Episode 113 - Listen, Sister-Child

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With Abish out sick (may she recover swiftly from her bout with “consumption”), Abigail steps in for the drink segment. The result? A potent surprise called The Fool’s Inheritance, inspired by fool’s gold, disappointment, and the inevitable letdown of spiritual get-rich-quick schemes. This martini-shaped sucker punch features bourbon, elderflower liqueur, a whisper of lemon juice (we're working with scraps), peach puree syrup, Angostura bitters, and is topped with soda water and edible gold dust. It tastes like broken promises and regret, but with sparkles.

Naturally, this led to a full-blown discussion on apocalypse baking, sodium bicarbonate mining in Utah, and how the Salt Flats will one day power the birthday cake industry after civilization collapses. Truly, it’s like Doomsday Preppers meets Chopped.

Scriptures: D&C 110–112 – [00:19:38]
aaaAAAaaa takes us on a journey through D&C 110–112 with the interpretive lens of “drunk Uncle Joseph” slurring revelation to Thomas B. Marsh on the Kirtland Temple porch. In Section 110, Joseph and Oliver casually bump into Jesus, Moses, Elias, and Elijah in a divine relay of priesthood keys. Moses drops off the keys to gathering Israel, Elias hands over Abrahamic blessings, and Elijah gives them the spiritual equivalent of a family tree starter pack.

Then in Section 111, Joseph heads to Salem, MA to treasure hunt, only for God to go, “Surprise! The real treasure is the friends you made along the way.” Classic bait-and-switch revelation.

By the time we hit Section 112, aaaAAAaaa introduces a drinking game: guess whether a quote is from scripture or just his notes being unhinged. The line is blurry, the vibe is feral, and everything somehow ends with a warning about Billy running his mouth again.

Church Teachings: [00:40:13]
Moroni starts by detouring into a passionate breakdown of the electron transport chain, reminding everyone that real power comes from cellular respiration (take that, anti-science sentiment). Then he pivots hard into a fire-and-brimstone roast of Ezra Taft Benson, quoting him saying, “One of the chief means of misleading our youth and destroying the family unit is our educational institutions.” Moroni’s response: “I know all that biochemistry because of education, bitch.” Cue mic drop.

He critiques how Mormon leadership has historically villainized secular education while simultaneously depending on highly educated members to keep their theocratic bureaucracy afloat. Irony? Meet priesthood.

History: The Kingston Cooperative – [01:12:03]
Abigail closes out with the chilling saga of the Kingston Cooperative in Layton, Utah, an economic and religious fringe group that turned consecration into control. She unpacks how the Kingston clan structured their lives around a united order-like system—except with a hefty side of nepotism, child labor, and deeply questionable family dynamics.

From stockpiling assets to maintaining power through intermarriage, the Kingstons turned their religious offshoot into a dynasty that would make Brigham Young look like a socialist. Abigail, as always, brings the receipts and the horror, making it very clear that “The Fool’s Inheritance” could easily refer to anyone born into that mess.

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