.

Speaker 3 (10:21):
Thank you so much.
It was really lovely to talkwith you today.

Speaker 2 (10:24):
Well, it was lovely to talk with you as well, and
we'd love to to have you backsometime Great.

Speaker 3 (10:29):
Thank you.

Speaker 1 (10:31):
Thank you for listening to the good neighbor
podcast.
To nominate your favorite localbusinesses to be featured on
the show, go to GNP trycitiescom.
That's gnptry-citiescom, orcall 423-719-5873.