I KNEW I WOULD DIE: Stephanie Arnold’s SHOCKING Premonition and Miraculous Survival

Episode Transcript
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Announcer (00:00):
Close your eyes and imagine
what if the things in life tocause us the greatest pain, the
things that bring us grief, orchallenges, challenges designed
to help us grow to ultimatelybecome what we were always meant
to be.
We feel like we've been buried.
But what if, like a seed hadbeen planted,

(00:23):
and having been planted, whogrow to become a mighty tree.
Now, open your eyes, open youreyes to this way of viewing
life. Come with me as we exploreyour true, infinite, eternal
nature. This is grief to growth.
And I am your host, Brian Smith.

Brian Smith (00:46):
Hey everybody, this is Brian back with another
episode of grief to growth. Andtoday I've got with me Stephanie
Arnold, and you may have seenher on the Netflix series
surviving death and I wasfortunate enough to be able to
reach out to Stephanie andschedule this interview. She's
got a fascinating story. So I'mgoing to read her bio, and then
we're going to get started justhave a conversation as we always

(01:07):
do. Before Stephanie Arnolddied, she had been an Emmy
nominated award winning TVproducer, who spent nearly three
decades creating and producingTV shows, music videos and
documentaries that she met thelove of her life, and Stephanie
decided the only thing shewanted to produce was a family.
Little did she know this fatefuldecision quite literally lead
her on an end to the end of onelife and beginning of another.

(01:30):
It was during the birth of asecond child that Stephanie
suffered a rare but often fatalcondition, called an amniotic
fluid embolism or an AFP anddied on the operating table for
37 seconds. Everything she doesat this time is a direct result
of her survival. Thatexperience. As I mentioned
earlier, she's currentlystreaming on Netflix surviving
death, which is an excellentseries, it's a six part series

(01:54):
on Netflix, just finishedwatching, it's great. She's
become an award winninginternational best selling
author, and inspirationalspeaker and a mission help
others realize that connectingwith their intuition can not
only enhance our lives, but canvery well save them. So with
that, I want to welcomeStephanie Arnold to Grief to
growth.

Stephanie Arnold (02:11):
Thank you so much. I appreciate it.

Yes, definitely. I really want to let people know
like who you are, about whatyour experiences are, and and
kind of where you what you gotout of it. So I want you to
start where we'd like to startin terms of telling us about
your experience.

And they be catalysts, or my previous life.
Well, my second life reallygood. It's always interesting,
like interview people that havehad these like life changing
moments in life. When peopleasked me to tell my story, I
usually started in the middle.
Because it's like, that's wherethings change is this. This is
the event that changed things.
So it's up to you, if you wantto start with, I could even ask

(02:48):
you Did you have experienceslike this before? Or we can
start with your actualexperience that your books are
about what we can start with theexperience and work meander
around. So we'll go off ontangents. So I met my husband in
2008. And then he relocated mefrom LA, I was producing reality

(03:12):
shows. And at that time, I waslike, wow, I met the love of my
life. This is worth keeping upeverything. And so I relocated
to Chicago. And then we startedto produce a family like you
said, so the first baby so Ihave a stepdaughter who I've
known since she was two yearsold. So she was my first if you

(03:34):
will. And then the second onewas through three rounds of IVF.
And I had no problems, no issueswith the pregnancy, except she
was 41 weeks and I needed a Csection because she was almost
nine pounds. So that was thatwas the only complication I had.

(03:54):
And then the second one Jacob Iwas pregnant with after several
rounds. And during the first 20weeks of the pregnancy,
everything was fine. I had noCharley horses, no acid reflux.
Now I was like check, getpregnant with boys all the time
this way. And thenand then about the 20 week
ultrasound, I was diagnosed withthe placenta previa, which is

(04:18):
basically the placenta growingon top of the cervix. And it's a
one in 200 risk where basically,you know, as the placenta as the
uterus grows, the placenta willmove out of the way but if it
doesn't, then the worst casescenario is you get a C section.
And my husband and I weresplitting our time between New
York and Chicago and theradiologist had come in which is

(04:39):
slightly different than if youwere an irregular doctor. So the
radiologist said, you know, youhave this but I'll be back and I
looked at my husband, and Isaid, I don't know what this is,
but I have a bad feeling aboutthis. It just hit me like a ton
of bricks like that made thehair on the back of my neck
stand up and you knowMy husband's a PhD from

(05:00):
University of Chicago. He is aneconomist. He is a former Air
Force pilot. He is somebody whois very analytical data driven.
He really likes to processeverything and look at all of
the stats before he makes anykind of decision. And what I was
saying to him, was a knee jerkreaction. So for him, he was

(05:23):
like, honey, we don't have allthe information, we'll ask the
doctors you have prenatal care,let's, let's figure this out
together. But there was justthis knowing I've had that there
was just something off. And sowhen I went home, of course, Dr.
Google starts googlingeverything. And I'm like, oh, a
placenta previa can turn into anaccreta, which is what Kim

(05:48):
Kardashian had, which isbasically when the placenta
emerges almost like a lava lampor the the the organs of the
placenta and the uteruscombined, then if that happens,
you might bleed. If you bleed,you might need a hysterectomy.
If you need a hysterectomy, youcould hemorrhage out and if you
have my child, you and babycould lose your life.

(06:10):
And I sat back and I said to myhusband, I said, this is going
to happen to us, the onlydifference is the baby's going
to be fine. And of course myhusband looks at the computer
and he's like, come on, whatyou're looking at is half of a
half of a half a half a halfpercent chance. That's the
miracle baby behind me flyingaround the school, Jacob a pi.

(06:37):
And, and then I He's like,that's, it's not gonna happen.
That's the worst worst casescenario. And so, so then what
ended up happening was, I waslike, okay, but I'm on. Alright.
So then he says, so he's like,this is not gonna happen. But I

(07:00):
knew it was it was. It wasalmost like, you know that
knowing when you meet somebodyand you're like, this person is
a bad person. I don't know whatit is. But it just, it's bad. Or
I don't know how I know this,but I know it. But it was like
that. So then I didn't stopthere. I talked to everybody I

(07:22):
knew. I talked to the doctors, Italked to the nurses. I was like
my placenta previous return toaccreta. I'm wanting to
hemorrhage. I'm getting ahysterectomy. And I'm gonna die.
And you're gonna put me undergeneral anesthesia. I'm gonna be
cut from sternum to pelvis likeI was, I sounded like a lunatic.
I sounded like an absolute crazyperson. And, you know, in all of
the doctors defenses, you know,the tests were not showing what

(07:45):
I was seeing. They were doingultrasounds, they were doing
blood workup they were doingthey were taking notes. They
were they were saying you know,Mr. Arnold, you know, maybe
you're just stressed. My husbandwas worried that maybe there was
something wrong with babybecause this was not typical
behavior of me. So he didn'twant to put out anything into
the universe that that it wasnegative. And, like, I find that

(08:07):
interesting now, because I'mlike, you don't claim to be a
spiritual person. But yet youdon't want to put things out
into the universe, like how he'sup I believe in energy. Yes. So
how am I okay, so, um, so thenwe had, you know, at some point,
I spoke to my ob who asked me ifI was still having these

(08:31):
visions, and these weren'tdreams. These were, this was
something that was sticking withme. This was like, you know, I
talked about the differencebetween a premonition and a
casual thought. I mean, ifyou're sitting on a plane, and
you're like, oh, planes cancrash and this plane could crash
and oh my god, this plane cancrash and then you just that is
a casual thought. It's fleeting,it's momentary, or you're

(08:52):
thinking of it it pops in yourhead. It real premonition is
something that sticks with youit It never lets up and this
never let up. This was somethingI was thinking about day and
night and I was racing againstthe clock because I was sure
that the day that I deliveredthis baby was the day I was
going to die. So call it maybemy producers instinct and you

(09:15):
know I used to work in TV and Iused to produce television and
so with TV, you know it's highstress, it's very you know, and
I i function really well onunder a lot of pressure. But I
researched I did a lot ofresearch so at the end of the
day, I asked my ob I said if Ineed a hysterectomy what happens

(09:36):
or we had a friend of ours who'sa gynecological oncologist and
and what they do is that theyperform surgeries on
reproductive organs that arethat have cancer and so they're
high risk surgeries. And so hesays, Stephanie, look what
happens when you wish you're notgoing to need a hysterectomy.
But if in fact you do, he obwould transfer you to maternal

(09:58):
fetal Medicine, but you reallywouldn't want MFM to do it,
you'd want it to die not to doit because they have more
experience. So I make anappointment with the head of
gynaec at Northwestern MemorialHospital in Chicago. And, you
know, we're sitting in thewaiting room and my husband went
with me to every singleappointment. And so he is
sitting there, and, you know, heloves me, and he wants me to be

(10:20):
okay. But this was more than thetools that he had ms toolbox to
deal with, you know, this wasthis was the unknown. And this
is this is not comfortable forhim. So he's sitting in the
waiting room. And we're seeingwomen who are suffering from
cancer, and they have IVs intheir arm, and they have no hair
and, and he's like, I'membarrassed to be here. And I

(10:41):
said, I don't know what to tellyou. So everybody's telling me
I'm fine. And, you know,everybody sees this open road,
and I see this 18 Wheelerheading straight for me. Maybe
this doctor has heard somethingof foreboding, or this impending
doom, you know, duringpregnancy, because and, and
maybe he'll have some answers.

(11:02):
So, so we go sit in thisconsultation room with him and
his resident, and there's, youknow, take his shoes, taking
notes. And the doctor says, Mrs.
Arnall, how can I help you? AndI said, Well, I posted a
previous when I turn into anaccreta, I made a hysterectomy.
You're going to perform thehysterectomy in a couple months.
I see you You see me, you're mydoctor. So he stops. And he

(11:24):
says, Mrs. Arnold, have you beenon the internet? And I said,
Why? Yes, I have. But this isgoing to happen. And he's like,
Okay, well, let's get an MRI. Ifthe MRI is positive for an
accreta, then I'll schedulemyself to be available for you
on your on your day of delivery.

(11:49):
Okay, okay, great. No problem.
So I do the MRI, the MRI isnegative for freedom. And my
husband looks at me and he says,You should feel relief, you
should feel you know, muchbetter. And I said, No, I feel
much worse, because now I'mrunning out of people to tell
this crazy foreboding story too.

(12:10):
So I take to Facebook. So nowwe're at a point where I'm like,
no one's listening to me. So Itake to Facebook. I'm like, if
anybody has my blood type, I'mgonna need it. I write goodbye
letters. I sent out goodbyeletters I talked to if you saw
me in a coffee shop and said,how's your pregnancy? I'd be
like, I'm gonna die. Likefriends, family, everybody

(12:34):
stayed away from me. And I thinkthey were just holding their
breath just waiting for me todeliver and just move on. Right?
Like, like, let's just, let'sjust get rid of the anxiety,
whatever this is.
You know, and at some point, myob told me, I think you need to
see have a consultation withAnastasia. And so I made a phone

(12:54):
call to Anastasia. And she saidshe was telling me where I would
recover what would happen withthe epidural all these things.
And I said, great. I've had thisbefore. I've had a baby before.
I said, but what happens in theevent that this this this, this,
this happened? And she said shewas startled by the way that I
was speaking. And but at the endof the day, she tried to

(13:16):
reassure me and said, you're ina teaching hospital, we have you
covered. And she said she'llnever forget the last words I
said to her, which were it iswhat it is, like, this is my
This was my last ditch effort.
It was there was no one else totalk to. There was no one else
to consult with, you know. Andso, at 36 weeks to the day, my
husband is on a business trip toNew York, I'm supposed to

(13:41):
deliberate 37 weeks, 36 weeks tothe day, I start bleeding on the
kitchen floor. And I know thatI'm having this baby today. So I
get to the hospital, Jonathan'son a plane heading back. They
triage me and they're like, youknow what, the the RS are quiet.
I think that now's the time thatwe should take Jacob and I kiss

(14:03):
my daughter million times. AndI'm trying to have that that
motherly instinct of not havingyou know, my case, my daughter a
million times and they'reassuring her that that she's
going to be that I'm going to beback with her brother. And my
mother's instinct kicks in and Idon't cry. And I'm just like, I

(14:24):
don't want the last thing thatshe sees for me to be breaking
down. And I'm texting my husbandon the Skype chat. And I'm
telling him that he's made methe happiest woman in the world,
pleased to take care of ourchildren and he's still not
getting it and I'm veryconscious that these are the
last words he is ever going toread from me. But he's like,
Where do I Where do I meet you?

(14:48):
And I said, a full recovery.
Hopefully they will be back andas they Gurney me back. I tell
my doctors that there'ssomething wrong you need to put
me under general anesthesia. Shesaid, I'm not going to do that,
because it's going to put youasleep and the baby to sleep.
And so it's too dangerous. And Iknow you're nervous because

(15:08):
Jonathan's not here, but I needyou to trust us. And we've got
you covered, and said, Okay. Andthat's, that was my last ditch
effort, right? I'm being wheeledinto the room that's going to
give life to my son and takemine. And I am acutely aware of
how heavy this pressure is.

(15:28):
Because I can't go anywhere. Ican't, I'm not getting out of
this. Like, they're, you know,if you're having elective
surgery, and you're having aforeboding feeling, you just
don't do the surgery. But thisis not, this is not an option
for me. So they prepare me for Csection, they put a curtain in
front of my face, I'm going to,you know, on the table, and at

(15:51):
that point, I don't remembermuch of anything else. They tell
me there was about 15 minutesbefore they delivered Jacob but
they said when they were talkingto me, I was kind of catatonic
so I feel like I scared myselfout of my own body, like when
you get scared to death. Like Iwas just, I was just there, but
I wasn't there. And so they weretalking to me. And I wasn't

(16:16):
answering then they deliver ahappy, healthy, baby boy. And
seconds later. I died.

Wow. Well, it's I like to pause just for a second
to understand some things. You,you obviously this feeling was
intense. I mean, and you werenot about to let it go. Even
though everybody's telling you,Stephanie, you're just imagining
this. So what was it? Was it afeeling were their visions? And
what made you so confident thatit was real?

All of the above it was a heaviness, I felt
around everything I was, I wasconscious. I had three months to
save my life. And I was tryingto enjoy moments with my
daughter with my husband andwith my stepdaughter. But I
couldn't because there was thisjust heaviness around every
single moment. Every time Iwould talk to somebody new, I

(17:10):
was just feeling hoping maybeI'd get an answer from them of
something that a cousin, afamily member or a friend had
gone through, but it wasn'tcoming. I was having visions of
like, you know, as soon as I sawa lava lamp in my head, which I
describe as the placenta accretawith the the that's exactly what

(17:32):
it looked like. And I felt ithappening in my body. I was
walking through a park and theIt was a cold winter day and the
fountain was dry. And then in mymind's eye it was started
flowing, but then it turned toblood. And then I felt my head
of visceral reaction to that asmy body started to hemorrhage,
you know, I felt had a visceralreaction to that blood, and then

(17:54):
all of a sudden, I felt my bodyhemorrhage. And then I raced to
the ER with my husband and mydaughter and they were like Mr.
Arnold, are you okay? And Isaid, No, I'm hemorrhaging. And
they were like, no, you're not,everything's fine. You know,
baby's fine. And medically, it'sfine. Everything's good. And my
husband's like, okay, it's afalse alarm. And I'm like, No,

(18:16):
this is a warning. You know, soit was, I was so confident there
wasn't even. I wasn't evenquestioning how I was getting
this information. More, manypeople might have questioned or
after that, like somebody hastold me before, you know, after
the Fifth and Sixth Doctor toldyou, you were just stressed. And
you know, the tests arenegative, I would have shut up

(18:37):
when I said, then you would havestayed dead.

Yeah. So and you had had, because I've heard your
story. And I know that you hadhad some intuition before were
things that come true. So I'mwondering if that might have
played into the fact that youwere so confident that this was
real,

you know, as a kid, when I had certain visions,
somebody ended up dying. Andwhen that happens as a kid, I
think you, you believe you'rewilling it to happen, at least
that's for me. And so when thathappened, I shut it down. I
didn't want to see it. I waslike, This is not what I wanted.

(19:15):
I don't want any part of it. Sowhen this is your own
foreboding, and you have thelove of your life and your
family, and you're just like,No, no, this cannot this cannot
be happening. I didn't worryabout being judged. I mean,
everybody thought I was crazy.
But at that point, I was alreadyoff the rails. So it was like,
okay, judge me, I don't care.
But somebody's got to hear me.
Because the biggest issue I hadwas that my doctors who have

(19:36):
known me for close to a decade.
Were sitting there saying, youknow, everything's fine. Maybe
you're just stressed. But thiswas abnormal behavior. For me.
They knew who I was they I'd hada baby before I'd had a C
section before so and I was usedto high pressure so fruit for

(19:59):
them.
They were missing that reallyimportant point and, and had
they listened differently, Ithink, as any patient would and
as any patient has experiencedin with clinicians when you're
not being heard, it's veryfrustrating. So I think that
difference would have been Had Iknown that they were listening

(20:20):
and even with theanesthesiologist Had I known she
had heard me, I would have beenslightly calmer still would have
been scared, but slightly calmerthat somebody had heard me and
prepared for the inevitable inmy mind. Well, you know, the
thing is, this goes againstdoctors training, they're taught
to be materialists and to talkto the rationalists and so I

(20:42):
think I think maybe they're theyactually shut down their their
intuition and shut down the factthat you might be having a real
feeling here, but it'll spoileither one of them at least did
hear you. And sowhat ended up happening was is
so I flatline and only for 37seconds, regardless still time,
forever standing still, right.

(21:05):
So I flatline and I ended uphaving an amniotic fluid
embolism, which is a very rareone and 40,000 risk or amniotic
cells get into the mother'sbloodstream. And if you happen
to be allergic to it, your bodygoes into anaphylactic shock.
And in most cases, you don'tmake it. And just to give you
perspective, Northwestern hasbeen in existence for over 30

(21:26):
years at the time of my AFP, myamniotic fluid embolism, they
had had 10, six did not make itthe other three were in
permanent vegetative states. Andso, um, you know, in, in my
case, I predicted a lot of whatwas going to happen, I didn't
have a name for it. But therewas one thing I didn't predict
the or was stocked with extrablood and a crash cart. And, and

(21:51):
those were what ultimately savedmy life. And later, I had asked
what happened and theanesthesiologist said, she was
very uncomfortable as a fellowanesthesiologist having a
consultation with me. And shesaid, You know, I was very
uncomfortable with the fact thatyou had had a baby before it had
a C section before, was speakingso clearly about what was going

(22:13):
to happen and had sought outspecialists to save your life.
And with that one phone call sheunbeknownst to me flagged my
file and incorporated those lifesaving measures. That is 100%
why I'm alive today andfunctioning. So the first that I
mean, ultimately, had I knownand had, she told me she was

(22:34):
going to take it more seriously,I think I would have been a
little calmer going in, I stillwould have been scared out of my
mind. But I think knowingsomebody had heard me. And her
own intuition was what flaggedit. I feel that had I known that
she had hurt me, I probablywould have felt slightly better.

Wow. Yeah, that that had to be. I can imagine
only imagine how frustratingthat must have been. But the
good thing is, someone did hearyou. So you did have this, this
flatline experience at 37seconds. And I guess that was
that was recorded, because it'sa very precise number that you
give

it as well.
You know, when I asked how longthe heart had stopped, you know,
they had said, you know, theanesthesiologist had told me 37
seconds and I'm like, Huh, okay,that's an interesting number.
Right? So, now I see 37everywhere, like in restaurants,
and then it might gate at anairport or something. I'm like,
Okay, I know, everything's gonnabe fine. Like, that's my number
of safety now.

Yeah,

that's interesting how that works.

So you have this this flatline experience and
from my understanding is whenyou could that you went into a
coma, I'm gonna let you tell thestory. But so go ahead and

yeah, so um, you know, so all of this happens
so if you're lucky enough to andif your audience wants to learn
more about what an amnioticfluid embolism as they can go to
AFP support.org. And they canlearn a lot more about all the
details about and how they canget help or a family members who
register but so the first halfof it is cardiac arrests you see

(24:11):
is you you lose your breath goyour everything just shuts down.
If you're lucky to survive thatand 40% are then the next phase
starts which is d IC, which isyour body's inability to clot
blood. I am Oh negative here.
Your normal body has about 20units of blood I was given 60
units of blood and blood productto save my life. And the the the

(24:34):
acronym that anesthesiologistssay use with di c because it
stands for disseminated inter CoOp intravascular intravascular I
see my husband's felson thatthere was a neurological deficit

(24:57):
but probably way before thisBecause I do malapropisms all
the time, he makes fun of mebecause I can't remember certain
things or get things confused,but it they use the term death
is coming. So it is one of themost lethal things one can have
during during a delivery is oneof the leading causes of

(25:18):
maternal death. And, you know,they were prepared. So
ultimately we, I get stabilized.
And Jonathan arrives at theairport, and I, you know, the
doctors to this day say they'revery happy. He was an Air Force
pilot, and he was unemotionalabout things, because when you

(25:40):
have a patient's family memberwho comes in and they're
hysterical, it's very difficultto discuss everything with you.
But for him, he was like,anesthesiologists, and Air Force
pilots definitely work welltogether. So he's like, what's
mortality? morbidity? What do wehave to do to get to the next
stage? Where she right now? Howdo we deal with you know, like,

(26:00):
all of this and so they said,Whatever you do, don't look up
amniotic fluid embolism. Ofcourse, you're going to and all
you see are widower sites,basically, like it's, it's
really bad. And then, and thenhe says to the doctor, he says,
He says, If she needs ahysterectomy, this is the doctor

(26:21):
we met with two months before.
And they took note of it. Theythought it was strange, but they
still took note of it. And theysaid, Well, right now she won't
survive another surgery. Sowe've stabilized her, maybe she
won't need it. So go back to thesick you and the surgical ICU.
And Jonathan is sitting thereand about seven hours later, the
bells and whistles go off. AndI'm still hemorrhaging. So they

(26:44):
call him the doc the guy knockthat I had met with two months
before to perform thehysterectomy. They did the
pathology on the uterus. Andthey see that an accreta head
started to form but somicroscopic and where it was
located was not in a place wherethe MRI had picked it up. And so
basically, all of the visions Ihad prior had come true. My

(27:05):
husband likes to joke and say,yeah, so I'll accept. I knew you
were going to survive. So I wasright to

that. Yeah. All right.

I'll give that one to you.

Yeah, it is interesting, cuz I was thinking
as I was listening to yourstory, earlier, you know, you
are you are writing you arewrong. Because you thought okay,
I you knew that you were goingto die and the baby was going to
live and that clearly didn'thappen. But everything leading
up to that did happen. So itdoes bring up this question of,
you know, freewill versuspredestination? And can we

(27:40):
change our fates? And we knowthat there are psychics that
will tell us certain things aregoing to happen. So what are
your feelings about thosethings?

I know exactly how I feel about this. And I
have this conversation a lotwith my husband. So my husband
says, you know, if you believein predetermination, then your
expiration date is yourexpiration date. I said yes. I
said, but I don't believefreewill and pre destination or
predetermination are on the samepath. I feel like maybe it was
always in my cards. I was goingto survive. But how well I
survived was due to my freewill.

Yeah, you know, and the thing is, we think of it as
a either or, and I'm just tryingto, I think it might be a little
bit of both. I don't know howthat works. But I do know that
people that have had near deathexperiences tell us that time is
an illusion. You know, I wasinterviewing someone just a
little couple a little whileago, and she said, everything is
actually happening at once.
Yeah, that is true. And from ourperspective, we have this we

(28:31):
spread things out in time. Soit's mind blowing to me, but I
you know, and then the thing is,as you said, do we have an
expiration date? Yes, yes. Orno? Or may that we don't, we
don't really know.

I mean, I'm, I'm no expert, and, and God
expiration date,predetermination. All I know is
that this is what happened, Isurvived it. There are many
others who survive not well. Andso if I have the free will, you
know, I have the free will tospeak up. And so I could have

(29:05):
easily just shut up and not saidanything. Now I can't go back
and do an empirical data testand say, Okay, let's do this
again. And I will say anything,and let's see, how will I
survive? Or how, what, how notwill I survive? And but my gut
tells me that me speaking up andhaving the doctors prepared, is

(29:27):
what helped me neurologicallyand helped save me in my organ
functions in a different way,because I didn't lose oxygen for
I don't think I lost oxygen atall. But the reason was, because
they were prepared, but thedoctors have gone on TV and
said, I prepared them. So theywouldn't have prepared. I mean,
I spoke in a medical school,once in the faculty advisor at

(29:49):
University of Chicago said, Youknow, I am not going to prepare
every LR for every histrionic,neurotic, pregnant woman who's
going to say this, I said, I'mnot asking you to What I'm
asking you to do is listen toyour own intuition because you
have it, and so to yourpatients. And so it's just
taking an extra moment andsaying, like I said, the one

(30:09):
thing my doctors were missingwas this was not typical
behavior for this patient. Theyhave known me for years. And so
something was up. And so now inhindsight, they they say, yeah,
you know, in hindsight, therewas the different behavior
because you're not like this.
And that's all. That's allanyone can do is say, okay, we
use your voice. When you sendsomething, say something. What's

(30:32):
the worst that could happen?
You're wrong. Okay. Well, youwill never regret speaking up
and being wrong, but you willregret not speaking up and being
dead, right?

Yeah. Yeah, the lesson I take from from it,
Stephanie, is that we have totrust our intuition. And I think
that's, maybe that's as far aswe need to go. The thing is, I
work with a lot of people whohave parents whose children have
passed away. And a lot of timeswe think, well, I should have
known something, I should havesaid something, I should have
done something. And so a littlebit of my concern is that people

(31:08):
to not want to think we cancontrol everything. And I should
I should have, I should have Ishould have been, so what would
you What would your response tothat be? Yeah, I

mean, I'm starting a podcast called
knowing which is about, youknow, we don't know how we know,
we just do. And, you know, oneof my interviews, he said, You
know, I had these visions thatmy, my wife was going to die
like I had this, you know,during her pregnancy. And it was
just this heaviness. And hecouldn't stop it. Ultimately,

(31:39):
she did. And he said, the dreamprepared me like the vision
prepared me. So your intuitionis there to guide you to be a
compass to help you know, whensomething really right or really
wrong is going to happen,doesn't mean by you inserting
yourself into the narrative,you're going to be able to
change the outcome. You know,maybe in my case, the way that

(32:02):
me speaking up helped save medifferently than what I would
have bought I bought, I wouldhave always survived, but maybe
I would have been in a permanentvegetative state, I don't know.
And I have spoken to people whohave had dreams who have had
intuitive moments that could notstop what was going to happen,
even though they talked aboutthis man talked about it, this

(32:24):
meant talk to the doctors aboutit, but it still was going to
happen. So they say that it justprepared them a little
differently. Because it wasn'tso much of a shock to their
system, when ultimately ithappened. I mean, Dr. Marcin,
Neil talked about it insurviving death, you know how
horrific to know this, and thenfeel relief when he gets to his

(32:47):
18th birthday, then tell himthat, that, you know, you're
holding your breath, and thenfor it to happen. And then she
concludes, and she says it bestwhere she's like, you know, I
realized, now, my survival wasso that I'd be there for my
family. But knowing this aheadof time prepared me. And the

(33:08):
sadness of the loss happened waybefore the actual loss happened.
And you know, that you're thepeople you talk to, and anyone
who loses a child, I mean, thatthat pain, I can't even imagine
being in those footsteps, and Ihaving the intuition that

(33:30):
something is wrong, or that youcould have stopped it, or what
have you is just going to spiralyou down this rabbit hole,
because you can't change thepast. It just makes you acutely
aware, especially knowing thatyou can communicate with them.
And I 100% believe in theafterlife. 100% believe that
there's life after death. Butthe fact that that they had this

(33:55):
experience, and then they canstill connect it at least, you
know, makes it slightly just Idon't even know when people are
going through grief. They haveso many different stages, but
then they can have, you know, afriend of mine, David Kessler
wrote a book called findingmeaning the sixth stage of

(34:16):
grief. And and I think at somepoint, you know, finding meaning
in that helps you with yourmission and helps you grow and
helps you know, exactly in thatway what your soul is supposed
to do with that pain to helpothers.

Yeah. Well, these are very, very deep questions
that I don't think we can reallygrok on this level, I think and
I've wrestled with it. I kind oflike your house. I'm a chemical
engineer. So I'm I'm a verylight analytical want to know
how this thing works. And Ithink some people we I think we
want to know, we want to knowand I think and in your case or

(34:53):
in other cases, because I was Iwas hearing you talk about well,
if you have intuition, thenmaybe you can avoid the
circumstance that would havecaused this We've heard we've
heard about people say, I'm notgoing to get on that plane, and
then the plane crashes or I'mnot going to get the car and go
do this thing a day. But Iinterviewed a woman, Nicky
Allen, who's a psychic medium.
She knew she was going to havean auto accident. And she was
talking to the guy she wasliving with at the time and

(35:15):
said, I'm going to have an autoaccident. He goes what, like
when and where it's just like, Idon't know that. So she couldn't
stay out of a car for the restof her life. And she ended up
having an accident actually thatthat evening. So some things I
think are, I think something'sjust going to happen. And I
think for people, again, thatare already in grief, I just
wanted to, you know, say to themdon't feel guilty, because you

(35:36):
didn't know. Yeah, 100%

you know, and and that's the thing. I mean,
I've had survivor's guilt,because people will, I've told
that they institutions who'veI've spoken to, they're like,
Well, God saved you for areason. I said, Please don't say
that. I said, because what thatdoes that disrespects the woman
who lost her life yesterday toan AFP as and why I'm more
special than they know thatthat's not the way it works. I

(36:01):
don't believe that's the way itworks. I just I think it's the
luck of the draw in this in thiscase. And I, you know, yes, I
spoke up, I believe that thathad an effect on how well I
survived. But, but I don't wantyour audience to feel like they
could have done anythingdifferently to change the course

(36:25):
one, because you're going to beagain, going down that rabbit
hole that is going to just causemuch more pain, because it's
already happened. And to and tobecause because what it will do
is give it a false sense toanybody else out there who is
about to lose somebody close tothem that they can stop whatever

(36:48):
is happening. And yeah, it'sit's just so painful. I can't.
Yeah. Hey, I have a hard timewith that. And yeah,

yeah. Let's just get back to the lessons from
your, from your experience. Ithink there's, I think there are
lessons there for all of us. Oneis obvious, I think, to trust
our intuition. It worked outvery well for you and that
sense? So you had this 37seconds when you when your heart
stopped, and you were actually Iguess in a coma for a while
afterwards, and you were, youknow, very bad shape. So when

(37:22):
you come out, what were yourrecollections of that? 37
seconds,

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back to grief to growth.

So when you come out, what were your
recollections of that? 37seconds?

Zero. So I was on Steve Harvey and Steve's I
did you see the light? And I waslike, Nah, man, they gave him a
lot of drugs, you know, so. Butthat was nine months postpartum.
Right? So I so and the lesson atthat point was about listening
to your intuition. And I reallywanted people to understand

(38:55):
because when I was googling, youknow, Pregnancy foreboding,
nothing existed. I was trying tofind story after story. So that
would help me. And so I wantedmy story to get out there so
that when people were feelingthe same way, they now have a
story to connect the dots toright. So that was a but then,
you know, I had gone to therapy.
I had kidney failure. I had, youknow, I had all these different

(39:16):
departments. every department atthe hospital was like, you know,
how did you know? And I'm like,I don't know, I'm in a teaching
hospital. Why don't you tell me?
And it was really hard. It washard getting back to being a mom
and a wife. And so I would go totherapy and therapists be like,
how can we help you? And I said,you know, you can First tell me

(39:36):
how it is that I saw everythingonce before it happened. They're
like, let's not worry about thatright now. Let's just worry
about getting you out of thetrauma. And I said, Yeah, well,
that's a problem. Because forme, if I get another premonition
I'm going to freak out what ifI, you know, you know, detonate
myself like I have no idea whatwhat's what could happen, but it

(39:58):
could be a false sense ofemptiness. Scared to live. So,
so him. So I ended up seeing aregression therapist who does
hypnotherapy to take you backinto the moments of trauma. And
I didn't have any huge beliefthat this would help. And I did
it over Skype or over videoconferencing. But for whatever

(40:21):
reason, I just felt like, youknow, there was nothing typical
about my story. So why not do anA typical, you know, therapy.
So, she, she talks abouthypnotherapy and how, when
you're in a meditative stateyour memories, you can access
like filmstrips. And they'restored in your mind. And well,

(40:43):
under a meditative state, youcan you can see what's
happening. So, ultimately, Ivideotaped my therapy, if you
couldn't tell I'm quite Taipei.
And so I, you know, I videotapethe therapy. And under hypnosis,
you've seen me actually goingthrough a seizure and
convulsing, going back into theoperating room. And in that
moment, you see me saying, youknow, who had the code who

(41:04):
jumped on my chest to do CPR,what my daughter was doing down
the hall, what my husband waswearing off the plane, when I
was in a coma, that what mymother was doing when she walked
into the room for the firsttime. You know, it was, it was a
lot of download. And, you know,it's, it's, it's so funny,

(41:24):
because when I was writing 37seconds, you know, we submit it
to publishers, and one publishersaid, you know, she didn't die
long enough to make itcompelling.
Which was awesome. I have it inwriting. But I, you know, you
are right, the other peopleyou've interviewed that have had
near death experiences, there isno time and space. So space, all

(41:46):
of a sudden, expanded, therewere no walls, there were no
ceilings there. You know, I saweverything in 3d. And you go
back into those moments as anobserver. So I saw Stephanie on
the operating table, and then Isaw my spirit perpendicular to
my body. And then you startedseeing the EKG machine and
beeping and then up until themoment of flatline, flatline,

(42:08):
you saw a shooting star. Andthen with the, you know, the
shooting star moment, then yousee everything and all the chaos
happening. But then I sawspirits, I saw my grandmother, I
saw my uncle, I saw my my othergrandmother, I saw my aunt, and,
you know, I've done research onpsychologists and what

(42:28):
psychologists are saying, whenpeople are traumatized and say,
you know, well, that's wishfulthinking, right? It's like you
want your loved ones next to youwhen you're traumatized. And I
said, Okay, fine. Let's put apin on the fact that my
relatives were there, cool, noproblem. But it's the ones I
didn't know who had messages forthe ones I do know, back on this
earthly plane. So when I saw mybest friend's little brother who

(42:50):
had passed when he was seven,you know, I knew instantly like
he had told me something. I hadseen how he died. It was a
mystery how he died because hewas seven years old. And he had,
he had choked on his vomit. Andhe had suffocated to that. And
so nobody did an autopsy, hissister was like, I don't know
why they wouldn't do an autopsy.
At seven years old, you can situp, you can, you know, there's

(43:12):
no reason for this. So it wasjust a mystery for the last 30
some odd years, four years. AndI knew I saw his sheets in his
bed, I saw how it happened. Imet my father's husband, my
husband's father, and he hadpassed in 1998, he was wearing a
particular jacket, he had a coinin his hand. I had, and I had

(43:32):
moments like this. And then Iget zapped back in, right.
Because you know, the way that Italk about it is that it's like
an umbilical cord. And so oncethe, once the spirit is severed
from the body, that umbilicalcord cuts off, but then you get
pulled back and you get pulledback in with a force to your

(43:53):
Dunton to your to your innersacred womb. So I get popped
back in. And then, um, and thenI'm like, Okay, so then what
happens, right? So I, so I comeout of this, this one meditative
moment. And I feel better. And Ishow it to Jonathan for two

(44:15):
seconds. And you're like myhusband. So he looks at it. And
it's like, how do you know, thisisn't a recalled episode of
Grey's Anatomy in your head.
After I was done calling him alot of names. I said, I said,
it's a fair point. Right. So youcan mix up thoughts and I had a

(44:37):
lot of trauma, and I was under alot of medications. So I could
have made all this stuff up inmy head. So I called my, the the
therapist and I said, How do youknow what I'm telling you is
true. And she says, sometimesthe only validation we get is
that the patient feels better,and you feel better. And I said,
Well, that's not good enough forme. I have witnesses. So I took

(44:59):
the tapes. Luckily I onvideotape, so I didn't have to
say anything. I took the tapesback to the doctors who were
present. And they all said theysaid, it's accurate to doubt
down to where we were standing,what we're sitting what we're
doing what we were saying. And Isaid, and my anesthesiologist
said, you know, sure, thehearing is probably the last to
go, but you most certainlycouldn't have seen. And plus

(45:20):
your MSC section and youcouldn't see below your neck.
And once all hell broke loose,you know, once we got you
intubated, your eyes were tapedshut, so you couldn't see
everything else working aroundyou. And then I kept saying to
my doctor, I said, Did you saythis can't be happening? This
can't be happening? She said,Yes. But like, under my breath,

(45:41):
far away from me, you wouldn'thave heard that. And it she was
startled by the fact that, youknow, I said, I just felt so
alone, you know, you weretreating the body like a slab of
meat, as opposed to knowing thatI was still there. And nobody
was talking to me. And then Itold Jonathan, that
that my own doctor didn'tdeliver the baby. And he is

(46:02):
like, we talking about she wasthere. I said, No, she was
there. I said, but the guy nonresident who is taking notes,
who rolled her eyes at me andstopped taking notes, when I was
explaining what was going tohappen is that she delivered the
baby. And he was like, yeah, sohe's like, Why would you say
that she was on gynaec rotation?
Why you know, that, that Thatcan't be true. So then we go,
and we meet with the OB, and Isaid, Julie did did? Did you

(46:24):
deliver Jacob? And she said, No.
And I said, to the guy, nonresident, Dr. Field Park,
deliver the baby. And she'slike, well, we're in a teaching
hospital. And she was in theback hallways about 15 minutes
before your procedure. So it'sour job to bring in people, you

(46:44):
know, last minute and have themassist. So yeah, she delivered
the baby. And at that point, Iwas like, like, I've got my
answers, right, I, you know, wehave a spiritual part, you know,
energetic part, quantum physicspart, however, you want to
analyze it in all of the mind,body spirit aspect of it, um,

(47:08):
but, but I have enoughinformation to, to say, okay,
consciousness after the brainshuts down, definitely exists.
And the fact that I keep seeingspirits, and I keep getting
validation, that what I saw fromspirits that I didn't know, was

(47:30):
actually true, you know,confirms that I can see this
too. I was talking with LauraLynn Jackson the other day, who
was also on the Netflix series,and she says, you know,
Stephanie, we all havemediumship ability. So it's
just, you know, some you canmeditate, you get stronger, and
you can actually feel things andyou can, you can, you can build

(47:51):
that and I said, you know, I'mnot so sure that is my calling,
and nor do I want that.
You know, I think differentpeople have different purposes.
I do not think that that's mine.
But But I, but my, my experiencetells me that life just changes
from the solid to a gas and doescontinue to exist. Actually, I

(48:12):
want to jump in and kind ofemphasize some things that you
said. One is, as I listen to youtell your story. I think it's
really interesting that when youcame out of your coma, that you
didn't remember anything. And sosome people will say, Well,
people have flatlined, and theydon't remember anything. And and
you didn't. So I wonder how manypeople might have had

(48:33):
experiences that just don'tremember. So that's, that to me
is it kind of solves maybe as ananswer to why they're only like
20% of people that flatlineremember any experience at all,
because some people will say,well, that means there's no near
death experience, because thisperson flatlined, and they don't
remember anything. So it's ait's a very good point. I mean,
nobody's made that point beforebut that's actually a very

(48:53):
accurate very solid point. Yeah,I Well, that's what I that's one
of the things I took out of it.
And it's interesting that youwent to regression therapy to to
heal the trauma but notnecessarily remember what
happened when you were out?
Because I don't know if you didthat. You know, that was that
was my point was every time Iwould ask a doctor or therapist
how it is. I saw everythingbecause remember, it was

(49:15):
happening in my body. So youmight be the chemical engineer.
My husband might be theeconomist, but the reality is I
needed to know how the mechanismworked as well. It was not it
was not happening to him. And hewas okay with compartmentalizing
that entire aspect of it sayingregressed suppress, let's move
on. Everybody's healthy. Let'skeep going. But for me, I
continued to have visions andpremonitions they were getting

(49:38):
stronger. So I needed tounderstand something How much
time do you have from the timeyou have a vision to the time
something happens and how do Iread it in my body and what is
happening if it comes on theleft shoulder or what happens is
it mirroring effect when you'reseeing I needed to understand
the mechanism so and if I haveThe ability to understand what

(50:00):
happened in those 37 seconds.
Maybe I could see what happenedduring those three months of
those visions because that couldgive me more clarity and
information on futurepremonitions. And then what
happened in the continentmedically induced coma as well.
Like, I was like, Is there a wayto find out? I wasn't, I wasn't
so hopeful because at the end ofthe day, the doctor said, Look,

(50:23):
you know, foreboding does existprior to having it cardiac
arrest or an embolus, or whathave you. It is a characteristic
of that. But they'd say momentsbefore, days before, but not
months before in the detail. Sothey couldn't give me a
scientific explanation. Theyhave theories. I mean, one one,
the guy not told me it's a selffulfilling prophecy. I said, You

(50:44):
mean to tell me that you thinkthat I manifested my organs
combining into a hemorrhagecaused myself to be cut from
stern pelvis, flatline, be putunder general anesthesia. And I
thought of all this in my mind,and that is what did it and he's
like, Well, I didn't say Ibelieved it. It's just the only
thing I come up with. Yeah. AndI said, Well, that's an A whole

(51:05):
thing to say, because at the endof the day, I had gone through
enough guilt where I wasthinking, I manifested this
myself, so. So yeah, I went tothe therapy to try and connect
the dots. And when Steve hadsaid that, I was like, Well, I'm
not afraid to say this the endof the road, there's nothing
there. But if there was a way tofind out, I wanted to find out.

(51:29):
I just was surprised at how muchI found out. Well, there's so
much there's so much in that.
And I'm so glad that you did.
Because there's a couple thingsyou know, people are going to
use a lot of times people wantto dismiss it, as you said,
wishful thinking, you're underdrugs, your brain, the dying
brain in the last gasp,whatever. But when you have what

(51:49):
we call a vertical and the Elike you did, where you can tell
us what was going on there.
Because it's easy to say I sawmy loved one I saw my
grandmother. So my grandfather,we can't verify any of that.
That's subjective, right? Butwhat happened in the room is
objective and you have nophysical a rational way of
knowing this out other thanyour, somehow your consciousness
existing outside of your body.

(52:12):
In addition, you saw thesepeople that you didn't know that
set you back with messages thatyou were able to verify. So
there's so much in there for theskeptic, you know, at the true
skeptic, the one the person, Iwant to examine the evidence,
there's, there's a lot ofevidence here. I live with one,
you know, at the end of the day,if the reality and and he he's,

(52:34):
you know, hearing him say at theend of that segment on Netflix,
that I believe you was such arelief. I mean, I was crying,
and he's like, here I am. I sayI believe you, and then you
throw me under the bus. And Iwas like, I think it was just a
relief of like just a release ofenergy of just wanting to hear

(52:55):
that while I was going throughit. It wasn't that you know, and
I apologize to him because he'slike, because people have
reached out and said, you know,don't be mad at your husband
forgive him. And I'm like, God,first of all the segment was
shot a year and a half ago, saysthat we talked enough about it,
but but you know, yes, they Idon't get attacked by skeptics

(53:16):
the way a lot of people do cuzthey're like, Well, how do you
handle skeptics? I'm like, Iwelcome them. Because there's
not there's nothing to hide mymy case is very well documented
with lots of witnesses, so soplease bring it because anybody,
like I had somebody the otherday email me, um, you manifested
this, right, like, just sent outan email just explaining how I

(53:39):
manifested it and whatever. AndI took the time and I responded,
I'm like, I really would likeyou to explain and send me
evidence, real evidence of othercases where you have seen people
manifest their own flatline orwhatever, please, I'm open to
it. I'm open to your theories,if anybody is more open to it,

(54:01):
so one who's experiencing it, Iwould love to find a scientific
explanation for it because thatmaybe science hasn't caught up
with it yet. Maybe other peopleare experiencing it. What, I'm
open to it, but when you come atme with this, and I respond in a
way that says, Please show methe eminence to it, not just
throw words at a dartboard andthen they don't respond

(54:24):
afterwards. I'm like, What? Youknow, why don't waste my time
like Why? Unless you're going togive me something really
constructive. Like what why whyare you bothering me? Like what
is going on? So um, so yeah, I'mjust like, bring it I think
sometimes people you know, thewhole manifestation and I don't

(54:45):
know how you feel about law ofattraction manifestation so to
believe that but i but at theend of the day, like where I've
been racking my brains ofwhere's the boundary of law of
attraction like, Where is theboundary, and I have come to the
conclusion and especiallydealing
With the doctors and dealingwith people who have expertise
in quantum physics, I'm like,Where do I limit that? Where is

(55:08):
the boundary? Do you believe?
Because I've asked so manypeople that do you believe that
I could do? And they're like,No, I don't believe you could do
that. And I, personally in mygut at the end of the day, that
part is subjective, right? Ibelieve that I cannot manifest
myself to go through all thosephysical transformations because
of it, because of what I thoughtwere where's the limit of

(55:30):
manifestation? I can't tell youwhat do I believe that you law
of attraction? I do, I believewhen I write things down, or
have a vision board or have somethings that are clear in my
head, that that puts energyforth in the inertia moving
forward to attract that. Yeah, Ibelieve that, but I don't know
what led if I write that I wanta private jet. Will that show

(55:53):
up? Yeah. No, I know, if itdoes, I will let you know. And
and that's, that's a good,that's a good dataset.

Yeah, there'll be a great piece of evidence. Yeah, I
think the other thing is theuniverse is complex. And there
are a lot of conscious, youknow, besides just our own
individual consciousness. And soI think we I think we are co
creators of reality. But we arenot, we are not gods in the
sense that we can just imaginethat this is going to happen,
and it happened hasn't workedfor me so far. Anyway. So I
think I'm with you on that. ButI do love the fact that there is

(56:27):
so much evidence in your case,and you do welcome the skeptics
to come on. Because, you know,I'm sure people try to pick
holes in it. I do want to askyou, what your beliefs were, I
know, you had some intuitionbefore. And but now you say with
like, no doubt that there's anafterlife. Yeah. And and I know
that your background is Jewish.
And I know typically, I don'twant to stereotype that

(56:50):
typically, Jews don't talk muchabout the afterlife. It's kind
of a

it's gonna talk about it, but they believe
it. The the the reallyincredible thing is that when I
was writing my book, I called myRabbi and I said, Is there
anything here that's againstJudaism? And, and not because I
was worried about not tellingRichard, I was going to tell it
either way. I just wanted toknow, you know, what, what does
Jewish law What does the lawtalk about? And so he said, No,

(57:17):
okay. He's like, we absolutelybelieve in the afterlife. First
of all, when we talk aboutMushaf, the Messiah, you know,
we talk about the Dead Risingfrom the grave. He's like, but
we also talk about, you know,during Yom Kippur, which is the
Day of Atonement, one of theholiest days of the year, there
is time, there's a time wherethey ask the community,

(57:38):
whoever's in mourning. That in,which is when they're saying
Kaddish, they asked people whoare not in mourning that year
who have not lost a parent orwho have not lost a child to
step out of the room. So youstep out of the room. He's like,
do you know why we do that? AndI said, Yeah, out of respect the
people that are better, they'remourning together. It's a
community. And he's like, thatis not why we do that. The

(58:00):
reason why we do that is becausewe're calling the dead into the
room. And those spirits arepresent when we are praying, and
so you feel this vibrationthere. I said, I learned that in
Hebrew school. I, you know,they're like, well, they don't
really openly talk about it allthat so to talk about Jewish
law, and they talk about, youknow, the relationship to man

(58:22):
and God and man versus man, butthey don't really talk about man
versus spirit. They talk aboutjust a faith in God. And I'm
like, Well, I think it would bemore enlightening to us
spiritual folks out there whoare might not be Orthodox Jews,
and that really understand thereasonings behind certain

(58:44):
things, because one would feelthat we don't believe that there
is life after death. I mean, thereality is, is that when you go
to the rabies burial and theLubavitcher rebbi, who passed
away in 94, I believe he was theblack Hatter with the beard in
the past when you know, in, inBrooklyn, in Crown Heights when

(59:06):
when he died, you know, he washe was running Lubavitch. So he
was the he was the chief rabbi,if you will, when he died.
Hundreds of 1000s of people camepilgrimage to to New York, they
were marching in the streets,they were like, the Messiah has
come he's always said that hewasn't the Messiah. And yet, to

(59:29):
this day, he is buried with hisfather in law and in a cemetery
in Queens, and you go to thecemetery and you write a note
and then you pray. And then youshred the note in this boxed
area where both of them lay andso they're praying to the

(59:51):
spirits for them to hear you.
So, no, I 100% they, theyabsolutely Believe in the
afterlife. It was interesting. Ihad met the rebbi in 91, when I
was directing and producingmusic videos and doing stuff for
the Jewish educationaldocumentaries, and the FBI used
to give dollars to people on heused to give prophecies to them.

(01:00:14):
So basically, he would say,okay, you know, here's the
dollar, he would pray. Andwhenever I wasn't asking for
anything, but he gave me about Iwas 19. At the time, he gave me
$1. And he's like,

Unknown (01:00:27):
he's like,

Stephanie Arnold (01:00:29):
you know, you will have difficulty having
children, but you will havethem. I'm like, I don't care.
I'm like, I'm not interested ingetting married. I'm not
interested in having children.
You know, I tell the OrthodoxJews of my home, well, I spent
the dollar on a coke. Andthey're like, oh, kidding me?
And I'm like, you know, butmeanwhile, the reality is, is he

(01:00:49):
you know, I can't, I can't thinkthat he couldn't see the future.
So there are people that havethese abilities. And, you know,
I go back to I still just wantto know how it works. But I
don't deny that they exist.

Brian Smith (01:01:07):
Yeah, that's really interesting, though. We had a
conversation because I'm one ofmy best friends is Jewish. And
we've been friends for 3540years. And you know, he and I
would have these debates. I wasa Christian at the time. And he
would say, well, we don'tbelieve in the afterlife. And
I'm like, Yes, you do. But Ithink some people even in the
Jewish community, maybe becausethere's not as much emphasis on

(01:01:27):
it, because the emphasis is onthis life, as it is my
impression that Jews are reallyinterested in this life justice
in this life, murky after, liketake care of itself.

Well, what it is, is that you as a Jew are
responsible for doing the workon in this lifetime before you
can join God up in the heavens.
So your your gift is to stayhere and work to helping to
create peace on earth, then youget to, to join the heavens. No,
but But no, they they 100% butand then I think Kabbalah

(01:01:59):
touches on it, the Jewishmysticism aspect of it, because
they do talk about the channelsand the spirits. And a little
bit more from the mystical partof things. But But usually, when
you are prepared to read theZohar, in its true form, and not
like from when the Kabbalahcenters that you're learning on

(01:02:22):
it on a certain level, but whatI have been told is that
orthodox rabbis have to reallyunderstand the Torah back and
forth before they can evenattempt to open the Zohar. To
learn from that, so there'ssupposed to be laws about before
you, before you even attempt tounderstand mysticism you have to
get, you know, Master somethingelse.

So I would ask you, do you now since you've had this
experience, um, how has yourlife changed since then.

So, like I said, on the series, that, you
know, my, my life has changedsignificantly, because I, I
laugh less life is a little bitmore serious divisions that I
get are more about life anddeath, as opposed to, you know,
who's gonna win the lottery, youknow, and I, the work that I'm

(01:03:16):
doing is much more serious. AndI'm connecting to people like
you and to other people aroundthe world on a much deeper
soulful level, which is a tradeoff from where I was before. But
But nevertheless, the work is sofulfilling for me, and I'm

(01:03:37):
passionate about it. So it'skind of taken a first position,
whereas before I was creatingreality shows.
So no, my life is different.
It's, you know, when I hadJonathan write a chapter in my
book, he was just like this Notmy book, and I don't want to

(01:03:58):
write it. And this is not mymission. This is your mission.
And, and I'm like, Well, I,people want to hear from you. I
mean, I was out in a coma. Soyou know, they want to know what
you were doing during this time.
And were you thinking like, Itold you so and how it was, he's
like, no. And I took for grantedthat.

(01:04:19):
I was like, Why can you just doit? Like, I don't understand.
Yeah. And he and later, withmore awareness, I realized that
my husband, it pains him torelive this moment. And I was
out there talking about it, andprobably going into producer

(01:04:41):
mode of saying, okay, no, thishappened for a reason I have
found meaning in it. I'm goingto help others with it. I'm
going to speak about and I'mgoing to talk to doctors, I'm
going to talk to patient andthen I got busy doing and it
became really a passion of mine.
And he's like, Yeah, but that'snot a passion of mine. I want
everything to go away. Likewe're We're good and and, and so
it took a long time for me tounderstand that I think once I

(01:05:05):
understood it. I said to him, Isaid, Okay, got it. I want
unless you want to do something,or you come forward and I asked
you to do something, then andyou want to do it, I just won't
force you to do it. So

yeah, we all we all have different missions, I
think. So I want to ask you now,what is your view on death? Now?
How do you feel about aboutdeath? I know that you know, it
sounds like like, you were like,I don't want to die. That's what
that's the whole thing aboutyour you know, you fight it not
fighting this, but you'refighting for your life. Really?
How do you feel about death now?

Yeah. The whole fight was two pronged one,
I didn't want to go anywhere,obviously, for for many reasons,
you know, you're a family, a newbaby, husband, you love. But the
biggest issue I had with why Iwas racing against a clock
outside of the obvious was thatI needed my husband to believe

(01:06:07):
that life existed after death.
Because if I came back, and Iwas knocking on the door, or I
was present, I didn't want himto feel like that love ended.
Because I did. And I it was verypainful for me to trying to
prevent and, and that's why Ithink the, you know, there's so
much documentation to hiscredit, because I was trying to

(01:06:28):
prove to him more than anyoneelse didn't make a difference
what anyone else thought, thisis the love of my life. I don't
want it I this, this cannot endthis way. Like, you have to
understand this love less beforethis lifetime, this lifetime and
way beyond the next and so. Sothat was that was one part of
this race against the clock.

(01:06:53):
Yeah, I'm not afraid of deathany longer. Like the the moment
of impact was quite peaceful.
You know, people talk abouttheir NDA or their actual death
experience, or clinical deathexperience, something very
peaceful. The part of the actualmoments there is peaceful, it's
just incredibly painful for theones you leave physically
behind. For the ones who haveleft, it is not painful. It's

(01:07:17):
just your life as you knew itceases to exist. But my most
terrifying experiences, were thethree months before it happened.
So I never want to experiencethat, again, that that kind of
knowing that point of impact isgoing to happen. And this time,

(01:07:40):
I won't have you know, I'll justknow when it's going to happen.
And I think that will be moreterrifying than the actual
moment itself.

So what when we I think you said, when we when we
die when our bodies die, that webecome we go from a solid to a
gas or something like that. AndI heard you also say that our
spirits can fly.

Yeah, yeah.
Well, she, you know, one of thethings was, you know, at the end
of my book, we had a friend ofours that you know, was
physically incapable of, ofmove. And my own father died a
year and a half ago, and he hadCOPD, and emphysema, and, you
know, through all of thetraumas, and broken vertebrae is
because of the medication, hecouldn't move. So the idea that,
that I can see spirits indifferent places, your loved

(01:08:29):
ones are around you. And it justtakes calling them or meditating
them into the, the environmentto feel them. And sometimes
you'll have a splash of perfumeor a flower in an odd place that
just reminds you of yourgrandmother or your father or
hear a song that you haven'theard in ages, just in. I mean,

(01:08:49):
I was pulling up to go to acemetery for my housekeeper
unfortunately, passed fromCOVID. And we're driving into
the cemetery for a sociallydistant outside, you know,
funeral. And the song Stairwayto Heaven came on as soon as, as
soon as we hit the driveway intothe cemetery. And Jonathan was

(01:09:14):
the one that pointed that I'mlike, I find that interesting
that he's the one that said saidthat but but the reality is like
there are signs everywhere, wejust tend to, to not believe
them or think it's wishfulthinking and, and I'm just here
to say it's not wishfulthinking. I believe in them.

(01:09:34):
100%

Yeah, and I heard you say that we're we're all
intuitive but I think maybedifferent levels. Would you
agree with that?

I agree with that. But any anytime you see a
dog or a bat or a cat oranything like they have hearing
or senses like they have anextra level of sense sensory
input that we don't have thattoo and I think that we can just
fine tune them by By building upto it, I think I got unplugged.
I went to a systolic, like Italked about when I was a kid, I

(01:10:07):
was on low voltage, and then Iwanted to shut it down. Then I
get unplugged. I go a systolic,and now I'm on high voltage. So
I feel things the only the onlything that bothered me I mean,
Lauren Lynn had talked to meabout like, what you know, you
can be more proficient as amedium if you just meditated and
open up and you can you can havemore out of body experiences. I
said, No, no, I'm good. had oneI, you know, scared me, dad. I'm

(01:10:32):
perfectly fine. Not doing that.
Again. My 15 year old mystepdaughter was like, She's
like, Can you teach me how tomeditate on my body? I'm like,
No, why would you want to dothat? I'm like, there's no
reason to fly. Right now youdon't need you know, like, and
the fascination with it, Iunderstand. But when you've
experienced it through trauma,it's not, it's not an exciting
roller coaster, I don't likeputting myself in, in near death

(01:10:54):
experiences in, in traumatizingupside down roller coasters, or
just to make my stomach dry, Ido not need to challenge myself
this way. And nor do I need toinvite every spirit into my
household because I'm alreadydistracted as it is with
everything else going on. And Ineed at least a little bit of

(01:11:14):
time today to be a mom and awife. Okay, you know, I think
you're spending too much timewith all the work and and you
need to spend more time withyour family. And, and that is a
valid statement, I just, I thinkit would end up taking much more
time if I invite spirits in. Butthey didn't make good tips about
you know, if you start gettingoverwhelmed, I don't know,

(01:11:38):
again, I don't know themechanics, but they're like, you
can say, you know, if if a ghostis scaring your children or
ghosts like presence, and you'rejust didn't invite, then you can
say, you know, you're scaringme, you need to leave. And all
of a sudden, it's quiet. And soI don't know if if that's a you
know, psychological or you'rehearing the words outside. But

(01:11:59):
when something is making noiseand then stops, because you've
addressed it, you know, that issome data like, that continues
to happen. So, so I like to say,you know, if, if somebody is
scaring you, or if you're notready for it, you can say I'm
not ready for it. But when youare ready for it, you can invite
it by saying I would welcomethis, I would welcome this

(01:12:21):
contact, I would well put butshow me a sign that's tangible.
And maybe it'll happen soonerthan later. Wow,

wow. Well, I want to talk about some ways that
people can can get more fromyou. There's the book 37
seconds. And the audio book, Iguess is out fairly new.

Yeah, just came out with a Netflix series.
So and you can go on toStephanie arnold.net slash audio
book, and you can download thefree prologue. And get in touch
that way. My website has adirect email that comes to me, I
try and get back to everybody asas quickly as I can. And you
know, I am, I am conscientiousenough where if I can give you

(01:13:05):
direct advice, a lot of it ismedical, a lot of it is I have
this for boating, I've hadpregnant women who've reached
out and who have asked what todo. And you know, my advice is,
is always the same is just tospeak up and to talk to the
doctors. And if they're notbeing heard, then you talk to
more doctors. And the one thingI learned which I did not know,

(01:13:28):
and this might help others isthat, you know, I did not know
that the anesthesiologists arethe ones that are keeping you
alive in the operating room. AndI always thought that the
quarterback, my doctor was theone that was in charge of
everything. But the reality is,is it's the anesthesiologists,
and they are taught in everyaspect of medicine, especially
during those emergencysituations. So my advice would

(01:13:50):
be that if you're having anykind of foreboding or just
trepidation regarding anysurgery to make a consultation
with Anastasia, because morethan anything else, they are
trained to hear that if there isforeboding present, and not and
they will talk you through it.
But if they if they feel thatforeboding is present, they will
stop everything and they willlisten to you that more than any

(01:14:12):
other physician out there.

Good to know. And then you've got a podcast now
knowing

Yes, we shot the pilot last week, I will you
know, when you sign up or whenyou opt in on the website,
you'll be getting notifications.
That is I am working with theProducer Director of the Netflix
series surviving death RickyStern, so she is my AP on the
podcast. Hello. And we arelooking at stories of people

(01:14:41):
who've had knowings like youdon't know how you know you just
do. And so stories from likeveterans who have had their
spidey sense and thoseexperiences to pregnancy stories
to you know People have hadstories that one was married to

(01:15:01):
a serial killer, and you knowhow she got out of it using her
own intuition. And, you know,what I want people to take away
from that is that it reallydoesn't matter. If you think
that your intuition, your sixthsense is coming from, you know,
a spiritual place or ascientific place. My point is
that the more that we tell thesestories, the more people can't

(01:15:24):
deny that it exists. So and themore that our stories are
shared, the more the medicalcommunity can say, Oh, well, you
know, I'm hearing more and moreabout this, and people will take
it more seriously. And justbecause the six cents doesn't
fit into the other five senseshardly means it doesn't exist.
So when you're when you'relooking at that, and how, how

(01:15:47):
I'm getting approached by allthese different stories, I'm
like, these stories need to betold. So it goes beyond me. And,
you know, I think this is thisis the start of the mission of,
you know, opening up speaking upwhen you send something as wrong
at every level, because like Isaid, What's the worst that

(01:16:08):
could happen? they judge you,okay? Everybody judges, your
Instagram feed doesn't reallymatter. And, and speaking of
Instagram, people can reach meon Instagram, as well as at
Steph Arnold 37. So that's, youknow, and Facebook and all the
typical places, people can findme.

Yeah, well, I love what you said, when you were
talking, you were skimming theshow notes about your podcast,
you said you we don't know howwe know. But we do. And I think,
you know, I again, I'm ascientific person. But science
has to, first of all, observe aphenomenon to believe it exists
before they can study it. Andwe're just getting to the point
where science is being open andsay, let's maybe this is a real

(01:16:48):
thing, you know, I know they'relooking at papers are coming out
now about people who have neardeath experiences, at least how
do we treat these people who'vehad instead of just shoving down
the rug and saying it's not, youknow, it's not a real thing. So
your work is actually reallyprompting people to say, let's
take a look at this. And wedon't need to know how it works
right now. That'd be fine. I'dlove to know how it works. But

(01:17:10):
we don't need to know that.
Yeah, Agreed.

Agreed. And I'm also going to take a
metaphysical and a scientificlook at each story. Because
because either way, any whichway. There are theories, like
even in my own story, and yourstory and all of your guest
stories. There are theories. Butnot everything defines it. 100%
So, so there's always a hole ineach theory. And so, you know,

(01:17:33):
my husband likes to say he givesme the Sherlock Holmes quote,
which I love. You know, once youeliminate the impossible, no
matter how improbable, must bethe truth. And so he, he's
perfectly fine. Not going downthis rabbit hole. He says, You
know, I don't even know who toask anymore. And, you know, I
just accept, you can see things.
But I don't need to know how yousee them. And he's like, I don't

(01:17:59):
understand your need to want toknow how it is. But but I get
you, you need to know he's like,I don't think you'll ever in
your lifetime. Know how itworks.

That's really interesting that he the
rationalist is saying I'm okaywith believing and not knowing
how it works. And you're tryingto figure out how it works.

It I swear, this is what this is where my
second book is coming frombecause I feel like we shifted
positions. Like my first book,it was very spiritual, like,
Okay, this is exactly what it isand, and I'm trying to prove to
him that it exists.

Unknown (01:18:34):
Then he's like,

I accept it.
Now. I'm like, wait, it keepshappening. I need to know how it
works. And he's like, I don'tneed to know how it works. I
just accept it. And I'm like,this is all messed up. I'm like,
this is just completely flipped.

Yeah, that's what we're here for. We're here to
learn and grow. So that's,that's another interesting thing
that's come out of this. Yeah,definitely. Thanks so much for
being my guest today. And thankyou for your time. I know you're
really busy with a lot ofdifferent projects and stuff and
the kids. And so I reallyappreciate you being here.

Thank you so much. Thanks for having me. And
if there's anything I can do,please don't hesitate to call.
We're connected now.

All right, great.
Have a great rest of your day.

Unknown (01:19:13):
Hey, you too.
My.

That's it for another episode of grief to
growth. I sure hope you gotsomething out of it. Please stay
in contact with me by reachingout at www grief to growth.com
that's grief the number twogrowth.com or you can text the
word growth 231996. That'ssimply text growth gr o w t h

(01:19:36):
231996. So if you're watchingthis on YouTube, please make
sure you subscribe. So hit thesubscribe button. And then hit
the little bell here. And it'llnotify you when I have new
content. Always please share theinformation if you enjoy it.
That helps me to get more viewsand to get the message out to
more people. Thanks a lot andhave a wonderful day.

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I KNEW I WOULD DIE: Stephanie Arnold’s SHOCKING Premonition and Miraculous Survival

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