June 20, 2025 • 37 mins
What if the greatest personal development path wasn’t in a book or course—but in the bold decision to build something from your soul?
Keocha (K.) LaFleur-Anders is not just a serial entrepreneur—she’s a creative force, a TEDx curator, and a visionary leader using media and storytelling to create lasting impact. As the founder of Coffee Milk Media, a social impact strategy and storytelling agency, and Chestnut Publishing House, K. helps leaders bring their purpose to life through words, wellness, and meaningful visibility.
In this rich and deeply reflective episode of GRASP Confidence, K. pulls back the curtain on her own journey and invites us into a conversation that is as vulnerable as it is empowering. We explore how entrepreneurship is the ultimate mirror, reflecting back our fears, beliefs, and deepest truths. She shares how building multiple businesses stretched her identity, tested her mindset, and ultimately became the greatest path of personal development.
We also dive into:
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The mindset shifts needed to embrace money as a tool for impact—not a source of shame
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The non-negotiable role of gratitude in creating sustainable success, especially for women leaders
-
How creative wellness and storytelling can transform not just brands, but lives
-
What it really takes to become a thought leader who leads with care, clarity, and confidence
As the executive producer of TEDxRound Rock Women, K. is no stranger to elevating women’s voices on powerful stages. Her work bridges the worlds of creative strategy, community healing, and purpose-led entrepreneurship—and her perspective is both grounded and visionary.
Whether you're a purpose-driven entrepreneur, an emerging thought leader, or simply someone navigating your next chapter with faith and intention—this conversation will speak directly to your soul.
🌴 Ready to take this work deeper?
Tara’s upcoming Christian women’s retreat in Cabo (January 2026) is a luxury, spirit-led experience designed to help you realign, recharge, and step boldly into your divine calling. Spots are filling quickly, learn more here!
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
What if true success didn't
come from doing more,
but from aligning more
deeply with who you are?
Meet Kay LaFleur Anders,
creative wellness coach, storyteller,
and founder of Coffee Milk Media,
known for her powerful
presence and gift for
translating complex ideas
(00:24):
into actionable insight.
Kay helps leaders and
organizations prioritize
well-being as the starting
point for sustainable impact.
Through her signature retreats, workshops,
and podcast, Reset with Kay,
she equips founders, teams,
(00:45):
and change makers to lead with clarity,
communicate with intention,
and live in harmony with
purpose and peace.
Her mission?
To spark a cultural shift
where success and self-care
go hand in hand.
Tune in as Kay shares her journey,
her faith-fueled wisdom,
and her bold vision
(01:06):
for reshaping how we lead,
create and thrive.
This episode will ignite something in you.
Absolutely.
Kay, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for having me.
Absolutely.
This is a fun adventure.
We met on LinkedIn,
headed off immediately.
I learned about you.
(01:27):
You learned about me.
We met a couple times and
now here we are in podcast world.
Yes, that's a beautiful thing.
I love the way that that
happens organically.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Well, tell us, you know,
a little bit about who you are,
what you're doing right now,
because you are a woman who, like myself,
wears many hats.
(01:47):
I can barely keep up with you.
But what do you have going
on in your life right now that's exciting,
Kay?
You know,
it's funny because I can hardly
keep up with myself too.
I'm like, what am I doing today?
It's a very difficult
question sometimes when people say,
what do you do?
And I'm like, today?
But yes, I am Kayla Fleur Anders.
(02:08):
I always like to say the K
stands for Keosha because
sometimes people think K-A-Y.
I am originally from Louisiana.
I've been living in the Austin, Texas area,
specifically Round Rock for
the past eighteen years.
And I love it here.
I'm a community embracer wherever I go.
I'm all about like,
what can we do in the community?
And because of that,
(02:30):
we have and I say we
because I have an amazing team,
which I'm super grateful for.
We are planning a TEDx event
here and it's TEDx Round Rock Women.
So that is taking up a lot of my
time and energy, but I'm not complaining.
I'm super grateful for it.
And then also on the other side of things,
there's Coffee Milk Media
(02:50):
and we are working behind
the scenes in the ideation
process for some documentaries.
having conversations about
apps and animations,
kind of in the ideation
stage of everything right now,
because what we're focused
on at the moment is workshops,
storytelling workshops,
both for leaders and their organizations,
their teams, and some consulting.
(03:13):
And then the other side of that,
I am a wellness coach,
which I try to switch it up
a little bit and not say
coach as much as I am a consultant.
And in that
That I think is, that's one of the,
that's my favorite thing to
do if I'm super honest,
because I get to curate and
create spaces where women
(03:36):
leaders for the most part
and founders are coming in
for an opportunity to breathe.
Like they need a break and
they need to focus on themselves.
And we get to use things
like rest as a strategy,
clarity as a strategy, peace.
as a strategy.
So it's very well being
focused because I believe
in holistic success and
that we're not just, you know,
(03:57):
which we shouldn't be
chasing money anyway.
There are things that we
should be pursuing like
peace and the money will come.
But holistic success really looks at
everything as a whole and
it's not just about the
financial piece it's also
your social well-being your
emotional well-being for
totality like a wholeness
of success and so that's my
(04:19):
favorite thing to do
because I work with a lot
of organizations that are
in the healing space and
it's just it's beautiful
work it can sometimes get
heavy but it's super
beautiful I love that
You know, it's interesting.
I always wondered why this happened,
but I would meet with folks and, you know,
I would think they were
going to talk to me about
(04:39):
branding or confidence or
personal development or
something like that.
And they ended up asking me
questions about money and success.
And I think this is really important.
You hit on something that
it's really hard to
get people to understand who
are chasing money,
(04:59):
who are chasing success.
When you have internal peace,
success is a byproduct of that.
And I like to tell this to
people because if you're in
a state of anxiety,
so let's say you're in survival mode,
(05:20):
you're thinking about how
can I get money?
How can I make money?
How can I
get these things into my life,
you're operating from a
place of lack and a place of uncertainty,
a place of unsustainability.
Money is not attracted to that.
You're not at the same vibration as money.
(05:43):
You're not going to be
aligned with money because
you're in a survival state.
So when you're in a state of peace,
when you're in a state of security,
the money flows naturally
because that's the
vibrational state of money.
It's a state of already having it.
It's abundance, right?
Oh, my gosh.
(06:03):
It's so hard for me to
convince people of this
because we live in this culture of hustle,
hustle, grind, grind, grind.
And people don't understand it.
What do you think about that?
I think you hit the nail on the head.
It's so true.
And I lived it.
I lived it.
So I know it's true.
You know, Chestnut had already started.
(06:24):
I started that while I was
working at Dell Technologies.
So I wasn't pushing the
publishing house anymore.
Because financially, I didn't have to,
honestly.
And we had other things going on.
My husband had his own business,
a sports performance business.
So I didn't want to push
Chestnut too much.
It was fun for me at first,
until I was laid off.
(06:45):
And I was part of this round
of workforce reductions.
And immediately,
Even with a severance,
immediately I went into
survival mode because I was afraid.
And I'm thinking, oh my God,
I'm not getting this check
every two weeks anymore.
I have to hit the ground
running with this publishing thing.
I got to go with it.
And what I started doing,
because when you're in survival mode,
(07:06):
and I want to make sure I
stay on topic with finances
not being as far as attraction,
because you're so right with that.
When you're in survival mode,
you're not thinking anything.
You know,
there's no like there's no
slowdown because right now
is all you're thinking about.
There's no sustainability thoughts.
There's nothing about long term.
(07:28):
There's nothing about the
decisions that I make right now.
What does that look like in a year?
Because that's a real thing, right?
The decisions we make right now,
we'll see the effects of that next year.
There's none of that.
You just keep going, keep moving,
keep going.
And for me,
it wasn't that I wasn't making money.
I was,
but I was lowering my standards as
far as the fact,
like what I was charging
(07:50):
because I was just so desperate.
Survival mode puts you in a
state of desperation.
And when you're in a state of desperation,
you start to attract those
types of people and clients, right?
You start to attract these
different things because
you're not thinking with an
abundant mindset.
It's really with a lack mindset, right?
(08:10):
And it was, it showed up later.
At first I was like, oh, this is going,
it's going.
And then I'm burning myself out, right?
I'm burning myself out
because all I wanna do is survive.
Just wanna survive.
Which in hindsight,
if I could take it on back,
and really think about it
(08:31):
instead of going into survival mode,
which I do understand why I did.
That's a childhood thing,
that whole not wanting to
live like this type of thing.
But had I taken my time and
looked at the severance that I had,
I'm like, I have a severance package.
I really can invest this.
(08:52):
I can take a little bit more time,
build the foundation of my business.
And then move forward.
This is a great opportunity for me to rest,
maybe for like a month or so,
so I can get some planning done.
But survival mode will have
you just moving and then
you start to attract how you're moving.
And so you're so right about that.
(09:13):
The abundance that we seek,
even in business, to to be.
Quite honest for me,
I feel like I would have
had a better financial, I guess,
boost at the beginning of
my business had I really
taken the time to work on myself.
Had I really taken the time to rest,
(09:33):
to take a look at the emotional,
my emotional well-being
that had been damaged in
different situations?
I was grieving my dog last year.
I didn't take I didn't
really take like I didn't
stop to take care of that.
Like it was a number of different things.
But you're right,
because when I slowed down
October through the top of January,
I made it a point to say, OK, God,
(09:53):
I'm going to.
This is me and you.
We need to we need to have
some conversations.
I get it.
Like you've been trying to
sit me down and you sat me
down and now I'm listening.
Right.
And so that time that I sat
down and I slowed down,
that's when I really got
the revelation of, OK,
but you really need to look
at take a look at yourself
(10:14):
because you've been
attracting these things.
So do this with me this time
and let me show you what
abundance really looks like.
And so that's why I focus on
holistic success because if
you have healthy
relationships in your life,
you're successful.
That's success.
(10:35):
If you know how to generate, I mean,
I'm sorry, regulate your emotions,
that's success.
your emotional IQ is raising
because you're learning.
That's success, right?
It's not just finances.
When you work on the internal piece,
those things are attracted to you.
That's what you're putting
out and it's attracted to you.
(10:55):
So I love that you said that
because I one hundred
percent believe that
anytime somebody leads off with money,
I'm always listening for something else.
And it's like,
then they'll start talking about,
but my relationships are breakdown.
That's
OK,
so let's focus on that because you're
probably projecting things on people.
That's probably why you're
not getting these clients.
You have to check your attitude.
That has nothing to do with
(11:15):
like it's a whole thing.
And that's why I love
speaking about holistic success.
I love that.
And, you know, in my first TEDx talk,
I mentioned that gratitude
is the foundation of
confidence and confidence
is the foundation for success.
Right.
So really,
gratitude is the foundation for
all success in life.
(11:36):
And why is this?
Well, if we think about gratitude,
that's a position of
already in possession of, isn't it?
Right?
So if we're a grateful person,
that means that I'm already
in possession of things.
If I'm operating in a state
of lack of gratitude,
(11:57):
it means I'm wanting things.
And if you're wanting of anything,
you're projecting lack.
Oh, that's good.
You are projecting like and
you will attract like and
you keep you're going to
keep attracting the people
who are also in that same state.
(12:19):
So this is such an important
thing because I really want
people to understand this.
When I talk about gratitude,
it's not a feel good emotion.
It's not a fluffy term.
This is a real life changing
thing because it does rewire your brain,
right?
But it's about rewiring your
brain for success.
Okay.
(12:39):
How many times have we seen
somebody win the lottery or
a professional NFL player, sports player,
somebody like that,
or celebrity come into a
big windfall of money and lose it all.
And then some actually most
lottery winners.
end up in a greater
(13:00):
financial deficit than
before they won the lottery.
How is that possible?
So many people wonder how is
this even possible?
It's because they didn't
have the sustainability
that when that windfall of
money came into their lives,
they couldn't hold it.
The thing about gratitude is
(13:21):
it helps build the vessel,
the container for you to be able to
hold it oh I love that it's
so powerful I could really
talk about this for days
and I've been there you
know I mean I was I'm the
youngest of five children
(13:43):
we grew up in poverty a lot
of times it was even below
the poverty line I know
what it's like to be in a
situation of lack and
But just because you were
once in a situation of lack
does not mean that is your
entire story for the rest of your life.
Right?
Exactly.
Because it was the same
(14:04):
thing in my household.
Like my mom was a single mom.
She was a young mom.
She had me.
I'm the oldest.
Years later, she got married to my stepdad,
had my two sisters,
and they were married for
about eight years,
and then he passed away.
So now she's back as a
single mom of now three, right?
(14:24):
And my grandparents were
amazing in helping my mom,
always had been amazing.
But when my grandfather passed away,
she basically had to figure it out.
And so I remember what that looks like,
what that felt like,
what that looked like,
what that felt like.
Her not having gas in her
(14:45):
car to bring me to school activities,
an organization going
around giving food away to
people and knocking on the
door and delivering gifts
one year because she didn't
have the money to buy presents.
I remember that.
And so immediately for me,
when I was laid off of my job,
I'm thinking I don't like
(15:06):
fear kicked in and it's
like I don't want to I
don't want to um I don't
want my children to know
what that feels like I
don't want like that that
whole thing just being
really afraid but it's
funny that you brought up
gratitude I just
co-facilitated a cohort
last night it was a session
And that's what it was on.
Gratitude and speaking words of life,
(15:27):
right?
And how that totally shifts
your perspective about what
you're going through,
what you've been through,
like all the things.
And I remember going for a
walk with a friend at the
time and I didn't even pick
up on the fact that,
and I told this story last night,
which is why I brought it up.
I remember going on a walk
with this friend at the time and I was,
(15:51):
I didn't think I was
complaining because I had
been so used to just
expressing how I feel, right?
And so we're going on a walk
and we're on this hike and I'm like,
I feel like this and this
and I'm afraid of this and this.
And she said, can I tell you something?
I'm like, of course.
She's like,
you need to have more gratitude.
It is a game changer.
(16:13):
when you find those things
to be grateful for.
Because in every situation,
there's something to be grateful for.
And she said, I want you to try it.
And so I went home that day
because I was like, oh my God,
I've been over here like complaining.
Like I didn't even really
think about that because I
was just so used to speaking that way.
(16:34):
And I went home and I did what she said.
She said, it sounds so simple,
but it's so profound.
Write down ten things that
you're grateful for.
Ten things right off the bat.
She's like, tomorrow,
write down ten things that
you're grateful for.
Ten different things that
you're grateful for.
And just keep it going and
see how many things that
(16:54):
you... And every day I made
it a point to write down
ten different things that I
was grateful for each day.
And it was a game changer
for me because now...
both in business and in my
personal life when I'm
speaking to people about
things and it could be
heavy it could be a
heartbreak it could be a
loss of a job it doesn't
(17:15):
really matter what it is my
brain immediately clicks to
Not necessarily.
Yeah,
but because it's not discounting the
realness of what's actually happening.
Right.
But what's the lesson?
I remember Charles Stanley.
I was listening to him years ago.
I was in my early twenties and he said,
(17:36):
and I love this and I just stuck with me.
He said,
even when things get super tough
in your life, take a step back and say,
God,
what are you trying to teach me in
this moment?
Right.
And so I remembered that as
I was going through this
exercise of gratitude,
because even when things
weren't perfect in that day, I'm like,
(17:59):
okay, but what can I learn from that?
Right.
And so that's what I was grateful for.
I learned through those exercises.
What I realized is I was
super grateful for the lessons.
And so I would find a lesson
in everything.
I'm constantly finding a
lesson in things because I
actually want to grow.
So gratitude is,
also is like,
it's like a fertilizer in a
(18:20):
way to help you grow.
It helps in healing.
It helps in relationship,
like social connections.
When you find those things
that you're grateful for
and it attracts abundance as well.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
So right on.
I like to think of, you know,
our brains as walking a trail.
(18:40):
So if you've never walked a trail before,
There's going to be sticks
and twigs and branches and
spider webs and all sorts
of stuff down the trail.
But the more you walk down that trail,
the clearer the path becomes.
Right.
And our brains are the same way.
So the first time we walk
(19:01):
down the trail of gratitude,
maybe it's not familiar territory to us,
but we keep walking down that trail.
All of a sudden the path is
well worn and our brain says,
I know where to go.
I'll go down this way.
So it's a choice.
And I think that's really important too,
that we choose it and
anybody can do this.
(19:22):
It's freely accessible for everyone,
but you know, biblically speaking,
I've made it a commitment
to myself to reread the
entire Bible front to back.
And what's interesting is
it's right in our faces,
right in the book of Exodus.
When, you know, that journey,
(19:42):
that they from fleeing Egypt
to the land of milk and
honey should have taken eleven days.
But what were the people doing?
Well, one, they were disobedient.
Right.
We know that much.
But also they were complaining a lot.
And I'll have to go back
through the book of Exodus
(20:02):
and just see how many times
it mentions complaining in there,
because complaining is the
opposite of gratitude.
And I can't help but think as I read this,
what if they weren't complaining?
Would they have gotten to
the land of milk and honey,
not in forty years, but in eleven days?
Makes me wonder.
What do you think about that?
(20:23):
I think you're spot on with
that because a lot of times,
and this is what I've
learned in my relationship
with God and in that
transition last year that I went through,
because what happened was
now I'm going full force with Chestnut.
God had already given me the
blueprint kind of not the
full blueprint but an idea
(20:44):
of what coffee milk media
was supposed to be the the
day he gave me chestnut
publishing house is the day
he gave me coffee milk
media but it didn't I
didn't launch it until a
year later right and I
remember just thinking in that time
God, I don't really know what I'm doing,
but you know what?
I'm just going to go for it.
(21:07):
I'm going to go full force.
But what was missing was I
wasn't doing it with him.
So I made plenty of mistakes.
I was not taking care of myself,
as I mentioned before.
But in that time and that
really tough transition
where he was trying to get
me to listen and I wasn't,
and then he said, okay,
you're going to listen.
And I was like, okay, right?
Just a super tough transition.
(21:28):
I started walking in the
morning and having –
conversations with him and
he started to to really
reveal to me the language
that I was using the things
that I was saying and then
he was sending people my
way like I have a friend
who's amazing at this and
that's because she's done
her own work with the
language that she uses and
so I would say well I have
(21:49):
to do this and that and she
would say well or you get
to do that and I'm like oh
Well,
I immediately felt the difference
between get to and have to, right?
Complaining a lot of times
is because we're in our
feelings about something.
And that's an issue that I
had as far as my emotional wellbeing.
(22:10):
As I mentioned,
I wasn't really good at regulating it.
To be honest,
I was raised in a family
where regulated emotions,
like what's that, right?
You feel how you feel.
It's kind of all over the place.
And so that was normal to me.
I didn't think that that was,
impeding on anything,
but it was slowing down my process.
And although I,
although I am super
(22:31):
grateful for the lessons
that I learned in that transition,
even though I feel like I
went through a category five hurricane,
right?
I'm still grateful for the lessons,
but I do see that had I
changed my language, had I known,
first of all,
somebody had to point it out to me, the,
of the language that I was using.
So I make sure that as I'm teaching,
(22:51):
On the wellness side,
I also share those nuggets
about language because what you say,
the words that you say,
whether you speak life or death,
the Bible says it's in the
power of the tongue.
So what you're saying,
if you're complaining, complaining,
I don't like this.
It shows just how ungrateful
we are for the blessings that we do have.
(23:12):
And even if a situation is super tough,
God, I'm still here.
The fact that I'm here means
that I have another
opportunity for things to change.
I have another opportunity to grow.
I have another opportunity to heal.
I have another opportunity
to walk this path that you
have provided for me to
meet up with whoever you
have assigned to me in
(23:32):
order to help me in my business,
in order to help me
in my relationship issues
whatever it is and so
complaining I really do
believe even for me looking
at myself that things in in
the business even we had
prior to when I launched my
businesses had we changed
our language had we not been complaining
(23:53):
It wouldn't have taken
umpteen thousand years, maybe eleven days,
because we create our
reality with what we say.
The Bible says that life and
death is in the power of the tongue.
If we say we believe that,
then we have to believe that, right?
That what we speak is what we will have.
And so...
I always say we were created
(24:15):
by the creator to create.
He created us and he created
us in his image, right?
So he spoke things into existence.
And we have that same power
to do so because he said that.
So if we're complaining...
then whatever we're speaking,
we're really attracting.
We're creating what's happening around us,
(24:36):
right?
But when we come from a place of gratitude,
I thank you for that.
Oh, it's raining today and I wasn't,
you know, I'm late.
This is a big one.
I'm running late to this meeting.
That was big for me.
I don't like to be late.
So if I'm running late to a
meeting because there's
traffic or the weather is
super bad and things are slowing down,
instead of getting frustrated,
(24:56):
I've learned to say,
God, thank you for safety.
Thank you that you're
slowing things down so that
I don't get in an accident.
I don't know what is
happening down the road,
thirty miles down the road,
that I could encounter.
Thank you for slowing things down.
All of those different things instead of,
man, it's taking so long.
So, our language.
(25:17):
what words are we choosing to use?
What attitude do we have about it as well?
Right.
Because you can use the right words,
but what are your
intentions behind those words?
So we should actually be
cautious of that because
that will make the
difference between all
those years and eleven days.
Oh, that's a whole book.
It's a whole book.
(25:38):
Absolutely.
Yes.
I mean,
I really could talk about this forever.
It's such a
point of passion for me.
And again,
it's so important to really
examine our lives and have
an honest view of it and
look at every situation as
(25:59):
how is that mirroring myself?
How is this mirroring myself?
And if you ask that question
in a very honest view,
you'll start to understand
and see the patterns
And if you can manage it and measure it,
or if you can measure it,
you can manage it,
but you have to look at it
(26:19):
and really have that honest
view first so that you can
change the behavior because
it is in our power at all times.
Whether we like to admit it or not, right?
It really is.
We don't like to take
responsibility because it's
taking accountability.
So it's easier to blame everything else,
including God,
(26:40):
for things that's not
moving in the direction that we want to.
But I always encourage others,
because this is something
that I set as a standard for myself,
to look at me first.
So is that a mindset issue?
Is it a heart issue?
Is it a belief issue?
What am I allowing to be?
(27:02):
What am I consuming?
What am I watching?
What am I listening to?
What am I engaging in?
Like those type of things.
Even gossip, being around people,
talk about people all the time.
Like just all of those different things.
And I think what helped me
the most is that season
where I got to take a step
back and slow down.
(27:23):
Because when you're in the midst of things,
you're in it.
Survival mode will do that to you, right?
We mentioned that earlier.
When you're in something,
you can't really think or
hear or feel like you
should because you're
moving on to the next thing.
But when you take rest,
when you take some time to
rest and you step back and
kind of take a look at
things and really go inward for real,
(27:44):
and that's why I love
writing so much because
writing is a great tool for reflection.
It's a great tool for diving deep,
just asking yourself a
question over and over.
If you don't have something,
a journal that has prompts,
Write your own prompts, right?
Ask yourself a question and
then continue to ask
yourself questions so you
can really discover what's
(28:05):
at the heart of the way that you think,
you believe, you speak,
you move in this world.
That's very important.
Yeah,
the accountability piece is very hard.
So it's just easy to just say, well,
they did that to me.
But it's sometimes difficult to be like,
but what did I do?
(28:26):
Or what am I doing?
Or what am I saying that's
attracting these same type
of people in my life?
That's what needs to be fixed.
It's not them.
It's me.
Absolutely.
Otherwise,
it's going to be a record player.
And that record player
keeps spinning around for
perpetuity right we have to
be able to examine that
(28:46):
with an honest lens and
that's why it's so powerful
so I mean this was you know
ten thousand dollars worth
of personal development
right here training because
honestly if you can learn
this and really apply it
the gratitude piece the
abundance mindset the
(29:07):
attraction mindset um
everything that we talked about, success,
scarcity, and the mirror,
and give yourself an honest view,
your life will absolutely
fundamentally change.
And I say this all the time
because it's true.
The hardest I've ever worked
in my life was the year I
(29:27):
made less than thirty thousand dollars.
The least amount I've ever
worked in my life was the
two weeks I made thirty
thousand dollars in two
weeks or fourteen days, whatever it was.
There is something to this.
One is operating through scarcity business,
glorifying business, glorifying anxiety,
(29:49):
glorifying lack.
Then there's the space where
you are in your natural
flow state and things and
opportunities are attracted to you.
And this is why it's so
important because again,
if we can learn this and
apply it in our lives,
There is absolutely nowhere
(30:10):
where we can't go.
You become an unstoppable
force in business.
And one thing that I've
learned about entrepreneurship, Kay,
is that it is the ultimate
personal development.
Oh, yes.
Ultimate personal development machine.
If you go through entrepreneurship,
I don't know what you can't do.
(30:31):
Oh, my gosh.
Listen, I tell people when they say,
I want to start a business,
make sure that you are ready to see you.
yes that's right I love that
quote if you are not ready
yeah to see you know
because naturally when
we're getting ready to
start a business we're
thinking about all the
strengths and gifts and
(30:52):
talents that we have right
so we want to take our
gifts and talents and our
passions and we want to use
that and channel that into
something that we get to
create for ourselves yes
for other people but if
we're honest about it it's
for us right we want this
freedom in time we want this
You know,
the ability to to not put a cap
on how much money we make,
like all of those different things.
(31:13):
But entrepreneurship is a mirror.
So you're going to see your
strengths and you will see
your gifts and your talents,
but you will also see your
weaknesses and you will see
those areas where you need
to do real work.
And the reason why I reset
with K is just so important
(31:35):
to me with the holistic
success piece is because
what I speak about first in
the book that I'm writing
is as be well to do well.
And that's if for entrepreneurs,
because if you're not
willing to go inside and
work on those things inside,
then it will show up the
(31:55):
way that you are internally,
externally in your business.
If you have an issue with
your personal finances,
with being a good steward
over your personal finances,
with understanding the
spiritual relationship with money,
with actually respecting
money in the way that it
should be in your personal finances,
If you have an issue with that,
(32:16):
that's going to show up in your business.
And I know that because it
showed up in mine.
Because I did not have a
full understanding about
finances because of how I was raised.
My grandfather was amazing with money.
Like he did that with a
sixth grade education in rural Louisiana.
He knew where every dollar went.
(32:37):
He saved his money.
He invested his money.
He was really good with that.
But he didn't teach his children.
So my mom didn't teach me.
So I didn't know.
Right.
So I had to make I made a
lot of mistakes financially.
In the in the personal side,
on the personal side of things.
And that showed up in my business,
lowering my cost.
Right.
(32:57):
Saying to people, oh,
that's all you can afford.
OK, but that's not how you run a business.
So I had to I had to really
learn the hard way.
So entrepreneurship,
if you're not ready to
actually see yourself.
Mm hmm.
I tell people, hey, or start it,
but make sure you have a nine to five,
(33:18):
like something stable,
because you could have ten
thousand dollars one day
and down to three dollars
and fifty seven cents in
your account in like two days.
And not because you.
Yes,
because if you're not responsible money,
yes, that.
But also in order to grow your business,
you have to make investments.
(33:38):
So money is constantly going in.
and out right so that things
can improve so yeah
entrepreneurship will show
you where you are unhealed
it will show you if you
have a communication
problem it will show like
it will expose you to you
and if you don't take the
time to really work on
those things it will show
(33:58):
you to other people
So it's cute, I like to say,
to start a business and to
say that you're a business owner.
That sounds amazing to put
it on social media and all those things,
but it is hard work.
And personal development is
professional development.
Professional development is
(34:18):
also personal development.
They go hand in hand and
that's the holistic part of it.
I love that.
So true.
All the money, the wealth,
All of it belongs to God and
to the best managers of it.
I love that.
Yeah,
because you have to be a good steward.
You have to be a good steward.
Absolutely.
(34:39):
He doesn't want it wasted.
He wants it going in the right places.
So, again, keep these things in mind.
These are all this is ten
thousand dollars worth of
personal development and
financial advice right here.
Well, Kay,
what are the best places online
to find you and learn more about you?
Yeah.
So the best place to find me
(35:00):
right now is really on LinkedIn.
That's where I'm sharing all
things Coffee Milk Media
and all things Reset with K
and also giving updates about TEDx.
But that's where that's my main place.
Now, I love Instagram and I'm there.
And most if you need like encouragement,
if you need what I call founder resets,
because I have a cohort
(35:20):
that's coming up soon.
And it really speaks to the
well-being piece of being a
founder and a leader.
And how that shows up in your business,
as we just talked about.
Instagram is the place to
find that because I am a photo fanatic,
always taking pictures of
something outside.
I love just nature altogether.
And I tie that into, you know,
(35:42):
insights and inspiration
for entrepreneurs and
founders and leaders.
And so those two places is
where you can find me.
Well, thank you so much, Kay,
for being a fantastic guest.
And thank you for everyone
who tuned in to this
episode of Grasp Confidence Podcast.
Guys, don't forget to like, share,
subscribe,
and leave a review on your
(36:02):
favorite platform so that
more listeners see the
value of tuning in.
We will catch you on the next episode.
Take care.
What if true success didn't
come from doing more,
but from aligning more
deeply with who you are?
Meet Kay LaFleur Anders,
creative wellness coach, storyteller,
and founder of Coffee Milk Media,
known for her powerful
presence and gift for
translating complex ideas
(00:24):
into actionable insight.
Kay helps leaders and
organizations prioritize
well-being as the starting
point for sustainable impact.
Through her signature retreats, workshops,
and podcast, Reset with Kay,
she equips founders, teams,
(00:45):
and change makers to lead with clarity,
communicate with intention,
and live in harmony with
purpose and peace.
Her mission?
To spark a cultural shift
where success and self-care
go hand in hand.
Tune in as Kay shares her journey,
her faith-fueled wisdom,
and her bold vision
(01:06):
for reshaping how we lead,
create and thrive.
This episode will ignite something in you.
Absolutely.
Kay, welcome to the show.
Thank you so much for having me.
Absolutely.
This is a fun adventure.
We met on LinkedIn,
headed off immediately.
I learned about you.
(01:27):
You learned about me.
We met a couple times and
now here we are in podcast world.
Yes, that's a beautiful thing.
I love the way that that
happens organically.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
Well, tell us, you know,
a little bit about who you are,
what you're doing right now,
because you are a woman who, like myself,
wears many hats.
(01:47):
I can barely keep up with you.
But what do you have going
on in your life right now that's exciting,
Kay?
You know,
it's funny because I can hardly
keep up with myself too.
I'm like, what am I doing today?
It's a very difficult
question sometimes when people say,
what do you do?
And I'm like, today?
But yes, I am Kayla Fleur Anders.
(02:08):
I always like to say the K
stands for Keosha because
sometimes people think K-A-Y.
I am originally from Louisiana.
I've been living in the Austin, Texas area,
specifically Round Rock for
the past eighteen years.
And I love it here.
I'm a community embracer wherever I go.
I'm all about like,
what can we do in the community?
And because of that,
(02:30):
we have and I say we
because I have an amazing team,
which I'm super grateful for.
We are planning a TEDx event
here and it's TEDx Round Rock Women.
So that is taking up a lot of my
time and energy, but I'm not complaining.
I'm super grateful for it.
And then also on the other side of things,
there's Coffee Milk Media
(02:50):
and we are working behind
the scenes in the ideation
process for some documentaries.
having conversations about
apps and animations,
kind of in the ideation
stage of everything right now,
because what we're focused
on at the moment is workshops,
storytelling workshops,
both for leaders and their organizations,
their teams, and some consulting.
(03:13):
And then the other side of that,
I am a wellness coach,
which I try to switch it up
a little bit and not say
coach as much as I am a consultant.
And in that
That I think is, that's one of the,
that's my favorite thing to
do if I'm super honest,
because I get to curate and
create spaces where women
(03:36):
leaders for the most part
and founders are coming in
for an opportunity to breathe.
Like they need a break and
they need to focus on themselves.
And we get to use things
like rest as a strategy,
clarity as a strategy, peace.
as a strategy.
So it's very well being
focused because I believe
in holistic success and
that we're not just, you know,
(03:57):
which we shouldn't be
chasing money anyway.
There are things that we
should be pursuing like
peace and the money will come.
But holistic success really looks at
everything as a whole and
it's not just about the
financial piece it's also
your social well-being your
emotional well-being for
totality like a wholeness
of success and so that's my
(04:19):
favorite thing to do
because I work with a lot
of organizations that are
in the healing space and
it's just it's beautiful
work it can sometimes get
heavy but it's super
beautiful I love that
You know, it's interesting.
I always wondered why this happened,
but I would meet with folks and, you know,
I would think they were
going to talk to me about
(04:39):
branding or confidence or
personal development or
something like that.
And they ended up asking me
questions about money and success.
And I think this is really important.
You hit on something that
it's really hard to
get people to understand who
are chasing money,
(04:59):
who are chasing success.
When you have internal peace,
success is a byproduct of that.
And I like to tell this to
people because if you're in
a state of anxiety,
so let's say you're in survival mode,
(05:20):
you're thinking about how
can I get money?
How can I make money?
How can I
get these things into my life,
you're operating from a
place of lack and a place of uncertainty,
a place of unsustainability.
Money is not attracted to that.
You're not at the same vibration as money.
(05:43):
You're not going to be
aligned with money because
you're in a survival state.
So when you're in a state of peace,
when you're in a state of security,
the money flows naturally
because that's the
vibrational state of money.
It's a state of already having it.
It's abundance, right?
Oh, my gosh.
(06:03):
It's so hard for me to
convince people of this
because we live in this culture of hustle,
hustle, grind, grind, grind.
And people don't understand it.
What do you think about that?
I think you hit the nail on the head.
It's so true.
And I lived it.
I lived it.
So I know it's true.
You know, Chestnut had already started.
(06:24):
I started that while I was
working at Dell Technologies.
So I wasn't pushing the
publishing house anymore.
Because financially, I didn't have to,
honestly.
And we had other things going on.
My husband had his own business,
a sports performance business.
So I didn't want to push
Chestnut too much.
It was fun for me at first,
until I was laid off.
(06:45):
And I was part of this round
of workforce reductions.
And immediately,
Even with a severance,
immediately I went into
survival mode because I was afraid.
And I'm thinking, oh my God,
I'm not getting this check
every two weeks anymore.
I have to hit the ground
running with this publishing thing.
I got to go with it.
And what I started doing,
because when you're in survival mode,
(07:06):
and I want to make sure I
stay on topic with finances
not being as far as attraction,
because you're so right with that.
When you're in survival mode,
you're not thinking anything.
You know,
there's no like there's no
slowdown because right now
is all you're thinking about.
There's no sustainability thoughts.
There's nothing about long term.
(07:28):
There's nothing about the
decisions that I make right now.
What does that look like in a year?
Because that's a real thing, right?
The decisions we make right now,
we'll see the effects of that next year.
There's none of that.
You just keep going, keep moving,
keep going.
And for me,
it wasn't that I wasn't making money.
I was,
but I was lowering my standards as
far as the fact,
like what I was charging
(07:50):
because I was just so desperate.
Survival mode puts you in a
state of desperation.
And when you're in a state of desperation,
you start to attract those
types of people and clients, right?
You start to attract these
different things because
you're not thinking with an
abundant mindset.
It's really with a lack mindset, right?
(08:10):
And it was, it showed up later.
At first I was like, oh, this is going,
it's going.
And then I'm burning myself out, right?
I'm burning myself out
because all I wanna do is survive.
Just wanna survive.
Which in hindsight,
if I could take it on back,
and really think about it
(08:31):
instead of going into survival mode,
which I do understand why I did.
That's a childhood thing,
that whole not wanting to
live like this type of thing.
But had I taken my time and
looked at the severance that I had,
I'm like, I have a severance package.
I really can invest this.
(08:52):
I can take a little bit more time,
build the foundation of my business.
And then move forward.
This is a great opportunity for me to rest,
maybe for like a month or so,
so I can get some planning done.
But survival mode will have
you just moving and then
you start to attract how you're moving.
And so you're so right about that.
(09:13):
The abundance that we seek,
even in business, to to be.
Quite honest for me,
I feel like I would have
had a better financial, I guess,
boost at the beginning of
my business had I really
taken the time to work on myself.
Had I really taken the time to rest,
(09:33):
to take a look at the emotional,
my emotional well-being
that had been damaged in
different situations?
I was grieving my dog last year.
I didn't take I didn't
really take like I didn't
stop to take care of that.
Like it was a number of different things.
But you're right,
because when I slowed down
October through the top of January,
I made it a point to say, OK, God,
(09:53):
I'm going to.
This is me and you.
We need to we need to have
some conversations.
I get it.
Like you've been trying to
sit me down and you sat me
down and now I'm listening.
Right.
And so that time that I sat
down and I slowed down,
that's when I really got
the revelation of, OK,
but you really need to look
at take a look at yourself
(10:14):
because you've been
attracting these things.
So do this with me this time
and let me show you what
abundance really looks like.
And so that's why I focus on
holistic success because if
you have healthy
relationships in your life,
you're successful.
That's success.
(10:35):
If you know how to generate, I mean,
I'm sorry, regulate your emotions,
that's success.
your emotional IQ is raising
because you're learning.
That's success, right?
It's not just finances.
When you work on the internal piece,
those things are attracted to you.
That's what you're putting
out and it's attracted to you.
(10:55):
So I love that you said that
because I one hundred
percent believe that
anytime somebody leads off with money,
I'm always listening for something else.
And it's like,
then they'll start talking about,
but my relationships are breakdown.
That's
OK,
so let's focus on that because you're
probably projecting things on people.
That's probably why you're
not getting these clients.
You have to check your attitude.
That has nothing to do with
(11:15):
like it's a whole thing.
And that's why I love
speaking about holistic success.
I love that.
And, you know, in my first TEDx talk,
I mentioned that gratitude
is the foundation of
confidence and confidence
is the foundation for success.
Right.
So really,
gratitude is the foundation for
all success in life.
(11:36):
And why is this?
Well, if we think about gratitude,
that's a position of
already in possession of, isn't it?
Right?
So if we're a grateful person,
that means that I'm already
in possession of things.
If I'm operating in a state
of lack of gratitude,
(11:57):
it means I'm wanting things.
And if you're wanting of anything,
you're projecting lack.
Oh, that's good.
You are projecting like and
you will attract like and
you keep you're going to
keep attracting the people
who are also in that same state.
(12:19):
So this is such an important
thing because I really want
people to understand this.
When I talk about gratitude,
it's not a feel good emotion.
It's not a fluffy term.
This is a real life changing
thing because it does rewire your brain,
right?
But it's about rewiring your
brain for success.
Okay.
(12:39):
How many times have we seen
somebody win the lottery or
a professional NFL player, sports player,
somebody like that,
or celebrity come into a
big windfall of money and lose it all.
And then some actually most
lottery winners.
end up in a greater
(13:00):
financial deficit than
before they won the lottery.
How is that possible?
So many people wonder how is
this even possible?
It's because they didn't
have the sustainability
that when that windfall of
money came into their lives,
they couldn't hold it.
The thing about gratitude is
(13:21):
it helps build the vessel,
the container for you to be able to
hold it oh I love that it's
so powerful I could really
talk about this for days
and I've been there you
know I mean I was I'm the
youngest of five children
(13:43):
we grew up in poverty a lot
of times it was even below
the poverty line I know
what it's like to be in a
situation of lack and
But just because you were
once in a situation of lack
does not mean that is your
entire story for the rest of your life.
Right?
Exactly.
Because it was the same
(14:04):
thing in my household.
Like my mom was a single mom.
She was a young mom.
She had me.
I'm the oldest.
Years later, she got married to my stepdad,
had my two sisters,
and they were married for
about eight years,
and then he passed away.
So now she's back as a
single mom of now three, right?
(14:24):
And my grandparents were
amazing in helping my mom,
always had been amazing.
But when my grandfather passed away,
she basically had to figure it out.
And so I remember what that looks like,
what that felt like,
what that looked like,
what that felt like.
Her not having gas in her
(14:45):
car to bring me to school activities,
an organization going
around giving food away to
people and knocking on the
door and delivering gifts
one year because she didn't
have the money to buy presents.
I remember that.
And so immediately for me,
when I was laid off of my job,
I'm thinking I don't like
(15:06):
fear kicked in and it's
like I don't want to I
don't want to um I don't
want my children to know
what that feels like I
don't want like that that
whole thing just being
really afraid but it's
funny that you brought up
gratitude I just
co-facilitated a cohort
last night it was a session
And that's what it was on.
Gratitude and speaking words of life,
(15:27):
right?
And how that totally shifts
your perspective about what
you're going through,
what you've been through,
like all the things.
And I remember going for a
walk with a friend at the
time and I didn't even pick
up on the fact that,
and I told this story last night,
which is why I brought it up.
I remember going on a walk
with this friend at the time and I was,
(15:51):
I didn't think I was
complaining because I had
been so used to just
expressing how I feel, right?
And so we're going on a walk
and we're on this hike and I'm like,
I feel like this and this
and I'm afraid of this and this.
And she said, can I tell you something?
I'm like, of course.
She's like,
you need to have more gratitude.
It is a game changer.
(16:13):
when you find those things
to be grateful for.
Because in every situation,
there's something to be grateful for.
And she said, I want you to try it.
And so I went home that day
because I was like, oh my God,
I've been over here like complaining.
Like I didn't even really
think about that because I
was just so used to speaking that way.
(16:34):
And I went home and I did what she said.
She said, it sounds so simple,
but it's so profound.
Write down ten things that
you're grateful for.
Ten things right off the bat.
She's like, tomorrow,
write down ten things that
you're grateful for.
Ten different things that
you're grateful for.
And just keep it going and
see how many things that
(16:54):
you... And every day I made
it a point to write down
ten different things that I
was grateful for each day.
And it was a game changer
for me because now...
both in business and in my
personal life when I'm
speaking to people about
things and it could be
heavy it could be a
heartbreak it could be a
loss of a job it doesn't
(17:15):
really matter what it is my
brain immediately clicks to
Not necessarily.
Yeah,
but because it's not discounting the
realness of what's actually happening.
Right.
But what's the lesson?
I remember Charles Stanley.
I was listening to him years ago.
I was in my early twenties and he said,
(17:36):
and I love this and I just stuck with me.
He said,
even when things get super tough
in your life, take a step back and say,
God,
what are you trying to teach me in
this moment?
Right.
And so I remembered that as
I was going through this
exercise of gratitude,
because even when things
weren't perfect in that day, I'm like,
(17:59):
okay, but what can I learn from that?
Right.
And so that's what I was grateful for.
I learned through those exercises.
What I realized is I was
super grateful for the lessons.
And so I would find a lesson
in everything.
I'm constantly finding a
lesson in things because I
actually want to grow.
So gratitude is,
also is like,
it's like a fertilizer in a
(18:20):
way to help you grow.
It helps in healing.
It helps in relationship,
like social connections.
When you find those things
that you're grateful for
and it attracts abundance as well.
Absolutely.
Absolutely.
So right on.
I like to think of, you know,
our brains as walking a trail.
(18:40):
So if you've never walked a trail before,
There's going to be sticks
and twigs and branches and
spider webs and all sorts
of stuff down the trail.
But the more you walk down that trail,
the clearer the path becomes.
Right.
And our brains are the same way.
So the first time we walk
(19:01):
down the trail of gratitude,
maybe it's not familiar territory to us,
but we keep walking down that trail.
All of a sudden the path is
well worn and our brain says,
I know where to go.
I'll go down this way.
So it's a choice.
And I think that's really important too,
that we choose it and
anybody can do this.
(19:22):
It's freely accessible for everyone,
but you know, biblically speaking,
I've made it a commitment
to myself to reread the
entire Bible front to back.
And what's interesting is
it's right in our faces,
right in the book of Exodus.
When, you know, that journey,
(19:42):
that they from fleeing Egypt
to the land of milk and
honey should have taken eleven days.
But what were the people doing?
Well, one, they were disobedient.
Right.
We know that much.
But also they were complaining a lot.
And I'll have to go back
through the book of Exodus
(20:02):
and just see how many times
it mentions complaining in there,
because complaining is the
opposite of gratitude.
And I can't help but think as I read this,
what if they weren't complaining?
Would they have gotten to
the land of milk and honey,
not in forty years, but in eleven days?
Makes me wonder.
What do you think about that?
(20:23):
I think you're spot on with
that because a lot of times,
and this is what I've
learned in my relationship
with God and in that
transition last year that I went through,
because what happened was
now I'm going full force with Chestnut.
God had already given me the
blueprint kind of not the
full blueprint but an idea
(20:44):
of what coffee milk media
was supposed to be the the
day he gave me chestnut
publishing house is the day
he gave me coffee milk
media but it didn't I
didn't launch it until a
year later right and I
remember just thinking in that time
God, I don't really know what I'm doing,
but you know what?
I'm just going to go for it.
(21:07):
I'm going to go full force.
But what was missing was I
wasn't doing it with him.
So I made plenty of mistakes.
I was not taking care of myself,
as I mentioned before.
But in that time and that
really tough transition
where he was trying to get
me to listen and I wasn't,
and then he said, okay,
you're going to listen.
And I was like, okay, right?
Just a super tough transition.
(21:28):
I started walking in the
morning and having –
conversations with him and
he started to to really
reveal to me the language
that I was using the things
that I was saying and then
he was sending people my
way like I have a friend
who's amazing at this and
that's because she's done
her own work with the
language that she uses and
so I would say well I have
(21:49):
to do this and that and she
would say well or you get
to do that and I'm like oh
Well,
I immediately felt the difference
between get to and have to, right?
Complaining a lot of times
is because we're in our
feelings about something.
And that's an issue that I
had as far as my emotional wellbeing.
(22:10):
As I mentioned,
I wasn't really good at regulating it.
To be honest,
I was raised in a family
where regulated emotions,
like what's that, right?
You feel how you feel.
It's kind of all over the place.
And so that was normal to me.
I didn't think that that was,
impeding on anything,
but it was slowing down my process.
And although I,
although I am super
(22:31):
grateful for the lessons
that I learned in that transition,
even though I feel like I
went through a category five hurricane,
right?
I'm still grateful for the lessons,
but I do see that had I
changed my language, had I known,
first of all,
somebody had to point it out to me, the,
of the language that I was using.
So I make sure that as I'm teaching,
(22:51):
On the wellness side,
I also share those nuggets
about language because what you say,
the words that you say,
whether you speak life or death,
the Bible says it's in the
power of the tongue.
So what you're saying,
if you're complaining, complaining,
I don't like this.
It shows just how ungrateful
we are for the blessings that we do have.
(23:12):
And even if a situation is super tough,
God, I'm still here.
The fact that I'm here means
that I have another
opportunity for things to change.
I have another opportunity to grow.
I have another opportunity to heal.
I have another opportunity
to walk this path that you
have provided for me to
meet up with whoever you
have assigned to me in
(23:32):
order to help me in my business,
in order to help me
in my relationship issues
whatever it is and so
complaining I really do
believe even for me looking
at myself that things in in
the business even we had
prior to when I launched my
businesses had we changed
our language had we not been complaining
(23:53):
It wouldn't have taken
umpteen thousand years, maybe eleven days,
because we create our
reality with what we say.
The Bible says that life and
death is in the power of the tongue.
If we say we believe that,
then we have to believe that, right?
That what we speak is what we will have.
And so...
I always say we were created
(24:15):
by the creator to create.
He created us and he created
us in his image, right?
So he spoke things into existence.
And we have that same power
to do so because he said that.
So if we're complaining...
then whatever we're speaking,
we're really attracting.
We're creating what's happening around us,
(24:36):
right?
But when we come from a place of gratitude,
I thank you for that.
Oh, it's raining today and I wasn't,
you know, I'm late.
This is a big one.
I'm running late to this meeting.
That was big for me.
I don't like to be late.
So if I'm running late to a
meeting because there's
traffic or the weather is
super bad and things are slowing down,
instead of getting frustrated,
(24:56):
I've learned to say,
God, thank you for safety.
Thank you that you're
slowing things down so that
I don't get in an accident.
I don't know what is
happening down the road,
thirty miles down the road,
that I could encounter.
Thank you for slowing things down.
All of those different things instead of,
man, it's taking so long.
So, our language.
(25:17):
what words are we choosing to use?
What attitude do we have about it as well?
Right.
Because you can use the right words,
but what are your
intentions behind those words?
So we should actually be
cautious of that because
that will make the
difference between all
those years and eleven days.
Oh, that's a whole book.
It's a whole book.
(25:38):
Absolutely.
Yes.
I mean,
I really could talk about this forever.
It's such a
point of passion for me.
And again,
it's so important to really
examine our lives and have
an honest view of it and
look at every situation as
(25:59):
how is that mirroring myself?
How is this mirroring myself?
And if you ask that question
in a very honest view,
you'll start to understand
and see the patterns
And if you can manage it and measure it,
or if you can measure it,
you can manage it,
but you have to look at it
(26:19):
and really have that honest
view first so that you can
change the behavior because
it is in our power at all times.
Whether we like to admit it or not, right?
It really is.
We don't like to take
responsibility because it's
taking accountability.
So it's easier to blame everything else,
including God,
(26:40):
for things that's not
moving in the direction that we want to.
But I always encourage others,
because this is something
that I set as a standard for myself,
to look at me first.
So is that a mindset issue?
Is it a heart issue?
Is it a belief issue?
What am I allowing to be?
(27:02):
What am I consuming?
What am I watching?
What am I listening to?
What am I engaging in?
Like those type of things.
Even gossip, being around people,
talk about people all the time.
Like just all of those different things.
And I think what helped me
the most is that season
where I got to take a step
back and slow down.
(27:23):
Because when you're in the midst of things,
you're in it.
Survival mode will do that to you, right?
We mentioned that earlier.
When you're in something,
you can't really think or
hear or feel like you
should because you're
moving on to the next thing.
But when you take rest,
when you take some time to
rest and you step back and
kind of take a look at
things and really go inward for real,
(27:44):
and that's why I love
writing so much because
writing is a great tool for reflection.
It's a great tool for diving deep,
just asking yourself a
question over and over.
If you don't have something,
a journal that has prompts,
Write your own prompts, right?
Ask yourself a question and
then continue to ask
yourself questions so you
can really discover what's
(28:05):
at the heart of the way that you think,
you believe, you speak,
you move in this world.
That's very important.
Yeah,
the accountability piece is very hard.
So it's just easy to just say, well,
they did that to me.
But it's sometimes difficult to be like,
but what did I do?
(28:26):
Or what am I doing?
Or what am I saying that's
attracting these same type
of people in my life?
That's what needs to be fixed.
It's not them.
It's me.
Absolutely.
Otherwise,
it's going to be a record player.
And that record player
keeps spinning around for
perpetuity right we have to
be able to examine that
(28:46):
with an honest lens and
that's why it's so powerful
so I mean this was you know
ten thousand dollars worth
of personal development
right here training because
honestly if you can learn
this and really apply it
the gratitude piece the
abundance mindset the
(29:07):
attraction mindset um
everything that we talked about, success,
scarcity, and the mirror,
and give yourself an honest view,
your life will absolutely
fundamentally change.
And I say this all the time
because it's true.
The hardest I've ever worked
in my life was the year I
(29:27):
made less than thirty thousand dollars.
The least amount I've ever
worked in my life was the
two weeks I made thirty
thousand dollars in two
weeks or fourteen days, whatever it was.
There is something to this.
One is operating through scarcity business,
glorifying business, glorifying anxiety,
(29:49):
glorifying lack.
Then there's the space where
you are in your natural
flow state and things and
opportunities are attracted to you.
And this is why it's so
important because again,
if we can learn this and
apply it in our lives,
There is absolutely nowhere
(30:10):
where we can't go.
You become an unstoppable
force in business.
And one thing that I've
learned about entrepreneurship, Kay,
is that it is the ultimate
personal development.
Oh, yes.
Ultimate personal development machine.
If you go through entrepreneurship,
I don't know what you can't do.
(30:31):
Oh, my gosh.
Listen, I tell people when they say,
I want to start a business,
make sure that you are ready to see you.
yes that's right I love that
quote if you are not ready
yeah to see you know
because naturally when
we're getting ready to
start a business we're
thinking about all the
strengths and gifts and
(30:52):
talents that we have right
so we want to take our
gifts and talents and our
passions and we want to use
that and channel that into
something that we get to
create for ourselves yes
for other people but if
we're honest about it it's
for us right we want this
freedom in time we want this
You know,
the ability to to not put a cap
on how much money we make,
like all of those different things.
(31:13):
But entrepreneurship is a mirror.
So you're going to see your
strengths and you will see
your gifts and your talents,
but you will also see your
weaknesses and you will see
those areas where you need
to do real work.
And the reason why I reset
with K is just so important
(31:35):
to me with the holistic
success piece is because
what I speak about first in
the book that I'm writing
is as be well to do well.
And that's if for entrepreneurs,
because if you're not
willing to go inside and
work on those things inside,
then it will show up the
(31:55):
way that you are internally,
externally in your business.
If you have an issue with
your personal finances,
with being a good steward
over your personal finances,
with understanding the
spiritual relationship with money,
with actually respecting
money in the way that it
should be in your personal finances,
If you have an issue with that,
(32:16):
that's going to show up in your business.
And I know that because it
showed up in mine.
Because I did not have a
full understanding about
finances because of how I was raised.
My grandfather was amazing with money.
Like he did that with a
sixth grade education in rural Louisiana.
He knew where every dollar went.
(32:37):
He saved his money.
He invested his money.
He was really good with that.
But he didn't teach his children.
So my mom didn't teach me.
So I didn't know.
Right.
So I had to make I made a
lot of mistakes financially.
In the in the personal side,
on the personal side of things.
And that showed up in my business,
lowering my cost.
Right.
(32:57):
Saying to people, oh,
that's all you can afford.
OK, but that's not how you run a business.
So I had to I had to really
learn the hard way.
So entrepreneurship,
if you're not ready to
actually see yourself.
Mm hmm.
I tell people, hey, or start it,
but make sure you have a nine to five,
(33:18):
like something stable,
because you could have ten
thousand dollars one day
and down to three dollars
and fifty seven cents in
your account in like two days.
And not because you.
Yes,
because if you're not responsible money,
yes, that.
But also in order to grow your business,
you have to make investments.
(33:38):
So money is constantly going in.
and out right so that things
can improve so yeah
entrepreneurship will show
you where you are unhealed
it will show you if you
have a communication
problem it will show like
it will expose you to you
and if you don't take the
time to really work on
those things it will show
(33:58):
you to other people
So it's cute, I like to say,
to start a business and to
say that you're a business owner.
That sounds amazing to put
it on social media and all those things,
but it is hard work.
And personal development is
professional development.
Professional development is
(34:18):
also personal development.
They go hand in hand and
that's the holistic part of it.
I love that.
So true.
All the money, the wealth,
All of it belongs to God and
to the best managers of it.
I love that.
Yeah,
because you have to be a good steward.
You have to be a good steward.
Absolutely.
(34:39):
He doesn't want it wasted.
He wants it going in the right places.
So, again, keep these things in mind.
These are all this is ten
thousand dollars worth of
personal development and
financial advice right here.
Well, Kay,
what are the best places online
to find you and learn more about you?
Yeah.
So the best place to find me
(35:00):
right now is really on LinkedIn.
That's where I'm sharing all
things Coffee Milk Media
and all things Reset with K
and also giving updates about TEDx.
But that's where that's my main place.
Now, I love Instagram and I'm there.
And most if you need like encouragement,
if you need what I call founder resets,
because I have a cohort
(35:20):
that's coming up soon.
And it really speaks to the
well-being piece of being a
founder and a leader.
And how that shows up in your business,
as we just talked about.
Instagram is the place to
find that because I am a photo fanatic,
always taking pictures of
something outside.
I love just nature altogether.
And I tie that into, you know,
(35:42):
insights and inspiration
for entrepreneurs and
founders and leaders.
And so those two places is
where you can find me.
Well, thank you so much, Kay,
for being a fantastic guest.
And thank you for everyone
who tuned in to this
episode of Grasp Confidence Podcast.
Guys, don't forget to like, share,
subscribe,
and leave a review on your
(36:02):
favorite platform so that
more listeners see the
value of tuning in.
We will catch you on the next episode.
Take care.
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