Grief vs. Grieving: Why the Difference Matters

We often use the words grief and grieving interchangeably—but did you know they’re not quite the same?

In this thoughtful solo episode of Grief and Light, host Nina Rodriguez invites listeners into a powerful reframe: grief is the natural response to loss, but grieving is how we live with and in relation to our grief. With tenderness and clarity, Nina explores how understanding the distinction between these two terms can transform our experience with loss—softening unrealistic expectations, reducing pressure to "move on," and opening up a path toward self-compassion and emotional expansion.

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Drawing from her personal experiences and professional grief support work, Nina illustrates how grief is a universal, often involuntary response—raw, physical, and immediate—while grieving is a dynamic and deeply personal relationship with what’s missing. She emphasizes that grieving is not something to get over but something we tend to, like a garden or a living relationship, over time.

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This episode is a balm for anyone who’s ever asked themselves, “Why am I still like this?” and offers a more empowering, spacious question instead: “What kind of care do I need today?”

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Key Takeaways:

• Grief is the event—the natural response to loss and life-altering change.
• Grieving is the process—our evolving relationship with that loss over time.
• There is no timeline for grieving and no single "right" way to do it.
• Cultural, familial, and societal influences shape how we perceive grief.
• Grieving is a practice in patience and self-compassion, not perfection.
• Honoring your own process means also allowing others to move at their pace.
• The metaphor of the grief jar illustrates how our capacity expands—not that the grief shrinks.
• Tending to grief honestly is what brings meaning, integration, and even unexpected joy.

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