May 8, 2025 • 23 mins
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Have you ever felt trapped in a spiral of negativity, where every challenge seems to confirm that life is just hard? That's exactly where I found myself years ago as a new stay-at-home mom to three young children. My home began feeling more like a prison than the sanctuary I'd envisioned.
When my husband finally pointed out how negative I'd become, I was initially furious. But that observation catalyzed the change I needed.
This episode is about the power of gratitude and positive perspective as revealed in Proverbs 15:15: "All the days of the afflicted are made evil, but those of a merry heart have a continual feast." When we see ourselves as victims, we unconsciously filter our experiences through that lens, confirming our negative expectations. But when we cultivate thankfulness, we begin noticing the countless blessings that were always there.
This isn't about embracing "toxic positivity" or denying legitimate struggles. Rather, it's about recognizing that thankfulness keeps us in right relationship with God and transforms how we experience our daily lives. Through practical steps like keeping a gratitude journal and consciously choosing to "look up" rather than "look down," we can break free from negativity's grip and experience joy regardless of circumstances.
What would change if you started intentionally documenting God's faithfulness in your life? How might shifting your perspective from "afflicted" to "blessed" transform not just your experience, but the atmosphere you create for those around you? Join me in choosing to see the things around us through His eys.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Audrey (00:01):
Hello and welcome back to Grace From my Home.
I hope and pray that you'redoing well.
We are.
We're doing great.
The weather is beautiful rightnow in South Carolina.
It's not too hot, it's not toocold.
I love to go walking in theafternoons.
That's my way of kind ofdecompressing and getting a
(00:22):
little bit of exercise, and it'sjust perfect weather for that.
Soon it'll be very hot and Iwon't be able to go until late
at night, if at all, and in thewinter sometimes it gets chilly,
but right now it's just perfectand beautiful, beautiful
outside.
Living here with three teenagersyou know they keep me young.
(00:43):
Here with three teenagers, youknow they keep me young.
The good thing about havingkids late is that you're doing
things that people 10, 20 yearsyounger than you are doing.
You know you're still going toball games and preparing for
prom and those kind of things,and so so you know your kids
keep you young.
Sometimes we say they make usold, but they keep us young too,
(01:05):
because they make us get outand do things that we otherwise
would not be doing.
I would not be at a ball fieldunless I had children who were
playing.
So my son has possibly his lastsoccer game.
Tonight he's in the playoffs.
His soccer team made it to theplayoffs and that may be his
(01:26):
last game playing for his highschool.
So he's been playing since hewas a tiny little thing, four or
five years old.
So it's bittersweet.
It's the end of an era.
Today, I want to talk with youabout letting the good outweigh
(01:46):
the bad, letting the positivesin your life outnumber the
negatives.
You know, thankfulness is soimportant because it helps us.
It makes us concentrate onwhat's good, on what's going
well, on the positive things, onwhat's good, on what's going
well, on the positive things.
(02:07):
Now, I've heard a lot of talkrecently on social media and
different podcasts that I listento about toxic positivity, and
I get it.
I understand the concept.
You know, sometimes we can beso determined to be positive
that it's to a fault, and Idon't want to be that kind of
person.
I don't.
I almost see that as very fake.
(02:29):
You know, we don't ever discussanything negative, it's just
everything's happy, happy.
And I don't want to be thatkind of person, but at the same
time, I do want to be a positiveperson.
I don't want to be a toxicallypositive person, but I would
much rather be a positive personthan a negative person.
You know, I don't want to be atoxically positive person, but I
would much rather be a positiveperson than a negative person.
You know, I don't think weunderstand how important
(02:50):
Thanksgiving is.
It talks in Romans 1 a littleabout Thanksgiving and I want to
read that.
That's not the scripture that Iwant to concentrate on today,
but I do want to read that.
And in Romans 1, it talks aboutmankind's fall and his descent
(03:15):
into depravity and how man wentfrom worshiping God to
worshiping idols.
And in Romans, chapter 1,starting, we'll start in verse
20,.
It says For since the creationof the world, god's invisible
qualities, his eternal power.
(03:36):
And Starting, we'll start inverse 20.
It says they neither glorifiedhim as God nor gave thanks to
him, but their thinking becamefutile and their foolish hearts
were darkened.
And although they claimed to bewise, they became fools and
exchanged the glory of theimmortal God for images made to
(03:57):
look like mortal human beings,birds, animals and reptiles.
Therefore, god gave them over,in the sinful desires of their
hearts, to sexual impurity, forthe degrading of their bodies
with one another.
And it goes on to talk abouthow they exchanged the truth of
God for lie, and they worshipedthose things that had been
(04:18):
created rather than the creator.
I just want you to pay specialattention there In verse 21.
It says for although they knewGod, they neither glorified him
as God nor gave thanks to him.
That's how important givingthanks is.
If we're going to stay in aright relationship with God, we
(04:43):
have to first of all honor himas God.
We have to remember that he hasa place of honor, that he is
our father, but he's also God,that he is our savior, but he's
also the creator of the entireuniverse.
And so, even though we relateto him as a child would relate
(05:04):
to his or her father, we alsohave to remember he is God
Almighty and give him thatreverence that's due his name.
And not only give him thatreverence, but to thank him.
See, when we thank people, whenwe thank God, we remember that
the good things in our life arebecause of Him.
(05:26):
And then we remember thatthere's good things in our lives
, because that's really easy toforget.
You know, if we're alwaysconcentrating on what's not
right, on what we don't have, onwhat we wish was different,
then we do not see the goodthings right before our eyes and
that's human nature.
(05:47):
And so when we make a habit tobe thankful, when we make a
decision to see the things thatwe've been blessed with and to
acknowledge them as gifts fromGod, then it changes our
perspective.
Then it changes our perspective, we see the world through a
(06:07):
different set of eyes.
You know, negativity is aspiral and once you get on it
it's hard to get off and it justtakes you on a ride.
You don't want to go on and thebest solution is not to start.
The best solution is not to geton that road because it's hard
(06:37):
to get off.
But when we can purposelydecide to be thankful, to
recognize the good things thatGod has blessed us with, it
changes so many things.
It may not immediately changeour circumstances, but it will
definitely change ourperspective in our circumstances
.
Many, many years ago, when mychildren were young and I had
just come home to be with them,I just quit my position and I
was a stay-at-home mom and I waswith my children all day, every
(06:57):
day, the way that I wanted it.
I had prayed to be able to dothat and God answered that
prayer.
And then, like so many things,it's never the way you think
it's going to be.
In my mind I had all thesewonderful things we're going to
do and when I come home, realityhit me like a brick.
(07:18):
And I remember having afive-year-old, a four-year-old
and one that was almost two, andthe five and four were so busy
that I could barely keep up withthem.
And then I'm trying to takecare of the little one and his
needs and I know you mamas withsix or seven are probably like,
(07:41):
oh, that's nothing, girl.
Well, it was a lot for me andyou know my personality.
I wanted everything in controland I felt completely out of
control.
Everything was out of controlis the way it felt.
And you know, I felt like I wasjust surviving.
And there was a particularseason when there was a lot
going on in our church.
(08:03):
We had some issues in ourchurch that we were trying to
work through, trying to dealwith, trying to figure out.
I had some health issues that Iwas struggling with, couldn't
figure out what was going on,but I knew something wasn't
right and it was affecting how.
You know how much energy I hadand I'm not naturally a nurturer
(08:23):
Like that's something that Ihad to learn, you know I had to
pray about.
And so I was home all day withthese children, and there were
days, at the end of the day, myhusband would get home and I
would just walk out the door I'dsay okay, tag, it's your turn.
If I don't get out of here, I'mgoing to bust.
And it was so funny because theLord had to keep reminding me
(08:47):
this is what you prayed for,remember?
You wanted to come home and bea stay-at-home mom.
Well, this is what it's like.
And so reality set in and I hadto remember okay, this is what
I prayed for, this is the answerto my prayer.
But I was depleted, and I feltdepleted of all resources and I
(09:08):
felt stuck and my house feltmore like a prison than it did a
home, and I felt isolated andlike the whole world was
happening and I was forgotten.
And you know, I unloaded on myhusband.
When he come home, I tell himeverything that happened, that
forgotten.
And you know, I unloaded on myhusband.
When he come home, I tell himeverything that happened that
day.
And you know, and I just Iwanted somebody to make me feel
(09:32):
like this is going to be OK,like you haven't made a mistake.
You know you didn't miss God.
I just wanted somebody to tellme that it was going to be OK.
But after doing that constantly,you know, my husband comes in
and I just unload on him becausehe's the first adult that I've
seen that day, you know, thatwore on him and I remember one
particular day where he came inand I was unloading on him about
(09:57):
my day and this happened andthat happened, and and you
wouldn't believe what he did.
And, and I remember he lookedat me and he said Audrey, you
are such a negative person.
And it made me angry, likeangry, like two days angry.
I could not believe that.
(10:18):
He said that to me because Iwas struggling and I was just
looking to him for validationthat I'm not going crazy, that I
can do this, that this isnormal.
But I was wearing him down too,and so I, you know I came back
(10:39):
with no, I am not.
I am not a negative person, I'ma very positive person.
And after, you know, I got overit.
I realized he was right.
I had become a very negativeperson because I felt defeated.
I felt like everything that Idid did not work.
(11:00):
Everything that I did did notwork and I was afraid of people
finding out that I was failingin all these areas.
And, guys, I really wasn'tfailing on these areas, it just
felt like it because I justdidn't feel like I knew what I
was doing.
And so I felt like a failure.
And around that same time I cameacross a story of a missionary,
(11:24):
and I think it was a story Iwas reading to my children
because I tried to read to themevery day, even when they were
young.
And I love missionary storiesbecause, I don't know, I hear
these stories about these menand these women who went to very
hard places, and that's how Ifelt.
They went to very hard placeswhere no one knew they were
(11:47):
there, except for maybe theirfamily, and they did things for
God and they got no glory for it.
And that encouraged me.
And so I was reading this storyabout a young missionary who
had gone with her husband.
She'd gotten married and gonewith her husband on the mission
field and she was writingletters because you know this is
before telephones and she'swriting back and forth to her
(12:10):
parents and telling them justhow awful it was.
It was hot and nobody wasreceiving the message and the
community where they wereministering hadn't really
received them and they wereseeing no fruit and they were
struggling financially.
And it was just, it was.
(12:32):
It wasn't good.
And so every letter that shewas sending back home, she was
complaining about her situation.
And she said one day she got aletter from home which was
always a joy to get somethingback from home and she got this
letter from home and in it was asimple poem from her dad.
And the poem said two menlooked through prison bars.
(12:55):
One saw mud, the other stars,the other stars, and that's all
it said.
But she got the point.
You can have two people in thesame situation, the same jail
cell, if you will, and itdepends on where they're looking
(13:16):
at, what they see.
If you're looking down, you'regoing to see the mud, but if you
can look up, you're going tosee the stars.
And sitting on the couch readingthat to my children, God spoke
to me and he said where are youlooking?
Are you looking down at the mud?
Are you looking at all theproblems?
(13:36):
Are you looking at how you knowthis is just not fair and this
isn't right?
Or are you looking up to meBecause I can show you things
that will change yourperspective.
But you've got to decide thatyou're willing to change
yourself.
But you've got to decide thatyou're willing to let go of the
(14:00):
right to be mad, to be offended,to be hurt.
You've got to decide that I'mgoing to find the positive where
I am.
I'm not going to be a victimwhere I am.
Which leads me to another verse,the verse that I want to share
with you today, which is inProverbs 15.
(14:22):
Proverbs 15, 15 says All thedays of the afflicted are made
evil, but he that is of a merryheart has a continual feast,
regardless of circumstances, andthe Lord has used that to
(14:48):
remind me so many times thatit's how I see myself that
determines how my days are goingto go, how I see myself.
If I see myself as one that isafflicted, one that always gets
the short end of the stick, onethat is the victim, then my days
are going to be wretched,they're going to be hard,
because that's what I'm lookingfor, and we rarely disappoint
ourselves when we're looking forproblems.
You know you will find whatyou're looking for.
(15:10):
If you're looking for Jesus,you will find him, but if you're
looking for problems, if you'relooking for fault, you will
easily find that too, and so allthe days of the afflicted are
made evil.
Are you afflicted?
Do you see yourself as theafflicted person, as the victim?
Because if you do, then you'regoing to always be looking down
(15:33):
at the negative and the problemsand they're going to multiply,
because the more you concentrateon them, the bigger they become
.
But if you decide that you'regoing to be the other person,
the one that is of a merry heart, if you decide that's going to
be me, then you will have acontinuous feast and the
amplified version saysregardless of circumstances.
(15:55):
In other words, mycircumstances don't determine my
attitude, don't determine myjoy, they don't determine if
things are going to go well forme.
They're going to go well for me.
They may not look well rightnow, it may not feel good right
now, but we're not staying here.
We're going to go through thisand we're going to have a feast.
(16:17):
We're going to feast on theword of God.
We're going to enjoy our family, we're going to enjoy this life
that we've been given, and thatis a choice.
See, sometimes we forget thatthat's a choice, that enjoying
our life is a choice.
Guys, I am not saying that badthings don't happen if your
heart is right.
I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that we don'thave to deal with bad days.
(16:40):
I'm not saying that it's wrongto complain.
I'm not saying that it's wrongto complain.
I'm not seeing any of thosethings.
I'm saying that you have totake inventory of your own
attitude and find out whereyou're looking.
Are you looking up?
Are you looking to Jesus?
Are you looking for good thingsto happen?
Are you thankful for the goodthings that have happened, or
are you looking down at the mudand expecting the worst, because
(17:04):
it feels like that's all thatever happens and it is all that
will ever happen, if that'swhere you're looking Now, this
is a hard word.
It sounds like I'm rebuking you.
I'm not.
I'm just reminding you and inreminding you I'm reminding
myself that we're going to gothrough this world.
We're going to go throughthings, but it doesn't mean that
(17:27):
we cannot be joyful.
It doesn't mean that we can'tenjoy this life that we've been
given.
And, you know, I think about mychildren when they were that
young.
And you know, just imaginebeing stuck in a house all day
and the one person that you havethat's there to meet your needs
is angry.
And the one person that you'relooking to, for you know,
(17:52):
attention and love is justmiserable, you know and has a
scowl on her face all day.
That was me.
That was me and I thought,bless their heart, I feel like
I'm in a prison.
I mean, they're really in aprison and I don't want them to
have those kind of memories.
I don't want them to think backand think, man, I wish my mom
(18:13):
would have just gone to work andyou know, I want them to be
glad that I was able to be withthem.
I don't want them to look backand think, man, my mom was never
happy.
You know, she might havesacrificed her job to come home
with me, but we were miserable.
(18:33):
You know what joy is in that,what reward is in that.
I want them to think back andremember a mama that loved being
with them, that enjoyed beingwith them.
No, I'm not perfect.
No, I got it wrong a lot, but Iwant them to remember that I
enjoyed them, that we enjoyedlife together and that we don't
have to let the bad days keep usfrom enjoying our life.
(18:55):
We don't have to be looking forthe bad.
We can look for the good anddeal with the bad when it comes,
we have to decide that we aregoing to make sure that the
positive things in our lifeoutnumber the negative things
and that the good thingsoutweigh the bad things.
We're going to get a mixture ofboth, but we're going to be
(19:17):
thankful for the good and seethem multiply.
For many years I've kept agratitude journal.
I read Ann Voskamp's book yearsago and it did something in my
heart and I saw the importanceof jotting down the things
you're thankful for.
And see, I was the kind ofperson like, well, why would I
(19:37):
do that?
I'll just say, hey, lord, thankyou.
But there's something aboutwriting it down, there's
something about getting on paper, there's something about
catching it.
It's kind of like catching abird that's flying over your
head.
You know, I'm not just, I'mgoing to capture it and I'm
going to write it down in thisbook so that I don't just
remember right now, but tomorrowI can look back and remember
(19:57):
what I was thankful for todayand next week and the next week,
and it's like it makes it morereal.
It makes those things thatyou're thankful for more real
when you commit them to paperand it reminds you of the
goodness of God.
You know God does things for usevery day, and when we write
them down and we can go back andlook over our life, it's like,
(20:17):
wow, god has been faithful andthat helps us in seasons when we
need him to do something for us.
Today, you know, I can go backand look and say when I was
struggling here, he answeredthat prayer, when we didn't know
how we were going to pay thisbill, and God made a way.
You know, that gives me faithfor tomorrow's bill.
(20:39):
Those things are important, andso we have to commit ourselves
to being thankful, toremembering the goodness of God,
to remembering to worship himas God, and to decide that we're
not going to be the afflicted.
We're going to be those of athankful heart, those of a
(21:00):
cheerful heart, and we're goingto live in a continuous feast
because we're going to recognizethe good things that God does
for us every day.
I want to be that kind of personthat recognizes hey, I'm so
blessed.
You can be so blessed and noteven recognize it.
You can be completely blessedand be miserable because you
(21:22):
think that somehow other peoplehave it better than you.
Maybe that's why I like thosemissionary stories, because I
read their life and I read abouthow faithful they were and how
dedicated they were and how theypersevered and how they
struggled.
And they did this without thesupport systems that I have,
without the things I have,without the money that I have,
(21:45):
without the electricity, and I'mlike Lord, if they could be
faithful there, surely you knowI can be thankful and faithful
here and I hope that this hasencouraged you today.
I hope that it has spoken toyou and I hope that you have a
great week.
Remember keep your eyes onJesus.
(22:07):
He loves you.
He's got good things in store.
Bye-bye.
Hello and welcome back to Grace From my Home.
I hope and pray that you'redoing well.
We are.
We're doing great.
The weather is beautiful rightnow in South Carolina.
It's not too hot, it's not toocold.
I love to go walking in theafternoons.
That's my way of kind ofdecompressing and getting a
(00:22):
little bit of exercise, and it'sjust perfect weather for that.
Soon it'll be very hot and Iwon't be able to go until late
at night, if at all, and in thewinter sometimes it gets chilly,
but right now it's just perfectand beautiful, beautiful
outside.
Living here with three teenagersyou know they keep me young.
(00:43):
Here with three teenagers, youknow they keep me young.
The good thing about havingkids late is that you're doing
things that people 10, 20 yearsyounger than you are doing.
You know you're still going toball games and preparing for
prom and those kind of things,and so so you know your kids
keep you young.
Sometimes we say they make usold, but they keep us young too,
(01:05):
because they make us get outand do things that we otherwise
would not be doing.
I would not be at a ball fieldunless I had children who were
playing.
So my son has possibly his lastsoccer game.
Tonight he's in the playoffs.
His soccer team made it to theplayoffs and that may be his
(01:26):
last game playing for his highschool.
So he's been playing since hewas a tiny little thing, four or
five years old.
So it's bittersweet.
It's the end of an era.
Today, I want to talk with youabout letting the good outweigh
(01:46):
the bad, letting the positivesin your life outnumber the
negatives.
You know, thankfulness is soimportant because it helps us.
It makes us concentrate onwhat's good, on what's going
well, on the positive things, onwhat's good, on what's going
well, on the positive things.
(02:07):
Now, I've heard a lot of talkrecently on social media and
different podcasts that I listento about toxic positivity, and
I get it.
I understand the concept.
You know, sometimes we can beso determined to be positive
that it's to a fault, and Idon't want to be that kind of
person.
I don't.
I almost see that as very fake.
(02:29):
You know, we don't ever discussanything negative, it's just
everything's happy, happy.
And I don't want to be thatkind of person, but at the same
time, I do want to be a positiveperson.
I don't want to be a toxicallypositive person, but I would
much rather be a positive personthan a negative person.
You know, I don't want to be atoxically positive person, but I
would much rather be a positiveperson than a negative person.
You know, I don't think weunderstand how important
(02:50):
Thanksgiving is.
It talks in Romans 1 a littleabout Thanksgiving and I want to
read that.
That's not the scripture that Iwant to concentrate on today,
but I do want to read that.
And in Romans 1, it talks aboutmankind's fall and his descent
(03:15):
into depravity and how man wentfrom worshiping God to
worshiping idols.
And in Romans, chapter 1,starting, we'll start in verse
20,.
It says For since the creationof the world, god's invisible
qualities, his eternal power.
(03:36):
And Starting, we'll start inverse 20.
It says they neither glorifiedhim as God nor gave thanks to
him, but their thinking becamefutile and their foolish hearts
were darkened.
And although they claimed to bewise, they became fools and
exchanged the glory of theimmortal God for images made to
(03:57):
look like mortal human beings,birds, animals and reptiles.
Therefore, god gave them over,in the sinful desires of their
hearts, to sexual impurity, forthe degrading of their bodies
with one another.
And it goes on to talk abouthow they exchanged the truth of
God for lie, and they worshipedthose things that had been
(04:18):
created rather than the creator.
I just want you to pay specialattention there In verse 21.
It says for although they knewGod, they neither glorified him
as God nor gave thanks to him.
That's how important givingthanks is.
If we're going to stay in aright relationship with God, we
(04:43):
have to first of all honor himas God.
We have to remember that he hasa place of honor, that he is
our father, but he's also God,that he is our savior, but he's
also the creator of the entireuniverse.
And so, even though we relateto him as a child would relate
(05:04):
to his or her father, we alsohave to remember he is God
Almighty and give him thatreverence that's due his name.
And not only give him thatreverence, but to thank him.
See, when we thank people, whenwe thank God, we remember that
the good things in our life arebecause of Him.
(05:26):
And then we remember thatthere's good things in our lives
, because that's really easy toforget.
You know, if we're alwaysconcentrating on what's not
right, on what we don't have, onwhat we wish was different,
then we do not see the goodthings right before our eyes and
that's human nature.
(05:47):
And so when we make a habit tobe thankful, when we make a
decision to see the things thatwe've been blessed with and to
acknowledge them as gifts fromGod, then it changes our
perspective.
Then it changes our perspective, we see the world through a
(06:07):
different set of eyes.
You know, negativity is aspiral and once you get on it
it's hard to get off and it justtakes you on a ride.
You don't want to go on and thebest solution is not to start.
The best solution is not to geton that road because it's hard
(06:37):
to get off.
But when we can purposelydecide to be thankful, to
recognize the good things thatGod has blessed us with, it
changes so many things.
It may not immediately changeour circumstances, but it will
definitely change ourperspective in our circumstances
.
Many, many years ago, when mychildren were young and I had
just come home to be with them,I just quit my position and I
was a stay-at-home mom and I waswith my children all day, every
(06:57):
day, the way that I wanted it.
I had prayed to be able to dothat and God answered that
prayer.
And then, like so many things,it's never the way you think
it's going to be.
In my mind I had all thesewonderful things we're going to
do and when I come home, realityhit me like a brick.
(07:18):
And I remember having afive-year-old, a four-year-old
and one that was almost two, andthe five and four were so busy
that I could barely keep up withthem.
And then I'm trying to takecare of the little one and his
needs and I know you mamas withsix or seven are probably like,
(07:41):
oh, that's nothing, girl.
Well, it was a lot for me andyou know my personality.
I wanted everything in controland I felt completely out of
control.
Everything was out of controlis the way it felt.
And you know, I felt like I wasjust surviving.
And there was a particularseason when there was a lot
going on in our church.
(08:03):
We had some issues in ourchurch that we were trying to
work through, trying to dealwith, trying to figure out.
I had some health issues that Iwas struggling with, couldn't
figure out what was going on,but I knew something wasn't
right and it was affecting how.
You know how much energy I hadand I'm not naturally a nurturer
(08:23):
Like that's something that Ihad to learn, you know I had to
pray about.
And so I was home all day withthese children, and there were
days, at the end of the day, myhusband would get home and I
would just walk out the door I'dsay okay, tag, it's your turn.
If I don't get out of here, I'mgoing to bust.
And it was so funny because theLord had to keep reminding me
(08:47):
this is what you prayed for,remember?
You wanted to come home and bea stay-at-home mom.
Well, this is what it's like.
And so reality set in and I hadto remember okay, this is what
I prayed for, this is the answerto my prayer.
But I was depleted, and I feltdepleted of all resources and I
(09:08):
felt stuck and my house feltmore like a prison than it did a
home, and I felt isolated andlike the whole world was
happening and I was forgotten.
And you know, I unloaded on myhusband.
When he come home, I tell himeverything that happened, that
forgotten.
And you know, I unloaded on myhusband.
When he come home, I tell himeverything that happened that
day.
And you know, and I just Iwanted somebody to make me feel
(09:32):
like this is going to be OK,like you haven't made a mistake.
You know you didn't miss God.
I just wanted somebody to tellme that it was going to be OK.
But after doing that constantly,you know, my husband comes in
and I just unload on him becausehe's the first adult that I've
seen that day, you know, thatwore on him and I remember one
particular day where he came inand I was unloading on him about
(09:57):
my day and this happened andthat happened, and and you
wouldn't believe what he did.
And, and I remember he lookedat me and he said Audrey, you
are such a negative person.
And it made me angry, likeangry, like two days angry.
I could not believe that.
(10:18):
He said that to me because Iwas struggling and I was just
looking to him for validationthat I'm not going crazy, that I
can do this, that this isnormal.
But I was wearing him down too,and so I, you know I came back
(10:39):
with no, I am not.
I am not a negative person, I'ma very positive person.
And after, you know, I got overit.
I realized he was right.
I had become a very negativeperson because I felt defeated.
I felt like everything that Idid did not work.
(11:00):
Everything that I did did notwork and I was afraid of people
finding out that I was failingin all these areas.
And, guys, I really wasn'tfailing on these areas, it just
felt like it because I justdidn't feel like I knew what I
was doing.
And so I felt like a failure.
And around that same time I cameacross a story of a missionary,
(11:24):
and I think it was a story Iwas reading to my children
because I tried to read to themevery day, even when they were
young.
And I love missionary storiesbecause, I don't know, I hear
these stories about these menand these women who went to very
hard places, and that's how Ifelt.
They went to very hard placeswhere no one knew they were
(11:47):
there, except for maybe theirfamily, and they did things for
God and they got no glory for it.
And that encouraged me.
And so I was reading this storyabout a young missionary who
had gone with her husband.
She'd gotten married and gonewith her husband on the mission
field and she was writingletters because you know this is
before telephones and she'swriting back and forth to her
(12:10):
parents and telling them justhow awful it was.
It was hot and nobody wasreceiving the message and the
community where they wereministering hadn't really
received them and they wereseeing no fruit and they were
struggling financially.
And it was just, it was.
(12:32):
It wasn't good.
And so every letter that shewas sending back home, she was
complaining about her situation.
And she said one day she got aletter from home which was
always a joy to get somethingback from home and she got this
letter from home and in it was asimple poem from her dad.
And the poem said two menlooked through prison bars.
(12:55):
One saw mud, the other stars,the other stars, and that's all
it said.
But she got the point.
You can have two people in thesame situation, the same jail
cell, if you will, and itdepends on where they're looking
(13:16):
at, what they see.
If you're looking down, you'regoing to see the mud, but if you
can look up, you're going tosee the stars.
And sitting on the couch readingthat to my children, God spoke
to me and he said where are youlooking?
Are you looking down at the mud?
Are you looking at all theproblems?
(13:36):
Are you looking at how you knowthis is just not fair and this
isn't right?
Or are you looking up to meBecause I can show you things
that will change yourperspective.
But you've got to decide thatyou're willing to change
yourself.
But you've got to decide thatyou're willing to let go of the
(14:00):
right to be mad, to be offended,to be hurt.
You've got to decide that I'mgoing to find the positive where
I am.
I'm not going to be a victimwhere I am.
Which leads me to another verse,the verse that I want to share
with you today, which is inProverbs 15.
(14:22):
Proverbs 15, 15 says All thedays of the afflicted are made
evil, but he that is of a merryheart has a continual feast,
regardless of circumstances, andthe Lord has used that to
(14:48):
remind me so many times thatit's how I see myself that
determines how my days are goingto go, how I see myself.
If I see myself as one that isafflicted, one that always gets
the short end of the stick, onethat is the victim, then my days
are going to be wretched,they're going to be hard,
because that's what I'm lookingfor, and we rarely disappoint
ourselves when we're looking forproblems.
You know you will find whatyou're looking for.
(15:10):
If you're looking for Jesus,you will find him, but if you're
looking for problems, if you'relooking for fault, you will
easily find that too, and so allthe days of the afflicted are
made evil.
Are you afflicted?
Do you see yourself as theafflicted person, as the victim?
Because if you do, then you'regoing to always be looking down
(15:33):
at the negative and the problemsand they're going to multiply,
because the more you concentrateon them, the bigger they become
.
But if you decide that you'regoing to be the other person,
the one that is of a merry heart, if you decide that's going to
be me, then you will have acontinuous feast and the
amplified version saysregardless of circumstances.
(15:55):
In other words, mycircumstances don't determine my
attitude, don't determine myjoy, they don't determine if
things are going to go well forme.
They're going to go well for me.
They may not look well rightnow, it may not feel good right
now, but we're not staying here.
We're going to go through thisand we're going to have a feast.
(16:17):
We're going to feast on theword of God.
We're going to enjoy our family, we're going to enjoy this life
that we've been given, and thatis a choice.
See, sometimes we forget thatthat's a choice, that enjoying
our life is a choice.
Guys, I am not saying that badthings don't happen if your
heart is right.
I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that we don'thave to deal with bad days.
(16:40):
I'm not saying that it's wrongto complain.
I'm not saying that it's wrongto complain.
I'm not seeing any of thosethings.
I'm saying that you have totake inventory of your own
attitude and find out whereyou're looking.
Are you looking up?
Are you looking to Jesus?
Are you looking for good thingsto happen?
Are you thankful for the goodthings that have happened, or
are you looking down at the mudand expecting the worst, because
(17:04):
it feels like that's all thatever happens and it is all that
will ever happen, if that'swhere you're looking Now, this
is a hard word.
It sounds like I'm rebuking you.
I'm not.
I'm just reminding you and inreminding you I'm reminding
myself that we're going to gothrough this world.
We're going to go throughthings, but it doesn't mean that
(17:27):
we cannot be joyful.
It doesn't mean that we can'tenjoy this life that we've been
given.
And, you know, I think about mychildren when they were that
young.
And you know, just imaginebeing stuck in a house all day
and the one person that you havethat's there to meet your needs
is angry.
And the one person that you'relooking to, for you know,
(17:52):
attention and love is justmiserable, you know and has a
scowl on her face all day.
That was me.
That was me and I thought,bless their heart, I feel like
I'm in a prison.
I mean, they're really in aprison and I don't want them to
have those kind of memories.
I don't want them to think backand think, man, I wish my mom
(18:13):
would have just gone to work andyou know, I want them to be
glad that I was able to be withthem.
I don't want them to look backand think, man, my mom was never
happy.
You know, she might havesacrificed her job to come home
with me, but we were miserable.
(18:33):
You know what joy is in that,what reward is in that.
I want them to think back andremember a mama that loved being
with them, that enjoyed beingwith them.
No, I'm not perfect.
No, I got it wrong a lot, but Iwant them to remember that I
enjoyed them, that we enjoyedlife together and that we don't
have to let the bad days keep usfrom enjoying our life.
(18:55):
We don't have to be looking forthe bad.
We can look for the good anddeal with the bad when it comes,
we have to decide that we aregoing to make sure that the
positive things in our lifeoutnumber the negative things
and that the good thingsoutweigh the bad things.
We're going to get a mixture ofboth, but we're going to be
(19:17):
thankful for the good and seethem multiply.
For many years I've kept agratitude journal.
I read Ann Voskamp's book yearsago and it did something in my
heart and I saw the importanceof jotting down the things
you're thankful for.
And see, I was the kind ofperson like, well, why would I
(19:37):
do that?
I'll just say, hey, lord, thankyou.
But there's something aboutwriting it down, there's
something about getting on paper, there's something about
catching it.
It's kind of like catching abird that's flying over your
head.
You know, I'm not just, I'mgoing to capture it and I'm
going to write it down in thisbook so that I don't just
remember right now, but tomorrowI can look back and remember
(19:57):
what I was thankful for todayand next week and the next week,
and it's like it makes it morereal.
It makes those things thatyou're thankful for more real
when you commit them to paperand it reminds you of the
goodness of God.
You know God does things for usevery day, and when we write
them down and we can go back andlook over our life, it's like,
(20:17):
wow, god has been faithful andthat helps us in seasons when we
need him to do something for us.
Today, you know, I can go backand look and say when I was
struggling here, he answeredthat prayer, when we didn't know
how we were going to pay thisbill, and God made a way.
You know, that gives me faithfor tomorrow's bill.
(20:39):
Those things are important, andso we have to commit ourselves
to being thankful, toremembering the goodness of God,
to remembering to worship himas God, and to decide that we're
not going to be the afflicted.
We're going to be those of athankful heart, those of a
(21:00):
cheerful heart, and we're goingto live in a continuous feast
because we're going to recognizethe good things that God does
for us every day.
I want to be that kind of personthat recognizes hey, I'm so
blessed.
You can be so blessed and noteven recognize it.
You can be completely blessedand be miserable because you
(21:22):
think that somehow other peoplehave it better than you.
Maybe that's why I like thosemissionary stories, because I
read their life and I read abouthow faithful they were and how
dedicated they were and how theypersevered and how they
struggled.
And they did this without thesupport systems that I have,
without the things I have,without the money that I have,
(21:45):
without the electricity, and I'mlike Lord, if they could be
faithful there, surely you knowI can be thankful and faithful
here and I hope that this hasencouraged you today.
I hope that it has spoken toyou and I hope that you have a
great week.
Remember keep your eyes onJesus.
(22:07):
He loves you.
He's got good things in store.
Bye-bye.
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