February 14, 2025 • 68 mins
How do we embrace our inner beauty in a world where humility and authenticity often clash? Join us as we sit down with Heather Reddick, a pillar of our community, and explore her incredible journey from Michigan to Texas, where her passion for music ministry and education led her to become a guiding force in both entrepreneurial and church settings. Heather shares her insights into the delicate balance of personal and professional life, offering a heartwarming perspective on serving others through her God-given gifts.
Heather and I navigate the complexities of true versus false humility, discussing how accepting compliments can be a form of honoring our creator. Through candid conversations and biblical references, we explore the importance of genuine connections, especially in an age dominated by digital communication. From family dynamics to the vibrant community practices of Jesus and the Apostle Paul, this episode reinforces the significance of face-to-face interactions while acknowledging the role of technology in modern relationships.
We also embark on a deep dive into heart-centered living and its impact on relationships, spiritual practices, and even wedding planning. Heather opens up about her mission to serve brides with compassion through her business, Life Events. Whether discussing teaching children respectful communication or encouraging community engagement through the principles of the Book of Acts, this episode is a treasure trove of wisdom, inviting you to foster deeper connections and live with intention.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Nicole Cater, your host, founder and
servant leader of GracevilleCommunity.
I want to thank you for tuningin to Graceville Community
Podcast.
This is a safe space, a placein which we just share stories
of how God has touchedindividuals' lives all across
the world and how they are nowimpacting the kingdom of God.
(00:21):
Thank you for tuning in.
Blessings to you.
Hey there, grace Field podcastlisteners.
I am so excited, truly deep downexcited, for our podcast and
our session today.
First, I want to thank you, asalways, for tuning in to
Gracefield Community.
(00:42):
We are all about carrying eachother's burdens and sharing love
amongst each other, as well asour number one thing is
discipling as we get closer andcloser to Jesus Christ.
So, as you're tuning in today,I have a near and dear friend
that I'm excited for theconversation.
(01:02):
This is going to be so much fun, y'all so much fun.
I'm going to be so much fun,y'all so much fun.
I'm going to tell you a littlebit about her.
So she is a loving wifecelebrating 14 years this year.
She is a firm mama, but thegreatest thing that I love is
that she has an amazing heart.
You know, listeners, I'm allabout servanthood, leadership.
(01:26):
I'm all about how you treatpeople and I have seen her day
in and day out love individuals.
She has amazing heart.
Her husband is so much fun.
He happens to serve alongsidemy husband at our church in our
live productions, and she is agroup leader so she teaches
(01:48):
people, disciple people.
I mean all the things, guys.
I could keep going and goingand going, but let me pause so
we can get into it.
Help me welcome Heather Reddick.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Thank you.
Such a great intro, I love it.
Thank you.
That's a great intro, I love it, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Oh, it is my pleasure .
I'm so excited to have thisconversation I mean kind of like
we do over coffee or so forth,but I'm just excited that we
have a chance, and it's ascheduled opportunity, to do
this today.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yes, yes, and to share with other people.
Hopefully, and don't mess it up, there's no mess ups, because
we're just being authentic, somessy is good.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Oh yeah.
So I know I gave an intro, butyou know you may want to tell
the listeners a little bit moredetail, or just let's just start
.
Tell us about yourself, Y'all.
Let know you may want to tellthe listeners a little bit more
detail, or just let's just start.
Tell us about yourself, Y'all.
Let me tell you we have noagenda.
We are just talking life today.
Ok, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
So I mean we could go into it, but I mean we'd be
here forever.
This podcast would probably belike three books, right.
So let's just, let's just beeasy.
I'm originally.
I was born and raised inDearborn, michigan, and then
raised in Canton, michigan, soabout 30 minutes from Detroit.
(03:15):
And then I came to Texas to goto school at Arlington Baptist
College.
I studied Bible and musicministry and then served at my
church for 10 years previous toGateway, and then I started a
business about 10 years ago.
So actually this Septemberwe'll be setting our anniversary
(03:37):
birthday in September for 10years.
So I'm kind of excited andnervous and all things about
that.
It's like having a child, I'veheard like starting a business
is like having a child andrealizing that you have to let
God take care of it, even thoughit's in the secular world.
(03:59):
You know, I didn't.
Actually I haven't.
Well, I'm still trying topursue music ministry at Gateway
, but we know how that is.
It's a lot I do.
I do serve on at the GatewayPerforming Arts, so I still use
my music ministry that way andstuff.
But I know everybody wants toserve on platform.
(04:20):
So but you know when, wheneverGod says okay, okay, come on in,
then I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
so oh yeah oh yes I love it okay, so interesting
though.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Um, so you went to arlington bible college yeah,
baptist baptist college, it'snow called arlington baptist
university awesome.
They've extended their programsto other things and stuff like
that, but it was mainly ministryfocused.
So pastors, music ministers,youth ministers would go through
that, and then I was probablyone of a few women that actually
(05:00):
did the ministry part of themusic.
Most of them did musiceducation yes which I did.
I actually taught musiceducation at Fort Worth ISD for
three years and then taughtprivate music and private
schools at Fellowship Academy inKinnendale for a couple years.
So I mean I have a teachingwell, had a teaching certificate
(05:24):
.
I don't have one now, but yeah,I mean I loved, I learned a lot
in teaching.
Teaching is brutal and good allat the same time, like it was.
It was hard, I'm not gonna,i'm'm not gonna lie, but it
definitely woke you up to a lotmore responsibilities.
(05:47):
And then it woke you up toculture and how other families
work.
Like there's some families thatjust don't pour into their kids
and then there's families thatpour so much into their kids
because they want so much, andthat was beautiful to see and
stuff.
So, yeah, yes, yeah.
I got all kinds of background.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I know I'm like I'm loving it, so I'm learning
something new right now, likeyeah, you wouldn't know that by
my group.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding, we're sosilly, okay, sorry oh well, I am
with you.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I totally understand and you brought up a great point
.
Entrepreneurship is like havinga baby.
It's this baby that you birthand then you're developing and
grow and it has the pains, likeI feel like it has the birth
pains, it has the toddler pains,it has the like, adolescent
like all right, and it alsocarries those rewards right.
(06:46):
There's these like high momentsof it and so, yes, I just want
to acknowledge and celebrate youfor 10 years, because that is a
huge accomplishment.
Being myself being in businessfor myself for 15 years, I know
there are some crying nights,there are some.
There was plenty of momentswhere it's like.
(07:06):
I quit like I'm firing myself.
We're done.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Here's your pink slip .
Oh, my goodness, I don't knowwhy it.
I mean I mean because I haven'texperienced like actual
childbirth myself and we canprobably get into that another
time, but I have heard thatbuilding it up, there is some
(07:35):
kind of encouragement that youhave to give into the business
and stuff.
And so, through all of this Iwant to tie this in biblically,
because God has shown memanagement, and not just
building a business, butbuilding family, building your
marriage, building relationships, building your church, building
(07:55):
yourself, I mean the buildingrelationship with him.
There's so much to manage,there's so much to manage, and I
think that I think that's whyhe gave us the Sabbath, because
he knew we would have to manageall of these things.
and he's like, okay, take abreak and I'm like okay, I get
(08:16):
that, I get that now.
So like pouring into something,investing in something, not
just financially, but the hoursthat you put into it, and then
also the thoughts and thestrategies and the creative
things that you have to manageand put into building that, and
then shaping it and then gettingpeople on board with your
(08:40):
vision and trying to say, okay,this is what I want to do.
So if you're not excited aboutit, they're really not going to
be excited.
It's like presenting presentingyour child.
This is my kid.
Right, I don't want to play withhim, or thing where somebody is
going to adopt him so that hecan play with somebody.
Oh my gosh, I don't know.
(09:02):
Oh my gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Oh no, I love it.
That's so true.
You know, one of the thingsthat was the greatest, like,
I've studied Sabbath over time,right, I grew up in ministry,
grew up in the church, startedministry at a very young age,
have experienced my young age,have experienced my definitely
(09:31):
my own share of like church hurt, seeing all aspects of behind
the scenes, right, and one thingthat really stood out to me,
that was said to me aboutSabbath, was Sabbath is about
the trusting relationship thatGod can carry it.
And I was, like you know, I hadheard and I had tried
Sabbathing for so many years andwas like I'm not getting this
(09:52):
right.
Like you know, who has time torest, how does, how do you rest?
Like you know, I felt like I'mwasting productivity, like all
these thoughts I would have andI would struggle with Sabbath.
I remember hearing that andthinking that's what it is.
It's literally trusting that.
God, you gave me six days andon that seventh day not only is
(10:16):
this a gift from you that you'resaying, hey, do something you
enjoy, rest, like, take care ofyour own self, take care
yourself, all aspects rightspiritually, emotionally,
mentally, physically.
Like, take this and trust mewith the rest, oh my gosh.
And so yes, when I talk topeople that are struggling when
(10:38):
it comes to sabbath, it's veryinteresting you mentioned the
time because I also find thatthey struggle with both, like it
tends to be that when theystruggle with the tide, they
also struggle with the Sabbath.
Oh that's good.
That aspect of like I got tocontrol it and I'm not sure if
you can take it Right.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
So good, yeah, yeah, because I mean I know that.
Okay.
So I love giving.
I love presents.
Christmas is my favoriteholiday.
My birthday, I love.
I would love to give peoplepresents on my birthday and I
like receiving them.
I'm not, I'm not gonna lie Ilove receiving them, but I would
(11:19):
rather give.
However, there was a point in mylife that I had a hard time
receiving.
When people gave to me, I feltunworthy.
I felt like my identity likedidn't deserve this and stuff,
and a lot of that came fromstuff that was taught to me that
(11:40):
was untrue, not not by aparticular person, but by
particular people that didn'theal, that haven't, that didn't
get the moment to heal forthemselves and to actually learn
.
God is love, he's so love he Imean, his name is love that if
(12:02):
you don't know God, you don'tknow love.
It's like they're one in thesame.
And so when you're pushing hisjudgments and you're pushing his
, the fear of God and all ofthis other stuff, you're only
getting part of who he is.
You're missing the main partand stuff of of who he is and
(12:22):
stuff.
And so when you're learningabout resting, I don't deserve
rest.
When you're learning abouttithing, I don't deserve the 90
percent.
You know, all of that otherstuff just comes in and to play
in it and it fight.
It's almost like it's fightingeach other when you're when
you're doing all that stuff.
So, oh gosh, that is so, so, sogood.
I'm going to write that down.
(12:42):
Yeah, when you like, sabbathand tithe go together, so true.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yes, you know.
Something you said actuallybrings me to just my own
personal like growth that I hadto walk through is even how I
looked at what it was to behumble, right.
Yeah, Like you said not that onespecific person taught me, but
just over the years, right, likewatching people, I'm like, ooh,
(13:09):
they're really prideful, like Idon't want to be that, right.
And then watching people thatI'm like, oh, they're so humble
Like they don't even think thatthey can go to cheesecake
factory today.
Right, like the problem, likeyou know, oh, I had cheesecake
factory.
Oh, there's people with no food.
I'm like, oh, do I should?
I feel bad that I got to eatout?
Right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
And so.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I I had a struggle balancing like what true
humility was, and I think that Igot into a place of what we
would call like false humility,right Of like okay, almost like
trying to portray that there'sthis level of humbleness or
humility, because I don't wantsomeone to kind of see me as
(13:52):
prideful Right.
So it's again another aspect oftrying to control right, like
I'm trying to control anarrative that somebody else
sees, and I think that happensso often and I'm just going to
like I'm going to jump into atopic of church, right, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Come on Church and community.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Here we go, but I think that happens within church
and community and I'm soexcited that the conversation is
coming out more and more ofbeing our authentic self, right
like not hiding, not having thepretense, but really saying like
, hey, like, these are mystruggles no, this is not my
(14:31):
struggle, but this is mystruggle and I need community in
this and I don't need to hidefrom it, right right because.
I think the false humility whichI would say is when someone
pretends to be one way, so theypretend to be humble, but
they're actually acting out ofan ego Cause, even if you have
false humility like at thatpoint in time I was about like
(14:52):
trying to protect my ego still,right, yeah, yeah, so it really
wasn't.
And it turns into pride, and itturns into pride and then you
act from places of it, Right.
So then you start to be likeyou know excessively, like
putting yourself down,deflecting praise, like someone
says thank you, and then you'relike, oh, I just got this from
the dollar store.
No, just say thank you Like itwas a compliment Except yeah.
(15:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I still struggle with that too, and even with my
husband so he'll.
He'll tell me how beautiful Iam.
And even with my husband, sohe'll tell me how beautiful I am
.
I mean, come on y'all Right now.
But yes, I am accepting that hesees me as beautiful and stuff.
So I have to see myself thatway too.
And I am so thankful that Ihave a husband that speaks life
(15:44):
into me and speaks beauty intome too, because it actually does
something to my soul when hesays those things.
That's the same thing with thefather, when we start reading
things about how he thinks of us, how how we we are, who we are
in him.
And I think sometimes humilityis so that we can keep ourselves
from falling.
I think it's okay to fall.
(16:06):
I think God has already said Isent my son because I knew you
were going to fall and this wasin the past.
So he's already looking at myfuture and your future and
everybody else's future andsaying, okay, I knew you're
going to do that.
It's okay, you can come back tome because I'm available.
(16:27):
You're that prodigal daughter.
I'm here with my arms open wide.
I'm going to actually run tothe gate and come get you, you
know that kind of thing and thatis so foreign sometimes to our
human viewing, physical lifemindset.
We can't get it out of our headthat somebody would actually
(16:49):
love us, even when we're yucky.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yeah, yeah, you know, um, there are times where, like
you know how you go into astudy and you're like I'm not
going to lie y'all, so I'm justgoing to say it.
Sometimes I choose the Biblestudy Cause I'm like this one's
going to be easy, be easy, right, five days.
Yeah, you know, we'll do thisone.
This will be easy, fly throughthis study, right, yeah, and
(17:13):
then it's like those are theones I have learned to stop
saying that, because those arethe ones where I'm like oh, we
got a lot to work on, huh that'sa little harsh.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Well, it's five days.
I gotta fit all this in fivedays.
Yeah, those tend to be thehardest ones.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, yes and so I remember I had chose this study.
I'm like this is gonna be easy.
You know, this is.
It's almost like I'm gonnacheck the list with this one,
right, yeah, yeah.
And in this study it was um, astudy on identity, where I'm
like, okay, cool, yep, you know.
You know, you think you'vearrived in a certain area
(17:50):
quickly learn, humble yourself,you have not arrived, right.
And so it was our identity.
And one of the things that saidwas that and we go back to this
whole aspect again abouttrusting God, right, that when
we cannot accept a complimentthat is relative to our creation
(18:11):
so even if it's like, hey,you're beautiful, hey, you're
kind, hey, you are very patientLike when we don't accept that
compliment because we'rethinking about the times that
maybe we're like I didn't feelbeautiful, I've gained 20 pounds
, like, or you know, like Ididn't, I wasn't very patient
with my kids.
You're seeing me patient rightnow.
(18:32):
Right, yeah, when I'm notaccepting that, I'm essentially
not accepting God and hiscreation, because I am his
creation and he created thosethings in me and those things
are good and he created thosethings in me and those things
are good.
And he called them good, hecalled them lovely, right, and
(18:53):
he tells me to speak unto thosethings.
And so when I denied it, it wasme denying even his goodness.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
And I remember doing that study of like man like oh,
I just won in five days just onein five days oh, man, yeah, and
then it gets you oh, dang it,and you think about it too that
he made us in our life, that hemade us in his likeness, and so
(19:22):
if we're saying we're notbeautiful, we're saying he's not
beautiful.
Nicole, nicole, I only came onhere for a second you know how I
say it.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
all the time I'm like every time I have a speaking
engagement, I'm going to teach aclass or something.
It's like you dive into it.
And then I'm like this was forme.
Now I got to come up here andteach what I'm working through
now, because now this was for me.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Oh, man, yeah Dang it .
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Oh sorry, that's probably a bad way oh my gosh.
That's the goodness, but I thinkthat's the great part of
community, right, yeah, becauseeven like right now and having
that conversation, like thereare things that you and I are
like oh yeah, we got to work onthat, or oh yeah, this cause we
haven't arrived.
I say it all the time, fromglory to glory to glory, until
that day that we are in theheavenly place with the father,
(20:15):
and so that's the benefit ofcommunity.
Right, like calling thosethings, speaking truth and love,
being able to call those thingsin love and be with that person
.
Right, be present to walk withthem through the valleys and the
mountaintop.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Right, yes, yes, yeah , and knowing that sometimes
there's conversations that needto be had between that person
and then sometimes there's justsitting, let's just chat, let's
just get it all out, what'sgoing on with you, I mean I
(20:51):
appreciate you in that becauseyou just, I mean, when you call
us out and say, hey, let's comeand have some coffee, let's just
chat, it's just so relievingand I love that.
I love about you and that you,you want to get that, you know
environment with people and itis such community.
There is so much community tothat and I think we've forgotten
(21:11):
that.
I mean, I, I don't want to putdown technology because we're
using technology, right, right,but um, I, I think technology
has one of two things it hasallowed us to be more open in
our conversation, but it hasn'tallowed us to benefit the
(21:34):
reciprocal exchange fromface-to-face exchanges and stuff
and a lot of that I think hasto do with pride too.
And my point like if I'm goingto say something to somebody, I
really don't want them to saysomething negative.
I really want them to just hearme out and just kind of listen,
and not everybody's like that.
Some people are like well, girl,let me tell you what to do and
(21:57):
I'm like I don't want you totell me what to do and I'm not
brave enough to say please don't.
And I'm not brave enough to sayplease don't, right, you know.
But at the same time Isometimes I need to hear it.
I sometimes I'm being stubbornand I don't want to hear what
the other person is saying.
So I grew up with three sistersand very, very opinionated.
(22:23):
I love them so much, but theyall have their opinions of and
we all grew up completelydifferent.
All four of us like totallydifferent lifestyles, but we
love each other, we love hangingout with each other and they
will share their viewpoints ofhow things should and shouldn't
be.
And sometimes I'm like youdidn't have to, you really
(22:47):
didn't, I mean, but I love themjust the same.
I know that, I know they meanwell, I know they want the best
for me, and so that's what Iwalk away with, like Facebook
posts and things like that.
That's where we're missing thatdisconnect, because we don't
(23:08):
know the person.
I mean, we've connected withthem via internet but we haven't
really experienced who they are, because I can't see your face
and I can't hear your tone and Idon't, I don't know if you
honestly mean, well, you know,know, I mean you come back every
week to add a comment here, butare you really invested in my
(23:28):
life, you know full time andstuff, or are you just you need
something to do because you'rebored?
Yeah, no, I'm not dissingtechnology, because I use it.
I use it all the time.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I mean, I tell people , even when it comes to AI, I'm
like I have a love haterelationship, right, because I
use AI.
But I'm also like, is it takingaway even the critical thinking
aspect, the ability to goresearch?
I remember as a kid when Iwould say what does this word
mean?
My mom would say go get adictionary.
And I would have to go get thebig Merriam-Webster and figure
(24:01):
out what does this word mean?
right, and I find myself like asa millennial, now a parent
telling them go Google.
And it's like I also don't wantto turn them to Google because
who knows what's going to pop up, right.
Right, but that is their modernday dictionary, right, yeah,
yeah, but it's funny how youmentioned, like, the ability to
(24:24):
view and see each other and see,like you know, facial
expressions.
My face will always tell.
I do not have the type of facethat finds what I'm thinking
right.
So sorry, I can be inconversation's so funny,
(24:46):
especially my husband, because Ican be in conversation or not
even say anything yet and he'slooking.
He's like what does that mean?
And I'm like what do you mean?
What does that mean?
He's like your face tells itall.
Like, oh, I'm really trying towork on that, like, but I just
real quickly was like you knowwhat, and this is my love, hey,
(25:06):
yeah, so I real quickly typed in.
I'm like what are thestatistics on body language?
Right, because I know there'sstatistics, but I don't know
them offhand.
So here they are.
But it stated that like um per,and I can't even pronounce this
guy's name.
Albert Merherbian probably saidthat.
Totally wrong y'all.
So if you're listening, yes, Ibutchered it, if you know how to
(25:27):
say it, then please send us arecording yeah, you know it's
m-e-h-r-a-b-i-a-n but accordingto Albert, this person's
research, it said that sevenpercent of meaning is conveyed
through words Only 7% you didnot 7% through our words.
(25:50):
Then 38% is conveyed throughvoice.
So if we think, if we're onsocial media, if we're texting
all the time, only 7% of ourmeeting is what's being conveyed
.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Then if we're doing, let's say we're doing the audio
recording, then we get like the7% plus the 38%, but that still
is not even 50, right, we are solow.
55% is communicated throughbody language.
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
As to your very point, like wehave pulled away from aspects
(26:29):
community that was originallycreated.
Even when I think about jesus,right, he gave us so many
examples of community.
He gathered their disciples Ilove this part which I refer to
often.
He broke bread, like he sharedmeals.
Yeah, even taught in parables.
That was relative to theimportance of community, of
(26:50):
illustrating, like, how peoplework together.
He served others, he prayedtogether, right, yeah, he gave
us the example of what we shouldbe doing in community.
And although we have, yes, allthis modern day, and y'all hear
me out, because what we shouldbe doing in community and
although we have, yes, all thismodern day, and y'all hear me
out, because what we do here atGraceville Community is we work
(27:11):
with churches, we work withindividuals, we do digital
marketing.
So I'm not like anti this, likey'all, this is what we do,
right?
We help churches know how tooutreach.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yes, so good.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
We help business owners, like outreach, using
digital marketing, so I I oftenrefer to like Paul wrote letters
because that's what Paul had inthat time.
We do social posts right,that's what we have, yet it
doesn't remove our requirementto come together as community.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Right, yeah, oh my gosh, I'm just thinking about
all of the like, every singlescripture piece that we have and
like this this is only sevenpercent of what god's intentions
were like if we were only there.
But then he gives us the holyspirit, and so we're still
(28:05):
feeling like we're just getting.
We're just getting the half ofit, like not even a half a
portion of all that he has instore for us, right?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
so good, right, hey, let's take a quick break to tell
you about grace filledcommunity grace filled community
is an organization that focuseson the primary principles of
the Church of Acts, centeredaround building communities that
(28:39):
impact the kingdom of God.
We do this through three coreextensions.
One, gracefield Church Network,where we empower churches and
nonprofits for God's success andgrowth.
We offer tailored growthstrategies rooted in biblical
principles that will help youexpand your reach and impact
(28:59):
your communities.
Just like the early church, wefocus not on attendance and
numbers, but on discipleship,providing leadership teachings
and trainings to today'sministry leaders.
Our second extension is Projectof the Grace Field, where we
provide biblical counseling,mentorship workshops and events
(29:21):
that are dedicated toencouraging individuals to live
a life filled with grace andpurpose, rooted in the
understanding that all havefallen short and are a working
project.
Let us help the individuals inyour community grow as they walk
with God and experience thefullness of his love.
Our third extension isgrace-filled business.
(29:45):
Grace-filled business is hereto help small faith-based
business owners develop theirbusiness in a way that honors
God, that brings increase andallows them to pour back into
his kingdom, through marketplaceministry and financing his
kingdom.
We do this through our 15 yearsof experience of virtual
administrative work, digitalmarketing, business development
(30:08):
and consulting.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Welcome back digital marketing business development
and consulting.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Welcome back, which is, I think, why my heart really
is and, um, you've had time,like you know me intimately,
right but my heart really is forcommunity.
Yeah, I've been in spacethroughout my experiences, right
, which I want to transition ina moment and, like, let me share
some of your experiences whereyou've seen God in the midst.
(30:37):
But, you know, I sit and Ithink about, like, some of my
greatest times where I wasdepressed, where I wanted to
take my life, where I attemptedto, where, like, I was just in
this state and it was loneliness, it was a lack of community
around me, and not that therewasn't people, but was there
(30:57):
true intimacy?
Was I being vulnerable enoughto share?
Like this is what I'm goingthrough, or did?
Was I at the time?
Was I in a church where I hadto be in this pretense to make
it seem like everything's okay?
or could I be vulnerable and bereceived well in just that?
I'm struggling and I'm not okay.
(31:18):
So good, and that's why it's soimportant to have community and
have those people around youthat can sit, be present.
No, we don't have to have theanswers to it, all right.
Right, but even just theability to be present.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah, yeah.
Or just sitting and looking upthe answers together yes, like
finding the answers together,like do you want to research
with me?
I love studying the Bible.
It's one of my favorite thingsever.
And I actually came across theword fear and there's two words
for fear in the Greek languageand so, like, when you're using
(31:58):
the word, when you're readingthe words in scripture and stuff
like that, you have tounderstand that there's double
meaning sometimes to the wordthat we transliterated into this
word that they gave to us andstuff.
So.
So, to give a little background, I, I too, had an experience
where I tried to take my lifeand, believe it or not, I was at
(32:24):
school, I was at college Biblecollege of all places, bible
college of all places and to notfeel that intimacy, um, they
didn't know what to do, andthat's not a shame on them, it's
why, why have it?
It's really not even a shame atall.
It's basically they justweren't taught either, and so
(32:47):
it's a continual thing, and Iknew I had to find something
different.
I knew that something differentwas more was out there, and so
I asked the hard questions and Iasked why are we doing this?
What is the purpose for this,and I tend to do that a lot.
I do that to my husband and Iknow I get on his nerves.
(33:08):
I what is the intent behind whywe do what we do?
And I think that's where God is.
It's not that he wants ourobedience, it's that he wants
our heart in the obedience.
It's the intention behindeverything.
Like, what is the purpose ofyou saying yes?
I mean yeah, I get it.
(33:29):
I have all these benefits foryou.
I do want, but I do, I do wantthis, I want relationship, I
want to dive into that.
And so when I was going throughthat period at my school, it
really was a point where I justcouldn't find that in people.
(33:50):
I didn't find that closecommunity that somebody sit with
me for a long period of timeare you, are you there with me?
This like through this wholething I I had a hard time with
(34:11):
people.
People were afraid to come andtalk to me after afterwards to
ask you know, even to ask areyou OK?
You know it was few and farbetween and I know that they
wanted to, but they just didn'tknow how.
And so I think that's wherewe're lacking in churches period
, no-transcript.
(34:51):
Be, I actually had a friend.
She said, heather, somethingthat they would do is if they
wanted you to come over fordinner it wasn't just two hours
and then you're gone, kind ofthing.
It was let's sit and chat firstand then we'll have dinner, and
then let's sit and chat somemore.
And the pace of everything wasso slow, so what we would be
(35:16):
like snail's pace.
I can't do this.
It's too, it's too slow.
And uh, she would be great totalk to.
I should get her to come on hereyes but yeah, she's, she's
amazing and um, but she, shejust said the pace of everything
was just chill, like you didn't.
You didn't have to pretendthere was no dress up, you
(35:39):
didn't have to make yourself allsomething.
You just could come as you are,how you were in that moment at
that time, and just be.
And I'm like that is so foreignhere.
We don't know what that lookslike.
And every single time we dothat we get to the place of rest
(36:01):
where we think we can rest.
We feel guilty, we literally.
I just just yesterday, sam and Itook a day off.
He actually wound up workingbecause he felt guilty, but the
whole thing was it was justsupposed to be a day off and he
(36:21):
felt so guilty for doing thatbecause we're so used to going
and going and going and I justdid a full circle with Sam.
Yes, I tied that all back inthere, but just to be I.
And I think that's where we'rescared, because we don't know
what we're supposed to be doingin that beat and that resting
(36:43):
moment, in that, in that point.
And I think that's where Irealized at that point in my
life that people just didn'tknow what to do.
They don't know what to do.
They can give examples andsuggestions and even Bible
verses to help you throughthings, but they just didn't
know.
They don't know and they'reafraid to tell you because they
(37:06):
don't want to tell you wrong orthey don't want to feel like
they're arrogant or they want tobe humble and all these other
things.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
So I get it people, we're all, we're all there,
we're all still learning and Ithink we're always going to keep
learning yeah, no, definitely,you know you bring up such a
good point, um, when I had myexperience, very similar, um, I
was not at bible college but Iwas very active in a church,
right, um, when I say veryactive, like Isaiah and I were
(37:34):
on the pastoral team in thatchurch.
Well and um, you know, it wasone of my most depressing times
and I remember, like to thepoint of what she said, the
individuals around us was nottrained, they were not taught,
(37:55):
they didn't know what to do.
And so, because I didn't comewith the like expectation of the
normal Nicole, happy, jolly,like I got all the positivity,
like I'm your backup girl, right, that was not there, I couldn't
seem to pull it out of me,right, and so they just, they
didn't know what to do.
So then it became an avoidance,right, um, which our marriage
(38:19):
group right now is in the serieswhere we just started.
How we love, I love this studyokay it is like my third time
around with it.
I absolutely love how we love,but one of the things that it
the main thing that it divesinto is like the attachment
theory of how we were created tobe attached to our parents,
(38:39):
right, like that's how Godcreated.
For a certain period of time,you're attached to your parents
and with that attachment theory,like you learn in an early on
age, like I safe here, am Iprotected here?
Yeah, I, you know, is this agood place?
Or do I need to fend for myself?
(39:00):
Right.
And so in fending for ourselves, it looks like, okay, I need to
avoid circumstances or I needto, um, be a people pleaser
because I need to make sure thateverything is good so that I
don't cause a negativecircumstance here.
So we learn these like lovestyles that if we don't heal
from, we'll carry throughthrough, like relationships, and
(39:21):
I think about that time, whichis probably again why I can have
so much grace and empathytowards people today, right?
Because I think about that timeand in that time I'm not gonna
today, right Cause I think aboutthat time and in that time I'm
not.
I'm not going to sit here andpretend like I had empathy or
grace.
I actually became angry.
I became angry that, like I'msurrounded by people that I feel
like I've done stuff for day inand day out.
(39:43):
I feel like I've likesacrificed to the highest level.
And now, when I'm in my deepeststate, where I need community
like no one's present, yeah, andso not understanding.
At that time I was angry, like Iwas angry at them, and then I
became angry at God too, right,um, and now, in a place of
(40:03):
understanding, there's this thatpeople, if we don't heal, if
we're not taught, we run tothose things that we did at
early age, like we either avoid.
So then people were justavoiding me, right, or, um, you
know, if I'm not avoiding, thennow I'm people pleasing.
(40:26):
So now it's like, well, if sheasked for anything, we're just
going to give it to her, butwe're just going to leave her
alone until she asked forsomething, right, yeah?
Well, in that state I didn'tknow what to ask for, right,
yeah.
And so I, I tell people, like,I remember, even when we, when
we lost our, our child, and Iliterally to this day can
picture, I literally to this daycan picture, I remember the
(40:52):
exact setup of the service.
I literally can picture andtell you every person that was
there On the opposite side.
I can tell you every person thatwasn't there, I can tell you
every person that called and thepeople that didn't, especially
after the fact like, again, myown self, where Isaiah and I not
(41:16):
being taught, like I carriedthis anger towards people that
really were sitting in a stateof like I don't know what to do
with you, like I don't havewords to say I don't know what
to do with your level of pain.
I, you know, like I, they justdidn't know what to do with your
level of pain.
I, you know, like I, they justdidn't know what to do.
But in my eyes, all I seen wasyou're not present.
(41:37):
Yeah, I'm cutting you off, right, so I, like those relationships
, that really was more, theywere hurting for me, but just
didn't know how to communicateand I didn't know how to
communicate.
Like I didn't know how tocommunicate.
Like that I'm upset because Ineed you and I don't know how to
tell you to be here, right andso, again, all of that, to your
point of it's so important forus to teach these things, to
(42:01):
teach these principles,especially when we're in spaces
with the whole community, rightand so, as I think of churches,
which is one of the main reasonswhy it's graceful community.
Like we go into churches and Ido a lot of teaching and
leadership development becauseeven with like our leaders in
churches, like there has to be asafe space for them too right
(42:24):
because they're human.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
They're humans.
Yes, yes, yes, they gotta dothat too.
Yeah, it doesn't stop justbecause they have that position.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
It just means that they have more to carry so yeah,
yes, I have a question and itthis I'm like wait I don't think
I've ever had people on apodcast ask me a question.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I love this, Okay.
So how do you and this is aparenting question, because I'm
not a parent but how do youallow your children in
conversations when you'retalking to adults?
(43:09):
What is your approach?
Speaker 1 (43:12):
yes, yes.
So, um, first thing I would sayis that we have identified like
in our home we have safe space.
Literally it's called.
Well, we changed it.
We used to be called safe spaceand now we call it heart to
heart as they got older.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
We took it from.
Safe space is now you know thatwe're safe.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
And now we just want to have heart to hearts, right,
nice, so we call it heart toheart now, but we established
that.
To where that?
You knew that we're alwaysgoing to be honest with you.
You asked a question.
We believe if you're asking thequestion, you're ready for the
answer.
Right, got it, got it.
And so we had always been vocal, always gave them safe space,
always even told them that, hey,whatever comes in this safe
(43:58):
space, one you can trust thatit's staying with us.
I'm not calling my friend likegirl.
You know what this kid did?
No, it's staying with us andthere is no punishment within
safe space.
So, safe space, now we we arenot removing consequences, and
there's a big difference betweenwhat consequences and
punishment is, and that's awhole nother thing, right, but
(44:21):
there is no punishment.
But there may be consequences,like if you come in safe space
and says, hey, like this is whathappened and I'm struggling,
that well, some of consequencesare we may have to change some
boundaries to help you until youget to a place that you don't
need.
You know, yeah, I won't evensay you don't need these
boundaries, but you understandhow to create them yourself,
(44:42):
right?
yeah um and I say all that to toyour answer um, after doing
that, what our communication waswas hey, until we state that
this individual is to be a safespace in which you can be openly
(45:05):
communicative with, when we'rein the presence of, like adult
conversation, we're going to askyou to withhold from responses.
Let us go first questions.
Yeah, now we're asking you towithhold, not that we're never
going to address them, we'reasking you to withhold.
And when we come together injust our family, all questions,
(45:28):
all statements, all commentslike you got jokes about it, we
want to laugh about it.
We can do that in our safespace, okay, and so that's and
one of the things that we taughtthem about that, and as we
still do it to this day, likethere are times we come together
we're like, okay, yes, thatwould have been an appropriate
question, or hey, no, that wouldnot have been appropriate.
(45:50):
And so part of it is, you know,teaching them, and the reason
why we do this is to teach them,like, how do you have
appropriate communications?
Because at some point, I mean,I think of myself like as a I
almost said 30, I'm 40, not 30.
As a 40 year old woman, I maybe in the presence of
(46:12):
conversation with women that are70, right, and it almost is the
same concept of like.
There is a certain level ofhonor and respect that I'm going
to give them because of thewisdom and age that they have
earned, right.
So I need to understand whenit's appropriate, my responses
or my questions, versus whenthey may not be appropriate.
(46:34):
And that's essentially whatwe're teaching them over time is
we're asking you to bring it tous so that we can navigate with
you Like what is appropriate.
I mean, you know my husband, hewill openly tell you he can.
He can be very sarcastic.
So we have a child that can bevery sarcastic and it can come
off really funny and it could belike ha ha ha.
(46:54):
Yeah, in certain settings likethis is not okay, right, so we
had to do that to like, okay, inthat moment, what were you
thinking in that moment?
What would you have said?
And then walk them through like, oh, I'm so glad you didn't say
that this is what that couldhave come, or.
And then walk them through like, ooh, I'm so glad you didn't
say that this is what that couldhave come up, or like, hey,
that would have been a greatthing to say.
(47:16):
And then I think the other partabout that too is like it's also
teaching them how to dorelationships peer to peer.
Yeah, so it's not just you knowthey need to see how we do
relationships, how we managecommunications, how you know
they need to see how we dorelationships, how we manage
communications, how you knowthey've been in spaces where
they're like we know you guysdid not agree with what that
(47:37):
person said.
Okay, well, how did you see ushandle it?
Because it's teaching you howto handle your relationships
peer to peer and relationshipsthat you may have.
People that you know biblicallyhave earned the honor and
respect for you to give them acertain type of communication as
well.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Yeah, I asked that question because in a lot of
what I grew up in was, you know,children's children.
Conversations do not happenwith adults, and so when you
were a child, you went away tothe, to your room and played, or
down in the basement becausewe're in Michigan we played in
the basement with kids that werelike-minded, that were the same
(48:16):
.
However, my husband's growingup stage, he was welcome into
adult conversation and they wereallowed to talk about those
things while children werepresent, and I think a lot of
that has to do with the factthat there were godly
conversations being had.
They knew that theseconversations, if we're going to
(48:37):
talk about politics, we need tobe godly about those politics.
If we need to talk about, youknow, certain things, we need to
curb our you know what we'resaying because there are
children present.
They didn't exclude thechildren, there was an inclusion
in it, and so that is soforeign to me.
So like there are things that Iwill not say to an adult but
(48:59):
I'll say it to my peer, I'll sayit to people that are younger
than I am, or something likethat.
But then in a business setting,when you are the authority
figure, that shifts because youcan be older or younger than the
people that you're working withor that are underneath you, and
so you have to take that nowresponsibility on your shoulders
(49:22):
to manage, to dictate, todelegate to those older people
and be able to convey to them.
Okay, I know that this is whatyou want to do, but in the
vision and the structure of ourbusiness, this is what has to be
done.
I appreciate your insight andall the other stuff, and that
(49:44):
has come with training.
It's another type of managementof communication and stuff like
that too being respectful tothe other person but, at the
same time, knowing that you haveto make.
You're the one in charge tomanage what that is, because
it's going to affect you more sothan it's going to affect
everybody else.
(50:05):
I and I feel like I didn't getthat, like my mom, my mom and
dad were pretty good with youknow, be careful with what
you're, what you're going to sayto people, and don't talk like
that and you call them yes,ma'am and no ma'am.
Yes sir, no sir.
Those those respectful thingsbut I think they forgot to teach
us.
When you're in this situationand you're the younger person
(50:31):
and they're doing wrong, youhave the right to call them out
on it, because this is whatscripture is about.
We're supposed to bestrengthening and encouraging
each other in this way and sothat I I lack that sometimes.
So when I come out to somepeople and I'm harsh forgive me,
I'm still learning how to trainor I just be quiet, I've just.
(50:52):
If I'm sitting there, it'sbecause I'm just trying to be
safe.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
Oh my gosh.
Well, you know, I think one ofthe things, too, is is it runs
through all communication right?
There are key principles thatshould just happen because we're
being to being right.
One we need to recognize thatwe are all God's creation.
(51:21):
Scripture doesn't say like, oh,you know, nicole and Heather
was created in God's image, butJennifer was not right.
Right, because we were allcreated in his image.
So we're all image bearers.
Now, how we're displaying,through our actions, if the
fruit of the spirit is comingout, now that's, you know, a
different story.
(51:42):
That's what needs to beobserved.
But as far as how we treatothers like, we are image
bearers.
So one of the things that I'vealways, you know, taught our
children is that you arespeaking to someone that's an
image bearer of God, yeah, soyou need to be mindful, in
whatever communication you give,right, that that is who you're
(52:05):
speaking to, right, and thescripture says that we will be
held accountable for every word.
It doesn't say just the wordwhen we're on a platform, just
the word when we're on a podcast, like no, you're going to be
accountable for every word.
The word I gave to my husband,the word I gave to my kid, the
word I gave to the cashier.
You know every word, and inthat there's a teaching
(52:26):
component of how do Icommunicate, how do I use my
words, how do I even haveboundaries with my communication
?
Speaker 2 (52:35):
How do I?
Speaker 1 (52:35):
create boundaries for the way you can communicate to
me, right, yeah, and so I dothink that, like you said, how
Sam's family allowed him to bethere for communications, I
think that's one of the reasonswhy we don't mind their presence
, but we don't allow response,right, because you're still
developing, you're stillunderstanding is this a space to
(52:57):
give and what is an appropriateresponse?
But I do want you present, likeyou said, to Sam's family,
because I know that whateverconversations I'm a part of,
they should be centered aroundGod.
So whatever we're talking aboutlike you said, it could be
politics they should be centeredaround God.
So whatever we're talking about, like you said, it could be
politics, it could be sports, itcould be, you know, whatever it
is that we're talking about,that my words should be words
(53:21):
that are directed by and myfoundation should be in living a
God.
So it's almost like when you'represent, there's they're always
teaching moments.
Yeah, they're always teachingmoments yeah.
They're always teaching moments.
I remember when one of ourchildren was kind of going
through a going from, like Iguess we're in preteen to the
teen state Right.
Speaker 2 (53:42):
And.
Speaker 1 (53:42):
I would say we probably had thank the Lord,
cause I hear stories I'm like,oh, thank you Lord, right, but
I'd say we had about two monthswhere I was like, am I gonna
make it?
Speaker 2 (53:55):
like I'm totally failing, like am I gonna make it
.
Speaker 1 (53:57):
This is horrible.
You know, um, and I rememberyou know I'm a big believer.
I'm definitely like therapy andtheology work hand in hand.
I believe in counseling, Ibelieve in doing it on a regular
, not just when there's crisis,but that there's value in making
sure that you have someone thatyou can talk things through.
And so we did our familycounseling and I remember the
(54:20):
counselor was like okay, well, Ithink he just needs to be
present with you guys and heneeds to just be with his father
more.
Not that he wasn't present, notthat he wasn't with him, but
the key part that he said is heneeds to observe how his father
responds to circumstances and Iwas like that's the answer, like
(54:45):
what right that was it?
when I think about it, like, andwe made that shift, it became
and there was a realization thatlike, okay, when they're very
young they need mom, right, likethey need to feed them, I'm the
nurturer, I'm the like consoler, so forth.
Like it's becoming a shiftwhere they now need the, the
(55:05):
structure that comes with that,they now need some of the
teachings, right, like some of.
if I look at Proverbs, like youknow, it starts off with like
son, listen to my words, right,like, and so that's what the
shift was needed.
And they get that byobservation.
We know that, like, we can sayall the words, but they're going
(55:27):
to do what they see, and soeven in that, but they're going
to do what they see, and so evenin that.
That's why it's important toallow them to be a part of that
conversation and when I say be apart, to be in a presence where
they can hear, because they tooare observing, they're
observing.
Can you speak in kindness?
Can you speak in gentleness?
Can you carry out the fruits ofthe spirit when, um, the
(55:50):
conversation is challenging?
You don't agree.
You know, right, there's thisaspect of repair, um, that needs
to happen in relationships andthey need to see that.
That, like, if you do fall outof the fruits of the spirit and
if you do say something thatwasn't kind or gentle, do you
have the ability to repair?
Can you go back and apologize?
Can you repair thatrelationship?
(56:11):
Same for like parent to kid.
I grew up in a home where, like, it wasn't a home where the
parents apologized to thechildren, right, right, right.
And I'm very big on thatbecause that teaches the apology
relationship Like listen, Iknow I'm not perfect Y'all.
I think I'm a pretty good mama,but I'm not perfect y'all.
I think I'm a pretty good mama,but I'm not perfect right right
(56:33):
, right, I'm gonna mess up.
I'm going to even like.
You know, I, as much as I wantto keep my word, like I may have
told you, yeah, we can get icecream Friday and I forgot about
it Friday.
And then next week you're likewell, you told me ice cream, you
didn't keep my word.
Oh, my gosh, I didn't.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, there is something thatcomes with an apology and
teaching them that relationshipsshould carry apology and
(56:56):
apology.
Speaker 2 (56:57):
Yeah, that's a healthy relationship and I think
sometimes the parents refrainfrom apologizing because of that
neutral ground because it givesammunition to, I mean, no know,
for mine it would have beennice for my parents to just say
I'm sorry, you know sometimes,and stuff like that, just so
(57:19):
that they can meet me halfway,like no way, okay, I get it,
you're my, you're my parent, butyou mess up, you don't make,
you don't make good choices allthe time, you know.
Think, I think that's true forall authority, which is servant
leadership.
If you realize, you know yourservitude comes first before
your leadership and as you'reserving others and stuff like
(57:41):
that, it, it keeps you on thatplane that, yes, you have
authority, god has given youauthority and a place to put all
of that authority.
But he wants you to rememberwhere you came from, like as far
as the cert, as far as servingothers, and how you got there.
You're, you're ultimatelyserving others, right, which is
(58:02):
that whole servant leadership.
And, I think, remembering thatyou're going to mess it up, that
people mess up, make mistakes,and if we're not in that
position right now in our church, that people make mistakes,
yeah, you, and it's not going toever be perfect.
I want to find that perfectperson.
(58:23):
I just want god's man, and it'sgoing to be.
Paul wasn't perfect, peterwasn't perfect, right?
Just it's not gonna happen.
It's just not gonna happen.
However, you have to be willingto say you're sorry.
You have to be willing to say Imessed up, I screwed up, I am
so sorry, so yeah that could goon forever.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
The heart condition right like I mean if I um and oh
gosh, I'm like time has.
I mean if I um and oh gosh, I'mlike time has flew by, but I
know I'm like oh my gosh, Ibring it all together.
Like in each area that we talkabout, like when I think about
trusting God, when I think aboutrelationships, when I think
about the tide and the Sabbathand all of these components
(59:08):
right, it all leads to the heart, All of these components right.
It all leads to the heart.
It all leads to improving ourheart condition and it being
centered out of our love for God.
So good, because when the goinggets tough which it does
scripture has told us that whenwe follow Christ, there's
suffering, right, yeah, so whenthe going gets tough, it is out
(59:31):
of our love for him that wecarry through the things that we
should do, like it is in mylove for him.
I don't always, maybe, feellike having a gentle
conversation with somebodythat's not being so gentle to me
, right?
Or I don't always feel likeapologizing, especially when you
can't give me an apology backor I don't always feel like
(59:52):
sacrificing.
maybe a showing up for you andmaybe I feel like, well, you
didn't show up for me but, it'snot even out of my basis of you,
it's out of the heart of mylove for God and recognizing
that he does it for me day inand day out.
Yep, so good.
And so scripture says what morecan I do but to be a living
(01:00:16):
sacrifice?
Yeah, and so I think thatthat's just the.
I mean, I think that's the sumof it all, kind of like um.
I think it's Paul that said,like you know, the sum of it all
, kind of like um.
I think it's paul that said,like you know, the sum of it all
is to like love god and followhis commandments.
Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
right yeah, yeah, so so good, yes, so good, yes.
How much longer can we go?
I know like we totally have todo this again.
I need 20 more minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Oh, my goodness.
I mean I know we do itone-on-one at times, but we have
totally got to do this again.
I would love to have you comeback on any other time.
I know that you will probablynot say anything, but I want to
lead into it, guys, cause that'sjust how great Heather is.
She has not told you what herbusiness is, and I think it's
(01:01:13):
important for you to know whather business is, because she
does something that isphenomenal, and her heart and
her servanthood attitude I mean,trust me, you want to know what
she does and how she does it,because she does it from a
servant heart.
And I'll say this part if I washaving a wedding which I'm
planning to do our weddingcelebration Heather is the go-to
(01:01:37):
because of her heart, becauseof her heart going above and
beyond.
So I'm going to let you,because you know way more about
all that you do.
I'm like I know the component.
But yes, please, please, take amoment and just tell us about
what it is that you do, sure.
Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
So I am a wedding planner.
I started 2015.
I have actually been planningevents my whole life.
My parent, my mother, plannedevents.
She was a project manager forthe state of Michigan and
everything that we ever did wasan event, and so I have.
I am very qualified, but I loveit.
(01:02:15):
I love putting together peaceand chaos, and so my mission is
to always make things easier forthe bride.
I've done other things like notjust brides, I've done
anniversaries and birthdayparties and stuff too, but it's
just to make things easier, andso I'll do the contacts for you,
I'll do the phone calls, I'llfind the places you know.
(01:02:38):
You can come along with me.
If you're that type of person,and if you're just that type of
person that says, hey, you takeit, I don't want it, I can do
that too.
So I'm all in.
I'm wherever you need to do so.
I research anything that youneed wedding related and I help
you plan that out.
(01:02:58):
I'm very big on budgeting,staying to the structure piece,
because that's typically ourroadmap for the most part, and
then I go on to design and talkabout how you like getting into
the details.
Do you want this to be black orwhite?
Do you want this to have.
You know the floral or wouldyou rather just you know
straight lines and contemporarylooks and things like that.
(01:03:20):
So, yeah, I love, I loveplanning.
I don't do all of the design.
I usually have somebody comingin and doing the design for me,
but I know who to look for, Iknow where to go and who to send
you to.
So, but, yeah, I'm a weddingplanner.
That's what I do, and it'scalled Life Events.
Our website is lifeeventsdfwcom, and right now we are actually
(01:03:43):
getting ready to have a weddingworkshop at the end of February,
on the 23rd.
It's the beginning stages ofplanning.
So I know a lot of you will begetting engaged February 14th,
valentine's, and so this is agreat time for you to do that.
And then March 1st, we'rehaving a styled shoot.
It's called a live style shootand basically you'll get to come
(01:04:05):
and see it behind the scenes.
So we do style shoots for ourpublications and things like
that.
So if we're posting stuff onwedding, uh, or on our weddings
and things like that, this kindof helps, and it definitely
helps people who don't havethose pictures yet to get those
things out there.
Uh, it just shows you what wecan do, and so it's kind of like
a behind the scenes and you getto this venue and meet vendors
(01:04:29):
and eat so you got me, I'm inlike no, it's like.
It's like a free cake tasting,like if you wanted to meet a
baker.
The baker comes out and shebrings her food and stuff so you
can taste what she makes.
And then it's just like oh, Ijust hire you, okay, that's fine
, so it's just done.
(01:04:50):
Making.
Oh, I just hire you, okay,that's fine, so it's just done.
Making things easier, I'm allabout efficiency so yes, ma'am.
Yes.
And that's at lifeeventsdfwcom.
Sorry, I don't think I saidthat.
Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
Did I say that?
Yes, thank you, we will.
As always, listeners, you knowI'm going to have it.
It's going to be there in theshow notes.
We're going to plug in waysthat you can stay connected with
heather.
Um, I am so grateful to you,friend, for coming so much for
having me such a nice earlymorning.
I know it's like cold outsideand raining.
I'm like it is a day that youkind of just want to cuddle up.
But you came on so I did I did.
Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Thank you thank you for having me.
This was so fun, so good wecould.
We could go on forever.
Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
I know we could.
I know we could.
I'm like we can record likeepisode two to five to six.
I know we will do more.
Well, graceville listeners, asalways, I want to thank you for
taking time to tune intoGraceville Community Podcast.
Our overall goal is that youhave been inspired through the
gospel and the stories ofindividuals that have walked
(01:05:54):
with Christ and have seen him beGod, and so I hope that this
message, and this time todaywith our podcast, has inspired
you.
As always.
If you do not have communityand you are looking for
community, I want to encourageyou to join our Facebook group,
graceville Community.
Connect with us.
(01:06:15):
We also would like to get youconnected to someone local,
whether it's a church, whetherit's a ministry, whether it's
Facebook group.
We provide weekly encouraging,inspiring content for you answer
questions and give youcommunity Love.
(01:06:38):
Ya, thank you for tuning in totoday's episode of Graceville
Community Podcast.
We would like to invite you tovisit gracevillecommunitycom.
Graceville Community is allabout doing church the way
Church of Acts did, using fivemain principles that we see in
(01:06:58):
the Book of Acts Sharingresources, as believers pooled
their possessions and resourcesto support those in need, as we
see in Acts 2.44.
Those in need, as we see inActs 2.44.
Through hospitality the earlyChristians practiced hospitality
by opening their homes toothers, as we see in Acts 2 and
(01:07:19):
46.
By financial aid the church inAntioch sent financial aid to
believers in Judea during a timeof famine, as described in Acts
11 and 29.
Prayer and encouragement theysupported each other through
prayer and encouragement, as wesee in Acts 4 and 24.
(01:07:42):
And finally, spiritual guidancethe apostles and elders
provided spiritual guidance andteaching to help strengthen and
build the community, as we seein Acts 1530.
I would like to encourage you.
If any of those areas are areasin which you are in need or can
(01:08:03):
contribute, please reach out toGraceville Community community.
We are working together acrossthe world with ministries and
individuals alike to help bringback the Church of Acts.
My name is Nicole Cater, your host, founder and
servant leader of GracevilleCommunity.
I want to thank you for tuningin to Graceville Community
Podcast.
This is a safe space, a placein which we just share stories
of how God has touchedindividuals' lives all across
the world and how they are nowimpacting the kingdom of God.
(00:21):
Thank you for tuning in.
Blessings to you.
Hey there, grace Field podcastlisteners.
I am so excited, truly deep downexcited, for our podcast and
our session today.
First, I want to thank you, asalways, for tuning in to
Gracefield Community.
(00:42):
We are all about carrying eachother's burdens and sharing love
amongst each other, as well asour number one thing is
discipling as we get closer andcloser to Jesus Christ.
So, as you're tuning in today,I have a near and dear friend
that I'm excited for theconversation.
(01:02):
This is going to be so much fun, y'all so much fun.
I'm going to be so much fun,y'all so much fun.
I'm going to tell you a littlebit about her.
So she is a loving wifecelebrating 14 years this year.
She is a firm mama, but thegreatest thing that I love is
that she has an amazing heart.
You know, listeners, I'm allabout servanthood, leadership.
(01:26):
I'm all about how you treatpeople and I have seen her day
in and day out love individuals.
She has amazing heart.
Her husband is so much fun.
He happens to serve alongsidemy husband at our church in our
live productions, and she is agroup leader so she teaches
(01:48):
people, disciple people.
I mean all the things, guys.
I could keep going and goingand going, but let me pause so
we can get into it.
Help me welcome Heather Reddick.
Speaker 2 (02:00):
Thank you.
Such a great intro, I love it.
Thank you.
That's a great intro, I love it, thank you.
Speaker 1 (02:07):
Oh, it is my pleasure .
I'm so excited to have thisconversation I mean kind of like
we do over coffee or so forth,but I'm just excited that we
have a chance, and it's ascheduled opportunity, to do
this today.
Speaker 2 (02:19):
Yes, yes, and to share with other people.
Hopefully, and don't mess it up, there's no mess ups, because
we're just being authentic, somessy is good.
Speaker 1 (02:36):
Oh yeah.
So I know I gave an intro, butyou know you may want to tell
the listeners a little bit moredetail, or just let's just start
.
Tell us about yourself, Y'all.
Let know you may want to tellthe listeners a little bit more
detail, or just let's just start.
Tell us about yourself, Y'all.
Let me tell you we have noagenda.
We are just talking life today.
Ok, yes, yes.
Speaker 2 (02:55):
So I mean we could go into it, but I mean we'd be
here forever.
This podcast would probably belike three books, right.
So let's just, let's just beeasy.
I'm originally.
I was born and raised inDearborn, michigan, and then
raised in Canton, michigan, soabout 30 minutes from Detroit.
(03:15):
And then I came to Texas to goto school at Arlington Baptist
College.
I studied Bible and musicministry and then served at my
church for 10 years previous toGateway, and then I started a
business about 10 years ago.
So actually this Septemberwe'll be setting our anniversary
(03:37):
birthday in September for 10years.
So I'm kind of excited andnervous and all things about
that.
It's like having a child, I'veheard like starting a business
is like having a child andrealizing that you have to let
God take care of it, even thoughit's in the secular world.
(03:59):
You know, I didn't.
Actually I haven't.
Well, I'm still trying topursue music ministry at Gateway
, but we know how that is.
It's a lot I do.
I do serve on at the GatewayPerforming Arts, so I still use
my music ministry that way andstuff.
But I know everybody wants toserve on platform.
(04:20):
So but you know when, wheneverGod says okay, okay, come on in,
then I'm ready.
Speaker 1 (04:27):
so oh yeah oh yes I love it okay, so interesting
though.
Speaker 2 (04:33):
Um, so you went to arlington bible college yeah,
baptist baptist college, it'snow called arlington baptist
university awesome.
They've extended their programsto other things and stuff like
that, but it was mainly ministryfocused.
So pastors, music ministers,youth ministers would go through
that, and then I was probablyone of a few women that actually
(05:00):
did the ministry part of themusic.
Most of them did musiceducation yes which I did.
I actually taught musiceducation at Fort Worth ISD for
three years and then taughtprivate music and private
schools at Fellowship Academy inKinnendale for a couple years.
So I mean I have a teachingwell, had a teaching certificate
(05:24):
.
I don't have one now, but yeah,I mean I loved, I learned a lot
in teaching.
Teaching is brutal and good allat the same time, like it was.
It was hard, I'm not gonna,i'm'm not gonna lie, but it
definitely woke you up to a lotmore responsibilities.
(05:47):
And then it woke you up toculture and how other families
work.
Like there's some families thatjust don't pour into their kids
and then there's families thatpour so much into their kids
because they want so much, andthat was beautiful to see and
stuff.
So, yeah, yes, yeah.
I got all kinds of background.
Speaker 1 (06:07):
I know I'm like I'm loving it, so I'm learning
something new right now, likeyeah, you wouldn't know that by
my group.
Speaker 2 (06:18):
I'm just kidding.
I'm just kidding, we're sosilly, okay, sorry oh well, I am
with you.
Speaker 1 (06:24):
I totally understand and you brought up a great point
.
Entrepreneurship is like havinga baby.
It's this baby that you birthand then you're developing and
grow and it has the pains, likeI feel like it has the birth
pains, it has the toddler pains,it has the like, adolescent
like all right, and it alsocarries those rewards right.
(06:46):
There's these like high momentsof it and so, yes, I just want
to acknowledge and celebrate youfor 10 years, because that is a
huge accomplishment.
Being myself being in businessfor myself for 15 years, I know
there are some crying nights,there are some.
There was plenty of momentswhere it's like.
(07:06):
I quit like I'm firing myself.
We're done.
Speaker 2 (07:11):
Here's your pink slip .
Oh, my goodness, I don't knowwhy it.
I mean I mean because I haven'texperienced like actual
childbirth myself and we canprobably get into that another
time, but I have heard thatbuilding it up, there is some
(07:35):
kind of encouragement that youhave to give into the business
and stuff.
And so, through all of this Iwant to tie this in biblically,
because God has shown memanagement, and not just
building a business, butbuilding family, building your
marriage, building relationships, building your church, building
(07:55):
yourself, I mean the buildingrelationship with him.
There's so much to manage,there's so much to manage, and I
think that I think that's whyhe gave us the Sabbath, because
he knew we would have to manageall of these things.
and he's like, okay, take abreak and I'm like okay, I get
(08:16):
that, I get that now.
So like pouring into something,investing in something, not
just financially, but the hoursthat you put into it, and then
also the thoughts and thestrategies and the creative
things that you have to manageand put into building that, and
then shaping it and then gettingpeople on board with your
(08:40):
vision and trying to say, okay,this is what I want to do.
So if you're not excited aboutit, they're really not going to
be excited.
It's like presenting presentingyour child.
This is my kid.
Right, I don't want to play withhim, or thing where somebody is
going to adopt him so that hecan play with somebody.
Oh my gosh, I don't know.
(09:02):
Oh my gosh, I don't know.
Speaker 1 (09:05):
Oh no, I love it.
That's so true.
You know, one of the thingsthat was the greatest, like,
I've studied Sabbath over time,right, I grew up in ministry,
grew up in the church, startedministry at a very young age,
have experienced my young age,have experienced my definitely
(09:31):
my own share of like church hurt, seeing all aspects of behind
the scenes, right, and one thingthat really stood out to me,
that was said to me aboutSabbath, was Sabbath is about
the trusting relationship thatGod can carry it.
And I was, like you know, I hadheard and I had tried
Sabbathing for so many years andwas like I'm not getting this
(09:52):
right.
Like you know, who has time torest, how does, how do you rest?
Like you know, I felt like I'mwasting productivity, like all
these thoughts I would have andI would struggle with Sabbath.
I remember hearing that andthinking that's what it is.
It's literally trusting that.
God, you gave me six days andon that seventh day not only is
(10:16):
this a gift from you that you'resaying, hey, do something you
enjoy, rest, like, take care ofyour own self, take care
yourself, all aspects rightspiritually, emotionally,
mentally, physically.
Like, take this and trust mewith the rest, oh my gosh.
And so yes, when I talk topeople that are struggling when
(10:38):
it comes to sabbath, it's veryinteresting you mentioned the
time because I also find thatthey struggle with both, like it
tends to be that when theystruggle with the tide, they
also struggle with the Sabbath.
Oh that's good.
That aspect of like I got tocontrol it and I'm not sure if
you can take it Right.
Speaker 2 (10:58):
So good, yeah, yeah, because I mean I know that.
Okay.
So I love giving.
I love presents.
Christmas is my favoriteholiday.
My birthday, I love.
I would love to give peoplepresents on my birthday and I
like receiving them.
I'm not, I'm not gonna lie Ilove receiving them, but I would
(11:19):
rather give.
However, there was a point in mylife that I had a hard time
receiving.
When people gave to me, I feltunworthy.
I felt like my identity likedidn't deserve this and stuff,
and a lot of that came fromstuff that was taught to me that
(11:40):
was untrue, not not by aparticular person, but by
particular people that didn'theal, that haven't, that didn't
get the moment to heal forthemselves and to actually learn
.
God is love, he's so love he Imean, his name is love that if
(12:02):
you don't know God, you don'tknow love.
It's like they're one in thesame.
And so when you're pushing hisjudgments and you're pushing his
, the fear of God and all ofthis other stuff, you're only
getting part of who he is.
You're missing the main partand stuff of of who he is and
(12:22):
stuff.
And so when you're learningabout resting, I don't deserve
rest.
When you're learning abouttithing, I don't deserve the 90
percent.
You know, all of that otherstuff just comes in and to play
in it and it fight.
It's almost like it's fightingeach other when you're when
you're doing all that stuff.
So, oh gosh, that is so, so, sogood.
I'm going to write that down.
(12:42):
Yeah, when you like, sabbathand tithe go together, so true.
Speaker 1 (12:47):
Yes, you know.
Something you said actuallybrings me to just my own
personal like growth that I hadto walk through is even how I
looked at what it was to behumble, right.
Yeah, Like you said not that onespecific person taught me, but
just over the years, right, likewatching people, I'm like, ooh,
(13:09):
they're really prideful, like Idon't want to be that, right.
And then watching people thatI'm like, oh, they're so humble
Like they don't even think thatthey can go to cheesecake
factory today.
Right, like the problem, likeyou know, oh, I had cheesecake
factory.
Oh, there's people with no food.
I'm like, oh, do I should?
I feel bad that I got to eatout?
Right, yeah.
Speaker 2 (13:28):
And so.
Speaker 1 (13:28):
I I had a struggle balancing like what true
humility was, and I think that Igot into a place of what we
would call like false humility,right Of like okay, almost like
trying to portray that there'sthis level of humbleness or
humility, because I don't wantsomeone to kind of see me as
(13:52):
prideful Right.
So it's again another aspect oftrying to control right, like
I'm trying to control anarrative that somebody else
sees, and I think that happensso often and I'm just going to
like I'm going to jump into atopic of church, right, okay.
Speaker 2 (14:07):
Come on Church and community.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
Here we go, but I think that happens within church
and community and I'm soexcited that the conversation is
coming out more and more ofbeing our authentic self, right
like not hiding, not having thepretense, but really saying like
, hey, like, these are mystruggles no, this is not my
(14:31):
struggle, but this is mystruggle and I need community in
this and I don't need to hidefrom it, right right because.
I think the false humility whichI would say is when someone
pretends to be one way, so theypretend to be humble, but
they're actually acting out ofan ego Cause, even if you have
false humility like at thatpoint in time I was about like
(14:52):
trying to protect my ego still,right, yeah, yeah, so it really
wasn't.
And it turns into pride, and itturns into pride and then you
act from places of it, Right.
So then you start to be likeyou know excessively, like
putting yourself down,deflecting praise, like someone
says thank you, and then you'relike, oh, I just got this from
the dollar store.
No, just say thank you Like itwas a compliment Except yeah.
(15:17):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (15:18):
I still struggle with that too, and even with my
husband so he'll.
He'll tell me how beautiful Iam.
And even with my husband, sohe'll tell me how beautiful I am
.
I mean, come on y'all Right now.
But yes, I am accepting that hesees me as beautiful and stuff.
So I have to see myself thatway too.
And I am so thankful that Ihave a husband that speaks life
(15:44):
into me and speaks beauty intome too, because it actually does
something to my soul when hesays those things.
That's the same thing with thefather, when we start reading
things about how he thinks of us, how how we we are, who we are
in him.
And I think sometimes humilityis so that we can keep ourselves
from falling.
I think it's okay to fall.
(16:06):
I think God has already said Isent my son because I knew you
were going to fall and this wasin the past.
So he's already looking at myfuture and your future and
everybody else's future andsaying, okay, I knew you're
going to do that.
It's okay, you can come back tome because I'm available.
(16:27):
You're that prodigal daughter.
I'm here with my arms open wide.
I'm going to actually run tothe gate and come get you, you
know that kind of thing and thatis so foreign sometimes to our
human viewing, physical lifemindset.
We can't get it out of our headthat somebody would actually
(16:49):
love us, even when we're yucky.
Speaker 1 (16:52):
Yeah, yeah, you know, um, there are times where, like
you know how you go into astudy and you're like I'm not
going to lie y'all, so I'm justgoing to say it.
Sometimes I choose the Biblestudy Cause I'm like this one's
going to be easy, be easy, right, five days.
Yeah, you know, we'll do thisone.
This will be easy, fly throughthis study, right, yeah, and
(17:13):
then it's like those are theones I have learned to stop
saying that, because those arethe ones where I'm like oh, we
got a lot to work on, huh that'sa little harsh.
Speaker 2 (17:23):
Well, it's five days.
I gotta fit all this in fivedays.
Yeah, those tend to be thehardest ones.
Speaker 1 (17:29):
Yeah, yes and so I remember I had chose this study.
I'm like this is gonna be easy.
You know, this is.
It's almost like I'm gonnacheck the list with this one,
right, yeah, yeah.
And in this study it was um, astudy on identity, where I'm
like, okay, cool, yep, you know.
You know, you think you'vearrived in a certain area
(17:50):
quickly learn, humble yourself,you have not arrived, right.
And so it was our identity.
And one of the things that saidwas that and we go back to this
whole aspect again abouttrusting God, right, that when
we cannot accept a complimentthat is relative to our creation
(18:11):
so even if it's like, hey,you're beautiful, hey, you're
kind, hey, you are very patientLike when we don't accept that
compliment because we'rethinking about the times that
maybe we're like I didn't feelbeautiful, I've gained 20 pounds
, like, or you know, like Ididn't, I wasn't very patient
with my kids.
You're seeing me patient rightnow.
(18:32):
Right, yeah, when I'm notaccepting that, I'm essentially
not accepting God and hiscreation, because I am his
creation and he created thosethings in me and those things
are good and he created thosethings in me and those things
are good.
And he called them good, hecalled them lovely, right, and
(18:53):
he tells me to speak unto thosethings.
And so when I denied it, it wasme denying even his goodness.
Speaker 2 (19:01):
And I remember doing that study of like man like oh,
I just won in five days just onein five days oh, man, yeah, and
then it gets you oh, dang it,and you think about it too that
he made us in our life, that hemade us in his likeness, and so
(19:22):
if we're saying we're notbeautiful, we're saying he's not
beautiful.
Nicole, nicole, I only came onhere for a second you know how I
say it.
Speaker 1 (19:31):
all the time I'm like every time I have a speaking
engagement, I'm going to teach aclass or something.
It's like you dive into it.
And then I'm like this was forme.
Now I got to come up here andteach what I'm working through
now, because now this was for me.
Speaker 2 (19:48):
Oh, man, yeah Dang it .
Speaker 1 (19:53):
Oh sorry, that's probably a bad way oh my gosh.
That's the goodness, but I thinkthat's the great part of
community, right, yeah, becauseeven like right now and having
that conversation, like thereare things that you and I are
like oh yeah, we got to work onthat, or oh yeah, this cause we
haven't arrived.
I say it all the time, fromglory to glory to glory, until
that day that we are in theheavenly place with the father,
(20:15):
and so that's the benefit ofcommunity.
Right, like calling thosethings, speaking truth and love,
being able to call those thingsin love and be with that person
.
Right, be present to walk withthem through the valleys and the
mountaintop.
Speaker 2 (20:31):
Right, yes, yes, yeah , and knowing that sometimes
there's conversations that needto be had between that person
and then sometimes there's justsitting, let's just chat, let's
just get it all out, what'sgoing on with you, I mean I
(20:51):
appreciate you in that becauseyou just, I mean, when you call
us out and say, hey, let's comeand have some coffee, let's just
chat, it's just so relievingand I love that.
I love about you and that you,you want to get that, you know
environment with people and itis such community.
There is so much community tothat and I think we've forgotten
(21:11):
that.
I mean, I, I don't want to putdown technology because we're
using technology, right, right,but um, I, I think technology
has one of two things it hasallowed us to be more open in
our conversation, but it hasn'tallowed us to benefit the
(21:34):
reciprocal exchange fromface-to-face exchanges and stuff
and a lot of that I think hasto do with pride too.
And my point like if I'm goingto say something to somebody, I
really don't want them to saysomething negative.
I really want them to just hearme out and just kind of listen,
and not everybody's like that.
Some people are like well, girl,let me tell you what to do and
(21:57):
I'm like I don't want you totell me what to do and I'm not
brave enough to say please don't.
And I'm not brave enough to sayplease don't, right, you know.
But at the same time Isometimes I need to hear it.
I sometimes I'm being stubbornand I don't want to hear what
the other person is saying.
So I grew up with three sistersand very, very opinionated.
(22:23):
I love them so much, but theyall have their opinions of and
we all grew up completelydifferent.
All four of us like totallydifferent lifestyles, but we
love each other, we love hangingout with each other and they
will share their viewpoints ofhow things should and shouldn't
be.
And sometimes I'm like youdidn't have to, you really
(22:47):
didn't, I mean, but I love themjust the same.
I know that, I know they meanwell, I know they want the best
for me, and so that's what Iwalk away with, like Facebook
posts and things like that.
That's where we're missing thatdisconnect, because we don't
(23:08):
know the person.
I mean, we've connected withthem via internet but we haven't
really experienced who they are, because I can't see your face
and I can't hear your tone and Idon't, I don't know if you
honestly mean, well, you know,know, I mean you come back every
week to add a comment here, butare you really invested in my
(23:28):
life, you know full time andstuff, or are you just you need
something to do because you'rebored?
Yeah, no, I'm not dissingtechnology, because I use it.
I use it all the time.
Speaker 1 (23:41):
I mean, I tell people , even when it comes to AI, I'm
like I have a love haterelationship, right, because I
use AI.
But I'm also like, is it takingaway even the critical thinking
aspect, the ability to goresearch?
I remember as a kid when Iwould say what does this word
mean?
My mom would say go get adictionary.
And I would have to go get thebig Merriam-Webster and figure
(24:01):
out what does this word mean?
right, and I find myself like asa millennial, now a parent
telling them go Google.
And it's like I also don't wantto turn them to Google because
who knows what's going to pop up, right.
Right, but that is their modernday dictionary, right, yeah,
yeah, but it's funny how youmentioned, like, the ability to
(24:24):
view and see each other and see,like you know, facial
expressions.
My face will always tell.
I do not have the type of facethat finds what I'm thinking
right.
So sorry, I can be inconversation's so funny,
(24:46):
especially my husband, because Ican be in conversation or not
even say anything yet and he'slooking.
He's like what does that mean?
And I'm like what do you mean?
What does that mean?
He's like your face tells itall.
Like, oh, I'm really trying towork on that, like, but I just
real quickly was like you knowwhat, and this is my love, hey,
(25:06):
yeah, so I real quickly typed in.
I'm like what are thestatistics on body language?
Right, because I know there'sstatistics, but I don't know
them offhand.
So here they are.
But it stated that like um per,and I can't even pronounce this
guy's name.
Albert Merherbian probably saidthat.
Totally wrong y'all.
So if you're listening, yes, Ibutchered it, if you know how to
(25:27):
say it, then please send us arecording yeah, you know it's
m-e-h-r-a-b-i-a-n but accordingto Albert, this person's
research, it said that sevenpercent of meaning is conveyed
through words Only 7% you didnot 7% through our words.
(25:50):
Then 38% is conveyed throughvoice.
So if we think, if we're onsocial media, if we're texting
all the time, only 7% of ourmeeting is what's being conveyed
.
Speaker 2 (26:03):
Wow.
Speaker 1 (26:04):
Then if we're doing, let's say we're doing the audio
recording, then we get like the7% plus the 38%, but that still
is not even 50, right, we are solow.
55% is communicated throughbody language.
Wow, wow, wow, wow.
As to your very point, like wehave pulled away from aspects
(26:29):
community that was originallycreated.
Even when I think about jesus,right, he gave us so many
examples of community.
He gathered their disciples Ilove this part which I refer to
often.
He broke bread, like he sharedmeals.
Yeah, even taught in parables.
That was relative to theimportance of community, of
(26:50):
illustrating, like, how peoplework together.
He served others, he prayedtogether, right, yeah, he gave
us the example of what we shouldbe doing in community.
And although we have, yes, allthis modern day, and y'all hear
me out, because what we shouldbe doing in community and
although we have, yes, all thismodern day, and y'all hear me
out, because what we do here atGraceville Community is we work
(27:11):
with churches, we work withindividuals, we do digital
marketing.
So I'm not like anti this, likey'all, this is what we do,
right?
We help churches know how tooutreach.
Speaker 2 (27:21):
Yes, so good.
Speaker 1 (27:23):
We help business owners, like outreach, using
digital marketing, so I I oftenrefer to like Paul wrote letters
because that's what Paul had inthat time.
We do social posts right,that's what we have, yet it
doesn't remove our requirementto come together as community.
Speaker 2 (27:44):
Right, yeah, oh my gosh, I'm just thinking about
all of the like, every singlescripture piece that we have and
like this this is only sevenpercent of what god's intentions
were like if we were only there.
But then he gives us the holyspirit, and so we're still
(28:05):
feeling like we're just getting.
We're just getting the half ofit, like not even a half a
portion of all that he has instore for us, right?
Speaker 1 (28:17):
so good, right, hey, let's take a quick break to tell
you about grace filledcommunity grace filled community
is an organization that focuseson the primary principles of
the Church of Acts, centeredaround building communities that
(28:39):
impact the kingdom of God.
We do this through three coreextensions.
One, gracefield Church Network,where we empower churches and
nonprofits for God's success andgrowth.
We offer tailored growthstrategies rooted in biblical
principles that will help youexpand your reach and impact
(28:59):
your communities.
Just like the early church, wefocus not on attendance and
numbers, but on discipleship,providing leadership teachings
and trainings to today'sministry leaders.
Our second extension is Projectof the Grace Field, where we
provide biblical counseling,mentorship workshops and events
(29:21):
that are dedicated toencouraging individuals to live
a life filled with grace andpurpose, rooted in the
understanding that all havefallen short and are a working
project.
Let us help the individuals inyour community grow as they walk
with God and experience thefullness of his love.
Our third extension isgrace-filled business.
(29:45):
Grace-filled business is hereto help small faith-based
business owners develop theirbusiness in a way that honors
God, that brings increase andallows them to pour back into
his kingdom, through marketplaceministry and financing his
kingdom.
We do this through our 15 yearsof experience of virtual
administrative work, digitalmarketing, business development
(30:08):
and consulting.
Speaker 2 (30:12):
Welcome back digital marketing business development
and consulting.
Speaker 1 (30:15):
Welcome back, which is, I think, why my heart really
is and, um, you've had time,like you know me intimately,
right but my heart really is forcommunity.
Yeah, I've been in spacethroughout my experiences, right
, which I want to transition ina moment and, like, let me share
some of your experiences whereyou've seen God in the midst.
(30:37):
But, you know, I sit and Ithink about, like, some of my
greatest times where I wasdepressed, where I wanted to
take my life, where I attemptedto, where, like, I was just in
this state and it was loneliness, it was a lack of community
around me, and not that therewasn't people, but was there
(30:57):
true intimacy?
Was I being vulnerable enoughto share?
Like this is what I'm goingthrough, or did?
Was I at the time?
Was I in a church where I hadto be in this pretense to make
it seem like everything's okay?
or could I be vulnerable and bereceived well in just that?
I'm struggling and I'm not okay.
(31:18):
So good, and that's why it's soimportant to have community and
have those people around youthat can sit, be present.
No, we don't have to have theanswers to it, all right.
Right, but even just theability to be present.
Speaker 2 (31:34):
Yeah, yeah.
Or just sitting and looking upthe answers together yes, like
finding the answers together,like do you want to research
with me?
I love studying the Bible.
It's one of my favorite thingsever.
And I actually came across theword fear and there's two words
for fear in the Greek languageand so, like, when you're using
(31:58):
the word, when you're readingthe words in scripture and stuff
like that, you have tounderstand that there's double
meaning sometimes to the wordthat we transliterated into this
word that they gave to us andstuff.
So.
So, to give a little background, I, I too, had an experience
where I tried to take my lifeand, believe it or not, I was at
(32:24):
school, I was at college Biblecollege of all places, bible
college of all places and to notfeel that intimacy, um, they
didn't know what to do, andthat's not a shame on them, it's
why, why have it?
It's really not even a shame atall.
It's basically they justweren't taught either, and so
(32:47):
it's a continual thing, and Iknew I had to find something
different.
I knew that something differentwas more was out there, and so
I asked the hard questions and Iasked why are we doing this?
What is the purpose for this,and I tend to do that a lot.
I do that to my husband and Iknow I get on his nerves.
(33:08):
I what is the intent behind whywe do what we do?
And I think that's where God is.
It's not that he wants ourobedience, it's that he wants
our heart in the obedience.
It's the intention behindeverything.
Like, what is the purpose ofyou saying yes?
I mean yeah, I get it.
(33:29):
I have all these benefits foryou.
I do want, but I do, I do wantthis, I want relationship, I
want to dive into that.
And so when I was going throughthat period at my school, it
really was a point where I justcouldn't find that in people.
(33:50):
I didn't find that closecommunity that somebody sit with
me for a long period of timeare you, are you there with me?
This like through this wholething I I had a hard time with
(34:11):
people.
People were afraid to come andtalk to me after afterwards to
ask you know, even to ask areyou OK?
You know it was few and farbetween and I know that they
wanted to, but they just didn'tknow how.
And so I think that's wherewe're lacking in churches period
, no-transcript.
(34:51):
Be, I actually had a friend.
She said, heather, somethingthat they would do is if they
wanted you to come over fordinner it wasn't just two hours
and then you're gone, kind ofthing.
It was let's sit and chat firstand then we'll have dinner, and
then let's sit and chat somemore.
And the pace of everything wasso slow, so what we would be
(35:16):
like snail's pace.
I can't do this.
It's too, it's too slow.
And uh, she would be great totalk to.
I should get her to come on hereyes but yeah, she's, she's
amazing and um, but she, shejust said the pace of everything
was just chill, like you didn't.
You didn't have to pretendthere was no dress up, you
(35:39):
didn't have to make yourself allsomething.
You just could come as you are,how you were in that moment at
that time, and just be.
And I'm like that is so foreignhere.
We don't know what that lookslike.
And every single time we dothat we get to the place of rest
(36:01):
where we think we can rest.
We feel guilty, we literally.
I just just yesterday, sam and Itook a day off.
He actually wound up workingbecause he felt guilty, but the
whole thing was it was justsupposed to be a day off and he
(36:21):
felt so guilty for doing thatbecause we're so used to going
and going and going and I justdid a full circle with Sam.
Yes, I tied that all back inthere, but just to be I.
And I think that's where we'rescared, because we don't know
what we're supposed to be doingin that beat and that resting
(36:43):
moment, in that, in that point.
And I think that's where Irealized at that point in my
life that people just didn'tknow what to do.
They don't know what to do.
They can give examples andsuggestions and even Bible
verses to help you throughthings, but they just didn't
know.
They don't know and they'reafraid to tell you because they
(37:06):
don't want to tell you wrong orthey don't want to feel like
they're arrogant or they want tobe humble and all these other
things.
Speaker 1 (37:12):
So I get it people, we're all, we're all there,
we're all still learning and Ithink we're always going to keep
learning yeah, no, definitely,you know you bring up such a
good point, um, when I had myexperience, very similar, um, I
was not at bible college but Iwas very active in a church,
right, um, when I say veryactive, like Isaiah and I were
(37:34):
on the pastoral team in thatchurch.
Well and um, you know, it wasone of my most depressing times
and I remember, like to thepoint of what she said, the
individuals around us was nottrained, they were not taught,
(37:55):
they didn't know what to do.
And so, because I didn't comewith the like expectation of the
normal Nicole, happy, jolly,like I got all the positivity,
like I'm your backup girl, right, that was not there, I couldn't
seem to pull it out of me,right, and so they just, they
didn't know what to do.
So then it became an avoidance,right, um, which our marriage
(38:19):
group right now is in the serieswhere we just started.
How we love, I love this studyokay it is like my third time
around with it.
I absolutely love how we love,but one of the things that it
the main thing that it divesinto is like the attachment
theory of how we were created tobe attached to our parents,
(38:39):
right, like that's how Godcreated.
For a certain period of time,you're attached to your parents
and with that attachment theory,like you learn in an early on
age, like I safe here, am Iprotected here?
Yeah, I, you know, is this agood place?
Or do I need to fend for myself?
(39:00):
Right.
And so in fending for ourselves, it looks like, okay, I need to
avoid circumstances or I needto, um, be a people pleaser
because I need to make sure thateverything is good so that I
don't cause a negativecircumstance here.
So we learn these like lovestyles that if we don't heal
from, we'll carry throughthrough, like relationships, and
(39:21):
I think about that time, whichis probably again why I can have
so much grace and empathytowards people today, right?
Because I think about that timeand in that time I'm not gonna
today, right Cause I think aboutthat time and in that time I'm
not.
I'm not going to sit here andpretend like I had empathy or
grace.
I actually became angry.
I became angry that, like I'msurrounded by people that I feel
like I've done stuff for day inand day out.
(39:43):
I feel like I've likesacrificed to the highest level.
And now, when I'm in my deepeststate, where I need community
like no one's present, yeah, andso not understanding.
At that time I was angry, like Iwas angry at them, and then I
became angry at God too, right,um, and now, in a place of
(40:03):
understanding, there's this thatpeople, if we don't heal, if
we're not taught, we run tothose things that we did at
early age, like we either avoid.
So then people were justavoiding me, right, or, um, you
know, if I'm not avoiding, thennow I'm people pleasing.
(40:26):
So now it's like, well, if sheasked for anything, we're just
going to give it to her, butwe're just going to leave her
alone until she asked forsomething, right, yeah?
Well, in that state I didn'tknow what to ask for, right,
yeah.
And so I, I tell people, like,I remember, even when we, when
we lost our, our child, and Iliterally to this day can
picture, I literally to this daycan picture, I remember the
(40:52):
exact setup of the service.
I literally can picture andtell you every person that was
there On the opposite side.
I can tell you every person thatwasn't there, I can tell you
every person that called and thepeople that didn't, especially
after the fact like, again, myown self, where Isaiah and I not
(41:16):
being taught, like I carriedthis anger towards people that
really were sitting in a stateof like I don't know what to do
with you, like I don't havewords to say I don't know what
to do with your level of pain.
I, you know, like I, they justdidn't know what to do with your
level of pain.
I, you know, like I, they justdidn't know what to do.
But in my eyes, all I seen wasyou're not present.
(41:37):
Yeah, I'm cutting you off, right, so I, like those relationships
, that really was more, theywere hurting for me, but just
didn't know how to communicateand I didn't know how to
communicate.
Like I didn't know how tocommunicate.
Like that I'm upset because Ineed you and I don't know how to
tell you to be here, right andso, again, all of that, to your
point of it's so important forus to teach these things, to
(42:01):
teach these principles,especially when we're in spaces
with the whole community, rightand so, as I think of churches,
which is one of the main reasonswhy it's graceful community.
Like we go into churches and Ido a lot of teaching and
leadership development becauseeven with like our leaders in
churches, like there has to be asafe space for them too right
(42:24):
because they're human.
Speaker 2 (42:26):
They're humans.
Yes, yes, yes, they gotta dothat too.
Yeah, it doesn't stop justbecause they have that position.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
It just means that they have more to carry so yeah,
yes, I have a question and itthis I'm like wait I don't think
I've ever had people on apodcast ask me a question.
Speaker 2 (42:47):
I love this, Okay.
So how do you and this is aparenting question, because I'm
not a parent but how do youallow your children in
conversations when you'retalking to adults?
(43:09):
What is your approach?
Speaker 1 (43:12):
yes, yes.
So, um, first thing I would sayis that we have identified like
in our home we have safe space.
Literally it's called.
Well, we changed it.
We used to be called safe spaceand now we call it heart to
heart as they got older.
Speaker 2 (43:34):
We took it from.
Safe space is now you know thatwe're safe.
Speaker 1 (43:35):
And now we just want to have heart to hearts, right,
nice, so we call it heart toheart now, but we established
that.
To where that?
You knew that we're alwaysgoing to be honest with you.
You asked a question.
We believe if you're asking thequestion, you're ready for the
answer.
Right, got it, got it.
And so we had always been vocal, always gave them safe space,
always even told them that, hey,whatever comes in this safe
(43:58):
space, one you can trust thatit's staying with us.
I'm not calling my friend likegirl.
You know what this kid did?
No, it's staying with us andthere is no punishment within
safe space.
So, safe space, now we we arenot removing consequences, and
there's a big difference betweenwhat consequences and
punishment is, and that's awhole nother thing, right, but
(44:21):
there is no punishment.
But there may be consequences,like if you come in safe space
and says, hey, like this is whathappened and I'm struggling,
that well, some of consequencesare we may have to change some
boundaries to help you until youget to a place that you don't
need.
You know, yeah, I won't evensay you don't need these
boundaries, but you understandhow to create them yourself,
(44:42):
right?
yeah um and I say all that to toyour answer um, after doing
that, what our communication waswas hey, until we state that
this individual is to be a safespace in which you can be openly
(45:05):
communicative with, when we'rein the presence of, like adult
conversation, we're going to askyou to withhold from responses.
Let us go first questions.
Yeah, now we're asking you towithhold, not that we're never
going to address them, we'reasking you to withhold.
And when we come together injust our family, all questions,
(45:28):
all statements, all commentslike you got jokes about it, we
want to laugh about it.
We can do that in our safespace, okay, and so that's and
one of the things that we taughtthem about that, and as we
still do it to this day, likethere are times we come together
we're like, okay, yes, thatwould have been an appropriate
question, or hey, no, that wouldnot have been appropriate.
(45:50):
And so part of it is, you know,teaching them, and the reason
why we do this is to teach them,like, how do you have
appropriate communications?
Because at some point, I mean,I think of myself like as a I
almost said 30, I'm 40, not 30.
As a 40 year old woman, I maybe in the presence of
(46:12):
conversation with women that are70, right, and it almost is the
same concept of like.
There is a certain level ofhonor and respect that I'm going
to give them because of thewisdom and age that they have
earned, right.
So I need to understand whenit's appropriate, my responses
or my questions, versus whenthey may not be appropriate.
(46:34):
And that's essentially whatwe're teaching them over time is
we're asking you to bring it tous so that we can navigate with
you Like what is appropriate.
I mean, you know my husband, hewill openly tell you he can.
He can be very sarcastic.
So we have a child that can bevery sarcastic and it can come
off really funny and it could belike ha ha ha.
(46:54):
Yeah, in certain settings likethis is not okay, right, so we
had to do that to like, okay, inthat moment, what were you
thinking in that moment?
What would you have said?
And then walk them through like, oh, I'm so glad you didn't say
that this is what that couldhave come, or.
And then walk them through like, ooh, I'm so glad you didn't
say that this is what that couldhave come up, or like, hey,
that would have been a greatthing to say.
(47:16):
And then I think the other partabout that too is like it's also
teaching them how to dorelationships peer to peer.
Yeah, so it's not just you knowthey need to see how we do
relationships, how we managecommunications, how you know
they need to see how we dorelationships, how we manage
communications, how you knowthey've been in spaces where
they're like we know you guysdid not agree with what that
(47:37):
person said.
Okay, well, how did you see ushandle it?
Because it's teaching you howto handle your relationships
peer to peer and relationshipsthat you may have.
People that you know biblicallyhave earned the honor and
respect for you to give them acertain type of communication as
well.
Speaker 2 (47:54):
Yeah, I asked that question because in a lot of
what I grew up in was, you know,children's children.
Conversations do not happenwith adults, and so when you
were a child, you went away tothe, to your room and played, or
down in the basement becausewe're in Michigan we played in
the basement with kids that werelike-minded, that were the same
(48:16):
.
However, my husband's growingup stage, he was welcome into
adult conversation and they wereallowed to talk about those
things while children werepresent, and I think a lot of
that has to do with the factthat there were godly
conversations being had.
They knew that theseconversations, if we're going to
(48:37):
talk about politics, we need tobe godly about those politics.
If we need to talk about, youknow, certain things, we need to
curb our you know what we'resaying because there are
children present.
They didn't exclude thechildren, there was an inclusion
in it, and so that is soforeign to me.
So like there are things that Iwill not say to an adult but
(48:59):
I'll say it to my peer, I'll sayit to people that are younger
than I am, or something likethat.
But then in a business setting,when you are the authority
figure, that shifts because youcan be older or younger than the
people that you're working withor that are underneath you, and
so you have to take that nowresponsibility on your shoulders
(49:22):
to manage, to dictate, todelegate to those older people
and be able to convey to them.
Okay, I know that this is whatyou want to do, but in the
vision and the structure of ourbusiness, this is what has to be
done.
I appreciate your insight andall the other stuff, and that
(49:44):
has come with training.
It's another type of managementof communication and stuff like
that too being respectful tothe other person but, at the
same time, knowing that you haveto make.
You're the one in charge tomanage what that is, because
it's going to affect you more sothan it's going to affect
everybody else.
(50:05):
I and I feel like I didn't getthat, like my mom, my mom and
dad were pretty good with youknow, be careful with what
you're, what you're going to sayto people, and don't talk like
that and you call them yes,ma'am and no ma'am.
Yes sir, no sir.
Those those respectful thingsbut I think they forgot to teach
us.
When you're in this situationand you're the younger person
(50:31):
and they're doing wrong, youhave the right to call them out
on it, because this is whatscripture is about.
We're supposed to bestrengthening and encouraging
each other in this way and sothat I I lack that sometimes.
So when I come out to somepeople and I'm harsh forgive me,
I'm still learning how to trainor I just be quiet, I've just.
(50:52):
If I'm sitting there, it'sbecause I'm just trying to be
safe.
Oh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (50:59):
Oh my gosh.
Well, you know, I think one ofthe things, too, is is it runs
through all communication right?
There are key principles thatshould just happen because we're
being to being right.
One we need to recognize thatwe are all God's creation.
(51:21):
Scripture doesn't say like, oh,you know, nicole and Heather
was created in God's image, butJennifer was not right.
Right, because we were allcreated in his image.
So we're all image bearers.
Now, how we're displaying,through our actions, if the
fruit of the spirit is comingout, now that's, you know, a
different story.
(51:42):
That's what needs to beobserved.
But as far as how we treatothers like, we are image
bearers.
So one of the things that I'vealways, you know, taught our
children is that you arespeaking to someone that's an
image bearer of God, yeah, soyou need to be mindful, in
whatever communication you give,right, that that is who you're
(52:05):
speaking to, right, and thescripture says that we will be
held accountable for every word.
It doesn't say just the wordwhen we're on a platform, just
the word when we're on a podcast, like no, you're going to be
accountable for every word.
The word I gave to my husband,the word I gave to my kid, the
word I gave to the cashier.
You know every word, and inthat there's a teaching
(52:26):
component of how do Icommunicate, how do I use my
words, how do I even haveboundaries with my communication
?
Speaker 2 (52:35):
How do I?
Speaker 1 (52:35):
create boundaries for the way you can communicate to
me, right, yeah, and so I dothink that, like you said, how
Sam's family allowed him to bethere for communications, I
think that's one of the reasonswhy we don't mind their presence
, but we don't allow response,right, because you're still
developing, you're stillunderstanding is this a space to
(52:57):
give and what is an appropriateresponse?
But I do want you present, likeyou said, to Sam's family,
because I know that whateverconversations I'm a part of,
they should be centered aroundGod.
So whatever we're talking aboutlike you said, it could be
politics they should be centeredaround God.
So whatever we're talking about, like you said, it could be
politics, it could be sports, itcould be, you know, whatever it
is that we're talking about,that my words should be words
(53:21):
that are directed by and myfoundation should be in living a
God.
So it's almost like when you'represent, there's they're always
teaching moments.
Yeah, they're always teachingmoments yeah.
They're always teaching moments.
I remember when one of ourchildren was kind of going
through a going from, like Iguess we're in preteen to the
teen state Right.
Speaker 2 (53:42):
And.
Speaker 1 (53:42):
I would say we probably had thank the Lord,
cause I hear stories I'm like,oh, thank you Lord, right, but
I'd say we had about two monthswhere I was like, am I gonna
make it?
Speaker 2 (53:55):
like I'm totally failing, like am I gonna make it
.
Speaker 1 (53:57):
This is horrible.
You know, um, and I rememberyou know I'm a big believer.
I'm definitely like therapy andtheology work hand in hand.
I believe in counseling, Ibelieve in doing it on a regular
, not just when there's crisis,but that there's value in making
sure that you have someone thatyou can talk things through.
And so we did our familycounseling and I remember the
(54:20):
counselor was like okay, well, Ithink he just needs to be
present with you guys and heneeds to just be with his father
more.
Not that he wasn't present, notthat he wasn't with him, but
the key part that he said is heneeds to observe how his father
responds to circumstances and Iwas like that's the answer, like
(54:45):
what right that was it?
when I think about it, like, andwe made that shift, it became
and there was a realization thatlike, okay, when they're very
young they need mom, right, likethey need to feed them, I'm the
nurturer, I'm the like consoler, so forth.
Like it's becoming a shiftwhere they now need the, the
(55:05):
structure that comes with that,they now need some of the
teachings, right, like some of.
if I look at Proverbs, like youknow, it starts off with like
son, listen to my words, right,like, and so that's what the
shift was needed.
And they get that byobservation.
We know that, like, we can sayall the words, but they're going
(55:27):
to do what they see, and soeven in that, but they're going
to do what they see, and so evenin that.
That's why it's important toallow them to be a part of that
conversation and when I say be apart, to be in a presence where
they can hear, because they tooare observing, they're
observing.
Can you speak in kindness?
Can you speak in gentleness?
Can you carry out the fruits ofthe spirit when, um, the
(55:50):
conversation is challenging?
You don't agree.
You know, right, there's thisaspect of repair, um, that needs
to happen in relationships andthey need to see that.
That, like, if you do fall outof the fruits of the spirit and
if you do say something thatwasn't kind or gentle, do you
have the ability to repair?
Can you go back and apologize?
Can you repair thatrelationship?
(56:11):
Same for like parent to kid.
I grew up in a home where, like, it wasn't a home where the
parents apologized to thechildren, right, right, right.
And I'm very big on thatbecause that teaches the apology
relationship Like listen, Iknow I'm not perfect Y'all.
I think I'm a pretty good mama,but I'm not perfect y'all.
I think I'm a pretty good mama,but I'm not perfect right right
(56:33):
, right, I'm gonna mess up.
I'm going to even like.
You know, I, as much as I wantto keep my word, like I may have
told you, yeah, we can get icecream Friday and I forgot about
it Friday.
And then next week you're likewell, you told me ice cream, you
didn't keep my word.
Oh, my gosh, I didn't.
I'm sorry.
Yeah, there is something thatcomes with an apology and
teaching them that relationshipsshould carry apology and
(56:56):
apology.
Speaker 2 (56:57):
Yeah, that's a healthy relationship and I think
sometimes the parents refrainfrom apologizing because of that
neutral ground because it givesammunition to, I mean, no know,
for mine it would have beennice for my parents to just say
I'm sorry, you know sometimes,and stuff like that, just so
(57:19):
that they can meet me halfway,like no way, okay, I get it,
you're my, you're my parent, butyou mess up, you don't make,
you don't make good choices allthe time, you know.
Think, I think that's true forall authority, which is servant
leadership.
If you realize, you know yourservitude comes first before
your leadership and as you'reserving others and stuff like
(57:41):
that, it, it keeps you on thatplane that, yes, you have
authority, god has given youauthority and a place to put all
of that authority.
But he wants you to rememberwhere you came from, like as far
as the cert, as far as servingothers, and how you got there.
You're, you're ultimatelyserving others, right, which is
(58:02):
that whole servant leadership.
And, I think, remembering thatyou're going to mess it up, that
people mess up, make mistakes,and if we're not in that
position right now in our church, that people make mistakes,
yeah, you, and it's not going toever be perfect.
I want to find that perfectperson.
(58:23):
I just want god's man, and it'sgoing to be.
Paul wasn't perfect, peterwasn't perfect, right?
Just it's not gonna happen.
It's just not gonna happen.
However, you have to be willingto say you're sorry.
You have to be willing to say Imessed up, I screwed up, I am
so sorry, so yeah that could goon forever.
Speaker 1 (58:46):
The heart condition right like I mean if I um and oh
gosh, I'm like time has.
I mean if I um and oh gosh, I'mlike time has flew by, but I
know I'm like oh my gosh, Ibring it all together.
Like in each area that we talkabout, like when I think about
trusting God, when I think aboutrelationships, when I think
about the tide and the Sabbathand all of these components
(59:08):
right, it all leads to the heart, All of these components right.
It all leads to the heart.
It all leads to improving ourheart condition and it being
centered out of our love for God.
So good, because when the goinggets tough which it does
scripture has told us that whenwe follow Christ, there's
suffering, right, yeah, so whenthe going gets tough, it is out
(59:31):
of our love for him that wecarry through the things that we
should do, like it is in mylove for him.
I don't always, maybe, feellike having a gentle
conversation with somebodythat's not being so gentle to me
, right?
Or I don't always feel likeapologizing, especially when you
can't give me an apology backor I don't always feel like
(59:52):
sacrificing.
maybe a showing up for you andmaybe I feel like, well, you
didn't show up for me but, it'snot even out of my basis of you,
it's out of the heart of mylove for God and recognizing
that he does it for me day inand day out.
Yep, so good.
And so scripture says what morecan I do but to be a living
(01:00:16):
sacrifice?
Yeah, and so I think thatthat's just the.
I mean, I think that's the sumof it all, kind of like um.
I think it's Paul that said,like you know, the sum of it all
, kind of like um.
I think it's paul that said,like you know, the sum of it all
is to like love god and followhis commandments.
Speaker 2 (01:00:38):
right yeah, yeah, so so good, yes, so good, yes.
How much longer can we go?
I know like we totally have todo this again.
I need 20 more minutes.
Speaker 1 (01:00:53):
Oh, my goodness.
I mean I know we do itone-on-one at times, but we have
totally got to do this again.
I would love to have you comeback on any other time.
I know that you will probablynot say anything, but I want to
lead into it, guys, cause that'sjust how great Heather is.
She has not told you what herbusiness is, and I think it's
(01:01:13):
important for you to know whather business is, because she
does something that isphenomenal, and her heart and
her servanthood attitude I mean,trust me, you want to know what
she does and how she does it,because she does it from a
servant heart.
And I'll say this part if I washaving a wedding which I'm
planning to do our weddingcelebration Heather is the go-to
(01:01:37):
because of her heart, becauseof her heart going above and
beyond.
So I'm going to let you,because you know way more about
all that you do.
I'm like I know the component.
But yes, please, please, take amoment and just tell us about
what it is that you do, sure.
Speaker 2 (01:01:54):
So I am a wedding planner.
I started 2015.
I have actually been planningevents my whole life.
My parent, my mother, plannedevents.
She was a project manager forthe state of Michigan and
everything that we ever did wasan event, and so I have.
I am very qualified, but I loveit.
(01:02:15):
I love putting together peaceand chaos, and so my mission is
to always make things easier forthe bride.
I've done other things like notjust brides, I've done
anniversaries and birthdayparties and stuff too, but it's
just to make things easier, andso I'll do the contacts for you,
I'll do the phone calls, I'llfind the places you know.
(01:02:38):
You can come along with me.
If you're that type of person,and if you're just that type of
person that says, hey, you takeit, I don't want it, I can do
that too.
So I'm all in.
I'm wherever you need to do so.
I research anything that youneed wedding related and I help
you plan that out.
(01:02:58):
I'm very big on budgeting,staying to the structure piece,
because that's typically ourroadmap for the most part, and
then I go on to design and talkabout how you like getting into
the details.
Do you want this to be black orwhite?
Do you want this to have.
You know the floral or wouldyou rather just you know
straight lines and contemporarylooks and things like that.
(01:03:20):
So, yeah, I love, I loveplanning.
I don't do all of the design.
I usually have somebody comingin and doing the design for me,
but I know who to look for, Iknow where to go and who to send
you to.
So, but, yeah, I'm a weddingplanner.
That's what I do, and it'scalled Life Events.
Our website is lifeeventsdfwcom, and right now we are actually
(01:03:43):
getting ready to have a weddingworkshop at the end of February,
on the 23rd.
It's the beginning stages ofplanning.
So I know a lot of you will begetting engaged February 14th,
valentine's, and so this is agreat time for you to do that.
And then March 1st, we'rehaving a styled shoot.
It's called a live style shootand basically you'll get to come
(01:04:05):
and see it behind the scenes.
So we do style shoots for ourpublications and things like
that.
So if we're posting stuff onwedding, uh, or on our weddings
and things like that, this kindof helps, and it definitely
helps people who don't havethose pictures yet to get those
things out there.
Uh, it just shows you what wecan do, and so it's kind of like
a behind the scenes and you getto this venue and meet vendors
(01:04:29):
and eat so you got me, I'm inlike no, it's like.
It's like a free cake tasting,like if you wanted to meet a
baker.
The baker comes out and shebrings her food and stuff so you
can taste what she makes.
And then it's just like oh, Ijust hire you, okay, that's fine
, so it's just done.
(01:04:50):
Making.
Oh, I just hire you, okay,that's fine, so it's just done.
Making things easier, I'm allabout efficiency so yes, ma'am.
Yes.
And that's at lifeeventsdfwcom.
Sorry, I don't think I saidthat.
Speaker 1 (01:05:01):
Did I say that?
Yes, thank you, we will.
As always, listeners, you knowI'm going to have it.
It's going to be there in theshow notes.
We're going to plug in waysthat you can stay connected with
heather.
Um, I am so grateful to you,friend, for coming so much for
having me such a nice earlymorning.
I know it's like cold outsideand raining.
I'm like it is a day that youkind of just want to cuddle up.
But you came on so I did I did.
Speaker 2 (01:05:24):
Thank you thank you for having me.
This was so fun, so good wecould.
We could go on forever.
Speaker 1 (01:05:31):
I know we could.
I know we could.
I'm like we can record likeepisode two to five to six.
I know we will do more.
Well, graceville listeners, asalways, I want to thank you for
taking time to tune intoGraceville Community Podcast.
Our overall goal is that youhave been inspired through the
gospel and the stories ofindividuals that have walked
(01:05:54):
with Christ and have seen him beGod, and so I hope that this
message, and this time todaywith our podcast, has inspired
you.
As always.
If you do not have communityand you are looking for
community, I want to encourageyou to join our Facebook group,
graceville Community.
Connect with us.
(01:06:15):
We also would like to get youconnected to someone local,
whether it's a church, whetherit's a ministry, whether it's
Facebook group.
We provide weekly encouraging,inspiring content for you answer
questions and give youcommunity Love.
(01:06:38):
Ya, thank you for tuning in totoday's episode of Graceville
Community Podcast.
We would like to invite you tovisit gracevillecommunitycom.
Graceville Community is allabout doing church the way
Church of Acts did, using fivemain principles that we see in
(01:06:58):
the Book of Acts Sharingresources, as believers pooled
their possessions and resourcesto support those in need, as we
see in Acts 2.44.
Those in need, as we see inActs 2.44.
Through hospitality the earlyChristians practiced hospitality
by opening their homes toothers, as we see in Acts 2 and
(01:07:19):
46.
By financial aid the church inAntioch sent financial aid to
believers in Judea during a timeof famine, as described in Acts
11 and 29.
Prayer and encouragement theysupported each other through
prayer and encouragement, as wesee in Acts 4 and 24.
(01:07:42):
And finally, spiritual guidancethe apostles and elders
provided spiritual guidance andteaching to help strengthen and
build the community, as we seein Acts 1530.
I would like to encourage you.
If any of those areas are areasin which you are in need or can
(01:08:03):
contribute, please reach out toGraceville Community community.
We are working together acrossthe world with ministries and
individuals alike to help bringback the Church of Acts.
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