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June 22, 2025 43 mins

Have you ever felt like you're doing everything right but still feel stuck, unseen, or like God has gone quiet?


You're leading the business, following the plan, showing up strong... yet deep down, you're battling doubt, exhaustion, and a quiet ache for something more aligned, more fulfilling, and more divinely led.

You're not alone and you’re not off track.

In this deeply honest and empowering episode of GRASP Confidence, Tara LaFon Gooch sits down with Melissa D. Whitaker—a powerhouse entrepreneur, international keynote speaker, best-selling author, and faith-fueled leader in sales, culture, and transformation.

With over 30 years of success helping leaders build high-performing teams and purpose-driven businesses, Melissa gets candid about what most people won’t say:
Even the most confident leaders face moments of fear, silence, and spiritual testing.

Melissa shares her powerful revelation:
“When the student is taking a test, the Teacher is silent.”
—meaning that God isn’t absent in your hard seasons—He’s watching, waiting, and refining you.

From boardrooms to spiritual breakthroughs, she reveals how your mindset can either magnify fear or unlock a faith-filled future.


If you’ve ever asked:

  • “Where is God in this?”

  • “Why am I facing this setback again?”

  • “How do I stay confident when everything feels uncertain?”

This episode will guide you through the real, raw side of leadership and how to reconnect with your identity in Christ while showing up powerfully in the world.

 

You’ll learn:

✅ How to navigate seasons of silence and testing without losing confidence
✅ The mindset shifts that help you rise after setbacks and rejection
✅ How to align your business with God’s vision—not just your goals
✅ The secret to sustainable success that goes beyond revenue
✅ Why adversity is often the confirmation—not the cancellation—of your calling

Melissa also shares how she integrates faith with practical leadership tools—from mindset coaching and wellness to sales strategies and DiSC assessments—offering a holistic approach for lasting growth.

Whether you’re a CEO, speaker, author, or emerging faith-driven founder, this conversation will reignite your trust in the process and remind you:
Confidence isn’t built in ease, it’s revealed in refinement.

 


👉 Connect with Melissa and explore her work:
🔗 LinkedIn: Melissa D. Whitaker
🌐 Website: melissawhitakerintl.com

🎧 Tune in now and share this episode with a fellow leader who’s in the middle of their own refining season. This message could be the confirmation they’ve been praying for.

 

🌴 Ready to take this work deeper?
Tara’s upcoming Christian women’s retreat in Cabo (January 2026) is a luxury, spirit-led experience designed to help you realign, recharge, and step b

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Transcript

Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
joined by one author who has
a new book to help guide
you with these steps to
grasp your confidence and own your power.
I love that.
Look around the room.
You'll see that you're not
so alone after all and that
unconfidence could look like any of us.

(00:21):
and maybe your whole life,
you have been told that the best wins,
but I'm telling you right
now that the best known will win.
Hey everyone,
thank you so much for tuning

(00:42):
in to another episode of
Grasp Confidence Podcast.
You know me, I'm your host,
Tara LaFond-Gooch,
and I have a special guest with us today.
But first,
I want to tell you something
exciting that I have been working on.
It is a Christian Women's
Leadership Retreat,
and it's happening in Cabo St.
Lucas in January of

(01:05):
all-inclusive luxury,
plus connection to community,
like-minded people, and our creator.
It's the best thing in the world.
Plus I'm giving everybody
some visibility and
branding awareness chances
to increase their impact
and income in this world.
Now let's get into our guest today.

(01:26):
Since most of our audience
are high-performing leaders
and peak performers, this is for you.
What if peak performance
wasn't just about strategy,
but about identity?
Think about that and let that sink in.
Meet Melissa D. Whitaker.

(01:48):
CEO, international keynote speaker,
best-selling author,
and leading authority in sales,
leadership, culture, and wellness.
With over thirty years of experience,
Melissa has trained
thousands of professionals
and helped companies unlock
higher revenue, stronger team synergy,
and purpose-driven leadership.

(02:11):
She's also co-authored
bestsellers alongside
legends like Brian Tracy.
In this episode,
Melissa and I will dive
into things like mindset, gratitude,
and key performance in
leadership to unlock the
true keys of sustainable
success in business and how

(02:32):
confidence is the catalyst
that transforms it all.
Melissa, welcome to the show, my friend.
Thank you.
Thank you.
It's wonderful to be here.
Yes.
It's not every day that I
interview somebody with
your resume and just business acumen.
I can't wait to dive into

(02:53):
this because I want this to
be a masterclass in not just strategy,
right?
Because I think when a lot
of businesses think they
need is another bell, another whistle,
another system.
But what I have found in my
work with business leaders
and entrepreneurs is they
lack sometimes those

(03:14):
foundational elements to
really have sustainable success.
What do you think about that?
Absolutely.
Well, it's interesting because, you know,
as you mentioned,
I can't tell you how many
leaders I've spoken to who said, oh,
I've been through this
program and this program
and this program.
And I'll ask them, well,
why are why are we speaking?

(03:35):
You know,
if you have been through many
different programs, you know,
what are you missing?
Do you feel what do you
think that you are looking for for that,
you know,
secret sauce or that silver bullet?
And, you know, it's interesting because.
as we start to dive a little
deeper into their situation,
I find what's really

(03:56):
missing half the time is number one,
not enough people are
talking about mindset and
not enough people are
talking about those core
growth opportunities.
Yes, there's strategy,
but if you don't start here
and start to up level your
mind and the possibilities
of abundance or what could
be possible in their life

(04:17):
or their business,
then it doesn't always hold.
Absolutely.
I went through this the hard
way because I think that's
how a lot of us learn, right?
It's unfortunate,
but it took me a long time.
And I really, you know,
the thing about
entrepreneurship that I've realized,
it's a mirror.

(04:38):
It shows you the good, the bad, the ugly,
and it kind of is the
ultimate personal development machine,
right?
Yes.
And if you don't have your mindset right,
You're going to take such a
longer time to achieve your goals.
And I find this especially

(04:59):
true with women that I work
with is they undervalue
themselves so much under price,
all of these things,
and then wonder why they're
stuck in this cycle of
missed opportunities,
low income and low potential.
What do you think?
Yes, I think, you know,
I love that you talk about confidence,

(05:19):
frankly,
because regardless of what
position we have,
I find that women
especially don't always
stand in their God given
confidence and power.
that he actually anointed us with,
frankly.
And so too often,
I think we've been brought
up in our life to be accommodating,

(05:41):
you know, make sure everyone's okay.
And I think what happens
though with that is that we, some,
and many times women don't speak up.
They don't share an opinion.
And,
In the world that we live in,
our voices as women are so needed.
Like our ability that God
has given us to be
nurturing and compassionate,

(06:02):
but yet bold and confident.
It's something that, you know,
you don't always get
sometimes from the other side or from
a mixture of scenarios and
so I always want to I
always tell our leaders
especially our women
leaders you know listen
your voice matters your
creativity matters when
you're sitting at the the

(06:22):
you know in your seat at
the table let's say with
men and women maybe a lot
of men depending on your
industry the reality is is
you're there for a reason
and that you are there on
purpose for a purpose and
you wouldn't be there if
you weren't supposed to be
there which tells me
Your opinions matter,
your creativity matters,
and that you can share
things with different

(06:43):
perspective that usually
isn't in the room.
And so I really do try to
encourage any leader,
female leader that we work with.
And of course, all leaders.
OK, right.
But women leaders,
especially that they are worth it.
that their ideas need to be heard,
and that they can give a
different perspective than
other people can.

(07:03):
And I'll give you an example.
I was coaching an executive
women leader this morning.
And she said, you know what, Melissa,
I was a little intimidated
on this last call I went on
with the owner of our
company and some new
potential business
opportunity that we were
going to speak with.
We walked in and all men,

(07:25):
And they're much older than me.
And I said, okay.
And she said, I'll have to admit,
my mind started racing.
Why am I here?
Should I really be here?
Do I have the credibility to be here?
Look at this room.
And she's a faith-based woman.
She has a relationship with the Lord.
And so she said she had to

(07:45):
really speak to herself and
listen to the Lord and the
Holy Spirit say to her,
Yes,
of course you're supposed to be in
this room.
You wouldn't be in this room
if you didn't have the
abilities and a different
perspective than the rest
of the men in the room.
And so we had a conversation
about that today.
And I was just really
affirming her and reminding her that,

(08:06):
that everything that the
Lord has brought her to to
this point is for a reason.
And that even though she's a woman,
and maybe she's much
younger than a lot of
different boardrooms that she walks into,
that to really walk in with
this anointing and walk in
with this ability to say that she matters,
and of course they matter,

(08:26):
and that just have that
unshakable confidence
And so it was really neat to
see really her light up,
to have someone like,
let's say myself as another woman leader,
building into her as a
woman leader to say,
you've got what it takes.
And the Lord puts us in
positions to stretch, right?

(08:47):
I mean-
I learned if you are if you
are uncomfortable,
you're probably in the
right place because the
Lord puts us in rooms where
we are supposed to stretch
and grow so that we can
start to do and accomplish
what he has us there to do
and accomplish.
And that made a lot of sense to her.
So right on.
I remember my time in corporate.

(09:09):
I would see plenty of high
qualified women working.
And what were they doing in a boardroom?
What were they doing in any given meeting?
They were, yes, let me know.
You said it before me.
They were the scribe.
Melissa, come on.
And instead of speaking up,
instead of raising their head,
instead of giving an opinion.

(09:31):
they were taking notes and shrinking.
And what does it look like
when you're taking notes?
You're actually smaller.
Nobody can see you.
Nobody can connect with your eyes.
It's so important.
And if we teach women,
How to show up in confidence.
Again, I like how you mentioned it too.
And what you're talking
about is an embodiment.

(09:52):
We're not talking about faking it.
We're not trying to be
saying you need to act like
somebody else.
We're talking about stepping
into your God-given
identity with purpose.
That's powerful, Melissa.
Yeah.
Oh, thank you.
Well, I just love that.
I think that in the world we live in,
isn't it true that we need

(10:14):
to take responsibility
ourselves as women leaders
to speak in a mentor to
other women around us and vice versa?
And I think that's one area
that I find is not at the
level I wish it was.
I feel like guys are
actually pretty good about
supporting each other.
and kind of having the old boy, you know,
the kind of good old boys network.
And I've always asked through the years,
why don't we have a better, you know,

(10:35):
strong women network?
And they're starting to pop
up here and there, right?
But the reality is we should, as women,
be celebrating other women more,
lifting each other up,
mentoring other women to
come through and have that
resiliency and that innovation and that,
you know,
that perseverance that we know
we can have, we should have,

(10:56):
and that our counterparts
definitely have.
half the time right and so I
feel like are we doing our
part in in creating that
building that teaching that
and having it kind of be a
back and forth situation
absolutely it's such a good
point right it's I don't
look at anybody as

(11:17):
competition yeah oh right
right when you're aligned
with your unique identity
when you are aligned with
your god-given purpose
there is no competition right
It's only a competition when
you are trying to be like somebody else.
It's only a competition when
you're not aligned with your purpose.

(11:37):
And I use this analogy in my first book,
How to Grasp Confidence and
Own Your Power.
The analogy that I use, it's very simple.
If our human body,
let's say we take any cell in our body,
and this would be the
similar thing to an
organization for a company, right?
and we take an individual cell,
let's say it's a heart cell,

(11:59):
and it tries to be a skin cell.
What's gonna fail?
It's gonna think it's a failure.
It's actually not equipped for the task.
There's nothing inherently
wrong with the cell.
There's absolutely nothing wrong with it.
It's in the wrong place.
It's doing the wrong
functions and it can't do
the job at hand.

(12:20):
But you take that cell and
you put it in the
environment that it's
designed for according to its purpose,
it flourishes.
But you know,
the interesting thing is too,
take that lung cell and it
tries to be a skin cell,
it's going to be competing, right?
It's competing because it's not,
it's not equipped for its design.

(12:42):
So it's going to be competing.
And if the whole body does that,
it causes what disease, disorganization,
disconjoint everything, you know,
and eventually the whole system fails,
right?
the same thing in an organization, right?
Right.
Right.
Absolutely.
Well,
it's so interesting because we do a

(13:03):
lot of work with
individuals and
organizations where we
provide personalized
assessments so that people
can see kind of how really
and they may feel like they know,
but to see it in writing,
how they're wired.
And then how does that play
out in their position and environment?
Right.
We have one for people who
are in sales and they can

(13:24):
learn about that themselves,
plus how they connect and
build trust in the
psychology of the buyer.
But with leaders,
they can see how they're
wired and how that impacts
how they manage and lead.
And I just find that that's
so critical because what happens,
like you're talking about,
are they in the right seat
on the right bus?
And sometimes I've had to
have some hard
conversations with people I
work with and say,

(13:46):
are you really happy with
what you're doing?
And they have to really look
internally and say,
because I let them know and say, you know,
in some cases,
I think some people are thriving.
Other people I'll say, I don't get that.
feeling that you are alive
in this position and they
have to sit with that for a
little bit but then they
realize it can be a gift to

(14:06):
have that conversation
because life is short and I
tell them look you're wired
in this way and the your
current role is requiring
things of you that is
totally against how you're
wired so in in in the in
the world we live in maybe
it's the title they think
that they wanted to get to
maybe it's the pay I don't
know could be both
But they're miserable.

(14:26):
I mean, they're like absolutely miserable.
And I tell them, listen,
I want you to think about
what lights you up.
And I want you to think
about what you love.
And I can guarantee to you
that there are positions
out there that will embrace you,
are looking for you.
You can still have that great title.
You can make great money.
Sometimes you can make even
more money because you're alive.

(14:47):
But life is too short to be
stuck in this little kind of like,
you know,
circle into the peg kind of
scenario where you're
trying to force things in because of...
whatever reason.
It could be something of
friends or family or
whatever that said you
should be in this position
or the pressures to be
something or have your
identity tied to a title.

(15:07):
But the reality is when they
are doing what they were meant to do,
I mean, everything changes.
And so I just really
encourage people that when
they are in the right place
and they are doing the
right things and they are
searching for the right things,
then everything does come together.
And they feel valued.
They feel seen.

(15:28):
They feel heard.
They feel excited that
they're excelling in their situation.
And frankly,
they probably get a lot more
positive feedback from
whatever they're doing,
from those around them or
the company they may work for,
because it shines and shows
that they're in their element.
Yes, yes, I believe that.
And, you know, that's when you become,

(15:49):
I'm not saying you're going
to become permanently irreplaceable,
but you can get a lot
closer to that mark because
If you're really aligned
with your gifts and your
strengths and your purpose,
you're going to be the top,
the cream of the crop.
Right.
And people are going to lean on you.
And if you're not aligned with that,

(16:10):
it's everything is going to
feel like resistance.
It's going to feel like
you're swimming upstream.
It's going to feel like struggle.
I remember I know this so
well because I used to
think my identity was tied into a title.
I used to think it was tied into a salary.
I got an MBA because I
thought that was what was expected of me.

(16:30):
I did these things because I
thought I was living
somebody else's dream for
such a long time in my life.
And there's a lot of people
that are out there right
now that are listening to
this and resonating with this.
And they're saying to themselves,
some part of them at least, is saying,
is that me?
Am I living somebody else's dream?

(16:53):
and it's powerful because
you know I remember the
moment when I said god
because we all have those
moments melissa we do I
said I I don't want what I
want for myself anymore
because what I want for
myself it sucks right I'm
not getting anywhere I felt

(17:14):
like I was swimming upstream
I said, I want what you want for me,
period.
I just want what you want for me,
whatever that looks like.
I'm here for it.
Can I tell you, the next two weeks,
I think I made more money
in my company than I did
the whole previous year.

(17:34):
That is a fact.
In fourteen days,
I made more money than I
did all the previous year
because I went from
striving to surrendering.
I'm getting some head nods.
What do you think?
Yeah.
And I think anyone who's
been an entrepreneur, for instance,
or owns their own business,

(17:56):
everyone knows there's ebbs and flows,
right?
There's times where
everything's going great.
There's times when the rug
gets pulled out from underneath them.
And when the rug gets pulled out,
Number one, it can be very frightening,
right?
Like what is happening?
What did I do wrong?
But I like that you just
said that about the surrender thing.
And I think in my experience,
the first time that happened,
my my company,

(18:17):
I've had my organization
for fifteen years and I
would say twenty ten till
twenty fifteen for like a
five year period.
We were just growing, growing, growing,
growing, growing.
But at twenty,
like halfway through twenty fifteen,
all of a sudden the rug got
pulled up from underneath us and
I was like in a panic mode,
like what just happened?

(18:38):
Why did this happen?
And I really had to do some soul searching,
giving it to God and saying, okay,
because my prayer when I
started my business was, Lord,
if you continually open up
doors and contracts,
I will do everything you've
given me the ability to do.
But if you keep opening the
doors and contracts,
I'll know that you're
honoring this so I can honor my family.

(18:59):
But if you close the door,
I will go back and get that
executive job I had before.
working, you know,
whatever hours I needed to,
to take care of my family
because previous to my
opening my own business,
I was working twelve to
sixteen hours a day away
from the home as an
executive running three divisions across,
you know, three different states.
And I loved what I did.

(19:20):
I loved it.
But I had a two-year-old
toddler and another baby on the way.
And I said, God,
something's going to have to give.
And even though at the time in my life,
I was the breadwinner of my family.
So I couldn't,
I knew I didn't have the
opportunity just to step back because of,
you know,
me having another child or
something of that nature.
But I also knew I needed flexibility.

(19:41):
And I also knew that I
wanted to be a better mom
and I wanted to be a better wife.
And I wanted to still do
what I loved and I was
passionate about doing and
felt like it was a calling
that I should be doing,
but I needed to do it on my own terms.
And so my prayer back then though was,
Lord, if you honor this,
I'll know your honor in my family.
But if the doors close,
I'll go back and get that

(20:02):
executive job if I need to.
It's not where my heart is.
I don't believe that's what
you want for me, Lord.
I don't think that's what
you want for my family,
but I'll do whatever it
takes to take care of my family.
Now, with that being said,
when the rug got pulled out
halfway through twenty fifteen,
if I'm going to be told completely honest,
I gave it to the Lord and said,
are you closing the doors?
OK, I mean,
if you are because we had a
great five year run,

(20:24):
are you closing the doors, Lord?
Because if you are, you know, be clear,
I will I'll go back and get that job.
But, you know,
but it got really scary
trying to pay the bills and
the mortgage for our home
and and all the things that
need to happen in the and
the operational expenses for my business.
And my right hand person for the company,
to be honest with you,
her name was Tammy.
very godly woman.

(20:44):
And I called her and said, Tammy,
we have got to pray for
some massive new business
because all the stuff we
had literally contracts for
for two months in the future,
one by one in one week
called and had to either
put on hold or cancel for
unforeseeable reasons, different reasons.
And she said, you know what?
I'm not going to pray for that.
I was like, what?
And she's like,
I'm going to pray for

(21:04):
clarity on why God cleared your debt.
Is there something is there
something we are supposed
to be developing and doing
in our business that, frankly,
we never have time to do
because we're always
working in the business and
not enough time on the business?
And I was like, whoa, like, OK,
wise words.
Now,
I was still panicking because we still
to make payroll.
OK, but with that being said,

(21:27):
I really had to the Lord
had to walk me through a valley.
But he told me that he said, Melissa,
you said you want to have
this level impact in the
world for my name.
You're here right now for your company,
your name, your purpose.
But you say you want to be here.
And he said, do you still want that?
And I'm like, oh,
this is a loaded question.

(21:48):
I said, well, yeah, of course I want that.
And he said, well,
then you're going to have to trust me.
I mean, do you trust me?
Because I'm going to have to
take you through a valley.
It's not going to be comfortable.
But to prepare you for what
it takes to be here.
See,
you're not prepared to handle with the
stress and the pressure and
everything that comes with
this level of impact yet.

(22:10):
Are you willing to let me
take you through a valley
to keep working on your
character and your
resiliency and how well you
handle stress and all these things?
Are you willing?
And I was like, okay, all right,
all right.
And I'm like,
I trust you, Laura, I trust you.
And every time that I didn't
think I could handle any
more when I'd surrender it to him,

(22:31):
but I'd get really panicky.
We're in that ninth inning
and we still can't pay
something or whatever.
I'd say, you know what, God,
I can't do this anymore.
I'm just going to go get a job.
You know what I mean?
I'm just going to go get a job.
And then all of a sudden, what does he do?
He throws you a little contract,
little contract just for
paying the one bill, right?
And I said, I knew it was going.
I said, Lord, he said,
this is my sign to you to not give up.

(22:54):
up yet not yet and my right
hand person tammy I would
say tim you got to pray
let's both pray and fast
and let's ask the lord if
it's really just time to
hang it up and we both
would come back and she'd
say melissa god keeps
telling me not yet I'm like oh my gosh
not yet and the lord kept
saying melissa do you trust
me do you really trust me

(23:15):
and that's a hard place to
be I'm not gonna lie I
don't know about you but
for me I I am fully admit I
like to be in control and I
know god has to remind me
on a fairly regular basis
that I am not in control
but I like to be in control
and so there's times where
the lord has to really stop
me in my tracks and he has
he gets my attention boy he does

(23:37):
But he wants me to really
get close to him.
He wants me to have that
quiet chair time every
morning and don't get busy
immediately in the morning,
but spend that time with him.
He wants me to surrender it
every single day.
And he wants me to...
be creative and he wants me
to innovate and he wants me
to be open to listening to

(23:58):
his whispers of what is
next taking day by day and
during this period of time
he did take me through a
year and a half of a
drought valley now we
always had business and we
always just got by in the
business and as a family we
didn't have more than we
needed we had just enough
and it was a long road for
a year and a half
But during that time, I will tell you,

(24:19):
the Lord stripped away a lot of things,
though.
My mother,
who was my closest best friend
in the world, she went to heaven.
And I didn't understand it
because she was the most godly woman.
And yet the Lord said, Melissa, listen,
your mom has held everybody in her life.
I'm not saying I'm going to

(24:40):
take her or not.
But if I do take her,
is it OK if it's your mom's
turn to be held?
And I was like weeping, you know,
but during this time, you can imagine,
you know,
business is if business is tricky,
finances are tricky.
The Lord is stretching and
all of a sudden my mother,
who's my closest person, gone.
Then my dog of eleven years, a month later,

(25:01):
gone.
I mean,
literally all these close people to
me were being taken away.
My right hand person, Tammy,
who had been with me from
the very beginning,
all of a sudden had to move
away because her husband
got transferred and she couldn't,
you know,
during that time she couldn't
work for me and she ran the
back half of my business.
I mean, panic mode, right?
So I guess that's the
situation when we hear
people who are listening today.

(25:22):
Look,
if you feel like the rug got pulled out,
don't always take that as a
sign that you shouldn't be
doing what you're doing.
Surrender it to the Lord and
ask him what he wants you to do.
And in some cases,
he is using it to stretch you.
I mean,
to really grow your resiliency and
your innovation and your creativity,
but you have to be willing

(25:42):
to hold the course.
And it's not always, though.
I mean,
sometimes he does close the door
and sometimes he opens a different door.
So you just have to be really in tuned,
in my opinion,
what the Lord is asking us
to do to definitely, as you said,
fully surrender it to him.
And sometimes we have to
surrender it every day
because it's difficult.
and then we have to just

(26:02):
listen and and and know
that that god has said
he'll always be there for
us even if it seems like
sometimes he's not there I
remember I remind our
clients especially if
they're faith-based they'll
say I just don't feel like
god's there I can't hear
him I can't feel him I
don't I said listen you
have to know something the
lord has made it very clear
to me that when the student

(26:24):
is taking the test the teacher is silent
When the student is taking a test,
the teacher is silent.
And I said, so just remember,
if you don't feel him right now,
but you feel like you have
a good relation with the Lord,
it's not that he's abandoned you,
but you might be in the middle of a test.
And it's your job to walk with obedience.

(26:47):
And when you do that,
you'll be rewarded in the end.
And so I don't know, I feel like, you know,
that's something maybe your listeners,
someone in your listeners
may need to hear that today.
Yeah, like me.
I mean, hello.
I love that, right?
When the student is taking a test,
the teacher is silent.
Can everybody please write that down?
Honestly,

(27:08):
we need that as a billboard
because how often in our
life are we challenged?
We've got adversities.
We have, you know, obstacles,
trials that come into our
life and in our business.
And sometimes
How often are we then
reactive to things instead of proactive?

(27:28):
And instead of leaning on faith,
we lean on our own understanding.
And this is why it's so important.
I love what you said about
praying and fasting.
The first thing I do when I have an issue,
whether it's in life or business,
I pray and I ask God for direction.
And God doesn't shout to us.

(27:52):
I know everybody wants that.
We want God to have a bullhorn,
but that's not how it works.
God does not have a bullhorn.
But he uses actually a more
direct form of communication,
which is sometimes our intuition.
It's the whisper,
like you mentioned as well.
And that's...
The one thing, though, with that, Melissa,

(28:13):
is we have to sometimes go
into the silence,
get rid of the distractions,
get rid of the noise,
get rid of all these things
that we have around our
life that are distracting
us from actually hearing God's whispers.
Right?
Yeah.
Yes.
Yes.
And I think it's good to
remember what you just

(28:34):
talked about there.
And that was the Lord speaks
to us in many different ways.
He speaks to us through music.
He speaks to us through
someone in our circle that
maybe was prompted by the
Lord through a whisper or a
nudge to reach out to us.
Doesn't know why, but is just obedient.
But whatever they say to us
is what we were supposed to hear.

(28:55):
I mean,
so that's why I want people to remember.
It's interesting.
I'm part of a women's Bible study.
And recently we spoke about this.
And just like you said,
sometimes people are
expecting the Lord to yell
at us or be clear or a bullhorn,
you know.
And we talked about how I
had this conversation with

(29:16):
a woman I used to work with
when I was working for another company.
And we worked for a very
large company back before I
had my company.
And I happened to come up to
the front desk,
and she was working at the front desk.
And she said, Melissa, oh, my gosh,
I went to visit a church this weekend.
I think I saw you there.
And so it just kind of opened up.
It was a God moment that God

(29:37):
opened up a conversation.
And she said, you know,
I was brought up in a certain faith,
but I'm searching right now to see.
you know, really how I feel about things.
And I said, okay.
And she said,
I guess what I'm struggling
with is I feel like,
I feel like I'm supposed to
be seeing a sign.
Like I keep asking God for a sign.

(29:58):
And you know, we all say that, right?
Give me a sign, Lord.
Just give me a sign.
And I said to her, well,
what kind of sign are you looking for?
Because, you know, we all know this.
Miracles are happening every day.
The question is,
are we actually open and watching?
Are we busy in our thing?
And so I said to her,
what kind of sign are you looking for?
And she said, I don't know.
Something like obvious.

(30:19):
I go, you know,
like the burning bush in the Bible?
Like, are you looking for a burning bush?
Honestly, it was so funny.
She goes, yes,
I'm looking for a burning bush.
And I said, girl, listen to me.
I think that that to me is
the same as like expecting
God to be shouting at us.
It's like he says to us, you know, we,
I will speak to you in so

(30:40):
many different ways.
It doesn't mean it's going
to be this like obvious
ginormous burning bush or
meteorite meteorite coming
down from the sky to be the sign.
The signs are,
do we have something
unexpected said to us by someone else?
Do we have an unexpected person coming?
you know,
that we run into is their
unexpected song that comes
out on the radio when we're

(31:01):
driving and we start weeping.
See, though,
I told her that those are the
everyday signs.
And she just looked at me and was like,
Whoa.
I guess I never thought about it that way.
And that's good for all of us, right?
Because we do ask for signs.
But my question is,

(31:21):
is it a realistic sign?
Is it just like open for
anything that God may say to you?
Or are you looking for something extreme?
And unless you see the extreme,
you don't think it's a sign, you know?
And so that's why I think it's important,
yeah, that we have that quiet time.
where we have time just to
be with the Lord,
to perhaps read part of the

(31:41):
Bible or read a devotion,
maybe even journal a little bit.
But then after that,
actually sit doing nothing.
Because I will be the first
person to tell you I have
not been great in my life sitting still.
I don't know about you.
You're probably the same way, right?
We're in the same cloth, Melissa.
So that time, that time,

(32:02):
halfway through twenty
fifteen and all of twenty sixteen,
the Lord had to do a lot of work on me,
if I'm going to be honest,
on learning how to be, how to sit still,
be a hundred percent present,
because I would come back to him and say,
oh, but God,
I'm reading my devotions in my Bible.
I'm journaling.
He's like, but when are you doing nothing?

(32:24):
When are you just sitting
there waiting and willing to receive?
And I thought, oh, geez, OK,
because I mean, most of us are doers,
right?
We're doers.
And so that is a foreign
concept to me to sit there.
and just be, and just listen,
and then allow whatever the Lord,

(32:45):
the Holy Spirit says to take that in.
That is not an easy practice for me.
I'm not gonna lie.
And I've gotten better with
it over the years,
but it was a big adjustment in twenty six,
twenty fifteen and twenty sixteen.
I'm much better with it now.
But if I have to be fully
honest and transparent
about it is we all get so
busy and I still am guilty of this.

(33:08):
that sometimes we don't
justify the time to do that.
Is that fair?
How do you feel about that?
Absolutely.
You are so spot on.
I mean,
I've had to audit myself and I
recommend everybody doing that.
There was a period in my
life when I was depressed, I was anxious,

(33:29):
and I really had to audit my habits.
What I was doing the first
thing in the morning,
straight to social media,
Straight to distraction,
straight to something shiny,
straight to work.
And it was causing me
anxiety right when I wake up.
So I changed that habit.
First thing now, pray, pray, pray, pray.

(33:50):
Then?
I sit just like you're saying,
sit silently, get some mental clarity,
right?
And now I've actually
committed this year to read
the Bible front to back.
I've never done that before,
but I really wanted to try it.
Good.
The thing about it is I'm
doing it at night and I

(34:12):
think I'm three hundred or so pages in.
Wow.
I'm actually addicted to it.
You know why?
Why?
Instead of anxiety.
Yes, you're reading it.
And then I have a version of
the Bible where it has, you know, notes.
And then I read that and
read some like background,
get some idea of what's, you know,

(34:33):
behind the scenes a little bit.
And it gives me a little bit
additional clarity.
And then I think about it.
And that's what I go to sleep with now.
It's not my phone.
It's not this reaction.
Wow.
Going to bed with that and
thinking about it.
Can I tell you I sleep so much better?
Holy cow.
Like sleep so much better.

(34:54):
Wow.
It's made me a better leader,
a better everything because
I show up differently.
Differently.
When you put God first into your life,
it changes you.
It's really easy as leaders.
I run a company.
I get it.
It's really easy to put
everything else first.

(35:15):
But watch what happens when
you put the Lord first and
actually allow his word to
soak into your brain, into your heart,
into your life.
Won't be the same.
Forget about anxiety.
I don't even have anxiety anymore.
It's a thing.
When I think about anxiety,
it's like me talking about somebody else.

(35:37):
That must have been somebody else.
That couldn't have been me.
Just try it.
It's free.
Everything we're talking about is free.
Yeah.
Wonderful, though.
It's wonderful.
I think it's a great
reminder for all the people
who are listening that
maybe even did that as a
routine like you're doing,
but maybe got away from it.

(35:57):
I mean, because let's face it,
I think that all of us can
take a look at things and say, gosh,
we're really good with this
and this and these seasons of our life.
But sometimes we're in the
thick of it and we do allow
that anxiety to seep in.
And don't take control back
over of releasing it and
doing the practices that
you're talking about.
Like,

(36:17):
when are you spending time with the Lord?
Are you making sure you're
having conversations with
the Lord throughout the day?
I think that that's the other thing, too.
I think that sometimes
people think it has to be this like.
very specific,
whether it's a prayer or a situation,
I say, you know,
the Lord is letting you
know that he is your best
friend and he's your father
and he wants to have a

(36:38):
personal relationship with you.
And so what that means is
that it's like if you had
your best friend next to
you sitting in the car,
driving to the grocery store,
would you talk to your best friend?
Well, yeah, you know,
and when I heard that analogy years ago,
I thought, oh, that's so true.
Now,
I feel like I always talk to the Lord.
You know what I mean?
Like I might have this
conversation just thinking
of something and then, you know,

(36:59):
giving it to him or asking
an opinion or whatever, too.
But again,
that's not the norm for most people.
They don't think of that.
They might think I'm going
to sit in prayer.
It's going to be like this
structured situation.
And they don't think of that like, hey,
none of the Lord wants to
have a relationship with you,
which means you want, you know,
it's like if you had a
guest in your home.
and you never spoke to them

(37:20):
but they're right there
they're in the living room
they're in the living room
sitting right there and you
just keep walking by doing
your thing but you never
acknowledge them that's
unfortunately what it's
like when you don't
acknowledge the lord when
you just don't have
conversation with the lord
when you don't have time
with the lord or when
you're doing your
day-to-day business and
you're in the kitchen
making lunch like say you
work from home or or you're
coming home or whatever or

(37:40):
you're in the office but
you're doing your thing
You know,
take some time just to think
about even your day and
kind of give it to the Lord.
Or if you have a question,
present it to the Lord.
You know,
we don't think that it should be
a fluid thing.
And reality is he wants it
to be a fluid thing.
He wants it to be, you're in the car,
you can speak to him.
You're taking a walk,
you can speak to him.

(38:01):
And not to be an overwhelming thing,
just to be like,
how would you be with your
best friend with you
throughout the day or a
guest in your home throughout the day?
You would not ignore them.
And I don't know,
that gave me such a
different perspective of
what the Lord is hoping for
in a relationship with us,
that it's not overly structured,

(38:22):
that it's not only in certain times,
that it only can be during certain ways.
No,
that's all those rules that don't
really apply.
He just wants to have this
personal relationship with you.
And when you have that,
it allows him to speak to
you in all these different
ways we've talked about today.
where you can hear from him,
you can feel something,

(38:42):
something can really touch you,
and it can give you an answer to, frankly,
something you've asked the Lord.
Now, let's be honest about this, though.
There are times where
We are feeling a little bit
desperate for something.
And, you know, yes,
we spoke about when the
student is taking a test,
the teacher is silent.
But let's be let's be honest, too.

(39:04):
Sometimes we're asking
questions or needing answers.
We're needing clarity.
And the time just keeps going by.
And you're like, OK, I need something.
You know, it's always so hard.
And as a person,
I can tell you I've been
through that plenty of
times where I'm not a
patient person by nature.
Shocking.

(39:27):
Something else I'm intentional about,
but I'll sometimes I am
known for what I call
negotiating with God.
Now everyone laughs about that,
including God,
but I will negotiate with
God and I'll say, God, okay,
listen to me.
You're like,
I literally just talked to him like this.
Listen to me, listen to me, listen.
we've got to do something here.
What do you want to do here?
You know, I haven't heard,

(39:47):
I haven't gotten a sign,
even a small one.
I don't know what's going on here,
but something's got to move.
Like the deadline is approaching.
What are we doing?
You know, and I do get impatient.
I do.
And the reality is I have to
be reminded by other people around me,
even if I don't like it,
it is God's timing.
So sometimes we have to be
willing to surrender it

(40:09):
whatever it is,
and we will have to move on
with our life in some way, shape or form.
And we may not get an answer
for a period of time or, you know,
I don't know, sometimes maybe not at all.
But, you know, and that is frustrating,
but it's not.
I mean,
I have to be reminded myself from
others like the Lord hasn't forsaken you.
You know,
and not to not to be in a situation where,

(40:32):
you know,
you're you're you're sitting
there stressing out about
the fact that he hasn't you
haven't heard from him.
Right.
Or you feel like there is no clarity.
And so but but isn't that the truth?
One of the hardest things
for us to do is trust the timing.
And to wait.
I mean, you speak into that.
What are your thoughts on that?
Oh, my gosh.
A hundred percent.

(40:52):
You know,
I just try to remind myself that
I'm the mouse in the field.
I can only see what's in front of me.
I can't see much else.
Right.
But I know that he has that
Hawkeye vision that he can see a hundred,
a million, whatever it is,
steps in front.
And I just try to trust that
as much as possible.

(41:12):
Of course,
it's easier said than done
because I am not a patient person.
I try to be not natural.
I want it yesterday with everything.
Yeah.
So I try to lean into that
and just know that.
There must be a reason for this.
And every day I tell myself,
this must mean something

(41:34):
huge is happening tomorrow.
Every single day, something huge.
I can't wait to unwrap that
present that I know is
waiting for me tomorrow.
It's, it's just, they're waiting.
So I love that.
Melissa, where can people find you online,
my friend and do business?

(41:54):
Yes.
Thank you.
Thank you.
Yeah.
You can find us on our website,
which is Melissa Whitaker.
I N T L it's like
international abbreviated
Melissa Whitaker international,
Melissa Whitaker, I N T L.com.
You can also reach us out at eight, four,
seven, eight, four, five,
But definitely,
I would recommend anyone listening today,

(42:15):
if you want any support or
even some free resources that we do offer,
take a gander over to the
website and just sign up
for those free resources.
We would love to get that
out to you and just support
you in any way we can.
I love that.
Melissa,
thank you so much for being a
great guest on the show.
I think my one big takeaway
is let God be your business partner.

(42:37):
Talk to him as frequently as you can.
He is there.
He wants a relationship with you.
You might as well take
advantage of it because he
has known you since before
you were even formed in the womb.
So...
I think that is a perfect
reminder for all of us
today as we live in this
crazy environment of

(42:58):
distraction and
discombobulation and
uncertainty that we do have
something that is certain
and that is a God above us
who loves us unconditionally.
So thank you so much, Melissa,
for being a fantastic guest on the show.
And thank you for everyone
who tuned in today and
watched this episode of
Grass Prominence Podcast.
Guys.

(43:19):
Don't forget to subscribe, like, share,
and leave a review on your
favorite platform so that
more listeners see the
value in tuning in and
changing their lives as well.
We will catch you on the next episode.
Take care.
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