June 27, 2024 • 38 mins
Feeling stuck in your leadership role? Join us on Grace to Lead as we welcome the incredible Pat Layton, who shares her wisdom on navigating those moments of stagnation. Learn how to recognize when you’re stuck and the importance of pausing for clarity. Pat’s practical steps and personal stories provide actionable advice to help you move forward with confidence and purpose. This episode is packed with insights into overcoming professional, spiritual, and personal roadblocks.
Discover the profound role of patience and reflection during times of transition with Pat, as she underscores the need to stop and listen for divine guidance. We delve into the power of gratitude, especially during challenges, and how it can transform your faith journey. Pat's current projects, including the "Imagine Me Set Free" Bible study, offer resources for women leaders. Tune in for a dose of encouragement and practical tips that will inspire you to lead with a heart full of gratitude and grace.
Resources mentioned during the show:
- Connect with Pat!
- website: patlayton.net
- IG: Pat Layton
- Facebook: PatLayton
- Imagine Me Set Free Interactive Bible Study
- Rest Quest
Please subscribe to our mailing list to stay connected and get updates! Thanks for listening to the Graced to Lead Podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:06):
Welcome to the Grace to Lead podcast.
I'm Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
If you are a Christian womanwho leads at work or in your own
business, you are in the rightplace here.
You'll find practical adviceand encouragement as you lead
through real conversations thatwill challenge and inspire you.
So join me on this journey tobecoming better leaders God's
(00:27):
way.
Are you ready?
Let the journey begin.
Welcome to the Grace to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston, your host,and I am so excited today to
have our guest on Listen.
If you are a person who isdoing a lot of things, or maybe
you even feel overwhelmed andyou need a moment to just pause,
(00:50):
you feel stuck, you don't knowwhat's going on, you are in the
right place today because ourguest is an expert on getting
unstuck on permission to pause,and so today I'd like to welcome
our guest, pat Layton.
Let me tell you about her firstbefore you hear her voice.
(01:10):
Pat is a passionate andinspiring leader who, during her
25 years in full-time ministry,has led the founding of a
variety of nonprofit ministries,including one of the nation's
largest pregnancy resourcecenters, a Christian adoption
agency and a national abstinenceeducation program.
(01:33):
She's currently serving as abusy speaker, author and life
coach.
She has published six books,y'all.
Her three-part post-abortionrecovery Bible study,
surrendering the Secret, waspublished by Lifeway in 2009.
Listen, that is an amazing book.
I have it, and it was updatedin 2019.
(01:55):
She's also published severalBible study gift book series,
including Born to Bloom.
You Are no Ordinary Flower, andone of my favorite books of
hers y'all is Life Unstuck,peace with the Past, purpose in
the Present and Passion in theFuture.
So listen, grab your notebooks,your digital note-taking
(02:17):
devices.
If you are in the car, makesure that you are listening
while driving, but make surethat you're listening and paying
attention, because Pat is goingto share her wisdom with us
today.
So why don't you virtually giveus a hand clap for Pat Layton?
Welcome to the show, pat.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
You are so sweet and thank you for that precious
introduction.
It's such an honor to be here.
It's been a journey for us tomake it happen and we are here,
so I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I'm excited too, so we are going to jump right in.
I know that many of ourlisteners have been in a place
where they may have feltoverwhelmed or stuck in a place
they just couldn't.
You just feel like you can'tmove.
Sometimes, pat, especially forleaders, it's easy to lead the
things, but sometimes it's hardto lead ourselves, if that makes
(03:11):
sense.
And so can we share for amoment first what we mean by
being stuck.
What does it mean to be stuck?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Well, it comes in so many different ways.
Or it has in my life stuck.
Well, it comes in so manydifferent ways, or it has.
In my life I have beenspiritually stuck where I have
felt like I couldn't hear fromGod.
I had no clue if what I wasdoing was right, if he was
(03:41):
leading me into somethingdifferent.
I have been professionallystuck where I have been in
situations in my businesses, inmy ministries, that have seemed
to be going nowhere, thatnothing I do is working or that
I'm just exhausting myself withall of my attempts.
So, and then I've been stuck inmy family.
So there's so many places wherewe can get stuck, which, in my
(04:05):
description, is just essentiallybogged down and unable to move
forward in a positive way.
So you know, like I use theexample in my book of my husband
getting stuck on rocks when wewere whitewater rafting, that's
how it feels to me.
It's like you are in a rapid ofone place in your life or
another and you are trappedbetween rocks.
(04:28):
Then you're jiggling and tryingto figure out everything you
can to get out of that and moveon.
So it's any feeling that womenhave, where they're just not
making progress and cannot seemto find their way out of
whatever situation they're in.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
I think that is a great example, and I know most
recently I felt stuck, pat, inmaking a decision.
There was a decision I neededto make.
It was pretty important.
My husband and I were kind ofpraying and listening and we
just felt like there were somany parts to making this
(05:10):
decision that we just felt like,oh, and so we ended up doing
nothing, and so I think that'swhy I'm excited about this.
And so you talked about beingstuck in many areas and some of
those reasons that you gave ofhow we could be stuck I think is
really important.
But can we talk about why thisis important for women who lead,
(05:31):
like, why does it even matterthat we talk about this feeling
of being stuck for women wholead?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Well, you know, I have been in leadership in one
variety or another for 30 years.
As you mentioned, my earliestday I used to have my own
insurance business.
So I was in a secular businesswith employees and staff and it
was my own business.
And then I went into full-timeministry and have been in
full-time ministry for the last30 years.
(05:58):
I think it's inevitable for usto find places where we feel
stuck.
It's inevitable, it's part ofour learning process, it's part
of our experiencing the worlds,of the realities of business or
ministry.
So it's just so important forwomen to pause.
(06:18):
You know, that's my word.
I mean, I have my own podcast,it's called Fish, and I just did
a five part series on findingclarity.
So you're talking about you andyour husband were trying to
make a decision and I that wasactually born out of my own
being stuck and having lack ofclarity as last year ended and
(06:43):
the new started.
So I set on a journey with God,looking for actual steps, clear
steps to clarity.
And so you know, I think thatit's important for us, as women,
to evaluate on a regular basis,you know, to take inventory of
(07:03):
our hearts, of our relationships, of our feelings of success or
failure or stuck or whatever inour business endeavors.
So I just think it's importantfor the health of women, the
overall health of women.
One of my favorite phrases isyou cannot give out what you do
not have.
(07:24):
So if we do not have that pieceof knowing, we're headed in the
right direction.
If we do not have the assuranceof what God's doing in our
lives and the faith that he'sworking, how can we give it out
to others?
And that's our main callingright To share gospel, to share
(07:45):
what God's doing in our livesand the word of our testimony.
So that's why I think it'simportant, I think that it's
inevitable to find yourselfthere and it's important to
figure out where you are andwhat you need.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I think that's a great, a great way to sum it up.
I think, as leaders a lot, wefocus on the needs of others and
not so much ourselves asleaders and as women?
Yes, absolutely, absolutely.
And I love your phrase ofpausing.
I mean, I've taken thatpermission and if you haven't,
(08:18):
for our listeners, if youhaven't listened to Pat's
podcast Permission to Pause, Ihighly recommend it.
It's great content and itreally is nice to take practical
steps in pausing and thinkingthrough and getting clarity.
So before we start talkingabout the practicality of it, or
how do we move from this placeof stuck to unstuck, I would
(08:42):
like for you to, if you'recomfortable, share a time
personally where you have beenin a place where you felt stuck,
and if you could share that andalso how you overcame that
place, I think that would behelpful for our listeners.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, in my ministry and in my business life mean
I've always been the leader.
I founded the pregnancy centerin tampa and the women's crisis
center.
So I god has put me in the leadposition many times where I'm
responsible for other people,where I'm bringing people on or
letting people go.
So I think that one of the mostrecent and probably the biggest
(09:26):
stuck place that I got, whicheventually led to the book Life
Unstuck, was a transition fromrunning a nonprofit to stepping
out on my own and speaking andwriting.
In that transition I was soused to having a team and having
you know like I'm a firmbeliever in filling the
positions that you're theweakest in.
(09:47):
So you know I believe infinding that person where my
strengths are weak and I needhelp to finding those people to
help employees.
When I left that scenario intolaunching my book Life Unstuck
as a single author, as someoneyou know trying to get into
(10:10):
speaking and writing, and I didnot have a clue what I was doing
.
So I lived out that book offinding my way to getting
unstuck as I was writing it.
I was living it out, I waswriting and I've often found as
a leader and maybe you canrelate to this, melinda, that
when what I'm struggling withthe people that I'm leading are
(10:33):
struggling with what I see goingon in my life which is what led
to my Clarity series at thebeginning of this year that I
came to the end of last yearfeeling like I had my hands on
five or six things and I reallymy goal for the year was less is
more in 2024.
My goal for this year, afterfive years of running on my own
(10:57):
path, was to figure out, tonarrow it down, to have less
things that I'm focused on anddoing a better job with fewer
things.
I am not a big social mediachaser.
I do care if I have 50 millionfollowers.
I'd rather have 50 followersthan I'm actually serving and
(11:21):
that's not the norm.
So it was a real struggle in mylife to go into the world of
independent living and you know,running my own ministry and
being my own, I had to learnwhat that looked like from the
expectations of platform are thebig buzzword.
It's what it's all aboutbuilding your platform and that
(11:51):
was so.
You know it was such a crisisof beliefs for me.
So I think that started gettingstuck, you know, with the
Getting Unstuck book of gettingunstuck from living one life of
ministry, one world, andstepping into a whole new world.
So I would say to your leaders,because I've been a leader for
a long time, speaking to someonewho is trying to decide is this
(12:15):
still right for me?
Is this still my path?
Is this what I love?
Is this exciting me?
Is my passion still here?
Is this exciting me?
Is my passion still here?
And really evaluating where amI going next and how do I get
there?
So, using that rock example onthe rapids, you know, part of
(12:36):
getting unstuck is is reallytaking the time to evaluate your
circumstances, to figure outwhat's the best escape route,
and not only the best, but theone that god's calling me to.
So that was where, when I gotthis recent time, was a
transition of ministry, atransition of my life, work, a
(13:00):
transition of my no team to youknow, being like I'd have
meetings with myself, you know,and I'm used to having meetings
with teams of people that aregiving me feedback or giving me
thoughts.
So that was a big stuck place inmy life and as I was writing
the book and applying thoseprecepts from Psalm 139, that's
(13:24):
what the book is based on the 24verses of Psalm 139.
And really living those out,listening to what God was saying
about how he created me, whatmy personality was, what my
gifts were.
And this changed, right,belinda, from when, maybe when
we start in our work and ourministry, our gifts change and
our passions change and ourfocus changes.
(13:47):
We can get burned out from onearea but take those skills that
we've learned into a new area.
So that was where I was stuck.
Was that transition of life?
Then we moved here.
You might remember from when wewere at Rest Quest, but we
moved from our lifelong home ofTampa, florida to.
Atlanta and we moved to thislittle, beautiful little
(14:09):
Hallmark community.
But I became very stuck againbecause I had no friends, no
community, no home church.
So I found myself stuck then ina very personal way, not a
professional way, but in apersonal transition of friends,
family, loneliness, you know,wondering if we'd heard from God
(14:31):
at all, because everythingseemed to blow up.
So that would be my latest twoexamples.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, thank you for sharing that, pat, and I have so
many thoughts God's brought tomy head to ask I want to talk
about.
So, first, thanks for being sotransparent in sharing.
But you talked about somethingthat I think from just my
network of colleagues, peopleare experiencing more and more
(15:00):
and I don't know if it's justthe state of the world where we
are spiritually what's happeningin private sector markets.
But that word transition reallyhit me because I think if I
were to think of my bestgirlfriends the five best
girlfriends I have, the fivepeople closest to me that don't
(15:20):
live in my household I would saythat at least four of them are
right now going through somesort of transition, whether they
are transitioning in life.
I have one friend that's goingthrough a divorce right now, so
that's a transition.
I have another friend who istrying to figure out what to do
with her business.
(15:41):
She's been successful at it,but she's questioning whether
this is even the business sheshould be in.
I have a corporate personthat's.
I mean, it's like anotherfriend kind of in this similar,
it's just this place oftransition, like another friend
kind of in this similar, it'sjust this place of transition.
And I think that what we hearoften is, when you're in
(16:05):
transition, you're supposed to,you know, push your way through
it.
You do all these things to helpthe transition move, but what I
heard you say, pat, is theactual is actually the opposite.
Right that you don't is theactual is actually the opposite
right that you don't you pause.
So I'd love for you to sharemore about that and that this
transition and being stuck.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Well, I think that that is so true what you're
saying, because I mean, when Ithink of my ministry life, I
transitioned in 1988, I think itwas from my insurance business
to me in Tampa.
I spent 25 years in thatministry so it wasn't like I was
(16:49):
living through a lot oftransition.
I was living through growth andchange and learning experiences
, but I was raising my children.
I was, you know, involved inthe same church all those years,
(17:09):
so that I agree that transitionis kind of a new buzzword that
I'm living and I see many womenliving.
It is like it is definitely,within the last five years, a
bigger word.
So I definitely see that Iagree with it.
I, when one of the things we'retalking about you and your
husband being kind of stuck in adecision, one of the things
(17:30):
I've learned and that Iexperience and hang on to is
stopping in the middle ofindecision, because I feel like
there are two things I try tokind of follow in that One is
pause and wait on God.
I am what was identified earlyin my ministry years as a quick
(17:52):
start.
I am like Peter I have an ideaand I'm going to go for it.
I tend to ram my head againstwalls because I'm moving ahead
of God, because I feel like ifthis is a God idea, it's time to
do it.
I've so learned, especially inthe last few years, that that is
(18:13):
not true and it could have todo a lot with our culture and
the way things have changed inour world.
It may have some things to dowith that, but I think pausing
is and just slowing down, justtaking the time to listen to
what God is speaking and reallyhearing God, is a very big
(18:33):
weakness in our faith, in ourfaith world, in my opinion.
I mean it's just reallylistening and quieting ourselves
long enough to really hear whatGod is speaking to us, and so
pausing in our transition, Ithink is just so important,
taking time to evaluate what'sgoing on around us and just
(18:57):
taking all the things intoaccount.
So I think that's a big thingis just taking time enough to
just quiet ourselves to listento what he says and trust and
believe that we will hear himand then, if not, getting the
coaching and the input fromoutside.
The coaching and the input fromoutside, coaching and mentoring
(19:21):
, I think is so big in this dayand age in terms of our
spiritual listening right, butjust really having the time to
have somebody who sits in God'spresence with you and listens
with you is also a real newthing in my life and something I
really see powerful.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
It's also a real new thing in my life and something I
really see powerful.
So you've shared that.
Stopping in the middle of adecision is a great strategy
when you're in transition, whenyou're feeling stuck.
You also talked about having acoach or a mentor to help.
Because we are so busy,Sometimes it's difficult to hear
from God when you're making adecision.
(19:58):
Are there other tips you wouldgive?
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Pat, I say go back to the last place where you heard
from God.
I was just thinking of thatthis weekend of just stepping
back when you feel like you'reyou know you're confused or
ruffled or I think you knowgoing back and thinking back
where you feel like you're youknow you're confused or ruffled,
or I think you know going backand thinking back where you felt
God led you Like.
For an example for me would bewhen we moved here to Atlanta.
(20:25):
We sold our house, we gave upour lifetime of residency and
friendships and everything inTampa, but we clearly heard God
tell us to do it.
We knew without question myhusband and I both that God had
directed our path and so wenever wondered.
Now we did wonder wheneverything exploded.
(20:48):
Our son got transferred back toTampa, so the very place we
left our family was moved backto.
Our daughter went through aserious heartbreak and her
situation here changed.
But we did feel that God was inour mood.
We never doubted that, but wedid wonder what the heck he was
(21:09):
doing.
So I think there are times whenGod gives us instruction, like
we just watched a series onMoses.
If you haven't seen it, it's onNetflix and it's so good and
it's just was such an example ofsomeone who was clearly
following God at the best of hishuman ability following God but
(21:31):
he ended up wandering with thepeople for 40 years and did not
get to see the promised land.
That was a good example to meof what, when we are obeying God
and following God, but we'renot seeing it with our eyes or
we're not experiencing what wethink to experience.
So I think going back andremembering what God has said,
(21:57):
how he's directed you, and justrebuilding our faith and trust
is a great thing to do intransition.
Going back to the last placeyou heard from him, sometimes,
like we said, using a coach or amentor to help us think that
out, to listen to what we'rehearing and I think that's
another good step is going backto the last place so that you
(22:20):
can hook onto that and rememberthat God is in this and this is
what he told you to do and thisis what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Does that make sense?
That is a great tip.
I've never thought about that.
I've never thought to goingback to the place when I've been
in a position where I feltstuck going back to the place,
the last place that I heard Godspeak.
That's.
That's great advice.
That's great advice.
And you know one of thoseplaces for me Now I'm going to
(22:52):
segue a bit One of those placesfor me that I felt like I
clearly heard God speak to mewas when I attended your rest
quest.
And so for our listeners, patLayton hosts a series of rest
quests, their weekend kind ofgetaways, where it's designed
(23:14):
really for you to hear from God.
So I'd like for you first toshare what a rest quest is, pat,
because I remember when I wentI didn't understand what it was.
So if you can explain what arest quest is and why you chose
(23:35):
to host those first, then I'llask my next question.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yes.
Well, restquest is as Imentioned to you earlier, that I
have discovered that the way Icoach and lead women is what I'm
going through and what I'mexperiencing.
There's some other women outthere somewhere who are going
through the same thing, seeingthere's some other women out
there somewhere who are goingthrough the same thing.
So Rest Quest was designedbecause I had a desire for a
(24:05):
conference and someone leading agetaway that was not focused on
downloading information.
So, as a professional, as abusiness woman, I have been to
countless conferences where Ileave with a spiral notebook
that's full of ideas and thingsto do next.
And then I've gone to spiritualretreats and conferences where
the same thing happens in adifferent way.
(24:25):
I leave there downloaded, withgreat teaching and great
information from God's Word.
But it's always been achallenge to me to actually
figure out how to apply thosethings or how they look in my
life.
If I go to a conference and Ileave with pages of notes, but I
come home with those notes, youknow, actually living that out
(24:49):
and applying them to my life,it's always a stuck place for me
.
So RestQuest was designed tobring a small group of women
it's called a unique boutiqueretreat, a small group of women
together to seek God together.
So there's no great teacher.
As you know, I have led with DrSondra Dalton-Smith, who is a
great teacher, and many otherleaders.
(25:11):
But we do not intend atRestQuest to do a bunch of
download teaching.
We do not intend at RestQuestto do a bunch of download
teaching.
Our goal is to act as guides tohelp women find a place of quiet
and pause and, as you know, itis like.
The one that we lead in StSimon's Island is waterfront
balcony rooms.
(25:32):
We have an afternoon of silence.
We use a process called LectioDivina.
Lectio Divina is meditating andsettling in on a specific place
of scripture so that you gethear from God in that place of
scripture.
So that's the main differencein RestQuest.
Restquest is all about yourhearing from God, not people.
(25:56):
We are there to lead the event,to lead you into the presence
of God.
We're trying to set a path forwomen to hear from God, to get
into their own hearts and havetime to pause in God's presence,
in the presence of somegirlfriends, but it's a very
(26:17):
private, intimate time with theLord.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, and I thoroughly enjoyed my experience
and for our listeners listen, Iam a list girl, I want the
agenda, I want a diagram, I wantall the things so that I could
go to every session and glean.
And so this was acounterintuitive experience for
me, especially the afternoon ofsilence.
(26:43):
I mean, you don't realize howmuch you talk and how much you
don't listen during the dayuntil you're silent.
And that moment of thatparticular day was when God laid
out even the idea of thispodcast to me and some clarity
around just some things even inmy work life that I had been
(27:06):
thinking about, and so I wouldsay that probably the last tip
to share is the importance ofintentionally setting that time
of rest to listen.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
And the hard thing, it's very difficult thing to do
on our own.
I mean, I have learned over theyears about finding rest, about
finding pause, and I can layout on my hammock with my Bible
or my worship music.
But I think the difference inRest Quest that I needed for
myself and prayerfully youneeded, is just someone to lead
you into that place of rest andto kind of hold you accountable
(27:43):
in it, so that you're not havingto figure it out all out
yourself.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yes, absolutely Absolutely, and it reminds me of
a time where I remember I askedmy husband I was like I need to
get away from the house and Ijust need to have some time away
and I think he got me like ahotel room to get away for the
weekend and I slept, but I don'tthink I left with any clarity
(28:10):
which I thought, and so I dothink it's important to have
that those mentors and coacheshelping to lead, and that's what
Rest Quest provided.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Well, sometimes it is like it sounds like, sometimes
I think it is just physical rest, and we tell the women at Rest
Quest.
We use the story of Elijah andsecond Kings, about how he ended
up under the broom tree intotal exhaustion, and the angels
ministered to Elijah inmultiple ways.
There was the physical restthat was needed, there was the
(28:43):
emotional encouragement that wasneeded.
There was the emotionalencouragement that was needed.
There was spiritual direction.
All the things that we use atRest Quest are represented in
that story.
So another thing I'm doing,though, with the quest is that I
am a firm believer in our nextsteps and our purpose being
found in our past, and I'm abeliever in story.
(29:06):
So one of the things I'm goingto be doing this fall is called
a story quest, or it'll besomething along that line I
haven't settled all the detailswhere women will come and
consider their story, considerwhere God has led them in their
life, where they haveencountered him, where they have
felt stuck and got unstuck.
So it'll be a quest to helpwomen look back into their story
(29:31):
, to see what God's doing today.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Oh, that's so good.
Oh, I'm excited, I can't wait,I can't wait.
So I think we've talked aboutsome practical ways of moving
from being, how to get unstuck,and that now we've talked about
some practical ways of movingfrom things how to get unstuck
and now we've talked about thepower of rest, and you said you
know, stopping in the middle ofyour decision-making process to
(29:55):
hear from God.
Hearing from God is important.
We talked about coaching andmentoring, we talked about going
back to the place where youlast heard God, and now we've
kind of talked about the powerof rest.
Are there any final kind ofpractical advice you would give
(30:17):
to the woman right now who isfeeling stuck, whether they're
stuck in transition, whetherthey're stuck in a decision,
whatever those things, maybeeven spiritually.
Whether they're stuck intransition, whether they're
stuck in a decision, whateverthose things, maybe even
spiritually, if they're feelinglike I'm just not hearing from
God, I feel stuck.
Is there any other practicaladvice you would give to women
who find themselves in thatspace?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I would say the next thing I think of is truly is
cultivating a heart of gratitude.
I find in my own life and maybesome of your listeners can
relate that when I get stuck inthe place I'm in life and I
can't figure out the next thingthat God, that often I have
(31:04):
slipped into a place ofdiscontent and I think that one
thing I've learned, or that Ibelieve in my life is that God
will not trust me with moreuntil I'm content with what I
have.
So, in other words, just reallycultivating a heart of
gratitude with where I am, withwhere God is working, how he is
(31:30):
blessing me, all the good thingsthat he's doing within the
situation I'm, in my example,like moving to Atlanta, being in
the beginning of COVID, havingno family all of a sudden but he
had given us a beautiful threeand a half acre tree covered
property in a little hallmarktown and just really trying to
(31:53):
refocus on those things that Ido have so that I feel like I
get into a place where God isable to take me to the next
place or take me to the nextlevel.
So for me that's a big thingand it's something I'm working
on now, working on constantlyjust cultivating a heart of
(32:15):
gratitude for where I am, whatGod's doing in my life, and just
really focusing on that so thatI can be ready for what he
wants to do next.
One of the things I really feellike I've discovered in my life
of leadership is that it is notwhat I say.
It is not.
You know, my message is my life, so it's how I'm living my life
(32:41):
and what God's doing in my life.
Even in the tough times Like Iam watching some of my friends
right now who are walkingthrough cancer diagnosis or loss
of a spouse, and their life ispreaching, you know, their life
itself is ministering andpreaching, just by allowing
(33:01):
people to see how they'rehandling the rough spots and the
spots of indecision, the spotswhere things aren't going the
way we want them to.
So really just cultivate that'dbe.
You know, what I'd say is justcultivating that heart of
gratitude and looking for whereGod's working, looking for what
he's done and a lot of that islike going back to where he last
(33:25):
spoke, but looking at what Godhas done, doing instead of
focusing on the future.
You know, not as worried aboutwhat's going to happen tomorrow
as as are not worrying about thenext right thing as much as
being appreciative of what God'sdoing now, in the here and now.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
God's doing now, in the here and now.
I love that.
I love that cultivatinggratitude it does, it really
does something for for you,mentally, I would say, for folks
who are feeling even as if youknow God's not with you, perhaps
thinking back on all the waysand all the things that have
happened in your life.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
where God showed up is, I think that's oh, that's
such a great place, that's sucha great place for us to to end.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I love it well, it rebuilds our faith to do that.
It reminds us of who God is andhow good he is, and that he's
not going to leave us stuck.
If we surrender our hearts tohim and we're seeking him, he
wants to be found.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yes, listeners, I told you this was going to be a
great conversation and I thinkthat Pat has dropped so much
wisdom, so many wisdom nuggets.
That's what I've been using allseason wisdom nuggets in our
conversation.
So I I think, before we go, pat, I'd love for you to share what
(34:53):
you're working on, that's new,if you'd like, or how people can
can reach you.
How can people stay in touchwith you?
Speaker 2 (35:00):
well, there's my website.
It is patlaytonnetnet, and I'mon all social media.
Social media does not drive me,but I pop into it, so I can be
found on pretty much every areathere.
What I'm working on is my wholetheme of less is more in 2024.
So I've been narrowing down tothe things I really love and I
(35:24):
really feel that God is doing inmy life and with my life.
So the events that I host arebig and I'm working on a few of
those towards the fall.
Also, I'm really big on twoother things.
One is healing the heartbreakof your past, and I think you
mentioned that, belinda, some ofmy things had ministered to you
that way.
But I've just put on my websitea new interactive Bible study
(35:48):
called Imagine Me Set Free, andit is really focusing on helping
women look back at the past ina healthy way that leads them
into the future.
So Imagine Me Set Free issomething I've been spending the
last couple of months gettingonto my website, so I'm just
launching that.
And then, like I said, I have acouple of different Quest
(36:11):
events that I'm working on, soI'd love for the listeners to
join.
You know to visit my website,sign up for my email and I know
you're going to be getting theupdates on upcoming Quest, so
those are the things for thefall that I'm looking at.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Excellent and listeners, I would highly
encourage you to check out PatLayton's website, the resources.
She has an abundance ofresources and many of them have
very little investment, if any.
There's some free resourcesthere as well, and so I highly
suggest it, especially if you'rein this place where you feel
(36:49):
stuck, whether you're goingthrough transition and you're
looking for God to give you someanswers to some decisions, and
so, of course, as always, I'llput all of the information that
Pat shared in the notes section,in the description section of
this podcast episode, so thatyou can have that at your
fingertips.
Pat, thank you so much forjoining.
(37:12):
I really appreciate your timeand your wisdom.
It means so much to me, sothank you so much.
Thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I'm so glad to be here with you and I'm so excited
about your podcast.
I can see the importance of itand I'm excited to watch you
grow.
I'm proud of you for steppingout in faith into an unknown
territory and pressing in to seewhat God wants to do with your
surrender.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Thank you, pat.
Thank you, pat, and for ourlisteners.
Thank you so much for listeningto the Grace to Lead podcast.
I did not take your time forgranted.
Remember to subscribe to thepodcast, to share the podcast
and continue to listen.
And until we join each otheragain next week, have a blessed
(38:01):
week and remember you are gracedto lead.
Bye-bye.
Welcome to the Grace to Lead podcast.
I'm Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
If you are a Christian womanwho leads at work or in your own
business, you are in the rightplace here.
You'll find practical adviceand encouragement as you lead
through real conversations thatwill challenge and inspire you.
So join me on this journey tobecoming better leaders God's
(00:27):
way.
Are you ready?
Let the journey begin.
Welcome to the Grace to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston, your host,and I am so excited today to
have our guest on Listen.
If you are a person who isdoing a lot of things, or maybe
you even feel overwhelmed andyou need a moment to just pause,
(00:50):
you feel stuck, you don't knowwhat's going on, you are in the
right place today because ourguest is an expert on getting
unstuck on permission to pause,and so today I'd like to welcome
our guest, pat Layton.
Let me tell you about her firstbefore you hear her voice.
(01:10):
Pat is a passionate andinspiring leader who, during her
25 years in full-time ministry,has led the founding of a
variety of nonprofit ministries,including one of the nation's
largest pregnancy resourcecenters, a Christian adoption
agency and a national abstinenceeducation program.
(01:33):
She's currently serving as abusy speaker, author and life
coach.
She has published six books,y'all.
Her three-part post-abortionrecovery Bible study,
surrendering the Secret, waspublished by Lifeway in 2009.
Listen, that is an amazing book.
I have it, and it was updatedin 2019.
(01:55):
She's also published severalBible study gift book series,
including Born to Bloom.
You Are no Ordinary Flower, andone of my favorite books of
hers y'all is Life Unstuck,peace with the Past, purpose in
the Present and Passion in theFuture.
So listen, grab your notebooks,your digital note-taking
(02:17):
devices.
If you are in the car, makesure that you are listening
while driving, but make surethat you're listening and paying
attention, because Pat is goingto share her wisdom with us
today.
So why don't you virtually giveus a hand clap for Pat Layton?
Welcome to the show, pat.
Speaker 2 (02:37):
You are so sweet and thank you for that precious
introduction.
It's such an honor to be here.
It's been a journey for us tomake it happen and we are here,
so I'm excited.
Speaker 1 (02:48):
I'm excited too, so we are going to jump right in.
I know that many of ourlisteners have been in a place
where they may have feltoverwhelmed or stuck in a place
they just couldn't.
You just feel like you can'tmove.
Sometimes, pat, especially forleaders, it's easy to lead the
things, but sometimes it's hardto lead ourselves, if that makes
(03:11):
sense.
And so can we share for amoment first what we mean by
being stuck.
What does it mean to be stuck?
Speaker 2 (03:21):
Well, it comes in so many different ways.
Or it has in my life stuck.
Well, it comes in so manydifferent ways, or it has.
In my life I have beenspiritually stuck where I have
felt like I couldn't hear fromGod.
I had no clue if what I wasdoing was right, if he was
(03:41):
leading me into somethingdifferent.
I have been professionallystuck where I have been in
situations in my businesses, inmy ministries, that have seemed
to be going nowhere, thatnothing I do is working or that
I'm just exhausting myself withall of my attempts.
So, and then I've been stuck inmy family.
So there's so many places wherewe can get stuck, which, in my
(04:05):
description, is just essentiallybogged down and unable to move
forward in a positive way.
So you know, like I use theexample in my book of my husband
getting stuck on rocks when wewere whitewater rafting, that's
how it feels to me.
It's like you are in a rapid ofone place in your life or
another and you are trappedbetween rocks.
(04:28):
Then you're jiggling and tryingto figure out everything you
can to get out of that and moveon.
So it's any feeling that womenhave, where they're just not
making progress and cannot seemto find their way out of
whatever situation they're in.
Speaker 1 (04:48):
I think that is a great example, and I know most
recently I felt stuck, pat, inmaking a decision.
There was a decision I neededto make.
It was pretty important.
My husband and I were kind ofpraying and listening and we
just felt like there were somany parts to making this
(05:10):
decision that we just felt like,oh, and so we ended up doing
nothing, and so I think that'swhy I'm excited about this.
And so you talked about beingstuck in many areas and some of
those reasons that you gave ofhow we could be stuck I think is
really important.
But can we talk about why thisis important for women who lead,
(05:31):
like, why does it even matterthat we talk about this feeling
of being stuck for women wholead?
Speaker 2 (05:37):
Well, you know, I have been in leadership in one
variety or another for 30 years.
As you mentioned, my earliestday I used to have my own
insurance business.
So I was in a secular businesswith employees and staff and it
was my own business.
And then I went into full-timeministry and have been in
full-time ministry for the last30 years.
(05:58):
I think it's inevitable for usto find places where we feel
stuck.
It's inevitable, it's part ofour learning process, it's part
of our experiencing the worlds,of the realities of business or
ministry.
So it's just so important forwomen to pause.
(06:18):
You know, that's my word.
I mean, I have my own podcast,it's called Fish, and I just did
a five part series on findingclarity.
So you're talking about you andyour husband were trying to
make a decision and I that wasactually born out of my own
being stuck and having lack ofclarity as last year ended and
(06:43):
the new started.
So I set on a journey with God,looking for actual steps, clear
steps to clarity.
And so you know, I think thatit's important for us, as women,
to evaluate on a regular basis,you know, to take inventory of
(07:03):
our hearts, of our relationships, of our feelings of success or
failure or stuck or whatever inour business endeavors.
So I just think it's importantfor the health of women, the
overall health of women.
One of my favorite phrases isyou cannot give out what you do
not have.
(07:24):
So if we do not have that pieceof knowing, we're headed in the
right direction.
If we do not have the assuranceof what God's doing in our
lives and the faith that he'sworking, how can we give it out
to others?
And that's our main callingright To share gospel, to share
(07:45):
what God's doing in our livesand the word of our testimony.
So that's why I think it'simportant, I think that it's
inevitable to find yourselfthere and it's important to
figure out where you are andwhat you need.
Speaker 1 (07:58):
I think that's a great, a great way to sum it up.
I think, as leaders a lot, wefocus on the needs of others and
not so much ourselves asleaders and as women?
Yes, absolutely, absolutely.
And I love your phrase ofpausing.
I mean, I've taken thatpermission and if you haven't,
(08:18):
for our listeners, if youhaven't listened to Pat's
podcast Permission to Pause, Ihighly recommend it.
It's great content and itreally is nice to take practical
steps in pausing and thinkingthrough and getting clarity.
So before we start talkingabout the practicality of it, or
how do we move from this placeof stuck to unstuck, I would
(08:42):
like for you to, if you'recomfortable, share a time
personally where you have beenin a place where you felt stuck,
and if you could share that andalso how you overcame that
place, I think that would behelpful for our listeners.
Speaker 2 (09:03):
Well, in my ministry and in my business life mean
I've always been the leader.
I founded the pregnancy centerin tampa and the women's crisis
center.
So I god has put me in the leadposition many times where I'm
responsible for other people,where I'm bringing people on or
letting people go.
So I think that one of the mostrecent and probably the biggest
(09:26):
stuck place that I got, whicheventually led to the book Life
Unstuck, was a transition fromrunning a nonprofit to stepping
out on my own and speaking andwriting.
In that transition I was soused to having a team and having
you know like I'm a firmbeliever in filling the
positions that you're theweakest in.
(09:47):
So you know I believe infinding that person where my
strengths are weak and I needhelp to finding those people to
help employees.
When I left that scenario intolaunching my book Life Unstuck
as a single author, as someoneyou know trying to get into
(10:10):
speaking and writing, and I didnot have a clue what I was doing
.
So I lived out that book offinding my way to getting
unstuck as I was writing it.
I was living it out, I waswriting and I've often found as
a leader and maybe you canrelate to this, melinda, that
when what I'm struggling withthe people that I'm leading are
(10:33):
struggling with what I see goingon in my life which is what led
to my Clarity series at thebeginning of this year that I
came to the end of last yearfeeling like I had my hands on
five or six things and I reallymy goal for the year was less is
more in 2024.
My goal for this year, afterfive years of running on my own
(10:57):
path, was to figure out, tonarrow it down, to have less
things that I'm focused on anddoing a better job with fewer
things.
I am not a big social mediachaser.
I do care if I have 50 millionfollowers.
I'd rather have 50 followersthan I'm actually serving and
(11:21):
that's not the norm.
So it was a real struggle in mylife to go into the world of
independent living and you know,running my own ministry and
being my own, I had to learnwhat that looked like from the
expectations of platform are thebig buzzword.
It's what it's all aboutbuilding your platform and that
(11:51):
was so.
You know it was such a crisisof beliefs for me.
So I think that started gettingstuck, you know, with the
Getting Unstuck book of gettingunstuck from living one life of
ministry, one world, andstepping into a whole new world.
So I would say to your leaders,because I've been a leader for
a long time, speaking to someonewho is trying to decide is this
(12:15):
still right for me?
Is this still my path?
Is this what I love?
Is this exciting me?
Is my passion still here?
Is this exciting me?
Is my passion still here?
And really evaluating where amI going next and how do I get
there?
So, using that rock example onthe rapids, you know, part of
(12:36):
getting unstuck is is reallytaking the time to evaluate your
circumstances, to figure outwhat's the best escape route,
and not only the best, but theone that god's calling me to.
So that was where, when I gotthis recent time, was a
transition of ministry, atransition of my life, work, a
(13:00):
transition of my no team to youknow, being like I'd have
meetings with myself, you know,and I'm used to having meetings
with teams of people that aregiving me feedback or giving me
thoughts.
So that was a big stuck place inmy life and as I was writing
the book and applying thoseprecepts from Psalm 139, that's
(13:24):
what the book is based on the 24verses of Psalm 139.
And really living those out,listening to what God was saying
about how he created me, whatmy personality was, what my
gifts were.
And this changed, right,belinda, from when, maybe when
we start in our work and ourministry, our gifts change and
our passions change and ourfocus changes.
(13:47):
We can get burned out from onearea but take those skills that
we've learned into a new area.
So that was where I was stuck.
Was that transition of life?
Then we moved here.
You might remember from when wewere at Rest Quest, but we
moved from our lifelong home ofTampa, florida to.
Atlanta and we moved to thislittle, beautiful little
(14:09):
Hallmark community.
But I became very stuck againbecause I had no friends, no
community, no home church.
So I found myself stuck then ina very personal way, not a
professional way, but in apersonal transition of friends,
family, loneliness, you know,wondering if we'd heard from God
(14:31):
at all, because everythingseemed to blow up.
So that would be my latest twoexamples.
Speaker 1 (14:40):
Yeah, thank you for sharing that, pat, and I have so
many thoughts God's brought tomy head to ask I want to talk
about.
So, first, thanks for being sotransparent in sharing.
But you talked about somethingthat I think from just my
network of colleagues, peopleare experiencing more and more
(15:00):
and I don't know if it's justthe state of the world where we
are spiritually what's happeningin private sector markets.
But that word transition reallyhit me because I think if I
were to think of my bestgirlfriends the five best
girlfriends I have, the fivepeople closest to me that don't
(15:20):
live in my household I would saythat at least four of them are
right now going through somesort of transition, whether they
are transitioning in life.
I have one friend that's goingthrough a divorce right now, so
that's a transition.
I have another friend who istrying to figure out what to do
with her business.
(15:41):
She's been successful at it,but she's questioning whether
this is even the business sheshould be in.
I have a corporate personthat's.
I mean, it's like anotherfriend kind of in this similar,
it's just this place oftransition, like another friend
kind of in this similar, it'sjust this place of transition.
And I think that what we hearoften is, when you're in
(16:05):
transition, you're supposed to,you know, push your way through
it.
You do all these things to helpthe transition move, but what I
heard you say, pat, is theactual is actually the opposite.
Right that you don't is theactual is actually the opposite
right that you don't you pause.
So I'd love for you to sharemore about that and that this
transition and being stuck.
Speaker 2 (16:28):
Well, I think that that is so true what you're
saying, because I mean, when Ithink of my ministry life, I
transitioned in 1988, I think itwas from my insurance business
to me in Tampa.
I spent 25 years in thatministry so it wasn't like I was
(16:49):
living through a lot oftransition.
I was living through growth andchange and learning experiences
, but I was raising my children.
I was, you know, involved inthe same church all those years,
(17:09):
so that I agree that transitionis kind of a new buzzword that
I'm living and I see many womenliving.
It is like it is definitely,within the last five years, a
bigger word.
So I definitely see that Iagree with it.
I, when one of the things we'retalking about you and your
husband being kind of stuck in adecision, one of the things
(17:30):
I've learned and that Iexperience and hang on to is
stopping in the middle ofindecision, because I feel like
there are two things I try tokind of follow in that One is
pause and wait on God.
I am what was identified earlyin my ministry years as a quick
(17:52):
start.
I am like Peter I have an ideaand I'm going to go for it.
I tend to ram my head againstwalls because I'm moving ahead
of God, because I feel like ifthis is a God idea, it's time to
do it.
I've so learned, especially inthe last few years, that that is
(18:13):
not true and it could have todo a lot with our culture and
the way things have changed inour world.
It may have some things to dowith that, but I think pausing
is and just slowing down, justtaking the time to listen to
what God is speaking and reallyhearing God, is a very big
(18:33):
weakness in our faith, in ourfaith world, in my opinion.
I mean it's just reallylistening and quieting ourselves
long enough to really hear whatGod is speaking to us, and so
pausing in our transition, Ithink is just so important,
taking time to evaluate what'sgoing on around us and just
(18:57):
taking all the things intoaccount.
So I think that's a big thingis just taking time enough to
just quiet ourselves to listento what he says and trust and
believe that we will hear himand then, if not, getting the
coaching and the input fromoutside.
The coaching and the input fromoutside, coaching and mentoring
(19:21):
, I think is so big in this dayand age in terms of our
spiritual listening right, butjust really having the time to
have somebody who sits in God'spresence with you and listens
with you is also a real newthing in my life and something I
really see powerful.
Speaker 1 (19:36):
It's also a real new thing in my life and something I
really see powerful.
So you've shared that.
Stopping in the middle of adecision is a great strategy
when you're in transition, whenyou're feeling stuck.
You also talked about having acoach or a mentor to help.
Because we are so busy,Sometimes it's difficult to hear
from God when you're making adecision.
(19:58):
Are there other tips you wouldgive?
Speaker 2 (20:00):
Pat, I say go back to the last place where you heard
from God.
I was just thinking of thatthis weekend of just stepping
back when you feel like you'reyou know you're confused or
ruffled or I think you knowgoing back and thinking back
where you feel like you're youknow you're confused or ruffled,
or I think you know going backand thinking back where you felt
God led you Like.
For an example for me would bewhen we moved here to Atlanta.
(20:25):
We sold our house, we gave upour lifetime of residency and
friendships and everything inTampa, but we clearly heard God
tell us to do it.
We knew without question myhusband and I both that God had
directed our path and so wenever wondered.
Now we did wonder wheneverything exploded.
(20:48):
Our son got transferred back toTampa, so the very place we
left our family was moved backto.
Our daughter went through aserious heartbreak and her
situation here changed.
But we did feel that God was inour mood.
We never doubted that, but wedid wonder what the heck he was
(21:09):
doing.
So I think there are times whenGod gives us instruction, like
we just watched a series onMoses.
If you haven't seen it, it's onNetflix and it's so good and
it's just was such an example ofsomeone who was clearly
following God at the best of hishuman ability following God but
(21:31):
he ended up wandering with thepeople for 40 years and did not
get to see the promised land.
That was a good example to meof what, when we are obeying God
and following God, but we'renot seeing it with our eyes or
we're not experiencing what wethink to experience.
So I think going back andremembering what God has said,
(21:57):
how he's directed you, and justrebuilding our faith and trust
is a great thing to do intransition.
Going back to the last placeyou heard from him, sometimes,
like we said, using a coach or amentor to help us think that
out, to listen to what we'rehearing and I think that's
another good step is going backto the last place so that you
(22:20):
can hook onto that and rememberthat God is in this and this is
what he told you to do and thisis what you're doing.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
Does that make sense?
That is a great tip.
I've never thought about that.
I've never thought to goingback to the place when I've been
in a position where I feltstuck going back to the place,
the last place that I heard Godspeak.
That's.
That's great advice.
That's great advice.
And you know one of thoseplaces for me Now I'm going to
(22:52):
segue a bit One of those placesfor me that I felt like I
clearly heard God speak to mewas when I attended your rest
quest.
And so for our listeners, patLayton hosts a series of rest
quests, their weekend kind ofgetaways, where it's designed
(23:14):
really for you to hear from God.
So I'd like for you first toshare what a rest quest is, pat,
because I remember when I wentI didn't understand what it was.
So if you can explain what arest quest is and why you chose
(23:35):
to host those first, then I'llask my next question.
Speaker 2 (23:41):
Yes.
Well, restquest is as Imentioned to you earlier, that I
have discovered that the way Icoach and lead women is what I'm
going through and what I'mexperiencing.
There's some other women outthere somewhere who are going
through the same thing, seeingthere's some other women out
there somewhere who are goingthrough the same thing.
So Rest Quest was designedbecause I had a desire for a
(24:05):
conference and someone leading agetaway that was not focused on
downloading information.
So, as a professional, as abusiness woman, I have been to
countless conferences where Ileave with a spiral notebook
that's full of ideas and thingsto do next.
And then I've gone to spiritualretreats and conferences where
the same thing happens in adifferent way.
(24:25):
I leave there downloaded, withgreat teaching and great
information from God's Word.
But it's always been achallenge to me to actually
figure out how to apply thosethings or how they look in my
life.
If I go to a conference and Ileave with pages of notes, but I
come home with those notes, youknow, actually living that out
(24:49):
and applying them to my life,it's always a stuck place for me
.
So RestQuest was designed tobring a small group of women
it's called a unique boutiqueretreat, a small group of women
together to seek God together.
So there's no great teacher.
As you know, I have led with DrSondra Dalton-Smith, who is a
great teacher, and many otherleaders.
(25:11):
But we do not intend atRestQuest to do a bunch of
download teaching.
We do not intend at RestQuestto do a bunch of download
teaching.
Our goal is to act as guides tohelp women find a place of quiet
and pause and, as you know, itis like.
The one that we lead in StSimon's Island is waterfront
balcony rooms.
(25:32):
We have an afternoon of silence.
We use a process called LectioDivina.
Lectio Divina is meditating andsettling in on a specific place
of scripture so that you gethear from God in that place of
scripture.
So that's the main differencein RestQuest.
Restquest is all about yourhearing from God, not people.
(25:56):
We are there to lead the event,to lead you into the presence
of God.
We're trying to set a path forwomen to hear from God, to get
into their own hearts and havetime to pause in God's presence,
in the presence of somegirlfriends, but it's a very
(26:17):
private, intimate time with theLord.
Speaker 1 (26:21):
Yeah, and I thoroughly enjoyed my experience
and for our listeners listen, Iam a list girl, I want the
agenda, I want a diagram, I wantall the things so that I could
go to every session and glean.
And so this was acounterintuitive experience for
me, especially the afternoon ofsilence.
(26:43):
I mean, you don't realize howmuch you talk and how much you
don't listen during the dayuntil you're silent.
And that moment of thatparticular day was when God laid
out even the idea of thispodcast to me and some clarity
around just some things even inmy work life that I had been
(27:06):
thinking about, and so I wouldsay that probably the last tip
to share is the importance ofintentionally setting that time
of rest to listen.
Speaker 2 (27:19):
And the hard thing, it's very difficult thing to do
on our own.
I mean, I have learned over theyears about finding rest, about
finding pause, and I can layout on my hammock with my Bible
or my worship music.
But I think the difference inRest Quest that I needed for
myself and prayerfully youneeded, is just someone to lead
you into that place of rest andto kind of hold you accountable
(27:43):
in it, so that you're not havingto figure it out all out
yourself.
Speaker 1 (27:48):
Yes, absolutely Absolutely, and it reminds me of
a time where I remember I askedmy husband I was like I need to
get away from the house and Ijust need to have some time away
and I think he got me like ahotel room to get away for the
weekend and I slept, but I don'tthink I left with any clarity
(28:10):
which I thought, and so I dothink it's important to have
that those mentors and coacheshelping to lead, and that's what
Rest Quest provided.
Speaker 2 (28:18):
Well, sometimes it is like it sounds like, sometimes
I think it is just physical rest, and we tell the women at Rest
Quest.
We use the story of Elijah andsecond Kings, about how he ended
up under the broom tree intotal exhaustion, and the angels
ministered to Elijah inmultiple ways.
There was the physical restthat was needed, there was the
(28:43):
emotional encouragement that wasneeded.
There was the emotionalencouragement that was needed.
There was spiritual direction.
All the things that we use atRest Quest are represented in
that story.
So another thing I'm doing,though, with the quest is that I
am a firm believer in our nextsteps and our purpose being
found in our past, and I'm abeliever in story.
(29:06):
So one of the things I'm goingto be doing this fall is called
a story quest, or it'll besomething along that line I
haven't settled all the detailswhere women will come and
consider their story, considerwhere God has led them in their
life, where they haveencountered him, where they have
felt stuck and got unstuck.
So it'll be a quest to helpwomen look back into their story
(29:31):
, to see what God's doing today.
Speaker 1 (29:34):
Oh, that's so good.
Oh, I'm excited, I can't wait,I can't wait.
So I think we've talked aboutsome practical ways of moving
from being, how to get unstuck,and that now we've talked about
some practical ways of movingfrom things how to get unstuck
and now we've talked about thepower of rest, and you said you
know, stopping in the middle ofyour decision-making process to
(29:55):
hear from God.
Hearing from God is important.
We talked about coaching andmentoring, we talked about going
back to the place where youlast heard God, and now we've
kind of talked about the powerof rest.
Are there any final kind ofpractical advice you would give
(30:17):
to the woman right now who isfeeling stuck, whether they're
stuck in transition, whetherthey're stuck in a decision,
whatever those things, maybeeven spiritually.
Whether they're stuck intransition, whether they're
stuck in a decision, whateverthose things, maybe even
spiritually, if they're feelinglike I'm just not hearing from
God, I feel stuck.
Is there any other practicaladvice you would give to women
who find themselves in thatspace?
Speaker 2 (30:41):
I would say the next thing I think of is truly is
cultivating a heart of gratitude.
I find in my own life and maybesome of your listeners can
relate that when I get stuck inthe place I'm in life and I
can't figure out the next thingthat God, that often I have
(31:04):
slipped into a place ofdiscontent and I think that one
thing I've learned, or that Ibelieve in my life is that God
will not trust me with moreuntil I'm content with what I
have.
So, in other words, just reallycultivating a heart of
gratitude with where I am, withwhere God is working, how he is
(31:30):
blessing me, all the good thingsthat he's doing within the
situation I'm, in my example,like moving to Atlanta, being in
the beginning of COVID, havingno family all of a sudden but he
had given us a beautiful threeand a half acre tree covered
property in a little hallmarktown and just really trying to
(31:53):
refocus on those things that Ido have so that I feel like I
get into a place where God isable to take me to the next
place or take me to the nextlevel.
So for me that's a big thingand it's something I'm working
on now, working on constantlyjust cultivating a heart of
(32:15):
gratitude for where I am, whatGod's doing in my life, and just
really focusing on that so thatI can be ready for what he
wants to do next.
One of the things I really feellike I've discovered in my life
of leadership is that it is notwhat I say.
It is not.
You know, my message is my life, so it's how I'm living my life
(32:41):
and what God's doing in my life.
Even in the tough times Like Iam watching some of my friends
right now who are walkingthrough cancer diagnosis or loss
of a spouse, and their life ispreaching, you know, their life
itself is ministering andpreaching, just by allowing
(33:01):
people to see how they'rehandling the rough spots and the
spots of indecision, the spotswhere things aren't going the
way we want them to.
So really just cultivate that'dbe.
You know, what I'd say is justcultivating that heart of
gratitude and looking for whereGod's working, looking for what
he's done and a lot of that islike going back to where he last
(33:25):
spoke, but looking at what Godhas done, doing instead of
focusing on the future.
You know, not as worried aboutwhat's going to happen tomorrow
as as are not worrying about thenext right thing as much as
being appreciative of what God'sdoing now, in the here and now.
Speaker 1 (33:47):
God's doing now, in the here and now.
I love that.
I love that cultivatinggratitude it does, it really
does something for for you,mentally, I would say, for folks
who are feeling even as if youknow God's not with you, perhaps
thinking back on all the waysand all the things that have
happened in your life.
Speaker 2 (34:06):
where God showed up is, I think that's oh, that's
such a great place, that's sucha great place for us to to end.
Speaker 1 (34:13):
I love it.
Speaker 2 (34:14):
I love it well, it rebuilds our faith to do that.
It reminds us of who God is andhow good he is, and that he's
not going to leave us stuck.
If we surrender our hearts tohim and we're seeking him, he
wants to be found.
Speaker 1 (34:31):
Yes, listeners, I told you this was going to be a
great conversation and I thinkthat Pat has dropped so much
wisdom, so many wisdom nuggets.
That's what I've been using allseason wisdom nuggets in our
conversation.
So I I think, before we go, pat, I'd love for you to share what
(34:53):
you're working on, that's new,if you'd like, or how people can
can reach you.
How can people stay in touchwith you?
Speaker 2 (35:00):
well, there's my website.
It is patlaytonnetnet, and I'mon all social media.
Social media does not drive me,but I pop into it, so I can be
found on pretty much every areathere.
What I'm working on is my wholetheme of less is more in 2024.
So I've been narrowing down tothe things I really love and I
(35:24):
really feel that God is doing inmy life and with my life.
So the events that I host arebig and I'm working on a few of
those towards the fall.
Also, I'm really big on twoother things.
One is healing the heartbreakof your past, and I think you
mentioned that, belinda, some ofmy things had ministered to you
that way.
But I've just put on my websitea new interactive Bible study
(35:48):
called Imagine Me Set Free, andit is really focusing on helping
women look back at the past ina healthy way that leads them
into the future.
So Imagine Me Set Free issomething I've been spending the
last couple of months gettingonto my website, so I'm just
launching that.
And then, like I said, I have acouple of different Quest
(36:11):
events that I'm working on, soI'd love for the listeners to
join.
You know to visit my website,sign up for my email and I know
you're going to be getting theupdates on upcoming Quest, so
those are the things for thefall that I'm looking at.
Speaker 1 (36:27):
Excellent and listeners, I would highly
encourage you to check out PatLayton's website, the resources.
She has an abundance ofresources and many of them have
very little investment, if any.
There's some free resourcesthere as well, and so I highly
suggest it, especially if you'rein this place where you feel
(36:49):
stuck, whether you're goingthrough transition and you're
looking for God to give you someanswers to some decisions, and
so, of course, as always, I'llput all of the information that
Pat shared in the notes section,in the description section of
this podcast episode, so thatyou can have that at your
fingertips.
Pat, thank you so much forjoining.
(37:12):
I really appreciate your timeand your wisdom.
It means so much to me, sothank you so much.
Thank you for that.
Speaker 2 (37:21):
I'm so glad to be here with you and I'm so excited
about your podcast.
I can see the importance of itand I'm excited to watch you
grow.
I'm proud of you for steppingout in faith into an unknown
territory and pressing in to seewhat God wants to do with your
surrender.
Speaker 1 (37:38):
Thank you, pat.
Thank you, pat, and for ourlisteners.
Thank you so much for listeningto the Grace to Lead podcast.
I did not take your time forgranted.
Remember to subscribe to thepodcast, to share the podcast
and continue to listen.
And until we join each otheragain next week, have a blessed
(38:01):
week and remember you are gracedto lead.
Bye-bye.
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