March 7, 2024 • 35 mins
Pastor Nick Connolly is joining us to chat about choosing persistence in a world of overwhelming resistance. With each wave of resistance in life, it can be so tempting
to simply give up. If this is where you find yourself, take heart. Nick Connolly has also been there, and he wants to help others find the motivation and encouragement to keep going. In this episode, we also discuss strengthening our faith during a struggle and spiritual warfare. This is an enlightening episode filled with practical wisdom. I hope you’ll listen in.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to Gracefield Grit.
I'm your host, lana Stinner,and we are chatting all about
growing your faith, family andthe backyard farm.
Here at the GracefieldHomestead, we are having honest,
hard and authenticconversations with some amazing
guests about getting back to thebasics and what's important in
life.
We are not for everyone and wedon't clean up our conversations
(00:29):
, so you will get the uneditedchat Each episode.
You can expect practical tipsand encouragement.
I am so honored to have youjoin us today, so grab a cup of
coffee and let's do this thing.
Hey, friends, welcome back tothe Gracefield Grit podcast.
Today, pastor Nick Connolly isjoining us.
(00:49):
Nick is the pastor at BrightCity Church and the author of
his new book.
Don't Give Up Just Yet.
Welcome, nick.
We are so glad to have you joinus today.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
It's so great to be here.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yeah, I would love for our friends here online to
get to know you a little bitbetter.
Do you mind sharing a littlebit about yourself?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Absolutely not.
My name is Nick and I live inthe wonderful city of Charleston
, south Carolina, and I havefour kids.
They're 17, 16, 15, and 11.
We lead a church in Charleston,south Carolina my wife and I
call Bright City Church, andit's about 10 years old.
(01:30):
Usually most of that keeps usbusy, but then we added other
stuff to that.
My wife leads a wonderfulcompany called Go and Tell Gals
and we've had severalentrepreneurial businesses along
the way.
We keep a full plate here inthe Connolly household.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I love it.
Four kids, God bless you.
I have four kids.
That's enough in itself.
I am 17.
Is that high school?
Are you going into thegraduating season or are you
going to have another year left?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
We're getting there.
We actually just got back forsome college visits and so this
is a whole new world.
A whole new world the teens.
I feel like you and I need tohave a separate podcast therapy
session to talk through that.
Maybe not right on this one,but I'm learning a lot.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah, it is Me and kids.
There's nothing better.
While it was so hard and toughwhen they're little toddlers,
mine, I only have one left athome.
I have three boys and a girl,and my boys are all out into the
world and live nearby andmarried and grandkids.
And then I have my daughter isjust finishing her last year
(02:43):
college.
I tell you what this is abeautiful season where you can
see yeah, just hang in there.
It'll get there because it'sneat to have the friendships and
the dinners.
And the daughter that used tojust think I was the stupidest
thing on earth and now she'slike hey, do you want to go
(03:04):
shopping?
She has her own money becauseshe has a lot of money.
So it's a good season, so hangin there.
Goodness is coming to you.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Tell me more.
Oh my gosh, it's bomb for thesoul.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yes, so we will have to chat.
We'll have to chat another timeabout that, because it is, it's
good stuff.
So we'll bless you for havingfour kids.
That's pretty neat.
That's a job in itself.
So, on to our topic for today.
So many people are strugglingright now and I don't know if
it's just who I'm chatting withor my friend group, or what it
(03:40):
is.
Even the Christians that have asuper strong faith.
We get so frustrated anddiscouraged when God is not
answering our prayers and I'msuper impatient.
I am not a fan of waiting onGod, so speak to those that have
been praying over a difficultsituation and they feel like God
is just silent.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Oh, that's a good question.
I battle the silence of God allthe time.
I feel like sometimes I hearhim so loud and clear to get me
into something.
So, for example, maybe startinga church, it was like, oh gosh,
like I hear this loud and clearand then I jump in and I'm like
God, what, where are?
Like you said jump, and Ijumped and now you're not here
(04:23):
anymore and I don't, I don'tsense it and feel it like I did
before, and so sometimes thosemoments can cause like, and
sometimes stress and anxiety forpeople because they're like, oh
no, I'm alone.
I'm alone, but in the waitingand in the silence it's just so
beautiful.
When I look back on my life andjust see that all that God's
doing.
I think a lot of times we wantGod to be this like microwave
(04:47):
and you know even the InstapotI'm sure you're familiar with
that, listeners are familiarwith that Like it was our way to
bypass the slow cooker.
Like, if we can we can't havethe microwave all the time and
the Crockpot isn't fast enoughlet's make the Instapot.
And you know, god really is aslow cooker, like he's the slow
cooker of our soul.
(05:08):
And one of the things that Ihave loved about looking at
God's grace and goodness in myown life is that usually I'm so
focused on the outcome, like I'mso focused on the purpose, I'm
so focused on the destination, Iusually forget about the
process.
And God, he's so focused on theprocess so even when I feel
(05:29):
like he's not working on mybehalf for the thing that I'm
waiting on, he's actuallyworking in me so that I can be
ready for the thing that I'mwaiting on.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
And.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I don't like that.
That's the answer.
I don't like that answer, butit is the answer is that even
when we're waiting, he isworking.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, yeah, and that is so true.
And you know, it is where youcan look back on times like that
, like probably when you werestarting your church and I have
a handful of those kind ofsituations and it was painful
and I mean, I'll be honest, Iwas mad at God in the moment.
And now I look back and I wouldhave it no other way, like His
(06:08):
plan was perfect, his timing wasperfect.
I was fighting it tooth andnail and I wanted what I wanted.
You know my way.
But my goodness.
So it is nice.
You know, when you get on thebackside of those things, you
have these.
It's like a timeline or ahistory of God showing up when
you wanted it a different way,but he did something more
(06:30):
miraculous than you could dreamof.
So I love, I love how youphrase that, definitely so.
You talk about resistance andperseverance a lot in your new
book and I love that.
What do you suggest for thosethat feel like they're up
against a brick wall literallyevery day, like they're?
They feel like they heard fromGod, they're supposed to be
(06:52):
doing this thing and they arejust getting a roadblock every
other minute.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
What would you say to them?
That's a great question.
You know, when I was, when Iwas first processing this in my
own life, every ounce ofpersistence I would press pause
and I would just be like, okay,god, like I'm, I'm in the wrong
direction here.
I'm not heading in the rightdirection, let me just find the
other direction.
And I actually did this a lot inmy jobs early on.
(07:19):
Like I knew God was calling mein the ministry, but I had every
job under the sun before I gotthere.
Like I've worked at a Christmastree farm, I've even been
staying glass.
Like I have every odd job thereis.
And you know, a lot of times Iwould get to this place where I
was like I just hate the job, Ihate the job, this is it, I've
hit a ceiling and it's time tomove on.
(07:39):
And what I noticed is the thingthat was the issue, or the
pressure point would follow mewhere I went, and so I would
just move again.
And then finally, after a while, I felt like God was saying to
me.
It was like hey, I'm actually,this is something that's in you
that I'm trying to work out anddeal with.
And so if you go to the nextplace.
It's going to follow you thereand I think a lot of times when
(08:01):
we experience resistance, I feellike the enemy of our souls
tries to trick us and make usbelieve that we're heading in
the wrong direction.
So if it's hard, this is notGod's will, and what I've
realized is that if it's hard,it's probably something that God
wants me to do.
I mean, think about all of thehard habits you've tried to
(08:21):
start in your life, like a onethat I always talk about all the
time is when we makecommitments to read our Bible in
the morning, and so we're likeI'm going to get up early, I'm
going to set this time aside.
I've got the special coffee cup, I've got the like mug that I
love and the journal that I loveand it's crisp, and it's new
(08:42):
and new pens and you know, startin January.
So let's start in Genesis.
And you know, every time Istart those adventures in my
life, I've become more tired.
I feel like my kids sleep theworst.
And I feel like everything ishappening so that I can't do the
thing that I believe God'sasking me to do, and so, just
stepping back, I just got to theplace where I was like I'm
(09:04):
going to choose to seeresistance as confirmation
rather than resistance.
Like I'm going to choose to seethis resistance as the
affirmation that I'm heading inthe right direction, and it's
been crucial for my walk.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Oh, that's so good, that's very powerful so for
those of us.
So I'm kind of a like a finishstrong, like back.
I don't run marathons anymore,but I used to.
Now I barely walk, but so forthose that have that mentality
(09:41):
like finish strong, it doesn'tmatter if your feet are bleeding
, you're going to finish thisthing, and a push, push through,
stop whining, suck it up kindof person.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And as that type of person, I found sometimes it's
an unhealthy thing because Ihave that.
Know I started this and I'mgoing to finish it.
Is there a point?
And how do you know if you havethat?
I don't want to say it's acharacter flaw, but that kind of
towards.
You know I'm going to finishthis, no matter what.
(10:11):
If it hurts what happens, yeah,what would you say to those
people on finding when it is ahealthy time to stop or to walk
away from?
You know, maybe it's a businessor a product or a job or
something like that.
How do, how do you?
What are your tips for findingout if you're making, you know
(10:33):
that right, tough choice?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Well, first of all, I just want to address what I
feel like you were saying isholy stubbornness.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
That's my new title.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Here it is.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Don't tell my husband , he'll start calling me that
sanctified stubbornness, that'swhat we're calling it.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
And and and you know, like that that is I mean when
you read the book of Hebrewslike it is a bunch of people who
are sanctified and stubborn tosee in faith, god's will be done
.
But then, like you were saying,there are times where you're in
a job or you're in a position,or you're in a place and you're
like I actually don't know ifI'm supposed to continue on.
(11:12):
And one of the things I'venoticed in my own life is that
if it's usually the right thingat the wrong time, it's usually
the wrong time Like it's justit's not the right timing for it
.
And so sometimes there arethese things that we desire or
long for and it might be theright thing, but it might be the
wrong time.
And when we started our churchplan, we actually wanted to
(11:35):
start it in Boston,massachusetts, like we were
going to go to the Northeast.
I mean, god knew me better thanI did, because I wouldn't have
lasted the winters there.
I'm people, people, person whenit comes to the cold.
But we tried three times and itdidn't work out, and so we
stepped away.
When we step back, we were likethis might be the right thing,
(11:56):
but this might not be the rightplace and it might not be the
right time, and it wasn't, andso we paused and then eventually
God opened up the doors at theright time, right place.
And so you know, sometimespatience is key.
And then the other thing Iwould say is a lot of times we
use religion and, let's say,grace, to guilt people in to
(12:18):
perseverance, and sometimesthere are very harmful
situations.
They're very like traumaproducing situations, and
sometimes people will say, andthey're meaning well, but it's
almost like I've been the middleof reading Job and you just
listen to Job's friends andyou're like man.
(12:39):
I think they mean well, but Idon't think they're helping the
situation.
And so sometimes you get intothese places where it's actually
detrimental to the holisticpicture of your life.
If you stay in this onesituation or position, if it's
toxic, if it's harmful, if it'snot good for who you are
(13:01):
becoming in Christ, like it'skeeping you from achieving your
God given identity and it isharmful to you, then sometimes a
pause and a pivot is exactlywhat you need, like some like,
because I think sometimes we'reso focused on the one isolated
situation but we fail to realizelike hey, what if this
situation like causes you tospiral and just kind of flutter
(13:27):
out for God for a season?
Like what if staying five moredays costs you five more years
of your life?
And so sometimes when you'rethinking about the holistic
picture, it's like man, Ibelieve God's called me to
something, I believe he hassomething for me, and in order
to get to the 26.2 mile, mark.
(13:47):
I need to make a change here,and so you know, I start off the
book.
I actually quote Kenny Rogersand I say you gotta know when to
hold them, you gotta know whento fold them and you gotta know
when to walk away, becausesometimes, if you don't, that'll
get you in more trouble.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
That's so good.
Yeah, I totally agree, totallyagree.
Okay, so let's go there.
Spiritual warfare you said it'sreal and you said it's going,
we're going we're going.
I mean, we don't hold back onthis show.
So you have said Satan has atarget on your back.
So first of all, thank you fortackling this very tough topic,
(14:26):
because I think so many Americanpastors just don't wanna go
there.
We wanna focus on the joy andthe happiness that comes with
being a Christian, and it's notall rainbows and sun shines.
And you know, I will even sayhere in my platform, I mean mine
is baby goats and sunshine andflowers, and you know, and so we
(14:48):
all, we like that, we want, youknow, the joy of Christ and all
of that.
That's wonderful.
But there is this spiritualwarfare and you know, I will say
, like our family, we're, youknow, we've been married over 30
years now.
We've gone through it all.
You know parents' death andkids in the hospital, and
(15:08):
surgeries, and you know, sittingin a principal's office, you
know all the things, all thethings we've been there, and it
seems like this last few monthshas been like unimaginable stuff
every single day.
And we just said, you know, onMonday morning, before my
husband left for the firestation, you think this is the
(15:30):
week that you know it's gonna,we're gonna get a breakthrough
and it's gonna be normal, likejust normal drama.
You know, and sure enough, weget the phone call my mom's in
the hospital and you know,spiraling again and so it's just
, and I know that there's somany families that just feel
like, wow, it's kind of amped upall of a sudden to you know,
all the attacks are constant.
(15:50):
And so you mentioned and I'llquote you because I love this
quote.
You mentioned that if we canlearn to see our circumstances
with our spiritual eyes insteadof just our physical ones, we
have a fighting chance.
So explain a little bit moreabout that.
I love that quote.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah, well, thank you first of all and second of all,
you know, in that chapter I'mwriting about the situation that
we had with our daughter and Ithink sometimes, sometimes it is
the, I think it's this ishappening and it's a casualty of
living in this world, like whenyou think back to the effects
(16:31):
of the garden and sin and how itaffects so many things that we
don't even think about.
Like I was reading somethingrecently and I was talking about
how wild creation is and I wasjust thinking of and I was kind
of connecting that with Romans 8, how Paul says that creation
groans, and I was like I, youknow, I wonder if creation was
actually this like beautiful,perfect place where animals
(16:54):
didn't get mad and weatherdidn't rage.
But now that we're living onthe effects of the fall, we
don't know how much of this isactually affecting it.
And so you know, part of whatwe're living in is the effects
of the enemy thousands of yearsago.
And then there's the otherparts where, like, god has good,
(17:16):
purposeful things for hischildren, like when I think
about the death of Jesus,especially in this season of
Lent that we're currently inright now as we record this is
like I'm thinking about Jesusactually purchasing my life so
that I can live in the freedomand the salvation that he has
for me, and one of the things Ijust keep thinking about is God
(17:38):
doesn't purchase what he hasn'tpurposed.
And so if you've got a purposefor your life and it involves
the kingdom, then we have toknow that there is going to be
some force out there that doesnot like that.
Like he's not gonna like Lannabeing able to bring this
(17:58):
incredible message.
Like he's not gonna like any ofthat.
Like he's not gonna like any ofthe things that you have going
on for God and your listenerstoo, like the things that we try
to do for our families, for ourfaith, like all of that.
Like he hates all of it.
He hates when marriages work ohgosh, he hates when marriages
(18:19):
works.
He hates when kids are raisedin the joy of the like.
He hates it.
And so all that to say is okay.
So that's the site.
That's kind of how we have tosee things.
But then the second part of thatis you know, a lot of times
when we have things going onthat are good in the Connolly
household, I know that attacksare imminent, and so even in
(18:41):
November I it was the on thecusp of us going to an extra
service at our church.
We were about to celebrate theholidays with the family.
It was about to be the releaseof my book and all the sudden,
out of nowhere, having neverexperienced this, I had panic
(19:01):
attacks out of nowhere, like I'dnever had anxiety.
I'd never had any of it.
I thought I was having hardissues.
So I was rushed to the hospitaltwice and then finally got back
from the hospital the secondtime and it started again and I
was like this is, this is not amedical thing, this is a
spiritual thing.
And that spiritual thing led to10 nights of not being able to
(19:26):
sleep, like I did not sleep atnight for 10 day straight.
And I just remember in thosenights like I would be reading
scripture, I was journaling, Iwas praying.
I remember that if I had afriend who wakes up at four and
I was like I could text them at4am, tell them to pray for me,
and then I remember who woke upat five and I was like I could
(19:47):
text them.
And so all that to say is Ithink so many things that happen
in this world, we just we seewhat's happening, but we don't
see the why behind what'shappening.
And I think, if we open our eyesjust a little bit more, even
though we don't want to right,because we don't want to see the
(20:08):
hard parts of the kingdom, likewe don't want to see the dark
secrets of the kingdom but Ithink, at least in my own life,
the more I've opened my eyes tothose parts, I've actually seen
the goodness of God better, likeI've actually seen his
protection, I've actually seenhis faithfulness, I've actually
seen just even motivation topress on and press through,
(20:29):
because I'm like, well, whateverhappened, whatever's happened
on the other side of this hardtrouble, must be great, because
the enemy does not want it tohappen and I don't know.
I just feel like it's honestlyfreed me up a little bit to say,
man, this is God's about to dosomething.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, yeah, and I love that God's up to something.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Makes zero sense to me right now Exactly.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
But either Satan's trying to stop something or, you
know, we've said we are in aboxing ring.
I mean, that was our mom family.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
That's what it feels like.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
That's what it feels like my boys are wrestlers and
we've said that Like we are inthe ring, you know, with Satan,
and we feel every single dayit's okay, I got a new black guy
from that one, or whatever, butwe're gonna get back up again.
But yeah, that's, that's such agood insight to that, because I
think so many times God's in itand he's using it, and
(21:27):
definitely we're in a battle andwe need to arm up and press
into him, which is hard to notgo.
You know, numb with whatever,you know a bowl of ice cream or
Netflix or whatever, just toturn your brain off and really,
you know, turn to him duringthat, but it's hard, that's hard
to do.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
I love how you said that, because I think that's the
other part too is.
I think maybe some of yourlisteners might feel this way
and it's like, well, I don'thave anything like that going on
, like I've never had anythinglike that going on.
And you know, one of the thingsI've noticed about the enemy is
he will use comfort andconvenience just as much as
he'll use conflict and strife,like he does not care, like
(22:09):
he'll use whatever, and sosometimes he actually loves us
to sleep and we become apathetic, we become comfortable and
we're fixed on what's convenientrather than what's for the
kingdom.
And there are those sort oftimes in my life where I'm more
scared.
I'm like, oh gosh, I just fellasleep for a second.
I'm so glad you said that.
That's so.
That's such a good point.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
So how do we make thesedifficult times strengthen our
faith instead of us?
I'll be honest, I've hadseasons in my life where I was
literally so mad at God.
How do we, how do we get out ofthat and get to where?
Right when we're starting intothe struggle, or wow, this is a
(22:50):
big one, this is more than I canhandle.
Instead of getting that mad atGod type of saying I pray
shouldn't say that how do wemake it strengthen our faith and
turn to.
Him.
Because it's such a commonconcept, it makes sense
logically.
But of course you know this isgoing to strengthen our faith
(23:10):
and we know we're in thestruggle and God's with us and
he'll use it for good.
All the scriptures, whatever,but like the reality of my brain
and my heart Don't say the samesignal here.
You really get like can youjust make that?
Can we push the easy button andmake this easier?
And so how do you do that?
(23:32):
How do you get to where itstrengthens your faith instead
of softens it?
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Well, I actually want to go back to one of the first
things you said.
I think what you said aboutbeing angry and again, angry at
God and angry with God, thoseare things that happen in our
lives.
But I think what you said is sopowerful because I think
sometimes we get to this placewhere we don't think that we can
(24:02):
tell God exactly how we feeland we're kind of bottling up
our emotions towards God and wedon't want to talk to Him and we
don't want to think about Him.
And when I read the Psalms thePsalms are just such a beautiful
place of emotion I'm like metoo, david, me too.
(24:22):
Yeah, I wanted to say that.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah, where are you?
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, I'm glad you said something, because I wanted
to say something, but I didn'twant to step on anybody's toes.
So I just feel like the firstthing I would say is you have
absolutely 100% have to tell Godhow you feel.
Like tell Him exactly how youfeel, and the beautiful thing
about that is it's getting atthe crux of what God's already
at after anyway, and that's therelationship.
(24:47):
Like we're so caught up in thedetails and he's caught up in
the relationship.
The way we get stronger is whenwe get softer with Him.
And so I think, telling Godexactly how you feel, and then
the second thing I would say isI would really and this is I'm
stealing James' word from, Ithink it's James one where he
(25:07):
would say let that perseverancefinish its task so that we
become mature, as I thinksometimes we tap out too early
and we don't let the maturationprocess happen internally in us.
And so, like I was sayingearlier with my jobs, is I would
tap out and then I'd go to thenext place and then I'd be like,
(25:27):
oh wait, that's here again.
And God gently said like hey, Iwant to do this thing in you.
And so I think sometimes, whenwe experience hard seasons.
We don't allow the work tofinish its course, and so it's
hard.
It's so hard.
I'm not saying any of this iseasy.
(25:47):
I'm just saying it's easierwhen you allow the maturation
process to take its completework so that you can be finished
in the thing that God'sdeveloping in you.
And I think if you can do thosetwo things, the rest will take
care of itself.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, that's good, that's good.
So, as a pastor, how do youbalance your ministry and your
family and your personal life?
Speaking from as someone kindof behind the scenes, I'm a
preacher's kid.
My dad was a pastor, my grandpawas a pastor, and a little kind
of different growing up becausemy dad was a pilot and then
(26:29):
retired early to become a pastor.
So I got it closer to the highschool age so didn't grow up as
a youngster as my dad is pastorbut my grandfather was, and so
how do you?
I got to see the congregationlast minute.
There's an emergency.
You're pulled away from dinner.
(26:50):
There's just constant phonecalls.
You know you might be sick inor having you know your own
stuff that you're dealing with,but you have to go preach and be
on.
How do you balance it all?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
That's a great question.
My wife, she has this.
She has a better quote than I'mgoing to say it.
But you know, I think a lot oftimes we buy into a gospel of
balance and it's actually notthat I feel like a life is a lot
like whack-a-mole.
Do you remember that game?
Yes, I do.
It's like you're hitting.
You're just hitting the nextthing that pops up.
And I think, honestly, that's agreat picture for life is, I
(27:28):
think sometimes the church isgood and the family's hard.
And I think sometimes thefamily's incredible and the
church is hard.
And I think one of the thingsthat has helped me is I've
always tried to, in everycircumstance and situation, just
say hey, listen, god is incontrol and I just need to let
(27:49):
God be God.
And if God can be God, thenit's going to work out so much
better than if I like meddle inor try to like fix it.
And I'll give you a greatexample of this is we were at a
church in Indiana and I had adear friend who I was getting to
know.
He called me one night and itwas like 11pm and I just need
(28:10):
you to know that I am in bedbefore that.
I'm heading towards bed andthis guy, he was younger, and so
he was like hey, I need to meetright now.
And I was like are you, are youphysically hurt?
Is everything okay?
And he was like yeah, yeah, I'mphysically okay.
And I was like okay, I tell youwhat?
Everything that you want totell me, you tell God tonight.
(28:33):
And then come over to the housefor breakfast tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I hung up the phone and my mom I mean my wife was
like what are you doing?
Like what did you just tell him?
Like do you need to go?
Like you need to go right now?
Like wow, why did you just tellhim?
To tell God, and theneverything's gonna be like.
She was like what are you doing?
And I was like it's gonna beokay, everything's gonna be okay
.
Well, the guy comes over thenext day and he looks like he's
seen a ghost and I was like hey,are you okay?
(29:01):
Like what's going on?
He was like well, I gotta behonest, like I thought I was a
believer, but I was not.
I talked to God and I'm tellingyou this is the first time that
I've ever expressed salvationin Jesus being my Lord.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
And so in that moment , that situation Wow, you're
giving me goosebumps.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
That situation taught me that it is I mean cause we
always say it like it's justgiven to God.
And I'm telling you, when we dothat, it always works out
better than if I jumped in.
If I jumped in, I probablywould have like said like, oh
man, you're great, you're doingfine, like everything's fine,
like it's gonna be great, andyou know, he just needed to talk
(29:43):
to God for the first time.
And so I think about that withlife, I think about that with
ministry, I think about thatwith my family.
Like we cannot do it all.
Balance is not achievable.
And so we're playing a game ofwhack-a-mole and then we've
gotta decide that every moldthat jumps up, we've gotta give
(30:04):
it to God, and that's thebalance.
And it never, man, like eventhink about the concept of date
night.
You know like that's such agreat topic for marriages is
date night.
But when you think about theproportion of your week that you
spend working or doing otherthings and then you have this
date night, like it's notproportional to my love for my
(30:27):
wife.
Right, Like two hours is nothow much I love my life and so
it's not the balance.
But I tell you what, in thattwo hours or three hours, I'm
gonna make the best of it that Ican, and I really think that
that's what we're all out heredoing.
We're all just trying to makethe best of those moments that
we can.
And I think sometimes balance isa false gospel that the world
(30:48):
teaches and culture teaches andit's like I don't.
I can't die trying to achievethat because it's not obtainable
.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Right, right and prioritizing.
I mean you obviously, like youprioritize that date night, like
somebody better be dying.
If I'm canceling this ExactlyBecause I really need it with
four, kids.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I'm gonna need to know your medical statistics
right now, before I come to yourhouse.
Like what's your heartbeat at.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Right, there you go, there you go.
I love it, I love it.
Okay, well, tell us about yourbook.
You have this wonderful bookthat's don't give up choosing
persistence in a world ofoverwhelming resistance.
And boy, that's a timelymessage.
So tell us a little bit aboutit and where we can find it.
All the things.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Everyone I talk to usually has this grand desire
dream in their life.
They're like man, I reallywanna see this happen.
I really wanna see that happen.
I have this dream to do thisthing.
I had this dream for my family.
I had this dream to move out tothis piece of land and do all
these things.
And you know, so many peoplethink about the dream and so
(32:00):
little people think about theresistance that's going to
happen on the way to the dream.
And so, really, when I wrote,don't give up just yet.
As I said, you know, ifGalatians 6-9 is true, let us
not grow weary in doing good,for we will reap a harvest at
the proper time if we do notgive up, I feel like there's so
(32:20):
many people in this worldmissing out on the harvest that
God has for them because theygave up.
And so I was like I can't go tocoffee with everyone, like I
can't just sit down over a cupof coffee with everyone.
So how do I write a letter topeople selling them to keep
going?
Because I really do want peopleto see the promises that God
has for them.
And so that's essentially thebook.
(32:41):
I talk about how we canbefriend resistance.
I talk about how we can outlastthe onslaught of life because,
as you mentioned earlier, likethings happen.
And then I talk about how we canchoose persistence in the midst
of resistance, and so really,ultimately, I just wanna see
people walk in the purposes andthe plans that God has for them,
and I just feel like so manypeople give up before they get
(33:04):
there and then they say God'snot good or God didn't love me,
and I just I'm asking thequestion of what?
What if he does love you?
But what if you gave up toosoon?
And so I just wanna help peoplemake it to the finish line.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
It's good, it's good.
So where can they find yourbook?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
You can find it anywhere Barnes, noble, amazon,
all over the place and it's outthere where you would normally
buy your books.
And then my Instagram is inConnolly and then my website is
nickconnollyco, and I'veactually got a few little pieces
of merch there.
If people love, people love themerch, the kids love the merch.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Yes, they do, they do , and we will link all of that
in our show notes.
So, in case you're looking forsome merch and the book, we'll
link the book in there as welltoo.
So well, nick, thanks forcoming on.
I appreciate this message.
I think you're a voice thatjust speaks truth into it.
You hit some topics that a lotof pastors kind of fluff over a
(34:07):
little bit, and so I love thatyou are not afraid to tell it
how it is and deal with the hardstuff, and it's a good book.
I highly recommend it.
So thanks for coming on.
Thank you for joining us todayin this episode of Gracefield
Grit.
I know that your time isvaluable and I truly appreciate
you being here.
I hope it was helpful and thatyou'll share it with a friend.
(34:30):
In order to schedule amazingguests on our show, we could use
some good reviews.
So if you've enjoyed thisepisode, I'd be honored if you
could head over to the podcastapp on your phone, tap the album
art for the Gracefield Gritpodcast, scroll down to the
bottom of the page and write areview.
I'm looking forward to our nextepisode and I hope you'll join
(34:51):
us again.
Blessings to you today, friend,as you live out your own
Gracefield Grit.
Welcome to Gracefield Grit.
I'm your host, lana Stinner,and we are chatting all about
growing your faith, family andthe backyard farm.
Here at the GracefieldHomestead, we are having honest,
hard and authenticconversations with some amazing
guests about getting back to thebasics and what's important in
life.
We are not for everyone and wedon't clean up our conversations
(00:29):
, so you will get the uneditedchat Each episode.
You can expect practical tipsand encouragement.
I am so honored to have youjoin us today, so grab a cup of
coffee and let's do this thing.
Hey, friends, welcome back tothe Gracefield Grit podcast.
Today, pastor Nick Connolly isjoining us.
(00:49):
Nick is the pastor at BrightCity Church and the author of
his new book.
Don't Give Up Just Yet.
Welcome, nick.
We are so glad to have you joinus today.
Speaker 2 (01:00):
It's so great to be here.
Thank you for having me.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Yeah, I would love for our friends here online to
get to know you a little bitbetter.
Do you mind sharing a littlebit about yourself?
Speaker 2 (01:10):
Absolutely not.
My name is Nick and I live inthe wonderful city of Charleston
, south Carolina, and I havefour kids.
They're 17, 16, 15, and 11.
We lead a church in Charleston,south Carolina my wife and I
call Bright City Church, andit's about 10 years old.
(01:30):
Usually most of that keeps usbusy, but then we added other
stuff to that.
My wife leads a wonderfulcompany called Go and Tell Gals
and we've had severalentrepreneurial businesses along
the way.
We keep a full plate here inthe Connolly household.
Speaker 1 (01:44):
I love it.
Four kids, God bless you.
I have four kids.
That's enough in itself.
I am 17.
Is that high school?
Are you going into thegraduating season or are you
going to have another year left?
Speaker 2 (02:00):
We're getting there.
We actually just got back forsome college visits and so this
is a whole new world.
A whole new world the teens.
I feel like you and I need tohave a separate podcast therapy
session to talk through that.
Maybe not right on this one,but I'm learning a lot.
Speaker 1 (02:21):
Yeah, it is Me and kids.
There's nothing better.
While it was so hard and toughwhen they're little toddlers,
mine, I only have one left athome.
I have three boys and a girl,and my boys are all out into the
world and live nearby andmarried and grandkids.
And then I have my daughter isjust finishing her last year
(02:43):
college.
I tell you what this is abeautiful season where you can
see yeah, just hang in there.
It'll get there because it'sneat to have the friendships and
the dinners.
And the daughter that used tojust think I was the stupidest
thing on earth and now she'slike hey, do you want to go
(03:04):
shopping?
She has her own money becauseshe has a lot of money.
So it's a good season, so hangin there.
Goodness is coming to you.
Speaker 2 (03:14):
Tell me more.
Oh my gosh, it's bomb for thesoul.
Speaker 1 (03:17):
Yes, so we will have to chat.
We'll have to chat another timeabout that, because it is, it's
good stuff.
So we'll bless you for havingfour kids.
That's pretty neat.
That's a job in itself.
So, on to our topic for today.
So many people are strugglingright now and I don't know if
it's just who I'm chatting withor my friend group, or what it
(03:40):
is.
Even the Christians that have asuper strong faith.
We get so frustrated anddiscouraged when God is not
answering our prayers and I'msuper impatient.
I am not a fan of waiting onGod, so speak to those that have
been praying over a difficultsituation and they feel like God
is just silent.
Speaker 2 (04:01):
Oh, that's a good question.
I battle the silence of God allthe time.
I feel like sometimes I hearhim so loud and clear to get me
into something.
So, for example, maybe startinga church, it was like, oh gosh,
like I hear this loud and clearand then I jump in and I'm like
God, what, where are?
Like you said jump, and Ijumped and now you're not here
(04:23):
anymore and I don't, I don'tsense it and feel it like I did
before, and so sometimes thosemoments can cause like, and
sometimes stress and anxiety forpeople because they're like, oh
no, I'm alone.
I'm alone, but in the waitingand in the silence it's just so
beautiful.
When I look back on my life andjust see that all that God's
doing.
I think a lot of times we wantGod to be this like microwave
(04:47):
and you know even the InstapotI'm sure you're familiar with
that, listeners are familiarwith that Like it was our way to
bypass the slow cooker.
Like, if we can we can't havethe microwave all the time and
the Crockpot isn't fast enoughlet's make the Instapot.
And you know, god really is aslow cooker, like he's the slow
cooker of our soul.
(05:08):
And one of the things that Ihave loved about looking at
God's grace and goodness in myown life is that usually I'm so
focused on the outcome, like I'mso focused on the purpose, I'm
so focused on the destination, Iusually forget about the
process.
And God, he's so focused on theprocess so even when I feel
(05:29):
like he's not working on mybehalf for the thing that I'm
waiting on, he's actuallyworking in me so that I can be
ready for the thing that I'mwaiting on.
Speaker 1 (05:39):
And.
Speaker 2 (05:39):
I don't like that.
That's the answer.
I don't like that answer, butit is the answer is that even
when we're waiting, he isworking.
Speaker 1 (05:48):
Yeah, yeah, and that is so true.
And you know, it is where youcan look back on times like that
, like probably when you werestarting your church and I have
a handful of those kind ofsituations and it was painful
and I mean, I'll be honest, Iwas mad at God in the moment.
And now I look back and I wouldhave it no other way, like His
(06:08):
plan was perfect, his timing wasperfect.
I was fighting it tooth andnail and I wanted what I wanted.
You know my way.
But my goodness.
So it is nice.
You know, when you get on thebackside of those things, you
have these.
It's like a timeline or ahistory of God showing up when
you wanted it a different way,but he did something more
(06:30):
miraculous than you could dreamof.
So I love, I love how youphrase that, definitely so.
You talk about resistance andperseverance a lot in your new
book and I love that.
What do you suggest for thosethat feel like they're up
against a brick wall literallyevery day, like they're?
They feel like they heard fromGod, they're supposed to be
(06:52):
doing this thing and they arejust getting a roadblock every
other minute.
Speaker 2 (06:57):
What would you say to them?
That's a great question.
You know, when I was, when Iwas first processing this in my
own life, every ounce ofpersistence I would press pause
and I would just be like, okay,god, like I'm, I'm in the wrong
direction here.
I'm not heading in the rightdirection, let me just find the
other direction.
And I actually did this a lot inmy jobs early on.
(07:19):
Like I knew God was calling mein the ministry, but I had every
job under the sun before I gotthere.
Like I've worked at a Christmastree farm, I've even been
staying glass.
Like I have every odd job thereis.
And you know, a lot of times Iwould get to this place where I
was like I just hate the job, Ihate the job, this is it, I've
hit a ceiling and it's time tomove on.
(07:39):
And what I noticed is the thingthat was the issue, or the
pressure point would follow mewhere I went, and so I would
just move again.
And then finally, after a while, I felt like God was saying to
me.
It was like hey, I'm actually,this is something that's in you
that I'm trying to work out anddeal with.
And so if you go to the nextplace.
It's going to follow you thereand I think a lot of times when
(08:01):
we experience resistance, I feellike the enemy of our souls
tries to trick us and make usbelieve that we're heading in
the wrong direction.
So if it's hard, this is notGod's will, and what I've
realized is that if it's hard,it's probably something that God
wants me to do.
I mean, think about all of thehard habits you've tried to
(08:21):
start in your life, like a onethat I always talk about all the
time is when we makecommitments to read our Bible in
the morning, and so we're likeI'm going to get up early, I'm
going to set this time aside.
I've got the special coffee cup, I've got the like mug that I
love and the journal that I loveand it's crisp, and it's new
(08:42):
and new pens and you know, startin January.
So let's start in Genesis.
And you know, every time Istart those adventures in my
life, I've become more tired.
I feel like my kids sleep theworst.
And I feel like everything ishappening so that I can't do the
thing that I believe God'sasking me to do, and so, just
stepping back, I just got to theplace where I was like I'm
(09:04):
going to choose to seeresistance as confirmation
rather than resistance.
Like I'm going to choose to seethis resistance as the
affirmation that I'm heading inthe right direction, and it's
been crucial for my walk.
Speaker 1 (09:21):
Oh, that's so good, that's very powerful so for
those of us.
So I'm kind of a like a finishstrong, like back.
I don't run marathons anymore,but I used to.
Now I barely walk, but so forthose that have that mentality
(09:41):
like finish strong, it doesn'tmatter if your feet are bleeding
, you're going to finish thisthing, and a push, push through,
stop whining, suck it up kindof person.
Speaker 2 (09:50):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (09:51):
And as that type of person, I found sometimes it's
an unhealthy thing because Ihave that.
Know I started this and I'mgoing to finish it.
Is there a point?
And how do you know if you havethat?
I don't want to say it's acharacter flaw, but that kind of
towards.
You know I'm going to finishthis, no matter what.
(10:11):
If it hurts what happens, yeah,what would you say to those
people on finding when it is ahealthy time to stop or to walk
away from?
You know, maybe it's a businessor a product or a job or
something like that.
How do, how do you?
What are your tips for findingout if you're making, you know
(10:33):
that right, tough choice?
Speaker 2 (10:36):
Well, first of all, I just want to address what I
feel like you were saying isholy stubbornness.
Speaker 1 (10:42):
That's my new title.
Speaker 2 (10:44):
Here it is.
Speaker 1 (10:45):
Don't tell my husband , he'll start calling me that
sanctified stubbornness, that'swhat we're calling it.
Speaker 2 (10:50):
And and and you know, like that that is I mean when
you read the book of Hebrewslike it is a bunch of people who
are sanctified and stubborn tosee in faith, god's will be done
.
But then, like you were saying,there are times where you're in
a job or you're in a position,or you're in a place and you're
like I actually don't know ifI'm supposed to continue on.
(11:12):
And one of the things I'venoticed in my own life is that
if it's usually the right thingat the wrong time, it's usually
the wrong time Like it's justit's not the right timing for it
.
And so sometimes there arethese things that we desire or
long for and it might be theright thing, but it might be the
wrong time.
And when we started our churchplan, we actually wanted to
(11:35):
start it in Boston,massachusetts, like we were
going to go to the Northeast.
I mean, god knew me better thanI did, because I wouldn't have
lasted the winters there.
I'm people, people, person whenit comes to the cold.
But we tried three times and itdidn't work out, and so we
stepped away.
When we step back, we were likethis might be the right thing,
(11:56):
but this might not be the rightplace and it might not be the
right time, and it wasn't, andso we paused and then eventually
God opened up the doors at theright time, right place.
And so you know, sometimespatience is key.
And then the other thing Iwould say is a lot of times we
use religion and, let's say,grace, to guilt people in to
(12:18):
perseverance, and sometimesthere are very harmful
situations.
They're very like traumaproducing situations, and
sometimes people will say, andthey're meaning well, but it's
almost like I've been the middleof reading Job and you just
listen to Job's friends andyou're like man.
(12:39):
I think they mean well, but Idon't think they're helping the
situation.
And so sometimes you get intothese places where it's actually
detrimental to the holisticpicture of your life.
If you stay in this onesituation or position, if it's
toxic, if it's harmful, if it'snot good for who you are
(13:01):
becoming in Christ, like it'skeeping you from achieving your
God given identity and it isharmful to you, then sometimes a
pause and a pivot is exactlywhat you need, like some like,
because I think sometimes we'reso focused on the one isolated
situation but we fail to realizelike hey, what if this
situation like causes you tospiral and just kind of flutter
(13:27):
out for God for a season?
Like what if staying five moredays costs you five more years
of your life?
And so sometimes when you'rethinking about the holistic
picture, it's like man, Ibelieve God's called me to
something, I believe he hassomething for me, and in order
to get to the 26.2 mile, mark.
(13:47):
I need to make a change here,and so you know, I start off the
book.
I actually quote Kenny Rogersand I say you gotta know when to
hold them, you gotta know whento fold them and you gotta know
when to walk away, becausesometimes, if you don't, that'll
get you in more trouble.
Speaker 1 (14:03):
That's so good.
Yeah, I totally agree, totallyagree.
Okay, so let's go there.
Spiritual warfare you said it'sreal and you said it's going,
we're going we're going.
I mean, we don't hold back onthis show.
So you have said Satan has atarget on your back.
So first of all, thank you fortackling this very tough topic,
(14:26):
because I think so many Americanpastors just don't wanna go
there.
We wanna focus on the joy andthe happiness that comes with
being a Christian, and it's notall rainbows and sun shines.
And you know, I will even sayhere in my platform, I mean mine
is baby goats and sunshine andflowers, and you know, and so we
(14:48):
all, we like that, we want, youknow, the joy of Christ and all
of that.
That's wonderful.
But there is this spiritualwarfare and you know, I will say
, like our family, we're, youknow, we've been married over 30
years now.
We've gone through it all.
You know parents' death andkids in the hospital, and
(15:08):
surgeries, and you know, sittingin a principal's office, you
know all the things, all thethings we've been there, and it
seems like this last few monthshas been like unimaginable stuff
every single day.
And we just said, you know, onMonday morning, before my
husband left for the firestation, you think this is the
(15:30):
week that you know it's gonna,we're gonna get a breakthrough
and it's gonna be normal, likejust normal drama.
You know, and sure enough, weget the phone call my mom's in
the hospital and you know,spiraling again and so it's just
, and I know that there's somany families that just feel
like, wow, it's kind of amped upall of a sudden to you know,
all the attacks are constant.
(15:50):
And so you mentioned and I'llquote you because I love this
quote.
You mentioned that if we canlearn to see our circumstances
with our spiritual eyes insteadof just our physical ones, we
have a fighting chance.
So explain a little bit moreabout that.
I love that quote.
Speaker 2 (16:09):
Yeah, well, thank you first of all and second of all,
you know, in that chapter I'mwriting about the situation that
we had with our daughter and Ithink sometimes, sometimes it is
the, I think it's this ishappening and it's a casualty of
living in this world, like whenyou think back to the effects
(16:31):
of the garden and sin and how itaffects so many things that we
don't even think about.
Like I was reading somethingrecently and I was talking about
how wild creation is and I wasjust thinking of and I was kind
of connecting that with Romans 8, how Paul says that creation
groans, and I was like I, youknow, I wonder if creation was
actually this like beautiful,perfect place where animals
(16:54):
didn't get mad and weatherdidn't rage.
But now that we're living onthe effects of the fall, we
don't know how much of this isactually affecting it.
And so you know, part of whatwe're living in is the effects
of the enemy thousands of yearsago.
And then there's the otherparts where, like, god has good,
(17:16):
purposeful things for hischildren, like when I think
about the death of Jesus,especially in this season of
Lent that we're currently inright now as we record this is
like I'm thinking about Jesusactually purchasing my life so
that I can live in the freedomand the salvation that he has
for me, and one of the things Ijust keep thinking about is God
(17:38):
doesn't purchase what he hasn'tpurposed.
And so if you've got a purposefor your life and it involves
the kingdom, then we have toknow that there is going to be
some force out there that doesnot like that.
Like he's not gonna like Lannabeing able to bring this
(17:58):
incredible message.
Like he's not gonna like any ofthat.
Like he's not gonna like any ofthe things that you have going
on for God and your listenerstoo, like the things that we try
to do for our families, for ourfaith, like all of that.
Like he hates all of it.
He hates when marriages work ohgosh, he hates when marriages
(18:19):
works.
He hates when kids are raisedin the joy of the like.
He hates it.
And so all that to say is okay.
So that's the site.
That's kind of how we have tosee things.
But then the second part of thatis you know, a lot of times
when we have things going onthat are good in the Connolly
household, I know that attacksare imminent, and so even in
(18:41):
November I it was the on thecusp of us going to an extra
service at our church.
We were about to celebrate theholidays with the family.
It was about to be the releaseof my book and all the sudden,
out of nowhere, having neverexperienced this, I had panic
(19:01):
attacks out of nowhere, like I'dnever had anxiety.
I'd never had any of it.
I thought I was having hardissues.
So I was rushed to the hospitaltwice and then finally got back
from the hospital the secondtime and it started again and I
was like this is, this is not amedical thing, this is a
spiritual thing.
And that spiritual thing led to10 nights of not being able to
(19:26):
sleep, like I did not sleep atnight for 10 day straight.
And I just remember in thosenights like I would be reading
scripture, I was journaling, Iwas praying.
I remember that if I had afriend who wakes up at four and
I was like I could text them at4am, tell them to pray for me,
and then I remember who woke upat five and I was like I could
(19:47):
text them.
And so all that to say is Ithink so many things that happen
in this world, we just we seewhat's happening, but we don't
see the why behind what'shappening.
And I think, if we open our eyesjust a little bit more, even
though we don't want to right,because we don't want to see the
(20:08):
hard parts of the kingdom, likewe don't want to see the dark
secrets of the kingdom but Ithink, at least in my own life,
the more I've opened my eyes tothose parts, I've actually seen
the goodness of God better, likeI've actually seen his
protection, I've actually seenhis faithfulness, I've actually
seen just even motivation topress on and press through,
(20:29):
because I'm like, well, whateverhappened, whatever's happened
on the other side of this hardtrouble, must be great, because
the enemy does not want it tohappen and I don't know.
I just feel like it's honestlyfreed me up a little bit to say,
man, this is God's about to dosomething.
Speaker 1 (20:45):
Yeah, yeah, and I love that God's up to something.
Speaker 2 (20:49):
Makes zero sense to me right now Exactly.
Speaker 1 (20:52):
But either Satan's trying to stop something or, you
know, we've said we are in aboxing ring.
I mean, that was our mom family.
Speaker 2 (21:01):
That's what it feels like.
Speaker 1 (21:03):
That's what it feels like my boys are wrestlers and
we've said that Like we are inthe ring, you know, with Satan,
and we feel every single dayit's okay, I got a new black guy
from that one, or whatever, butwe're gonna get back up again.
But yeah, that's, that's such agood insight to that, because I
think so many times God's in itand he's using it, and
(21:27):
definitely we're in a battle andwe need to arm up and press
into him, which is hard to notgo.
You know, numb with whatever,you know a bowl of ice cream or
Netflix or whatever, just toturn your brain off and really,
you know, turn to him duringthat, but it's hard, that's hard
to do.
Speaker 2 (21:46):
I love how you said that, because I think that's the
other part too is.
I think maybe some of yourlisteners might feel this way
and it's like, well, I don'thave anything like that going on
, like I've never had anythinglike that going on.
And you know, one of the thingsI've noticed about the enemy is
he will use comfort andconvenience just as much as
he'll use conflict and strife,like he does not care, like
(22:09):
he'll use whatever, and sosometimes he actually loves us
to sleep and we become apathetic, we become comfortable and
we're fixed on what's convenientrather than what's for the
kingdom.
And there are those sort oftimes in my life where I'm more
scared.
I'm like, oh gosh, I just fellasleep for a second.
I'm so glad you said that.
That's so.
That's such a good point.
Speaker 1 (22:30):
Yeah, yeah, that's good.
So how do we make thesedifficult times strengthen our
faith instead of us?
I'll be honest, I've hadseasons in my life where I was
literally so mad at God.
How do we, how do we get out ofthat and get to where?
Right when we're starting intothe struggle, or wow, this is a
(22:50):
big one, this is more than I canhandle.
Instead of getting that mad atGod type of saying I pray
shouldn't say that how do wemake it strengthen our faith and
turn to.
Him.
Because it's such a commonconcept, it makes sense
logically.
But of course you know this isgoing to strengthen our faith
(23:10):
and we know we're in thestruggle and God's with us and
he'll use it for good.
All the scriptures, whatever,but like the reality of my brain
and my heart Don't say the samesignal here.
You really get like can youjust make that?
Can we push the easy button andmake this easier?
And so how do you do that?
(23:32):
How do you get to where itstrengthens your faith instead
of softens it?
Speaker 2 (23:39):
Well, I actually want to go back to one of the first
things you said.
I think what you said aboutbeing angry and again, angry at
God and angry with God, thoseare things that happen in our
lives.
But I think what you said is sopowerful because I think
sometimes we get to this placewhere we don't think that we can
(24:02):
tell God exactly how we feeland we're kind of bottling up
our emotions towards God and wedon't want to talk to Him and we
don't want to think about Him.
And when I read the Psalms thePsalms are just such a beautiful
place of emotion I'm like metoo, david, me too.
(24:22):
Yeah, I wanted to say that.
Speaker 1 (24:24):
Yeah, where are you?
Speaker 2 (24:26):
Yeah, I'm glad you said something, because I wanted
to say something, but I didn'twant to step on anybody's toes.
So I just feel like the firstthing I would say is you have
absolutely 100% have to tell Godhow you feel.
Like tell Him exactly how youfeel, and the beautiful thing
about that is it's getting atthe crux of what God's already
at after anyway, and that's therelationship.
(24:47):
Like we're so caught up in thedetails and he's caught up in
the relationship.
The way we get stronger is whenwe get softer with Him.
And so I think, telling Godexactly how you feel, and then
the second thing I would say isI would really and this is I'm
stealing James' word from, Ithink it's James one where he
(25:07):
would say let that perseverancefinish its task so that we
become mature, as I thinksometimes we tap out too early
and we don't let the maturationprocess happen internally in us.
And so, like I was sayingearlier with my jobs, is I would
tap out and then I'd go to thenext place and then I'd be like,
(25:27):
oh wait, that's here again.
And God gently said like hey, Iwant to do this thing in you.
And so I think sometimes, whenwe experience hard seasons.
We don't allow the work tofinish its course, and so it's
hard.
It's so hard.
I'm not saying any of this iseasy.
(25:47):
I'm just saying it's easierwhen you allow the maturation
process to take its completework so that you can be finished
in the thing that God'sdeveloping in you.
And I think if you can do thosetwo things, the rest will take
care of itself.
Speaker 1 (26:05):
Yeah, that's good, that's good.
So, as a pastor, how do youbalance your ministry and your
family and your personal life?
Speaking from as someone kindof behind the scenes, I'm a
preacher's kid.
My dad was a pastor, my grandpawas a pastor, and a little kind
of different growing up becausemy dad was a pilot and then
(26:29):
retired early to become a pastor.
So I got it closer to the highschool age so didn't grow up as
a youngster as my dad is pastorbut my grandfather was, and so
how do you?
I got to see the congregationlast minute.
There's an emergency.
You're pulled away from dinner.
(26:50):
There's just constant phonecalls.
You know you might be sick inor having you know your own
stuff that you're dealing with,but you have to go preach and be
on.
How do you balance it all?
Speaker 2 (27:03):
That's a great question.
My wife, she has this.
She has a better quote than I'mgoing to say it.
But you know, I think a lot oftimes we buy into a gospel of
balance and it's actually notthat I feel like a life is a lot
like whack-a-mole.
Do you remember that game?
Yes, I do.
It's like you're hitting.
You're just hitting the nextthing that pops up.
And I think, honestly, that's agreat picture for life is, I
(27:28):
think sometimes the church isgood and the family's hard.
And I think sometimes thefamily's incredible and the
church is hard.
And I think one of the thingsthat has helped me is I've
always tried to, in everycircumstance and situation, just
say hey, listen, god is incontrol and I just need to let
(27:49):
God be God.
And if God can be God, thenit's going to work out so much
better than if I like meddle inor try to like fix it.
And I'll give you a greatexample of this is we were at a
church in Indiana and I had adear friend who I was getting to
know.
He called me one night and itwas like 11pm and I just need
(28:10):
you to know that I am in bedbefore that.
I'm heading towards bed andthis guy, he was younger, and so
he was like hey, I need to meetright now.
And I was like are you, are youphysically hurt?
Is everything okay?
And he was like yeah, yeah, I'mphysically okay.
And I was like okay, I tell youwhat?
Everything that you want totell me, you tell God tonight.
(28:33):
And then come over to the housefor breakfast tomorrow.
Speaker 1 (28:38):
That's good.
Speaker 2 (28:39):
I hung up the phone and my mom I mean my wife was
like what are you doing?
Like what did you just tell him?
Like do you need to go?
Like you need to go right now?
Like wow, why did you just tellhim?
To tell God, and theneverything's gonna be like.
She was like what are you doing?
And I was like it's gonna beokay, everything's gonna be okay
.
Well, the guy comes over thenext day and he looks like he's
seen a ghost and I was like hey,are you okay?
(29:01):
Like what's going on?
He was like well, I gotta behonest, like I thought I was a
believer, but I was not.
I talked to God and I'm tellingyou this is the first time that
I've ever expressed salvationin Jesus being my Lord.
Speaker 1 (29:17):
And so in that moment , that situation Wow, you're
giving me goosebumps.
Speaker 2 (29:21):
That situation taught me that it is I mean cause we
always say it like it's justgiven to God.
And I'm telling you, when we dothat, it always works out
better than if I jumped in.
If I jumped in, I probablywould have like said like, oh
man, you're great, you're doingfine, like everything's fine,
like it's gonna be great, andyou know, he just needed to talk
(29:43):
to God for the first time.
And so I think about that withlife, I think about that with
ministry, I think about thatwith my family.
Like we cannot do it all.
Balance is not achievable.
And so we're playing a game ofwhack-a-mole and then we've
gotta decide that every moldthat jumps up, we've gotta give
(30:04):
it to God, and that's thebalance.
And it never, man, like eventhink about the concept of date
night.
You know like that's such agreat topic for marriages is
date night.
But when you think about theproportion of your week that you
spend working or doing otherthings and then you have this
date night, like it's notproportional to my love for my
(30:27):
wife.
Right, Like two hours is nothow much I love my life and so
it's not the balance.
But I tell you what, in thattwo hours or three hours, I'm
gonna make the best of it that Ican, and I really think that
that's what we're all out heredoing.
We're all just trying to makethe best of those moments that
we can.
And I think sometimes balance isa false gospel that the world
(30:48):
teaches and culture teaches andit's like I don't.
I can't die trying to achievethat because it's not obtainable
.
Speaker 1 (30:55):
Right, right and prioritizing.
I mean you obviously, like youprioritize that date night, like
somebody better be dying.
If I'm canceling this ExactlyBecause I really need it with
four, kids.
Speaker 2 (31:10):
I'm gonna need to know your medical statistics
right now, before I come to yourhouse.
Like what's your heartbeat at.
Speaker 1 (31:17):
Right, there you go, there you go.
I love it, I love it.
Okay, well, tell us about yourbook.
You have this wonderful bookthat's don't give up choosing
persistence in a world ofoverwhelming resistance.
And boy, that's a timelymessage.
So tell us a little bit aboutit and where we can find it.
All the things.
Speaker 2 (31:38):
Everyone I talk to usually has this grand desire
dream in their life.
They're like man, I reallywanna see this happen.
I really wanna see that happen.
I have this dream to do thisthing.
I had this dream for my family.
I had this dream to move out tothis piece of land and do all
these things.
And you know, so many peoplethink about the dream and so
(32:00):
little people think about theresistance that's going to
happen on the way to the dream.
And so, really, when I wrote,don't give up just yet.
As I said, you know, ifGalatians 6-9 is true, let us
not grow weary in doing good,for we will reap a harvest at
the proper time if we do notgive up, I feel like there's so
(32:20):
many people in this worldmissing out on the harvest that
God has for them because theygave up.
And so I was like I can't go tocoffee with everyone, like I
can't just sit down over a cupof coffee with everyone.
So how do I write a letter topeople selling them to keep
going?
Because I really do want peopleto see the promises that God
has for them.
And so that's essentially thebook.
(32:41):
I talk about how we canbefriend resistance.
I talk about how we can outlastthe onslaught of life because,
as you mentioned earlier, likethings happen.
And then I talk about how we canchoose persistence in the midst
of resistance, and so really,ultimately, I just wanna see
people walk in the purposes andthe plans that God has for them,
and I just feel like so manypeople give up before they get
(33:04):
there and then they say God'snot good or God didn't love me,
and I just I'm asking thequestion of what?
What if he does love you?
But what if you gave up toosoon?
And so I just wanna help peoplemake it to the finish line.
Speaker 1 (33:19):
It's good, it's good.
So where can they find yourbook?
Speaker 2 (33:23):
You can find it anywhere Barnes, noble, amazon,
all over the place and it's outthere where you would normally
buy your books.
And then my Instagram is inConnolly and then my website is
nickconnollyco, and I'veactually got a few little pieces
of merch there.
If people love, people love themerch, the kids love the merch.
Speaker 1 (33:44):
Yes, they do, they do , and we will link all of that
in our show notes.
So, in case you're looking forsome merch and the book, we'll
link the book in there as welltoo.
So well, nick, thanks forcoming on.
I appreciate this message.
I think you're a voice thatjust speaks truth into it.
You hit some topics that a lotof pastors kind of fluff over a
(34:07):
little bit, and so I love thatyou are not afraid to tell it
how it is and deal with the hardstuff, and it's a good book.
I highly recommend it.
So thanks for coming on.
Thank you for joining us todayin this episode of Gracefield
Grit.
I know that your time isvaluable and I truly appreciate
you being here.
I hope it was helpful and thatyou'll share it with a friend.
(34:30):
In order to schedule amazingguests on our show, we could use
some good reviews.
So if you've enjoyed thisepisode, I'd be honored if you
could head over to the podcastapp on your phone, tap the album
art for the Gracefield Gritpodcast, scroll down to the
bottom of the page and write areview.
I'm looking forward to our nextepisode and I hope you'll join
(34:51):
us again.
Blessings to you today, friend,as you live out your own
Gracefield Grit.
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