April 24, 2025 • 13 mins
Has perfectionism ever kept you from moving forward? In this vulnerable Season 2 opener, I pull back the curtain on my own struggle with perfectionism that delayed the podcast's return. Despite previously preaching "progress over perfection," I found myself caught in an all-too-familiar trap—comparing my current self not to others, but to my past success.
This comparison paralysis affects countless leaders. After experiencing success (which often propels us into leadership positions), we become hyperaware of maintaining or exceeding those standards. Questions like "What if it doesn't work like it did last time?" or "What if people respond differently?" can leave us frozen in place rather than moving forward. Coupled with decision fatigue from mentally rehearsing countless scenarios, we can find ourselves stuck in analysis paralysis while opportunities pass us by.
The breakthrough came when I realized two powerful truths: first, staying focused on future possibilities rather than past performance creates freedom and momentum; second, "you are not responsible for other people's expectations." This season brings exciting new elements—video content, downloadable resources, compelling interviews, and a growing Grace to Lead community. Throughout it all, we'll continue providing transparent conversations with practical tools for faith-driven leaders. Whether you lead in boardrooms, churches, or homes, join us weekly as we explore how to lead with God's grace in every aspect of our lives. Have topics you'd like to see covered or questions about leadership? Connect with us and let's grow together!
Please subscribe to our mailing list to stay connected and get updates! Thanks for listening to the Graced to Lead Podcast.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Belinda Gaston (00:00):
You're listening to episode one, season two of
the Graced to Lead podcast, andtoday I'm going to talk about
what to expect on season two,for all of our podcast episodes,
but also a few challenges I had, as it relates to perfectionism
and my inability to make somedecisions for this season, for
(00:27):
this season.
So if you are a leader and youare in that spot where you may
be having some challenges,making decisions or even
struggling with perfectionismmaybe you're thinking about your
successes that once was,instead of what's in your
present right now then you'lldefinitely want to keep
listening.
Enjoy listening.
(00:53):
Enjoy.
Welcome to the Grace to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
If you are a woman who leads inthe boardroom, the church or
your home, you are in the rightplace.
On this podcast, you'll hearreal conversations, practical
insights and biblicalencouragement to help you lead
only and walk confidently inyour God-given purpose.
So are you ready?
Let the journey begin.
(01:14):
Welcome to the Grace to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston and welcometo season two.
My intention was to start sooner.
My intention was to have agreat year and I planned out all
these episodes, but we're late.
(01:34):
Now let me tell you why we'relate.
There are a couple of thingsthat weren't quite right, and so
, as much as I talked aboutperfection and last season we
talked about progress overperfection I got caught in the
perfection trap.
I was supposed to have newmusic.
My son was working on new music.
I was really excited to sharewith you all.
Hey, my son, the collegestudent music producer, gave me
(01:57):
some new music and his classstudies got really busy and he
wasn't able to do it in the timethat I needed him to do, so
that was the first thing.
Then I started thinking aboutoh, I need to create better
content this season.
Right, because last season wehad what I think is a successful
season.
This season I'm expecting us togrow, and so there were things
(02:19):
that I wanted to do and newthings I wanted to add, and it
just didn't seem to be working,and so we were late, and so
today I want to talk about thatas an introduction to season two
.
Listen, we're starting seasontwo out with a bang.
We're going to be adding somevideo content this season, so
that's exciting.
But let me tell you about thiswhole perfection thing.
(02:41):
That's what we're going to talkabout today really quickly.
Is perfection Perfection?
I know that we talked aboutlast season how important it is
to keep moving over perfection,but can we talk about how, as
leaders, sometimes, especiallyif you've had some success, that
that thing that you thought youwere over with for me it was
(03:01):
perfection can come back, and soI want to talk about that a
little bit.
There were a couple reasons whyI think this perfection trap
caught me, even after doing 20,what I think are successful
episodes, knowing how this allworks.
I've been here, I've done that.
I found my rhythm, I'm likecomfortable with the things that
I'm doing.
(03:21):
Why does it seem likeperfection held me back this
time?
This happens to leaders all thetime, so let me tell you what
was going on for me.
The first thing is comparison.
Now listen, I know we havetalked about comparison over and
over again, but I'm not talkingabout this time comparison of
me with other people.
(03:42):
I'm pretty comfortable now withwhere I am and who I am.
Even how I show up, like youknow, locks pink lipstick in my
t-shirt.
You know that's how I am rightnow and I'm comfortable with
that.
But the thing that I wascomparing myself with was me.
Listen, as leaders, if you havehad success before.
If something's gone well beforeand all of a sudden you find
(04:05):
yourself in the next season, inthe next thing, it's easy to
compare the now to the then,right.
And so what I found myselfdoing was comparing what I
thought would happen now to whatwas I thought exceedingly well
then.
And that happens.
(04:26):
And, as a leader, when we areleading people, when we're
leading in specific areas,whether you're leading in your
business or corporate spaces ifyou have had one success and
typically what happens as aleader is, you have had success
because that's how you got thereright.
You were promoted because ofthe success.
You started the businessbecause you kept getting people
(04:48):
wanting your advice.
You started the ministrybecause God called you into it,
and so something has happenedthat has been successful to get
you to this place.
And you find yourself comparingyourself to the then.
What if it doesn't work like itdid the last time?
Well, the last time I did this,so maybe I should do it this
way.
Well, what if people thinkdifferently this time than they
(05:10):
did last time?
What if the people I'm leadingrespond differently this time
than they did last time?
All those things become acomparison and it can keep you
from moving forward, right, andso that was one of the reasons
that this podcast was late.
I started thinking about, well,what if I need to be able to do
it differently than last time?
(05:31):
Right, or I did it this way andthis worked, and changing it up
it might fail.
Those are real talk.
Those are things that I wasthinking about.
So that was the one thing.
The second thing is decisionfatigue.
We talked about this the firstseason, so listen.
If you are listening to theGrace to Lead podcast and you
did not catch the first season,I need you to go back and listen
(05:52):
to those episodes.
You can listen on Apple, onSpotify, on I put them all up on
YouTube now.
You can listen on Google,wherever you get your podcast.
This decision fatigue is realbecause what started to happen
is, as I was comparing myself tome, right, I started trying to
figure out like mull over almostmy decisions over and over
(06:16):
again.
I actually started replaying inmy head each scenario of what
could happen, right, what couldhappen if I did this?
What could happen if I did this?
What could happen if I did that?
It was ridiculous and, as aresult, I just sat and great
things have been happeningaround me.
Progress is happening in otherareas, but for this particular
(06:37):
project, I was stuck, standingstill, and so wait, let me tell
you some ways to get over this.
So let's go back to comparisonfor a second.
Let me just tell you this Iencourage you to free yourself
from thinking about whathappened in the past.
There's this saying that says,like my only competition is me,
(06:59):
or something like that it'sthere's no competition but me.
I'm my own worst competition.
All this kind of stuff but me.
I'm my own worst competition,all this kind of stuff.
The reality is that if you area woman of faith and you have
found yourself in a seasonthat's different from the
previous season, it's reallyeasy to compare yourself to the
season that was and that's atrap of the enemy right.
(07:22):
And so if you find yourself inthat comparison of thinking what
used to be mourning, what wasthinking about how to top what
used to be, I want you to breakthe cycle by staying in the now.
What I did to move forward isthink about the possibilities.
This may not be the samepodcast season as last season,
(07:44):
but there's a possibility thatthis different thing could be
greater.
This different thing could bemore enjoyable.
This different thing may teachme something about myself that I
didn't know, and so, instead offocusing on the past, I wanted
to focus on the future, andthat's what I encourage you to
do.
If you find yourself in a placewhere you can't seem to make a
(08:04):
decision right, you're mullingover, and most of the time when
you're in this place, youalready know what to do.
You've already prayed about it.
God has already put in yourheart this is the step, but it's
really more about our faith inGod, our faith in ourselves, our
(08:26):
belief system that holds us inthis place of well, I have to
have it just right, and I can'tmove, and so the easiest way to
get over that is just to dosomething immediately.
I am recording this podcastright now.
It's about six in the morning.
I actually put my makeup onthis morning at least the best I
(08:46):
could to get up and get dressedand do this podcast, and it was
because I got up and I saidenough is enough.
I have interviews alreadyrecorded for this season.
These are the solo episodesthat I needed to get done, and I
just decided to get it done,and so here's a step If you feel
(09:06):
like you're in decision fatigue, take one of the options that
you think is the best option andjust move quickly.
Moving in obedience quickly, itbegins to shake up the momentum
for you.
It creates more momentum foryou, but it also shakes some
things up, and so I want toencourage you to do that.
(09:27):
The other thing that may beholding you back is unrealistic
expectations not of myself, butget this.
I was trying to figure out whaty'all wanted as a listener.
What are your expectations forseason two?
Right, as a listener, what dopeople expect and how can I meet
those expectations?
I had to tell myself girl, stopListen.
(09:49):
I can't tell you what you'rethinking and you can't tell me
what I'm thinking.
So all of this focus I had onwhat people were expecting was
ridiculous.
It's the same thing in ourleadership journeys too.
When you're leading a team ofpeople, when you're leading a
group or projects, there's anunspoken rule that the customers
(10:10):
are raised right, we areleading, we're servant leaders,
and all of that is true.
I don't think the customer isalways right, but I do think
that we are servant leaders.
But there's also a point whereyou have to understand that you
can't read minds.
You aren't responsible forother people's expectations.
Can I say that again?
You are not responsible forother people's expectations, and
(10:34):
so free yourself from that.
We're not responsible for howpeople respond to what we do.
We're not responsible for otherpeople's perceptions or
perspectives of a situation.
We're not responsible for howother people feel.
Right, we've got it all wrong.
And, as leaders, if we canembrace that, it helps our
leadership journey, but it alsohelps us to move forward, and so
(10:57):
this is season two.
Y'all what you can expect thisseason is that we're adding some
video content this season.
That's exciting.
Eventually, we're gonna havesome new music.
I'm excited about that too.
We have some great interviewslined up.
I've already recorded some.
They are amazing.
So you'll have some interviews.
You'll have some solo episodes.
(11:18):
You'll have some video.
You'll have some solo episodes.
You'll have some video content.
I'm also going to be giving yousome tools and resources this
season so you'll be able todownload those and take the
information from the episode anduse that, and I'm also going to
be encouraging you.
I want us to have a Graced toLead community where we can
engage with one another, wherethere are topics that you may
want to discuss or people youmay want to hear from that.
(11:39):
You can let me know and we canencourage and grow together.
So that's what to expect.
We'll still have our every weekepisodes, so please come back
every week.
We're on Spotify, applePodcasts, google I think it's
Google Play on YouTube, so youcan find us, grace to Lead, on
those platforms and we are goingto have transparent
(12:02):
conversation with practicaltools and tips for how you can
continue to lead with God'sgrace.
Listen, this is about how weincorporate our faith in what we
do, and while this firstepisode I didn't talk a lot
about God, I didn't talk a lotabout the Bible.
This is still for those womenwho are believers, who have
faith and want to integratetheir faith and how they lead.
(12:24):
So I hope that you'll come backfor our next episode next week.
This has just been a briefoverview of the next season.
I'm excited about season two.
Listen, tell your friends, tellyour leadership girlfriends to
come on.
There's some great thingshappening on Graced to Lead and
you can always connect with us.
Remember you can get on ourmailing list.
(12:45):
I won't spam you, I promise,but it'll give you a way to stay
updated.
Remember, you can connect withme and the Grace to Lead podcast
, so that you can stay updatedon what's new, what's happening.
This is going to be a greatseason.
Buckle up buttercup, I thinkthat's what they say.
Buckle up buttercup, becausethis is going to be great Until
we meet again.
Remember, you are indeed graceto lead.
(13:08):
Bye-bye.
You're listening to episode one, season two of
the Graced to Lead podcast, andtoday I'm going to talk about
what to expect on season two,for all of our podcast episodes,
but also a few challenges I had, as it relates to perfectionism
and my inability to make somedecisions for this season, for
(00:27):
this season.
So if you are a leader and youare in that spot where you may
be having some challenges,making decisions or even
struggling with perfectionismmaybe you're thinking about your
successes that once was,instead of what's in your
present right now then you'lldefinitely want to keep
listening.
Enjoy listening.
(00:53):
Enjoy.
Welcome to the Grace to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
If you are a woman who leads inthe boardroom, the church or
your home, you are in the rightplace.
On this podcast, you'll hearreal conversations, practical
insights and biblicalencouragement to help you lead
only and walk confidently inyour God-given purpose.
So are you ready?
Let the journey begin.
(01:14):
Welcome to the Grace to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston and welcometo season two.
My intention was to start sooner.
My intention was to have agreat year and I planned out all
these episodes, but we're late.
(01:34):
Now let me tell you why we'relate.
There are a couple of thingsthat weren't quite right, and so
, as much as I talked aboutperfection and last season we
talked about progress overperfection I got caught in the
perfection trap.
I was supposed to have newmusic.
My son was working on new music.
I was really excited to sharewith you all.
Hey, my son, the collegestudent music producer, gave me
(01:57):
some new music and his classstudies got really busy and he
wasn't able to do it in the timethat I needed him to do, so
that was the first thing.
Then I started thinking aboutoh, I need to create better
content this season.
Right, because last season wehad what I think is a successful
season.
This season I'm expecting us togrow, and so there were things
(02:19):
that I wanted to do and newthings I wanted to add, and it
just didn't seem to be working,and so we were late, and so
today I want to talk about thatas an introduction to season two
.
Listen, we're starting seasontwo out with a bang.
We're going to be adding somevideo content this season, so
that's exciting.
But let me tell you about thiswhole perfection thing.
(02:41):
That's what we're going to talkabout today really quickly.
Is perfection Perfection?
I know that we talked aboutlast season how important it is
to keep moving over perfection,but can we talk about how, as
leaders, sometimes, especiallyif you've had some success, that
that thing that you thought youwere over with for me it was
(03:01):
perfection can come back, and soI want to talk about that a
little bit.
There were a couple reasons whyI think this perfection trap
caught me, even after doing 20,what I think are successful
episodes, knowing how this allworks.
I've been here, I've done that.
I found my rhythm, I'm likecomfortable with the things that
I'm doing.
(03:21):
Why does it seem likeperfection held me back this
time?
This happens to leaders all thetime, so let me tell you what
was going on for me.
The first thing is comparison.
Now listen, I know we havetalked about comparison over and
over again, but I'm not talkingabout this time comparison of
me with other people.
(03:42):
I'm pretty comfortable now withwhere I am and who I am.
Even how I show up, like youknow, locks pink lipstick in my
t-shirt.
You know that's how I am rightnow and I'm comfortable with
that.
But the thing that I wascomparing myself with was me.
Listen, as leaders, if you havehad success before.
If something's gone well beforeand all of a sudden you find
(04:05):
yourself in the next season, inthe next thing, it's easy to
compare the now to the then,right.
And so what I found myselfdoing was comparing what I
thought would happen now to whatwas I thought exceedingly well
then.
And that happens.
(04:26):
And, as a leader, when we areleading people, when we're
leading in specific areas,whether you're leading in your
business or corporate spaces ifyou have had one success and
typically what happens as aleader is, you have had success
because that's how you got thereright.
You were promoted because ofthe success.
You started the businessbecause you kept getting people
(04:48):
wanting your advice.
You started the ministrybecause God called you into it,
and so something has happenedthat has been successful to get
you to this place.
And you find yourself comparingyourself to the then.
What if it doesn't work like itdid the last time?
Well, the last time I did this,so maybe I should do it this
way.
Well, what if people thinkdifferently this time than they
(05:10):
did last time?
What if the people I'm leadingrespond differently this time
than they did last time?
All those things become acomparison and it can keep you
from moving forward, right, andso that was one of the reasons
that this podcast was late.
I started thinking about, well,what if I need to be able to do
it differently than last time?
(05:31):
Right, or I did it this way andthis worked, and changing it up
it might fail.
Those are real talk.
Those are things that I wasthinking about.
So that was the one thing.
The second thing is decisionfatigue.
We talked about this the firstseason, so listen.
If you are listening to theGrace to Lead podcast and you
did not catch the first season,I need you to go back and listen
(05:52):
to those episodes.
You can listen on Apple, onSpotify, on I put them all up on
YouTube now.
You can listen on Google,wherever you get your podcast.
This decision fatigue is realbecause what started to happen
is, as I was comparing myself tome, right, I started trying to
figure out like mull over almostmy decisions over and over
(06:16):
again.
I actually started replaying inmy head each scenario of what
could happen, right, what couldhappen if I did this?
What could happen if I did this?
What could happen if I did that?
It was ridiculous and, as aresult, I just sat and great
things have been happeningaround me.
Progress is happening in otherareas, but for this particular
(06:37):
project, I was stuck, standingstill, and so wait, let me tell
you some ways to get over this.
So let's go back to comparisonfor a second.
Let me just tell you this Iencourage you to free yourself
from thinking about whathappened in the past.
There's this saying that says,like my only competition is me,
(06:59):
or something like that it'sthere's no competition but me.
I'm my own worst competition.
All this kind of stuff but me.
I'm my own worst competition,all this kind of stuff.
The reality is that if you area woman of faith and you have
found yourself in a seasonthat's different from the
previous season, it's reallyeasy to compare yourself to the
season that was and that's atrap of the enemy right.
(07:22):
And so if you find yourself inthat comparison of thinking what
used to be mourning, what wasthinking about how to top what
used to be, I want you to breakthe cycle by staying in the now.
What I did to move forward isthink about the possibilities.
This may not be the samepodcast season as last season,
(07:44):
but there's a possibility thatthis different thing could be
greater.
This different thing could bemore enjoyable.
This different thing may teachme something about myself that I
didn't know, and so, instead offocusing on the past, I wanted
to focus on the future, andthat's what I encourage you to
do.
If you find yourself in a placewhere you can't seem to make a
(08:04):
decision right, you're mullingover, and most of the time when
you're in this place, youalready know what to do.
You've already prayed about it.
God has already put in yourheart this is the step, but it's
really more about our faith inGod, our faith in ourselves, our
(08:26):
belief system that holds us inthis place of well, I have to
have it just right, and I can'tmove, and so the easiest way to
get over that is just to dosomething immediately.
I am recording this podcastright now.
It's about six in the morning.
I actually put my makeup onthis morning at least the best I
(08:46):
could to get up and get dressedand do this podcast, and it was
because I got up and I saidenough is enough.
I have interviews alreadyrecorded for this season.
These are the solo episodesthat I needed to get done, and I
just decided to get it done,and so here's a step If you feel
(09:06):
like you're in decision fatigue, take one of the options that
you think is the best option andjust move quickly.
Moving in obedience quickly, itbegins to shake up the momentum
for you.
It creates more momentum foryou, but it also shakes some
things up, and so I want toencourage you to do that.
(09:27):
The other thing that may beholding you back is unrealistic
expectations not of myself, butget this.
I was trying to figure out whaty'all wanted as a listener.
What are your expectations forseason two?
Right, as a listener, what dopeople expect and how can I meet
those expectations?
I had to tell myself girl, stopListen.
(09:49):
I can't tell you what you'rethinking and you can't tell me
what I'm thinking.
So all of this focus I had onwhat people were expecting was
ridiculous.
It's the same thing in ourleadership journeys too.
When you're leading a team ofpeople, when you're leading a
group or projects, there's anunspoken rule that the customers
(10:10):
are raised right, we areleading, we're servant leaders,
and all of that is true.
I don't think the customer isalways right, but I do think
that we are servant leaders.
But there's also a point whereyou have to understand that you
can't read minds.
You aren't responsible forother people's expectations.
Can I say that again?
You are not responsible forother people's expectations, and
(10:34):
so free yourself from that.
We're not responsible for howpeople respond to what we do.
We're not responsible for otherpeople's perceptions or
perspectives of a situation.
We're not responsible for howother people feel.
Right, we've got it all wrong.
And, as leaders, if we canembrace that, it helps our
leadership journey, but it alsohelps us to move forward, and so
(10:57):
this is season two.
Y'all what you can expect thisseason is that we're adding some
video content this season.
That's exciting.
Eventually, we're gonna havesome new music.
I'm excited about that too.
We have some great interviewslined up.
I've already recorded some.
They are amazing.
So you'll have some interviews.
You'll have some solo episodes.
(11:18):
You'll have some video.
You'll have some solo episodes.
You'll have some video content.
I'm also going to be giving yousome tools and resources this
season so you'll be able todownload those and take the
information from the episode anduse that, and I'm also going to
be encouraging you.
I want us to have a Graced toLead community where we can
engage with one another, wherethere are topics that you may
want to discuss or people youmay want to hear from that.
(11:39):
You can let me know and we canencourage and grow together.
So that's what to expect.
We'll still have our every weekepisodes, so please come back
every week.
We're on Spotify, applePodcasts, google I think it's
Google Play on YouTube, so youcan find us, grace to Lead, on
those platforms and we are goingto have transparent
(12:02):
conversation with practicaltools and tips for how you can
continue to lead with God'sgrace.
Listen, this is about how weincorporate our faith in what we
do, and while this firstepisode I didn't talk a lot
about God, I didn't talk a lotabout the Bible.
This is still for those womenwho are believers, who have
faith and want to integratetheir faith and how they lead.
(12:24):
So I hope that you'll come backfor our next episode next week.
This has just been a briefoverview of the next season.
I'm excited about season two.
Listen, tell your friends, tellyour leadership girlfriends to
come on.
There's some great thingshappening on Graced to Lead and
you can always connect with us.
Remember you can get on ourmailing list.
(12:45):
I won't spam you, I promise,but it'll give you a way to stay
updated.
Remember, you can connect withme and the Grace to Lead podcast
, so that you can stay updatedon what's new, what's happening.
This is going to be a greatseason.
Buckle up buttercup, I thinkthat's what they say.
Buckle up buttercup, becausethis is going to be great Until
we meet again.
Remember, you are indeed graceto lead.
(13:08):
Bye-bye.
Popular Podcasts
Amy Robach & T.J. Holmes present: Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial
Introducing… Aubrey O’Day Diddy’s former protege, television personality, platinum selling music artist, Danity Kane alum Aubrey O’Day joins veteran journalists Amy Robach and TJ Holmes to provide a unique perspective on the trial that has captivated the attention of the nation. Join them throughout the trial as they discuss, debate, and dissect every detail, every aspect of the proceedings. Aubrey will offer her opinions and expertise, as only she is qualified to do given her first-hand knowledge. From her days on Making the Band, as she emerged as the breakout star, the truth of the situation would be the opposite of the glitz and glamour. Listen throughout every minute of the trial, for this exclusive coverage. Amy Robach and TJ Holmes present Aubrey O’Day, Covering the Diddy Trial, an iHeartRadio podcast.
Dateline NBC
Current and classic episodes, featuring compelling true-crime mysteries, powerful documentaries and in-depth investigations. Follow now to get the latest episodes of Dateline NBC completely free, or subscribe to Dateline Premium for ad-free listening and exclusive bonus content: DatelinePremium.com
The Breakfast Club
The World's Most Dangerous Morning Show, The Breakfast Club, With DJ Envy And Charlamagne Tha God!