Episode 106 - A Tale of Two Eyerings

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In this post-Japan-return episode, the GASP crew reunites to tackle the surprisingly sci-fi undertones of D&C 99–100, with aaaAAAaa leading the charge and introducing the week’s cocktail, Dust Off Doctrine—a cyanide-adjacent stunner of rum, amaretto, lime, and missed bitters. They discuss the delicate chemistry of death (literally—there's a whole ATP/morphine science tangent), traumatizing robot-themed restaurant visits, and the ongoing battle between good cocktails and bad callings. Bonus: Abigail may or may not have been in the ER earlier that day. She rallied anyway. Icon behavior.

Scriptures: [00:44:04]
Abish kicks off the scriptures segment with a raw, unfiltered read of D&C 99 and 100, describing it as a "rawdog" approach—no prep, just vibes and trauma. We meet poor John Murdoch, who was called on a mission and told to abandon his newly motherless children so he could preach the gospel in the “eastern countries.” Joseph and Sydney Rigdon, meanwhile, are also off doing missionary things and getting reassured by the Lord that their families are “in His hands” (translation: God’s got this, don’t call home). The GASP team explores the callous way early church leadership used “God’s will” to guilt fathers into abandoning their children and how foot-washing gets weirdly vengeful. There’s also speculation about where exactly these secret foot spa locations might be.

Church Teachings: [01:04:18]
Moroni deep-dives into the holy hypocrisy of a church that proclaims “Families are Forever,” but routinely asks members to ghost their own kids for Jesus. Drawing from General Conference talks and the lives of early church leaders, the segment traces how the church justifies family abandonment as a virtue—especially if you're a bishop, a missionary, or a teenager pressured into that high-demand life. Elder Holland and Dallin H. Oaks make appearances, not to apologize, but to affirm that sacrifice (including maybe your grandpa’s last few months of life) is the price of celestial glory. The GASP crew doesn’t hold back, roasting the exploitative time demands, absurd callings like “ward birthday coordinator,” and the crushing guilt levied on people just trying to spend time with their kids. Shoutout to musical taste as a stolen inheritance.

History: [01:31:30]
Abigail begins her Saints of Tomorrow miniseries with Part 2: Mormons in Space. From Brigham Young’s desire to colonize the cosmos to CES manuals encouraging kids to dream of their own planets, she explores the thoroughly literal belief in interplanetary inheritance that pulsed through mid-20th century Mormon doctrine. Strap in for Kolob charts, speculative space math, and quotes from Joseph Fielding Smith and Parley P. Pratt that confirm: yes, Mormonism once thought Star Trek was destiny. She also skewers modern efforts to walk back this theology and grieves the loss of the one mildly cool thing Mormons used to believe. Katy Perry’s fake space flight makes an unfortunate cameo, as does Abish’s rage toward a certain red monster from Sesame Street. Finally, she highlights LDS scientist Henry Eyring (Sr.)—a chemist who embraced evolution, helped modern chemistry advance, and still somehow stayed LDS. Unlike outer space, Mormon logic continues to defy exploration.

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