May 1, 2025 • 49 mins
When that persistent feeling of career discontent refuses to go away, it's often more than just a bad day—it's your internal compass signaling misalignment. Career and leadership coach Amy Krymkowski joins us to unpack the nuanced signs that it might be time for a professional pivot and how to navigate that journey with intention and courage.
Amy shares her powerful framework for understanding career transitions, revealing how we must move through distinct zones—comfort, fear, learning, and growth—to evolve professionally. She compassionately explains why that "fear zone" keeps so many talented professionals stuck, offering practical strategies to push through resistance and limiting narratives like the sunk cost fallacy that whispers, "I've invested too much to walk away now."
For those experiencing unexpected career disruptions through layoffs or organizational changes, Amy provides a refreshing perspective on viewing these moments as opportunities rather than setbacks. Through touching client stories and actionable advice, she demonstrates how pauses in our professional trajectory often create the exact space needed for greater clarity and reconnection with our true strengths and desires.
The conversation takes a meaningful turn when we explore how faith integrates with career decisions. "Faith doesn't always show up as certainty," Amy wisely notes. "Sometimes it's the decision to move forward without it." Her suggestion to ask, "Where am I being called to move with courage, not certainty?" offers a compelling invitation to trust our deeper wisdom.
Whether you're feeling that inner nudge toward change or navigating an unexpected professional transition, this episode provides the guidance, permission, and practical tools to honor your journey. As Amy beautifully reminds us: "You are not broken. You are simply in a season of becoming." Connect with Amy through her Realign and Reset Masterclass or Pause and Pivot coaching program to continue your journey toward professional alignment and fulfillment.
Mentioned during the show:
- Connect with Amy: https://www.amykrymkowski.com/lets-stay-connected
- Pause and Pivot Master Class: https://pauseandpivot.sutra.co
- LinkedIn: @betterpathcoaching
- Instagram: @betterpathcoaching
- Better Path Coaching Website: https://betterpathcoaching.com/
Please subscribe to our mailing list to stay connected and get updates! Thanks for listening to the Graced to Lead Podcast.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Belinda Gaston (00:00):
Are you feeling stuck in your career or sensing
that it's time for a change, butnot sure what's next?
Listen.
In today's episode, I'm joinedby Amy Krymkowski, a career and
leadership coach, who helpsprofessionals navigate
transitions.
So keep listening as we talkabout signs of misalignment,
moving from comfort to growthand how to make intentional,
(00:23):
faith-aligned career moves thatlead to fulfillment.
You don't want to miss this one.
Welcome to the Graced to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
If you are a woman who leads inthe boardroom, the church or
your home, you are in the rightplace.
On this podcast, you'll hearreal conversations, practical
(00:46):
insights and biblicalencouragement to help you lead
boldly and walk confidently inyour God-given purpose.
So are you ready?
Let the journey begin.
Welcome to the Graced to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
I am so excited about our guesttoday.
(01:06):
We have none other than AmyKrymkowski with us.
Let me just tell you a littlebit about Amy.
She's a career and leadershipcoach.
She's a facilitator with over adecade of experience guiding
professionals through pivotaltransitions and leadership
growth.
She specializes in helpingleaders and expert professionals
(01:28):
in midlife who feel stuck.
Can anybody relate to thatFeeling stuck, stagnant or
unfulfilled.
She helps them to pause,reflect and reconnect with what
matters most, and now more thanever.
I think this is a timelyconversation.
She does that by addressingmental and emotional barriers
(01:48):
that block action.
She empowers her clients torealign with their values,
rediscover their purpose andtake bold strategic steps
towards more meaningful work andlives.
Amy is the founder of BetterPath Coaching and she blends
holistic insight with actionablestrategies to help her clients
lead with intention, fulfillmentand lasting impact.
(02:12):
Amy is an ICF professionalcertified coach and holds an
integral coach certificationfrom New Ventures West.
She also has a master's degreein human resources and labor
relations and a certification ingroup coaching.
Amy is an expert here and weare so happy to have you, amy.
How impressive, I'm telling you.
(02:33):
The time is now for us to hearyou and we are so excited that
you are here.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Amy Krymkowski (02:42):
Thank you, belinda.
I'm excited to be here and Ilook forward to having this
conversation and just hopefullygiving some great ideas, advice,
suggestions for your listenersso that they can feel seen and
heard and motivated to take astep forward for their career,
(03:04):
their future and really getcloser to joy and happiness, as
opposed to the doldrums that Ithink we're experiencing right
now, unfortunately.
Belinda Gaston (03:14):
We all need that and I think it's beneficial for
us to start a little bittalking about you.
Tell us a little bit about youand if you've experienced a
major pivot or shift that shapedyour perspective, yeah, it's
interesting.
Amy Krymkowski (03:29):
I actually often describe my path of really
becoming a coach as a series oflife stages and key events that
led me to lean into what Ialready had natural curiosity
and a deep desire to reallyserve others wholeheartedly.
So a little bit about me isthat I was adopted at about five
(03:52):
weeks old and it was atransracial adoption.
So my parents are Caucasian,but my adoptive parents were
white, one was white and one wasblack essentially and I was
raised in a racially segregatedenvironment until age six, and
that really sparked an earlysense of wonder around my own
(04:14):
identity.
Right, I remember just kind ofwondering who am I?
I don't really look a lot likesome of the people that are
raising me or in my family.
Why was I given up for adoptionand who will I become?
And that curiosity has notreally ever really left me.
And as I grew I realized thatmy strengths because I have a
(04:35):
brother who's also adopted andhe's somebody who excels in like
the STEM areas, the traditionalSTEM areas science, math,
technology, etc.
And those weren't really mystrengths Mine were more in line
with humans understandingpeople, being very curious about
them, being able to build trustand making connections.
(04:57):
It took me a while to be able tosee these gifts in myself and,
as a result of that, I wasreally drawn to work with people
in a way to help that wouldallow me to bridge gaps and
really witness people more fullyand create space for growth.
And I did that in a fewdifferent ways.
In terms of pivots, I startedin social services, I moved into
(05:18):
human resources and then Imoved to coaching.
For me, it took a series ofevents for me to realize this
theme of that.
I really wanted to be a personof service, and I will say that
one of the major turning pointsfor me was when I worked in the
outplacement industry.
So, prior to me working fulltime as a coach, I worked for a
(05:39):
company in the industry where,just like today, when employers
and companies lay people off,they often hire companies to
come in and provide support,transition services, coaching,
resume help, things like that.
And I did that prior to workingfor myself, and what I saw were
(05:59):
just how many professionals wereso focused on doing their you
know doing the job, reaching thegoals, you know fulfilling
their responsibilities, and theywere so focused on performing
that they had lost sight of whothey were becoming, and so when
somebody faced a layoff, it waslike the parachute just got
(06:23):
pulled for them.
They didn't pull their ownparachute, somebody else did,
and so they were suddenlyfeeling faced with lots of
questions that they hadn't hadthe space to ask before that,
and that experience taught methat transformation often begins
with a pause and withreassessing what you truly need
(06:45):
and then shifting this way ofdoing to being, and so now
that's what I do is I want tohelp others navigate that same
shift, of course with morecompassion, with clarity and
with a wholehearted approach totheir personal and professional
change.
Belinda Gaston (07:10):
That is amazing and I'm so glad that you shared
your story.
I think that there are peoplewho can resonate with feeling
asking those questions who am I,where do I belong, why am I
different?
Even in sharing that yourbrother, for instance, was the
person that excelled in STEM,when you are in spaces where
people are excelling at things,you often compare yourself Well,
maybe I should excel, or why amI not excelling?
(07:33):
And so I love that.
I also love that you said, amy,that the doing and the being.
That's huge, because I think,as leaders, we kind of get in
the motion of we have to do thethings.
That's the way we measuresuccess as leaders, and your
invitation for us to pause andsay wait, what should I be?
(07:53):
Not necessarily what should Ido, but who am I and how does
that connect?
Amy Krymkowski (07:58):
Yeah, it has a lot to do too with this idea of
because we're busy doing.
You know, time is passing andwe wake up and we may not take
the moment, take the time toassess the fact that who we were
when we started isn't the sameperson as we are today.
And when we're busy, I havelots of clients that are high
(08:22):
achievers.
They're going after those goals, they're reaching milestones,
they're doing amazing work, butit's on to the next.
There's no pause to celebrateor it doesn't happen at all.
And, more importantly, how muchreflection is happening in
between?
And so I share this, becausethese are key components of the
(08:43):
work that I do when I'msupporting people.
To start transition, to thennavigate transition, is that it
requires us to come back toourselves and to recognize the
opportunity to really listenmore deeply to our true longings
and what we want and what wevalue.
Belinda Gaston (09:02):
Yes, I love it.
So one of the things that yousaid was that the pivot doesn't
necessarily happen with onething, like there may be
multiple things happening thatindicate that something needs to
change right, and so I want totalk about that.
And I think when I worked withyou and so for those who are
listening, I actually workedwith Amy in her masterclass and
(09:25):
hopefully she'll talk about thatat the end of our interview
today but it's that feeling kindof an inner nudge, almost, like
something is just not quiteright.
I don't know what it is right,and I think that there may be
leaders that are experiencingthat.
And so are there signs thatpeople have when they're having
(09:45):
this inner nudge, when it may betime to pivot.
What are some of those commonsigns that people may experience
?
Amy Krymkowski (09:55):
Yes, I love this question and it's so important
because it's easy to just keepit moving.
You know we hear thatexpression a lot and keeping it
moving might mean that we'reavoiding or we're not
acknowledging something.
So one of the biggestindicators that it's time for a
professional visit is a deepsense of misalignment.
(10:16):
That's something we talk aboutin my masterclass right.
That can show up in emotionalways feeling drained,
unmotivated, anxious.
Maybe it's even feeling numb,just kind of existing in the
world.
Or it could be behavioralpatterns like procrastination,
(10:36):
avoidance or struggling to makedecisions effectively.
As a leader, I often ask myclients does this role fuel you
or drain you?
And that simple question canreveal a lot.
So when your work is aligned towhat truly matters, to you your
values, strengths and purpose,you tend to feel energized and
(10:58):
motivated.
But when there's a disconnect,it can lead to stagnation,
burnout or a growing sense thatsomething just isn't working
anymore, and that's when it'stime to pause and get curious.
I also think that what holdspeople back from making the
shift, even when they feel thepull, often comes down to fear
(11:23):
Fear of unknown, fear of notbeing good enough, even fear of
success.
So these fears create the innernarratives.
Like you know, gosh, I'vealready invested too much to
walk away.
I hear that a lot from seniorleaders that are at the top of
their game.
Or they've been able to reallyaccomplish things that they want
.
They call that sort at the topof their game.
(11:44):
Or they've been able to reallyaccomplish things that they want
.
They call that sort of the sunkcost fallacy.
This idea, like I've alreadyinvested enough, I can't just
leave, I can't just walk away.
Or maybe another question ofyou know what, if I can't figure
this out which often can showup for some as imposter syndrome
, where they just don't believethat they have the capabilities,
(12:07):
the strengths, the skills toactually take the step in the
direction of a pivot.
So you talked about mymasterclass.
That's what I do in my realignand reset your career is.
I have a tool called thealignment assessment that really
helps people reflect on reallysix key areas their ability to
(12:28):
learn the culture of the company, what is meaning and purpose.
Visibility are they beingrecognized and seen?
The ability to balance thedemands of work, the demands of
home and, more importantly, whatis their team or collegial
relationships like.
So, whether there'sdissatisfaction or misalignment
(12:51):
in one of these areas, it's asignal that a change may be
needed.
The best part that I would addhere, though, is I think that
the good news is you don't haveto have all the answers to start
.
You just need the courage tolisten to these whispers before
they become like a roar.
Belinda Gaston (13:11):
You said a lot and I want to go back to a few
of those things.
For me, one of my aha momentswas when you said one of the
signs was procrastination.
And I didn't associate myprocrastination with certain
tasks, certain workresponsibilities as perhaps a
feeling of misalignment.
And so the signs that you gaveabout procrastination, about not
(13:37):
being energized, I think thoseare really great signs and I
appreciate that you areencouraging us to kind of step
back and look at that.
You also talk about the decisionfatigue and not being able to
make a decision could be tied tothis misalignment.
And then you talked about thisfear and the feeling of, well,
(14:00):
I've put so much time into this,I can't change now.
And I want to talk about that alittle bit, because I hear that
a lot from leaders who areconsidering making a change.
Somehow, amy, it's well, I'veput so much time into this, or
I've finally reached thisparticular level or this
particular job title or whateverit is, and so can you talk a
(14:23):
little bit about that?
What is the value of movingforward, or at least what you'd
say, of being curious about that, despite all you've poured into
a particular place, aparticular business, an
organization, a ministry,whatever it is, what would you
say?
The value of pushing past thatis.
Amy Krymkowski (14:44):
I would just say in a nutshell is that our
mindset can play a huge role inwhat happens in transition, and
so the fear factor there's thisbeautiful, when I was thinking
about some things to talk aboutis this model I'm just pulling
it up, they call it it movingfrom a place of comfort to a
(15:07):
place of growth, and there'swhat we call the comfort zone,
and that's where what we do issafe and familiar to us.
So somebody who's highlyexperienced, who has lots of
accolades and expertise in anarea they're being told
regularly you're great, you'rewonderful, they're in a
(15:27):
beautiful comfort zone andthat's a beautiful place to be.
But when you want to thinkabout moving and evolving,
that's something I want to talka little bit about today.
Evolution is that the longer westay in the comfort zone, the
larger that potential for thefear to change grows.
Because who doesn't want to becomfortable?
(15:49):
And as humans we're sort ofwired that way we like comfort,
we don't like to be stretched.
But what's important to thinkabout is that we need to move to
the growth zone, and the growthzone means that we first have
to get through the fear zonebefore we can get to the
learning zone.
And following, the learningzone becomes the growth zone.
(16:10):
So the fear zone is coming upwith excuses, all the reasons
why we can't do something.
Oh, I'm too this, I'm too that,or I've invested all this time,
I'm too old.
People can fill that in howeverthey want, but really, yes,
when we're in the fear zone,we're lacking in self-confidence
.
We may be experiencing somedoubt, but really, for us to get
(16:33):
closer to the growth zone,which is where we can thrive,
where we can stretch, where webuild and become more capable,
is that we have to look at howcan we move to the learning zone
.
So the learning zone sort ofsits between the fear and the
growth.
It's the learning that's in themiddle, and so what's beautiful
(16:53):
about the learning zone is thatwe learn first how to deal with
challenges that might be comingup as we see them as problems.
Or maybe it's how we learn toextend our comfort so that we
can stretch just a little bitright.
Extend our comfort so that wecan stretch just a little bit
right.
What's it like?
10% even?
And acquiring new skills?
(17:17):
And as we acquire new skills,what do we see?
We see that we have capacity.
We actually we come reconnectedto or re-familiarized with our
strengths, we just might see ourstrengths in action in a
different way, and so I thinkthat's really important that we
move from this idea of I need tobe comfortable, safe and secure
to what does it mean to growand extend.
And so, when we think aboutmaking a pivot, that's what's
(17:40):
required.
Growth is required.
Growth is what's calling us.
When we're there, we can setnew goals, we can really conquer
the things that we want.
We can have vision to thedirection for which we want to
go to.
Belinda Gaston (17:56):
Thank you for sharing that, and I just I have
a question for our audience.
Are you putting comfort overgrowth?
That's something to think about.
Are you putting comfort overgrowth?
And so I think that isimportant.
Amy Krymkowski (18:11):
When we step out of comfort we actually begin to
build our confidence.
I call them the three C's.
The things that I see the mostpeople when they're in that
comfort zone is they lackclarity because when they're
thinking about what's next, theydon't maybe know.
They lack confidence and theylack courage.
Belinda Gaston (18:33):
Wow, the three C's.
Amy Krymkowski (18:36):
And so stepping out of your comfort zone begins
to help you to build yourconfidence.
You start to test and try andsee things that are working for
you, that you didn't know thatyou could do.
But oh look, I did it and thatreally happened.
And we can't negate truth.
For many people, especiallyadults, the best way we learn is
by doing, not by consuming andreading.
(18:57):
It's literally by doing,because that's an experience, a
felt experience that we've had.
I think it also helps us tothen create opportunities.
We create new opportunities forourselves when we begin to move
out of comfort and move moretowards growth, and the last
thing it can do is that alonecan fuel our ability to advance
(19:19):
or move in whatever directionthat might be.
I want to be clear.
I've worked with lots ofleaders who are at the top of
their game.
There might even be at theC-suite, and they may be at a
point in their life wherethey're like you know what I'd
like to decelerate.
So I'm not looking to add onmore, I'd like to release and
(19:41):
take on less.
I still want to be in charge, Istill want to lead, but I'd
like to do less.
That is also an opportunity forgrowth.
Growth can be horizontal.
Growth can mean I'm releasingsomething to create space for
something new.
Belinda Gaston (19:58):
Thank you for clarifying that, because I do
think it's important for us tosay it's okay if you are
comfortable, but if you feel, asif there are these inner nudges
that Amy talked about, thatthere are these signs that
perhaps you're out of alignmentand you're holding on to comfort
because you're afraid of thegrowth, the stretch, the change,
(20:21):
then this is all really goodadvice to help you move forward.
I would like to pause for asecond, though, to just put the
scenario out that we'reexperiencing right now, amy, and
so we do have people who arebeing forced to change right,
maybe they've lost a job and Iknow that you said earlier that
part of what you used to do washelp people without placement
(20:44):
services or their next stepservices but some people are in
this space right now where theircareers, as they know it,
because of environmentalcircumstances, political
circumstances, however you wantto say it has changed.
They've been furloughed,they've been impacted by
reductions in force, theircompanies have changed, whatever
(21:07):
it is, and so, while they mayhave been in alignment when they
were working, they're in thisplace where it's wait.
I not only have to find anotherjob, but maybe this is an
opportunity for me to pivot, andso I'll ask you for a moment to
share some advice for thosepeople.
How do you pivot when you mayhave been forced to change and
(21:32):
you didn't have this moment toreally reflect?
What advice would you give topeople in that situation?
Amy Krymkowski (21:42):
Well, in the world of coaching, I used to use
a, I still use it.
It's a model.
I'll talk about a model.
And then I want to talk abouthow and what you can do when
you're sort of in that inbetween, because the reality is
is that when we make a shift,we're I always say transition is
(22:03):
between.
So you have point A and point Band the transition is the space
between.
I think that people think oftransition and they just think I
just got to get to B.
That's the tender part of thiswhole picture.
But before I mention that, Ihave a graphic that I can't show
you right now, but it's aboutwhat we call the three phases of
(22:25):
change or the change curve.
Because there's truly what wecall the five stages of change,
which is that when somebody'sthinking about a change, there's
typically the pre-contemplationstage.
So they didn't know that theywere going to be told hey, we're
going to no longer need yourservices, or your position is no
longer going to be available,and so there was not even an
(22:48):
awareness of recognizing thatsomething might happen.
Contemplation could beacknowledging that you know, I
think I might want to change, or, in this case, contemplation
was kind of forced upon thembecause it wasn't self-selected.
It was told right, you weresolid told.
Is that one phrase?
Belinda Gaston (23:08):
I've heard.
Amy Krymkowski (23:09):
So you've acknowledged that there's a
problem, but you're not ready toact.
Preparation means, okay, I'mgoing to start to get ready to
change, action means I'mactively changing.
And then maintenance I've madethe change.
How do I keep this going?
Those are five stages of change.
I want to mention it becauseit's important for people to
remember that change takes placeover time and that there are
(23:31):
stages.
There's also, though, theemotional element of what
happens during this process, andthat's where the change curve
comes in and we have sort of theloss your listeners, who may be
in roles in the federalgovernment where they were just
told, or they read about it onthe news, or however it was
(23:56):
haphazardly communicated.
What I want to do is acknowledgethat the feelings that may
happen in the beginning, ofanything from denial, anxiety,
shock, confusion that is all parfor the course, or another way
of saying it is it's normal toexperience these emotions.
That's important, because whathappens is, as time passes,
(24:24):
there will become some timewhere you have to move towards
acceptance, become some timewhere you have to move towards
acceptance, and I think thatthat can be very hard and
difficult and triggering forpeople, but the ability so you
may need to get through, beupset, have anger, have fear,
like what we've been talkingabout, maybe avoiding,
procrastinating or evensomething and what we want to
(24:47):
get to is what we call theability to recognize that.
You know what.
I'm past that initial shock,but I'm not quite to where I
find clarity and that's where wecall that second period sort of
exploration, all right.
I have energy, I'm realizing Ineed to make a change, but I
(25:09):
don't know what direction.
I don't have a destination, I'mnot sure what to do, and this
is where it's a balance Creat doI do it right?
We fall in the how hole a lot,but as we can start to accept
(25:35):
where we are and we can get thesupport and the help that we
need, we can begin to movetowards what's going to be our
next step or our new beginning.
And that's when the sense ofhopelessness begins to fade.
We begin to start to seemovement.
We might notice that ouranxiety levels are less and we
(25:58):
begin to trust the process andhave even more enthusiasm about
what's next, the future, what'sahead.
I'm spending time here becausepeople may vacillate through
these areas, meaning it's notthis linear process that it goes
from here to here.
You may find that you're backin shock and fear, but at the
(26:20):
end of the day, what's importantis to acknowledge that, as
humans, we have an emotionalreaction to change as well as
the actual process of change,and they are aligned and they
exist together.
And when we can acknowledgethat, we can to some extent
normalize the reality of theexperience, the beautiful thing
(26:43):
about the world we're in todayis there's an array of people
like me who want to help andsupport, but one of the best
things that individuals can bedoing is recognizing they're not
crazy, that it's normal andokay to have these experiences
emotionally, so that it can thenhelp lead them and guide them
towards what's next.
(27:04):
And as you incorporate thatwith the work.
That's the beauty of transitionand this is part of the
experience.
Belinda Gaston (27:11):
Yeah, and it's almost like what I heard you say
.
I mean, there was a lot thereas far as how we go through this
process.
But I hope, listeners, you'rehearing this permission to feel
what you're feeling as youchoose your actions.
I have someone who I admiresays that all the time, if you
feel the feeling, you choose thebehavior, and it's something
(27:32):
I've adopted.
Amy Krymkowski (27:33):
But it's okay to feel and it's okay to vacillate
, it's okay to feel as if, okay,I'm ready, now I move forward,
and then to find yourself thenext day back right, amy, it's
so important because I alwayslike to say there's the process
side of change and then there'sthe tactical side and there are
coaches who I would say are moretheir services and gifts are to
(27:59):
help you with the tactical.
So what's my brand?
Who am I?
What can I do?
How do I articulate this on aLinkedIn profile?
How do I articulate this in aresume?
The tactical things.
Belinda Gaston (28:11):
What am I?
Amy Krymkowski (28:11):
going to say in the interview, the interview
process, networking, all thesethings.
There's always the opportunityfor something to not go the way
you expected For you to havefive interviews and then you get
crickets and you find out thecompany hired somebody else.
(28:36):
It's a messy period.
So the ability to your point ofwaking up and saying today's
going to be a better day and,more importantly, what were the
lessons learned that I gainedfrom that last experience, how
do I leverage what I'm learning?
When you're in transition,having a capacity for learning
agility means that we canembrace.
There's a lot we may not knowand we may not meet every
(28:58):
milestone or expectation that weset, but as we're moving
through our journey, we arelearning and we can leverage our
learning to help us to refine,to help us to iterate.
I like this phrase iterate yourway to awesome, right, so we
flex and we become more agile.
(29:18):
One of the most tender parts oftransition is this in-between
stage, so that moment of beingtold the role is no longer
available to I have somethingnew.
There's a whole lot thathappens in the in-between.
They call it the messy middlein some models that I've heard,
when you've outgrown what wasbut you haven't fully stepped
(29:40):
into what's next.
And I've really coached,particularly women, to honor
this space and to not rush it.
It really requires a mindsetshift from a sense of urgency,
to trust, and I think this maybe a little bit of where your
sense of having a sense of faithand belief.
That's where we have toacknowledge that some things
(30:03):
that happen in our lives areunseen, we can't know, and we
don't know that because we livein a culture that celebrates
action.
But I believe there's power inthe pause.
Pause is where clarity beginsand it's where we can reconnect
to who we are becoming, and thatidentity shift can take time.
(30:24):
So I have a framework that Iuse a lot.
I'll just call it reallyquickly.
It's reflect, no-transcript.
(31:05):
It could mean trying out newthings or noticing what fuels
our energy and what drains ourenergy right.
So, as I mentioned before, wegrow through iteration and I
think that that's a really keypoint, and there's been studies
and research about how do adultsmake transitions and learn.
(31:27):
It's not so much about the how,it's more about the what.
What are we trying?
What's new?
What are we experimenting with?
I had a client, a gentleman thatI worked with years ago.
He had been laid off from acompany and I'll just share this
story.
He had been working in a big,big role where he had a big team
(31:48):
and he was leading and managingright, kind of making a lot of
decisions, and I remember he andhis wife decided that when it
was, he had worked at a companyfor a good time, so he had a
fairly decent package, severancepackage and they decided that
it was going to be time that hewanted.
He wanted to retire, and sothey relocated.
(32:09):
They left the West, they movedto a new state and he was
rebuilding.
And one of the things that hedid, which really helped to lead
and guide him toward a newopportunity that he never
expected he would take, is hestarted doing things that he had
always wanted to do.
So he went and volunteered inthis restaurant in his new
(32:29):
community.
He met the owner and it wasthrough that experience that
guess what happened.
While he was being a shortercook, he started noticing the
processes that were happening inthe restaurant and kind of why
the owner's restaurant wasn'tdoing so well.
I forgot to mention one of hisexpertise was process.
(32:51):
He was an engineer, he wasreally good at that and so, yeah
, that would be important tomention.
The reason I'm mentioning thisis because while he was
experimenting, he wasreconnected to his gifts, his
talents and his strengths, andthat is to look at something and
say how do we make this better,more efficient and, in this
(33:14):
case, better for the businessowner so that he could grow and
get more customers into hisrestaurant.
From that experience, that'swhen he said you know what?
I don't know, that I'm fullyready to just hand all that over
, but what I do know is I don'twant the big job anymore, I'd
like to be the advisor to theleader.
(33:36):
And so he started talking tosomebody in his new community.
He got connected to a nonprofitorganization.
The executive director at thisnonprofit met him and she loved
the way he saw things.
She loved how he could, youknow, see something that was
broken and recommend solutions.
Why am I sharing that?
Because what happened is, whenhe allowed himself to explore,
(34:01):
he got reconnected to what hereally loves.
And then he was able to say andI don't want to be the
executive director, I'd ratherbe her right hand, and it was a
female, actually executivedirector, his new boss.
So not only did he find that hewasn't really ready to fully
retire.
He found and fell back in lovewith what his gifts and talents
(34:23):
were in a way that he would havenever seen in a structured kind
of job, in a way that he wouldhave never seen in a structured
kind of job, but through justgoing off, on a whim of you.
Know, I've always wanted to dosomething, and now that I have
time and that's, I think, thebeauty of where grace and faith
come in right, it's this notionof what, if I just allow myself,
(34:45):
give myself permission to dosomething that I've always
wanted to do, I never had thetime before.
I can't tell you how much Ihear that from people.
It's hard to see in thebeginning of the loss, because
we're in that sort of emotionalstate.
It's hard for people sometimesto see the benefits of the space
, having the space to exploreand it's, and so whenever I work
(35:10):
with somebody I always sayplease don't not take advantage
of this time.
You've said you wanted to writea book, do it now.
You said you wanted to takethat trip or whatever.
You have a severance, do it now.
There's beauty and evolution andreconnection that happens in
(35:31):
the spaciousness, but we have togive ourselves permission to do
that.
And if you're somebody whomight say, well, I don't have
the ability to do that, I don'thave the funds, maybe it's not a
trip, it could just be youjournal for 10 minutes.
It could be doing breath work.
Creating spaciousness is whatwe all need because it allows us
(35:54):
to settle, and then that's whenclarity can exist.
But without it, I think thatwhat people stay in is that
state of anxiety.
They stay there and they buildupon the what ifs.
Well, what if this and what ifthat and what if this?
The what-ifs are going to keepus in a state of anxiety.
(36:15):
But if we could change that onthe dime and say, what will I do
?
How will I embrace this?
What if I just allow theseother things to happen?
So, changing maybe that nerve abit can be valuable.
I want to share also thereality of being human is that
sometimes we aren't always right.
(36:37):
Sometimes we need to listen tothe inner voice, to that deeper
message, and those messages comein signs, right.
Something doesn't quite go theway we want it to.
Maybe there's a reason for that.
Belinda Gaston (36:54):
Right.
Amy Krymkowski (36:55):
Let's not assume that that was, you know, a
barrier.
Maybe that was an open doorthat we just didn't realize,
because our brain wants to tellus it's something else, right?
Maybe that's a good thing thatit didn't happen.
Belinda Gaston (37:09):
Yes, I love it.
I love it.
This was so good.
Thank you for sharing.
I just think that story wasamazing, amy, about your client,
and it actually gave meencouragement and hope.
So let's talk a little bitabout integrating our faith.
You touched on this a littlebit, but are there practical
ways that you would tell ourlisteners that they can
(37:30):
incorporate their faith in theirdecision making when they're in
this space?
Amy Krymkowski (37:39):
their decision-making when they're in
this space.
One of the things that I wantto say to your listeners is that
I've learned that faith doesn'talways show up as certainty.
Sometimes it's the decision tomove forward without it right.
That's when moments ofstillness or surrender really
become essential.
One of the most powerfulexperiences that I've had was
(38:00):
during silent meditation retreat.
This is where you kind of gooff the grid, you are observing
noble silence and you are movingthrough the world without
speaking.
And what I found is it took menearly three days to fully drop
down from my head to my heartand body, but once I did, I
(38:21):
could truly listen, and that'swhen clarity emerges.
So in my coaching, I integratepractices that support this kind
of deeper listening.
These are simple, inclusivepractices.
I've mentioned some alreadymindful breathing, maybe
journaling but asking evendeeper, reflective questions can
(38:45):
be really valuable.
I'd like to share a few withyour listeners who may be
experiencing transition orquestioning what's next?
So the first is what am I beinginvited to?
Let go of what's asking to betrusted, even if it's not fully
formed Right?
(39:08):
And another one is where am Ibeing called to move with
courage, not certainty.
To move with courage, notcertainty, and so, in this case,
faith becomes more of an anchor, not a prescription, but a way
of being that allows foruncertainty, growth and grace,
(39:39):
and for many of my clients thatshift from needing all the
answers to trusting the right.
Next step is where the realtransformation begins yeah, we
need all that.
Belinda Gaston (39:45):
I need to know exactly.
Lord, tell me where I'm goingto be, what I'm going to be
wearing, how am I going to do it?
That's a really great point tocut to just when we get out of
that place of wanting all theanswers and just needing the
certainty and just that's.
That's really really good, right.
So we're going to wrap up.
(40:06):
I feel like this went by sofast, but are there any
practical tools or advice you'dlike to share beyond what you've
already shared?
What you've already shared, andare there final things that
you'd like to say to ourlistener, to that leader who is
in the middle of transition, whomay recognize that there's a
(40:27):
pivot or have been forced tomake a pivot?
Are there any final thoughtsyou'd have to share with our
listeners around those things?
Amy Krymkowski (40:33):
Yes, a couple of things.
One is, I think that when womensense a transition is near but
they're not sure where to start,I know that many of your
listeners who've been impactedthrough the changes at the
federal government level, thetransitions here whether we
wanted it to have that happen ornot, the parachute was pulled.
But being unsure of where tostart is real and I always say
(40:56):
start with curiosity, notpressure.
One simple first step is tojust pause and check in with
what I call your internalcompass, the sage power of
navigate.
That means it's part of youthat knows how to make a
decision that's aligned withyour deeper values and your
(41:17):
long-term vision, even when it'sthe next step can feel foggy
With the Navigate Power.
What we do is we in time and weimagine what would our wiser
elder self say to us?
So imagine myself at, let's say, age 90.
When I think about the momentI'm in right now, what would my
(41:39):
wiser elder self tell me?
That's the ability to listen toour internal compass.
Because often what people sayis oh my gosh, this moment I'm
in is just a moment.
It's not the full definition ofwho I am.
But this is important why Ilike supporting clients in
clarifying their values, becausethose values become the filter
(42:04):
through which you make alignedchoices.
When you know what trulymatters to you whether that's
creativity, stability, impact orfreedom you can start making
small decisions that point youin that direction.
So getting clear on value thatcan be done through assessment,
that can be done throughconversation.
(42:25):
Value clarity is key whenyou're just getting started
Believing in the ability thatyou have an internal compass
that can let you know more aboutthe direction you want to go in
, but then getting clear aboutwhat direction that is and start
to make small decisions thatpoint you in that direction.
(42:47):
One last thing is to alsoconsider journaling, which is
you know, where in myprofessional life do I feel most
energized?
When has that happened in myprofessional life?
Do I feel most energized?
When has that happened andwhere did I notice myself
feeling the opposite, feelingmore drained?
That can also be a reallybeautiful way to reconnect
yourself with your vitality andbegin moving from stuck to
(43:11):
curious right.
So getting more curious aboutwhat led to that energy, what
was going on for me at the timewhen I was in that position or
in that role or at that company?
Was it my teammates?
Was it my boss?
Was it my work?
What was it?
(43:41):
See who gain momentum as theybegin to step in and call in.
What they want from this pointis that they show up.
So that's really key becauseit's in.
You know, we talked earlierabout being driven by fear, and
when we get driven by fear, it'seasy to operate then or stay in
isolation, and that's probablythe worst thing to do.
People who show up, they stayin dialogue, they seek out
(44:03):
feedback, they seek out support,they stay open to the process
even when it's uncertain, andtheir willingness to stay
connected to themselves and thework is what creates the clarity
over time.
Patience is key, but notallowing ourselves to fall prey
to fear and fall prey toisolation.
(44:24):
That does not help us.
So what I'd want to say that,could you know, that may
encourage your listeners is forwomen listening who feel stuck
or scared or uncertain.
I just want you to hear.
You are not broken.
You are simply in a season ofbecoming.
There's something in you thatknows it's time for change, even
(44:48):
if you can't name it yet, butthere's that yearning that you
may feel right.
That's your wisdom speaking.
It's not to pressure you, butto invite you.
This is an invitation for youto slow down and listen and give
yourself radical permission towant something more.
(45:11):
So just remember you don't haveto leap today, but you do
deserve to begin.
Belinda Gaston (45:21):
I think that is a great place for us to end, amy
.
There's a lot to digest here.
I think that taking some timeto reflect on the questions that
Amy posed and even thatinvitation to start today is
really good, and I know that Ifound value in it.
Listen, if you want to stay intouch with Amy, I'd like for Amy
(45:44):
for you to tell us how can weconnect with you and share
anything that you're working onthat our listeners might find
valuable.
Sure.
Amy Krymkowski (45:52):
And thank you for the opportunity just to
share some of those importantnuggets.
Ways to stay in touch with meis I have a mailing list and
I'll make sure to provide youwith that, but it's
wwwamykronkowskicom slash.
Let's stay connected with somedashes in between, so I want to
make sure I send that to you,belinda, so you can share that.
(46:12):
I want to share updates andevents and reflective prompts,
ways to help people stay, youknow, guided and supported in
what they're going through.
Right, meeting you where youare.
I also offer a masterclass,which you mentioned, my Realign
your Career Reset Masterclass.
I just got done offering it inMarch in honor of Women's
(46:36):
History Month, and so I'm goingto be looking to redo it again,
either this later this spring orin the summer.
So another way to say if youstay connected with me, you'll
learn about that.
And lastly, I have a groupcoaching program called Pause
and Pivot, and so those arereally for people who feel like
it's really designed forprofessionals and leaders who
(46:56):
are really ready to startaligning their work with what
truly matters.
So things that I'm saying todayyou're like yep, yep, yep, I'm
all good, I'm ready.
That's a six-week coachingprogram, pause and Pivot, and
I'll be offering and sharingwith you, belinda, the link for
the wait list for that, so thatI can begin to communicate with
you to tell you more.
So, no matter really where youare on your journey, just
(47:20):
remember, clarity comes throughmovement, right, and you don't
have to do it alone.
Belinda Gaston (47:28):
Excellent and for our listeners.
I will put in the show notesall of the information that Amy
shared, so you'll be able tofind the link on how to stay in
touch with her.
Information about pause andpivot coaching program, as well
as her masterclass, will all bethere.
So thank you again, Amy, forsharing.
I think this is very helpfulfor those who are in transition,
(47:49):
who are considering a pivot,who may feel a nudge and not
know where to start.
I think you gave some greatinformation.
Thank you for being on with ustoday and for our listeners,
thank you for tuning into theGraced to Lead podcast.
I appreciate you supporting uswith season two.
If you found this helpful, I'mgoing to ask that you do a
(48:10):
couple things.
One is, if you're listening tothis on a podcast platform, go
ahead and subscribe to the showso that you can get all of our
notifications and also sharethis with others.
Share this with others that youthink might find value in the
Graced to Lead podcast.
So thank you again.
Thank you, Amy, for being here.
Amy Krymkowski (48:29):
Thank you, belinda.
Thank you for the opportunity.
I'm hoping some of those keymessages just around change how
we change and really givingourselves the space to evolve.
Belinda Gaston (48:42):
Thank you.
Thank you and thank you againfor listening to the Graced to
Lead podcast.
Until next time, remember, youare indeed graced to lead.
Bye-bye.
Are you feeling stuck in your career or sensing
that it's time for a change, butnot sure what's next?
Listen.
In today's episode, I'm joinedby Amy Krymkowski, a career and
leadership coach, who helpsprofessionals navigate
transitions.
So keep listening as we talkabout signs of misalignment,
moving from comfort to growthand how to make intentional,
(00:23):
faith-aligned career moves thatlead to fulfillment.
You don't want to miss this one.
Welcome to the Graced to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
If you are a woman who leads inthe boardroom, the church or
your home, you are in the rightplace.
On this podcast, you'll hearreal conversations, practical
(00:46):
insights and biblicalencouragement to help you lead
boldly and walk confidently inyour God-given purpose.
So are you ready?
Let the journey begin.
Welcome to the Graced to Leadpodcast.
I am Belinda Gaston, your host,and listen.
I am so excited about our guesttoday.
(01:06):
We have none other than AmyKrymkowski with us.
Let me just tell you a littlebit about Amy.
She's a career and leadershipcoach.
She's a facilitator with over adecade of experience guiding
professionals through pivotaltransitions and leadership
growth.
She specializes in helpingleaders and expert professionals
(01:28):
in midlife who feel stuck.
Can anybody relate to thatFeeling stuck, stagnant or
unfulfilled.
She helps them to pause,reflect and reconnect with what
matters most, and now more thanever.
I think this is a timelyconversation.
She does that by addressingmental and emotional barriers
(01:48):
that block action.
She empowers her clients torealign with their values,
rediscover their purpose andtake bold strategic steps
towards more meaningful work andlives.
Amy is the founder of BetterPath Coaching and she blends
holistic insight with actionablestrategies to help her clients
lead with intention, fulfillmentand lasting impact.
(02:12):
Amy is an ICF professionalcertified coach and holds an
integral coach certificationfrom New Ventures West.
She also has a master's degreein human resources and labor
relations and a certification ingroup coaching.
Amy is an expert here and weare so happy to have you, amy.
How impressive, I'm telling you.
(02:33):
The time is now for us to hearyou and we are so excited that
you are here.
Welcome, welcome, welcome.
Amy Krymkowski (02:42):
Thank you, belinda.
I'm excited to be here and Ilook forward to having this
conversation and just hopefullygiving some great ideas, advice,
suggestions for your listenersso that they can feel seen and
heard and motivated to take astep forward for their career,
(03:04):
their future and really getcloser to joy and happiness, as
opposed to the doldrums that Ithink we're experiencing right
now, unfortunately.
Belinda Gaston (03:14):
We all need that and I think it's beneficial for
us to start a little bittalking about you.
Tell us a little bit about youand if you've experienced a
major pivot or shift that shapedyour perspective, yeah, it's
interesting.
Amy Krymkowski (03:29):
I actually often describe my path of really
becoming a coach as a series oflife stages and key events that
led me to lean into what Ialready had natural curiosity
and a deep desire to reallyserve others wholeheartedly.
So a little bit about me isthat I was adopted at about five
(03:52):
weeks old and it was atransracial adoption.
So my parents are Caucasian,but my adoptive parents were
white, one was white and one wasblack essentially and I was
raised in a racially segregatedenvironment until age six, and
that really sparked an earlysense of wonder around my own
(04:14):
identity.
Right, I remember just kind ofwondering who am I?
I don't really look a lot likesome of the people that are
raising me or in my family.
Why was I given up for adoptionand who will I become?
And that curiosity has notreally ever really left me.
And as I grew I realized thatmy strengths because I have a
(04:35):
brother who's also adopted andhe's somebody who excels in like
the STEM areas, the traditionalSTEM areas science, math,
technology, etc.
And those weren't really mystrengths Mine were more in line
with humans understandingpeople, being very curious about
them, being able to build trustand making connections.
(04:57):
It took me a while to be able tosee these gifts in myself and,
as a result of that, I wasreally drawn to work with people
in a way to help that wouldallow me to bridge gaps and
really witness people more fullyand create space for growth.
And I did that in a fewdifferent ways.
In terms of pivots, I startedin social services, I moved into
(05:18):
human resources and then Imoved to coaching.
For me, it took a series ofevents for me to realize this
theme of that.
I really wanted to be a personof service, and I will say that
one of the major turning pointsfor me was when I worked in the
outplacement industry.
So, prior to me working fulltime as a coach, I worked for a
(05:39):
company in the industry where,just like today, when employers
and companies lay people off,they often hire companies to
come in and provide support,transition services, coaching,
resume help, things like that.
And I did that prior to workingfor myself, and what I saw were
(05:59):
just how many professionals wereso focused on doing their you
know doing the job, reaching thegoals, you know fulfilling
their responsibilities, and theywere so focused on performing
that they had lost sight of whothey were becoming, and so when
somebody faced a layoff, it waslike the parachute just got
(06:23):
pulled for them.
They didn't pull their ownparachute, somebody else did,
and so they were suddenlyfeeling faced with lots of
questions that they hadn't hadthe space to ask before that,
and that experience taught methat transformation often begins
with a pause and withreassessing what you truly need
(06:45):
and then shifting this way ofdoing to being, and so now
that's what I do is I want tohelp others navigate that same
shift, of course with morecompassion, with clarity and
with a wholehearted approach totheir personal and professional
change.
Belinda Gaston (07:10):
That is amazing and I'm so glad that you shared
your story.
I think that there are peoplewho can resonate with feeling
asking those questions who am I,where do I belong, why am I
different?
Even in sharing that yourbrother, for instance, was the
person that excelled in STEM,when you are in spaces where
people are excelling at things,you often compare yourself Well,
maybe I should excel, or why amI not excelling?
(07:33):
And so I love that.
I also love that you said, amy,that the doing and the being.
That's huge, because I think,as leaders, we kind of get in
the motion of we have to do thethings.
That's the way we measuresuccess as leaders, and your
invitation for us to pause andsay wait, what should I be?
(07:53):
Not necessarily what should Ido, but who am I and how does
that connect?
Amy Krymkowski (07:58):
Yeah, it has a lot to do too with this idea of
because we're busy doing.
You know, time is passing andwe wake up and we may not take
the moment, take the time toassess the fact that who we were
when we started isn't the sameperson as we are today.
And when we're busy, I havelots of clients that are high
(08:22):
achievers.
They're going after those goals, they're reaching milestones,
they're doing amazing work, butit's on to the next.
There's no pause to celebrateor it doesn't happen at all.
And, more importantly, how muchreflection is happening in
between?
And so I share this, becausethese are key components of the
(08:43):
work that I do when I'msupporting people.
To start transition, to thennavigate transition, is that it
requires us to come back toourselves and to recognize the
opportunity to really listenmore deeply to our true longings
and what we want and what wevalue.
Belinda Gaston (09:02):
Yes, I love it.
So one of the things that yousaid was that the pivot doesn't
necessarily happen with onething, like there may be
multiple things happening thatindicate that something needs to
change right, and so I want totalk about that.
And I think when I worked withyou and so for those who are
listening, I actually workedwith Amy in her masterclass and
(09:25):
hopefully she'll talk about thatat the end of our interview
today but it's that feeling kindof an inner nudge, almost, like
something is just not quiteright.
I don't know what it is right,and I think that there may be
leaders that are experiencingthat.
And so are there signs thatpeople have when they're having
(09:45):
this inner nudge, when it may betime to pivot.
What are some of those commonsigns that people may experience
?
Amy Krymkowski (09:55):
Yes, I love this question and it's so important
because it's easy to just keepit moving.
You know we hear thatexpression a lot and keeping it
moving might mean that we'reavoiding or we're not
acknowledging something.
So one of the biggestindicators that it's time for a
professional visit is a deepsense of misalignment.
(10:16):
That's something we talk aboutin my masterclass right.
That can show up in emotionalways feeling drained,
unmotivated, anxious.
Maybe it's even feeling numb,just kind of existing in the
world.
Or it could be behavioralpatterns like procrastination,
(10:36):
avoidance or struggling to makedecisions effectively.
As a leader, I often ask myclients does this role fuel you
or drain you?
And that simple question canreveal a lot.
So when your work is aligned towhat truly matters, to you your
values, strengths and purpose,you tend to feel energized and
(10:58):
motivated.
But when there's a disconnect,it can lead to stagnation,
burnout or a growing sense thatsomething just isn't working
anymore, and that's when it'stime to pause and get curious.
I also think that what holdspeople back from making the
shift, even when they feel thepull, often comes down to fear
(11:23):
Fear of unknown, fear of notbeing good enough, even fear of
success.
So these fears create the innernarratives.
Like you know, gosh, I'vealready invested too much to
walk away.
I hear that a lot from seniorleaders that are at the top of
their game.
Or they've been able to reallyaccomplish things that they want
.
They call that sort at the topof their game.
(11:44):
Or they've been able to reallyaccomplish things that they want
.
They call that sort of the sunkcost fallacy.
This idea, like I've alreadyinvested enough, I can't just
leave, I can't just walk away.
Or maybe another question ofyou know what, if I can't figure
this out which often can showup for some as imposter syndrome
, where they just don't believethat they have the capabilities,
(12:07):
the strengths, the skills toactually take the step in the
direction of a pivot.
So you talked about mymasterclass.
That's what I do in my realignand reset your career is.
I have a tool called thealignment assessment that really
helps people reflect on reallysix key areas their ability to
(12:28):
learn the culture of the company, what is meaning and purpose.
Visibility are they beingrecognized and seen?
The ability to balance thedemands of work, the demands of
home and, more importantly, whatis their team or collegial
relationships like.
So, whether there'sdissatisfaction or misalignment
(12:51):
in one of these areas, it's asignal that a change may be
needed.
The best part that I would addhere, though, is I think that
the good news is you don't haveto have all the answers to start
.
You just need the courage tolisten to these whispers before
they become like a roar.
Belinda Gaston (13:11):
You said a lot and I want to go back to a few
of those things.
For me, one of my aha momentswas when you said one of the
signs was procrastination.
And I didn't associate myprocrastination with certain
tasks, certain workresponsibilities as perhaps a
feeling of misalignment.
And so the signs that you gaveabout procrastination, about not
(13:37):
being energized, I think thoseare really great signs and I
appreciate that you areencouraging us to kind of step
back and look at that.
You also talk about the decisionfatigue and not being able to
make a decision could be tied tothis misalignment.
And then you talked about thisfear and the feeling of, well,
(14:00):
I've put so much time into this,I can't change now.
And I want to talk about that alittle bit, because I hear that
a lot from leaders who areconsidering making a change.
Somehow, amy, it's well, I'veput so much time into this, or
I've finally reached thisparticular level or this
particular job title or whateverit is, and so can you talk a
(14:23):
little bit about that?
What is the value of movingforward, or at least what you'd
say, of being curious about that, despite all you've poured into
a particular place, aparticular business, an
organization, a ministry,whatever it is, what would you
say?
The value of pushing past thatis.
Amy Krymkowski (14:44):
I would just say in a nutshell is that our
mindset can play a huge role inwhat happens in transition, and
so the fear factor there's thisbeautiful, when I was thinking
about some things to talk aboutis this model I'm just pulling
it up, they call it it movingfrom a place of comfort to a
(15:07):
place of growth, and there'swhat we call the comfort zone,
and that's where what we do issafe and familiar to us.
So somebody who's highlyexperienced, who has lots of
accolades and expertise in anarea they're being told
regularly you're great, you'rewonderful, they're in a
(15:27):
beautiful comfort zone andthat's a beautiful place to be.
But when you want to thinkabout moving and evolving,
that's something I want to talka little bit about today.
Evolution is that the longer westay in the comfort zone, the
larger that potential for thefear to change grows.
Because who doesn't want to becomfortable?
(15:49):
And as humans we're sort ofwired that way we like comfort,
we don't like to be stretched.
But what's important to thinkabout is that we need to move to
the growth zone, and the growthzone means that we first have
to get through the fear zonebefore we can get to the
learning zone.
And following, the learningzone becomes the growth zone.
(16:10):
So the fear zone is coming upwith excuses, all the reasons
why we can't do something.
Oh, I'm too this, I'm too that,or I've invested all this time,
I'm too old.
People can fill that in howeverthey want, but really, yes,
when we're in the fear zone,we're lacking in self-confidence
.
We may be experiencing somedoubt, but really, for us to get
(16:33):
closer to the growth zone,which is where we can thrive,
where we can stretch, where webuild and become more capable,
is that we have to look at howcan we move to the learning zone
.
So the learning zone sort ofsits between the fear and the
growth.
It's the learning that's in themiddle, and so what's beautiful
(16:53):
about the learning zone is thatwe learn first how to deal with
challenges that might be comingup as we see them as problems.
Or maybe it's how we learn toextend our comfort so that we
can stretch just a little bitright.
Extend our comfort so that wecan stretch just a little bit
right.
What's it like?
10% even?
And acquiring new skills?
(17:17):
And as we acquire new skills,what do we see?
We see that we have capacity.
We actually we come reconnectedto or re-familiarized with our
strengths, we just might see ourstrengths in action in a
different way, and so I thinkthat's really important that we
move from this idea of I need tobe comfortable, safe and secure
to what does it mean to growand extend.
And so, when we think aboutmaking a pivot, that's what's
(17:40):
required.
Growth is required.
Growth is what's calling us.
When we're there, we can setnew goals, we can really conquer
the things that we want.
We can have vision to thedirection for which we want to
go to.
Belinda Gaston (17:56):
Thank you for sharing that, and I just I have
a question for our audience.
Are you putting comfort overgrowth?
That's something to think about.
Are you putting comfort overgrowth?
And so I think that isimportant.
Amy Krymkowski (18:11):
When we step out of comfort we actually begin to
build our confidence.
I call them the three C's.
The things that I see the mostpeople when they're in that
comfort zone is they lackclarity because when they're
thinking about what's next, theydon't maybe know.
They lack confidence and theylack courage.
Belinda Gaston (18:33):
Wow, the three C's.
Amy Krymkowski (18:36):
And so stepping out of your comfort zone begins
to help you to build yourconfidence.
You start to test and try andsee things that are working for
you, that you didn't know thatyou could do.
But oh look, I did it and thatreally happened.
And we can't negate truth.
For many people, especiallyadults, the best way we learn is
by doing, not by consuming andreading.
(18:57):
It's literally by doing,because that's an experience, a
felt experience that we've had.
I think it also helps us tothen create opportunities.
We create new opportunities forourselves when we begin to move
out of comfort and move moretowards growth, and the last
thing it can do is that alonecan fuel our ability to advance
(19:19):
or move in whatever directionthat might be.
I want to be clear.
I've worked with lots ofleaders who are at the top of
their game.
There might even be at theC-suite, and they may be at a
point in their life wherethey're like you know what I'd
like to decelerate.
So I'm not looking to add onmore, I'd like to release and
(19:41):
take on less.
I still want to be in charge, Istill want to lead, but I'd
like to do less.
That is also an opportunity forgrowth.
Growth can be horizontal.
Growth can mean I'm releasingsomething to create space for
something new.
Belinda Gaston (19:58):
Thank you for clarifying that, because I do
think it's important for us tosay it's okay if you are
comfortable, but if you feel, asif there are these inner nudges
that Amy talked about, thatthere are these signs that
perhaps you're out of alignmentand you're holding on to comfort
because you're afraid of thegrowth, the stretch, the change,
(20:21):
then this is all really goodadvice to help you move forward.
I would like to pause for asecond, though, to just put the
scenario out that we'reexperiencing right now, amy, and
so we do have people who arebeing forced to change right,
maybe they've lost a job and Iknow that you said earlier that
part of what you used to do washelp people without placement
(20:44):
services or their next stepservices but some people are in
this space right now where theircareers, as they know it,
because of environmentalcircumstances, political
circumstances, however you wantto say it has changed.
They've been furloughed,they've been impacted by
reductions in force, theircompanies have changed, whatever
(21:07):
it is, and so, while they mayhave been in alignment when they
were working, they're in thisplace where it's wait.
I not only have to find anotherjob, but maybe this is an
opportunity for me to pivot, andso I'll ask you for a moment to
share some advice for thosepeople.
How do you pivot when you mayhave been forced to change and
(21:32):
you didn't have this moment toreally reflect?
What advice would you give topeople in that situation?
Amy Krymkowski (21:42):
Well, in the world of coaching, I used to use
a, I still use it.
It's a model.
I'll talk about a model.
And then I want to talk abouthow and what you can do when
you're sort of in that inbetween, because the reality is
is that when we make a shift,we're I always say transition is
(22:03):
between.
So you have point A and point Band the transition is the space
between.
I think that people think oftransition and they just think I
just got to get to B.
That's the tender part of thiswhole picture.
But before I mention that, Ihave a graphic that I can't show
you right now, but it's aboutwhat we call the three phases of
(22:25):
change or the change curve.
Because there's truly what wecall the five stages of change,
which is that when somebody'sthinking about a change, there's
typically the pre-contemplationstage.
So they didn't know that theywere going to be told hey, we're
going to no longer need yourservices, or your position is no
longer going to be available,and so there was not even an
(22:48):
awareness of recognizing thatsomething might happen.
Contemplation could beacknowledging that you know, I
think I might want to change, or, in this case, contemplation
was kind of forced upon thembecause it wasn't self-selected.
It was told right, you weresolid told.
Is that one phrase?
Belinda Gaston (23:08):
I've heard.
Amy Krymkowski (23:09):
So you've acknowledged that there's a
problem, but you're not ready toact.
Preparation means, okay, I'mgoing to start to get ready to
change, action means I'mactively changing.
And then maintenance I've madethe change.
How do I keep this going?
Those are five stages of change.
I want to mention it becauseit's important for people to
remember that change takes placeover time and that there are
(23:31):
stages.
There's also, though, theemotional element of what
happens during this process, andthat's where the change curve
comes in and we have sort of theloss your listeners, who may be
in roles in the federalgovernment where they were just
told, or they read about it onthe news, or however it was
(23:56):
haphazardly communicated.
What I want to do is acknowledgethat the feelings that may
happen in the beginning, ofanything from denial, anxiety,
shock, confusion that is all parfor the course, or another way
of saying it is it's normal toexperience these emotions.
That's important, because whathappens is, as time passes,
(24:24):
there will become some timewhere you have to move towards
acceptance, become some timewhere you have to move towards
acceptance, and I think thatthat can be very hard and
difficult and triggering forpeople, but the ability so you
may need to get through, beupset, have anger, have fear,
like what we've been talkingabout, maybe avoiding,
procrastinating or evensomething and what we want to
(24:47):
get to is what we call theability to recognize that.
You know what.
I'm past that initial shock,but I'm not quite to where I
find clarity and that's where wecall that second period sort of
exploration, all right.
I have energy, I'm realizing Ineed to make a change, but I
(25:09):
don't know what direction.
I don't have a destination, I'mnot sure what to do, and this
is where it's a balance Creat doI do it right?
We fall in the how hole a lot,but as we can start to accept
(25:35):
where we are and we can get thesupport and the help that we
need, we can begin to movetowards what's going to be our
next step or our new beginning.
And that's when the sense ofhopelessness begins to fade.
We begin to start to seemovement.
We might notice that ouranxiety levels are less and we
(25:58):
begin to trust the process andhave even more enthusiasm about
what's next, the future, what'sahead.
I'm spending time here becausepeople may vacillate through
these areas, meaning it's notthis linear process that it goes
from here to here.
You may find that you're backin shock and fear, but at the
(26:20):
end of the day, what's importantis to acknowledge that, as
humans, we have an emotionalreaction to change as well as
the actual process of change,and they are aligned and they
exist together.
And when we can acknowledgethat, we can to some extent
normalize the reality of theexperience, the beautiful thing
(26:43):
about the world we're in todayis there's an array of people
like me who want to help andsupport, but one of the best
things that individuals can bedoing is recognizing they're not
crazy, that it's normal andokay to have these experiences
emotionally, so that it can thenhelp lead them and guide them
towards what's next.
(27:04):
And as you incorporate thatwith the work.
That's the beauty of transitionand this is part of the
experience.
Belinda Gaston (27:11):
Yeah, and it's almost like what I heard you say
.
I mean, there was a lot thereas far as how we go through this
process.
But I hope, listeners, you'rehearing this permission to feel
what you're feeling as youchoose your actions.
I have someone who I admiresays that all the time, if you
feel the feeling, you choose thebehavior, and it's something
(27:32):
I've adopted.
Amy Krymkowski (27:33):
But it's okay to feel and it's okay to vacillate
, it's okay to feel as if, okay,I'm ready, now I move forward,
and then to find yourself thenext day back right, amy, it's
so important because I alwayslike to say there's the process
side of change and then there'sthe tactical side and there are
coaches who I would say are moretheir services and gifts are to
(27:59):
help you with the tactical.
So what's my brand?
Who am I?
What can I do?
How do I articulate this on aLinkedIn profile?
How do I articulate this in aresume?
The tactical things.
Belinda Gaston (28:11):
What am I?
Amy Krymkowski (28:11):
going to say in the interview, the interview
process, networking, all thesethings.
There's always the opportunityfor something to not go the way
you expected For you to havefive interviews and then you get
crickets and you find out thecompany hired somebody else.
(28:36):
It's a messy period.
So the ability to your point ofwaking up and saying today's
going to be a better day and,more importantly, what were the
lessons learned that I gainedfrom that last experience, how
do I leverage what I'm learning?
When you're in transition,having a capacity for learning
agility means that we canembrace.
There's a lot we may not knowand we may not meet every
(28:58):
milestone or expectation that weset, but as we're moving
through our journey, we arelearning and we can leverage our
learning to help us to refine,to help us to iterate.
I like this phrase iterate yourway to awesome, right, so we
flex and we become more agile.
(29:18):
One of the most tender parts oftransition is this in-between
stage, so that moment of beingtold the role is no longer
available to I have somethingnew.
There's a whole lot thathappens in the in-between.
They call it the messy middlein some models that I've heard,
when you've outgrown what wasbut you haven't fully stepped
(29:40):
into what's next.
And I've really coached,particularly women, to honor
this space and to not rush it.
It really requires a mindsetshift from a sense of urgency,
to trust, and I think this maybe a little bit of where your
sense of having a sense of faithand belief.
That's where we have toacknowledge that some things
(30:03):
that happen in our lives areunseen, we can't know, and we
don't know that because we livein a culture that celebrates
action.
But I believe there's power inthe pause.
Pause is where clarity beginsand it's where we can reconnect
to who we are becoming, and thatidentity shift can take time.
(30:24):
So I have a framework that Iuse a lot.
I'll just call it reallyquickly.
It's reflect, no-transcript.
(31:05):
It could mean trying out newthings or noticing what fuels
our energy and what drains ourenergy right.
So, as I mentioned before, wegrow through iteration and I
think that that's a really keypoint, and there's been studies
and research about how do adultsmake transitions and learn.
(31:27):
It's not so much about the how,it's more about the what.
What are we trying?
What's new?
What are we experimenting with?
I had a client, a gentleman thatI worked with years ago.
He had been laid off from acompany and I'll just share this
story.
He had been working in a big,big role where he had a big team
(31:48):
and he was leading and managingright, kind of making a lot of
decisions, and I remember he andhis wife decided that when it
was, he had worked at a companyfor a good time, so he had a
fairly decent package, severancepackage and they decided that
it was going to be time that hewanted.
He wanted to retire, and sothey relocated.
(32:09):
They left the West, they movedto a new state and he was
rebuilding.
And one of the things that hedid, which really helped to lead
and guide him toward a newopportunity that he never
expected he would take, is hestarted doing things that he had
always wanted to do.
So he went and volunteered inthis restaurant in his new
(32:29):
community.
He met the owner and it wasthrough that experience that
guess what happened.
While he was being a shortercook, he started noticing the
processes that were happening inthe restaurant and kind of why
the owner's restaurant wasn'tdoing so well.
I forgot to mention one of hisexpertise was process.
(32:51):
He was an engineer, he wasreally good at that and so, yeah
, that would be important tomention.
The reason I'm mentioning thisis because while he was
experimenting, he wasreconnected to his gifts, his
talents and his strengths, andthat is to look at something and
say how do we make this better,more efficient and, in this
(33:14):
case, better for the businessowner so that he could grow and
get more customers into hisrestaurant.
From that experience, that'swhen he said you know what?
I don't know, that I'm fullyready to just hand all that over
, but what I do know is I don'twant the big job anymore, I'd
like to be the advisor to theleader.
(33:36):
And so he started talking tosomebody in his new community.
He got connected to a nonprofitorganization.
The executive director at thisnonprofit met him and she loved
the way he saw things.
She loved how he could, youknow, see something that was
broken and recommend solutions.
Why am I sharing that?
Because what happened is, whenhe allowed himself to explore,
(34:01):
he got reconnected to what hereally loves.
And then he was able to say andI don't want to be the
executive director, I'd ratherbe her right hand, and it was a
female, actually executivedirector, his new boss.
So not only did he find that hewasn't really ready to fully
retire.
He found and fell back in lovewith what his gifts and talents
(34:23):
were in a way that he would havenever seen in a structured kind
of job, in a way that he wouldhave never seen in a structured
kind of job, but through justgoing off, on a whim of you.
Know, I've always wanted to dosomething, and now that I have
time and that's, I think, thebeauty of where grace and faith
come in right, it's this notionof what, if I just allow myself,
(34:45):
give myself permission to dosomething that I've always
wanted to do, I never had thetime before.
I can't tell you how much Ihear that from people.
It's hard to see in thebeginning of the loss, because
we're in that sort of emotionalstate.
It's hard for people sometimesto see the benefits of the space
, having the space to exploreand it's, and so whenever I work
(35:10):
with somebody I always sayplease don't not take advantage
of this time.
You've said you wanted to writea book, do it now.
You said you wanted to takethat trip or whatever.
You have a severance, do it now.
There's beauty and evolution andreconnection that happens in
(35:31):
the spaciousness, but we have togive ourselves permission to do
that.
And if you're somebody whomight say, well, I don't have
the ability to do that, I don'thave the funds, maybe it's not a
trip, it could just be youjournal for 10 minutes.
It could be doing breath work.
Creating spaciousness is whatwe all need because it allows us
(35:54):
to settle, and then that's whenclarity can exist.
But without it, I think thatwhat people stay in is that
state of anxiety.
They stay there and they buildupon the what ifs.
Well, what if this and what ifthat and what if this?
The what-ifs are going to keepus in a state of anxiety.
(36:15):
But if we could change that onthe dime and say, what will I do
?
How will I embrace this?
What if I just allow theseother things to happen?
So, changing maybe that nerve abit can be valuable.
I want to share also thereality of being human is that
sometimes we aren't always right.
(36:37):
Sometimes we need to listen tothe inner voice, to that deeper
message, and those messages comein signs, right.
Something doesn't quite go theway we want it to.
Maybe there's a reason for that.
Belinda Gaston (36:54):
Right.
Amy Krymkowski (36:55):
Let's not assume that that was, you know, a
barrier.
Maybe that was an open doorthat we just didn't realize,
because our brain wants to tellus it's something else, right?
Maybe that's a good thing thatit didn't happen.
Belinda Gaston (37:09):
Yes, I love it.
I love it.
This was so good.
Thank you for sharing.
I just think that story wasamazing, amy, about your client,
and it actually gave meencouragement and hope.
So let's talk a little bitabout integrating our faith.
You touched on this a littlebit, but are there practical
ways that you would tell ourlisteners that they can
(37:30):
incorporate their faith in theirdecision making when they're in
this space?
Amy Krymkowski (37:39):
their decision-making when they're in
this space.
One of the things that I wantto say to your listeners is that
I've learned that faith doesn'talways show up as certainty.
Sometimes it's the decision tomove forward without it right.
That's when moments ofstillness or surrender really
become essential.
One of the most powerfulexperiences that I've had was
(38:00):
during silent meditation retreat.
This is where you kind of gooff the grid, you are observing
noble silence and you are movingthrough the world without
speaking.
And what I found is it took menearly three days to fully drop
down from my head to my heartand body, but once I did, I
(38:21):
could truly listen, and that'swhen clarity emerges.
So in my coaching, I integratepractices that support this kind
of deeper listening.
These are simple, inclusivepractices.
I've mentioned some alreadymindful breathing, maybe
journaling but asking evendeeper, reflective questions can
(38:45):
be really valuable.
I'd like to share a few withyour listeners who may be
experiencing transition orquestioning what's next?
So the first is what am I beinginvited to?
Let go of what's asking to betrusted, even if it's not fully
formed Right?
(39:08):
And another one is where am Ibeing called to move with
courage, not certainty.
To move with courage, notcertainty, and so, in this case,
faith becomes more of an anchor, not a prescription, but a way
of being that allows foruncertainty, growth and grace,
(39:39):
and for many of my clients thatshift from needing all the
answers to trusting the right.
Next step is where the realtransformation begins yeah, we
need all that.
Belinda Gaston (39:45):
I need to know exactly.
Lord, tell me where I'm goingto be, what I'm going to be
wearing, how am I going to do it?
That's a really great point tocut to just when we get out of
that place of wanting all theanswers and just needing the
certainty and just that's.
That's really really good, right.
So we're going to wrap up.
(40:06):
I feel like this went by sofast, but are there any
practical tools or advice you'dlike to share beyond what you've
already shared?
What you've already shared, andare there final things that
you'd like to say to ourlistener, to that leader who is
in the middle of transition, whomay recognize that there's a
(40:27):
pivot or have been forced tomake a pivot?
Are there any final thoughtsyou'd have to share with our
listeners around those things?
Amy Krymkowski (40:33):
Yes, a couple of things.
One is, I think that when womensense a transition is near but
they're not sure where to start,I know that many of your
listeners who've been impactedthrough the changes at the
federal government level, thetransitions here whether we
wanted it to have that happen ornot, the parachute was pulled.
But being unsure of where tostart is real and I always say
(40:56):
start with curiosity, notpressure.
One simple first step is tojust pause and check in with
what I call your internalcompass, the sage power of
navigate.
That means it's part of youthat knows how to make a
decision that's aligned withyour deeper values and your
(41:17):
long-term vision, even when it'sthe next step can feel foggy
With the Navigate Power.
What we do is we in time and weimagine what would our wiser
elder self say to us?
So imagine myself at, let's say, age 90.
When I think about the momentI'm in right now, what would my
(41:39):
wiser elder self tell me?
That's the ability to listen toour internal compass.
Because often what people sayis oh my gosh, this moment I'm
in is just a moment.
It's not the full definition ofwho I am.
But this is important why Ilike supporting clients in
clarifying their values, becausethose values become the filter
(42:04):
through which you make alignedchoices.
When you know what trulymatters to you whether that's
creativity, stability, impact orfreedom you can start making
small decisions that point youin that direction.
So getting clear on value thatcan be done through assessment,
that can be done throughconversation.
(42:25):
Value clarity is key whenyou're just getting started
Believing in the ability thatyou have an internal compass
that can let you know more aboutthe direction you want to go in
, but then getting clear aboutwhat direction that is and start
to make small decisions thatpoint you in that direction.
(42:47):
One last thing is to alsoconsider journaling, which is
you know, where in myprofessional life do I feel most
energized?
When has that happened in myprofessional life?
Do I feel most energized?
When has that happened andwhere did I notice myself
feeling the opposite, feelingmore drained?
That can also be a reallybeautiful way to reconnect
yourself with your vitality andbegin moving from stuck to
(43:11):
curious right.
So getting more curious aboutwhat led to that energy, what
was going on for me at the timewhen I was in that position or
in that role or at that company?
Was it my teammates?
Was it my boss?
Was it my work?
What was it?
(43:41):
See who gain momentum as theybegin to step in and call in.
What they want from this pointis that they show up.
So that's really key becauseit's in.
You know, we talked earlierabout being driven by fear, and
when we get driven by fear, it'seasy to operate then or stay in
isolation, and that's probablythe worst thing to do.
People who show up, they stayin dialogue, they seek out
(44:03):
feedback, they seek out support,they stay open to the process
even when it's uncertain, andtheir willingness to stay
connected to themselves and thework is what creates the clarity
over time.
Patience is key, but notallowing ourselves to fall prey
to fear and fall prey toisolation.
(44:24):
That does not help us.
So what I'd want to say that,could you know, that may
encourage your listeners is forwomen listening who feel stuck
or scared or uncertain.
I just want you to hear.
You are not broken.
You are simply in a season ofbecoming.
There's something in you thatknows it's time for change, even
(44:48):
if you can't name it yet, butthere's that yearning that you
may feel right.
That's your wisdom speaking.
It's not to pressure you, butto invite you.
This is an invitation for youto slow down and listen and give
yourself radical permission towant something more.
(45:11):
So just remember you don't haveto leap today, but you do
deserve to begin.
Belinda Gaston (45:21):
I think that is a great place for us to end, amy
.
There's a lot to digest here.
I think that taking some timeto reflect on the questions that
Amy posed and even thatinvitation to start today is
really good, and I know that Ifound value in it.
Listen, if you want to stay intouch with Amy, I'd like for Amy
(45:44):
for you to tell us how can weconnect with you and share
anything that you're working onthat our listeners might find
valuable.
Sure.
Amy Krymkowski (45:52):
And thank you for the opportunity just to
share some of those importantnuggets.
Ways to stay in touch with meis I have a mailing list and
I'll make sure to provide youwith that, but it's
wwwamykronkowskicom slash.
Let's stay connected with somedashes in between, so I want to
make sure I send that to you,belinda, so you can share that.
(46:12):
I want to share updates andevents and reflective prompts,
ways to help people stay, youknow, guided and supported in
what they're going through.
Right, meeting you where youare.
I also offer a masterclass,which you mentioned, my Realign
your Career Reset Masterclass.
I just got done offering it inMarch in honor of Women's
(46:36):
History Month, and so I'm goingto be looking to redo it again,
either this later this spring orin the summer.
So another way to say if youstay connected with me, you'll
learn about that.
And lastly, I have a groupcoaching program called Pause
and Pivot, and so those arereally for people who feel like
it's really designed forprofessionals and leaders who
(46:56):
are really ready to startaligning their work with what
truly matters.
So things that I'm saying todayyou're like yep, yep, yep, I'm
all good, I'm ready.
That's a six-week coachingprogram, pause and Pivot, and
I'll be offering and sharingwith you, belinda, the link for
the wait list for that, so thatI can begin to communicate with
you to tell you more.
So, no matter really where youare on your journey, just
(47:20):
remember, clarity comes throughmovement, right, and you don't
have to do it alone.
Belinda Gaston (47:28):
Excellent and for our listeners.
I will put in the show notesall of the information that Amy
shared, so you'll be able tofind the link on how to stay in
touch with her.
Information about pause andpivot coaching program, as well
as her masterclass, will all bethere.
So thank you again, Amy, forsharing.
I think this is very helpfulfor those who are in transition,
(47:49):
who are considering a pivot,who may feel a nudge and not
know where to start.
I think you gave some greatinformation.
Thank you for being on with ustoday and for our listeners,
thank you for tuning into theGraced to Lead podcast.
I appreciate you supporting uswith season two.
If you found this helpful, I'mgoing to ask that you do a
(48:10):
couple things.
One is, if you're listening tothis on a podcast platform, go
ahead and subscribe to the showso that you can get all of our
notifications and also sharethis with others.
Share this with others that youthink might find value in the
Graced to Lead podcast.
So thank you again.
Thank you, Amy, for being here.
Amy Krymkowski (48:29):
Thank you, belinda.
Thank you for the opportunity.
I'm hoping some of those keymessages just around change how
we change and really givingourselves the space to evolve.
Belinda Gaston (48:42):
Thank you.
Thank you and thank you againfor listening to the Graced to
Lead podcast.
Until next time, remember, youare indeed graced to lead.
Bye-bye.
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