July 4, 2024 • 42 mins
Listen to our incredible guest, Candice Jones, as she shares her profound insights on leading well in this episode of the Graced to Lead podcast. Candice, a seasoned leader and executive coach, passionately discusses the vital role of mental, physical, and spiritual well-being in leadership. Learn how emotional intelligence, comprising self-awareness, self-regulation, social awareness, and relationship management, can transform your leadership effectiveness.
Join us as we delve into the importance of self-care and the power of taking regular pauses to maintain overall wellness. Candice opens up about her personal journey of coping with loss and the revelation that busyness can hinder effective leadership. Find out how spiritual and wellness disciplines, along with reliable accountability systems, can help you lead from a healthy place. If you are ready to lead well, this episode is for you!
Resources mentioned during the show:
- Connect with Candice!
- Website: Regal Strategies
- IG: Candice Jones
- FB: Candice Jones
- TikTok: Candice Jones
- Join the Uplift LeadHership Community!
Please subscribe to our mailing list to stay connected and get updates! Thanks for listening to the Graced to Lead Podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Belinda Gaston (00:08):
Welcome to the Graced to Lead podcast.
I'm Belinda Gaston, your hostand listen.
If you are a Christian womanwho leads at work, in your own
business or even in ministry,you are in the right place here.
You'll find practical adviceand encouragement as you lead
through real conversations thatwill challenge and inspire you.
So join me on this journey tobecoming better leaders God's
(00:31):
way.
Are you ready?
Let the journey begin.
Welcome to the Graced to Leadpodcast.
I'm Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
I am excited about today'stopic.
I know I say that every time,but I really mean it.
I really mean it, and so todaywe're going to talk about
leading well and what that meansmentally, physically and
(00:55):
spiritually, and our guest ofthe hour is none other than
Candice Jones.
Candice is a passionate leader,affectionately known as the
leader's coach and the faithactivator.
She has a wealth of experiencein leadership, as a minister, a
connections director, anexecutive leadership coach, and
(01:17):
she uses all of this experienceto help leaders grow and to help
organizations grow.
She has 20 years of leadershipexperience, including being a
Christian life coach, anexecutive leadership coach and a
consultant for organizationsand business leaders who desire
to elevate their leadership,improve interconnected
(01:39):
relationships and createenvironments that foster growth
and development and createenvironments that foster growth
and development.
Candice is also an author ofthe Devotional Food for Faith,
which I can attest is a greatbook.
It ignites people to speak life.
Her mantra is speak life orshut up.
I like that.
Candice has earned degrees inhuman resources from Baker
(02:00):
College, a Bachelor of Sciencefrom Liberty University and a
Master's in OrganizationalLeadership from Columbia College
.
She is also currently pursuingher PhD in Organizational
Leadership with a ministry trackfrom Southeastern University.
As the President, founder andCEO of Regal Strategies LLC, she
(02:21):
focuses on leadership,development, connections, growth
and retention strategies.
She also has a community who Ilove, explicitly dedicated to
uplifting women in leadership inmarket and ministry spaces,
called Uplift Leadership.
I am a part of UpliftLeadHership.
It is a place that equips andempowers women worldwide to lead
(02:46):
well.
This faith-based community alsohas a mentoring circle,
development courses and monthlyempowerment sessions and has
grown tremendously, and she alsohas a signature event her
Uplift LeadHership WellnessSummit.
Last year, over 100 leaderscame from 13 different states
(03:06):
for this event and it was awonderful experience.
So listen, you are in greathands with our expert today as
we talk about leading well.
I love for you to welcomeCandice Jones to the Graced to
Lead podcast.
Welcome, candice.
Candice Jones (03:25):
Oh, my goodness, it is such an honor.
I'm so excited to be here andbe able to share with you all
today Such an honor.
Belinda Gaston (03:33):
Thank you.
We're excited to have you andlisten.
As always, we're going to jumpin and start here, and so I want
to start with.
What does it mean for a leaderto lead well?
Candice Jones (03:46):
Wow.
So I think that can be such aloaded question.
There's so many ways I can gowith that, but I really think
that leading well is reallyabout holistic leading, like
leading whole it's about.
There's a quote that I love,and it says health is a state of
body, wellness is a state ofbeing, and it's so.
(04:09):
It's about your total being.
So often, when we're leading, wefocus on different facets right
Of who we are, like ourintellect or our intelligence,
our cultural intelligence or youknow, different parts, but
leading well is really makingsure that all of who we are is
well, nothing lacking, nothingmissing, and I think that that's
(04:33):
one of the best definitions Ican probably give you.
As far as what it means to leadwell, I also think that it
means that you're leadingyourself first, and so you
mentioned this.
I started a mentorship programand we call it lead her first,
and it's exactly what it soundslike it's lead her first, and so
(04:55):
it's leading yourself firstbefore you lead others, and I
think that that is a majorcomponent of leading well.
So often, we want people to dowhat we say, but not what we do,
and so leading well absolutelyis leading by example, and I
think that that's reallyimportant.
Another thing I'll mention asfar as leading well and you've
(05:18):
heard me talk about this severaltimes it's something I'm really
passionate about is making surethat we're leading with a level
of emotional intelligence, andso that's something that has
kind of surfaced over the lastfew years.
We've heard people talk about EQ.
It used to be all about IQ Ifyou were smart and you had the
(05:40):
degrees and you had theknowledge and the skills, you
could get the job.
Now, more and more employersand even ministries and
different industries are lookingfor people who have emotional
intelligence.
And so I think leading well isnot just having skill set and
(06:00):
having intelligence and all ofthose things, but I think it's
really more importantly, it'shaving emotional intelligence,
and we know that we can breakthat down into four different
areas, and I'll just shoot themout there real quick.
That's self-awareness, it isself-regulation, it's social
awareness and it's relationshipmanagement.
(06:22):
And so when we talk aboutleading well and what that looks
like, it looks likeself-awareness, it looks like
self-regulation, it looks likesocial awareness and it looks
like really good relationshipmanagement.
Belinda Gaston (06:38):
Well, candice, you said a lot there and I kind
of want to take a minute tounpack some of this, because
this is really important and Ithink women who lead, whether
they're in corporate spaces orin ministry, are used to.
What we talk about often is thisservant leadership I'm serving
the people that I lead, serve,serve, serve.
(07:00):
And I think the realizationthat, in order for us to lead
well, we have to lead ourselvesfirst, and what wellness means
about being whole, is animportant concept that I don't
think that we focus on enough,and so I thank you for sharing
(07:25):
all of that, as well as theemotional intelligence, and I'll
say I want to explore a littlebit about this leading yourself
first concept before we move on.
And I think if you were to tellme, lead yourself first,
depending on where I am in thestate of my leadership, I could
either take offense.
I am in the state of myleadership.
(07:46):
I can either take offense, likewhat do you mean by that?
Or I could kind of sit andthink well, you know, should I
be looking at some type ofassessment?
So I would love for you toshare a bit about what it means
to lead yourself first.
Candice Jones (08:02):
I think about.
So in the mentorship programthat I have, one of the first
things we do is assessments.
Right, because thatself-awareness component is
really understanding who I am.
What are my individualstrengths and opportunities?
What are those areas?
You know, we know what we'regreat at.
People tell us all the time,but are we assessing and really
(08:25):
digging in to what are my areasof opportunity?
Where do I still need growthand development?
And so I think the jumpingpoint, the leaping pad, if you
will, is is really identifyingwho you are and what those
opportunities are that you have,so that you're able to develop
(08:49):
them.
And so, when we think aboutleading ourselves, how do we
lead other people?
We assess them, we evaluatethem and then what do we do?
We put them on a developmentplan.
So when's the last time you putyourself on a development plan,
right?
When's the last time you putyourself on a development plan
right?
When's the last time you heldyourself accountable to a smart
action plan?
(09:09):
When is the last time you didan annual or quarterly
evaluation on yourself?
And then, to take that a stepfurther, if we think about I
spent many years in the retailindustry and I can remember when
I had to develop.
We called them IDPs individualdevelopment plans for my staff.
I would then take that a stepfurther and make sure that they
(09:32):
had all of the tools that theyneeded in order to be successful
, right, and so we look at thatand think about our individual
self-leadership.
What tools are in your toolbox?
What books do you need to read?
What collaboration, what peopledo you need to be surrounding
yourself with?
(09:52):
What mentors do you need to beconnected to in this season of
your life to be able to developthose areas?
And so it's really no differentin how we lead people.
We're just putting the focus onourselves.
Belinda Gaston (10:09):
I love that.
Thank you so much for sharingthat, and you know, this idea of
the tools and the resourcesseems to be a theme on the last
few episodes.
We're talking about beingintentional with leading and
making ourselves better leaders,and I think the last three
interviews all talked about theimportance of mentoring.
(10:32):
I love how God is putting thisall together, but the importance
of mentoring, of having theresources, of looking at
yourself and what is it that Ineed, and so I think what I
would like for you to share, aswe talk about reflecting on
ourselves for a moment, when wethink about looking at ourselves
(10:53):
and you talked about theseassessments and looking at
understanding who we are andwhat our opportunities are for
growth Can you talk a little bitabout how to begin that process
?
Candice Jones (11:08):
So I think that it really starts with you know,
there was a book that I think itwas entitled the Growth Mindset
and really, really identifyinglike what I'm really big on what
tools are in your toolbox, like, what do you have that you can
go to on a consistent basis thatwill guide you through your
(11:31):
processes?
From this last quarter, mymentees, we did a
decision-making framework, andso it's something that you
probably have never even heardof, right, and so we actually
created framework to makedecisions that would help us to
make ethical, good qualitydecisions in the moment, and so
(11:57):
you may not think that you needframework for that, but what
happens is we end up insituations that we make quick
decisions and we don't gothrough a process because we
haven't created a process, andso there can be tools in your
toolbox that you create, right,and you go back and reach for
(12:19):
those tools to help you, whetherit's making decisions, whether
it is having courageousconversations, right, and so
there's framework for that.
What does that look like?
When you have to have thosetough conversations with peers,
with a spouse, with whoever itis that you're leading?
(12:39):
What does your framework andwhat is your point of reference
that you can refer back to andsay, hey, this is how I'm going
to start this courageousconversation, because I have
this tool and I have thisreference that I'm able to do
that and you're able to ensurethat it's quality every time.
Belinda Gaston (12:59):
Oh, that's so good, that's so good.
And so, as we are building ourtoolbox and we are assessing
ourselves and leading ourselvesfirst, all of these things work
together to help us to lead well.
And I know that often when wehear about people leading well
and we talk about wholeness, thefirst thing that people talk
(13:21):
about is heart, and we did awhole series on heart issues.
We did a whole thing on, youknow, dealing with the matters
of our heart.
But I know, because I attendedthe wellness summit no, here's a
plug, plug, plug for theWellness Summit leaders out here
listening that you know, one ofthe things I don't think enough
about are our minds as leaders,as our minds.
(13:45):
So can you tell us why it'salso important to address our
minds and our soul, in additionto our hearts, in order to lead
well?
Candice Jones (14:00):
Yeah, so I love that you've already talked about
the heart, because I talk a lotabout leaders.
We have to do the hard, hardwork and make sure that our
heart is right as we lead people, and we lead through
conversations and decisions.
But the mind and the soul iswhere it starts, and so part of
(14:22):
that self-regulation so wetalked about self-awareness part
of the self-regulation startsin your mind.
It starts with your thoughtprocess, and so every thought
becomes a behavior and everybehavior can turn into a
stronghold, and so sometimes welook at patterns and habits and
(14:46):
we're like how did we get here?
Well, it started with a thoughtthat we did not, and I love the
scripture that talks about howwe have the ability to take
thoughts captive, right, and sowhen we don't take those
thoughts captive and we allowthem to take root, they become
strongholds in our lives, and sothere's a scripture, also in
(15:09):
Romans, that says be transformedby the renewing of your mind,
and so that lets us know thattransformation starts where it
starts in our mind.
It starts with our thoughts,and every day we have to make a
decision to transform ourthinking, transform our life,
(15:30):
transform our leadership throughour thoughts, and so that is so
important.
I was doing some research lastyear and found out that it is
actually a scientific.
We know it's a biblical fact,we know it's a spiritual
principle, but it's actually ascientific fact that your
emotions precedes thoughts.
(15:52):
So people who have emotionalbreakdowns or emotional stress,
or they're not exhibitingemotional intelligence, that
scientifically starts with thethought, and so, scientifically,
your emotion precedes thoughts,thought precedes behavior.
(16:13):
And so what's the biblicalprinciple there?
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he, and so everything
starts with a thought.
And so, as leaders, I thinksometimes we have to do the
thought work, if you will, ofmaking sure that we are
(16:34):
monitoring, that we are aware ofwhat our thoughts are, because
sometimes, you know, thoughtsare just like second nature,
like they just happen.
And so I think sometimesjournaling you know, if you
journal your thoughts, it'llkind of help you to see the
patterns, like what am I reallythinking about?
And then understanding what isthe fruit of these thoughts.
(16:56):
And so we all know thescripture that talks about think
on these things, those thingsthat are pure and lovely and
kind and have a good report.
The reason you have to think onthose things is because your
thoughts produce fruit Becauseyour thoughts produce fruit.
Your thoughts are producingsomething, and so you have to
make sure that you're monitoringand managing your thought
(17:21):
process well, so that your fruitis what you want it to be.
Belinda Gaston (17:26):
Wow.
I'm just allowing the moment,this pause, for people to digest
that, because I think we takefor granted sometimes how our
thoughts impact how we lead,that well, if I put forth the
(17:50):
action and the behavior, thateverything else will line up and
that's not what I hear yousaying it actually starts with
our emotions and our mind.
Emotions lead to the thoughts,the thoughts lead to our
behavior, and so that is, Ithink, a very important
statement, and I hope leadersthat are listening that you are
(18:11):
reflecting on that.
Where in your leadershipjourney has your emotions
listeners led to thoughts thatled to behavior that influenced
how you led?
Maybe you didn't lead so wellbecause of it?
That's a very good thought anda very good point.
So thank you for sharing that,Candice.
(18:32):
So I'm listening to you talkand taking my own notes here and
thinking clearly, this womanhas never had a time where she
struggled to lead well, andshe's got it all together.
She's got one, two, three,almost four degrees, a whole
(18:53):
business mentoring group.
Clearly she's got this alltogether.
And so I'm going to ask thisquestion and the answer may be
like well, no, I've got ittogether.
That's what I think you'regoing to say, but has there ever
been a time, Candice, where youstruggled to lead well, and if
that was a time, can you sharewith us how you navigated that
(19:16):
space that time?
Candice Jones (19:18):
Or navigating.
So I you know I'm going todefinitely just have a moment of
transparency here, becausethat's how I lead, right?
I'm a very transformational andtransparent leader and I think
it's so important for us to betransparent to a degree.
(19:39):
A lot of times we like to gothrough things and then we want
to tell people how we getthrough, but sometimes,
especially those who are walkingvery close with you, they need
to experience you going through.
They need to see what it isthat you're doing and how you're
navigating through that.
So I would even say, morerecently than I probably should
admit on a podcast, I'vedefinitely struggled to lead
(20:04):
well, but have been able toidentify how I got there, and I
think that's so important.
I talk often about when God,when Adam ate the fruit and God
went looking for him and he saidAdam, where are you?
Elijah did was under a tree.
The prophet Elijah, we know hewas under a tree ready to die,
and the spirit of God came tohim and said why are you here?
(20:26):
And so sometimes God asks usthese questions to help us
identify, asked us thesequestions to help us identify
how did you get here?
How did you get to this placewhere you're not leading
yourself well.
You can't lead others well ifyou're not leading yourself well
.
And so I need you to identifywhat got you to this state so
(20:49):
that you don't repeat.
And so I would say December oflast, the year before last, so
almost a year and a half ago, Ilost my uncle.
My uncle passed away and he waslike a dad to me, and we found
out on a Sunday and on a Monday.
That Monday morning we were ona flight, automatically in what
(21:11):
do you call it?
Damage control, trying tostabilize stuff, trying to plan,
and from that point up untilabout four months ago, I stayed
in that mode.
And so what God began to showme, probably about the end of
last year, around October, wasbusyness was my drug of choice.
(21:31):
Let me just pause there for aminute.
Yeah, I didn't.
I haven't ever, I've never beena drinker or no.
He said busyness is your drugof choice.
And this is what the HolySpirit spoke to me.
He said I can't heal what won'tbe still.
I was like, well, just beat meup, holy Ghost.
(21:53):
He said I can't heal what won'tbe still.
He said that there's refreshingand restoration and realignment
and rejuvenation.
All of that stuff happens in mypresence.
According to scripture, there'srefreshing in the presence of
God.
He said so, but the presence ofGod has to be practiced.
(22:14):
It has to be entertained andengaged.
You've got to sit there for alittle bit and he said, because
you have not set here what hashappened, can I just tell my
story?
I'll just be transparent onthis good old podcast, because I
was not allowing God to healthat.
Then I began to make decisionsfrom a place of grief.
(22:35):
I heard on another a few weeksago someone say what said what
you do in grief is not what youwould do outside of grief.
What you do while you'regrieving is not what you would
do when you're not grieving.
And so what I started noticingis the quality of my decisions
(22:55):
was diminishing.
And because I was busy, thethings that made me a good
leader, like my spiritualdisciplines, like my wellness
disciplines, like the time thatI spent in the presence of God,
like the time that I spent withcovenant relationships my
busyness prevented me from doingall of those things.
(23:19):
That was my wellness plan.
And so, because I neglected mywellness plan, I ended up at a
place about October of last yearwhere it just collapsed and you
know, and I'm so grateful thatI am a coach that has a coach, a
mentor that has a mentor, and Ihave a spiritual covering.
(23:40):
And she looked at me and shesaid oh no, no, you're going to
sit down, you're going to sitdown and you're going to allow
yourself time to heal.
And so many people who walkclose to me right now will tell
you I've been on and off ofsabbatical since October and if
you're in uplift, you know thatI just put up a post that said
(24:02):
it's okay to take a break.
And we're on a break Because wehave to again.
It goes back to I cannot healwhat won't be still.
And so do you know that weconstantly need healing.
So our summit on last year, ourscripture, was Jeremiah 30 and
(24:23):
17.
I want to read that.
It says for I will restore youto health and I will heal you of
your wounds.
Now, when you look at thedefinition of wounds, it's
injury caused by impact cuts,blows or brokenness.
(24:44):
So now I want you to thinkabout yourself, lead her.
We take all day long impactcuts, blows, blows, and we
constantly are walking aroundfragmented.
And so god said I can heal, thatI can do something about that,
(25:05):
but you've got to be willing to,to to step away from your
responsibilities long enough forme to do that and I say this
all the time to leaders, belindaand I really had to own that
and sit with that.
I tell people all the time ifyou're the only person who can
do it, you're not doing it well.
And so what that means is, ifyou can't take a break because
(25:29):
you're the only person who cando it, you're not leading well,
because who are you mentoring?
Who are you pouring into?
Who are you teaching to be ableto do what it is that you do?
That's often why we can't sitdown, and so recently, recently,
(25:51):
I've had to do thatself-evaluation and look at my
leadership and say you know this, belinda?
I say often we don't pour froman empty cup.
What we pour matters, thequality of our pour matters,
right, right.
And so I can keep pouring andpouring and pouring from a
(26:12):
polluted place, from an unhealedplace, from a dry place, and
eventually the people who aredrinking that are going to still
be thirsty.
You can fool them for a minute,right, but at some point
they're not growing, they're notgetting the nutrition, they're
not getting what it is thatgetting the nutrition.
(26:32):
They're not getting what it isthat they need from you because
you don't have it and you cannotgive what you do not have.
I think about the man at thegate I think it was at the gate
called Beautiful.
When they're walking in and theguy and he and Peter looks at
the man who's begging for moneyand he said to him it's silver
and gold I don't have, but whatI do have I will give to you,
(26:55):
and I use this a lot when I'mtalking to leaders.
We don't take that same mentalmodel.
We just want to give everybodyeverything and anything, even if
we don't have it.
How can I give you healing andI'm not walking in healing how
can I get you delivered fromsomething I'm still wrestling
with?
(27:15):
How can I try to develop you inan area of your leadership that
I'm still struggling in?
And so sometimes we got toevaluate what are we pouring?
Is it really quality, or do weneed to go back and sit with,
sit with Jesus for a minute andlet him heal us in those areas
so that what we pour into othersis quality?
Belinda Gaston (27:41):
I am again quiet , intentionally, because you
said a lot Not being able to behealed because we can't be,
still Not being able to pourfrom an empty cup.
Giving, trying to give what wedon't have is all in alignment
with what God has been sharingwith us over the last few
(28:03):
episodes.
Leanne Marquez, who is a lifecoach, and she talked about
busyness in one of our episodesand she was asking the question.
She said busyness is not bad,so it's.
You know we all can get busy,but are you being intentional
with your time?
Are you busy with the thingsthat you should be busy with?
(28:25):
Are you just busy becauseyou're obligated or because you
feel like this is what youshould do, or now you've added
another layer to that Cand, likethis is what you should do, or
now you've added another layerto that.
Candice is, have you not evenequipped someone else to do that
thing that you're doing?
And so I love how this iscoming together and I have to
say I'm surprised.
I do know, because I'm a partof the LeadHERS group, that you
(28:48):
were taking sabbaticals and Idid see the post about that and
was cheering about the time.
You're taking sabbaticals, andI did see the post about that
and was cheering about the timeyou're taking for yourself, but
I didn't know the details, so Iappreciate your transparency.
I think that a lot of ourlisteners can relate.
And again, the theme of pausing, the pause.
Pat Layton talked about thepower of pause.
(29:11):
You talk about the power andthe pause, and Leanne talked
about pausing and being still,and so there is something.
Listeners, if you have beenlistening for the last few
episodes, there is something toreceive from the idea of pausing
.
And so, Candice, we talkedabout why it's important to lead
(29:32):
well.
We talked about beingintentional.
You shared what it looks liketo lead well and even through
your experience that you sharedjust now, about strategies you
put in place, and one of thoseis that you talked about was
this, pausing and being stillCan you share some practical
tips for our leaders to help usall be intentional about leading
(29:55):
well?
Candice Jones (29:57):
Yeah, absolutely Absolutely.
I think it's so important thatwe do walk away with tools right
in our toolbox as to how do wedo this.
So some of the things that I'vecommitted to, even during this
journey of self-evaluation andself-leadership, is have those
spiritual and wellnessdisciplines that are just
non-negotiable.
This is what I'm going to do,and I'm going to do it whether I
(30:18):
feel like it or not, and so forme, that's walking right now,
and so I track it.
I try to share it on socialmedia just for that extra
motivation.
But have spiritual and wellnessdisciplines that are just
non-negotiable, that I'm goingto do it, whether I feel like
doing it or not.
Avoid decision fatigue.
(30:40):
I teach a whole workshop arounddecision fatigue and I won't go
into it too much.
You can research it.
It's something that definitelyhas a lot more research around
it right now, but we have a veryfinite amount of mental energy,
right, and sometimes justpractically we use that energy
on.
Can I say this on this podcastDumb stuff, dumb stuff.
(31:04):
And so I was looking at thisresearch the other day that
talked about women only wear 20%of what's in their closet, but
we'll spend an hour looking at80%.
It makes no sense that's dumbstuff, right.
And so part of avoiding thatdecision fatigue is pre-deciding
things.
I put these braids in my haircause I pre-decided that I was
(31:27):
not going to have to think abouta hairdo all summer.
Pre-deciding outfits we sawwith Barack Obama and, I think,
a few other people, where theywould wear the same outfit.
They have the same shirt andthey own it in 20 different ones
.
If you know me, you know I'vegot 20 pair of black leggings
and 20 denim jackets.
(31:47):
What does that do?
It saves my mental energy forbigger, better decisions, things
that I have to use that energyon.
So pre-decide, pre-decide whatyou're going to eat, what you're
going to wear, anything thatyou can pre-decide, pre-decide,
because your mental energy isfinite.
Okay, create accountability.
So have those people that willpull your coattail and say sit
(32:10):
down.
I know you're performing, Iknow you're gifted.
I know you're gifted, I knowyou're talented, I know you're
called, I know people arewaiting on you, but I'm more
concerned about you.
So have those people that willbe honest with you and tell you
to get somewhere and sit down,take a sabbatical.
(32:30):
Before I willingly took asabbatical, I was put on one, so
now it's just for me it's likeoh, I'm going to take a
sabbatical, I'm going to take abreak, I'm going to pause
because there is power in thepause.
So create the accountabilityand then practice the pause
often.
(32:50):
Pause it is okay, they will beokay, the job will be okay, the
children will be okay, thehusband will be okay.
So, candice, what do I need topause for?
Pause for healing, pause forclarity, pause to regain
strength, pause for peace, pausefor wellness.
(33:13):
And pause when God tells you topause, even when you don't know
why, because he's been beforeyou and he knows so often that
we need to pause before we hitthat next battle, that next
thing that might take us out ifwe don't take the time to get
that refreshing, to get ourstrength up, to get that clarity
(33:37):
of vision and mission.
And so pause and pause often.
Belinda Gaston (33:43):
Those are really good tips.
The spiritual and wellnessdisciplines is something that
I'm practicing right now as well.
So I've always been.
I guess within the last year orso, I've been really good with
my fitness journey just becauseI had to get in shape.
Where I have lacked was my timealone with prayer and
(34:05):
meditation, and so I am quick topray for others and quick to
study.
If I have a teaching assignmentMaybe there's a Bible teaching
assignment or I'm speaking at anevent or something like that
I'm quick to do that.
But doing that just for myselfhas been a struggle, and so I've
(34:25):
really been.
I put the time on my calendar, Ihave alerts on my watch, on my
phone, on my computer, so Idon't miss it.
So I think that's a great tip,and decision fatigue is
something I hadn't thought about, candice, so thank you for
sharing.
I don't know listeners, let meknow.
You know, if you're listeningto this and you make comments,
there is a button for you totext me.
Text me if you have thoughtsabout this.
(34:46):
But the decision fatigue andthen creating accountability I
think that's also reallyimportant.
I think that's a great tip andI would say creating
accountability with people youknow who will hold you
accountable?
Because we all have that onefriend where you say hold me
accountable, girl, and then whenyou call her she's like well,
(35:08):
ok, it's OK, you didn't do it,it's OK.
Just you know, I know yourheart Like she'll cut you.
Candice Jones (35:13):
She, her is not me.
My friends know, like if youtell me something is going on my
calendar, you're getting analert.
We're going to check in aboutit.
So that is so important aboutwho you link up with as it
relates to accountability.
Belinda Gaston (35:33):
Yes, yes, I love it.
I love it.
So I think those are reallygood tips.
So thank you for sharing that.
I'm going to ask for you toshare before we tell people how
to connect with you.
Can you share maybe a finalthought here, as it relates to
leading?
Well, if you had to leave uswith a final thought for our
(35:53):
listeners the one thing you wantthem to take away from this
conversation- what would you sayFirst of all, let me say you
look amazing because you talkedabout your wellness journey and
working out.
Candice Jones (36:04):
You look amazing.
Listen, I would leave as afinal thought that wellness is
your portion and it's yourresponsibility.
It's your portion and it isyour responsibility, it's your
responsibility, and so don'tconceal it, heal it.
(36:28):
Don't conceal it, heal it.
I was getting ready for amonthly Zoom that we do inside
of Uplift, and I shared thisstory.
I was getting ready and the HolySpirit always speaks to me
before I go live, as it relatesto what to pour into the women
and I was doing a little touchup on my makeup and I noticed
here I'm gonna be transparentagain I noticed that the older I
get, I keep getting theselittle chin hairs and I'm like
what is this?
And so I got my little blendbrush out and I started to put
(36:51):
on more makeup because I didn'twant those to be, you know, seen
on the camera.
And so I started blending and Icould still see them.
So I went and put someconcealer and I could still see
them.
And so I didn't have anytweezers because I'm not used to
having these little chin hairs.
So I got some scissors and Iwent to cut these little chin
hairs.
So I got some scissors and Iwent to cutting these little
(37:12):
chin hairs off my chin and theHoly Spirit said look at you.
And I was like what are yousaying, holy Spirit?
And he said some stuff we workso hard to conceal, to blend, we
get that little blend brush.
We, good at it.
Now we get that little blendbrush and that setting spray and
(37:35):
we get rid of all the blemishes.
But it didn't matter how much Iput on, those hairs were still
really long and could be seenright.
And so the Holy Spirit said youcan cut it with those scissors,
but those are hairs that needto be pulled at the root.
Oh, let me tell you, and so sooften, as leaders, we're
(38:00):
covering up things that Godwants to get to the root of so
that we can lead well, and so Iwant to encourage the leaders
that are listening today Stopblending it, stop concealing it,
stop covering it.
There is a book that I justread and I hate not giving
credit to the author, so I'mgoing to try to get it to you,
(38:22):
but I think the book is calledSoul of Desire.
He does amazing work that I'musing for some of my PhD work.
But he says this.
He says are you spending yourlife concealing guilt shame, I'm
just going to say all thethings or are you looking for
(38:42):
the beautiful artifact that Godis trying to create with your
life?
And so don't spend the mentalenergy concealing?
It?
Took a lot for it took a lot ofmakeup that was expensive, like
I'm just wasting makeup, tryingto conceal something when God
wants to heal it and then use it.
(39:04):
How does he use it?
He uses it so that we becomebetter leaders.
We can lead by experience andwe can really tell people how to
heal.
Belinda Gaston (39:16):
Well, that's a perfect way for us to end.
I think we might need to do apart two of this conversation,
because you dropped so many, asI say, wisdom nuggets.
You dropped so many wisdomnuggets, listeners.
I hope that you were able totake some notes.
I know I have spoken to a lotof you who say you listen in the
car so you can't take notes inthe car, but go back and take
(39:39):
notes, candice, thank you somuch, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for your time.
This has been amazing.
I know right now that ourlisteners are trying to figure
out how can they find you, howdo they stay connected, so I
would like to give you anopportunity now to share, or
share, you know, anything thatyou're working on, that you'd
(40:00):
like to share with our listenerswhat's coming up for Candice
Jones, and also how we can canstay in contact with you.
How can, how can they reach you?
Candice Jones (40:10):
How can they reach you?
Yeah, so again, it's been suchan honor.
I have a website,regalstrategiesorg, and so many
of the things that I do you canfind there, because I am living
this leading well.
We postponed our Lead WellSummit and so, again, just an
example of we're not going to bean autopilot Like.
(40:36):
I really wanted to make sure Igave myself time to grieve and
to be whole and restored, and sothat is going to happen, and
you can find that on the website.
When we released a new date, Ihave a book that I'm working on
and it's all about 30 days tolead well.
It's a devotion and a guide to30 minutes of three things you
can do for 30 minutes to leadwell, and so that will be coming
out soon.
You can find me on all thesocial media platforms.
Instagram, candice Jones but,is where our hub is for the
(40:58):
Uplift Leadership community, andso you just look up Uplift
Leadership with Candice Jonesand you can join our community
there.
We do all kinds of things.
We're on break right now, butwe're still doing monthly
empowerment sessions.
We have a mentorship circle.
We do dig deep cohort series.
(41:19):
There's just a plethora ofthings in there to kind of meet
you where you are.
I always say everything's notfor everybody, but you'll
definitely find something that'sfor you.
Belinda Gaston (41:28):
I and I I I do highly recommend you become a
part of the Lead Her group.
It has been so great for me tobe a part of and it gives you a
sense of community.
There are people who are likeme, who are doing similar things
, that I can connect with, andso definitely make sure that you
connect with Candice onFacebook, with the Uplift
(41:50):
Leadership, with Candice Jonesgroup, also on Instagram.
I'll put all of that for mylisteners, candice, on Facebook,
with the Uplift Leadership,with Candice Jones Group, also
on Instagram.
I'll put all of that for mylisteners.
I'll put all of that in thedescription and the show notes
for you on this episode soyou'll be able to find it Again.
Candice, as my grandmother wouldsay, it's been a plum pleasing
pleasure having you.
Thank you, thank you.
(42:10):
Thank you for your yes, weappreciate it and to our
listeners, thank you so much forlistening.
Thank you for your notes.
I appreciate your notes and thetext me function.
If you have a note to share,feel free to text me.
Also, make sure you subscribeto the podcast.
You'll get email updates aboutwhen our new episodes are coming
(42:33):
out and thank you again forlistening.
Please share the podcast withothers and remember that you are
indeed Graced to lead Until wemeet again.
Have a wonderfully blessed week.
Bye-bye.
Welcome to the Graced to Lead podcast.
I'm Belinda Gaston, your hostand listen.
If you are a Christian womanwho leads at work, in your own
business or even in ministry,you are in the right place here.
You'll find practical adviceand encouragement as you lead
through real conversations thatwill challenge and inspire you.
So join me on this journey tobecoming better leaders God's
(00:31):
way.
Are you ready?
Let the journey begin.
Welcome to the Graced to Leadpodcast.
I'm Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
I am excited about today'stopic.
I know I say that every time,but I really mean it.
I really mean it, and so todaywe're going to talk about
leading well and what that meansmentally, physically and
(00:55):
spiritually, and our guest ofthe hour is none other than
Candice Jones.
Candice is a passionate leader,affectionately known as the
leader's coach and the faithactivator.
She has a wealth of experiencein leadership, as a minister, a
connections director, anexecutive leadership coach, and
(01:17):
she uses all of this experienceto help leaders grow and to help
organizations grow.
She has 20 years of leadershipexperience, including being a
Christian life coach, anexecutive leadership coach and a
consultant for organizationsand business leaders who desire
to elevate their leadership,improve interconnected
(01:39):
relationships and createenvironments that foster growth
and development and createenvironments that foster growth
and development.
Candice is also an author ofthe Devotional Food for Faith,
which I can attest is a greatbook.
It ignites people to speak life.
Her mantra is speak life orshut up.
I like that.
Candice has earned degrees inhuman resources from Baker
(02:00):
College, a Bachelor of Sciencefrom Liberty University and a
Master's in OrganizationalLeadership from Columbia College
.
She is also currently pursuingher PhD in Organizational
Leadership with a ministry trackfrom Southeastern University.
As the President, founder andCEO of Regal Strategies LLC, she
(02:21):
focuses on leadership,development, connections, growth
and retention strategies.
She also has a community who Ilove, explicitly dedicated to
uplifting women in leadership inmarket and ministry spaces,
called Uplift Leadership.
I am a part of UpliftLeadHership.
It is a place that equips andempowers women worldwide to lead
(02:46):
well.
This faith-based community alsohas a mentoring circle,
development courses and monthlyempowerment sessions and has
grown tremendously, and she alsohas a signature event her
Uplift LeadHership WellnessSummit.
Last year, over 100 leaderscame from 13 different states
(03:06):
for this event and it was awonderful experience.
So listen, you are in greathands with our expert today as
we talk about leading well.
I love for you to welcomeCandice Jones to the Graced to
Lead podcast.
Welcome, candice.
Candice Jones (03:25):
Oh, my goodness, it is such an honor.
I'm so excited to be here andbe able to share with you all
today Such an honor.
Belinda Gaston (03:33):
Thank you.
We're excited to have you andlisten.
As always, we're going to jumpin and start here, and so I want
to start with.
What does it mean for a leaderto lead well?
Candice Jones (03:46):
Wow.
So I think that can be such aloaded question.
There's so many ways I can gowith that, but I really think
that leading well is reallyabout holistic leading, like
leading whole it's about.
There's a quote that I love,and it says health is a state of
body, wellness is a state ofbeing, and it's so.
(04:09):
It's about your total being.
So often, when we're leading, wefocus on different facets right
Of who we are, like ourintellect or our intelligence,
our cultural intelligence or youknow, different parts, but
leading well is really makingsure that all of who we are is
well, nothing lacking, nothingmissing, and I think that that's
(04:33):
one of the best definitions Ican probably give you.
As far as what it means to leadwell, I also think that it
means that you're leadingyourself first, and so you
mentioned this.
I started a mentorship programand we call it lead her first,
and it's exactly what it soundslike it's lead her first, and so
(04:55):
it's leading yourself firstbefore you lead others, and I
think that that is a majorcomponent of leading well.
So often, we want people to dowhat we say, but not what we do,
and so leading well absolutelyis leading by example, and I
think that that's reallyimportant.
Another thing I'll mention asfar as leading well and you've
(05:18):
heard me talk about this severaltimes it's something I'm really
passionate about is making surethat we're leading with a level
of emotional intelligence, andso that's something that has
kind of surfaced over the lastfew years.
We've heard people talk about EQ.
It used to be all about IQ Ifyou were smart and you had the
(05:40):
degrees and you had theknowledge and the skills, you
could get the job.
Now, more and more employersand even ministries and
different industries are lookingfor people who have emotional
intelligence.
And so I think leading well isnot just having skill set and
(06:00):
having intelligence and all ofthose things, but I think it's
really more importantly, it'shaving emotional intelligence,
and we know that we can breakthat down into four different
areas, and I'll just shoot themout there real quick.
That's self-awareness, it isself-regulation, it's social
awareness and it's relationshipmanagement.
(06:22):
And so when we talk aboutleading well and what that looks
like, it looks likeself-awareness, it looks like
self-regulation, it looks likesocial awareness and it looks
like really good relationshipmanagement.
Belinda Gaston (06:38):
Well, candice, you said a lot there and I kind
of want to take a minute tounpack some of this, because
this is really important and Ithink women who lead, whether
they're in corporate spaces orin ministry, are used to.
What we talk about often is thisservant leadership I'm serving
the people that I lead, serve,serve, serve.
(07:00):
And I think the realizationthat, in order for us to lead
well, we have to lead ourselvesfirst, and what wellness means
about being whole, is animportant concept that I don't
think that we focus on enough,and so I thank you for sharing
(07:25):
all of that, as well as theemotional intelligence, and I'll
say I want to explore a littlebit about this leading yourself
first concept before we move on.
And I think if you were to tellme, lead yourself first,
depending on where I am in thestate of my leadership, I could
either take offense.
I am in the state of myleadership.
(07:46):
I can either take offense, likewhat do you mean by that?
Or I could kind of sit andthink well, you know, should I
be looking at some type ofassessment?
So I would love for you toshare a bit about what it means
to lead yourself first.
Candice Jones (08:02):
I think about.
So in the mentorship programthat I have, one of the first
things we do is assessments.
Right, because thatself-awareness component is
really understanding who I am.
What are my individualstrengths and opportunities?
What are those areas?
You know, we know what we'regreat at.
People tell us all the time,but are we assessing and really
(08:25):
digging in to what are my areasof opportunity?
Where do I still need growthand development?
And so I think the jumpingpoint, the leaping pad, if you
will, is is really identifyingwho you are and what those
opportunities are that you have,so that you're able to develop
(08:49):
them.
And so, when we think aboutleading ourselves, how do we
lead other people?
We assess them, we evaluatethem and then what do we do?
We put them on a developmentplan.
So when's the last time you putyourself on a development plan,
right?
When's the last time you putyourself on a development plan
right?
When's the last time you heldyourself accountable to a smart
action plan?
(09:09):
When is the last time you didan annual or quarterly
evaluation on yourself?
And then, to take that a stepfurther, if we think about I
spent many years in the retailindustry and I can remember when
I had to develop.
We called them IDPs individualdevelopment plans for my staff.
I would then take that a stepfurther and make sure that they
(09:32):
had all of the tools that theyneeded in order to be successful
, right, and so we look at thatand think about our individual
self-leadership.
What tools are in your toolbox?
What books do you need to read?
What collaboration, what peopledo you need to be surrounding
yourself with?
(09:52):
What mentors do you need to beconnected to in this season of
your life to be able to developthose areas?
And so it's really no differentin how we lead people.
We're just putting the focus onourselves.
Belinda Gaston (10:09):
I love that.
Thank you so much for sharingthat, and you know, this idea of
the tools and the resourcesseems to be a theme on the last
few episodes.
We're talking about beingintentional with leading and
making ourselves better leaders,and I think the last three
interviews all talked about theimportance of mentoring.
(10:32):
I love how God is putting thisall together, but the importance
of mentoring, of having theresources, of looking at
yourself and what is it that Ineed, and so I think what I
would like for you to share, aswe talk about reflecting on
ourselves for a moment, when wethink about looking at ourselves
(10:53):
and you talked about theseassessments and looking at
understanding who we are andwhat our opportunities are for
growth Can you talk a little bitabout how to begin that process
?
Candice Jones (11:08):
So I think that it really starts with you know,
there was a book that I think itwas entitled the Growth Mindset
and really, really identifyinglike what I'm really big on what
tools are in your toolbox, like, what do you have that you can
go to on a consistent basis thatwill guide you through your
(11:31):
processes?
From this last quarter, mymentees, we did a
decision-making framework, andso it's something that you
probably have never even heardof, right, and so we actually
created framework to makedecisions that would help us to
make ethical, good qualitydecisions in the moment, and so
(11:57):
you may not think that you needframework for that, but what
happens is we end up insituations that we make quick
decisions and we don't gothrough a process because we
haven't created a process, andso there can be tools in your
toolbox that you create, right,and you go back and reach for
(12:19):
those tools to help you, whetherit's making decisions, whether
it is having courageousconversations, right, and so
there's framework for that.
What does that look like?
When you have to have thosetough conversations with peers,
with a spouse, with whoever itis that you're leading?
(12:39):
What does your framework andwhat is your point of reference
that you can refer back to andsay, hey, this is how I'm going
to start this courageousconversation, because I have
this tool and I have thisreference that I'm able to do
that and you're able to ensurethat it's quality every time.
Belinda Gaston (12:59):
Oh, that's so good, that's so good.
And so, as we are building ourtoolbox and we are assessing
ourselves and leading ourselvesfirst, all of these things work
together to help us to lead well.
And I know that often when wehear about people leading well
and we talk about wholeness, thefirst thing that people talk
(13:21):
about is heart, and we did awhole series on heart issues.
We did a whole thing on, youknow, dealing with the matters
of our heart.
But I know, because I attendedthe wellness summit no, here's a
plug, plug, plug for theWellness Summit leaders out here
listening that you know, one ofthe things I don't think enough
about are our minds as leaders,as our minds.
(13:45):
So can you tell us why it'salso important to address our
minds and our soul, in additionto our hearts, in order to lead
well?
Candice Jones (14:00):
Yeah, so I love that you've already talked about
the heart, because I talk a lotabout leaders.
We have to do the hard, hardwork and make sure that our
heart is right as we lead people, and we lead through
conversations and decisions.
But the mind and the soul iswhere it starts, and so part of
(14:22):
that self-regulation so wetalked about self-awareness part
of the self-regulation startsin your mind.
It starts with your thoughtprocess, and so every thought
becomes a behavior and everybehavior can turn into a
stronghold, and so sometimes welook at patterns and habits and
(14:46):
we're like how did we get here?
Well, it started with a thoughtthat we did not, and I love the
scripture that talks about howwe have the ability to take
thoughts captive, right, and sowhen we don't take those
thoughts captive and we allowthem to take root, they become
strongholds in our lives, and sothere's a scripture, also in
(15:09):
Romans, that says be transformedby the renewing of your mind,
and so that lets us know thattransformation starts where it
starts in our mind.
It starts with our thoughts,and every day we have to make a
decision to transform ourthinking, transform our life,
(15:30):
transform our leadership throughour thoughts, and so that is so
important.
I was doing some research lastyear and found out that it is
actually a scientific.
We know it's a biblical fact,we know it's a spiritual
principle, but it's actually ascientific fact that your
emotions precedes thoughts.
(15:52):
So people who have emotionalbreakdowns or emotional stress,
or they're not exhibitingemotional intelligence, that
scientifically starts with thethought, and so, scientifically,
your emotion precedes thoughts,thought precedes behavior.
(16:13):
And so what's the biblicalprinciple there?
For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he, and so everything
starts with a thought.
And so, as leaders, I thinksometimes we have to do the
thought work, if you will, ofmaking sure that we are
(16:34):
monitoring, that we are aware ofwhat our thoughts are, because
sometimes, you know, thoughtsare just like second nature,
like they just happen.
And so I think sometimesjournaling you know, if you
journal your thoughts, it'llkind of help you to see the
patterns, like what am I reallythinking about?
And then understanding what isthe fruit of these thoughts.
(16:56):
And so we all know thescripture that talks about think
on these things, those thingsthat are pure and lovely and
kind and have a good report.
The reason you have to think onthose things is because your
thoughts produce fruit Becauseyour thoughts produce fruit.
Your thoughts are producingsomething, and so you have to
make sure that you're monitoringand managing your thought
(17:21):
process well, so that your fruitis what you want it to be.
Belinda Gaston (17:26):
Wow.
I'm just allowing the moment,this pause, for people to digest
that, because I think we takefor granted sometimes how our
thoughts impact how we lead,that well, if I put forth the
(17:50):
action and the behavior, thateverything else will line up and
that's not what I hear yousaying it actually starts with
our emotions and our mind.
Emotions lead to the thoughts,the thoughts lead to our
behavior, and so that is, Ithink, a very important
statement, and I hope leadersthat are listening that you are
(18:11):
reflecting on that.
Where in your leadershipjourney has your emotions
listeners led to thoughts thatled to behavior that influenced
how you led?
Maybe you didn't lead so wellbecause of it?
That's a very good thought anda very good point.
So thank you for sharing that,Candice.
(18:32):
So I'm listening to you talkand taking my own notes here and
thinking clearly, this womanhas never had a time where she
struggled to lead well, andshe's got it all together.
She's got one, two, three,almost four degrees, a whole
(18:53):
business mentoring group.
Clearly she's got this alltogether.
And so I'm going to ask thisquestion and the answer may be
like well, no, I've got ittogether.
That's what I think you'regoing to say, but has there ever
been a time, Candice, where youstruggled to lead well, and if
that was a time, can you sharewith us how you navigated that
(19:16):
space that time?
Candice Jones (19:18):
Or navigating.
So I you know I'm going todefinitely just have a moment of
transparency here, becausethat's how I lead, right?
I'm a very transformational andtransparent leader and I think
it's so important for us to betransparent to a degree.
(19:39):
A lot of times we like to gothrough things and then we want
to tell people how we getthrough, but sometimes,
especially those who are walkingvery close with you, they need
to experience you going through.
They need to see what it isthat you're doing and how you're
navigating through that.
So I would even say, morerecently than I probably should
admit on a podcast, I'vedefinitely struggled to lead
(20:04):
well, but have been able toidentify how I got there, and I
think that's so important.
I talk often about when God,when Adam ate the fruit and God
went looking for him and he saidAdam, where are you?
Elijah did was under a tree.
The prophet Elijah, we know hewas under a tree ready to die,
and the spirit of God came tohim and said why are you here?
(20:26):
And so sometimes God asks usthese questions to help us
identify, asked us thesequestions to help us identify
how did you get here?
How did you get to this placewhere you're not leading
yourself well.
You can't lead others well ifyou're not leading yourself well
.
And so I need you to identifywhat got you to this state so
(20:49):
that you don't repeat.
And so I would say December oflast, the year before last, so
almost a year and a half ago, Ilost my uncle.
My uncle passed away and he waslike a dad to me, and we found
out on a Sunday and on a Monday.
That Monday morning we were ona flight, automatically in what
(21:11):
do you call it?
Damage control, trying tostabilize stuff, trying to plan,
and from that point up untilabout four months ago, I stayed
in that mode.
And so what God began to showme, probably about the end of
last year, around October, wasbusyness was my drug of choice.
(21:31):
Let me just pause there for aminute.
Yeah, I didn't.
I haven't ever, I've never beena drinker or no.
He said busyness is your drugof choice.
And this is what the HolySpirit spoke to me.
He said I can't heal what won'tbe still.
I was like, well, just beat meup, holy Ghost.
(21:53):
He said I can't heal what won'tbe still.
He said that there's refreshingand restoration and realignment
and rejuvenation.
All of that stuff happens in mypresence.
According to scripture, there'srefreshing in the presence of
God.
He said so, but the presence ofGod has to be practiced.
(22:14):
It has to be entertained andengaged.
You've got to sit there for alittle bit and he said, because
you have not set here what hashappened, can I just tell my
story?
I'll just be transparent onthis good old podcast, because I
was not allowing God to healthat.
Then I began to make decisionsfrom a place of grief.
(22:35):
I heard on another a few weeksago someone say what said what
you do in grief is not what youwould do outside of grief.
What you do while you'regrieving is not what you would
do when you're not grieving.
And so what I started noticingis the quality of my decisions
(22:55):
was diminishing.
And because I was busy, thethings that made me a good
leader, like my spiritualdisciplines, like my wellness
disciplines, like the time thatI spent in the presence of God,
like the time that I spent withcovenant relationships my
busyness prevented me from doingall of those things.
(23:19):
That was my wellness plan.
And so, because I neglected mywellness plan, I ended up at a
place about October of last yearwhere it just collapsed and you
know, and I'm so grateful thatI am a coach that has a coach, a
mentor that has a mentor, and Ihave a spiritual covering.
(23:40):
And she looked at me and shesaid oh no, no, you're going to
sit down, you're going to sitdown and you're going to allow
yourself time to heal.
And so many people who walkclose to me right now will tell
you I've been on and off ofsabbatical since October and if
you're in uplift, you know thatI just put up a post that said
(24:02):
it's okay to take a break.
And we're on a break Because wehave to again.
It goes back to I cannot healwhat won't be still.
And so do you know that weconstantly need healing.
So our summit on last year, ourscripture, was Jeremiah 30 and
(24:23):
17.
I want to read that.
It says for I will restore youto health and I will heal you of
your wounds.
Now, when you look at thedefinition of wounds, it's
injury caused by impact cuts,blows or brokenness.
(24:44):
So now I want you to thinkabout yourself, lead her.
We take all day long impactcuts, blows, blows, and we
constantly are walking aroundfragmented.
And so god said I can heal, thatI can do something about that,
(25:05):
but you've got to be willing to,to to step away from your
responsibilities long enough forme to do that and I say this
all the time to leaders, belindaand I really had to own that
and sit with that.
I tell people all the time ifyou're the only person who can
do it, you're not doing it well.
And so what that means is, ifyou can't take a break because
(25:29):
you're the only person who cando it, you're not leading well,
because who are you mentoring?
Who are you pouring into?
Who are you teaching to be ableto do what it is that you do?
That's often why we can't sitdown, and so recently, recently,
(25:51):
I've had to do thatself-evaluation and look at my
leadership and say you know this, belinda?
I say often we don't pour froman empty cup.
What we pour matters, thequality of our pour matters,
right, right.
And so I can keep pouring andpouring and pouring from a
(26:12):
polluted place, from an unhealedplace, from a dry place, and
eventually the people who aredrinking that are going to still
be thirsty.
You can fool them for a minute,right, but at some point
they're not growing, they're notgetting the nutrition, they're
not getting what it is thatgetting the nutrition.
(26:32):
They're not getting what it isthat they need from you because
you don't have it and you cannotgive what you do not have.
I think about the man at thegate I think it was at the gate
called Beautiful.
When they're walking in and theguy and he and Peter looks at
the man who's begging for moneyand he said to him it's silver
and gold I don't have, but whatI do have I will give to you,
(26:55):
and I use this a lot when I'mtalking to leaders.
We don't take that same mentalmodel.
We just want to give everybodyeverything and anything, even if
we don't have it.
How can I give you healing andI'm not walking in healing how
can I get you delivered fromsomething I'm still wrestling
with?
(27:15):
How can I try to develop you inan area of your leadership that
I'm still struggling in?
And so sometimes we got toevaluate what are we pouring?
Is it really quality, or do weneed to go back and sit with,
sit with Jesus for a minute andlet him heal us in those areas
so that what we pour into othersis quality?
Belinda Gaston (27:41):
I am again quiet , intentionally, because you
said a lot Not being able to behealed because we can't be,
still Not being able to pourfrom an empty cup.
Giving, trying to give what wedon't have is all in alignment
with what God has been sharingwith us over the last few
(28:03):
episodes.
Leanne Marquez, who is a lifecoach, and she talked about
busyness in one of our episodesand she was asking the question.
She said busyness is not bad,so it's.
You know we all can get busy,but are you being intentional
with your time?
Are you busy with the thingsthat you should be busy with?
(28:25):
Are you just busy becauseyou're obligated or because you
feel like this is what youshould do, or now you've added
another layer to that Cand, likethis is what you should do, or
now you've added another layerto that.
Candice is, have you not evenequipped someone else to do that
thing that you're doing?
And so I love how this iscoming together and I have to
say I'm surprised.
I do know, because I'm a partof the LeadHERS group, that you
(28:48):
were taking sabbaticals and Idid see the post about that and
was cheering about the time.
You're taking sabbaticals, andI did see the post about that
and was cheering about the timeyou're taking for yourself, but
I didn't know the details, so Iappreciate your transparency.
I think that a lot of ourlisteners can relate.
And again, the theme of pausing, the pause.
Pat Layton talked about thepower of pause.
(29:11):
You talk about the power andthe pause, and Leanne talked
about pausing and being still,and so there is something.
Listeners, if you have beenlistening for the last few
episodes, there is something toreceive from the idea of pausing
.
And so, Candice, we talkedabout why it's important to lead
(29:32):
well.
We talked about beingintentional.
You shared what it looks liketo lead well and even through
your experience that you sharedjust now, about strategies you
put in place, and one of thoseis that you talked about was
this, pausing and being stillCan you share some practical
tips for our leaders to help usall be intentional about leading
(29:55):
well?
Candice Jones (29:57):
Yeah, absolutely Absolutely.
I think it's so important thatwe do walk away with tools right
in our toolbox as to how do wedo this.
So some of the things that I'vecommitted to, even during this
journey of self-evaluation andself-leadership, is have those
spiritual and wellnessdisciplines that are just
non-negotiable.
This is what I'm going to do,and I'm going to do it whether I
(30:18):
feel like it or not, and so forme, that's walking right now,
and so I track it.
I try to share it on socialmedia just for that extra
motivation.
But have spiritual and wellnessdisciplines that are just
non-negotiable, that I'm goingto do it, whether I feel like
doing it or not.
Avoid decision fatigue.
(30:40):
I teach a whole workshop arounddecision fatigue and I won't go
into it too much.
You can research it.
It's something that definitelyhas a lot more research around
it right now, but we have a veryfinite amount of mental energy,
right, and sometimes justpractically we use that energy
on.
Can I say this on this podcastDumb stuff, dumb stuff.
(31:04):
And so I was looking at thisresearch the other day that
talked about women only wear 20%of what's in their closet, but
we'll spend an hour looking at80%.
It makes no sense that's dumbstuff, right.
And so part of avoiding thatdecision fatigue is pre-deciding
things.
I put these braids in my haircause I pre-decided that I was
(31:27):
not going to have to think abouta hairdo all summer.
Pre-deciding outfits we sawwith Barack Obama and, I think,
a few other people, where theywould wear the same outfit.
They have the same shirt andthey own it in 20 different ones
.
If you know me, you know I'vegot 20 pair of black leggings
and 20 denim jackets.
(31:47):
What does that do?
It saves my mental energy forbigger, better decisions, things
that I have to use that energyon.
So pre-decide, pre-decide whatyou're going to eat, what you're
going to wear, anything thatyou can pre-decide, pre-decide,
because your mental energy isfinite.
Okay, create accountability.
So have those people that willpull your coattail and say sit
(32:10):
down.
I know you're performing, Iknow you're gifted.
I know you're gifted, I knowyou're talented, I know you're
called, I know people arewaiting on you, but I'm more
concerned about you.
So have those people that willbe honest with you and tell you
to get somewhere and sit down,take a sabbatical.
(32:30):
Before I willingly took asabbatical, I was put on one, so
now it's just for me it's likeoh, I'm going to take a
sabbatical, I'm going to take abreak, I'm going to pause
because there is power in thepause.
So create the accountabilityand then practice the pause
often.
(32:50):
Pause it is okay, they will beokay, the job will be okay, the
children will be okay, thehusband will be okay.
So, candice, what do I need topause for?
Pause for healing, pause forclarity, pause to regain
strength, pause for peace, pausefor wellness.
(33:13):
And pause when God tells you topause, even when you don't know
why, because he's been beforeyou and he knows so often that
we need to pause before we hitthat next battle, that next
thing that might take us out ifwe don't take the time to get
that refreshing, to get ourstrength up, to get that clarity
(33:37):
of vision and mission.
And so pause and pause often.
Belinda Gaston (33:43):
Those are really good tips.
The spiritual and wellnessdisciplines is something that
I'm practicing right now as well.
So I've always been.
I guess within the last year orso, I've been really good with
my fitness journey just becauseI had to get in shape.
Where I have lacked was my timealone with prayer and
(34:05):
meditation, and so I am quick topray for others and quick to
study.
If I have a teaching assignmentMaybe there's a Bible teaching
assignment or I'm speaking at anevent or something like that
I'm quick to do that.
But doing that just for myselfhas been a struggle, and so I've
(34:25):
really been.
I put the time on my calendar, Ihave alerts on my watch, on my
phone, on my computer, so Idon't miss it.
So I think that's a great tip,and decision fatigue is
something I hadn't thought about, candice, so thank you for
sharing.
I don't know listeners, let meknow.
You know, if you're listeningto this and you make comments,
there is a button for you totext me.
Text me if you have thoughtsabout this.
(34:46):
But the decision fatigue andthen creating accountability I
think that's also reallyimportant.
I think that's a great tip andI would say creating
accountability with people youknow who will hold you
accountable?
Because we all have that onefriend where you say hold me
accountable, girl, and then whenyou call her she's like well,
(35:08):
ok, it's OK, you didn't do it,it's OK.
Just you know, I know yourheart Like she'll cut you.
Candice Jones (35:13):
She, her is not me.
My friends know, like if youtell me something is going on my
calendar, you're getting analert.
We're going to check in aboutit.
So that is so important aboutwho you link up with as it
relates to accountability.
Belinda Gaston (35:33):
Yes, yes, I love it.
I love it.
So I think those are reallygood tips.
So thank you for sharing that.
I'm going to ask for you toshare before we tell people how
to connect with you.
Can you share maybe a finalthought here, as it relates to
leading?
Well, if you had to leave uswith a final thought for our
(35:53):
listeners the one thing you wantthem to take away from this
conversation- what would you sayFirst of all, let me say you
look amazing because you talkedabout your wellness journey and
working out.
Candice Jones (36:04):
You look amazing.
Listen, I would leave as afinal thought that wellness is
your portion and it's yourresponsibility.
It's your portion and it isyour responsibility, it's your
responsibility, and so don'tconceal it, heal it.
(36:28):
Don't conceal it, heal it.
I was getting ready for amonthly Zoom that we do inside
of Uplift, and I shared thisstory.
I was getting ready and the HolySpirit always speaks to me
before I go live, as it relatesto what to pour into the women
and I was doing a little touchup on my makeup and I noticed
here I'm gonna be transparentagain I noticed that the older I
get, I keep getting theselittle chin hairs and I'm like
what is this?
And so I got my little blendbrush out and I started to put
(36:51):
on more makeup because I didn'twant those to be, you know, seen
on the camera.
And so I started blending and Icould still see them.
So I went and put someconcealer and I could still see
them.
And so I didn't have anytweezers because I'm not used to
having these little chin hairs.
So I got some scissors and Iwent to cut these little chin
hairs.
So I got some scissors and Iwent to cutting these little
(37:12):
chin hairs off my chin and theHoly Spirit said look at you.
And I was like what are yousaying, holy Spirit?
And he said some stuff we workso hard to conceal, to blend, we
get that little blend brush.
We, good at it.
Now we get that little blendbrush and that setting spray and
(37:35):
we get rid of all the blemishes.
But it didn't matter how much Iput on, those hairs were still
really long and could be seenright.
And so the Holy Spirit said youcan cut it with those scissors,
but those are hairs that needto be pulled at the root.
Oh, let me tell you, and so sooften, as leaders, we're
(38:00):
covering up things that Godwants to get to the root of so
that we can lead well, and so Iwant to encourage the leaders
that are listening today Stopblending it, stop concealing it,
stop covering it.
There is a book that I justread and I hate not giving
credit to the author, so I'mgoing to try to get it to you,
(38:22):
but I think the book is calledSoul of Desire.
He does amazing work that I'musing for some of my PhD work.
But he says this.
He says are you spending yourlife concealing guilt shame, I'm
just going to say all thethings or are you looking for
(38:42):
the beautiful artifact that Godis trying to create with your
life?
And so don't spend the mentalenergy concealing?
It?
Took a lot for it took a lot ofmakeup that was expensive, like
I'm just wasting makeup, tryingto conceal something when God
wants to heal it and then use it.
(39:04):
How does he use it?
He uses it so that we becomebetter leaders.
We can lead by experience andwe can really tell people how to
heal.
Belinda Gaston (39:16):
Well, that's a perfect way for us to end.
I think we might need to do apart two of this conversation,
because you dropped so many, asI say, wisdom nuggets.
You dropped so many wisdomnuggets, listeners.
I hope that you were able totake some notes.
I know I have spoken to a lotof you who say you listen in the
car so you can't take notes inthe car, but go back and take
(39:39):
notes, candice, thank you somuch, thank you.
Thank you.
Thank you for your time.
This has been amazing.
I know right now that ourlisteners are trying to figure
out how can they find you, howdo they stay connected, so I
would like to give you anopportunity now to share, or
share, you know, anything thatyou're working on, that you'd
(40:00):
like to share with our listenerswhat's coming up for Candice
Jones, and also how we can canstay in contact with you.
How can, how can they reach you?
Candice Jones (40:10):
How can they reach you?
Yeah, so again, it's been suchan honor.
I have a website,regalstrategiesorg, and so many
of the things that I do you canfind there, because I am living
this leading well.
We postponed our Lead WellSummit and so, again, just an
example of we're not going to bean autopilot Like.
(40:36):
I really wanted to make sure Igave myself time to grieve and
to be whole and restored, and sothat is going to happen, and
you can find that on the website.
When we released a new date, Ihave a book that I'm working on
and it's all about 30 days tolead well.
It's a devotion and a guide to30 minutes of three things you
can do for 30 minutes to leadwell, and so that will be coming
out soon.
You can find me on all thesocial media platforms.
Instagram, candice Jones but,is where our hub is for the
(40:58):
Uplift Leadership community, andso you just look up Uplift
Leadership with Candice Jonesand you can join our community
there.
We do all kinds of things.
We're on break right now, butwe're still doing monthly
empowerment sessions.
We have a mentorship circle.
We do dig deep cohort series.
(41:19):
There's just a plethora ofthings in there to kind of meet
you where you are.
I always say everything's notfor everybody, but you'll
definitely find something that'sfor you.
Belinda Gaston (41:28):
I and I I I do highly recommend you become a
part of the Lead Her group.
It has been so great for me tobe a part of and it gives you a
sense of community.
There are people who are likeme, who are doing similar things
, that I can connect with, andso definitely make sure that you
connect with Candice onFacebook, with the Uplift
(41:50):
Leadership, with Candice Jonesgroup, also on Instagram.
I'll put all of that for mylisteners, candice, on Facebook,
with the Uplift Leadership,with Candice Jones Group, also
on Instagram.
I'll put all of that for mylisteners.
I'll put all of that in thedescription and the show notes
for you on this episode soyou'll be able to find it Again.
Candice, as my grandmother wouldsay, it's been a plum pleasing
pleasure having you.
Thank you, thank you.
(42:10):
Thank you for your yes, weappreciate it and to our
listeners, thank you so much forlistening.
Thank you for your notes.
I appreciate your notes and thetext me function.
If you have a note to share,feel free to text me.
Also, make sure you subscribeto the podcast.
You'll get email updates aboutwhen our new episodes are coming
(42:33):
out and thank you again forlistening.
Please share the podcast withothers and remember that you are
indeed Graced to lead Until wemeet again.
Have a wonderfully blessed week.
Bye-bye.
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