Episode 111 - A Priesthood Appendage

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Moroni opens the episode with the “Govern-Mint Mojito”—a smoky, mint-heavy concoction that’s somehow both refreshing and authoritarian, much like the subject of today’s scripture. Packed with mezcal, crème de menthe, citrus, and ginger ale, it’s the cocktail equivalent of a hostile Church disciplinary council: intense, confusing, and liable to make you question your choices. The gang also swaps stories about being chronically online, catastrophically hormonal, and deeply disappointed by timekeeping systems. So, you know, standard vibes.

Scriptures: [00:20:46]
Abish takes us through D&C 107, which might be Joseph Smith’s most elaborate game of organizational Calvinball. We’re talking multiple priesthoods, multiple presidencies, and enough confusing titles to make a mid-tier corporate flowchart look elegant. The drinking game? Sip every time someone says “priesthood.” So by verse 3, you’re already repenting via Gatorade. Between Flamin’ Hot Cheetos, Elmo trauma, and a special shoutout to Abby Cadabby’s tragic backstory, this segment has everything—including a fierce takedown of celestial nepotism.

Church Teachings: [00:53:23]
aaaAAAaaa drunkenly stumbles through the Church’s official teachings like a bishop trying to run ward council on NyQuil. D&C 107 is revealed to be a Frankenstein’s monster of earlier revelations and post-Science Camp promotions. The theme? Congratulations, you’ve been spiritually voluntold into leadership. No pay, no real authority—just vibes, responsibility, and an eternal line on your celestial LinkedIn. It’s the ecclesiastical equivalent of a company giving you a new title instead of a raise.

History: [01:22:05]
Abigail launches a brand new series on Mormon offshoot cults from the 60s and 70s, kicking off with the Dream Mine—aka the Relief Mine, aka Mormon Gold Rush 2: Electric Boogaloo. Enter John Hyrum Koyle, who claimed there was hidden gold in a Utah mountain that would save the Church from financial ruin. Spoiler: there’s no gold. But there are UFOs, ghosts, weather weapons, and a prophecy-powered pyramid scheme. It's like a Dan Brown novel had a baby with Prepper TikTok and baptized it in Spanish Fork.

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