May 2, 2024 • 33 mins
Discover your true leadership potential with the guidance of Dr. Stephanie Kirkland as we delve into the heart of what makes an authentic leader. This isn't just another leadership talk; Dr. Stephanie delves into the truth about leadership identity. Through personal experiences and expert insights, Dr. Stephanie and I share the importance of embracing the innate gifts and talents that define your divine purpose in leadership. We uncover the common pitfalls that many Christian women in leadership face – the confusion of conflating titles with identity and the quest for a deeper understanding of their influence.
This episode invites you to embark on the most important assignment of your life—discovering and honoring your authentic leadership identity.
Warning: You may need to listen more than once and take notes. Your narrative awaits, and the impact you can have on this world is too significant to ignore.
Resources mentioned in the show:
- Dr. Stephanie's new book: IDENTITY: 12 Lessons on Unapologetically Owning Your Uniqueness In A World that Won’t See It As Normal. - Dr. Stephanie M Kirkland
- Contact Dr. Stephanie:
- Facebook: Stephanie M. Kirkland
- LinkedIn: Dr. Stephanie M. Kirkland
- Instagram: Identity Dynamics
- Website: Identity Dynamics
Please subscribe to our mailing list to stay connected and get updates! Thanks for listening to the Graced to Lead Podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Belinda Gaston (00:07):
Welcome to the Graced to Lead podcast.
I'm Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
If you are a Christian womanwho leads at work, at home, in
ministry or your own business,you are in the right place.
Here, you'll find encouragement, practical advice, and even a
little humor too.
We'll have some realconversations that will
challenge you and inspire you inall areas of your life.
(00:30):
So join me for this journey tobecome better leaders God's way.
It's a call for us to embraceGod's grace to lead even when we
feel unqualified.
So if that's you, you are inthe right place.
Welcome and let the journeybegin.
Welcome to the Graced to Leadpodcast.
(00:50):
Our guest is Dr StephanieKirkland.
Dr Stephanie is known as theidentity shaper.
She is the CEO and founder ofIdentity Dynamics, a leadership
development company thateducates on the crucial yet
widely overlooked impact ofidentity on professional and
organizational success.
Dr Kirkland has created aproprietary identity-centered
(01:14):
leadership framework to supportindividuals and organizations
that focus on things fromcommunication and adaptability
to team building and driving asustainable culture of equity.
She has 20 years of experiencein personal and professional
leadership development and adoctor of education from
Northeastern University, so DrKirkland knows exactly what
(01:37):
she's talking about.
I encourage you, as listeners,to go ahead and grab your pens,
your pencils, your digitalnote-taking devices as we dig
into this episode on identity inleadership.
So let's welcome Dr Stephanie.
Dr Stephanie, welcome to theGraced to Lead podcast.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (01:57):
Thank you so much.
I'm honored to be here and totalk to you, thank you.
Belinda Gaston (02:01):
We're going to go ahead and get started with
our discussion, because a lot oftimes, as leaders, we focus on
things like how do I lead well?
What do I need to change tomake myself a better leader?
Some of us are in positionswhere we are in executive
leadership in a corporate space,some are leading in a ministry,
and the one thing that we oftenoverlook is our identity, who
(02:25):
we are, and so I want us tostart there, dr Stephanie.
Let's talk a little bit aboutwhat we mean by leadership
identity, and then we'll talk alittle bit about why that's
important.
So can you tell our listenerswhat it means when we talk about
leadership identity?
When we talk about leadershipidentity?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (02:43):
Well, when we are talking about it, it
means that we are leveragingwho we are in the shaping and
the perspective and lens of howwe show up in our leadership.
That includes our leadershipphilosophy, how we engage other
people and what that looks like,as well as what is the impact
(03:03):
that I am trying to make and howam I trying to influence those
that I am responsible to lead.
So it is moving away fromoutdated leadership norms, ways
of looking at leadership onlythrough the lens of models or
prototypes, and then taking ouridentity out of the background
(03:28):
right, and then bringing it tothe foreground with regards to
what is that divine DNA that Godhas put on the inside of me?
What are those gifts, thosetalents and those abilities that
I am supposed to be using tocreate impact in my realm of
experience?
Because if we're depending onleadership norms and prototypes
(03:52):
and things that other people aretelling us about leadership and
our show up, we're missing outon the assignment right.
We're missing out on why we'rein this space in the first place
, and so it's reclaiming, it'salmost like a reclamation of
what and how am I supposed toreally be showing up here?
(04:15):
What does this mean to the bigpicture.
What does God say about theimpact that I've been created to
make?
How am I evaluating and lookingat my lived experience and my
healing and my growth anddevelopment and leveraging that
in my leadership?
Belinda Gaston (04:36):
And you know, I think it's interesting.
One of the reasons I was soexcited to have you on the show
is that I've not heard peopletalk about our divine giftings
in leadership as we look atourselves as leaders, and so for
so many women, they struggle inthe space of understanding who
they are, because there isreally a separation of kind of
(04:58):
the idea of who God made you tobe versus who the world says you
should be if you're in aspecific leadership position.
So if you are leading abusiness, this is how you should
be.
If you're leading in acorporate sector, this is how
you should be.
If you're leading in ministry,even this is how you should be.
And you were the first person Iheard that talked about that
(05:19):
kind of divine giftings, and soI want to ask if you could talk
a little bit more about whyunderstanding that divine
gifting and why understandingwho you are, your leadership
identity, why is that importantfor women who lead?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (05:37):
Because that is a part of purpose.
And we have been groomed,whether in the marketplace, in
secular circles or inministerial or religious circles
.
We have been taught prototypes,we have been taught roles and
responsibilities and we haveallowed those roles and
(05:59):
responsibilities to take theplace of our identity,
responsibilities to take theplace of our identity.
So, instead of me leveragingwho I am and allowing the roles
and responsibilities that I walkout to be a conduit for who I
am and what I bring to the table, we have put ourselves, our
identity, our divine DNA, as Ilike to call it, our gifts,
(06:23):
talents, abilities.
You know that there's ascripture in the Bible I can't
think of where it is right now,but it talks about train up a
child in the way he should goand when he is old.
But when we really look at thatcontext, in Amplified if you
look at the classic Amplified itsays train up a child in the
way that they are already bentand when they are old they will
(06:44):
not depart, and when they areold they will not depart.
And so, from our childhood, wehave been groomed to fit into
these roles and responsibilitiesand not have taken into
consideration who is this personand how is that person going to
fit in these roles andresponsibilities, actually
(07:08):
focusing in on who they are andhow they show up, so that the
purpose of who they are is nowbeing filtered through what I
call conduits?
Right, because who you are inan office setting is a conduit
for me.
It's a conduit for my purpose,my divine leaning, who I've been
called to be, who I am as amother, my who I am is the gift.
(07:32):
Right, I've been saying this andI keep you know, just kind of
speaking this out you are thegift, not the role and the
responsibility.
You are the gift, and the roleand the responsibility is
nothing but a pathway for thegift to shine through.
And when we stop and say, okay,these are roles and
(07:52):
responsibilities, these arethings that I walk out.
But I need to define out who amI, why am I here?
What does this mean?
And then we have to have theconversation is purpose is not
outside of me.
I am purpose.
Purpose is not something that Ifind.
It is me becoming the greatestexpression of myself, because
(08:14):
I'm the gift, because I have themessage.
And then everything else flowsin such a different way, because
the message that you're calledto speak the message your life
is called to speak now can speakthrough everything you touch,
then it doesn't matter how youshow up or what that means.
You are the gift, you are themessage, and your show up then
(08:39):
becomes the impactor that Godhas already created you to be in
the earth.
Belinda Gaston (08:45):
For my listeners .
I got a chance to do kind of amini course with Dr Kirkland as
part of her studies and thatconcept of you are the gift and
not associating myself as aleader to the position or the
roles that I have whether thatwas mother minister at the time,
(09:06):
associate director, whateverthat role was that I had I was
trying to conform into the roleinstead of understanding.
Listen who I am is what I needto focus on and that makes all
those roles as a mother, as awife, as those things, much
(09:26):
better.
And so I do say you know, ifyou're listening to this, you
might be thinking, well, I've, Idon't quite get it.
I want to kind of get a littlebit practical here, because I
think a lot of times what we dois we evaluate ourselves based
on what we think we should bedoing.
And what I'm hearing you say islisten first, you understand
(09:50):
who you are, understand thatyou're the gift, understand that
there's a purpose that God hasput in you, and then you
evaluate yourself based on thatversus what you're doing.
And so I'd really like to talka little bit about how does one,
if they're listening to thisand they're thinking, well, how
do I know if I'm having somechallenges in understanding my
(10:12):
identity?
Are there signs or are therethings that show up?
Because we don't know who weare, we don't understand our
leadership identity?
What are those things thatmight be the triggers that say,
wait, this might be an issue forme.
I might really need to focus inon my identity as a leader.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (10:33):
One of the triggers is not being
fulfilled and looking around,because that was my trigger,
that was my personal trigger.
I was doing a lot of things, Iwas leading in a lot of spaces,
I was in ministry, I was on thepraise team, I was an
entrepreneur, I was with afamily, I was a mother, I was a
(10:54):
wife, and I looked around and Isaid I have skill right and I
have roles and responsibilitiesand I do them well.
But everybody around me ishappy but me.
Everybody around me seems OKwith this, this journey that
we're on, and I know I haven'ttouched purpose.
(11:17):
So the first trigger is I'm notfulfilled.
I am doing what I'm doing anddoing it well, but I still feel
on the inside of me that thereis something missing and I have
yet to tap into what that is.
So the first trigger is notbeing fulfilled.
The second trigger is asking thequestion who am I?
(11:37):
Because when the roles andresponsibilities begin to shift
and move in your life or youfind yourself evolving and
transitioning to differentseasons of your life and the
first thing that comes to you iswhat am I supposed to be doing?
What do I like?
Why am I?
What is this about.
I don't understand what's goingon, because those roles and
(11:57):
responsibilities which have beenactually defining your show up
are starting to shift.
Things like there are women whoare now divorced, but your
identity was wife, right?
So I tell people all the time,if it can move, if the
identifier can leave, it's notwho you are.
Belinda Gaston (12:15):
It's not who you are.
I think we need to pause for asecond.
Say that again, if theidentifier can leave.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (12:24):
It's not who you are.
It's not who you are.
That's good Right.
So being so, if I'm, if one ofmy identifiers is wife, I can be
divorced.
I'm no longer a wife.
If I have children and nowthey're empty nest, I'm an empty
nester.
I am no longer.
I'm still a mother, but I'm nolonger that in my active
practice as a part of my dynamic, or I can lose my children.
(12:47):
You know what I'm saying.
It doesn't mean that that is nolonger or has not been a part
of your narrative, but it is notno longer an identifier, right?
If I'm a leader at church, ifI'm in ministry, if I've been
pastoring and now all of asudden I'm retired from
pastoring, that moved.
So that is not a representationof my identity and who I am.
(13:12):
It is a conduit that God usesin order to express the gifting
that I am, because I'm the gift,not the title, not the position
, not the role or theresponsibility.
Those are conduits, those areavenues that God uses to help me
show up in spaces the way thatI need, because the people in
(13:34):
those spaces need the messagethat I'm called to speak.
So those are not definers of me.
If the identifier can move, itis not who you are.
So those are two things rightthe movement of identifiers and
not being fulfilled.
Belinda Gaston (13:53):
I love that because I think it helps to put
a different perspective on howwe think of ourselves as women.
We often attach ourselves towhat we do, not who we are.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (14:05):
We've been told to do that.
Belinda Gaston (14:07):
Starting with children.
Right, when you're a child,that's kind of how it starts for
girls.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (14:12):
You've been getting a baby doll that's
motherhood.
You've been given a kitchen set.
That's cooking and providing.
We're groomed Right, and sothat grooming creates narratives
that we are now trying to playout.
We'll be at church and you're asingle person and the first
thing somebody asks you is whyyou not marry, as if singlehood
(14:33):
is not a part of the dynamic andthe lived experience, or
marriage being the only thingthat you're called to be to
another person.
You see what I'm saying, sowe're grooming people to put
themselves in the background andallow roles and
responsibilities to define theirshow up.
Belinda Gaston (14:53):
Yes, and we've talked about what identity means
in leadership, and we've talkedabout signs that women may
experience that say, wait aminute, maybe I don't know my
identity as a leader.
I'd like for you to share alittle bit about some practical
steps that women in leadershipcan take to understand better
(15:17):
who they are as leaders.
How do they so?
I've now discovered you knowsomething's off here.
What can I do to startunderstanding better my identity
as a leader?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (15:29):
So I usually start with helping
leaders to develop theiridentity plan is what I call it.
So we even start back to sowhat are your beliefs?
Because identity includes a lotof pieces, right?
So what are your beliefs,whether that's the investigation
and the self-awareness of thosepersonal and those familial or
(15:49):
even religious beliefs right?
What are they?
How have they shaped?
You being aware of just thesimple question is that you, or
is that what you've been taughtabout that perspective of belief
?
Right?
That's important.
What is your accepted truth?
And I mean when I say acceptedtruth, what really is your and
(16:13):
I'm gonna use this wordapplicable understanding of your
beliefs?
Are they just things that youhave owned because you've seen
them work in other people'slives, or are they things and
principles and concepts thatyou're actually using to move
your life and who you are andhow you show up forward Values
right.
What are your values?
(16:33):
We begin to talk about thatValues are the boundaries of
beliefs, right.
What are your values?
We begin to talk about thatValues are the boundaries of
beliefs, right.
It helps us to make sure thatwhat it is that we have said to
be our truth, that now I havethese boundaries or ways of
being things I will and won't dothat are connected to that your
brain framing, looking back atthe patterns that have been
created over your livedexperience, that you're now
(16:55):
experiencing as you're livingand going through situations and
circumstances.
You know, the man of God saidit so vividly.
He was like you know, and Inever understood why Paul said
that.
Where he said he enjoyschallenge, I'm like who enjoys
challenge?
But really, you know, whenchallenges come or situations
and circumstances come into ourlives, it gives us an
(17:16):
opportunity to be exposed towhat is really our accepted
truth, because our brain, theway our brain works you know I
love that neuroscience stuff Ourbrain holds on to the
information that has gone acrossour lived experience and is how
we are making decisions.
It is how we're showing up, aremaking decisions.
It is how we're showing up andwe wonder sometimes why am I
(17:37):
stuck?
Why do I desire to do something?
But I end up living outsomething else, out of habit,
and it's because your brain isactually processing what it is
that you have already generatedto be truth for you.
You might have a truth in yourconscious mind, right, something
that you have accepted or havelearned, but because it's not an
(17:58):
applied truth, it's not a partof your decision-making and
processing.
So the self-awareness workhelps you to slow down
Leadership.
Women aren't slow, theyeverywhere, they popping,
flipping, booping, booping.
So we are not even slow enoughto pay attention to how we're
engaging the world around us.
And so that process of doingthat because what are your
(18:20):
cultural definitions?
What is around that has shapedeven your cultural lens, the
norms that you're a part of,whether it's gender, race,
verbal cues, body language, thecharacteristics that make you
who you are.
So I usually tell people wehave to start there.
And then, when you begin to dothat investigation, you can ask
(18:42):
yourself the question am I goingto keep it or do I need to get
rid of it?
It's like being, I telleverybody, it's like being an
archaeologist on a dig right,you become the archaeologist of
your life, of your livedexperience, because now you need
to make a pivot, you need togrow, you need to evolve in a
way, because there is for all ofus, as women of God, something
(19:05):
calling on us, something pullingus in a direction that we need
to go.
Don't know where thatnecessarily is leading.
That work, that preparation forwhat is to come, is us doing
(19:27):
that self-evaluation around ouridentity, who we are, and begin
to ask the question who do Ineed to become for where I'm
going and is who I am withregards to my beliefs, my values
, my accepted truths, theframings that have taken place,
the norms that I have acceptedto be my own.
Are those things going tosupport me and where I'm going?
Because if they're not and youcontinue to stay in that space,
(19:47):
you will stay in the habits andbehaviors of that context.
So it's all that first step isself-awareness.
Belinda Gaston (19:55):
And I love this idea of who do I need to be to
get to where I'm going.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (20:03):
Yes.
Belinda Gaston (20:03):
Because that's been designed, orchestrated by
God, right.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (20:07):
So if God?
Belinda Gaston (20:07):
says this is where you need to be.
How do I get there?
But I'm putting myself in theposition of some of our
listeners thinking, well, thissounds really great, but who has
time for all of this Like?
This sounds very time consuming.
What would you say to a womanwho's like I'm too busy?
I just told you I have allthese things I'm juggling and
(20:27):
I'm leading in all of thesespaces.
I don't have time to do thework to put into understanding
my identity.
I'm just going to keep doingwhat I'm doing.
What would you say to thatwoman?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (20:39):
I would say to her what else do you have
time for other than yourpurpose?
What do you mean?
You don't have time.
We are the creator of ourschedules, so nobody made you
have that schedule, but you.
So if you made it, you canchange it.
And what else do you have timefor other than your assignment?
(21:02):
That's period.
What else do you have time forother than what you were created
to be and the message your lifehas been called to speak in the
earth has been called to speakin the earth.
What else do you have time for?
But to find out why you arehere and what that message is.
If you don't do the work thatyou're called to do in the earth
(21:28):
, and you tell me that you'retoo busy to reposition yourself,
to be in alignment with theassignment on your life, I have
a problem with that.
Belinda Gaston (21:42):
And I think we all should have a problem with
that, and I think busyness isone of the biggest challenges to
doing the work, and in a futureepisode we're going to talk
about being unbusy, going frombusyness to being unbusy.
So if you're listening, makesure you come back and listen to
that episode.
You know I'm going to ask onekind of last question and I'll
allow you to share your finalthoughts.
(22:03):
I'll share with our audiencethat one of the things I was
most surprised about goingthrough working with you
individually is how much freedomI got after I understood wait a
minute, this is who I am, and Ididn't really.
I think I probably need toschedule another session, dr
(22:23):
Stephanie, because I feel like Ineed to do some more work but
just the uncovering of who I amand why I have tendencies that I
have really been suppressinghonestly as a leader to say
things a certain way, do thingsa certain way and see things a
certain way.
It provided a different levelof freedom and after our initial
(22:45):
work I got promoted.
So that was so.
You know.
Now I'm associate vicepresident and you're supposed to
say that with some kind oftenor in your voice.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (22:53):
But what ?
Belinda Gaston (22:53):
I find is that because of that work.
When I say freedom, what I meanis when I come into a space now,
before I would come in reallyand I'm going to be transparent
here, listeners I came intospaces trying to justify why I
should be in really.
And I'm going to be transparenthere, listeners I came into
spaces trying to justify why Ishould be in the space.
I came ready to be defensiveabout why I was in a room, why I
(23:16):
was in a position, why I made adecision, and understanding my
identity, my leadership identityin the work that I did with Dr
Stephanie, really helped meunderstand that I didn't have to
have that stance, and so when Icome into a space now, I come
in authentically as who I am,and the time and the effort and
(23:37):
the energy it took to defend andto be that like proving myself.
With that gone, I now have thetime to be creative, I have the
time to lead well, I have thetime to use more empathy, and I
also found that people seem tobe inspired by that, and so I'd
(23:59):
like for you to talk about whyunderstanding your leadership
identity really is important asit relates to your calling.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (24:11):
But I just, I truly believe with all
of my heart that part of myjourney was this experience
where I wanted to know thisquestion right.
You know, I originally justtalked about not being fulfilled
and knowing that there wassomething more to this Right.
So I was doing like you.
I was doing the work, everybodywas happy, I was good at what I
(24:34):
did.
You know, I was beast at how Ihandled it Right needed to do
something different so that myshow up came from an authentic
place, that my show up was notjust about what other people
wanted from me.
(24:54):
I think that's a that want andneed.
It wasn't what other peoplewanted from me, but it was me
understanding that who I really,authentically and truly am is
what people need from me, andthat's what kept the battle down
(25:16):
Whether people agreed, whetherthey didn't, whether they wanted
something other than how I waspositioned and my understanding
of why I was in the room.
It took the weight of all ofthat away, because if there was
(25:36):
conflict or if you weren'tpleased, it was no longer about
me searching myself to find outwhat I did wrong or did.
Did I say that wrong or do Ineed to do something else I was
able to put the responsibilityfor that lack of continuity in
that circumstance back on theperson.
(25:56):
I no longer had to hold theweight of other people's
identity.
Belinda Gaston (26:02):
Oh, that's good.
You no longer had to hold theweight of other people's
identity.
That's part of that freedom Ifelt like I experienced.
That's perfect, that's exactlywhat it?
Is.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (26:13):
And me owning who I am, me
understanding and really valuingwhat I brought to the table In
all of my idiosyncrasies.
Right, I laugh really loud.
That's just a part of it.
If you don't like loud laughterthen I might not be a part of
your tribe.
(26:34):
I am a direct communicator.
If that makes you uncomfortable, I knew that it wasn't my
responsibility to fix it.
Yes, responsibility to fix it.
Yes, my direct communication isa part of my assignment.
My ability to engage, the waythat I engage, is a part of my
(26:59):
assignment.
The prophetic lens that is on mylife, to be able to look at a
situation or a person or acircumstance and know that part
of that pathway breaks thingsdown and builds them back up
that's a part of my assignmentand I own that.
I can look somebody in the faceand say I'm direct, I am going
(27:21):
to analyze and share my thoughtsabout it.
If that is not what you need, Iam not the coach for you and be
fine if they accept it or ifthey don't, because I understand
.
This work that I have beendoing is to position me for the
assignment and I am and I own it.
(27:43):
Even the baggage I own.
Right, my idiosyncrasies I ownand I can tell you about them
girl, child.
Now let me tell you about thislittle piece of me.
I'm just going to tell you thisis what it is and I am okay and
I can say I am involving inthis area but right now, this is
(28:08):
it.
Belinda Gaston (28:08):
This is who you get, this is who I am.
This is what you're getting.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (28:11):
And, yes , I'm evolving in that space,
but it's owning it, yes, andjust breathing in the
understanding that I am purpose,if I want your audience to get
that me doing the personal workto become the greatest
expression of myself is theassignment, and how that
(28:34):
functions through the pathwaysthat God is directing me to walk
through, creates anothernarrative of authority and
anointing.
That can only come with mebeing authentically me.
I'm going to give you anexample.
When we moved here to Charlotte, me and my husband, my husband
had been here a little longerthan me and I was starting to
(28:55):
kind of go through differentthings of understanding and my
husband made a powerfulstatement to me because we're
definitely opposites, we havedifferent perspectives.
That's what makes us, you know,I just love our conversations
and he said, he said to me, andit brought me to a thought.
He said, stephanie, as youdecide with regards to the
religious context and the thingsthat have shaped you in your
(29:15):
religious space and who you areas a believer, have you ever
thought to question how you'repracticing your faith?
Is that you or is that pastor?
Wow, he says, is that reallyyou?
Because I had.
I think it was about fasting orsomething like that we were
talking about prayer and fasting, because she was a beast at it,
(29:37):
she could pray and fast forever, right, and I was struggling in
that space around time frameand stuff because we weren't at
the church.
We had moved to Charlotte andhe said but Stephanie, is that
you or is that pastor?
We can get so caught up on whatworks for other people that we
can adopt other people's ways ofbeing into our own life context
(29:58):
and we miss out on theauthenticity of building
relationship with God and thebeautiful rituals that make us
believers.
Belinda Gaston (30:07):
Wow, that's a great example.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (30:08):
Yes, Authenticity Finding your own
space.
Belinda Gaston (30:13):
I think that is where we'll stop.
I think that's a Selah moment,you know, taking a moment to
just and and breathing in thatpiece of really who.
I think we should title thisepisode who are you anyway?
I mean that's, that's theconversation.
(30:34):
I'd like to know if you haveany final thoughts or takeaways
that you'd like the listeningaudience to know about identity
and leadership.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (30:46):
Do the work, because your leadership
depends on it, your assignmentdepends on it.
Do the personal work and do notput the assignment or the work
before personal growth anddevelopment, because it is you
that are the gift, it is not theassignment.
Belinda Gaston (31:07):
I think that is our final thought.
Thank you so much, Dr Stephanie, for being here.
I don't know about youlisteners, but this has been
thought-provoking and I've heardDr Stephanie speak.
If you have not, Dr Stephanie,can you tell people how to
connect with you?
If you have anything coming upthat you'd like to share, can
you take a moment to share thatnow?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (31:29):
Yes, coming up.
I'm currently working on mybook and it's going to be called
Identity 12 Lessons toUnapologetically Own your
Uniqueness in a World thatDoesn't See it as Normal.
So I'm working on that.
Belinda Gaston (31:44):
Congratulations, congratulations.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (31:46):
Thank you.
That's going to be released,but you can reach, you know.
Connect with me on FacebookStephanie M Kirkland, and
LinkedIn Dr Stephanie M Kirkland.
Instagram Identity Dynamics orDr Stephanie M Kirkland.
I would love to connect.
Belinda Gaston (32:01):
Thank you and for our listeners, we will put
in the show notes of all of theinformation that Dr Stephanie
just said.
I highly recommend that youtake a look at her resources,
her website.
She does offer coaching forgroups and individually, so I
highly recommend it.
For me, the sessions I had withDr Stephanie were life changing
(32:23):
and so, dr Stephanie, I justwant to say thank you so much.
Thank you for your wisdom andfor your willingness, and it has
really been a pleasure speakingwith you, so thank you for
being here.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (32:35):
Thank you so much.
It is definitely an honor to bea part of your broadcast.
Belinda Gaston (32:39):
Thank you .Until next time.
We will see you on the Gracedto Lead podcast.
Again, thank you for listeningand make sure that you subscribe
and follow so that you can getour next and newest episodes.
Have a wonderful day.
Welcome to the Graced to Lead podcast.
I'm Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
If you are a Christian womanwho leads at work, at home, in
ministry or your own business,you are in the right place.
Here, you'll find encouragement, practical advice, and even a
little humor too.
We'll have some realconversations that will
challenge you and inspire you inall areas of your life.
(00:30):
So join me for this journey tobecome better leaders God's way.
It's a call for us to embraceGod's grace to lead even when we
feel unqualified.
So if that's you, you are inthe right place.
Welcome and let the journeybegin.
Welcome to the Graced to Leadpodcast.
(00:50):
Our guest is Dr StephanieKirkland.
Dr Stephanie is known as theidentity shaper.
She is the CEO and founder ofIdentity Dynamics, a leadership
development company thateducates on the crucial yet
widely overlooked impact ofidentity on professional and
organizational success.
Dr Kirkland has created aproprietary identity-centered
(01:14):
leadership framework to supportindividuals and organizations
that focus on things fromcommunication and adaptability
to team building and driving asustainable culture of equity.
She has 20 years of experiencein personal and professional
leadership development and adoctor of education from
Northeastern University, so DrKirkland knows exactly what
(01:37):
she's talking about.
I encourage you, as listeners,to go ahead and grab your pens,
your pencils, your digitalnote-taking devices as we dig
into this episode on identity inleadership.
So let's welcome Dr Stephanie.
Dr Stephanie, welcome to theGraced to Lead podcast.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (01:57):
Thank you so much.
I'm honored to be here and totalk to you, thank you.
Belinda Gaston (02:01):
We're going to go ahead and get started with
our discussion, because a lot oftimes, as leaders, we focus on
things like how do I lead well?
What do I need to change tomake myself a better leader?
Some of us are in positionswhere we are in executive
leadership in a corporate space,some are leading in a ministry,
and the one thing that we oftenoverlook is our identity, who
(02:25):
we are, and so I want us tostart there, dr Stephanie.
Let's talk a little bit aboutwhat we mean by leadership
identity, and then we'll talk alittle bit about why that's
important.
So can you tell our listenerswhat it means when we talk about
leadership identity?
When we talk about leadershipidentity?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (02:43):
Well, when we are talking about it, it
means that we are leveragingwho we are in the shaping and
the perspective and lens of howwe show up in our leadership.
That includes our leadershipphilosophy, how we engage other
people and what that looks like,as well as what is the impact
(03:03):
that I am trying to make and howam I trying to influence those
that I am responsible to lead.
So it is moving away fromoutdated leadership norms, ways
of looking at leadership onlythrough the lens of models or
prototypes, and then taking ouridentity out of the background
(03:28):
right, and then bringing it tothe foreground with regards to
what is that divine DNA that Godhas put on the inside of me?
What are those gifts, thosetalents and those abilities that
I am supposed to be using tocreate impact in my realm of
experience?
Because if we're depending onleadership norms and prototypes
(03:52):
and things that other people aretelling us about leadership and
our show up, we're missing outon the assignment right.
We're missing out on why we'rein this space in the first place
, and so it's reclaiming, it'salmost like a reclamation of
what and how am I supposed toreally be showing up here?
(04:15):
What does this mean to the bigpicture.
What does God say about theimpact that I've been created to
make?
How am I evaluating and lookingat my lived experience and my
healing and my growth anddevelopment and leveraging that
in my leadership?
Belinda Gaston (04:36):
And you know, I think it's interesting.
One of the reasons I was soexcited to have you on the show
is that I've not heard peopletalk about our divine giftings
in leadership as we look atourselves as leaders, and so for
so many women, they struggle inthe space of understanding who
they are, because there isreally a separation of kind of
(04:58):
the idea of who God made you tobe versus who the world says you
should be if you're in aspecific leadership position.
So if you are leading abusiness, this is how you should
be.
If you're leading in acorporate sector, this is how
you should be.
If you're leading in ministry,even this is how you should be.
And you were the first person Iheard that talked about that
(05:19):
kind of divine giftings, and soI want to ask if you could talk
a little bit more about whyunderstanding that divine
gifting and why understandingwho you are, your leadership
identity, why is that importantfor women who lead?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (05:37):
Because that is a part of purpose.
And we have been groomed,whether in the marketplace, in
secular circles or inministerial or religious circles
.
We have been taught prototypes,we have been taught roles and
responsibilities and we haveallowed those roles and
(05:59):
responsibilities to take theplace of our identity,
responsibilities to take theplace of our identity.
So, instead of me leveragingwho I am and allowing the roles
and responsibilities that I walkout to be a conduit for who I
am and what I bring to the table, we have put ourselves, our
identity, our divine DNA, as Ilike to call it, our gifts,
(06:23):
talents, abilities.
You know that there's ascripture in the Bible I can't
think of where it is right now,but it talks about train up a
child in the way he should goand when he is old.
But when we really look at thatcontext, in Amplified if you
look at the classic Amplified itsays train up a child in the
way that they are already bentand when they are old they will
(06:44):
not depart, and when they areold they will not depart.
And so, from our childhood, wehave been groomed to fit into
these roles and responsibilitiesand not have taken into
consideration who is this personand how is that person going to
fit in these roles andresponsibilities, actually
(07:08):
focusing in on who they are andhow they show up, so that the
purpose of who they are is nowbeing filtered through what I
call conduits?
Right, because who you are inan office setting is a conduit
for me.
It's a conduit for my purpose,my divine leaning, who I've been
called to be, who I am as amother, my who I am is the gift.
(07:32):
Right, I've been saying this andI keep you know, just kind of
speaking this out you are thegift, not the role and the
responsibility.
You are the gift, and the roleand the responsibility is
nothing but a pathway for thegift to shine through.
And when we stop and say, okay,these are roles and
(07:52):
responsibilities, these arethings that I walk out.
But I need to define out who amI, why am I here?
What does this mean?
And then we have to have theconversation is purpose is not
outside of me.
I am purpose.
Purpose is not something that Ifind.
It is me becoming the greatestexpression of myself, because
(08:14):
I'm the gift, because I have themessage.
And then everything else flowsin such a different way, because
the message that you're calledto speak the message your life
is called to speak now can speakthrough everything you touch,
then it doesn't matter how youshow up or what that means.
You are the gift, you are themessage, and your show up then
(08:39):
becomes the impactor that Godhas already created you to be in
the earth.
Belinda Gaston (08:45):
For my listeners .
I got a chance to do kind of amini course with Dr Kirkland as
part of her studies and thatconcept of you are the gift and
not associating myself as aleader to the position or the
roles that I have whether thatwas mother minister at the time,
(09:06):
associate director, whateverthat role was that I had I was
trying to conform into the roleinstead of understanding.
Listen who I am is what I needto focus on and that makes all
those roles as a mother, as awife, as those things, much
(09:26):
better.
And so I do say you know, ifyou're listening to this, you
might be thinking, well, I've, Idon't quite get it.
I want to kind of get a littlebit practical here, because I
think a lot of times what we dois we evaluate ourselves based
on what we think we should bedoing.
And what I'm hearing you say islisten first, you understand
(09:50):
who you are, understand thatyou're the gift, understand that
there's a purpose that God hasput in you, and then you
evaluate yourself based on thatversus what you're doing.
And so I'd really like to talka little bit about how does one,
if they're listening to thisand they're thinking, well, how
do I know if I'm having somechallenges in understanding my
(10:12):
identity?
Are there signs or are therethings that show up?
Because we don't know who weare, we don't understand our
leadership identity?
What are those things thatmight be the triggers that say,
wait, this might be an issue forme.
I might really need to focus inon my identity as a leader.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (10:33):
One of the triggers is not being
fulfilled and looking around,because that was my trigger,
that was my personal trigger.
I was doing a lot of things, Iwas leading in a lot of spaces,
I was in ministry, I was on thepraise team, I was an
entrepreneur, I was with afamily, I was a mother, I was a
(10:54):
wife, and I looked around and Isaid I have skill right and I
have roles and responsibilitiesand I do them well.
But everybody around me ishappy but me.
Everybody around me seems OKwith this, this journey that
we're on, and I know I haven'ttouched purpose.
(11:17):
So the first trigger is I'm notfulfilled.
I am doing what I'm doing anddoing it well, but I still feel
on the inside of me that thereis something missing and I have
yet to tap into what that is.
So the first trigger is notbeing fulfilled.
The second trigger is asking thequestion who am I?
(11:37):
Because when the roles andresponsibilities begin to shift
and move in your life or youfind yourself evolving and
transitioning to differentseasons of your life and the
first thing that comes to you iswhat am I supposed to be doing?
What do I like?
Why am I?
What is this about.
I don't understand what's goingon, because those roles and
(11:57):
responsibilities which have beenactually defining your show up
are starting to shift.
Things like there are women whoare now divorced, but your
identity was wife, right?
So I tell people all the time,if it can move, if the
identifier can leave, it's notwho you are.
Belinda Gaston (12:15):
It's not who you are.
I think we need to pause for asecond.
Say that again, if theidentifier can leave.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (12:24):
It's not who you are.
It's not who you are.
That's good Right.
So being so, if I'm, if one ofmy identifiers is wife, I can be
divorced.
I'm no longer a wife.
If I have children and nowthey're empty nest, I'm an empty
nester.
I am no longer.
I'm still a mother, but I'm nolonger that in my active
practice as a part of my dynamic, or I can lose my children.
(12:47):
You know what I'm saying.
It doesn't mean that that is nolonger or has not been a part
of your narrative, but it is notno longer an identifier, right?
If I'm a leader at church, ifI'm in ministry, if I've been
pastoring and now all of asudden I'm retired from
pastoring, that moved.
So that is not a representationof my identity and who I am.
(13:12):
It is a conduit that God usesin order to express the gifting
that I am, because I'm the gift,not the title, not the position
, not the role or theresponsibility.
Those are conduits, those areavenues that God uses to help me
show up in spaces the way thatI need, because the people in
(13:34):
those spaces need the messagethat I'm called to speak.
So those are not definers of me.
If the identifier can move, itis not who you are.
So those are two things rightthe movement of identifiers and
not being fulfilled.
Belinda Gaston (13:53):
I love that because I think it helps to put
a different perspective on howwe think of ourselves as women.
We often attach ourselves towhat we do, not who we are.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (14:05):
We've been told to do that.
Belinda Gaston (14:07):
Starting with children.
Right, when you're a child,that's kind of how it starts for
girls.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (14:12):
You've been getting a baby doll that's
motherhood.
You've been given a kitchen set.
That's cooking and providing.
We're groomed Right, and sothat grooming creates narratives
that we are now trying to playout.
We'll be at church and you're asingle person and the first
thing somebody asks you is whyyou not marry, as if singlehood
(14:33):
is not a part of the dynamic andthe lived experience, or
marriage being the only thingthat you're called to be to
another person.
You see what I'm saying, sowe're grooming people to put
themselves in the background andallow roles and
responsibilities to define theirshow up.
Belinda Gaston (14:53):
Yes, and we've talked about what identity means
in leadership, and we've talkedabout signs that women may
experience that say, wait aminute, maybe I don't know my
identity as a leader.
I'd like for you to share alittle bit about some practical
steps that women in leadershipcan take to understand better
(15:17):
who they are as leaders.
How do they so?
I've now discovered you knowsomething's off here.
What can I do to startunderstanding better my identity
as a leader?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (15:29):
So I usually start with helping
leaders to develop theiridentity plan is what I call it.
So we even start back to sowhat are your beliefs?
Because identity includes a lotof pieces, right?
So what are your beliefs,whether that's the investigation
and the self-awareness of thosepersonal and those familial or
(15:49):
even religious beliefs right?
What are they?
How have they shaped?
You being aware of just thesimple question is that you, or
is that what you've been taughtabout that perspective of belief
?
Right?
That's important.
What is your accepted truth?
And I mean when I say acceptedtruth, what really is your and
(16:13):
I'm gonna use this wordapplicable understanding of your
beliefs?
Are they just things that youhave owned because you've seen
them work in other people'slives, or are they things and
principles and concepts thatyou're actually using to move
your life and who you are andhow you show up forward Values
right.
What are your values?
(16:33):
We begin to talk about thatValues are the boundaries of
beliefs, right.
What are your values?
We begin to talk about thatValues are the boundaries of
beliefs, right.
It helps us to make sure thatwhat it is that we have said to
be our truth, that now I havethese boundaries or ways of
being things I will and won't dothat are connected to that your
brain framing, looking back atthe patterns that have been
created over your livedexperience, that you're now
(16:55):
experiencing as you're livingand going through situations and
circumstances.
You know, the man of God saidit so vividly.
He was like you know, and Inever understood why Paul said
that.
Where he said he enjoyschallenge, I'm like who enjoys
challenge?
But really, you know, whenchallenges come or situations
and circumstances come into ourlives, it gives us an
(17:16):
opportunity to be exposed towhat is really our accepted
truth, because our brain, theway our brain works you know I
love that neuroscience stuff Ourbrain holds on to the
information that has gone acrossour lived experience and is how
we are making decisions.
It is how we're showing up, aremaking decisions.
It is how we're showing up andwe wonder sometimes why am I
(17:37):
stuck?
Why do I desire to do something?
But I end up living outsomething else, out of habit,
and it's because your brain isactually processing what it is
that you have already generatedto be truth for you.
You might have a truth in yourconscious mind, right, something
that you have accepted or havelearned, but because it's not an
(17:58):
applied truth, it's not a partof your decision-making and
processing.
So the self-awareness workhelps you to slow down
Leadership.
Women aren't slow, theyeverywhere, they popping,
flipping, booping, booping.
So we are not even slow enoughto pay attention to how we're
engaging the world around us.
And so that process of doingthat because what are your
(18:20):
cultural definitions?
What is around that has shapedeven your cultural lens, the
norms that you're a part of,whether it's gender, race,
verbal cues, body language, thecharacteristics that make you
who you are.
So I usually tell people wehave to start there.
And then, when you begin to dothat investigation, you can ask
(18:42):
yourself the question am I goingto keep it or do I need to get
rid of it?
It's like being, I telleverybody, it's like being an
archaeologist on a dig right,you become the archaeologist of
your life, of your livedexperience, because now you need
to make a pivot, you need togrow, you need to evolve in a
way, because there is for all ofus, as women of God, something
(19:05):
calling on us, something pullingus in a direction that we need
to go.
Don't know where thatnecessarily is leading.
That work, that preparation forwhat is to come, is us doing
(19:27):
that self-evaluation around ouridentity, who we are, and begin
to ask the question who do Ineed to become for where I'm
going and is who I am withregards to my beliefs, my values
, my accepted truths, theframings that have taken place,
the norms that I have acceptedto be my own.
Are those things going tosupport me and where I'm going?
Because if they're not and youcontinue to stay in that space,
(19:47):
you will stay in the habits andbehaviors of that context.
So it's all that first step isself-awareness.
Belinda Gaston (19:55):
And I love this idea of who do I need to be to
get to where I'm going.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (20:03):
Yes.
Belinda Gaston (20:03):
Because that's been designed, orchestrated by
God, right.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (20:07):
So if God?
Belinda Gaston (20:07):
says this is where you need to be.
How do I get there?
But I'm putting myself in theposition of some of our
listeners thinking, well, thissounds really great, but who has
time for all of this Like?
This sounds very time consuming.
What would you say to a womanwho's like I'm too busy?
I just told you I have allthese things I'm juggling and
(20:27):
I'm leading in all of thesespaces.
I don't have time to do thework to put into understanding
my identity.
I'm just going to keep doingwhat I'm doing.
What would you say to thatwoman?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (20:39):
I would say to her what else do you have
time for other than yourpurpose?
What do you mean?
You don't have time.
We are the creator of ourschedules, so nobody made you
have that schedule, but you.
So if you made it, you canchange it.
And what else do you have timefor other than your assignment?
(21:02):
That's period.
What else do you have time forother than what you were created
to be and the message your lifehas been called to speak in the
earth has been called to speakin the earth.
What else do you have time for?
But to find out why you arehere and what that message is.
If you don't do the work thatyou're called to do in the earth
(21:28):
, and you tell me that you'retoo busy to reposition yourself,
to be in alignment with theassignment on your life, I have
a problem with that.
Belinda Gaston (21:42):
And I think we all should have a problem with
that, and I think busyness isone of the biggest challenges to
doing the work, and in a futureepisode we're going to talk
about being unbusy, going frombusyness to being unbusy.
So if you're listening, makesure you come back and listen to
that episode.
You know I'm going to ask onekind of last question and I'll
allow you to share your finalthoughts.
(22:03):
I'll share with our audiencethat one of the things I was
most surprised about goingthrough working with you
individually is how much freedomI got after I understood wait a
minute, this is who I am, and Ididn't really.
I think I probably need toschedule another session, dr
(22:23):
Stephanie, because I feel like Ineed to do some more work but
just the uncovering of who I amand why I have tendencies that I
have really been suppressinghonestly as a leader to say
things a certain way, do thingsa certain way and see things a
certain way.
It provided a different levelof freedom and after our initial
(22:45):
work I got promoted.
So that was so.
You know.
Now I'm associate vicepresident and you're supposed to
say that with some kind oftenor in your voice.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (22:53):
But what ?
Belinda Gaston (22:53):
I find is that because of that work.
When I say freedom, what I meanis when I come into a space now,
before I would come in reallyand I'm going to be transparent
here, listeners I came intospaces trying to justify why I
should be in really.
And I'm going to be transparenthere, listeners I came into
spaces trying to justify why Ishould be in the space.
I came ready to be defensiveabout why I was in a room, why I
(23:16):
was in a position, why I made adecision, and understanding my
identity, my leadership identityin the work that I did with Dr
Stephanie, really helped meunderstand that I didn't have to
have that stance, and so when Icome into a space now, I come
in authentically as who I am,and the time and the effort and
(23:37):
the energy it took to defend andto be that like proving myself.
With that gone, I now have thetime to be creative, I have the
time to lead well, I have thetime to use more empathy, and I
also found that people seem tobe inspired by that, and so I'd
(23:59):
like for you to talk about whyunderstanding your leadership
identity really is important asit relates to your calling.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (24:11):
But I just, I truly believe with all
of my heart that part of myjourney was this experience
where I wanted to know thisquestion right.
You know, I originally justtalked about not being fulfilled
and knowing that there wassomething more to this Right.
So I was doing like you.
I was doing the work, everybodywas happy, I was good at what I
(24:34):
did.
You know, I was beast at how Ihandled it Right needed to do
something different so that myshow up came from an authentic
place, that my show up was notjust about what other people
wanted from me.
(24:54):
I think that's a that want andneed.
It wasn't what other peoplewanted from me, but it was me
understanding that who I really,authentically and truly am is
what people need from me, andthat's what kept the battle down
(25:16):
Whether people agreed, whetherthey didn't, whether they wanted
something other than how I waspositioned and my understanding
of why I was in the room.
It took the weight of all ofthat away, because if there was
(25:36):
conflict or if you weren'tpleased, it was no longer about
me searching myself to find outwhat I did wrong or did.
Did I say that wrong or do Ineed to do something else I was
able to put the responsibilityfor that lack of continuity in
that circumstance back on theperson.
(25:56):
I no longer had to hold theweight of other people's
identity.
Belinda Gaston (26:02):
Oh, that's good.
You no longer had to hold theweight of other people's
identity.
That's part of that freedom Ifelt like I experienced.
That's perfect, that's exactlywhat it?
Is.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (26:13):
And me owning who I am, me
understanding and really valuingwhat I brought to the table In
all of my idiosyncrasies.
Right, I laugh really loud.
That's just a part of it.
If you don't like loud laughterthen I might not be a part of
your tribe.
(26:34):
I am a direct communicator.
If that makes you uncomfortable, I knew that it wasn't my
responsibility to fix it.
Yes, responsibility to fix it.
Yes, my direct communication isa part of my assignment.
My ability to engage, the waythat I engage, is a part of my
(26:59):
assignment.
The prophetic lens that is on mylife, to be able to look at a
situation or a person or acircumstance and know that part
of that pathway breaks thingsdown and builds them back up
that's a part of my assignmentand I own that.
I can look somebody in the faceand say I'm direct, I am going
(27:21):
to analyze and share my thoughtsabout it.
If that is not what you need, Iam not the coach for you and be
fine if they accept it or ifthey don't, because I understand
.
This work that I have beendoing is to position me for the
assignment and I am and I own it.
(27:43):
Even the baggage I own.
Right, my idiosyncrasies I ownand I can tell you about them
girl, child.
Now let me tell you about thislittle piece of me.
I'm just going to tell you thisis what it is and I am okay and
I can say I am involving inthis area but right now, this is
(28:08):
it.
Belinda Gaston (28:08):
This is who you get, this is who I am.
This is what you're getting.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (28:11):
And, yes , I'm evolving in that space,
but it's owning it, yes, andjust breathing in the
understanding that I am purpose,if I want your audience to get
that me doing the personal workto become the greatest
expression of myself is theassignment, and how that
(28:34):
functions through the pathwaysthat God is directing me to walk
through, creates anothernarrative of authority and
anointing.
That can only come with mebeing authentically me.
I'm going to give you anexample.
When we moved here to Charlotte, me and my husband, my husband
had been here a little longerthan me and I was starting to
(28:55):
kind of go through differentthings of understanding and my
husband made a powerfulstatement to me because we're
definitely opposites, we havedifferent perspectives.
That's what makes us, you know,I just love our conversations
and he said, he said to me, andit brought me to a thought.
He said, stephanie, as youdecide with regards to the
religious context and the thingsthat have shaped you in your
(29:15):
religious space and who you areas a believer, have you ever
thought to question how you'repracticing your faith?
Is that you or is that pastor?
Wow, he says, is that reallyyou?
Because I had.
I think it was about fasting orsomething like that we were
talking about prayer and fasting, because she was a beast at it,
(29:37):
she could pray and fast forever, right, and I was struggling in
that space around time frameand stuff because we weren't at
the church.
We had moved to Charlotte andhe said but Stephanie, is that
you or is that pastor?
We can get so caught up on whatworks for other people that we
can adopt other people's ways ofbeing into our own life context
(29:58):
and we miss out on theauthenticity of building
relationship with God and thebeautiful rituals that make us
believers.
Belinda Gaston (30:07):
Wow, that's a great example.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (30:08):
Yes, Authenticity Finding your own
space.
Belinda Gaston (30:13):
I think that is where we'll stop.
I think that's a Selah moment,you know, taking a moment to
just and and breathing in thatpiece of really who.
I think we should title thisepisode who are you anyway?
I mean that's, that's theconversation.
(30:34):
I'd like to know if you haveany final thoughts or takeaways
that you'd like the listeningaudience to know about identity
and leadership.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (30:46):
Do the work, because your leadership
depends on it, your assignmentdepends on it.
Do the personal work and do notput the assignment or the work
before personal growth anddevelopment, because it is you
that are the gift, it is not theassignment.
Belinda Gaston (31:07):
I think that is our final thought.
Thank you so much, Dr Stephanie, for being here.
I don't know about youlisteners, but this has been
thought-provoking and I've heardDr Stephanie speak.
If you have not, Dr Stephanie,can you tell people how to
connect with you?
If you have anything coming upthat you'd like to share, can
you take a moment to share thatnow?
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (31:29):
Yes, coming up.
I'm currently working on mybook and it's going to be called
Identity 12 Lessons toUnapologetically Own your
Uniqueness in a World thatDoesn't See it as Normal.
So I'm working on that.
Belinda Gaston (31:44):
Congratulations, congratulations.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (31:46):
Thank you.
That's going to be released,but you can reach, you know.
Connect with me on FacebookStephanie M Kirkland, and
LinkedIn Dr Stephanie M Kirkland.
Instagram Identity Dynamics orDr Stephanie M Kirkland.
I would love to connect.
Belinda Gaston (32:01):
Thank you and for our listeners, we will put
in the show notes of all of theinformation that Dr Stephanie
just said.
I highly recommend that youtake a look at her resources,
her website.
She does offer coaching forgroups and individually, so I
highly recommend it.
For me, the sessions I had withDr Stephanie were life changing
(32:23):
and so, dr Stephanie, I justwant to say thank you so much.
Thank you for your wisdom andfor your willingness, and it has
really been a pleasure speakingwith you, so thank you for
being here.
Dr. Stephanie Kirkland (32:35):
Thank you so much.
It is definitely an honor to bea part of your broadcast.
Belinda Gaston (32:39):
Thank you .Until next time.
We will see you on the Gracedto Lead podcast.
Again, thank you for listeningand make sure that you subscribe
and follow so that you can getour next and newest episodes.
Have a wonderful day.
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