Episode 43 | METAL SONIC IS A PERFECT DESIGN

Raising of Chicago: During the 1850s and 1860s, engineers carried out a piecemeal raising of the grade of central Chicago to lift the city out of its low-lying swampy ground. Buildings and sidewalks were physically raised on jackscrews. The work was funded by private property owners and public funds.

Archic Comics' Sonic The Hedgehog Knuckles' Chaotix Special

00:00 Intro

04:05 The Chaos Effect

53:05 Tag! Your [sic] It!

58:51 The Hunt Is On

01:16:04 Outro-----Gotta Talk Fast is an oral review of Archie Comics' Sonic the Hedgehog. Way past cool.LINKS: https://gottatalkfast.com/

Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Got to talk fast. Got to talk fast.
Got to talk faster, faster, faster.
Got to talk fast. Welcome to an oral review of
Archie Comics Sonic the Hedgehogreminding you to check for
maintenance on your utilities and essential appliances, gas,
electric, water, power, ventilation, fridge and freezer

(00:21):
windows, doors, locks, fences, gates and more.
It isn't cheap, so make sure to prioritize.
Time is precious, so prepare before situations arrive.
Did you not prepare? So my.
This feels very personal, that'swhy I'm asking.

(00:42):
Almost always you can correlate something like why that popped
into my head, why I wrote that is my I, my washing machine
declared war on me like a month ago, and just how much of A fuck
you to my life it has been, how upending it has been to my
schedule specifically right. Like are you still dealing with?

(01:03):
Yes, because now there's a new problem like I replaced the so
the drain pump was an issue, wasthe issue.
This is Sonic's homeowner talk. Yeah, honestly.
So no one can relate the. I know one listener can and
everyone else is far too young. Yep.
So my dryer stacked on top of mywasher, which is what you want

(01:23):
to avoid generally, but unfortunately my situation
necessitates that. So I had to call a friend, take
the dryer off of the washer, andthen diagnose the whole
situation go. It's probably the drain pump
again. So I have to, and the, the drain
pump is at the bottom of the washer and there's no service
because it's designed stupid. There's no service, you know,
panel to get into the drain pumpimmediately.

(01:44):
You have to take it down from the top to sides, work around to
the bottom, etcetera. And it's a whole thing.
And I, I, I'm a homeowner, but it's not like a big place.
So it's like I got a curve around the hallways and stuff
and like it's a circular pattern.
So my washing machine is effectively blocking that whole
flow. Anyway, I replaced the drain

(02:07):
pump. My problem was that I so I did
this once before my drain pump was the problem and I replaced
it with a cheap part from Amazon.
I did not know it was the cheaper part at the time.
Foolish me. This is my first time doing
stuff like that. New homeowner or first time
homeowner I should say I was. Going to say new.
Five years, that's not too long.I replaced it.

(02:30):
What you have to get, if you're getting parts, get them
manufacturer direct. So it, it does cost more, but it
doesn't fuck up your life for a whole month like this.
Arguably more expensive in otherways.
So anyway, I, I got it $80.00 with the shipping.
So I was like, all right, but atleast I won't have to do all
this again. It's going to be more reliable.

(02:50):
And then as I replace it, get itall going, OK, it's good.
Now the intake water is leaking on the valve.
So I have to do all that shit, potentially call a plumber
because now this is kind of bigger like I don't know, I
don't want to do, I want to do it properly.
So I don't know, I'm very fortunate this is where my
privileges play in. I'm very fortunate that my
parents live close by and I can go to their place and do my

(03:13):
laundry so and not have to pay the exorbitant money to do all
that laundry like, you know, 5-6different loads because it's
been piling up anyway. Check your shit now, right?
Check for maintenance. Clean out your your ducks, your
ducts. And your ducks.
Yes, exactly. Clean them down.
Oh no, actually. OK seriously.

(03:33):
Check for check for vaccinationsfor your pets.
Have they had a check up in a while?
Are they chipped? Spend the money on that stuff.
Nailed. So that's why I only wash
clothes with my hands. I refuse to use machinery, you

(03:55):
know. Looking at your sink, it does
look like it's a fucking messy. Yeah, well, I'm sorry, I don't
own a dishwasher 'cause I'm poor.
Dishwasher for your clothes? OK, we are reading Knuckles
Chaotic Special so I'm assuming this is in tandem.
I didn't look this up, but I'm just assuming that it's in

(04:15):
tandem with the release of Knuckles Chaotics on the Sega
32. XI didn't look it up, but you
know what I'm going to say yes. Especially since it says Sega
32X Game Adapter. Yep, that's I'm reading that.
Yeah, I saw that as I was talking.
I. I bought a 32 XA while ago.
OK. I played about 10 minutes of

(04:38):
this game and hated it. Yeah, that's that seems to be
the vibe from everyone else thatI've seen talk about it.
So one day we'll play it on thischannel though, and.
We'll also hate it. Well.
I'll hate it again, but in completion.
OK, lovely. You hated it to completion.
OK, so the Chaos Effect Part 1 Script by Mike Kanternovich and

(04:58):
Ken Penders, penciled by Art Mahwinney.
Here we go. Tall trees, lush fields of
grass, cool, clear crystal streams of water.
These are but a few of the elements that comprise the
floating island, giving the impression of an unending
paradise. As with everything in nature,

(05:18):
however, there is a balance. For every known quantity, there
is the unknown, and there are also unknown unknowns.
That's why we should invade Iraq.
For every field of vegetation there exists a patch of arid
desert sand. For every explored territory
there lie uncharted regions. And for every friend there
exists the predators. For ages, visitors have been few

(05:42):
and far between. With the war now being waged
below upon the surface of Mobius, between the forces of
that evil despot, Dr. Ivo Robotnik and the valiant Sonic
the Hedgehog and his courageous band of freedom fighters.
It was inevitable that the floating island would be drawn
into the conflict, but as a haven to escape the harness and

(06:05):
cruelty of the war. Or yeah, that's verbatim.
This is verbatim. Because I was reading it out
loud. I'm like, that's a bad sentence.
OK, the fact that they also did black.
Text on I was I was actually going to interrupt you and go on
a mini rant here. So finished, but as a haven to

(06:26):
escape the harness and cruelty of the war, or a beachhead used
by one side to overcome the other.
I'm gonna interrupt you right here.
One this picture goes hard as fuck.
This was black text on top of a color photo.
Classic, classic thing you do inwriting.

(06:46):
It's kind of a standard. You want it to make it so it's
really hard for the reader to read what you wrote and they
crushed it, especially with all the crushed blacks.
If you want to make it less cool, what you do is put white
border around the black text so it can be read universally no
matter what the background. Is, yeah, but we're not nerds.
Yeah, and none of our fans are, so we would never want that.

(07:10):
All that aside, how do you thinkabout the illustration?
I think this illustration goes hard as fuck.
Yes. OK, You're not you're not
kidding about that. I agree.
I. Can the the illustration is for
our dear listeners is it's not Angel Island because it doesn't
have a name yet. It is the floating island.
And beneath that is just destruction.
Just everything is blowing up. There's clearly just like end of

(07:32):
the world kind of happening beneath Knuckles and Knuckles is
standing all like emo. Like I, I, I definitely picture
some sort of like screaming song, like like I stand alone or
like some like breaking bench orsomething, like playing in the
background while he's like standing watching the world,

(07:53):
just like, you know. Only the strongest will survive.
You know what? Sorry, I take it back.
It's Linkin Park. Oh, OK, it's Linkin Park that's
playing right now. Become tsunami.
Yeah, essentially. Preferably not the constipated
version, but I really like that version.

(08:14):
Chester Bennington had that kindof voice, though.
He was. Very.
Yeah, yeah. No, no, you just sounded.
Constipated. I did so.
I was in a dig at Linkin Park. I mean, I will dig at Linkin
Park, but that's a different conversation, Yeah.
Do you think, do you think Ken Pender says he was penning
penning this? Do you think he was like, I'm
going hard as fuck, right? Now scroll up I sometimes they
say it they they put like. Something Mike and Ken.

(08:38):
For the for the script. Yeah, but this is Ken.
This is Ken written all. Over it.
It feels like it. This is Ken.
Yeah, very much. I know enough Ken by now to know
this is Ken. Yeah, it's, let me just say
this, this this page, other thanthe text situation, like the the
the reading of the text, it's, it's a great setup.
It's establishing and I'm sayingthis right now in the intro

(09:01):
because it'll immediately flip. But the the the setup of having
the floating island be this likewill they won't they neutral
ground, semi neutral ground between the two warring factions
is really cool. And it maintains what I I've
absolutely wanted to be maintained is Knuckles being

(09:21):
this kind of wild card. It has been less wild card and
more very clearly Sonic's side. For you to for sure.
But he doesn't. He's positioned between the two
of them in this picture. So there's a there's a
disembodied like head of Sonic and disembodied head of robotic,
both of them cheesen and like very much like verses each

(09:43):
other. And I like the setup so far, but
the illustration is great. The setup is great and it's
it's. Pretty cool.
I think the core premise is flawed though.
I'll accept it in the context ofwhat they're doing here and the
balance and whatnot, but the mere fact that the floating
island exists is a out of balance act and therefore

(10:04):
shouldn't be used as a metaphor for balance considering the fact
the mere floating island's existence is an affront to
whatever God they have. OK.
Am I wrong? No, I don't think you're wrong
at all. I think yeah, you're just
hearing you say it out loud. Just gets more insane how this
world is like it. It, it, it really punctuates it.

(10:26):
And I'm really happy for that because that is the essence of
Archie Sonic it. Seems Well, yeah, yeah, for
sure. And also, you got to remember,
science is what brought this island afloat.
You're right, yes. So like, was it?
Was it? Yes, they they specifically said
they Echinonopolis or whatever brought the island up so.
Like through their science. And I at first I was like, oh,

(10:47):
was it because I'm thinking of what the games established,
which is that like the the gems?The the games are a completely
different thing because they do kind of make it seem like it's a
nature thing, like it was a force in nature that always
existed and that the echidna wasthere to protect this harmony
that exists. Which in the context of the
games I would accept this intro.This would be perfect for the.

(11:10):
Game no, here it here it's the opposite yeah instead, instead
of the ankina going hey, what ifwe started a space program to
like deflect the the asteroid just a little bit so Star Wars
completely yeah yeah no, insteadthey're like no, fuck that we
are going to lift the physical city, our whole society above
the ground and let that shit strike the stuff below.

(11:34):
And for the record, I support and think it's a cool move, but
I just when when they're going to do this whole monologue about
balance between like yin yin Yang, I think it's kind of
foolish to put it with the backdrop of the floating island.
OK. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

(11:55):
Well, I mean, no one thought about that.
How cool would it be if like Chicago floated like we lifted
Chicago I? Mean any, any city.
Des Moines No. No, no.
But so OK, serious talk. What?
Des Moines. Because I was merely pointing
out that any city would cool. Like any floating city would be

(12:16):
pretty fucking cool, dude. OK, look, you just chose one of
the best cities. Chicago history.
We have lifted the city before in the sense that we moved it up
slowly through. I'm not joking.
Look up pictures of this. It, it is we, we literally like
jacked it up like like carjack style or like, yeah, and, and,

(12:39):
and we, and like, it was literally like rows and rows of
jacks. We put them, we dug underneath,
put the jacks underneath, and then just had a bunch of dudes
simultaneously like pump the jacks or like spin.
The contacts as to why we're doing this What?
Why do you think we I was going to say tell the listeners why we
did it. Yeah, 'cause we're fucking
awesome. That's why we did it.

(13:00):
Pretty. No.
I'll explain why we're. I wanted the bit of me like, no,
we did it 'cause we're fucking cool, that's why we did it.
No, we did it because of the, the, the, the river and the
engineering of the river. No, no.
OK. Why did we do it?
Our sewer system. Got it.
OK, you're right. I'm sorry.
I was thinking of the reversing the river right?
Well, that was that's why we're baller shit.

(13:20):
That's my favorite Chicago thingwe did.
But no in the context of the. Why we lifted the.
Sewer system is because we live in a swamp and so we couldn't
bury the lines. So we just sewer lines.
So we just lifted the city and that's why they're, if you go
into like especially in areas like Pilsen and stuff, you'll
see that the all, a lot of houses are like sunken by it,

(13:44):
like a single story. And they have like bridges going
to their house. It's because when we lifted up
the city, I think you had to payto get your house lifted and not
a lot of people could afford it.So they just built bridges going
to their house. So yeah, that's another example
of systemic discrimination. Yeah.

(14:06):
I think I, I'm, I, I'm like 90% sure on that.
At the time, at the time, I think it wouldn't have been
Hispanic immigrants, but rather I think German immigrants.
Yeah, yeah. Definitely not.
Yeah, I think you're right. Still discrimination.
Yeah, no, my favorite thing about Chicago is we asked
downstate. We were like, hey guys, do you

(14:28):
mind if we like reverse the flowof our river and send everything
downstate? Our trash, which is yeah, yeah,
yeah. Our sewer, our literal sewer,
Yeah. So our sewer, trash, sewer,
everything, industrial waste, industrial waste.
And everyone was like, can you not?
And we just did it anyway. Yeah.
And it's kind of like like engineering Marvel also from

(14:49):
what I understand. It's a massive like, honestly,
like, let the bells toll in commemoration of the incredible
feat that is Chicago engineering.
Yeah, pretty cool move. We were just like, fuck it.
Like fuck all of you guys, you're getting all of our shit.
So let's let's let's get to the issue.
Let's get to the story. And we already did.

(15:10):
But let's keep on going, yeah? The fabled floating island of
Mobius. A nice place to visit.
Or at least it would be if the tourism wasn't found upon by the
natives. Given their home's strategic
significance in the war between Robotnik and the Rebel Alliance,
they have every reason to be wary of strangers.

(15:30):
Besides, they like their privacy.
Still, that's never discouraged.A certain still is that
verbatim. Like right here.
Still, that's never discouraged.No, no, no.
You put an awe there, OK. For the record, a lot of times
Word will just like auto correctthings.
I think Word, now I know it's honestly, I need to use

(15:51):
something else because it keeps on.
It keeps on just like inserting things and it like it's, it's
screwing up like prose in a way that really fucks with yeah,
keep on going. Still, that's never discouraged
certain individuals from striving to exploit the lush
tropical paradise, though today the outlanders came not to

(16:12):
fight, but to party. So.
Yeah. That's Verbatim.
Let me say that straight up. You took that from the from the
from the comics from the story issue of Verbatim and the fact

(16:36):
that they won column the Rebel Alliance.
How do we feel about that? Oh, like as a whole?
Yeah, I feel like that's like a Star Wars reference.
Oh yeah, I mean it. Yeah, yeah, whenever it can be.
It's a Star Wars reference. Yeah, you know what, let me let
me keep going here because this gets into what I want to talk.
About yeah, I feel like we need to finish Part 1 before we.
Let's just go cuz. I've got a lot to say.

(16:57):
OK, OK. We cut to Sonic and the Freedom
Fighters walking through a forest on the floating island.
Off in the distance there's a clearing with a welcome sign.
As we get closer, we see an amusement park built on this
tropical paradise. They walk in and are greeted by
every freedom fighter they fought with enjoying the
amusement park. Turns out someone has invited

(17:19):
everyone Sonic knows to this party.
Knuckles, who was either glidingor flying around the amusement
park. I am still unsure of what his
power is in the comic lands in front of the freedom fighters.
Annoyed he hates the amusement park and has no idea where it
came from, Sonic inquires about who could have created this
place. A rodent seemingly appears out

(17:42):
of nowhere, dressed in a skeezy suit that does not fit him, huge
collar and a cane. All right, so we got we got
Renfield T rodent. OK, here we go.
Do you know how Renfield is? Like from from Dracula and
stuff. Dracula's assistant, for those

(18:03):
who don't know. I learned that from the Nicolas
Cage movie. I learned that from when I
googled Run Field earlier today because I was like, I hear this
name enough, I should know what it's from.
And I was like Dracula have. You seen Nosferatu?
No. OK, I feel like you might like
it. The only Dracula movie I've seen
is Dracula. OK, I.

(18:25):
Mean. I figured I covered my bases
there with that one. Allow me to introduce myself.
The names Renfield T Roden and family funds the game.
This park was designed with youramusement in mind.
So be my guest, be my guest, be my guest.

(18:47):
And I won't take no for an answer.
Just like the sorority. But perhaps you'd care to
freshen up a bit first. Might I suggest our hall of
Mirrors? It's a fun house and the first
rides always free. The Freedom Fighters and
Knuckles waltz in. The Freedom Fighters are
enjoying the mirrors while Knuckles is on high alert,

(19:10):
suspecting trouble. Just then a giant flash happens.
Knuckles was able to cover his eyes, but the rest of the
Freedom Fighters weren't so lucky.
When Knuckles fully regains his sight, he sees that all the
Freedom Fighters are trapped within the mirrors.
But but how? Who?
A voice booms from behind Knuckles.

(19:33):
Who? You disappoint me in kidna.
Surely you haven't forgotten your old friend, Doctor Ivo
Robotnik. Oh, so you're behind this?
Robotnik is standing inside a mirror.
I just love that voice so fucking much.
Thank you. Both literally and figuratively.

(19:56):
With aid from Renfield the Rodent, his amusement park was
the ideal bait with which to lure the freedom fighters into a
tourist trap. Some carefully distributed
invitations and a few 1 ray trips to the halls of Mirrors
and my enemies are but pale shadows of their former selves.

(20:17):
At last, Mobius is mine. Knuckles starts running towards
the mirror. Robotic is in.
Are you forgetting something, pork face?
I'm still kicking in and I'm going to start with your
knuckles trips, foolish anteater.
The energies I've released have transformed your body.

(20:39):
A nip here, a tuck there, and your natural abilities become
null and void. I could have transported you to
another dimension of reality along with the others, but
without witness, triumph loses its luster.
And we can't have that now, can we?

(21:04):
End of Part 1. So Knuckles is bad at his job?
He's very bad at his job. Because how?
How are they able to make this fucking amusement?
Party constructed a whole fucking Six Flags Great America
in on the on the Island. Yeah, and he didn't notice it,

(21:25):
which I'm assuming that must have taken and, and taking into
account there's like advanced technology, there's no unions so
you don't have to worry about worker rights.
It took had to have taken at least like 2 weeks.
Yeah, you know what I'm going tosay.
I'm willing to accept a day. I'm willing to accept.
Really. Robotnik was able to push a

(21:46):
button. Things will fall out and
whatnot. I can see, I can see, yes,
because we've seen some crazy ass technology.
That's that's still being said 24 hours not noticing a giant
fucking theme park like be constructed and and it's been
longer than that because look how crowded this fucking
amusement park is. Everyone is having a blast.

(22:08):
Everyone's having a grand old time and Knuckles is like just
showing up where where is. I want a side mini adventure
explaining why Knuckles wasn't here guarding his fucking
island. There there had to have been
displacement of of the local fauna.
Right. Oh yeah, dude, this island's
fucked. Yeah, so.
Like he didn't see that. Yeah, exactly.

(22:31):
Like it's, it's, it's like. No local, no local was like, yo,
there's there's like aggressive development happening and like,
I think we're being invaded. I don't know what they're doing,
but they're doing it. And yeah, none of that.
I would have accepted like he got tricked because that's kind
of like knuckles. Like he's kind of a bonehead

(22:52):
sometimes, right? He gets tricked.
He gets tricked into someone just or like him allowing to.
That's The thing is he would never allow that.
Like he can't be tricked into someone building an amusement
park on a floating island. That's the thing.
It was like literally never. So the premise already is
fucked. I'm already pissed.

(23:13):
So bad bad bad premise. I don't know why they call the
sky Renfield. I thought there was going to be
some sort of like Dracula reference or something.
It may just come down to the fucking collar.
I mean but like why? I don't.
Yeah, maybe someone. You know, you know what?
I think Dracula just came out 9495.

(23:37):
I'm talking about the Keanu Reeves.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, it might.
It might have just came. Out.
We'd have to check afterwards. So.
Correction here if not, if yes or no.
Because they, they are very muchlike, or at least specifically
with Ken, I feel like whatever'sin kind of like the zeitgeist
right now, he kind of wants to like make a reference to it or

(23:59):
Star Wars or Star Trek. That sounds right, which is very
annoying. Yeah, I, I, I mean, I personally
despise that. I'm a firm believer of not
dating your work like that to try to make things timeless.
I like that. I like that term.
Not dating your work like that. Yeah.
You meant like putting a date onit, not like going out with your

(24:20):
work. Yeah.
Jesus Christ, dude, get your mind out of the guy, Yeah?
Good, good thing the the people who make the anthropomorphic
animals will never be weird about for sure designing their.
Anthropomorphic I I hate the fact that Knuckles was disabled
to like block the his eyesight and whatever light was consuming

(24:41):
everyone he just happened to getout of.
But no, I no robotics. Straight up, right.
You're right. I let you do it.
No, no, no. Yeah, he's straight up said,
yeah, I'm doing this because I need a witness.
That's true. That is true.
I which? Which OK, I can cut like I've
heard that excuse before in various capacities and that can
make sense. Especially for Robotnik, he's
egotistical enough where I accept this.

(25:01):
Yes. Why Knuckles?
Does it? Does it matter?
Yes, why someone who can no. No, he's just I'm, I'm pushing
back here because a, he's not the strongest because.
Robotnik. He stripped his powers.
Oh, OK, OK, you're right. You're right.
So Robotnik has stripped his powers, and if he's going to let
anyone live, it would be Knuckles because he's so fucking

(25:24):
annoyed at the Freedom Fighters and how they come at him at
every single turn and corner. Like, of course he's not going
to let a single one of them live.
Even Antoine, who, like, is a bumbling fool.
He's like, fuck you, you're done.
Yeah, But like, if he's going tobe like, someone needs to bear
witness, if it's the freedom fighters in this guy, I'm gonna
let that guy live and take away his powers and stuff.

(25:46):
I agree with that. I like that assessment.
IIA little spoiler for the next parts of the story, but I I feel
like this is a good time to talkabout it because we're talking
about his powers being stripped.So his powers are stripped
knuckles powers. He come from his locks his.
Yeah, so, so at least I feel like that's what's implied is.

(26:09):
He explained it like the steam. Yeah, from his Yeah.
Yeah, from the last this year orwhatever.
The last special that concerns. Him.
Yeah. So his, his, his dreadlocks are
shortened. So he's kind of like a Bob cut
with dreadlocks and he can't flyanymore and he loses his

(26:30):
knuckles, which is like the mostinsane thing to me is he
literally loses the fucking likeknucks part of his knuckles.
Yeah, the pointy parts of his knuckles.
It's like. What technology?
Like, it's such a, it's such a throwaway thing.
Like what technology allows you to do that?

(26:51):
Fucking insane. Like that he literally just did
bodily surgery on him in like the speed at the speed of light.
Insane. I also want to point out the
fact that everyone's trapped in mirrors.
I don't know what that means. Well, OK, last issue or two
issues ago there was like transdimensional.
Portal different thing though. Yes, but the the the.

(27:13):
That was a place. This is like literally a mirror.
Yeah, you're right. Because at the end of the.
OK. Yeah, yeah, because what happens
at the end of the issue, we'll revisit that.
That's insane. Doesn't make sense.
Yeah, you're right. In case you haven't noticed, we
do read the stories or we will tell you when we don't or I'll
tell you when I don't. But like it, it takes a while

(27:36):
for us to come together and record.
So we have to like jog myself ofit.
So if it sounds like I haven't read it, it's because, you know,
I usually, I actually usually read it like a couple days after
we record. See, I know I read it the day of
most of the time. Oh, no, Oh no.
That's why it's so fresh. All right, coming up next.
That's why the script sucks. The Chaos Effect Part 2 Knuckles

(27:57):
is sitting on a Cliff overlooking the amusement park.
Always said I want to be alone, but this is ridiculous.
Robotics captured the freedom fighters and left me holding the
bag. Course, without my special power
and abilities I got plenty of nothing.
Even my sharp knuckles are gone.No Knuckles, shorter locks, and

(28:20):
man, no luck. Just because I'm guardian of a
floating island doesn't mean I always know what to do or where
to go. Something zooms past Knuckles's
face. Honeybee.
No charming bee. Fuck, I was trying to do Toad
for Mario. It's a notorious voice to do.

(28:41):
How do you do? Can you?
Do toadstool for Mario. I gotta try it.
No, I can't do any voice. Yeah.
You're a coward, by the way. I know why you say that.
No, you don't want to humiliate yourself.
No, I'll dude, I fucking sang horribly at the beginning of
this issue. That's true.
I know I'm I am totally above it.
It's. You just literally can't do.

(29:03):
It So what's Toad? Let's go.
Let's do it. Let's fucking Mario.
Mario, Mario, Mario. That's pretty good for Toad.
Right. Yeah, it's about.
Toad tool for Mario, Yeah. Yeah, well, I can't.
I can't do a lot. I can do dumb shit with my voice
like that. But you want me to do Brooklyn?

(29:24):
How do you do Brooklyn? How do you do Brooklyn?
I'm walking here, I'm walking. Here, see.
That's you. You can.
It's called working on it. Yeah, you can.
See now if I don't succeed immediately, I give up.
Gotcha. That's yeah, that's why you're
still doing this podcast. Yeah, exactly.
Just. Instant hit.
Yeah, every single episode's been a pinger.
What are you talking about? But can you, I don't know how

(29:47):
to, can you do like maybe a drony thing with it?
What strange. Jeremy BI didn't like that.
I admire the attempt. I'm not squeeze.
I'm drowning. Yeah, yeah, that's what I'm,

(30:07):
that's what I mean when I say. So I'll try going from 2 words.
No, I'm charming. No, not just something I'm
trying to do like a lizard, which is the other guy.
No, keep on, keep on going. Go along that track.
No, no, I'm Charming bee. Yeah, that works.
No, I don't think it does. All right.

(30:29):
But he doesn't talk much, so it's fine.
Charming is a large bee with twolegs, 2 arms and a pilot helmet
with goggles. You've got 20 and 20 hindsight
friend, but it's best to look forward instead of back.
Is it working for you? It's working.
It's working for me. That's all that matters.

(30:49):
Also, I don't understand that sentence but keep on going.
Yeah, I don't know. He's trying to do puns and be
funny. Not that I mind your company,
but weren't you at the park likeeveryone else?
Because everyone, that's what? Because I'm not everyone, that's
why. Places to go.
People to Z pollen together. A voice comes from a tree.

(31:12):
Kind of like me except for the pollen part.
Stuff makes my nose twitch. So my my reasoning for a purple
chameleon with a yellow horn appears.
I'm going for metrosexual ninja lizard.
A very standard voice most people like can hear in their

(31:33):
head. The three of them start the
instructions when they're here. Slash feel some.
Introductions. The three of them start
introductions when they hear Slash feel something coming
their way. Yeah, yeah, I'm the Rep with the
rap for being rude when it comesto a fight.

(31:54):
I'm no defector. Don't nobody mess with a croc
named Vector. The Chameleon snatches Vector's
headphones. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, give me
my phone's bones. Don't you dig my way?
Cool tones. Vector and Chameleon start.
Do they say his name, by the way?
The Chameleon. And let me double check no.

(32:17):
Yeah, cause 'cause then his namewill eventually be.
They say it in the next issue. OK, that's why I was so fucking
confused because in this or I guess next story, because in
this one they don't call him by his name, and then the very next
story they're like, I'm SPO. Yeah, OK.
So I feel like they just didn't have a name yet.
They went to. Print And they were like shit,
we didn't say his name. So like, have him say it in the
next story. OK, here we go.

(32:38):
So SPO the chameleon, we'll justsay it.
I said chameleon the entire timebecause.
Right, I understand. I understand.
Yeah, thank you. SPO snatches Vector's
headphones. Oh, no, I said that already.
OK. Vector and SPO start arguing
when another rumble begins out from the side of the mountain
they are standing near Mighty. The armadillo explodes out.

(32:59):
Mighty starts introducing himself when a pair of eyes
light up from the darkness behind him.
Sorry, I forgot to describe whatMighty looks like.
Mighty is a red armadillo. His hairstyle I you know what I
don't. Maybe this is kind of out of
left field, but he gives me a Rufio vibe from Hook.

(33:23):
I don't remember. I don't I.
He's the guy with the red hair with the Mohawk, one would say.
The mightiest of the hook? Yeah.
His design's kind of cool. His his armadillo back, his
shielding or whatever his his shell is morphs into what looks
like a hair like a slick back hair.
He's he. He definitely looks like a red

(33:46):
Sonic, the base color black withred hair and it slicks back real
nice. Yeah, real nice.
He seems like a real piece of shit.
Have we seen him before? No, this is our.
First time OK OK OK. Two robots appear behind Mighty.
One looks like a giant trash canwith arms and legs.
The other is just a bomb with arms and legs.

(34:09):
Their names are Heavy and bomb. The heavy trash can starts
monologuing. I'll just do, well, I should do
like just monotone robot voice. Oscar monotone robot voice.
What is Oscar? The Grouch.
What does Oscar the Grouch soundlike?
Again, I don't remember. Yeah, me neither.
I was just saying it cuz this dude remind me of a trash can

(34:30):
so. We can do like trash in the camp
from Tarzan. Yeah Shabba Doo, Dabba bomb and
I where robot makes pride and joy.
No, just do the just sing the whole fucking dude.
Fucking go for. It OK so this is trash in the
camp from Tarzan which is the shabba.
Brought to you by Heavy. Yeah, and yeah, and also **NSYNC

(34:54):
and Phil Collins. Bob and I were Robotnik's pride
and joy. Mechanical mechanics designed to
see got repaired, damaged systems automatically.
Sabadu, Sabadu. But he built us too well.
The Power Gems, which allowed for independent action, granted

(35:14):
us both consciousness and consciousness once we.
OK, now I'm just like coming up with a bridge for this song.
There's no bridge in that song. Once we overheard Robotnik's
plan to imprison the Freedom Fighters with his Fun House
Mirrors, our course was clear. Well, we escaped from a
Robotropolis and made our way here.

(35:37):
OK, end of bridge. We're just going to cut it there
because that's the end of the end of his monologue.
So quick. Just to clarify, yes there is
there They are escaped robots from Robotnik and they they
apparently. They just gained consciousness.
They gained consciousness after seeing what Robotnik literally
just did like 30 seconds ago. Yeah, Little you should Little

(36:01):
editor's note, maybe I don't know what the word I'm looking
for is. You gotta you gotta edit in the
monkey playing drums while you do that the entire time, just
like in the corner. Sure, sure.
OK, that's a Oh yeah, that's a nice.
That's a nice piece of Pulp Fiction's metal head.
But why should we trust you? Heavy leads knuckles into the

(36:24):
mountain that Mighty and themselves just dug their way
out of. Inside was a metal treasure box
full of power gems. These are power gems that vary,
can we not? No, yeah, just the bit's done.
You did it, and I'm very proud of you.
You don't have to continue. These are power gems, the very
things Robotic used to energize his Mirror bomb and myself,

(36:48):
along with a cache of experimental weapons.
They should be invaluable to your 'cause.
My music chip has been destroyed.
You got that right bomb with these little beauties.
We can send robots world, We cansend Robotnix world spinning
into total chaos. End of Part 2.
I fucking hate this. I fucking despise this.

(37:10):
This is such a tie in. It is gross as hell.
And I what, what we have, what Ihave constantly been harping on,
kind of came around, went to at one point was shoving in all of
these new freedom fighters, right?
And, and new teams and new team ups and whatever.
And like, hey, I'm this, I'm that guy, I'm this girl, right?

(37:32):
And we have these powers. It's like, man, you got to you
got to start putting these in naturally, because this just
feels so hokey. It feels like juvenile.
It feels like golden era comics in a way that's not.
I will say it's very obvious to me that some of these writers

(37:52):
want to. They're aping golden era comics.
They're specifically going for that vibe.
And I think they're failing miserably.
It's not working. I am not defending this issue
when I say what I'm about to say.
I agree with your .1000% but I will say this is very clearly a
point where Sago was like you need a tie in with the chaotics

(38:15):
game that's coming out. The problem is more for the
writers. They decided to introduce like
400 freedom fighters in the lastlike 5 fucking issues.
So that's why this feels very obnoxious is because they've
already been doing this over andover again.
And if it was just what will become the the core Chaotics

(38:38):
team as as defined in Sonic Heroes which came out in like
2003 or 6? What's the six?
So, so Sonic Sonic Heroes forced.
Or no four 2004 I think. Sure, Sonic Heroes forced teams
of three. So Sonic, Knuckles.
Tails, Amy. Big the Cat, Cream the Rabbit.

(38:59):
Yeah, what's the chaotic team? Team dark was shadow Rouge and.
Shadow E1O2E1O2. It was a new one.
E1O3. Oh yes, a robot.
And the ammo. Knuckles chaotics or no?
No no, just chaotics. Team chaotics was vector, SPO

(39:22):
and charmy. That's it.
So that's who you view as teen chaotics.
That's what I grew up. You don't.
You don't think about heavy or bomb I.
Don't think about Heavy bomb, Mighty mighty Armadillo.
No, I do not think about. Them mighty I think is a part of
teen chaotics. I think Heavy and Bomb are
literally just in this issue. Are you serious?

(39:43):
Are you fucking joking? Wow.
OK, this is what I'll say. We don't know for sure.
But obviously I recognize every single person I've recognized.
I mean, I obviously don't, I didn't know their names.
But I recognize Charmie, I recognize Mighty, I recognize
all of them except for Heavy andBomb.
I've never seen them before in my fucking life.

(40:03):
Not even in the game, because you played that game.
OK, well, I played like a minute.
I I, I recognized knuckles and vector from that game.
I'm. Going to give them the benefit
of the doubt and assume that they're in the game.
I also assume that, but I also think we never see them again.
Quick quick little side note that I thought was really funny.
Heavy is the one doing this whole monologue and then

(40:24):
Knuckles was immediately like, you got that right bomb.
He does say that he ignores Heavy complete like somewhat.
It's like me monologuing to you,like explaining everything.
And you're like, yeah, you got that right, Mike F, and just
ignored me completely. Like not just ignored,
completely wrong. Like, you know, it almost looks

(40:44):
like you just got the name wrong.
Yeah, yeah, actually, maybe, maybe you can't tell the
difference between their voices.That's so funny.
Side note. So these power gems, they're
orange. Yes.
I would bet $1,000,000 that thiswas originally a chaos Emerald

(41:06):
and Sega pushed back and was like they can't be chaos
emeralds especially especially. That's actually kind of good.
Honestly, that's good. Yeah, but because it's called
the Chaos effect and you get these gens and we've we've
already dealt with so many Chaosemeralds in very like they're

(41:29):
everywhere. Bunny's putting them on clothes
like she's wearing them as like fucking diamond.
Like they're they, they are not.I mean, they're special, don't
get me wrong, but they do not, there's not seven of them.
There's like 1000 of them. Yeah, imagine like Dragon Ball Z
with like a million dragon balls.
Well, I mean, this is, I mean, let's be real here.
We're really talking about Full Metal Alchemist and Full Metal

(41:51):
Alchemist Brotherhood. Where in some would say the
superior show would that be me? I don't know, the original show
they only had like 1 philosopher's stone and the less
good show that followed the manga they had like 1000

(42:12):
philosopher's stones and maybe that made things a lot worse, I
don't know. So yeah, just to cap that off,
this is just a mess. I I hate everything that's
happening. It's you can introduce people,
you can introduce new characters, but God damn it,
don't do it in a single part to a whole story arc.

(42:33):
And yeah, again, like you said, this is very likely a forced tie
in that from above and I do sympathize with that.
I mean, like I said, I I don't mind the fact that they're doing
the chaotics issue. I just mind the fact that the
writers decided for the last like 10 issues to introduce new
people every single time. That's.

(42:54):
My problem, yeah, bad timing. Really bad timing all.
Right, let's keep on rock and rolling.
We are not getting the emails today.
No, the chaos effect, Well, holdon.
Is it? Is it?
Is it? How many are there 2/1?
Yeah, two more after this, OK. The Chaos Effect Part 3 We open
on Robotnik and Renfield congratulating themselves on a

(43:16):
job well done. With the Freedom Fighters out of
the way, nothing can possibly gowrong just then.
All the rides have reactivated simultaneously somehow,
something that is impossible because they are all controlled
by individual switches. Robotnik assumes Knuckles is
behind these events, but who else?

(43:37):
Robotnik calls in for emergency backup, summoning Metal Sonic.
He commands the Metal Beast to go and attack the new faction of
Freedom Fighters that was undoubtedly organized by
Knuckles. Metal Sonic flies off.
The Chaotics crew is standing inthe middle of the amusement park
when Metal Sonic starts flying at them.

(43:57):
Charmy flies up, knocking Metal Sonic in the face.
Metal Sonic recovers and targetsSPO, flying right at him.
SPO dodges at the last second, causing Metal Sonic to crash
into a nearby building. Knuckles and Vector then grab
two rings that are tethered together by some energy Rope.
Vector starts swinging Knuckles towards Metal Sonic when Metal

(44:20):
Sonic grabs the energy rope Knuckles, let's go.
When Vector is able to swing Metal Sonic into another
building, the Chaotics team seems to be winning.
But just then, Metal Sonic transforms, growing much taller
and faster. His color changed from blue to
red, signifying his speed has increased by a factor of 3.

(44:42):
Metal Sonic has gotten a hold ofa Power Gem.
Knuckles does the same, growing to match the height of Metal
Sonic. The two of them are now fighting
like kaijus, towering above the amusement park.
We cut to Renfield and Robotnik watching the fight over some
monitors. Oh, bitter irony.
The gem enabled that meddlesome Enchidna to attain amazing

(45:05):
colossal size. Given the volatile nature of the
energies unleashed, should this war of the gargantuan spill over
into my Hall of Mirrors, the results could be shattering.
We cut some. We cut back to Knuckles and
giant Metal Sonic. Knuckles trips Metal Sonic into
the Hall of Mirrors, freeing theFreedom Fighters.

(45:29):
Breaking nose mirrors must have somehow reversed that energy
effect. I can feel my powers and
abilities are back and I know just what to do with them.
Knuckles punches red Metal Sonicand red Metal Sonic explodes.
Robotnik rushes to an escape rocket to get out of the
amusement park before everyone'sattention is turned to him.

(45:53):
Renfield tries to join Robotnik in the rocket but is kicked out.
Robotnik flies away. Renfield starts making a beeline
to the amusement park entrance when a giant cage falls on him,
a la Mousetrap style. Like the board game Mousetrap.
Nice. We cut to later, where some
Muppets are. Yeah, we cut to later, where

(46:14):
some Muppets are taking Renfieldaway.
Muppet cops. Yeah, straight up unironically,
since we kind of broke up the flow right here.
I do think that they're trying to do like a chief of Wiggum.
Yeah, a little bit. I see it.
I see it and and because I didn't write down the quote, he
says take them away boys with and like Chief Wiggum would say

(46:34):
that all the time. So I do think he's not supposed
to look like a muppet. But he does look like a muppet.
Dude, it's like a Muppet Chief Wiggum, truthfully.
That's so funny Sonic. Congrats Knuckles on forming his
own super team, but all of them claim they'd never join forces.
Still, I can't shake the feelingwe haven't seen the last of the

(46:56):
Chaotics crew and of Part 3. The obviously boring.
We've kind of said the main things we need to say.
It's a lot of action, which can be cool, but not really.
Because what can what makes action?
What gives action? It's oomph.
If it if it's not like visually cool, like there's something

(47:19):
spectacular in that way spectacular, then it's the
emotion behind it. And I have no emotion behind it
because this is a brand new teamthat we just fucking assembled
out of nowhere. Well, and I would add creativity
behind the fighting, yeah, as like a third pillar there.
Oh, but it's Kaiju, so you do love this.
No. Well, yes and no.
I was straight up like hell yeah.

(47:40):
Finally something cool is happening.
But the thing that frustrates meto no end is the fact that they
decided to change the design of Metal Sonic and they, they
changed it very for, for our listeners, very super Shredder
from Teenage Ninja Turtles to Secret of the Ooze kind of vibe

(48:03):
where when he, when he gets oozed up shredder, he, he gets
like these like giant shoulder pads and stuff and he's like a
lot beefier and he's stronger. This definitely has teenage
ninja turtle 2 secret of the ooze vibes.
But my, my critique here is if Ihad to choose, how can I word

(48:25):
this? I think if I had to choose a
single design as the best designed thing in Sonic, it's
Metal Sonic. I I I don't know if we talked
about this when Metal Sonic first debuted in the comics, but
God damn, I totally agree. Yeah, and so like, they tried
changing his design to make him look beefier, stronger.

(48:48):
They gave him sharp teeth, but like, he looks dumb as shit to
me. And I was like, if you just, I
mean, Knuckles didn't change at all, why change Metal Sonic?
It's met Metal Sonic is like, like I, I've done this.
I sat down and I like looked at how all the characters have like
evolved over the years with their stylistic changes.

(49:11):
You know who fucking hasn't changed?
Metal Sonic. Metal Sonic was designed in
what, 1994 and hasn't changed. And that's because there's
nothing to improve. It's like literally the perfect
design. It's.
Very good. And yeah, so their attempt to

(49:33):
make him look like evil or cooler or more menacing, it's.
Like, failed miserably. It's totally unnecessary.
All Robotnik had to do, all he needed to say, was like, oh,
Robotnik, I have like a giant ray and you're giant now.
Yeah, it's I like, I think, I think Metal Sonic looks more
menacing than this. No time out.
No, the whole actually wait, thewhole narrative, the whole meta

(49:54):
reason why? I don't know why if This is why,
but it seems like the meta reason is because they needed
something big to crash on the Hall of Mirrors to let the
freedom Fighters free. I I was ignoring the whole that
whole thing because it doesn't even make sense.
Yeah, all you could have done was just have them crash.
Whatever. Yeah.
None of it makes. Sense none of it does so like

(50:15):
breaking the mirrors means letting them free.
Yeah, well no. They specifically said because
of the energy of the power emerald that interfered with the
mirror energy in a way that allowed the shatter to happen
and let the freedom fighters escape if they shattered that

(50:36):
those mirrors without that energy.
Somehow that doesn't work. I don't fucking know it it was a
stretch. It made no fucking sense.
My disbelief is as suspended as your like TV stand, which is
very very low. Like it is.
Oh my God what a mess. It's just one thing after

(50:57):
another introducing a whole new team one by one, no character
behind them really at all. Vector.
How did we, how did we get to meet Vector before all of this?
Remember. He was in the The Last Knuckle
solo thing and him, I just remember him.
I remember Knuckles looking at the moon and Vector walking up.

(51:17):
Yeah, stuck out like a. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Like they added him after the fact.
Yep. Yeah, well that's The thing is
you got to introduce these characters one at a time to give
them space. When you introduce them all at
once. It's like we get 2 stories after
this and we still don't know anything about them after those

(51:38):
two stories and I'm like that was prime opportunity instead of
like trying to include everyone in each story.
Split up the team have like Charming and mighty being one
story and have Vector and SPO orVictor Vector.
Vector. In the other story, just so that

(51:58):
they have space to like communicate and like show their
personalities. It's it's an ongoing problem and
I'm this is like this. This truly is the culminate the
sorry, like one of the we're seeing it happen in real time is
the founding issue of Sonic the Hedgehog, which I've mentioned

(52:21):
before, which is just character bloat.
And it is so obvious here. I always assumed it was like a
games thing, not a comics thing.I'm I think I'm of the mind now,
from what I'm seeing here, I think it's a comic thing.
It is a comic thing. It's a comics problem that
seeped into the games. And I'm so that is like that

(52:43):
really has upended my view of Sonic as a franchise.
Like wow. I mean, not really because it's
still that same end point, but the history of it.
It's like I'm learning a whole new history of Sonic here on a
meta level that I didn't realizebefore.
Wait until we get to the Europe comics.
Oh God. All right, here we go.
Where? Sonic That talk was brown.

(53:04):
Story here. Tag you're it.
Script by Ken Pender's Pencilingand Inking by Harvo.
Charmy initiates a game of Tag with Mighty the Armadillo.
Mighty starts chasing around Charmy.
When Charmy flies past Vector, Mighty tags Vector by pushing
him to the ground. Vector gets up and starts
chasing Charmy and Mighty. Mighty punches a tree down,

(53:25):
falling towards Vector. Vector dodges and accidentally
lands on SPO, who was not named last issue.
For some reason, SPO starts chasing everyone when he trips.
As he's getting up, a shadowy cricket appears in front of him.
He quickly disappears. The gang continues to play tag.
The end. It's so fucking dumb.
Yeah, I, I, I slowed down at theonly important part.

(53:49):
So so. An Australian cricket, I might
add. Yeah, so an Australian cricket.
Yeah, I, I specifically was like, let's just get through
this and then we'll talk about what just happened because the
premise of this is fucking dumb.And like it's just setting up.
There's there's little like tag notice or I don't know how you
describe it. It was like, who was that

(54:10):
stranger? Read Sonic's comic to find out
and the game goes on like. Stingers.
Yeah, like Stinger, perfect, thank you.
And it's like, fuck you, dude, you're so an Australian.
Cricket shows up and SPO trips and falls and all the cricket
says is, hey, if if I hadn't been concentrating on something

(54:31):
else, you wouldn't have noticed me.
And then he disappears. That's that's it.
That's all what happened. And it's clearly a setup for
whatever the next issue is. And it's going to be like, where
was that Cricket? Oh, he went and he was in that
issue. And it's like, I fucking hate
this bullshit. This is the stuff I hate the
most about comics. And granted, we haven't had

(54:52):
honestly like any in the Sonic comics yet.
Sorry, did you find what do you hate most about comics?
When so I hate when they just dolike small little fanservicey
things. I don't even know is this
fanservice? No, this is fanservice.
Little little references, littlenuts.
I can't be, I can't be a fan of this thing if I don't know what
the fuck it is. But it's in service of something

(55:14):
else, sure. And it little little Nuggets of
like, hey, you want to find out what's going on here?
Read this issue to find out. And like, it's fucking bullshit.
It doesn't add anything to the story.
In fact, this entire story seemslike it was a setup for a tease
for something that happens in the next issue.

(55:36):
And and it's not even a good tease.
It's just all you know is some Australian cricket's gonna be
there. OK, well, when Australian
cricket shows up in the next issue, I'm gonna be like, yeah,
that's that's an Australian cricket.
All right, you. Couldn't have just introduced
them right then and there? Yeah, this, this has done
nothing for me and you wasted 4 perfectly good panels that you
could actually do some characterdevelopment on and like give

(55:58):
these characters like interesting, like back stories
or interesting. They're playing tag, they're
playing tag. Shut up.
And literally any give me oh, you know what?
SPL likes to make pies and he's making pies and everyone's going
to eat it. And we find out that Charmie the
Bee hates cherries. I don't fucking know.

(56:18):
Give me anything of character. And so of being like, tag,
you're it. Oh, look, cricket, like the fuck
just happened. Sorry this.
Yeah. No, I'm actually pissed.
This is the shit that pisses me off about comics.
He's he's had bigger blow UPS, but those were all in jest.

(56:39):
This is legitimately. This is this is probably the
first time I've actually been angry anytime.
In your life. Yeah, actually.
Pure joy before this. Like even even if like I'm
playing a video game or something on stream, I, I play
up my anger, I'm not actually angry.
This is anger. This is me angry.

(57:00):
This is real. Yeah.
Because. Because I feel the frustration
too. Like, like my I, I also have
that frustration. And it's so it's so bad.
And I am. My patience and my appreciation
for the working class isn't working so much harder here
because it's like, I get it. I really hope that this team of

(57:21):
writers and artists, etcetera, just had a really fucking hard
time with Sega breathing down their necks.
I am hoping that is the case. But there is also something to
be said about like this is your chance to do something and you
kind of like you did kind of biff it like you can't, you can
only make so many excuses beforeyou just start making a bad
product. Yeah.

(57:41):
And this is we've the culmination point is here, I
think so far. I will say.
This is the worst yet. This is the worst yet.
This is like one of the worst issues yet.
I agree, every single time we have been given an opportunity
for character development I feellike they went the other
direction. Completely.

(58:02):
Oh my. God, this this comic cares more
about. Cool being, cool trying to be.
Cool. Trying to be cool instead of
developing people as a character, which is why I love
it so much when they do. I mean, it's not why I love it
so much when they do it. It's it's why I call out when I
feel like there's a character moment because I'm like, that's
cool. We need more of that.

(58:24):
When Sally's like, fuck Sonic, I'm gonna flood these like,
tunnels. I'm gonna kill him.
Yeah, I'm gonna kill him. That's a cool character.
Moment 'cause she made a choice between her people and her love
and that's like, wow. Yeah, that was awesome.
We don't tag. You're not getting that.
OK, let's let's finish this fucking thing, all right?

(58:44):
This one's barely better. In my opinion.
It is better because at least there's a plot.
Anyway, the hunt is on. No, it's not better.
Sorry, but. Keep on, let's do it, let's do
it. The hunt is on script and
penciling by Ken Penders, inkingby John d'agostino.
We open on Vector, Mighty and Charmy all hanging out with
Knuckles running up Knuckles. Long time no see, my man.

(59:05):
Why are you so cranked? Forgot about that.
I, I wasn't originally going to make anyone write like like do
voices because I was like, I need to get this done with.
I'm just going to quickly like give a quick summary.
And then I read what he like said and I was like, no,
actually you need to read everything he says.
Why are you so cranked? There's no time to explain.

(59:27):
Get down. Get down now.
Everyone dives to the ground while explosions happen all
around them. Knuckles gets up.
Everybody all right? Sing out, you heroes.
Mighty asks if Robotnik is attacking Knuckles.
Knuckles hypothesizes that it could be Archimedes and that he
is unsure if he has friend or foe.
Real quick, was there a character named Archimedes or is

(59:47):
he just referring to the Greek? No.
Yeah, remember the temple? If you remember, there's a whole
temple on the floating island that Knuckles discovered and he
went on those trials and. So I know there's affair.
Who's our comedian? Archimedes was the guy on the.
You might have thought they werethe same character.
They are not. I did think they were the same
character. Because I thought Affair was him

(01:00:10):
when Alfair was introduced until, like, they kept on
talking and I was like, they're yeah.
OK, so Archimedes was the. The floating island guy, Well.
Yes, OK. Yes, The floating island, old
Enchidna a fair is the old Enchidna that we saw more
recently on the ground at at Ground Zero of when of where the
floating island originated from.OK, got it.

(01:00:31):
Got it. Thank you.
We're going to need a family tree I think soon.
Knuckles hypothesize is that it could be Archimedes and that he
is unsure if he is friend or foe.
As the team runs away from more fire, Vector falls into a giant
hole. The team calls out saying
they'll get a rope for him when they are immediately attacked by
some floating blue balls. Literally as in like no joke,

(01:00:53):
they are just circles. They are balls, and they are,
they happen to be blue. They dodge the balls and they
explode on impact. Knuckles calls out for SPL and
he reveals himself. He's been watching everything
unfold. Charmi has been impacted by the
blast and is dazed and confused.SPL, Mighty, and Knuckles
continue onward to investigate what's going on.

(01:01:14):
Just then, a red robot on tank treads starts attacking the
group. Mighty starts one V wanting the
robot SBO. Knuckles continue onward.
Suddenly a figure dressed in allblack sneaks up behind SBO and
kidnaps him. Knuckles looks around and
suddenly he is alone. A voice calls out.

(01:01:34):
And I'll just do AI. Don't remember what you did for
our comedies anyway, so think Brooklyn.
Are you sure? Are you sure?
Floating islands I'm I am now saying floating island heads
Brooklyn. OK everyone, Everyone else from
the Ekiden of Race Australian. Got it.
Oh, Knuckles, you still don't. You still didn't think you could

(01:01:56):
have gone through this. It's a whole lot easier if you
and your friends stuck together.But you thought the objective
was more important. I know what's going on.
The question before you is, which is more important?
Your friends, the threat to the Floaten Island or Adrian.

(01:02:17):
Thank you. Faced with a choice of
sacrifice, so. Even though that's Philly.
Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. For the record, the voice just
says Your friends or the threat to the Floaten island?
Faced with a choice of sacrificing his friends or his
home world, Knuckles ponders over his agonizing decision.
The answer to that and many others await you in the pages of
Sonic the Hedgehog #31 on sale December 1995.

(01:02:40):
Don't miss it, end of the hunt is on.
And this whole chaotic special, Jesus Christ.
So there was a specific thing I wanted to call out here, but I
actually don't remember now. That's why you always got to be
writing. What'd you think of this one?

(01:03:04):
I mean, there's not much to say.It's Part 1 of a story, so and
that nothing. It's all arbitrary.
It's all arbitrary. It's just some action, generic
action or we're under attack. Oh, I remember what I was going
to say, Knuckles saying. Everybody all right, sing out,
you heroes. I think that line is actually

(01:03:25):
pretty good. I like that.
I like that. Line that is I think the most
out of character line yet for. Knuckles.
It felt so weird when I read it.Well, and and like it's not that
is a line for I feel like charming.
No, not even. No one talks.
About it will if I'm if I'm saying if anyone in the chaotic
screw was to say it, it would becharming.

(01:03:46):
I feel like it would be mighty. The answer is the only person
who would say that is Tails. Like on Ironically, no one else
would say that. No one.
It. It felt so fucking out of
character. And I'm like, why are you?
This is when I was like, oh, I don't think Kenny even gets what
he's writing. And it's not even like him being
funny or sarcastic. It's a serious moment.

(01:04:07):
It's a serious the. Adrenaline, the adrenaline is
pumping, which means he's all him.
He's just himself, right? And he's avoiding being shot at.
So he has to be he's he's definitely serious.
So it does not make sense. It's horrible.
Now I should mention the reason why I do the why I chose why we
chose the Brooklyn accent for Knuckles is because Ken Penders

(01:04:28):
did originally write Knuckles asI and I quote a dem desi and
doge Brooklyn guy right? I don't know when Ken was told
to not do that. Yeah.
So it could very well be that Knuckles is not is not the

(01:04:48):
Brooklyn voice has not been the.I don't think he's the Brooklyn
voice. We just do that.
We, we. So I acknowledge, we acknowledge
that we're just doing that for fun.
Yes, OK, so 'cause I feel like in the original issues it kind
of had a cadence of Brooklyn. Yes, and I don't think it has
that anymore. No, if anything, Captain
America, because everybody all right, sing out you heroes like

(01:05:09):
who fucking. Yeah, no one that's too heroic.
Yeah like that doesn't even fit.You're right.
Even without the ignore the Brooklyn in this case, that
doesn't even fit knuckles of hisvibe.
No, as a not anti hero. I don't.
Well, I don't think he considershimself a hero, Correct.
And I don't think he considers the chaotics crew heroes.
Yeah, he literally just says like, yeah, we're not even a
team, you know, we're too cool for that.

(01:05:30):
Like don't, don't. Get that's why I'm like this.
This line actually annoyed the shit out of me and.
And look, it seems like we're blowing it up, but it's so
indicative of like, how disjointed and disconnected this
whole fucking thing is. Well, especially because
literally. None of it is 2.
Stories ago they were specifically like, I wouldn't
say heroes, but like they're they're definitely like we're

(01:05:52):
not a team. We're not.
They accidentally freed the freedom fighters.
Yeah, like they didn't even meanto do that.
I mean I'm sure it was on their To Do List.
At some point. Sure.
Yeah, I. Like the so OK, so we're looking
at currently the the panel wherethey're all like basically doing
their hero pose. And before that they're like,

(01:06:14):
Nah, we're not really that at all.
They're all like, shitting all over the idea of being a team,
which means they're giving off like Suicide Squad vibes, right?
Or like, regretful heroes or whatever.
Whatever. Yeah, no, What's a better term?
No, there's nothing wrong with Suicide Squad.
It's just I have a very. It's very.
Specific reaction to. It fair enough, fair enough.

(01:06:34):
That's a completely different, yeah.
This is it doesn't gel at all. None of this is gel.
This is a mess of an of a whole issue.
And I'm it's unfortunate becauselast issue was there were some
signs of like something cool happening here in the well, I
don't remember. Last issue was interesting.
Yeah, OK, OK. Yeah.

(01:06:55):
Last issue was issue #30 that was issue #30 Oh no, it annoyed
me. It was Uncle Chuck's return.
Yeah, you're right. And they were just like, yeah,
Uncle Chuck's back. So it was it was already
starting kind of mid. This like puts it in a dumpster,
so if anything can't get any worse than this or can it so

(01:07:17):
we'll find out, I don't know. Anything, at least what I'll say
is I didn't have nearly as much grievance with the last issue
with Uncle Chuck's return. I, I the things I didn't like
about it was just like on how unceremoniously Uncle Chuck came
back. He was just kind of there.
Which is a big moment that you had.
A big fucking moment. Exactly.
I was. I was upset with how certain

(01:07:39):
things happened in the issue. I wasn't upset with the things
that happened in the issue, if that makes sense, The whole
concept. Yeah, so anyway, what is there
left to say other than this is just a mess.
It feels like a mess. It's so forced, which makes
sense because it's a tie in. And I, I feel, I kind of feel

(01:08:00):
bad for this chaotics team just because Chaotics is such a
storied thing in Sonic, in the Sonic community apparently.
And this is where we're startingoff, at least the Freedom
fighters, as quirky and flawed as they were in the beginnings
and still are, to be frank, because they could use a lot
more characterization. I believe at least there's

(01:08:20):
elements of cool to them, of cool things.
You know, a fallen sovereign monarch, 1/2 robot strong woman.
You know, you've got you run thespectrum of interesting ideas
here. What the fuck is chaotics?
What the what the fuck is there?So you get a ring and you get
another ring and you attach themand you can't go too far away

(01:08:43):
from each other and it kind of like zips you to each other.
It's not a good game mechanic. It was.
It has to be a game mechanic, right?
Oh no, that so that. So specifically when a vector is
holding the ring and Knuckles isholding on the.
Other side, this is in like 2 stories ago, yeah.
That is the core game mechanic of chaotics.

(01:09:03):
I don't remember exactly how it interacts.
I remember it just not feeling good.
And I remember thinking to myself, this is an interesting
idea. I would have done this for maybe
a level in a different Sonic game.
Making a whole game around this feels like, hey, it feels like

(01:09:24):
you were going to your boss and was like, I got a cool idea and
he's like cool, make it. And and so like they made the
first level and they're like, ohshit, they want a whole game
with this. This isn't going to.
This is supposed to be a a mini game.
Yeah, this was like. A Sonic 4 this was.
Like a special level. So yeah, overall I think

(01:09:45):
Dominic, I are of the same mindset of we are both extremely
disappointed in this chaotic special especially, or at least
me personally, I I am just someone who just despises when
it's like, but this time not so much because it's like going
straight into issue #31 that's the next whatever.

(01:10:06):
But I do hate just like stories that feel like they're just non
actual story and it's just set up for another story.
Right, you're wasting my time and a chance to do something
cool. Or interesting or develop
something like I don't I this this issue of watching everyone
get kidnapped. It's supposed to be setting up

(01:10:28):
the core idea of like Knuckles is too impulsive with his
thinking and will not sit back and try to help out his friends
and whatnot. Right?
Like that's what they're trying to set up.
I don't think they do a good jobof explaining like that's I, I,

(01:10:53):
I get what they're trying to do.I just think the core premise of
how they're doing it is poorly done.
And so I think there are things that you could have done to make
it more obvious that Knuckles ischoosing a bigger picture
instead of his friends. Because with with this setup

(01:11:17):
that they have specifically it, it feels, how can I word this?
It's like stumbled upon almost like, So Knuckles shows up,
things are exploding. Is there's a fight happening,
right? And he's being attacked by an
unknown enemy and his goal is tofight off whatever's happening.

(01:11:40):
It's an ambush there. He doesn't understand why he's
being attacked. All he knows is he's being
attacked. And so as each of the Freedom
Freedom fighters, each of the Chaotics crew is being like
picked off 1 by 1, he's like, well, I got to go fight the
thing that's picking them off. And I don't think that is a good

(01:12:03):
allegory that they're trying to use to explain that Knuckles is
choosing a bigger picture over his friends, especially as the
mystery voice Archimedes, we areassuming, but we technically
don't know, is specifically calling out.
You're choosing. You got to choose between the
island or your friends is like it's not set up here.

(01:12:27):
You're just being attacked by a mystery thing and you're trying
to figure out what's attacking you.
You can even argue to protect your friends.
So choosing the enemy instead ofhanging back and helping out
your friend, I think is he needsto have more of a a mission,

(01:12:49):
more of a like stated goal, right?
It needs to be like, hey, a guy stole the Chaos Emerald and I'm
chasing him and the people are being picked off behind him and
he's choosing to go after the Chaos Emerald instead of helping
his friends. Now that's a story that makes
sense in terms of what Archimedes is trying to teach

(01:13:10):
instead of in the lesson. Instead, it's just some dude
picking people off in like weirdfashions that you can't even
tell they're being picked off. Just like it's a mistake, like
things are happening and he's still choosing to try to fight
this mystery person. It doesn't work for the allegory
is what I'm trying to. I don't know if I'm explaining

(01:13:31):
this well. I I think, I think I do.
It's well one, just the fact that he's just like slowly
losing them and like kind of abandoning them.
Honestly, it's kind of weird andthe pacing feels off because
it's like we just got introducedto this team now they're getting
split off and now it's what is what's going on?
What are you trying to set up for the game?
I I don't like it. Like I said, it really is a

(01:13:53):
mess. Yeah, in every switch way, the
implications that I I don't know.
And also I'm lost in the in the in the.
Let's see here. Really fucking weird.
I'll accept charmy. Vector being abandoned makes no
sense because Knuckles whole thing is he can climb.
He could've just went down there, had Vector hold onto his

(01:14:14):
back and he could have climbed up.
You're going to tell me he doesn't have enough strength to
do that? He's like the power dude.
I mean, he's not mighty, but I guess we don't know power
levels. There's two power dudes.
Yeah, exactly. Punch is hard, Mighty is just
hard, and well, he's Armadillo. And then actually in Sonic
Heroes, Vector is the strong guy.

(01:14:34):
So yeah, none of this makes sense.
None of this makes sense. I feel like I had one more call
out but I'm not remembering so that that might be that might be
it for me. Do you have any other
statements, ideas, suggestions? I have absolutely no desire to
see this play out other than forthe fact that.

(01:14:57):
I need to see this play. Out just to see how if because I
don't think they're going to save it.
So like how? What can you say with a setup
like this? Do we?
It's it's already 20 minutes. I think we need, yeah, we have a
very good e-mail, but we will get to it next.
Week, let's save that e-mail so we're not rushing this.

(01:15:19):
We're not we don't want to rush that e-mail keep sending them in
keep going. We'll get to them eventually.
We might if they pile up. We can even do a sonogram
special. But either way, we we went
really hard on this one, and forgood reason.
Because it deserved it honestly.Yeah, sorry, Dominic and I have
a place we need to be. No, not even that.
I just. I just.
Well, I'm just explaining. Yeah, it's fine.

(01:15:40):
And wow, you're going to just shit on me like that.
Whatever. Let's do the I You're my friend.
While I was doing that bit, I should have been pulling up the
outro, but I didn't. I need to.
I need to sit down and figure out if this is right.
The issue? Numbers don't feel right
anymore. I feel like you skipped 1.

(01:16:05):
And that's the issue. Only 300 and 84 left to go.
I'm Nick. I stream at twitch.tv/mojo
Source. And I'm Dominic, you can follow
my jazz adventures in Chicago and people power adventures in
Chicago at Blue Collar Jazz and my personal blue sky is at
Domguan. I've been uploading a lot of

(01:16:26):
I've effectively just uploaded ashit ton of B roll for from the
Mayday marches just because got a ton got a ton.
Gotta talk fast was written by nick folkerts and edited by
Dominic guanzon. Intro and outro themes recorded
by Dominic guanzon gotta go fast, originally composed by
Norman J grossfeld, Joseph garrity, and Russell Velasquez.

(01:16:50):
Gotta talk, gotta talk, gotta talk, gotta talk, gotta talk,
Gotta talk, Gotta talk fast. Gotta talk fast.

(01:17:12):
Gotta talk fast. Gotta talk fast.