As always, we kick things off with pop culture, current events, and our signature chaotic cocktail. This week, Abish guided us through the creation of the Cosmonism, a drink that started out looking alarmingly like bodily fluids but was saved by the power of grenadine. We also discuss the cultural travesty that is Love Is Blind casting eight clones of the same white dude, Saturday Night Live’s 50th anniversary, and White Lotus incest vibes. Standard stuff.
Scriptures: [00:21:20]
Moroni takes us through Doctrine and Covenants 80-83, where Joey Boy continues to hand out meaningless callings, fire people for vague reasons, and lay the groundwork for his version of divine communism—except, of course, when real communism is involved. The cognitive dissonance is strong with this one. Also, we unpack how God is apparently just a celestial landlord and how women and children get “maintenance” instead of, you know, rights. Delightful.
Church Teachings: [00:44:20]
aaaAAAaaa screams at us (in the best way possible) about the LDS Church’s very special relationship with communism. We cover how Mormon leaders, in true hypocritical fashion, demonized communism while literally running a communist-style religious economy (because Jesus-approved wealth redistribution is totally different, you guys). Also, did you know that Ezra Taft Benson was basically besties with McCarthy-era nutjobs and thought Martin Luther King Jr. was a secret communist agent? Yeah. We wish we were kidding.
History: [01:17:19]
Abigail goes full conspiracy mode and takes us on a journey to the center of the Church—literally. Turns out, early Mormons loved the Hollow Earth theory, and Joseph Smith was 100% on board with the idea of secret civilizations living inside the planet. We explore how this nonsense has been around forever (thanks, Greek mythology), why 19th-century scientists were just making shit up, and how Jules Verne was actually onto something (but definitely not the Mormons). Also, we spend a considerable amount of time thirsting over 90s-era Brendan Fraser, which is both valid and necessary.
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