Dare To Be

On this episode of ‘Grab A Glass’, on his first Father's Day, DT talks about a moment he had as a child, that he hopes he can model for his son.

Episode Transcript

(00:03):
The Boy and the Arbios is nice, Gonna keep it flat is on the
line, mas NICs Relick have alost so Cravers. I watched a Bronx

(00:34):
Tale for the first time as anadult this week. Wild right. I'm
a massive fan of organized crime andthe entire movie genre or anything closely adjacent
to it. Frankly, uh,mostly because of the depiction of the loyal,

(00:58):
tight knit community everyone but he doeseverything together. I just think that's
a real treat, especially cinematically.But it was my first time watching it
as an adult, and I willsay as a new father, it was
an interesting experience, mostly because Idon't think a I watched more than ten

(01:21):
to fifteen minutes of it at atime because I was busy being with my
son. We're trying to limit hisexposure to screens or as best as we
can, and just allow him totake in our world and his new life
unaltered by the screens of today.But any event, I finished it.

(01:45):
A quick necessary synopsis for anybody whohasn't seen it. Robert de Niro plays
a bus driver who's raising his sonalongside his wife played by Catherine Narducci,
while trying to make sure he isinfluenced by local gangsters and a riff raff
and bullshit in the neighborhood, namelya gangster, a local gangster played by

(02:07):
Chaz Palmonary, written by Pulmonary,directed by De Niro, great little classic
cult film, and it got methinking this week as I approached my first
father's day. A massive theme ofthe movie is to be who you are.
Don't waste your talents on trying tofit in, especially if it goes

(02:31):
against what you know is not rightnow. Of course, the people delivering
this to this kid in this movie, played by both Francis Capra and Lelo
Berncato, because it's kind of acoming of age story for the child,
those delivering that message to this kidare flawed, very flawed in fact,

(02:51):
which I think mirrors real life asa parent. It's this whole message of
I don't know everything. I'm notthe best man on the planet, but
I know what you should do becauseI've done things that you shouldn't. And
it isn't always about following me.It's about doing what I say and not
what I do. And I feelthat as a father, what I want

(03:15):
for my son is what these twomen in this film want as they guide
this child. They want the kidto be happy, to be safe,
to be smart, to not getmixed up with who they view as knuckleheads
and the bad crowd, to dareto be different, even though there are
moments in which they're doing those verythings or not being as good as they

(03:37):
could be. Easier said than done, Especially on the child side. Of
course, especially in real life andnot a movie, I feel like we
all want to be accepted. Weall as kids wanted to fit in to
some degree. Sure, there weretimes where we wanted to be viewed as
the best, which I guess wouldallow us to stand out, But there

(03:59):
are men any instances in which youjust want to be one of the guys,
one of the girls, one ofthe crowd. Especially as young adults,
I feel like there are these momentswhere being the outlier feels like a
punishment worse than anything that you couldeven imagine. What's wildest about this?
And this is what really got methinking, especially as like I mentioned,

(04:24):
being a new father and thinking aboutwhat I want for my son as an
adult. When I see any kidstand out in any way, shape or
form, I think it's the coolestshit you could see like, when I
see a kid that's like a spellingbee champ, I'm like, that's dope
as hell. It may be nerdyfor kids, but it's dope when you

(04:45):
see it as an adult. Ido think for me, which will allow
me maybe to help my son beexposed to different things. I was blessed
to have examples of that. Igot to see adults that ended up being
different because they were different as kids. And I'll mention an example of that
later, but something that I'm thinkingabout and when I think back on my

(05:09):
own childhood or adolescents again, Ihave to give many thanks to my parents
because they exposed me to a lot. Anything that I did that was a
conscious decision to be different, orto take a chance, or to be
out of the ordinary saved me fromsome bullshit one and there was plenty of

(05:30):
bullshit to fall into. And evenbetter yet though especially now, was absolutely
the right move for me when Idared to be different, and it's driven
home a long lasting memory. Perfectexample story time. In high school,
a close friend of mine was adancer poised to take her talents to the

(05:56):
college dancing level. Think she wasjust beginning to really show her skills as
a choreographer, which is amazing ata young age, and overall just honing
her skills as she prepped for thatleap to the next level. I knew
something about that as I was goingon to play football, so I think
that was something that we connected onpretty early. I don't remember how we

(06:17):
got on the topic back in Thishad to be in two thousand and eight
or two thousand and nine, Andhopefully you're listening to this, and if
I'm butchering it, you'll tell me. She wanted to graph a dance,
a male female dance, one onone, and we just so happened to

(06:38):
have a talent show coming up atthe school that was something newer for our
high school. And I think Iprobably boisterously really said, like, y'all,
I could do that. You wantto do a dance with a dude?
Like I could do that, nothaving a lick of dance experience to
my name, no training at all. Well that's not true. I guess
I had. I guess I hadhad some training for someone's kincion Ea like

(07:01):
three years prior, but nothing likethis. That was a group dance.
I think, for the most part, needless to say. We began practicing
for it, and boy was Igetting cooked. The shit was hard.
I would drive to her house.I'll never forget this. I would drive
to her house and be thinking tomyself, God, if you just grant

(07:24):
me the strength to get one oftwo of these steps right. Nigga thought,
just because I can mimic Usher inthe love in this club video,
that I could just walk into thisdance shit and be cold. No,
it was hard. Eventually I lockedin the steps. I learned them.

(07:45):
But then we decided, and bywe, I think she decided or maybe
she mentioned it, and again,just trying to be a cool high school
boy, I was like, Icould do that. We decided to put
a lift in a lift component,a part where she would run and leap
and I would be able to pressher above my head and hold her.

(08:07):
Now, I was a strong littlekid. You know. Again, a
college football player going on to bea college FOOTBA player should say, and
I, you know, but it'sa different level of strength, it's a
different level of practice to get thatdone. Luckily, with the help of
a science teacher at our high schoolwho was a black man that played volleyball

(08:28):
and football at an Ivy League schoolthat sponsored the dance team. We got
some fundamentals, and that was aninspiration to me because he was this person
that played volleyball, played football,was smart enough to go to an Ivy
League school that had some dance experience. I was inspired and he helped us
a lot. But it still wasn'thappening perfectly, not even close. We

(08:52):
worked on it for hours. Wewould do it in a pool to try
to help with the lift ability inthe gym on Matt's. We did everything
we could, and it was reallyme fucking it up, I'll be honest,
And once the time for the showcame around, I was nervous,
as I'll get out. I manshaking. But when the talent show actually

(09:18):
did come around right beforehand, Idon't know, There's something that hit me
right when it was time to geton the stage. It just clicked,
and I just got on my shitabout it. Something that clicked in me
that said, I felt good aboutthe fact that no one would ever think,
at the time at least that Iwould do something like this, and
I felt like that was dope,that I had chosen to do something that

(09:41):
would challenge someone's definition of me.And like this innate confidence just I don't
know it filled me. I shityou not, not to leave you hanging.
I shit you not, like ina like in a movie with adrenaline
pumping. The lift was greater andthan it had ever been anytime we'd practiced
it. It was perfect. AndI still look back on that moment and

(10:07):
those times spent practicing and all thatwent into it as a challenge and willingness
to do something different, very fondlyso on my very first Father's Day weekend,
as I learn how to guide myson better and better with each passing

(10:28):
hour, and I have to navigatethis things I tell him versus things that
I've done, things that I wanthim to do, things that he wants
to do that I don't want himto do. The people that will also
influence him him, friends, classmates, et cetera. To you, baby
boy, and to anyone else whowill hear this, I promise you,

(10:50):
if you dare to be different,something good will come of it. My
name is David Thomas, David GerrardThomas. Cheers everybody, Happy Father's Day.
Love y'all, thanks for listening,