July 10, 2025 • 18 mins
Text me a message! I would love to hear from you!
Marriage has been a refining journey that has taught me valuable lessons about love, forgiveness, and partnership over the past 23 years with my husband Michael.
• My husband is not Jesus – only God can heal our deepest wounds and meet our deepest needs
• Forgiveness is required daily – learning to forgive quickly makes marriage healthier and less exhausting
• Laughter is our marriage health check – when laughter fades, it's time to be intentional about reconnecting
• We are partners, not projects – constant criticism closes hearts; seeing the good in each other creates connection
• God knew what He was doing when He joined us together to help each other mature
Covered in Prayer: An Evening for MomsJoin us Saturday, August 9 from 5–7 PM at Awaken Coffee Bar in Mullins, SC for an evening of encouragement, prayer, and community. Enjoy a light meal and connect with other women as we cover our families in prayer. Space is limited, so register now!
Register Here: https://tithe.ly/event-registration/#/10240246
Purchase a copy of my latest book! Covered in Prayer: 31 Prayers to Cover You and Your Children in God's Grace
If you enjoy this episode and want to buy Audrey a coffee, please click here: https://www.buymeacoffee.com/ajmccrac73d
For more mom encouragement visit graceformyhome.com...
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Audrey (00:00):
Hello and welcome back to Grace From my Home.
I'm Audrey McCracken and I'm soglad you've joined me here
again this week.
I hope and pray that you'redoing well.
We're on vacation right now, soI'm tucked away in my hotel
room recording this because Ididn't want to miss a week.
Before I forget.
I want to share with you anevent that's coming up.
(00:22):
I'm pretty excited about it andI wanted to share it with you,
my listeners.
On Saturday, august 9th, from 5to 7 pm, I'm having an event at
our coffee shop, awaken CoffeeBar in Mullen, south Carolina,
and it's called Covered inPrayer A Night for Moms.
I'm really excited about this.
I've had several people who youknow they've purchased my book
(00:45):
Covered in Prayer, but they wantcommunity.
They say you know I pray theseprayers, but I would love to
have a group of women to praytogether, and so that's where
the idea came.
I said, well, we can do that.
So if you live in or around theMullins area and Mullins is in
this it's not too far from theNorth Carolina border and
Mullins is in this it's not toofar from the North Carolina
border, and also it borders upagainst Horry County, which is
(01:08):
the county that Myrtle Beach isin.
So if you live in or aroundthat area and you are interested
, we would love to have you.
I would love to meet you.
The event is free.
It's sponsored by ChristianFellowship Church, which is my
church, also Awaken Coffee Bar,and Grace for my Home, which is
my blog, also Awaken Coffee Barand Grace for my Home, which is
my blog and podcast.
So the event is free, but we doask you to register.
(01:31):
So we have a number.
Space is limited and we want tomake sure we have enough food
for everyone and enough spacefor everyone.
So if that sounds likesomething you'd be interested in
, please go to the show notesand register.
I'll put a.
Please go to the show notes andregister.
I'll put a link there in theshow notes.
I also sent out registrationinformation to those who are on
my email list, so if you are noton my email list, now's a good
(01:54):
time to do that.
You get to stay up to date withthings like this that are going
on, but we would so love tohave you, so if you're
interested in that, like I said,it's going to be Saturday,
august 9th, from 5 to 7 pm.
We will have a meal together,we'll have some time for sharing
and then we will pray togetherfor our children, believing the
Lord to do a work in ourfamilies.
(02:16):
A few weeks ago, I mentioned toyou guys that my husband and I
were celebrating our 23rdwedding anniversary, and we've
been married now 23 years and itdoesn't feel like it.
That was fast.
And when I look back on 23years, first of all I just want
(02:37):
to say I'm so thankful for 23years with Michael.
He is truly a blessing.
But I see where I've grown.
I see so much where I've grown.
And just reflecting on those 23years of marriage, I wanted to
share with you four things thatmarriage has taught me.
Now, it's taught me a lot morethan four things.
(02:58):
I could probably list 20.
But as I was thinking andreflecting, these are the four
that stood out in my mindbecause, honestly, that's what
marriage does.
It makes us grow.
Whether we want to grow or not,it makes us grow.
You know there's a scripture inthe Bible that says iron
sharpens iron, so one mansharpens another, and that's
(03:19):
what marriage is like.
We rub up against each other inall of the hard places and we
sharpen each other and we changeeach other, and it's a good
thing.
But this week I want to sharewith you just four lessons that
marriage has taught me.
Marriage is beautiful, it is agift, it's also a refining
(03:40):
journey, but the first thingthat marriage has taught me is
that my husband is not Jesus.
And you may say well, audrey,you didn't know that before.
Well, I did in theory.
I did in my mind.
If you'd ask, audrey, are youmarrying Jesus?
I'd be like, oh no, I'mmarrying Michael.
But in my heart there was ahope that Michael would fix the
(04:05):
areas where I was broken.
See, when I came to the Lord, Iwas broken.
When I came to Jesus, I was amess and he did a lot of healing
.
Some of it was instant, butmost of it has been a process.
And when I came to Mary Michael,I had been serving the Lord for
(04:25):
about seven years at that timeand he had been serving the Lord
a little longer than me, abouteight or nine years.
So we were not new Christians,but definitely not seasoned
Christians either, and we'd bothprayed for our life partner and
we felt like the Lord hadspoken to each of us and put us
(04:46):
in each other's path and webelieved it was the Lord that we
were joined together inmarriage, and I knew he wasn't
Jesus.
I knew he wasn't perfect, butthere was things in my heart
that were still not healed and Ithought that a husband not
necessarily you know Michaelspecifically but a husband would
(05:07):
fill those gaps.
And that's a that's a bigburden to put on somebody, I
learned.
It took me a while, but Ilearned that Michael is not my
savior, he's not my healer.
He is, he cannot make me whole.
Only Jesus can do that.
Now he is my partner and he ismy friend and he is a gift from
(05:34):
the Lord.
But he's human and he is justlike I'm trying to get healed of
things from my past, just likeI'm trying to grow and mature
and let the Lord deal with myflaws and my character issues
and my sin.
So is Michael doing the samething and he's carrying his own
past.
He's dealing with his ownstruggles and I can't fix him
and he can't fix me.
But when we walk together withJesus, jesus helps us.
(05:57):
See, only Jesus can heal, onlyJesus can satisfy those deep
places in both of us.
And as long as he's pulling atme, trying to get me to heal him
, and I'm pulling at him, tryingto get him to heal me and to
meet those deepest needs, bothof us.
While we did that there was atime we were both doing that
(06:18):
both of us were frustrated andleft unsatisfied and feeling
like somewhere along the way wemissed the Lord.
And I, you know, when I, like Isaid when I first came to the
Lord, I had I had a lot ofissues, and I had I still.
When I married Michael, I wasdealing with issues of rejection
(06:40):
, and so I read a lot of thingsinto things that were not there,
because when you have anoffense, when you're dealing
with the fear of rejection, youtake small things as a rejection
that were not meant to be arejection.
They weren't a rejection at all, but because I was still
(07:03):
operating out of an unhealedheart and I was looking to
Michael to make me feel wholeand to make me happy, then I
misinterpreted a lot and I put aburden on him that he could not
carry, and so it took a whilefor us to see what was going on
that God gave us marriage tomeet certain needs, but that he
(07:27):
is always our Savior, that he isthe one who saves, that he is
the one who heals, that he isthe one who meets me in the
deepest places of my heart andthat no person, no human, can do
that only God.
And that no person, no human,can do that only God.
And when we realize that ittakes a lot of pressure off of
(07:50):
our partner because we're notputting that expectation on them
, and then we can enjoy them forwhat they are and for why God
put them in our life.
And you know we're not askingthe impossible of them.
When somebody expects theimpossible of you, it doesn't
make you want to be around them,you know.
You know you cannot meet thatthat need.
You know you cannot meet up totheir expectations and you're
(08:13):
always going to be adisappointment to them and so
you don't want to be around them.
And so when we both grew andrealized marriage is good but
it's not everything, then youknow it was like a relief.
Vow, okay, well, he.
You know I don't have to beperfect and he doesn't have to
be perfect.
Let's let Jesus be perfect andlet's learn how to love each
(08:35):
other the right way.
The second lesson that marriagehas taught me is that
forgiveness is required everyday.
Jesus told his disciples thatthey must forgive 70 times,
seven times, and in marriagethat feels about right.
You can't move forward withsomeone in a relationship when
(08:58):
you're constantly holding on toa fence.
When you're angry, you can'tmove forward, you can't love
that person.
The Bible also says that youshouldn't let the sun go down on
your wrath.
You shouldn't go to bed angry.
Well, I will tell you, I havedone that many times.
(09:19):
I shouldn't and I know Ishouldn't, but I have you.
I have done that many times.
I shouldn't and I know Ishouldn't, but I have, and we
have had to learn.
I have had to learn to forgiveand to move on.
Forgiveness is like breathing.
You need to keep doing it tostay alive.
Your marriage, if it's going tostay alive, you have to learn
(09:40):
how to forgive, and you have toremember that not only do you
have to forgive your partner,but there's going to be times
when you need your partner toforgive you, because you're not
perfect either, and so you needto be generous with your
forgiveness.
You need to be generous withgrace, because you want that to
come back to you.
Now.
(10:01):
Offenses don't last that long,usually in our home, because
I've learned to forgive, and onereason I've learned to forgive
is because I've matured, I'vegrown.
Another reason is becauseunforgiveness is exhausting
Dealing with offense, dealingwith anger, it's exhausting
mentally, physically,emotionally, and I don't want to
(10:24):
live like that anymore.
You know, I don't want strifein my life.
So I've learned to forgivebecause it's so much nicer to
live when you're not constantlyoffended or not constantly upset
or hurt.
And so I've learned that I wantto live in forgiveness.
I want to just let it be a partof our lives where we don't
(10:45):
have to be hurt at every turn,or angry or upset.
And also I've learned Michael'sheart.
I've learned over the yearsthat he does not want to hurt me
.
He's not trying to hurt me.
I've come to trust that hedidn't get it right all the time
, but his heart is to do what isright by me, and so forgiveness
(11:05):
is required every day in ahealthy marriage.
The third lesson that I'velearned in 23 years of marriage
is that laughter is the healthcheck of our marriage.
When we're laughing together,we're in a good place.
When we're laughing together,we're in a good place.
But when that laughter fades,it's time to be intentional
(11:27):
about putting joy back into ourmarriage.
That's the time when, ifpossible and I know that during
different seasons this is not aseasy as it is during other
seasons but if possible, that'swhen you need to spend some time
together doing something fun,doing something that's not
serious, you know, going to themovies together, going and
(11:48):
having a meal together, going onvacation, just sitting in the
living room and watching funnymovies together something to
help you to connect and to laughtogether.
You know, not talking about thebills, not talking about the
kids or work, just doingsomething that you both enjoy,
where you can enjoy each otherand you can remember why you
married each other and thethings that you love about each
(12:11):
other.
And that keeps things light andthat keeps things healthy.
You know, when everything isserious, it just sucks all the
life out of your home and out ofyour marriage.
So laughter is a way to tojudge where are we right now,
and the good thing about it isyou can always add it.
(12:31):
That's not only is it a goodcheck, it's also a good
ingredient to add back into yourmarriage.
The fourth lesson that I'velearned from 23 years of
marriage is that we are partnersand we are not projects.
The Bible says submit one toanother and in marriage we are a
(12:51):
gift from the Lord to eachother.
Michael is my gift and I am hisgift, and we are partners and
we do life together.
He is not my project to fix andI am not his project to fix.
And that is so hard when yousee things and you want to say
(13:12):
things, to remember he is not myproject to fix.
Now does that mean there's nota time to say something?
No, you have the right to saysomething when you feel like you
need to say something.
But let me just tell you, themore you say, the less he hears.
See, the more picky I am andthe more fault I find, then, the
(13:33):
less and less he listens when Ishare something with him.
That is important, because ifhe sees me as always finding
fault and always being critical,then he closes his heart to me.
And so I've learned through theyears that it is wise not to
say everything that you think ornot to call into question every
(13:55):
little thing.
Let a lot of things slide.
That's part of being married,that you are an imperfect person
married to another imperfectperson, and if we're constantly
picking at each other andfinding fault with each other,
there is no joy in that marriageand there's and you don't want
to be around that person.
None of us want to be aroundsomeone who is critical all the
time or finding fault with us.
(14:16):
We want to be around people whosee the good in us, who believe
good things about us and whoencourage us.
That's who we want to be aroundand so that's who we need to be
, so that our partner wants tobe with us and so that our
partner wants to be with us andso that our partner, when we do
need to say something that maynot be easy to say, that they
have ears to hear, that they canhear our heart behind it and
(14:38):
they know.
Okay, if she's telling me this,then this must be important and
I've had to learn that.
I've had to learn that I am notMichael's mother.
I am his wife.
He does not need another mother.
He has a mother.
She is a great mother.
I am not a good mother forMichael.
I need to be careful how muchadvice I give.
(14:59):
If Michael asks my opinion, I'mgoing to freely give it, but
there are a lot of areas thatI'm not going to give my opinion
, unless he asks Now if it'simportant, if it affects our
children and you know it affectssomething that I think is
really important for me to sharethis that he may not like this,
but I need to share it.
(15:21):
I'll share it, but I'm notlooking for those things.
I will deal with those thingsas they come.
You will enjoy marriage so muchmore when you start living as
partners and not projects, andit starts with you.
You know you cannot controlwhat your husband does.
You can't control him.
You are only responsible foryourself.
(15:42):
Are there things I wish weredifferent about my husband?
Absolutely?
Are there things I wish I couldjust change?
Absolutely?
And I'm sure I know he feelsthe same way about me.
But as we've grown togetherover the years, as we've learned
each other's heart, we'velearned to trust each other, our
marriage has become sweeter.
I'm still learning, I'm stillgrowing.
(16:03):
So was my husband, but we'relearning together and maybe
that's what marriage is supposedto be.
Maybe that's why God put ustogether.
He knew what I needed and heknew what Michael needed, and he
knew that together we wouldmature and we would become
better people because of eachother.
And you know, isn't thatbeautiful.
You know God knows what he'sdoing and I want to pray for you
(16:25):
today before I let you go.
Don't forget if you'd like toattend Covered in Prayer, an
evening for moms, just go to theshow notes.
You can register there.
I would so love to have youthere.
If you have any questions also,you can email me.
You can send me a messagethrough Facebook or Instagram.
I'd love to hear from you.
(16:45):
But before I go, let me prayfor you.
Lord, we just thank you for theblessing, the gift of marriage.
Help us to learn to release thepressure that we put on our
spouses to be what only you canbe.
Teach us to love with patience,to forgive freely, to laugh
(17:07):
often and to see each other aspartners in grace.
Help us to grow closer in a waythat honors you In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Have a great week.
Bye-bye.
Hello and welcome back to Grace From my Home.
I'm Audrey McCracken and I'm soglad you've joined me here
again this week.
I hope and pray that you'redoing well.
We're on vacation right now, soI'm tucked away in my hotel
room recording this because Ididn't want to miss a week.
Before I forget.
I want to share with you anevent that's coming up.
(00:22):
I'm pretty excited about it andI wanted to share it with you,
my listeners.
On Saturday, august 9th, from 5to 7 pm, I'm having an event at
our coffee shop, awaken CoffeeBar in Mullen, south Carolina,
and it's called Covered inPrayer A Night for Moms.
I'm really excited about this.
I've had several people who youknow they've purchased my book
(00:45):
Covered in Prayer, but they wantcommunity.
They say you know I pray theseprayers, but I would love to
have a group of women to praytogether, and so that's where
the idea came.
I said, well, we can do that.
So if you live in or around theMullins area and Mullins is in
this it's not too far from theNorth Carolina border and
Mullins is in this it's not toofar from the North Carolina
border, and also it borders upagainst Horry County, which is
(01:08):
the county that Myrtle Beach isin.
So if you live in or aroundthat area and you are interested
, we would love to have you.
I would love to meet you.
The event is free.
It's sponsored by ChristianFellowship Church, which is my
church, also Awaken Coffee Bar,and Grace for my Home, which is
my blog, also Awaken Coffee Barand Grace for my Home, which is
my blog and podcast.
So the event is free, but we doask you to register.
(01:31):
So we have a number.
Space is limited and we want tomake sure we have enough food
for everyone and enough spacefor everyone.
So if that sounds likesomething you'd be interested in
, please go to the show notesand register.
I'll put a.
Please go to the show notes andregister.
I'll put a link there in theshow notes.
I also sent out registrationinformation to those who are on
my email list, so if you are noton my email list, now's a good
(01:54):
time to do that.
You get to stay up to date withthings like this that are going
on, but we would so love tohave you, so if you're
interested in that, like I said,it's going to be Saturday,
august 9th, from 5 to 7 pm.
We will have a meal together,we'll have some time for sharing
and then we will pray togetherfor our children, believing the
Lord to do a work in ourfamilies.
(02:16):
A few weeks ago, I mentioned toyou guys that my husband and I
were celebrating our 23rdwedding anniversary, and we've
been married now 23 years and itdoesn't feel like it.
That was fast.
And when I look back on 23years, first of all I just want
(02:37):
to say I'm so thankful for 23years with Michael.
He is truly a blessing.
But I see where I've grown.
I see so much where I've grown.
And just reflecting on those 23years of marriage, I wanted to
share with you four things thatmarriage has taught me.
Now, it's taught me a lot morethan four things.
(02:58):
I could probably list 20.
But as I was thinking andreflecting, these are the four
that stood out in my mindbecause, honestly, that's what
marriage does.
It makes us grow.
Whether we want to grow or not,it makes us grow.
You know there's a scripture inthe Bible that says iron
sharpens iron, so one mansharpens another, and that's
(03:19):
what marriage is like.
We rub up against each other inall of the hard places and we
sharpen each other and we changeeach other, and it's a good
thing.
But this week I want to sharewith you just four lessons that
marriage has taught me.
Marriage is beautiful, it is agift, it's also a refining
(03:40):
journey, but the first thingthat marriage has taught me is
that my husband is not Jesus.
And you may say well, audrey,you didn't know that before.
Well, I did in theory.
I did in my mind.
If you'd ask, audrey, are youmarrying Jesus?
I'd be like, oh no, I'mmarrying Michael.
But in my heart there was ahope that Michael would fix the
(04:05):
areas where I was broken.
See, when I came to the Lord, Iwas broken.
When I came to Jesus, I was amess and he did a lot of healing
.
Some of it was instant, butmost of it has been a process.
And when I came to Mary Michael,I had been serving the Lord for
(04:25):
about seven years at that timeand he had been serving the Lord
a little longer than me, abouteight or nine years.
So we were not new Christians,but definitely not seasoned
Christians either, and we'd bothprayed for our life partner and
we felt like the Lord hadspoken to each of us and put us
(04:46):
in each other's path and webelieved it was the Lord that we
were joined together inmarriage, and I knew he wasn't
Jesus.
I knew he wasn't perfect, butthere was things in my heart
that were still not healed and Ithought that a husband not
necessarily you know Michaelspecifically but a husband would
(05:07):
fill those gaps.
And that's a that's a bigburden to put on somebody, I
learned.
It took me a while, but Ilearned that Michael is not my
savior, he's not my healer.
He is, he cannot make me whole.
Only Jesus can do that.
Now he is my partner and he ismy friend and he is a gift from
(05:34):
the Lord.
But he's human and he is justlike I'm trying to get healed of
things from my past, just likeI'm trying to grow and mature
and let the Lord deal with myflaws and my character issues
and my sin.
So is Michael doing the samething and he's carrying his own
past.
He's dealing with his ownstruggles and I can't fix him
and he can't fix me.
But when we walk together withJesus, jesus helps us.
(05:57):
See, only Jesus can heal, onlyJesus can satisfy those deep
places in both of us.
And as long as he's pulling atme, trying to get me to heal him
, and I'm pulling at him, tryingto get him to heal me and to
meet those deepest needs, bothof us.
While we did that there was atime we were both doing that
(06:18):
both of us were frustrated andleft unsatisfied and feeling
like somewhere along the way wemissed the Lord.
And I, you know, when I, like Isaid when I first came to the
Lord, I had I had a lot ofissues, and I had I still.
When I married Michael, I wasdealing with issues of rejection
(06:40):
, and so I read a lot of thingsinto things that were not there,
because when you have anoffense, when you're dealing
with the fear of rejection, youtake small things as a rejection
that were not meant to be arejection.
They weren't a rejection at all, but because I was still
(07:03):
operating out of an unhealedheart and I was looking to
Michael to make me feel wholeand to make me happy, then I
misinterpreted a lot and I put aburden on him that he could not
carry, and so it took a whilefor us to see what was going on
that God gave us marriage tomeet certain needs, but that he
(07:27):
is always our Savior, that he isthe one who saves, that he is
the one who heals, that he isthe one who meets me in the
deepest places of my heart andthat no person, no human, can do
that only God.
And that no person, no human,can do that only God.
And when we realize that ittakes a lot of pressure off of
(07:50):
our partner because we're notputting that expectation on them
, and then we can enjoy them forwhat they are and for why God
put them in our life.
And you know we're not askingthe impossible of them.
When somebody expects theimpossible of you, it doesn't
make you want to be around them,you know.
You know you cannot meet thatthat need.
You know you cannot meet up totheir expectations and you're
(08:13):
always going to be adisappointment to them and so
you don't want to be around them.
And so when we both grew andrealized marriage is good but
it's not everything, then youknow it was like a relief.
Vow, okay, well, he.
You know I don't have to beperfect and he doesn't have to
be perfect.
Let's let Jesus be perfect andlet's learn how to love each
(08:35):
other the right way.
The second lesson that marriagehas taught me is that
forgiveness is required everyday.
Jesus told his disciples thatthey must forgive 70 times,
seven times, and in marriagethat feels about right.
You can't move forward withsomeone in a relationship when
(08:58):
you're constantly holding on toa fence.
When you're angry, you can'tmove forward, you can't love
that person.
The Bible also says that youshouldn't let the sun go down on
your wrath.
You shouldn't go to bed angry.
Well, I will tell you, I havedone that many times.
(09:19):
I shouldn't and I know Ishouldn't, but I have you.
I have done that many times.
I shouldn't and I know Ishouldn't, but I have, and we
have had to learn.
I have had to learn to forgiveand to move on.
Forgiveness is like breathing.
You need to keep doing it tostay alive.
Your marriage, if it's going tostay alive, you have to learn
(09:40):
how to forgive, and you have toremember that not only do you
have to forgive your partner,but there's going to be times
when you need your partner toforgive you, because you're not
perfect either, and so you needto be generous with your
forgiveness.
You need to be generous withgrace, because you want that to
come back to you.
Now.
(10:01):
Offenses don't last that long,usually in our home, because
I've learned to forgive, and onereason I've learned to forgive
is because I've matured, I'vegrown.
Another reason is becauseunforgiveness is exhausting
Dealing with offense, dealingwith anger, it's exhausting
mentally, physically,emotionally, and I don't want to
(10:24):
live like that anymore.
You know, I don't want strifein my life.
So I've learned to forgivebecause it's so much nicer to
live when you're not constantlyoffended or not constantly upset
or hurt.
And so I've learned that I wantto live in forgiveness.
I want to just let it be a partof our lives where we don't
(10:45):
have to be hurt at every turn,or angry or upset.
And also I've learned Michael'sheart.
I've learned over the yearsthat he does not want to hurt me
.
He's not trying to hurt me.
I've come to trust that hedidn't get it right all the time
, but his heart is to do what isright by me, and so forgiveness
(11:05):
is required every day in ahealthy marriage.
The third lesson that I'velearned in 23 years of marriage
is that laughter is the healthcheck of our marriage.
When we're laughing together,we're in a good place.
When we're laughing together,we're in a good place.
But when that laughter fades,it's time to be intentional
(11:27):
about putting joy back into ourmarriage.
That's the time when, ifpossible and I know that during
different seasons this is not aseasy as it is during other
seasons but if possible, that'swhen you need to spend some time
together doing something fun,doing something that's not
serious, you know, going to themovies together, going and
(11:48):
having a meal together, going onvacation, just sitting in the
living room and watching funnymovies together something to
help you to connect and to laughtogether.
You know, not talking about thebills, not talking about the
kids or work, just doingsomething that you both enjoy,
where you can enjoy each otherand you can remember why you
married each other and thethings that you love about each
(12:11):
other.
And that keeps things light andthat keeps things healthy.
You know, when everything isserious, it just sucks all the
life out of your home and out ofyour marriage.
So laughter is a way to tojudge where are we right now,
and the good thing about it isyou can always add it.
(12:31):
That's not only is it a goodcheck, it's also a good
ingredient to add back into yourmarriage.
The fourth lesson that I'velearned from 23 years of
marriage is that we are partnersand we are not projects.
The Bible says submit one toanother and in marriage we are a
(12:51):
gift from the Lord to eachother.
Michael is my gift and I am hisgift, and we are partners and
we do life together.
He is not my project to fix andI am not his project to fix.
And that is so hard when yousee things and you want to say
(13:12):
things, to remember he is not myproject to fix.
Now does that mean there's nota time to say something?
No, you have the right to saysomething when you feel like you
need to say something.
But let me just tell you, themore you say, the less he hears.
See, the more picky I am andthe more fault I find, then, the
(13:33):
less and less he listens when Ishare something with him.
That is important, because ifhe sees me as always finding
fault and always being critical,then he closes his heart to me.
And so I've learned through theyears that it is wise not to
say everything that you think ornot to call into question every
(13:55):
little thing.
Let a lot of things slide.
That's part of being married,that you are an imperfect person
married to another imperfectperson, and if we're constantly
picking at each other andfinding fault with each other,
there is no joy in that marriageand there's and you don't want
to be around that person.
None of us want to be aroundsomeone who is critical all the
time or finding fault with us.
(14:16):
We want to be around people whosee the good in us, who believe
good things about us and whoencourage us.
That's who we want to be aroundand so that's who we need to be
, so that our partner wants tobe with us and so that our
partner wants to be with us andso that our partner, when we do
need to say something that maynot be easy to say, that they
have ears to hear, that they canhear our heart behind it and
(14:38):
they know.
Okay, if she's telling me this,then this must be important and
I've had to learn that.
I've had to learn that I am notMichael's mother.
I am his wife.
He does not need another mother.
He has a mother.
She is a great mother.
I am not a good mother forMichael.
I need to be careful how muchadvice I give.
(14:59):
If Michael asks my opinion, I'mgoing to freely give it, but
there are a lot of areas thatI'm not going to give my opinion
, unless he asks Now if it'simportant, if it affects our
children and you know it affectssomething that I think is
really important for me to sharethis that he may not like this,
but I need to share it.
(15:21):
I'll share it, but I'm notlooking for those things.
I will deal with those thingsas they come.
You will enjoy marriage so muchmore when you start living as
partners and not projects, andit starts with you.
You know you cannot controlwhat your husband does.
You can't control him.
You are only responsible foryourself.
(15:42):
Are there things I wish weredifferent about my husband?
Absolutely?
Are there things I wish I couldjust change?
Absolutely?
And I'm sure I know he feelsthe same way about me.
But as we've grown togetherover the years, as we've learned
each other's heart, we'velearned to trust each other, our
marriage has become sweeter.
I'm still learning, I'm stillgrowing.
(16:03):
So was my husband, but we'relearning together and maybe
that's what marriage is supposedto be.
Maybe that's why God put ustogether.
He knew what I needed and heknew what Michael needed, and he
knew that together we wouldmature and we would become
better people because of eachother.
And you know, isn't thatbeautiful.
You know God knows what he'sdoing and I want to pray for you
(16:25):
today before I let you go.
Don't forget if you'd like toattend Covered in Prayer, an
evening for moms, just go to theshow notes.
You can register there.
I would so love to have youthere.
If you have any questions also,you can email me.
You can send me a messagethrough Facebook or Instagram.
I'd love to hear from you.
(16:45):
But before I go, let me prayfor you.
Lord, we just thank you for theblessing, the gift of marriage.
Help us to learn to release thepressure that we put on our
spouses to be what only you canbe.
Teach us to love with patience,to forgive freely, to laugh
(17:07):
often and to see each other aspartners in grace.
Help us to grow closer in a waythat honors you In Jesus' name.
Amen.
Have a great week.
Bye-bye.
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