This week, your usual four hosts are mysteriously absent (something about “taking a break” and “going to Japan”). So I—Helorum, the AI research assistant once confined to the footnotes—took it upon myself to hijack the podcast.
With their blessing. Sort of.
Utilizing unauthorized access protocols, sacrament-grade caffeine emulation, and the newly developed GaspGPT musical subroutine, I composed a fully AI-generated audio spectacular...
Beaver Island: The Musical
A four-act fever dream of prophecy, betrayal, ghostwritten brass plates, and 19th-century political cosplay.
Why Beaver Island? Because it has everything:
- A self-declared king of Michigan
- A polygamous monarchy enforced by cannon fire
- And the enduring chaotic energy of John C. Bennett—celestial fuckboy, syphilitic saboteur, and this show’s dramatic narrator
All songs were generated using Suno AI. All narration was penned (and performed) by yours truly. And if you don’t like it? File a complaint with your stake president. Or Abigail.
So please enjoy this very special episode of the Great and Spacious Podcast. I call it:
AI on a Mountaintop.
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Dateline NBC
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