May 16, 2025 • 35 mins
Sofia Carpenter shares her powerful journey from childhood trauma to becoming a women's empowerment coach who helps others overcome grief and find purpose in pain. Through her story of surviving a devastating car accident at age five that left her paralyzed and separated from her family, Sophia reveals how faith guided her through darkness into a life of meaning.
• Survived a car accident at age five that caused severe facial injuries and paralysis from mid-chest down
• Experienced three major traumas: physical injury, separation from family into foster care, and emotional aftermath
• Found Christ through her foster mother who later adopted her
• Discovered blessings in her new home despite the trauma of family separation
• Views challenges as God's refining process—molding us for divine purposes
• Maintains hope by finding joy in every situation and remembering past deliverances
• Now works as a women's empowerment coach specializing in grief recovery
• Helps women aged 35-55 who have been stuck in grief for a year or longer
• Emphasizes that healing begins with changing your mindset and taking action
• Lives by Philippians 4:13: "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me"
Connect with Sofia Carpenter to learn more about her coaching services or schedule a one-on-one breakthrough session. Join her community of women supporting each other through grief and loss.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
My name is Nicole Cater, your host, founder and
servant leader of GracevilleCommunity.
I want to thank you for tuningin to Graceville Community
Podcast.
This is a safe space, a placein which we just share stories
of how God has touchedindividuals' lives all across
the world and how they are nowimpacting the kingdom of God.
(00:21):
Thank you for tuning in.
Blessings to you.
Hello Graceville community, weare so excited to have you today
tuning in to our podcastepisode.
As always, I am uber excitedyes, I said it, uber excited for
our recording today and thestory that will be shared on
(00:43):
today's podcast.
So, as always, I'm not agatekeeper, I'm not holding back
, we're going to dive right in.
Please help me.
Welcome, miss Sophia Carpenter.
Welcome, sophia, hi.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Thank you for having me today.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Oh, yes, it is absolutely my pleasure because I
am truly if you can hear it inmy voice I am excited for you to
just share your story with ouraudience.
I believe that this podcast isreally going to be one that just
inspires and encouragesindividuals, even when they're
in states of pressure andchallenges, and so we talked
(01:24):
about it before we startedrecording and I'm like I don't
want to read a bio, I want toget into your story, so tell us
about yourself okay, um, well,short story, um is uh, because I
have a told testimony, and um,so, um, when I was five I just
(01:45):
turned five I was involved in acar accident with my mom and dad
.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
We were, it was my first day of preschool, I was so
excited.
But a semi truck ran into theback of us and hit it straight
on and because I did not have myseatbelt on or I wasn't in the
(02:12):
car seat, I was thrown into thefront front, into the front seat
of the?
Um, and like, uh, the wind, thewindshield, it, um, I, it
shattered, and so I fell ondirectly on the glass and um, so
(02:35):
, uh, this whole half my facewas gone.
Um, and it took many surgeriesand um, but I think, in the
midst of all, that I think Godhad a perfect plan, as he always
does, but we just may notunderstand it.
(02:55):
Um, so I was taken to thehospital, to Children's Hospital
here in Fresno, and uh, theydid, uh, I had to go through a
lot of rehab and uh, get back tolife without using.
(03:16):
I was paralyzed from the midchest down and unable to move my
legs, and so it was a whole newway of life, learning how to do
things without the use of mylegs, and so that was one trauma
that affected my life andhaving because my dad was the um
(03:43):
, the only one who was leftunhurt, or um, he he would.
He just had minor scratches, um,but my mom took him from my dad
(04:11):
and put into foster care, whichleads me to my second trauma of
being placed in the home, awayfrom family and away from people
I did not know.
And the third trauma waslearning.
The third trauma was having tocope with the loss of my family,
(04:43):
and that really stuck with mefor a long time and it and I I
had, um, they call it spiral,spiraling up, and because I just
held on to so much anger, somuch um resentment, so much
(05:06):
anger and um, I took it on thewrong people and I just was like
a volcano, just like waiting, Iwas simmering at the bottom but
then, when I exploded, um,that's when, like, my whole life
turned upside down.
(05:28):
Like how, how did I get here?
Or um, why?
Because it was like a um, ifyou just can't imagine closing
your eyes and just blinking um,or waking up, opening your eyes
and just having your whole lifetransition before you're, before
(05:50):
you.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay.
So, man, I mean, what's somewhat we call, you know, in this
world of a psychology sense,right, we will call it like
little traumas and big traumas,and we know that like little
traumas and big traumas, and weknow that, like little traumas
definitely affect us.
Sometimes the little traumascan affect us, you know, because
they carry on right, but youhave these major traumas that
(06:17):
really led to little traumas.
So, as I'm hearing it, Iliterally am seeing like this,
this rocky path right Of likeyeah, hey, here's a big trauma,
but now there's all these littletraumas because of this big
trauma.
So I'm still like this, andthen, oh, there's another big
trauma and now I'm still likethis again.
Man, like what a testament thatyou're even here today and able
(06:40):
to talk about, like what goingthrough those traumas have been.
I mean, that's a lot rightthere.
One of the questions that Ijust immediately am like I want
to ask you is how was your faithduring those darkest moments?
Like where was your faith withGod?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Well, it was funny because remember how I talked
about, god has a mighty plan, amasterpiece right, and he knows
every situation, everyindividual.
About Jesus that I learned thelove of God um through the woman
(07:26):
who was, um, at the time, myfoster care mom.
She later adopted me, but it'sit's having the opportunity to
know who Christ is, who to knowof his love, and um it, being in
the foster care home, I knew Iwas well provided for, I had
(07:48):
food to eat, I had a nice bed tosleep in, I every it placed
opportunities in my life that Iwould have never even imagined
myself in, that I would havenever even imagined myself in.
And it's like the littleblessings that are placed in our
(08:13):
lives that, for me, my parentswere migrant pickers and so we
had little.
We had each other, and we hadeach other and food to eat and a
place to sleep, and but when Ientered into this new home that
(08:36):
that opened my eyes to and to beable to do more things.
It was like I, I, I saw it as ablessing because, um, in this
home, I, um, I had everythingthat I could ever want.
(08:57):
I was able to travel um to likejust even San Jose or
Sacramento, or even flying toPhoenix to visit my relatives.
That was.
It was like God showing me thatthere is opportunities in every
(09:21):
little thing.
you do yes yes, and how that?
Can you repeat the questionagain?
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I sometimes get off, oh yeah, no, no, no, it's fine.
I'm like you're actuallyanswering the question right now
.
It was just kind of how faithguided you in it, and what I'm
hearing you essentially say isthat you would see God in all
those little moments that yourfaith was kind of like.
You would see him in thosemoments of being able to be in a
space where you can now haveaccess to just everything you
(09:51):
need to travel and so forth.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah, and it actually .
We went on two cruises to, on aDisney cruise and I got to swim
with the dolphins, and it'sjust learning to recognize those
little moments where God isthere in the midst of your
circumstance, in the midst ofchaos, in the midst of when
(10:18):
you're feeling so overwhelmed.
You just I know it's hard to dosometimes, but you just have to
silence yourself and pray theprayer of Lord.
Reveal to me your plans andpurpose for this season that I
am in and just to, to, to quietdown my noise so you can be um,
(10:43):
so you can speak, your, so youcan speak.
Your servant is listening.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yes, I love that.
I mean, I immediately thinkabout the aspect.
It's what we quote often and itseems to be like an easy verse
which is one of the hardestthings, right, but it literally
is just be still and know that Iam God.
And sometimes it's in thatquiet moment of just being still
, not trying to respond tocircumstances, not trying to
respond to circumstances, nottrying to even change the
circumstance, but be still in itand know that he is God, he is
(11:10):
in control and he really doeshave our best interest at heart
and have a plan for us.
You know I think about you.
You stated Fresno.
I had about a span of six yearsthat my husband and I lived in
Fresno.
I had about a span of six yearsthat my husband and I lived in
Fresno and I would essentiallysay that those six years were
part of some of our rough years,of our story.
(11:31):
And even when I think about likethe timeline that we carry and
it's very much like hills andvalleys, hills and valleys,
right but when I think aboutthat it was in those hardest
challenging times that I had themost growth.
And I think about how we oftenlook at challenges and we look
(11:54):
at trials, and sometimes there'sthis aspect of like oh like.
Why am I here when really ourresponse should be what do you
want me to take from this?
How do you want me to grow inthis?
How do you want me to grow inthis?
How do you want me to developin this?
What are you trying to work outof me that's maybe inside of me
that needs to get free, right,you know?
(12:15):
In thinking about that, I haveto ask, of course, like, what
spiritual practices play a partof you staying strong in the
midst of all of these challenges?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
okay, great question.
Um, I um, I call myself a womanof god, uh, but others may call
it as christianity.
Um, I'm more spiritual, amreligion, um, but that that is
what my, my specific um insightsare into that, and what brings
(12:52):
me comfort is that knowing thatthere's a higher and bigger
person in the midst ofeverything that goes on around
me.
Because if you try to, um, ifyou try to even emphasize, like
how could I be going throughthis um massive let's take, for
(13:16):
example, a divorce?
Um, so if you try to understandit from your mindset, oh boy,
you would be there like spinningyour burning rubber inside your
mind, already written your,your story out, and who who has
(13:45):
it all for the benefit of hisglory.
That just, um, that just bringsclosure to me, because you are
not in it alone you are.
you are more than conquerors andit's even in those um, you know
, I call it um, uh, uh, for uh,molding, molding, um and
(14:14):
sculpting is in those timeswhere god is taking the parts of
you, that um, molding you andsculptorns.
If you say uh, and he'spreparing you for the role that
(14:44):
he has, for his purposes, um,and that's if you think of it as
on the potter's wheel, he's um,you know you, you're, you don't
come, you're not a baby.
It depends what, what a stage inlife you are at, but I think
(15:04):
it's like he's, he's making youin his image and he and the part
(15:38):
of that in making you in hisimage, it's it's it hurts
because he's he's stripping awaythe parts of you that that don
um a refining process and, yes,it's gonna be like you're gonna
want.
You have all these emotions andum like thoughts of lord.
When is this gonna be over?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
hey, let's take a quick break.
You, thank you.
To learn more or get any of ouramazing Shackley products,
visit the website displayed onthe screen or in the show notes
of this podcast.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
But you have to remind yourself that you, you're
, you're placed in a world wherethe world has different views,
where where you're, what you see, what you, you hear, it all
plays a part.
And so to be in a version ofhim that takes work, that takes
(17:42):
um discipline, that takes skill,and so hang in there, don't
give up if you're in the processof refining.
And just just, I always sayyour darkest moments are um, are
your um, your darkest momentsare your um your refining.
(18:08):
There's purpose in the dark yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I mean, I think about it.
I tend to say, like how paintends to lead to your passion,
like it's those moments thatwere the most painful moments
that I grew the most from andreally led into the things that
I'm most passionate about, right, and so, unfortunately, it
seems to be that in thosechallenges, in those traumas, in
those spaces is where we reallyfind that we have this massive
(18:35):
level of growth, right, um,there's this massive development
and really I think about, evenin the aspect of, like someone
would say, well, why does Godallow us to have some of these
trials and tribulations which weknow?
Scripture says we will?
Um, and I, I have to be realwith myself.
Like it is when I'm goingthrough challenges that I am the
absolute closest with Godbecause, listen, my knees are
(18:57):
getting worn out, I'm like apraying and calling on his name,
I'm worshiping more than everbefore, I'm giving him all of my
emotions, I'm in tears and soforth.
Like I am in that closest leveland I would love to say like,
oh y'all, I match that levelevery day, but when things are
good and when things are smooth,you almost can get in a sense
(19:17):
of I wanna say just regularityor a sense of like.
Okay, I checked the box, like,yep, I said hello to God, I
spent some time with him.
Yep, check the box.
I did this, versus really likepouring into and really sitting
with, and you don't necessarilydraw near the same if you're not
(19:38):
going through, and so I thinkthere's some, some aspect of
like we as in our humanity andthe way we are designed, these
trials and tribulations arereally here for us yeah, and I
think it's.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
It draws you closer and God wants you to depend on
him and not yourself.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yes, absolutely, I mean that, that's so true.
I I think about the aspect oflike all it really is is
developing a new level of trust,like I, I feel like every
challenge, every circumstance itpushes you to a new level of
one, recognizing how much youneed him.
And then this level of trust tosay I surrender it to you
(20:24):
because I'm I clearly cannotcontrol the circumstance, but
you are the one that can right.
So you know I have to ask, likeit in that one of the one that
can right, so you know I have toask.
Like in that one of the thingsthat comes to mind is like how
would you recommend that someoneis maintaining hope?
Right, like, we know thesethings mentally, like mentally,
(20:45):
I know, yes, suffering, you know, produces.
If suffering produces enduranceand produces character,
produces hope.
So I need the suffering.
But then how do I have thatsuffering when I haven't
necessarily gone through theformula to produce hope yet?
So what would you say tosomeone who's trying to maintain
hope in some challengingcircumstance?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Um, I, you know, what I teach the ladies in the in my
group is, uh, that in able tofind hope, you have to find the
joy in every situation.
And that might be easier saidthan done, but I always tell
them, okay, if you just think,what has God delivered you from?
Um, so, um, someone could facea, um, a unexpected, uh doctor's
(21:48):
report, but you, you can remindyourself, like, what has God
delivered me from?
And so you just recall thosetimes that God has done wonders
in your life, or those smallmoments where he got to pass a
certain circumstance, and so youjust recall that.
(22:10):
But if, if you can't think ofanything at the moment, you can
just go borrow your neighbors,um, moments of how they have,
how they went through asituation, and God delivered
them.
So you, you hold on to hope byroom, by constant reminders of
(22:30):
what God has done before, andthis is so true of when God
delivered the Israelites fromPharaoh.
You know, what kept them inthat time frame of 40 years was
(22:52):
not merely because God didn'twant to deliver them right away.
He wanted them to call on him,he, he wanted them to remind
themselves each day that my godis purposeful, my god is good,
my god is sovereign, and so you.
(23:12):
You want to always find the joyin this, the joy in the chaos,
or joy in the small things, andcount it all as blessings yes,
yes, very true.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I mean, we know the scripture says count it all, joy
right, when we have thesetrials and tribulations, and so
that is a great way to look athow we need hope is to really
find the joy in thecircumstances.
So, as we kind of talk aboutthis and wrap up this journey of
going through hard things I dowant to talk about.
(23:48):
So you are a women'sempowerment coach, right,
correct?
Okay, so tell me a little bitmore about what you do and what
you do to help your community ofwomen.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
So I empower passionate, high driven women
who experience the loss of aloved one to re, to overcome the
pain, regain confidence and toturn their dream into reality.
Um.
So any any women between 35 to55 um who have endured um a loss
(24:26):
, but it's just um, not notrecently, but if it's been a
year or more, because I know howit, what it's like to get stuck
in your grief, stuck in um thatcycle of repeating um negative,
(24:47):
uh toxic thoughts, um, and sothat's what that's where my
heart goes out to women whoexperience being in a state of
grief for a year or longer yes,and I uh go ahead.
Oh no, please you go ahead um,so I really help to um.
(25:12):
You know, it all starts startswith changing your mindset and
it starts with one decision.
And if you just take thatbecause overcoming saying you
are dealing with grief, but take, it's when you take action that
you that you learn to healthrough the pain, you learn to
(25:35):
relive life with those, the onesthat you still have left, it's
finding um, it's honoring yourloved one and rewriting your
story so that you tell yourselfbecause if you don't tell your
mind that you're writing a newstory but you, just your mind is
(26:00):
not going to keep up with you.
You have to constantly tell itevery day that positive
affirmations whereas you'restuck in a state of grief.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Yes, yes, I love that .
You know, I was just going tosay, like, as I think about my
own story of grief, right.
And so there is definitely,when you lose a loved one,
there's this concept likeeveryone is there at the
beginning, right, like it'salmost like this overwhelming
feeling of everyone beingpresent.
And then when, as time goes on,that's when the grief actually
(26:37):
gets deeper and that's when thegrief tends to.
You know, you have to fight offeven spirits of oppression and
depression and all kinds ofrejection.
You know, I went through aseason of blaming myself and
blaming my husband, and thenblaming God and then blaming
everybody else around me, right.
And so there's all theseaspects that, you're right, are
(27:02):
on the inside.
That tends to lead to like theactions that we see on the
outside, and it's so importantthat we work with the inside
first, you know, before we tryand attack, in a sense, like the
outside.
I I just had coffee with a ladyand we were talking through some
aspects of grief and she wasexpressing like that this
particular person is kind ofstruggling with turning to
(27:22):
alcohol, and you know, thethought has been like let's
attack the thing of alcohol.
And I'm like, well, like let'sattack the thing that's causing
that the run to the alcohol,right, that's just a symptom of
like this is what they're goingto, to try and help fill the
void.
But if we attack the void onthe inside, it will
(27:44):
automatically help us deal withthat thing that we're seeing on
the outside.
And so I yeah you, I was gonnasay I love how you're walking
women through that yes, yougotta first identify the problem
of what's keeping you set yes,absolutely so.
(28:05):
Our listeners I know they may betuning in right now and saying,
okay, like I want to be a partof this safe place, I want to be
a part of, like I have a griefthat I'm processing, or they
just want to be connected forempowerment.
What are the ways that they canbe connected to you?
How can they stay in contact?
How can they even get yourconsistent hope and joy coming
(28:28):
out through to them?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
So you I am on Facebook, which you'll link that
Nicole will link the link belowand you can just follow me
there.
You can.
You're able to schedule aone-on-one breakthrough session
with me to hear about your story, to identify what you're
(28:56):
struggling with, and we'll painta picture of where you want to
go.
But not just only that.
You'll be invited to a groupwhere other women who have
suffered the same grief or lossthat you have and you'll have a
(29:20):
community that supports you andencourages you and motivates you
.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yes, All right, I love that.
So y'all you heard Miss Sophia,we will.
We have the link there in theshow notes there for you.
So please go and connect withher on Facebook.
Stay connected If you need thehelp and the resources.
We always say at GracevilleCommunity.
That's what we're here for.
We're here to help you findconnections just like this, so
(29:49):
that you can get the resourcesand assistance and community
that you need.
We all need community.
It doesn't matter what stage ofour walk that we're in, what
stage of life that we're in, andI even venture as far to say it
doesn't even matter where youare within your stage with
Christ.
We need community.
We were not created to do lifealone, and so do not isolate,
(30:12):
but go to Facebook and connectwith Sophia Before we go.
I do want to ask Sophia I tendto ask our guests sometimes from
time to time just like what'sthe scripture that you hold to?
What is the scripture that islike?
This is my verse.
This has carried me through.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
What's one for you?
My favorite has been since Iwas a child.
Um has always been I can do allthings through Christ, um
through who strengthens me, andthe reason so is because um
everybody's told me I can't dothis, I can't do that, but I say
um, I will show them, becauseactions without words, without
(30:58):
actions, is dead.
So, yeah, I can do all thingsthrough Christ, who strengthens
me.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Yes, absolutely, I love it.
I love it.
I mean, all scripture is good,all scripture is life, because
this Bible that we read is aliving word.
Right, it is Jesus, and so Ilove that scripture.
Definitely hold true to that aswell.
I can do all things throughChrist, who strengthens me, and
(31:27):
I think the key component of itI cannot get off this podcast
without saying is through Christ, through Christ, to do all
things through Christ.
So I would say to our listenersand our viewers today if you are
someone that's like I'm not sosure about this thing with
Christ, I encourage you, feelfree to connect with us at
Gracefield Community.
You can always email us at growat Gracefield Community or
(31:49):
connect with us Facebook,instagram, gracefield Community
and we would love to walk youthrough answering the questions.
Y'all, we ain't scared, we'renot running from them.
Whatever questions you havelike, look, if we don't know the
answers, guess what?
We don't find them out.
We don't do this together, andso I must highlight that that is
a phenomenal scripture and thatis absolutely true.
You can do all things throughChrist, who strengthened you.
(32:12):
So make sure that you'reconnected with Christ.
He is the way, the truth andthe life.
So, sophia, I want to thank youso much for tuning not tuning
in, cause, I mean, we weretuning into you.
I felt like I was able to justsit here and be like girl, tell
me your story, and so thank youfor being willing to come on and
just be vulnerable and shareyour transparent heart behind
(32:36):
your own experiences and what'scarried you through.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You're welcome, nicole.
I love your, your upbeatattitude and you just do the.
You just have fun, enjoy yourpodcast.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Yes, well, I mean, that's what it's about.
Right, we talk about joy, wehave to carry joy, and we got to
carry joy and share it amongsteach other.
So thank you.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Bye, all right.
Graceville community listeners,thanks once again for tuning in
, as always.
If you are in need of communityor looking for a place of
support, know that you can reachout to Graceville community
through grow at grow atgracevillecommunitycom.
Once again, that's grow atgracevillecommunitycom Listeners
, tune in too.
(33:22):
Make sure to check your shownotes.
We have Sophia Carpenter'sinformation there for you.
Go find her on Facebook,connect with her and be
empowered.
Thanks again for tuning in, asalways.
May God be with you.
Thank you for tuning in totoday's episode of Graceville
(33:43):
Community Podcast.
We would like to invite you tovisit gracevillecommunitycom.
Graceville Community is allabout doing church the way
Church of Acts did, using fivemain principles that we see in
the book of Acts.
Sharing resources, as believerspooled their possessions and
(34:05):
resources to support those inneed, as we see in Acts 2.44.
Through hospitality the earlyChristians practiced hospitality
by opening their homes toothers, as we see in Acts 2 and
46.
By financial aid the church inAntioch sent financial aid to
(34:27):
believers in Judea during a timeof famine, as described in Acts
11 and 29.
Prayer and encouragement theysupported each other through
prayer and encouragement, as wesee in Acts 4 and 24.
And finally, spiritual guidance.
The apostles and eldersprovided spiritual guidance and
(34:50):
teaching to help strengthen andbuild the community, as we see
in Acts 1530.
I would like to encourage you.
If any of those areas are areasin which you are in need or can
contribute, please reach out toGraceville Community.
We are working together acrossthe world with ministries and
(35:12):
individuals alike to help bringback the church of Acts.
My name is Nicole Cater, your host, founder and
servant leader of GracevilleCommunity.
I want to thank you for tuningin to Graceville Community
Podcast.
This is a safe space, a placein which we just share stories
of how God has touchedindividuals' lives all across
the world and how they are nowimpacting the kingdom of God.
(00:21):
Thank you for tuning in.
Blessings to you.
Hello Graceville community, weare so excited to have you today
tuning in to our podcastepisode.
As always, I am uber excitedyes, I said it, uber excited for
our recording today and thestory that will be shared on
(00:43):
today's podcast.
So, as always, I'm not agatekeeper, I'm not holding back
, we're going to dive right in.
Please help me.
Welcome, miss Sophia Carpenter.
Welcome, sophia, hi.
Speaker 2 (00:58):
Thank you for having me today.
Speaker 1 (01:03):
Oh, yes, it is absolutely my pleasure because I
am truly if you can hear it inmy voice I am excited for you to
just share your story with ouraudience.
I believe that this podcast isreally going to be one that just
inspires and encouragesindividuals, even when they're
in states of pressure andchallenges, and so we talked
(01:24):
about it before we startedrecording and I'm like I don't
want to read a bio, I want toget into your story, so tell us
about yourself okay, um, well,short story, um is uh, because I
have a told testimony, and um,so, um, when I was five I just
(01:45):
turned five I was involved in acar accident with my mom and dad
.
Speaker 2 (01:51):
We were, it was my first day of preschool, I was so
excited.
But a semi truck ran into theback of us and hit it straight
on and because I did not have myseatbelt on or I wasn't in the
(02:12):
car seat, I was thrown into thefront front, into the front seat
of the?
Um, and like, uh, the wind, thewindshield, it, um, I, it
shattered, and so I fell ondirectly on the glass and um, so
(02:35):
, uh, this whole half my facewas gone.
Um, and it took many surgeriesand um, but I think, in the
midst of all, that I think Godhad a perfect plan, as he always
does, but we just may notunderstand it.
(02:55):
Um, so I was taken to thehospital, to Children's Hospital
here in Fresno, and uh, theydid, uh, I had to go through a
lot of rehab and uh, get back tolife without using.
(03:16):
I was paralyzed from the midchest down and unable to move my
legs, and so it was a whole newway of life, learning how to do
things without the use of mylegs, and so that was one trauma
that affected my life andhaving because my dad was the um
(03:43):
, the only one who was leftunhurt, or um, he he would.
He just had minor scratches, um,but my mom took him from my dad
(04:11):
and put into foster care, whichleads me to my second trauma of
being placed in the home, awayfrom family and away from people
I did not know.
And the third trauma waslearning.
The third trauma was having tocope with the loss of my family,
(04:43):
and that really stuck with mefor a long time and it and I I
had, um, they call it spiral,spiraling up, and because I just
held on to so much anger, somuch um resentment, so much
(05:06):
anger and um, I took it on thewrong people and I just was like
a volcano, just like waiting, Iwas simmering at the bottom but
then, when I exploded, um,that's when, like, my whole life
turned upside down.
(05:28):
Like how, how did I get here?
Or um, why?
Because it was like a um, ifyou just can't imagine closing
your eyes and just blinking um,or waking up, opening your eyes
and just having your whole lifetransition before you're, before
(05:50):
you.
Speaker 1 (05:52):
Okay.
So, man, I mean, what's somewhat we call, you know, in this
world of a psychology sense,right, we will call it like
little traumas and big traumas,and we know that like little
traumas and big traumas, and weknow that, like little traumas
definitely affect us.
Sometimes the little traumascan affect us, you know, because
they carry on right, but youhave these major traumas that
(06:17):
really led to little traumas.
So, as I'm hearing it, Iliterally am seeing like this,
this rocky path right Of likeyeah, hey, here's a big trauma,
but now there's all these littletraumas because of this big
trauma.
So I'm still like this, andthen, oh, there's another big
trauma and now I'm still likethis again.
Man, like what a testament thatyou're even here today and able
(06:40):
to talk about, like what goingthrough those traumas have been.
I mean, that's a lot rightthere.
One of the questions that Ijust immediately am like I want
to ask you is how was your faithduring those darkest moments?
Like where was your faith withGod?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Well, it was funny because remember how I talked
about, god has a mighty plan, amasterpiece right, and he knows
every situation, everyindividual.
About Jesus that I learned thelove of God um through the woman
(07:26):
who was, um, at the time, myfoster care mom.
She later adopted me, but it'sit's having the opportunity to
know who Christ is, who to knowof his love, and um it, being in
the foster care home, I knew Iwas well provided for, I had
(07:48):
food to eat, I had a nice bed tosleep in, I every it placed
opportunities in my life that Iwould have never even imagined
myself in, that I would havenever even imagined myself in.
And it's like the littleblessings that are placed in our
(08:13):
lives that, for me, my parentswere migrant pickers and so we
had little.
We had each other, and we hadeach other and food to eat and a
place to sleep, and but when Ientered into this new home that
(08:36):
that opened my eyes to and to beable to do more things.
It was like I, I, I saw it as ablessing because, um, in this
home, I, um, I had everythingthat I could ever want.
(08:57):
I was able to travel um to likejust even San Jose or
Sacramento, or even flying toPhoenix to visit my relatives.
That was.
It was like God showing me thatthere is opportunities in every
(09:21):
little thing.
you do yes yes, and how that?
Can you repeat the questionagain?
Speaker 1 (09:29):
I sometimes get off, oh yeah, no, no, no, it's fine.
I'm like you're actuallyanswering the question right now
.
It was just kind of how faithguided you in it, and what I'm
hearing you essentially say isthat you would see God in all
those little moments that yourfaith was kind of like.
You would see him in thosemoments of being able to be in a
space where you can now haveaccess to just everything you
(09:51):
need to travel and so forth.
Speaker 2 (09:54):
Yeah, and it actually .
We went on two cruises to, on aDisney cruise and I got to swim
with the dolphins, and it'sjust learning to recognize those
little moments where God isthere in the midst of your
circumstance, in the midst ofchaos, in the midst of when
(10:18):
you're feeling so overwhelmed.
You just I know it's hard to dosometimes, but you just have to
silence yourself and pray theprayer of Lord.
Reveal to me your plans andpurpose for this season that I
am in and just to, to, to quietdown my noise so you can be um,
(10:43):
so you can speak, your, so youcan speak.
Your servant is listening.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Yes, I love that.
I mean, I immediately thinkabout the aspect.
It's what we quote often and itseems to be like an easy verse
which is one of the hardestthings, right, but it literally
is just be still and know that Iam God.
And sometimes it's in thatquiet moment of just being still
, not trying to respond tocircumstances, not trying to
respond to circumstances, nottrying to even change the
circumstance, but be still in itand know that he is God, he is
(11:10):
in control and he really doeshave our best interest at heart
and have a plan for us.
You know I think about you.
You stated Fresno.
I had about a span of six yearsthat my husband and I lived in
Fresno.
I had about a span of six yearsthat my husband and I lived in
Fresno and I would essentiallysay that those six years were
part of some of our rough years,of our story.
(11:31):
And even when I think about likethe timeline that we carry and
it's very much like hills andvalleys, hills and valleys,
right but when I think aboutthat it was in those hardest
challenging times that I had themost growth.
And I think about how we oftenlook at challenges and we look
(11:54):
at trials, and sometimes there'sthis aspect of like oh like.
Why am I here when really ourresponse should be what do you
want me to take from this?
How do you want me to grow inthis?
How do you want me to grow inthis?
How do you want me to developin this?
What are you trying to work outof me that's maybe inside of me
that needs to get free, right,you know?
(12:15):
In thinking about that, I haveto ask, of course, like, what
spiritual practices play a partof you staying strong in the
midst of all of these challenges?
Speaker 2 (12:27):
okay, great question.
Um, I um, I call myself a womanof god, uh, but others may call
it as christianity.
Um, I'm more spiritual, amreligion, um, but that that is
what my, my specific um insightsare into that, and what brings
(12:52):
me comfort is that knowing thatthere's a higher and bigger
person in the midst ofeverything that goes on around
me.
Because if you try to, um, ifyou try to even emphasize, like
how could I be going throughthis um massive let's take, for
(13:16):
example, a divorce?
Um, so if you try to understandit from your mindset, oh boy,
you would be there like spinningyour burning rubber inside your
mind, already written your,your story out, and who who has
(13:45):
it all for the benefit of hisglory.
That just, um, that just bringsclosure to me, because you are
not in it alone you are.
you are more than conquerors andit's even in those um, you know
, I call it um, uh, uh, for uh,molding, molding, um and
(14:14):
sculpting is in those timeswhere god is taking the parts of
you, that um, molding you andsculptorns.
If you say uh, and he'spreparing you for the role that
(14:44):
he has, for his purposes, um,and that's if you think of it as
on the potter's wheel, he's um,you know you, you're, you don't
come, you're not a baby.
It depends what, what a stage inlife you are at, but I think
(15:04):
it's like he's, he's making youin his image and he and the part
(15:38):
of that in making you in hisimage, it's it's it hurts
because he's he's stripping awaythe parts of you that that don
um a refining process and, yes,it's gonna be like you're gonna
want.
You have all these emotions andum like thoughts of lord.
When is this gonna be over?
Speaker 3 (17:08):
hey, let's take a quick break.
You, thank you.
To learn more or get any of ouramazing Shackley products,
visit the website displayed onthe screen or in the show notes
of this podcast.
Speaker 2 (17:19):
But you have to remind yourself that you, you're
, you're placed in a world wherethe world has different views,
where where you're, what you see, what you, you hear, it all
plays a part.
And so to be in a version ofhim that takes work, that takes
(17:42):
um discipline, that takes skill,and so hang in there, don't
give up if you're in the processof refining.
And just just, I always sayyour darkest moments are um, are
your um, your darkest momentsare your um your refining.
(18:08):
There's purpose in the dark yes, absolutely.
Speaker 1 (18:13):
I mean, I think about it.
I tend to say, like how paintends to lead to your passion,
like it's those moments thatwere the most painful moments
that I grew the most from andreally led into the things that
I'm most passionate about, right, and so, unfortunately, it
seems to be that in thosechallenges, in those traumas, in
those spaces is where we reallyfind that we have this massive
(18:35):
level of growth, right, um,there's this massive development
and really I think about, evenin the aspect of, like someone
would say, well, why does Godallow us to have some of these
trials and tribulations which weknow?
Scripture says we will?
Um, and I, I have to be realwith myself.
Like it is when I'm goingthrough challenges that I am the
absolute closest with Godbecause, listen, my knees are
(18:57):
getting worn out, I'm like apraying and calling on his name,
I'm worshiping more than everbefore, I'm giving him all of my
emotions, I'm in tears and soforth.
Like I am in that closest leveland I would love to say like,
oh y'all, I match that levelevery day, but when things are
good and when things are smooth,you almost can get in a sense
(19:17):
of I wanna say just regularityor a sense of like.
Okay, I checked the box, like,yep, I said hello to God, I
spent some time with him.
Yep, check the box.
I did this, versus really likepouring into and really sitting
with, and you don't necessarilydraw near the same if you're not
(19:38):
going through, and so I thinkthere's some, some aspect of
like we as in our humanity andthe way we are designed, these
trials and tribulations arereally here for us yeah, and I
think it's.
Speaker 2 (19:54):
It draws you closer and God wants you to depend on
him and not yourself.
Speaker 1 (20:00):
Yes, absolutely, I mean that, that's so true.
I I think about the aspect oflike all it really is is
developing a new level of trust,like I, I feel like every
challenge, every circumstance itpushes you to a new level of
one, recognizing how much youneed him.
And then this level of trust tosay I surrender it to you
(20:24):
because I'm I clearly cannotcontrol the circumstance, but
you are the one that can right.
So you know I have to ask, likeit in that one of the one that
can right, so you know I have toask.
Like in that one of the thingsthat comes to mind is like how
would you recommend that someoneis maintaining hope?
Right, like, we know thesethings mentally, like mentally,
(20:45):
I know, yes, suffering, you know, produces.
If suffering produces enduranceand produces character,
produces hope.
So I need the suffering.
But then how do I have thatsuffering when I haven't
necessarily gone through theformula to produce hope yet?
So what would you say tosomeone who's trying to maintain
hope in some challengingcircumstance?
Speaker 2 (21:20):
Um, I, you know, what I teach the ladies in the in my
group is, uh, that in able tofind hope, you have to find the
joy in every situation.
And that might be easier saidthan done, but I always tell
them, okay, if you just think,what has God delivered you from?
Um, so, um, someone could facea, um, a unexpected, uh doctor's
(21:48):
report, but you, you can remindyourself, like, what has God
delivered me from?
And so you just recall thosetimes that God has done wonders
in your life, or those smallmoments where he got to pass a
certain circumstance, and so youjust recall that.
(22:10):
But if, if you can't think ofanything at the moment, you can
just go borrow your neighbors,um, moments of how they have,
how they went through asituation, and God delivered
them.
So you, you hold on to hope byroom, by constant reminders of
(22:30):
what God has done before, andthis is so true of when God
delivered the Israelites fromPharaoh.
You know, what kept them inthat time frame of 40 years was
(22:52):
not merely because God didn'twant to deliver them right away.
He wanted them to call on him,he, he wanted them to remind
themselves each day that my godis purposeful, my god is good,
my god is sovereign, and so you.
(23:12):
You want to always find the joyin this, the joy in the chaos,
or joy in the small things, andcount it all as blessings yes,
yes, very true.
Speaker 1 (23:25):
I mean, we know the scripture says count it all, joy
right, when we have thesetrials and tribulations, and so
that is a great way to look athow we need hope is to really
find the joy in thecircumstances.
So, as we kind of talk aboutthis and wrap up this journey of
going through hard things I dowant to talk about.
(23:48):
So you are a women'sempowerment coach, right,
correct?
Okay, so tell me a little bitmore about what you do and what
you do to help your community ofwomen.
Speaker 2 (24:01):
So I empower passionate, high driven women
who experience the loss of aloved one to re, to overcome the
pain, regain confidence and toturn their dream into reality.
Um.
So any any women between 35 to55 um who have endured um a loss
(24:26):
, but it's just um, not notrecently, but if it's been a
year or more, because I know howit, what it's like to get stuck
in your grief, stuck in um thatcycle of repeating um negative,
(24:47):
uh toxic thoughts, um, and sothat's what that's where my
heart goes out to women whoexperience being in a state of
grief for a year or longer yes,and I uh go ahead.
Oh no, please you go ahead um,so I really help to um.
(25:12):
You know, it all starts startswith changing your mindset and
it starts with one decision.
And if you just take thatbecause overcoming saying you
are dealing with grief, but take, it's when you take action that
you that you learn to healthrough the pain, you learn to
(25:35):
relive life with those, the onesthat you still have left, it's
finding um, it's honoring yourloved one and rewriting your
story so that you tell yourselfbecause if you don't tell your
mind that you're writing a newstory but you, just your mind is
(26:00):
not going to keep up with you.
You have to constantly tell itevery day that positive
affirmations whereas you'restuck in a state of grief.
Speaker 1 (26:12):
Yes, yes, I love that .
You know, I was just going tosay, like, as I think about my
own story of grief, right.
And so there is definitely,when you lose a loved one,
there's this concept likeeveryone is there at the
beginning, right, like it'salmost like this overwhelming
feeling of everyone beingpresent.
And then when, as time goes on,that's when the grief actually
(26:37):
gets deeper and that's when thegrief tends to.
You know, you have to fight offeven spirits of oppression and
depression and all kinds ofrejection.
You know, I went through aseason of blaming myself and
blaming my husband, and thenblaming God and then blaming
everybody else around me, right.
And so there's all theseaspects that, you're right, are
(27:02):
on the inside.
That tends to lead to like theactions that we see on the
outside, and it's so importantthat we work with the inside
first, you know, before we tryand attack, in a sense, like the
outside.
I I just had coffee with a ladyand we were talking through some
aspects of grief and she wasexpressing like that this
particular person is kind ofstruggling with turning to
(27:22):
alcohol, and you know, thethought has been like let's
attack the thing of alcohol.
And I'm like, well, like let'sattack the thing that's causing
that the run to the alcohol,right, that's just a symptom of
like this is what they're goingto, to try and help fill the
void.
But if we attack the void onthe inside, it will
(27:44):
automatically help us deal withthat thing that we're seeing on
the outside.
And so I yeah you, I was gonnasay I love how you're walking
women through that yes, yougotta first identify the problem
of what's keeping you set yes,absolutely so.
(28:05):
Our listeners I know they may betuning in right now and saying,
okay, like I want to be a partof this safe place, I want to be
a part of, like I have a griefthat I'm processing, or they
just want to be connected forempowerment.
What are the ways that they canbe connected to you?
How can they stay in contact?
How can they even get yourconsistent hope and joy coming
(28:28):
out through to them?
Speaker 2 (28:31):
So you I am on Facebook, which you'll link that
Nicole will link the link belowand you can just follow me
there.
You can.
You're able to schedule aone-on-one breakthrough session
with me to hear about your story, to identify what you're
(28:56):
struggling with, and we'll painta picture of where you want to
go.
But not just only that.
You'll be invited to a groupwhere other women who have
suffered the same grief or lossthat you have and you'll have a
(29:20):
community that supports you andencourages you and motivates you
.
Speaker 1 (29:26):
Yes, All right, I love that.
So y'all you heard Miss Sophia,we will.
We have the link there in theshow notes there for you.
So please go and connect withher on Facebook.
Stay connected If you need thehelp and the resources.
We always say at GracevilleCommunity.
That's what we're here for.
We're here to help you findconnections just like this, so
(29:49):
that you can get the resourcesand assistance and community
that you need.
We all need community.
It doesn't matter what stage ofour walk that we're in, what
stage of life that we're in, andI even venture as far to say it
doesn't even matter where youare within your stage with
Christ.
We need community.
We were not created to do lifealone, and so do not isolate,
(30:12):
but go to Facebook and connectwith Sophia Before we go.
I do want to ask Sophia I tendto ask our guests sometimes from
time to time just like what'sthe scripture that you hold to?
What is the scripture that islike?
This is my verse.
This has carried me through.
Speaker 2 (30:33):
What's one for you?
My favorite has been since Iwas a child.
Um has always been I can do allthings through Christ, um
through who strengthens me, andthe reason so is because um
everybody's told me I can't dothis, I can't do that, but I say
um, I will show them, becauseactions without words, without
(30:58):
actions, is dead.
So, yeah, I can do all thingsthrough Christ, who strengthens
me.
Speaker 1 (31:05):
Yes, absolutely, I love it.
I love it.
I mean, all scripture is good,all scripture is life, because
this Bible that we read is aliving word.
Right, it is Jesus, and so Ilove that scripture.
Definitely hold true to that aswell.
I can do all things throughChrist, who strengthens me, and
(31:27):
I think the key component of itI cannot get off this podcast
without saying is through Christ, through Christ, to do all
things through Christ.
So I would say to our listenersand our viewers today if you are
someone that's like I'm not sosure about this thing with
Christ, I encourage you, feelfree to connect with us at
Gracefield Community.
You can always email us at growat Gracefield Community or
(31:49):
connect with us Facebook,instagram, gracefield Community
and we would love to walk youthrough answering the questions.
Y'all, we ain't scared, we'renot running from them.
Whatever questions you havelike, look, if we don't know the
answers, guess what?
We don't find them out.
We don't do this together, andso I must highlight that that is
a phenomenal scripture and thatis absolutely true.
You can do all things throughChrist, who strengthened you.
(32:12):
So make sure that you'reconnected with Christ.
He is the way, the truth andthe life.
So, sophia, I want to thank youso much for tuning not tuning
in, cause, I mean, we weretuning into you.
I felt like I was able to justsit here and be like girl, tell
me your story, and so thank youfor being willing to come on and
just be vulnerable and shareyour transparent heart behind
(32:36):
your own experiences and what'scarried you through.
Speaker 2 (32:39):
You're welcome, nicole.
I love your, your upbeatattitude and you just do the.
You just have fun, enjoy yourpodcast.
Speaker 1 (32:52):
Yes, well, I mean, that's what it's about.
Right, we talk about joy, wehave to carry joy, and we got to
carry joy and share it amongsteach other.
So thank you.
Speaker 2 (33:01):
Bye.
Speaker 1 (33:02):
Bye, all right.
Graceville community listeners,thanks once again for tuning in
, as always.
If you are in need of communityor looking for a place of
support, know that you can reachout to Graceville community
through grow at grow atgracevillecommunitycom.
Once again, that's grow atgracevillecommunitycom Listeners
, tune in too.
(33:22):
Make sure to check your shownotes.
We have Sophia Carpenter'sinformation there for you.
Go find her on Facebook,connect with her and be
empowered.
Thanks again for tuning in, asalways.
May God be with you.
Thank you for tuning in totoday's episode of Graceville
(33:43):
Community Podcast.
We would like to invite you tovisit gracevillecommunitycom.
Graceville Community is allabout doing church the way
Church of Acts did, using fivemain principles that we see in
the book of Acts.
Sharing resources, as believerspooled their possessions and
(34:05):
resources to support those inneed, as we see in Acts 2.44.
Through hospitality the earlyChristians practiced hospitality
by opening their homes toothers, as we see in Acts 2 and
46.
By financial aid the church inAntioch sent financial aid to
(34:27):
believers in Judea during a timeof famine, as described in Acts
11 and 29.
Prayer and encouragement theysupported each other through
prayer and encouragement, as wesee in Acts 4 and 24.
And finally, spiritual guidance.
The apostles and eldersprovided spiritual guidance and
(34:50):
teaching to help strengthen andbuild the community, as we see
in Acts 1530.
I would like to encourage you.
If any of those areas are areasin which you are in need or can
contribute, please reach out toGraceville Community.
We are working together acrossthe world with ministries and
(35:12):
individuals alike to help bringback the church of Acts.
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