October 19, 2023 • 28 mins
Grace has a way of turning things on its head - like pressure. Ever wondered how the pressure in our lives can turn into an opportunity, a privilege perhaps? And how it can not only challenge us but also strengthen us, allowing us to bring our best to the table? You're about to find out. In a heart-to-heart conversation with my dear friend, Ebony Gilbert, we unwrap the flow of grace in the pressures of everyday life. We navigate through the intricacies of how pressure can be a motivator, a teacher of lessons, and a reminder of our reliance on grace. Come explore with us, and learn how to view pressure as a privilege that refines us.
As we journey deeper, Ebony and I unfold the idea of privilege in pressure and trials. Pressure tests our resilience, narrows our focus on the present moment, and this is where love can always triumph. We share our experiences in the hopes it can guide you to transform your own experiences and find the courage to make the most of each moment. Engage with us in this invigorating discussion and open yourself up to the possibility that pressure, with all its challenges, can truly be a privilege, a testament to your strength and a stepping stone towards a better outcome.
Reference Queen's Under Pressure -> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a01QQZyl-_I
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:03):
Welcome to Grace Among Us, the podcast where we unearth the
many faces and places of graceand share stories of the power
of grace in our human lives.
Our desire is that this willinspire you to see grace in your
own life and share it withothers.
Carri Richard (00:18):
Hello hello, this is Carri Richard.
I'm a mindset coach and I amhere with my dear friend Ebony
Gilbert, and we are here topoint to Grace.
So hello, Ebony.
Ebony Gilbert (00:36):
Hello Carri, thank you for introducing me
here today to talk about graceagain, again and again.
You know we say we're going totalk about grace.
It could be any topic and wecould find a way to incorporate
grace into it.
We could be talking aboutstoplights, and we'll talk about
the grace of knowing when topause and when to go.
You know it doesn't matter.
(00:57):
So when we say we're going totalk about grace, it could
essentially be anything in theworld.
Carri Richard (01:05):
Yeah, I love that point, and that is the point
Ebony, Grace is everywhere andthe more that we see it in the
ordinary or in the everyday, themore we see it.
So right before we started, wekind of just say, hey, what's
(01:29):
the topic today?
I mean, that's how it is, and Iwas sharing with Ebony that I
got to watch the last two finalsof the US Open with my dad this
weekend, which is we both sharea love of tennis and played a
(01:50):
lot of tennis.
He's older now, he's 90, and soit was so much fun, just to,
you know, get to share that andyell and talk about the points
and all that.
And as the men came out intothe stadium I think it's Arthur
Ashe Stadium on the wall therewas this big plaque and the
(02:12):
camera panned by it and it hadthree words on it and it said
"pressure is privilege, it ismove forward, pressure is a
privilege, and it kind ofstopped me up short and really
it's such a beautiful statementin so many ways.
Ebony Gilbert (02:34):
And so you agree with it.
Carri Richard (02:37):
I do, and in fact I don't know that I knew I did
until I saw it, if that makessense.
It really kind of turned somethoughts on their head, which I
always enjoy.
So what I did s ee, you had abit of a reaction when I said it
(03:01):
, so I'm really interested inyour thoughts on it, Ebony.
Ebony Gilbert (03:09):
You know I'm thinking about this in real time
.
So the person who coined thisphrase and wrote the book is a
tennis player and it's outliningthe hardships and how they, you
know, turn into good things.
I think you can apply that tolife.
Yeah, I could agree.
I don't know.
(03:32):
Let me pause.
(03:36):
(Ebony - before I just jump on the bandwagon) (Carri - Great).
Ebony Gilbert (03:39):
I think pressure makes diamonds, you know, and
breaks diamonds, and it does alot of that.
I think pressure is a goodthing.
It can absolutely be a goodthing.
When I think of privilege, I'mthinking of something that we've
talked about, privilege before.
I'm thinking of something thatgives me an advantage.
I don't know if pressure givesme an advantage.
So from that perspective, Idon't feel very privileged
(04:04):
because I'm being pressured andcornered and pushed, if you will
, squashed.
I think the privileges withpressure is that I have an
opportunity to show up and fightharder.
I have an opportunity to push.
I have an opportunity toexperience this full range of
(04:28):
what's going to cause me tobring my best to the table.
So it's the privilege to beoperating in a space that forces
my best.
It doesn't feel like aprivilege and assist that I have
a leg up.
Carri Richard (04:41):
Yeah, I hadn't thought about it from that
perspective.
Ebony Gilbert (04:45):
Okay, react.
Carri Richard (04:47):
And the reaction is - so that's really
interesting, like the idea ofprivilege being an advantage.
And what really struck me is -what came first was, there are
different kinds of pressure andI can and I'm going to say
culturally we talk aboutpressure not being a good thing
(05:12):
Like, and I can go to the placeif I'm under pressure, like
everything should be easy.
Right, there's a whole thingout there that says everything
should be easy and if it's noteasy there's something wrong,
and I don't agree with that.
Ebony Gilbert (05:30):
I agree with you there.
Carri Richard (05:31):
Okay, okay, cool, and it's.
It's pressure from what?
Because I can put amazingpressure on myself and a lot of
the times when I'm doing that,To be honest, sometimes I don't
(05:53):
know if it's a lot of timesthese days it's to look good,
it's the pressure to look okay,it's the worldly pressure, if
that makes sense.
Okay, (Ebony - external),exactly External.
I want to be liked, I want tolook good, I want it to look
good.
That egoic pressure I wouldcall it.
(06:15):
And sometimes I'm under the gunfrom life, and I don't mean I'm
a victim of life, but you know,God walks me through things
that are not pleasant and I canmake a decision that that kind
(06:43):
of pressure is a privilege fromthe perspective that as I walk
through it I always learn moreand usually the outcome is
better than I could imagine if Istay the course.
Thank you.
Ebony Gilbert (07:06):
Is it like a privilege?
Carri Richard (07:10):
It feels like privilege on the other side of
the hall.
I really had never.
I had never, I don't think upuntil Saturday I would have
called pressure a privilege.
Ebony Gilbert (07:24):
It's like the testing of your, your patience.
You know what I mean.
Like trials perfect yourpatience.
The trial doesn't feel like aprivilege, (Carri - nope), Even
though we're told to count itall joy when you fall into the,
you know, the trials andtribulations of life.
That doesn't feel like aprivilege, but my patience is
being perfected.
My long suffering is giving meresilience and discernment and
(07:45):
wisdom.
So on similar parallels hereprivilege, pressure, trials,
patience you know what I mean.
At the time it doesn't feelthat way and now the song "nder
pressure by Queen, the voice,like pla ying in my mind very
loud.
You know like it's just.
(08:05):
But um, yeah, I've neverthought of pressure as a good
thing.
Carri Richard (08:17):
And I love.
One of my favorite statementsis "up until now.
Up until now, I absolutelyagree with you that it doesn't
feel good in the midst andpressure does not feel like a
privilege when I'm actually inthe squeeze of it and I can.
(08:37):
Now I have this new mentalimage when I'm under pressure,
that what if it is a privilege?
Ebony Gilbert (08:44):
What if it is yeah?
What if I get curious aboutthis and I see the grace in it?
Carri Richard (08:50):
Mm, hmm.
Ebony Gilbert (08:50):
Yes, and I put my grace glasses on and I zoom out
a little bit and I can see thispressure is a controlled burn.
Let's just pull everything fromthe past back into this one,
right?
Yeah, I'm in the hallway, it'sa controlled burn.
I got my grace glasses on andthis pressure is allowing me to
see through these glasses that Ihave these tools.
(09:12):
Yes, that I can access that Imay not have accessed or even
seen if this pressure wasn'tcrushing me just a little bit.
Carri Richard (09:21):
Yes.
Ebony Gilbert (09:24):
So this crushing is now giving me superpowers.
Carri Richard (09:33):
And vision.
Ebony Gilbert (09:35):
You know, it's like people who you know go to
rescue folks from car accidentsand all suddenly they can lift
the car.
Carri Richard (09:41):
Absolutely.
Ebony Gilbert (09:42):
The pressure has given me an enormous amount of
strength.
That maybe was already there,but I didn't have time in the
moment to dissect whether I canor can't, because the pressure
says act, mm hmm.
So okay, I'm talking myselfinto it.
Now I'm feeling a groove, nowI'm getting there.
I'm getting there.
The pressure to fight, thepressure to lose big or win big,
(10:08):
the pressure to.
I have to decide right now whatI'm going to do, and I'm going
to do it in faith and movinggrace.
And without this pressure Idon't have this opportunity and
in that sense it's an absoluteprivilege.
Carri Richard (10:20):
Absolutely.
You know what.
Another piece of the oh yes,I'm so glad we're on the we're
on the people mover.
Ebony Gilbert (10:27):
It took us a couple seconds, yes.
Carri Richard (10:31):
I'm like I used to.
I used to say, like when I wasin a high pressure, like
something that felt very life ordeath or very risky.
It's almost like everythingslows down, Like like I, I don't
have space to like think aboutmuch else except for that.
(10:54):
Does that make sense?
I don't know if I'm explainingit, but part of that privilege
is a lot of the distractions.
Like I have the ability to havediscernment at that time.
Sometimes the thing is so bigthat it kind of right sizes all
the ankle biters, kind of putsthem to the side to like move
(11:17):
through this piece, this highpressure situation.
It narrows your focusAbsolutely, Absolutely so now my
eyes are fixed.
Ebony Gilbert (11:27):
Yes, on where I need to go.
Carri Richard (11:29):
Yes, they can be.
They can be because I have alsobeen in a high pressure
situation like that and run forthe hills.
Well, it's fight or flight,right, and that flight has never
worked out well for me, almostnever.
Ebony Gilbert (11:51):
Because I mean the pressure could make you win
big, so you're going to giveyour best, or you can lose big
because you just don't show up.
Yeah, I think - do you have anexample of a situation in your
life that felt like enormousamounts of pressure but you
showed up as your best self,that you had even seen before,
(12:13):
like you shocked yourself abouthow you showed up.
Carri Richard (12:17):
Yeah, it's not that long ago.
The situation is, you know,with the death of my son's
father.
I mean, we had a verytumultuous breakup, tumultuous
relationship and it was thepressure, you know.
(12:46):
And also I had a young adult,not quite an adult, but a young
man who was grieving his father.
So I had a choice and you knowI call this by God's grace, I
(13:08):
got to stay focused.
My focus narrowed not to allthe stories and all the past and
that did it and the stuff.
My focus narrowed to walkingthis young man through the death
of a parent.
And what happened is all thatwas, there was love.
(13:31):
I could show up as the person,the young person who you know,
was madly in love with this man,and all that other stuff could
fall away and so I could show upas that person and it was.
(13:52):
It is a gift because lovealways wins and so always,
always, always.
And so that pressure, all of it,and that pressure actually
allowed me to acknowledge, likethe relationship, that we didn't
(14:13):
have and that, you know, thisbeautiful, beautiful human being
that came as a result of thatrelationship.
Ebony Gilbert (14:27):
It feels like a privilege.
Carri Richard (14:29):
It is absolutely a privilege, and that is that
transformation of that entireexperience over a long time that
I could not have done that onmy own.
Ebony Gilbert (14:43):
I'm in a semi new role at work right now this is
just the most current thing iscoming to mind, certainly not
the biggest or most important.
They're, they're all.
They're all.
I don't know.
I just want to say, with grace,it's not big or small.
Carri Richard (15:09):
I don't know.
I just want to say, with grace,it's not big or small,
important, not important, it'sall.
Ebony Gilbert (15:16):
That's a good reminder, thank you.
It's kind of been a new role asthe interim assignment until
things get finalized and I feelan enormous amount of pressure.
An enormous amount of pressureto make sure no ball gets
dropped, to make sure I'mshowing up as my authentic self
(15:38):
and I'm still meeting theexpectation.
Because anytime you step into arole where somebody else has
been in that role, people areaccustomed to things being done
one way and you have to navigatethis transition to maintaining
the good and slowlytransitioning things that could
be done better and still beingyourself and putting your own
stamp on it.
So I feel a lot of pressure, alot of pressure.
(15:59):
At the same time that I'm inthis role, one of my leaders is
newly appointed, so there's adifference to the expectations
for the role in general.
But I can say this this iswhere I'm going with this.
The pressure that I feel isdaily, it's unrelenting, and
none of my regular work hasstopped.
So my calendar is still full,I'm still very busy, I still
(16:21):
have all these direct reports, Istill have a lot of
responsibility, but I have been.
The pressure has allowed me toshow up on my A game, because I
don't have time not to be on it.
So I am showing up with morefocus, more clarity.
I don't have time to bedistracted.
I don't have time to multitaskthroughout the day.
(16:43):
I've got to show up as 100%,eight to 10 hours a day and
there's no room for anythingless.
Without this pressure I was ableto kind of skate through the
day.
It was kind of mundane.
I do my best if it required it.
If it didn't, task is done, jobis done, strategic approach
(17:04):
gets done.
Everybody's happy.
We go home at the end of theday, home by y'all.
That's not the situation rightnow.
The pressure is forcing me tospeak up when I wouldn't
otherwise speak up.
It's forcing me to say, hey, Igot to correct that.
In the moment.
I can't just let it go andthink somebody else is going to
do it.
And now I'm that person.
The pressure is making me lookat things and evaluate things
(17:27):
out loud.
That I may have thoughtsilently before, but I'll take a
pass, you know.
Carri Richard (17:37):
There are no passes now.
Ebony Gilbert (17:40):
So I feel like I'm showing up as my best self,
the best employee, the bestleader, the best everything,
because there's no room not tobe, and it's a privilege to be
given the opportunity to do this.
It's a privilege to get to knowmyself in a way that even I
(18:01):
wasn't sure if it was possible.
You know how you getcomfortable.
You know and you know you cando better, but you don't have to
.
Carri Richard (18:12):
I have a friend who references that as a
fur-lined rut.
It's no bueno.
Ebony Gilbert (18:23):
Yeah, I'm being really transparent here.
It's acceptable laziness yeah,because nobody knows you're
being lazy, nobody knows whatyou do.
But nobody knows.
Nobody knows that you're 75% ischecking the box and meeting
the mark, especially if you're75% is still 25% more than what
(18:46):
the baseline is offering.
So you know, I had this habitof normalizing acceptable
laziness no more.
So that's a privilege and itforces me to walk in the grace
(19:08):
with myself, with others, and Idon't have time to pontificate
about it.
Go ahead.
Carri Richard (19:16):
I think you've nailed it.
I mean all the- So I love theexample, and it is a privilege
and it allows us to focus, andit also you were talking about.
I don't know if I could do this, I don't know if I could do all
this, and it puts us in thisplace where, at least for me, I
can't do it without the grace ofGod, I cannot do it.
Ebony Gilbert (19:42):
Would you pray without the pressure?
Carri Richard (19:44):
No, If I was la-di-da, unicorns and rainbows,
I would not be havingconversations with you about
grace, like what would be thepoint, the end.
I don't want to be at 75% of mylife.
I've been given this life andlike I want to be at 100%, even
(20:09):
though I don't always feel thatway.
But as we talk about it from abroad perspective, why would I
not?
Ebony Gilbert (20:20):
And it shocks yourself.
Carri Richard (20:21):
Yes, it's like oh my gosh, because when you get
to the end of the hall it's likeholy moly.
You get to look back and seeall the effects of grace and
being courageous and curious andopen and just doing.
(20:43):
We talk about guided steps,right?
Just the next step.
I don't know where the end ofthe hall is.
No clue.
And the more I want to knowwhere the end of the hall is,
the more stuck in the hall I am.
Ebony Gilbert (20:55):
And it reminds me of the whole sufficient of the
worries of the day.
I have too much pressure todayto worry about what I'm going to
wear tomorrow.
I've got to focus on what'shappening now.
I've got to focus on my meetingtoo.
I've got to focus on the factthat I've got 30 minutes to
squeeze in the whole lunch break.
I'm focusing on things todayand I'll let tomorrow worry
(21:16):
about it.
So that doesn't mean there's noplanning.
That doesn't mean I'mneglecting self care.
It doesn't mean that I'm goingto go stroke out because I'm
doing too much.
None of those things.
Everything has its place, right, right.
But I've got to worry aboutright now, and I even worry
Worries are the wrong word I'vegot to deal with today.
Carri Richard (21:33):
You have to I've got to move and shake in today.
Yeah, show up to it today.
And I love what you're saying,because you're not saying that
strength comes in it being aprivilege.
My day is full, but nobody -like the world is not doing it
(21:58):
to me.
Right in every challenge thatcomes along like I can ask for
grace, and every time I do itworks out best.
Ebony Gilbert (22:20):
The pressure strengthens your prayer life.
You know, I've got to be inlockstep with those guided steps
.
I've got to be in lockstep withwhat God is saying to me today
and how he's speaking through me, Because you made a good point
earlier I can't do it on my own.
I would need a nap.
Carri Richard (22:41):
Or five, you know for myself.
Ebony Gilbert (22:42):
It would be, as soon as six o'clock hits.
I would have to just go laydown cuz I wouldn't be able to
function.
There's no way I could do it bymyself, not based on who I know
myself to be.
But if I operate in a space ofguided steps and the Lord is
blessing this and he has hishand on me and he protects me
and there is no weapon that'sgonna prosper against me.
(23:03):
It'll form, but it won'tprosper.
If I operate in this space Now,my spiritual life is
strengthened, I'm.
A relationship with God isstrengthened.
I'm not connectedness with thesmall voice in my ears, more is
more clear and I'm moving in away that's purposeful and
intentional and Without fluff.
Carri Richard (23:29):
It's a lot more fun.
I know this is - I call a lotof things fun, so (Ebony- it's
fulfilling.
I'll tell you that) that's areally good word, that's a great
word.
It is fulfilling and itcontinues to expand.
Ebony Gilbert (23:53):
It's like the sweet spot.
You know like I'm in my zone.
Now, is this sustainable?
Carri Richard (24:04):
This too shall pass.
Ebony Gilbert (24:06):
Thank God.
Carri Richard (24:06):
Yeah.
Ebony Gilbert (24:10):
Thank God.
So you know, pressure, theprivilege, I don't because
intended to be in every day, allday, for the rest of your life
situation, but in seasons.
Carri Richard (24:20):
Absolutely, and I think it's a, it's a beautiful
pair of glasses that I'm goingto, I'm gonna use moving forward
.
Ebony Gilbert (24:31):
Oh, that's good.
Carri Richard (24:34):
With my sweet dad , which is another privilege,
right that came through grace tohave that relationship so.
Ebony Gilbert (24:44):
I like it.
I like it.
Pressures is a priviledge.
I'll take it.
Me too, I'll take it.
It's a good one Carri.
Thank you.
Carri Richard (24:59):
Yeah, thank you, thanks for thanks for going
along for the ride and yeah, allall the ideas, the examples,
and I'm cheering you on in yourInterim pressure that's going on
(25:21):
.
Ebony Gilbert (25:23):
And I'm encouraged by the fact that you
allow yourself to show updifferently under pressure In a
personal situation.
I get paid to do this at work,so it you know there's been
incentive there, but you makethe choice in your personal life
(25:44):
.
There's obviously incentivesthere as well, but it's a little
bit different.
It's more of a choice, andthat's pretty commendable.
Well, thank you.
Carri Richard (25:55):
I think you've chosen to show up better.
Oh, man, and you know what thecurrency is.
It's not money, but it's peace.
It's peace and it's also IDon't want to pass on
bitterness- Now you said amouthful there.
Ebony Gilbert (26:15):
Peace is currency .
Carri Richard (26:20):
Pressure is a privilege and peace is currency.
Ebony Gilbert (26:24):
Yes, it is.
Carri Richard (26:24):
I think we've done did it.
Ebony Gilbert (26:26):
Find your peace in the pressure.
Yes but you can only getthrough guiding steps and
connectivity and Faith.
Faith Hope.
Carri Richard (26:39):
Yes, you are not doing it alone.
Ebony Gilbert (26:42):
There's something else at the end of the hall.
This too shall pass all thosethings.
Carri Richard (26:47):
Yes, grace is always accessible, especially in
the pressure.
Yes, so may you all find gracein the pressure that you're
experiencing today.
Ebony Gilbert (27:02):
In the pressure under pressure, if you're the
one creating the pressure.
Carri Richard (27:09):
Yeah, we could do a part two on this when you're
the pressure.
Yes, exactly, that's a wholedifferent conversation.
Totally, we started dipping ourtoe in that and I'm glad you
brought it back around.
So, yeah, stay tuned, stay.
So.
Thank you here.
Thank you, have any, as always,and I think that's it, sorry,
(27:33):
all right, grace out, grace out.
(27:37):
Thank you so much for joining us.
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We hope you're leaving withanother pointer to grace, a new
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Until next time, be well, bebold, be kind to yourself and be
(27:59):
on the lookout.
Welcome to Grace Among Us, the podcast where we unearth the
many faces and places of graceand share stories of the power
of grace in our human lives.
Our desire is that this willinspire you to see grace in your
own life and share it withothers.
Carri Richard (00:18):
Hello hello, this is Carri Richard.
I'm a mindset coach and I amhere with my dear friend Ebony
Gilbert, and we are here topoint to Grace.
So hello, Ebony.
Ebony Gilbert (00:36):
Hello Carri, thank you for introducing me
here today to talk about graceagain, again and again.
You know we say we're going totalk about grace.
It could be any topic and wecould find a way to incorporate
grace into it.
We could be talking aboutstoplights, and we'll talk about
the grace of knowing when topause and when to go.
You know it doesn't matter.
(00:57):
So when we say we're going totalk about grace, it could
essentially be anything in theworld.
Carri Richard (01:05):
Yeah, I love that point, and that is the point
Ebony, Grace is everywhere andthe more that we see it in the
ordinary or in the everyday, themore we see it.
So right before we started, wekind of just say, hey, what's
(01:29):
the topic today?
I mean, that's how it is, and Iwas sharing with Ebony that I
got to watch the last two finalsof the US Open with my dad this
weekend, which is we both sharea love of tennis and played a
(01:50):
lot of tennis.
He's older now, he's 90, and soit was so much fun, just to,
you know, get to share that andyell and talk about the points
and all that.
And as the men came out intothe stadium I think it's Arthur
Ashe Stadium on the wall therewas this big plaque and the
(02:12):
camera panned by it and it hadthree words on it and it said
"pressure is privilege, it ismove forward, pressure is a
privilege, and it kind ofstopped me up short and really
it's such a beautiful statementin so many ways.
Ebony Gilbert (02:34):
And so you agree with it.
Carri Richard (02:37):
I do, and in fact I don't know that I knew I did
until I saw it, if that makessense.
It really kind of turned somethoughts on their head, which I
always enjoy.
So what I did s ee, you had abit of a reaction when I said it
(03:01):
, so I'm really interested inyour thoughts on it, Ebony.
Ebony Gilbert (03:09):
You know I'm thinking about this in real time
.
So the person who coined thisphrase and wrote the book is a
tennis player and it's outliningthe hardships and how they, you
know, turn into good things.
I think you can apply that tolife.
Yeah, I could agree.
I don't know.
(03:32):
Let me pause.
(03:36):
(Ebony - before I just jump on the bandwagon) (Carri - Great).
Ebony Gilbert (03:39):
I think pressure makes diamonds, you know, and
breaks diamonds, and it does alot of that.
I think pressure is a goodthing.
It can absolutely be a goodthing.
When I think of privilege, I'mthinking of something that we've
talked about, privilege before.
I'm thinking of something thatgives me an advantage.
I don't know if pressure givesme an advantage.
So from that perspective, Idon't feel very privileged
(04:04):
because I'm being pressured andcornered and pushed, if you will
, squashed.
I think the privileges withpressure is that I have an
opportunity to show up and fightharder.
I have an opportunity to push.
I have an opportunity toexperience this full range of
(04:28):
what's going to cause me tobring my best to the table.
So it's the privilege to beoperating in a space that forces
my best.
It doesn't feel like aprivilege and assist that I have
a leg up.
Carri Richard (04:41):
Yeah, I hadn't thought about it from that
perspective.
Ebony Gilbert (04:45):
Okay, react.
Carri Richard (04:47):
And the reaction is - so that's really
interesting, like the idea ofprivilege being an advantage.
And what really struck me is -what came first was, there are
different kinds of pressure andI can and I'm going to say
culturally we talk aboutpressure not being a good thing
(05:12):
Like, and I can go to the placeif I'm under pressure, like
everything should be easy.
Right, there's a whole thingout there that says everything
should be easy and if it's noteasy there's something wrong,
and I don't agree with that.
Ebony Gilbert (05:30):
I agree with you there.
Carri Richard (05:31):
Okay, okay, cool, and it's.
It's pressure from what?
Because I can put amazingpressure on myself and a lot of
the times when I'm doing that,To be honest, sometimes I don't
(05:53):
know if it's a lot of timesthese days it's to look good,
it's the pressure to look okay,it's the worldly pressure, if
that makes sense.
Okay, (Ebony - external),exactly External.
I want to be liked, I want tolook good, I want it to look
good.
That egoic pressure I wouldcall it.
(06:15):
And sometimes I'm under the gunfrom life, and I don't mean I'm
a victim of life, but you know,God walks me through things
that are not pleasant and I canmake a decision that that kind
(06:43):
of pressure is a privilege fromthe perspective that as I walk
through it I always learn moreand usually the outcome is
better than I could imagine if Istay the course.
Thank you.
Ebony Gilbert (07:06):
Is it like a privilege?
Carri Richard (07:10):
It feels like privilege on the other side of
the hall.
I really had never.
I had never, I don't think upuntil Saturday I would have
called pressure a privilege.
Ebony Gilbert (07:24):
It's like the testing of your, your patience.
You know what I mean.
Like trials perfect yourpatience.
The trial doesn't feel like aprivilege, (Carri - nope), Even
though we're told to count itall joy when you fall into the,
you know, the trials andtribulations of life.
That doesn't feel like aprivilege, but my patience is
being perfected.
My long suffering is giving meresilience and discernment and
(07:45):
wisdom.
So on similar parallels hereprivilege, pressure, trials,
patience you know what I mean.
At the time it doesn't feelthat way and now the song "nder
pressure by Queen, the voice,like pla ying in my mind very
loud.
You know like it's just.
(08:05):
But um, yeah, I've neverthought of pressure as a good
thing.
Carri Richard (08:17):
And I love.
One of my favorite statementsis "up until now.
Up until now, I absolutelyagree with you that it doesn't
feel good in the midst andpressure does not feel like a
privilege when I'm actually inthe squeeze of it and I can.
(08:37):
Now I have this new mentalimage when I'm under pressure,
that what if it is a privilege?
Ebony Gilbert (08:44):
What if it is yeah?
What if I get curious aboutthis and I see the grace in it?
Carri Richard (08:50):
Mm, hmm.
Ebony Gilbert (08:50):
Yes, and I put my grace glasses on and I zoom out
a little bit and I can see thispressure is a controlled burn.
Let's just pull everything fromthe past back into this one,
right?
Yeah, I'm in the hallway, it'sa controlled burn.
I got my grace glasses on andthis pressure is allowing me to
see through these glasses that Ihave these tools.
(09:12):
Yes, that I can access that Imay not have accessed or even
seen if this pressure wasn'tcrushing me just a little bit.
Carri Richard (09:21):
Yes.
Ebony Gilbert (09:24):
So this crushing is now giving me superpowers.
Carri Richard (09:33):
And vision.
Ebony Gilbert (09:35):
You know, it's like people who you know go to
rescue folks from car accidentsand all suddenly they can lift
the car.
Carri Richard (09:41):
Absolutely.
Ebony Gilbert (09:42):
The pressure has given me an enormous amount of
strength.
That maybe was already there,but I didn't have time in the
moment to dissect whether I canor can't, because the pressure
says act, mm hmm.
So okay, I'm talking myselfinto it.
Now I'm feeling a groove, nowI'm getting there.
I'm getting there.
The pressure to fight, thepressure to lose big or win big,
(10:08):
the pressure to.
I have to decide right now whatI'm going to do, and I'm going
to do it in faith and movinggrace.
And without this pressure Idon't have this opportunity and
in that sense it's an absoluteprivilege.
Carri Richard (10:20):
Absolutely.
You know what.
Another piece of the oh yes,I'm so glad we're on the we're
on the people mover.
Ebony Gilbert (10:27):
It took us a couple seconds, yes.
Carri Richard (10:31):
I'm like I used to.
I used to say, like when I wasin a high pressure, like
something that felt very life ordeath or very risky.
It's almost like everythingslows down, Like like I, I don't
have space to like think aboutmuch else except for that.
(10:54):
Does that make sense?
I don't know if I'm explainingit, but part of that privilege
is a lot of the distractions.
Like I have the ability to havediscernment at that time.
Sometimes the thing is so bigthat it kind of right sizes all
the ankle biters, kind of putsthem to the side to like move
(11:17):
through this piece, this highpressure situation.
It narrows your focusAbsolutely, Absolutely so now my
eyes are fixed.
Ebony Gilbert (11:27):
Yes, on where I need to go.
Carri Richard (11:29):
Yes, they can be.
They can be because I have alsobeen in a high pressure
situation like that and run forthe hills.
Well, it's fight or flight,right, and that flight has never
worked out well for me, almostnever.
Ebony Gilbert (11:51):
Because I mean the pressure could make you win
big, so you're going to giveyour best, or you can lose big
because you just don't show up.
Yeah, I think - do you have anexample of a situation in your
life that felt like enormousamounts of pressure but you
showed up as your best self,that you had even seen before,
(12:13):
like you shocked yourself abouthow you showed up.
Carri Richard (12:17):
Yeah, it's not that long ago.
The situation is, you know,with the death of my son's
father.
I mean, we had a verytumultuous breakup, tumultuous
relationship and it was thepressure, you know.
(12:46):
And also I had a young adult,not quite an adult, but a young
man who was grieving his father.
So I had a choice and you knowI call this by God's grace, I
(13:08):
got to stay focused.
My focus narrowed not to allthe stories and all the past and
that did it and the stuff.
My focus narrowed to walkingthis young man through the death
of a parent.
And what happened is all thatwas, there was love.
(13:31):
I could show up as the person,the young person who you know,
was madly in love with this man,and all that other stuff could
fall away and so I could show upas that person and it was.
(13:52):
It is a gift because lovealways wins and so always,
always, always.
And so that pressure, all of it,and that pressure actually
allowed me to acknowledge, likethe relationship, that we didn't
(14:13):
have and that, you know, thisbeautiful, beautiful human being
that came as a result of thatrelationship.
Ebony Gilbert (14:27):
It feels like a privilege.
Carri Richard (14:29):
It is absolutely a privilege, and that is that
transformation of that entireexperience over a long time that
I could not have done that onmy own.
Ebony Gilbert (14:43):
I'm in a semi new role at work right now this is
just the most current thing iscoming to mind, certainly not
the biggest or most important.
They're, they're all.
They're all.
I don't know.
I just want to say, with grace,it's not big or small.
Carri Richard (15:09):
I don't know.
I just want to say, with grace,it's not big or small,
important, not important, it'sall.
Ebony Gilbert (15:16):
That's a good reminder, thank you.
It's kind of been a new role asthe interim assignment until
things get finalized and I feelan enormous amount of pressure.
An enormous amount of pressureto make sure no ball gets
dropped, to make sure I'mshowing up as my authentic self
(15:38):
and I'm still meeting theexpectation.
Because anytime you step into arole where somebody else has
been in that role, people areaccustomed to things being done
one way and you have to navigatethis transition to maintaining
the good and slowlytransitioning things that could
be done better and still beingyourself and putting your own
stamp on it.
So I feel a lot of pressure, alot of pressure.
(15:59):
At the same time that I'm inthis role, one of my leaders is
newly appointed, so there's adifference to the expectations
for the role in general.
But I can say this this iswhere I'm going with this.
The pressure that I feel isdaily, it's unrelenting, and
none of my regular work hasstopped.
So my calendar is still full,I'm still very busy, I still
(16:21):
have all these direct reports, Istill have a lot of
responsibility, but I have been.
The pressure has allowed me toshow up on my A game, because I
don't have time not to be on it.
So I am showing up with morefocus, more clarity.
I don't have time to bedistracted.
I don't have time to multitaskthroughout the day.
(16:43):
I've got to show up as 100%,eight to 10 hours a day and
there's no room for anythingless.
Without this pressure I was ableto kind of skate through the
day.
It was kind of mundane.
I do my best if it required it.
If it didn't, task is done, jobis done, strategic approach
(17:04):
gets done.
Everybody's happy.
We go home at the end of theday, home by y'all.
That's not the situation rightnow.
The pressure is forcing me tospeak up when I wouldn't
otherwise speak up.
It's forcing me to say, hey, Igot to correct that.
In the moment.
I can't just let it go andthink somebody else is going to
do it.
And now I'm that person.
The pressure is making me lookat things and evaluate things
(17:27):
out loud.
That I may have thoughtsilently before, but I'll take a
pass, you know.
Carri Richard (17:37):
There are no passes now.
Ebony Gilbert (17:40):
So I feel like I'm showing up as my best self,
the best employee, the bestleader, the best everything,
because there's no room not tobe, and it's a privilege to be
given the opportunity to do this.
It's a privilege to get to knowmyself in a way that even I
(18:01):
wasn't sure if it was possible.
You know how you getcomfortable.
You know and you know you cando better, but you don't have to
.
Carri Richard (18:12):
I have a friend who references that as a
fur-lined rut.
It's no bueno.
Ebony Gilbert (18:23):
Yeah, I'm being really transparent here.
It's acceptable laziness yeah,because nobody knows you're
being lazy, nobody knows whatyou do.
But nobody knows.
Nobody knows that you're 75% ischecking the box and meeting
the mark, especially if you're75% is still 25% more than what
(18:46):
the baseline is offering.
So you know, I had this habitof normalizing acceptable
laziness no more.
So that's a privilege and itforces me to walk in the grace
(19:08):
with myself, with others, and Idon't have time to pontificate
about it.
Go ahead.
Carri Richard (19:16):
I think you've nailed it.
I mean all the- So I love theexample, and it is a privilege
and it allows us to focus, andit also you were talking about.
I don't know if I could do this, I don't know if I could do all
this, and it puts us in thisplace where, at least for me, I
can't do it without the grace ofGod, I cannot do it.
Ebony Gilbert (19:42):
Would you pray without the pressure?
Carri Richard (19:44):
No, If I was la-di-da, unicorns and rainbows,
I would not be havingconversations with you about
grace, like what would be thepoint, the end.
I don't want to be at 75% of mylife.
I've been given this life andlike I want to be at 100%, even
(20:09):
though I don't always feel thatway.
But as we talk about it from abroad perspective, why would I
not?
Ebony Gilbert (20:20):
And it shocks yourself.
Carri Richard (20:21):
Yes, it's like oh my gosh, because when you get
to the end of the hall it's likeholy moly.
You get to look back and seeall the effects of grace and
being courageous and curious andopen and just doing.
(20:43):
We talk about guided steps,right?
Just the next step.
I don't know where the end ofthe hall is.
No clue.
And the more I want to knowwhere the end of the hall is,
the more stuck in the hall I am.
Ebony Gilbert (20:55):
And it reminds me of the whole sufficient of the
worries of the day.
I have too much pressure todayto worry about what I'm going to
wear tomorrow.
I've got to focus on what'shappening now.
I've got to focus on my meetingtoo.
I've got to focus on the factthat I've got 30 minutes to
squeeze in the whole lunch break.
I'm focusing on things todayand I'll let tomorrow worry
(21:16):
about it.
So that doesn't mean there's noplanning.
That doesn't mean I'mneglecting self care.
It doesn't mean that I'm goingto go stroke out because I'm
doing too much.
None of those things.
Everything has its place, right, right.
But I've got to worry aboutright now, and I even worry
Worries are the wrong word I'vegot to deal with today.
Carri Richard (21:33):
You have to I've got to move and shake in today.
Yeah, show up to it today.
And I love what you're saying,because you're not saying that
strength comes in it being aprivilege.
My day is full, but nobody -like the world is not doing it
(21:58):
to me.
Right in every challenge thatcomes along like I can ask for
grace, and every time I do itworks out best.
Ebony Gilbert (22:20):
The pressure strengthens your prayer life.
You know, I've got to be inlockstep with those guided steps
.
I've got to be in lockstep withwhat God is saying to me today
and how he's speaking through me, Because you made a good point
earlier I can't do it on my own.
I would need a nap.
Carri Richard (22:41):
Or five, you know for myself.
Ebony Gilbert (22:42):
It would be, as soon as six o'clock hits.
I would have to just go laydown cuz I wouldn't be able to
function.
There's no way I could do it bymyself, not based on who I know
myself to be.
But if I operate in a space ofguided steps and the Lord is
blessing this and he has hishand on me and he protects me
and there is no weapon that'sgonna prosper against me.
(23:03):
It'll form, but it won'tprosper.
If I operate in this space Now,my spiritual life is
strengthened, I'm.
A relationship with God isstrengthened.
I'm not connectedness with thesmall voice in my ears, more is
more clear and I'm moving in away that's purposeful and
intentional and Without fluff.
Carri Richard (23:29):
It's a lot more fun.
I know this is - I call a lotof things fun, so (Ebony- it's
fulfilling.
I'll tell you that) that's areally good word, that's a great
word.
It is fulfilling and itcontinues to expand.
Ebony Gilbert (23:53):
It's like the sweet spot.
You know like I'm in my zone.
Now, is this sustainable?
Carri Richard (24:04):
This too shall pass.
Ebony Gilbert (24:06):
Thank God.
Carri Richard (24:06):
Yeah.
Ebony Gilbert (24:10):
Thank God.
So you know, pressure, theprivilege, I don't because
intended to be in every day, allday, for the rest of your life
situation, but in seasons.
Carri Richard (24:20):
Absolutely, and I think it's a, it's a beautiful
pair of glasses that I'm goingto, I'm gonna use moving forward
.
Ebony Gilbert (24:31):
Oh, that's good.
Carri Richard (24:34):
With my sweet dad , which is another privilege,
right that came through grace tohave that relationship so.
Ebony Gilbert (24:44):
I like it.
I like it.
Pressures is a priviledge.
I'll take it.
Me too, I'll take it.
It's a good one Carri.
Thank you.
Carri Richard (24:59):
Yeah, thank you, thanks for thanks for going
along for the ride and yeah, allall the ideas, the examples,
and I'm cheering you on in yourInterim pressure that's going on
(25:21):
.
Ebony Gilbert (25:23):
And I'm encouraged by the fact that you
allow yourself to show updifferently under pressure In a
personal situation.
I get paid to do this at work,so it you know there's been
incentive there, but you makethe choice in your personal life
(25:44):
.
There's obviously incentivesthere as well, but it's a little
bit different.
It's more of a choice, andthat's pretty commendable.
Well, thank you.
Carri Richard (25:55):
I think you've chosen to show up better.
Oh, man, and you know what thecurrency is.
It's not money, but it's peace.
It's peace and it's also IDon't want to pass on
bitterness- Now you said amouthful there.
Ebony Gilbert (26:15):
Peace is currency .
Carri Richard (26:20):
Pressure is a privilege and peace is currency.
Ebony Gilbert (26:24):
Yes, it is.
Carri Richard (26:24):
I think we've done did it.
Ebony Gilbert (26:26):
Find your peace in the pressure.
Yes but you can only getthrough guiding steps and
connectivity and Faith.
Faith Hope.
Carri Richard (26:39):
Yes, you are not doing it alone.
Ebony Gilbert (26:42):
There's something else at the end of the hall.
This too shall pass all thosethings.
Carri Richard (26:47):
Yes, grace is always accessible, especially in
the pressure.
Yes, so may you all find gracein the pressure that you're
experiencing today.
Ebony Gilbert (27:02):
In the pressure under pressure, if you're the
one creating the pressure.
Carri Richard (27:09):
Yeah, we could do a part two on this when you're
the pressure.
Yes, exactly, that's a wholedifferent conversation.
Totally, we started dipping ourtoe in that and I'm glad you
brought it back around.
So, yeah, stay tuned, stay.
So.
Thank you here.
Thank you, have any, as always,and I think that's it, sorry,
(27:33):
all right, grace out, grace out.
(27:37):
Thank you so much for joining us.
If you enjoyed this episode,please let us know.
We love to hear from you andshare it with a friend.
Also, please be sure tosubscribe so you're notified
when a new episode is posted.
We hope you're leaving withanother pointer to grace, a new
perspective that will light itup in your own life.
Until next time, be well, bebold, be kind to yourself and be
(27:59):
on the lookout.
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