April 29, 2024 • 38 mins
When an ordinary Uber ride with Ricky Vallerga blossoms into a divine appointment, it's a gentle reminder that life is full of unexpected connections that can deeply touch our souls. Join me, Angelic Gibson, as I recount this serendipitous meeting that leads us into a reflective conversation about God's intricate work in our lives. Our exchange serves as a powerful illustration of how every interaction holds the potential to impact our journeys, weaving in the truth that sometimes strangers are placed in our path for a purpose far greater than we could imagine.
Life's challenges often leave scars that we carry into adulthood, and it's within the vulnerability of sharing these experiences that true healing can begin. Ricky's story unveils the cathartic power of counseling and community support. This episode is not just a narrative of personal resilience but also an invitation for listeners to embrace the courage it takes to seek help and the transformative journey that follows. Discover how the complexities of forgiveness can lead to profound healing, as we discuss the importance of facing our pain and the growth that comes from such bravery.
Like Ricky, may your path be lit bright as you find your purpose and peace.
Here is the link to check out Ricky's brand to follow on Instagram:
Instagram: Grit Clothing USA
Website: https://www.gritclothingusa.com
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:02):
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Grow where
God reveals our way.
I'm Angelique Gibson, your host, and I can't wait to explore
the vast riches of God's wordwith you.
So don't forget to subscribeand stay tuned for upcoming
episodes packed with biblicalteachings, inspirational stories
and a fresh perspective on theworld around us.
Now let's get started on thisbeautiful journey.
(00:24):
May God bless you abundantly.
Hello, it's so wonderful to bewith you today.
I am so excited to just bringyou this very special guest on
today's Grow podcast.
God works in very mysteriousways.
(00:45):
I had the privilege of goingout to Colorado Springs in
Colorado, in February of thisyear.
I actually went out there for aconference, a victory
conference, on February 22nd2024.
And I had the privilege ofmeeting the gentleman you're
(01:07):
going to hear about today.
And you know, when I thinkabout how I met him, which
you're going to learn about in aminute, I just think about how
God is always at work.
He's always at work around us.
If we would just stop, pauseand see what he's doing right
before our eyes, it can be inthe most unexpected
(01:30):
opportunities where he literallywill connect his children
together.
And that is the story of me andmy special guest today.
It also reminds me of ascripture that I love so much,
and I'm going to read it to you.
It says Let brotherly lovecontinue.
Do not forget to entertainstrangers, for by doing so, some
(01:53):
have unwittingly entertainedangels.
Well, he may not be a spiritualfigure of an angel, but he is
certainly an angel from the Lord, and this is what has happened.
So, as I told you, I was out inColorado Springs going to a
conference to praise the Lordand just learn more about what
(02:15):
he's going to do in and throughour country for 2024.
It's a big year for our nation,and so I really wanted to be
under the teaching and theworship at this conference, and
it compelled me so much that itput me on an airplane from
Charlotte to Colorado, and itwas just an incredible
(02:36):
experience.
That will be for a laterepisode, but today I am going to
bring you, my dear friend,ricky Valerga, onto the show.
We're just going to have anincredible conversation.
So, ricky, say hello, and thenI'm going to tell people how I
met you, and I would also likeyou to tell your side of how we
(02:56):
met Ricky.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Perfect.
Thank you, angelique.
Hello everyone, nice to, Iguess, meet you all or hear from
you guys, so it's been great.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yes, and so we met.
You know we were.
My daughter came with me out toColorado for this conference,
and we were staying at a hotel,probably I don't know five to
seven minutes from the churchthat the conference was being
hosted at.
So what did we do?
I mean, we didn't run a car, wecertainly weren't going to walk
, and so in today's world, youcall an Uber and that's what we
(03:31):
did we phoned a friend and wegot Ricky.
Ricky was our Uber driver,right Ricky.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yes, that is correct, and that was a great ride, for
sure.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yes, and so the Lord just started opening.
Do you remember he startedopening the door to our
conversation?
Do you remember how ourconversation started?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
just felt I was like man, how do I even start this
conversation?
And so I guess my firstquestion was just are you guys
going to church or do you workthere?
And then I found out that therewas a huge conference from you
guys, and then the conversationjust continued to flow and was
so good.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yes, and my daughter and I in that short cab ride.
We got to learn so much aboutRicky.
We got to hear what the Lord isdoing in and through his life.
God is so sovereign.
You're going to hear about thatand if we just slow down and
just start to have conversation,god really reminded me.
Typically, when I get an Uber,I start asking how long have you
(04:42):
been driving Uber?
How many times have you heardthat, ricky?
Uh, many times many times whatbrought you to Colorado?
Da, da, da, like you start togo through your typical
questions that you go with anyperson you don't really know.
But the important thing that,when I read that scripture just
a moment ago from Hebrews uh 13,one and two, is that you never
(05:03):
know who God is putting in yourpresence a stranger because he
actually wants a deeperconnection.
And that's what God has donethrough a short little Uber ride
here.
And so literally theconversation in 10 minutes just
blossomed and we got to hear theheart of Ricky and what God has
done some amazing thingsthrough some challenges, just
(05:24):
totally blessed my daughter andme to hear his testimony.
And then we got to do.
One of the coolest things is wegot to close in prayer and just
bless each other before wehopped out of the car ride.
And then we also obviouslyexchanged contact information
because we needed to reconnect,stay connected and do the show
together.
(05:44):
So, ricky, I've said a lot, butI'm so grateful that God put us
together.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I'm excited for the future Me too.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
We're going to stay connected and I want to get into
you because that's why we'rehaving this conversation.
So let's just start off withtell me a little bit about who
you are from God's perspective.
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
And just where did Ricky come from?
Yeah, so I'm a child of God, ofcourse, and royalty, as it
states in the Bible.
But where did I come from?
I grew up in the Bay Area withmy parents and my little brother
and, honestly, life was prettygreat for me, like I had a
(06:28):
really good childhood Up untilthe age of nine I had to deal
with some sexual assault thathappened to me and then just
really throughout middle schooland high school, throughout
middle school and high schoolright just had various types of
bullying that would happen to meas well and I really I really
(06:50):
didn't.
If you were to see me in thattime period, I wasn't really
phased by it, wasn't like, oh mygosh, ricky looks distraught.
I I honestly probably lookedperfectly fine on the outside
and on the inside as well.
I didn't really deal with it, Iguess you could say, until I
(07:10):
went off to college, getting adegree in psychology really just
went deep into my life andreally forced me, in a sense, to
really look back on my life andsee everything that happened
and that was just tough and Ireally I really questioned the
(07:32):
idea of living multiple timesand I could say that that was
where I probably was the mostdistant with God, still believed
in him, was the most distantwith God, still believed in him.
But as far as having arelationship, it was probably
(07:54):
more so of me trying to get abenefit package without doing
any work, and it was just tough.
And I really did question theidea of living.
And I just told God one day youknow what, I know what?
Like I've gone through too muchpain, I'm not doing anything in
my life.
What's the point?
And I remember God, I attemptedto try and design my life and I
(08:15):
remember God said nope, I havesome better things for you.
Did I necessarily believe inthat moment?
Not necessarily.
But then stepping into marriageand, of course, uh, my beautiful
bride just being so kind, um,you know, I still had a lot of
(08:36):
tough things, uh, that a lot ofbaggage that I brought into
early months of marriage andmy's, like you, got to go see a
counselor and I did, and it washard, it was really hard.
And so, for those of you outthere that maybe feel like
you're not sure if life is worthit, it's totally worth it.
(09:00):
You're gonna have to put in somehard work, though, for sure,
but from where I was at to whereI'm now man, I'm so grateful
for it and my counselor justwalking through with me.
I picked the Christian counselor, of course, because I wanted
the truth of the word, but alsosomeone who was going to stand
(09:21):
beside me and push me as well.
And so I'd say, you know, forthose of you that are
questioning the idea ofcounseling, step out and step
out and take a leap of faith andreally find a counselor who's
going to push you and believe inyou and find a community as
well that will encourage you aswell, because in those dark days
(09:45):
, like for me, when I reallydidn't know if I was going to,
when I was starting to believethe lies of the enemy and not
the truth of what God has calledme to be and what I am to him,
have a strong community offamily and friends that will
know what God has called you tobe and who God sees you for, and
(10:07):
will push you in that sense andnot side with you with the lies
of the enemy.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Amen, you know a couple of things just kind of
click in there.
I just want to thank you forjust being so courageous.
You know, it's one thing tokind of share a bit of yourself,
uh, to one person or two people, one-on-one, like you did in a
cab ride with my daughter andmyself or I should say Uber ride
(10:33):
, not cab, sorry, ricky.
Um but to to share it openly tothe public, like you're doing
right now.
It's incredibly brave and weknow the abuse that you
mentioned that you had to livethrough as a child.
That is not something that'ssmall or trivial.
Obviously, we know the traumathat can is a result of that,
(10:56):
and so just your bravery to talkabout it, to help another you
know it's very much said Godsays what's in the dark, bring
to the light.
You know it's very much saidGod says what's in the dark,
bring to the light.
And he does that.
So healing can be healing foryou, continued healing.
Because I do believe that someof these soul wounds that we
have as humans and some godeeper than others can take an
(11:17):
entire lifetime to fully heal.
So I don't know that there'sever a day where we just wake up
in life and say yeah.
So I don't know that there'sever a day where we just wake up
in life and say yeah, I'm ahundred percent.
But the courage to face thehurt, face the pain, the trauma,
and to just see what God can dothrough the bowels of the
suffering is incrediblycourageous.
So I just want to just affirmyou and the power of your
(11:40):
testimony and just your strengthto have the courage to get help
.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Oh well, thank you, I , I appreciate it.
Uh, I needed the help for sure.
Uh, that that was definitelywhere I was at.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
So give, give our listeners just a time period
reference point.
So when you went to college,you you were living in the Bay
area.
How did you, um, like what didyou go from the Bay Area to
Colorado?
How did you get there?
When did you meet your wife?
Just kind of fill in some ofthose blanks for us so we can
put a picture together.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, so me and my wife actually met at a church
near the Bay Area and servedwith special needs children
together.
And then, when I went tocollege, I went to college in
Southern California Forreference, it's right by Long
Beach.
It was not Long BeachUniversity, but it was right by
(12:38):
Long Beach and then, after once2020 hit and the pandemic hit
pretty much around the UnitedStates, especially California,
they just sent out an emailsaying, hey, if you have a place
to go rather than the dorms,you got to go.
(12:59):
And so I remember it was in themiddle of the week and so I
remember it was in the middle ofthe week I took my bags from
Southern California back toNorthern California, stayed
there for like a year yeah,about a year Me and my wife.
Now we got engaged in 2020.
(13:20):
And then, in 2021, me, my wife,my father and mother-in-law all
made the decision to move toColorado because my two
sister-in-laws had already beenliving there.
We made the poor decision tomove in December, and California
doesn't get cold, but Colorado,in December, gets very cold.
(13:42):
So we were like, what did we do?
But, yes, so that's how Ieventually made my way to
Colorado.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Awesome.
Thanks for sharing that.
And when did you get married?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
We got married in October of 2021.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Awesome, okay, so you're coming up on three years
this year.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yes, yes, that's excellent Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
So what were some of the things that you'd be open to
sharing, like some of thebehaviors that you were
exhibiting?
That really was the I would say, the pushing point to say you
know what?
I do need to seek lovingcounsel, as you described.
You described your counselor.
What were some of thosebehaviors that started to come
(14:28):
up?
If you will that you said youknow what.
I can't ignore this anymore.
I need to get some help.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah for sure.
So more so me.
You could say hearing only whatI wanted to hear.
You could say hearing only whatI wanted to hear.
So if I was in a negativeheadspace and if my wife was
saying something encouraging,but she was pointing out my
behavior, I would only hear thepart of oh see, she's only
(14:58):
pointing out my behavior, butnot the encouraging things.
I would just disregard that.
I would also overreact.
I guess you could say I was.
I didn't know how to handletriggers.
So if something happened, evenif it wasn't to me, but if
(15:18):
something close to my heart, man, I would just blow up.
It wasn't like, it wasn't asense of, you know, being mad
and like cursing, but I just hadthis emotion of just anger and
it just it just spewed off of melike people knew like oh, don't
(15:40):
talk to Ricky right now, he'snot happy.
And yeah, just only thinking ofhow I wanted to think of
situations holding things deepbecause I suppressed before I
suppressed all sexual assault,the bullying, all of it.
(16:01):
For gosh, I think.
Oh, man, maybe about 22 yearswow of just pure suppressed,
like you weren't.
I would let you get close, butyou weren't gonna get super
close, um, and so then I justremember you, my wife and I were
(16:23):
talking and it was something sosmall and I just I just like
broke down and just kind of lostit and she just told me she was
like she's like this is notgoing to be healthy for our
marriage and you need to seekhelp.
So it wasn't so really to evenanswer your question.
(16:45):
It wasn't really me that waslike I need to go seek
counseling.
I was kind of just put in aposition of like, hey, if I want
to see my marriage last and Iwant to be with my best friend
forever, I need to go seekcounseling and I need to do this
for her.
But down the road, of course, Isaw just how beneficial it was
(17:08):
for me and how much I reallydidn't need it.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
You know, and that's just so important.
You know, God is so sovereignthat he puts people in our life.
He sees every hurt, every,every sin that has been done to
us.
He sees the consequence of thepain that it can cause the
person who's being harmed.
And he's so sovereign to bringpeople of healing into our path
(17:34):
that we can love and we cantrust.
And we may start a processkicking and screaming, but man,
god, is also faithful to blessour faithfulness in the journey
and so I just love that.
Your story is evidence of that.
So how did you start to seeyour heart change towards what
(17:58):
I'm hearing is a renewing of themind and a renewing of the
heart.
And God says do not conform tothe ways of the world, but
forever be transformed by therenewing of your mind so you can
know the good and perfect willof the Lord, romans 12.
And people say that scripture alot.
But to actually go through theprocess when you're facing
(18:19):
something like you're facing,like, wow, how did you start to
see it and what did that looklike?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah.
So I think it was more maturereactions to make sense, or I
wouldn't sorry a more, moremature response, not a reaction,
because when I was immature anddidn't know how to handle my
business, you could say I wasreacting.
(18:47):
I was just reacting, and so ifI was in a negative headspace,
of course I would react in anegative way.
But.
But after seeking counselingand after continually doing the
homework and finding ways on man, how can I be a better Ricky?
How can I, how can I be abetter friend to my community?
(19:08):
But how can I also be a betterhusband, a better son in law,
all these things?
And to me it really came downto a response how, when, when
I'm in a negative headspace, howam I going to respond?
Am I just going to blow upagain and say you know what all
(19:28):
the hard work I did, let's justtoss it out the window and start
over?
Or am I going to continuallyremind myself hey, look, how far
you have come, let's not justscrew this up again.
And of course, you're going tohave moments like I'm not
perfect, far from it, and so Iunderstand.
(19:51):
For myself, there's going to besome days where it's like all
right, today wasn't the best day.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
But it's not consistent fruit.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Absolutely, absolutely.
It is not consistent fruit.
And so I think that's for meand just finding hope and
purpose in my life too, becausebefore I didn't have that I just
had.
I just looked at my trauma andjust said I'm not worthy of
anything good.
But now I see my life and it'slike no, all the trauma and hard
(20:24):
times that I've gone through.
Man, I can be a vessel ofencouragement and hope to
someone else.
So why not strive for that?
And so that's how I reallystarted to change my mind.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I love that.
So I just want to reinforce acouple of things that you said
that I absolutely love.
How can I be a better Ricky,how can I be a better Angelique,
how can I be a better husband?
And then I just say, how can Ibe a better wife, mother, father
, like fill in the blank, it'sso good If we can be humble.
(21:00):
God says that the humble willbe exalted, the exalted will be
humbled.
So if we can just put ourselvesin check, so start the renewal
process, the renewing of themind, through just asking the
simple question how can I bebetter, how can I be the best
version of myself?
I think that is such aphenomenal question that we all
(21:22):
need to continually be curiousabout, especially in the day and
age that we're in, when youknow, much of what we see out on
any media forum can lend itselftowards me, me, me, me, me and
the other person is at fault.
And there's a lot of divisionright now in, specifically, our
(21:42):
country and the world right atlarge.
Uh, so the problem with thedivision is the division is
saying the other person, theother people, group, the other,
whatever is the problem, asopposed to there's only one
person, who is not the problem,and that's Jesus Christ.
(22:02):
So we all have room in our lifeto say what in me needs to
change so I can be the betterversion of who God created me to
be.
So again, absolutely phenomenal.
What is one of your anchorverses that you have found
through your journey that youjust look to and you just get
(22:25):
life from it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
One of my anchor verses, I would say.
I was actually talking to mycounselor about this.
It's probably about a year anda half ago and it really just
stuck with me, but it's Genesis50, 20, and it's the story of
Joseph.
So, if you don't know, josephwas betrayed by his brothers and
Joseph just went through awhole lot of hard times.
(22:51):
But when he finally sees hisbrothers, he says what you
intended for evil, god intendedfor good and the saving of many
lives.
And no, I'm not Joseph, none ofus are.
But I just think when we lookat the enemy and when we look at
Jesus, the enemy intendsnothing but evil things for us.
(23:15):
Oh, you're depressed Good, keepon being depressed.
Oh, you're suffering Good, keepon doing this.
But God has such a beautifulplan to it and something so good
behind it.
And if we just change ourperspective to that where we
know God is a loving Father andhe is going to be someone who is
always by our side, always hasour back, then we know in
(23:40):
confidence that the pain andtrials that we're going through
are intended for good.
Whether it's encouragingsomeone, whether it's reminding
ourselves of how faithful andhow good he is, whatever it may
be, there is something goodbehind it.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I love that.
So Joseph is one of my favorite.
Well, I say that about everyperson in the Bible, but so he's
one of my favorite people inthe Bible, and it's in Genesis
where you find that.
And so when you're hearingJoseph's testimony, what you
meant for evil, God meant it forgood.
There's that view of how Josephsaw God, the Father which he
(24:21):
just loved God and he trustedGod, and he literally
experienced God.
Take what had been some of themost traumatic things in
Joseph's life.
I mean, he was imprisoned, hewas captured, he was imprisoned
as a slave.
He really went through theringer.
He was actually.
His brothers cast him out to bedead and his father, jacob,
(24:46):
just grieved over the loss ofJoseph.
So, listeners, if you haven'tread that in Genesis, just go
put your eyes on it, let itmarinate in your heart, just the
tragedy that Joseph had to walkthrough.
And for him, then, whathappened is it took that trial,
it took that tribulation thatJoseph had to walk through to
(25:07):
get to the destiny where Godcalled him.
So he had to go through thatvalley to get to the destiny,
and the destiny was that hesaved an entire nation from
famine and he was promoted tothe second most powerful person
in the nation.
And so, again, to go to yourdestiny.
(25:27):
It's not this perfect path.
You go through hardships in thevalley and you know the enemy
is trying to block you, becausethe enemy knows what the fruit
is going to be for the Lord andhe tries to block it.
And so you got this realization, though, that Joseph knew
better and that he was set apartfor a great purpose, just like
(25:48):
you, ricky.
You're set apart for a greatpurpose because there's so many
people who share your testimonyand who share your pain and we
have silenced it as a culturefor so long and you see it just
bubbling up everywhere and yourbravery to talk about it.
You're going to create pathwaysfor other people to have
healing and even protectingchildren.
(26:10):
That's a whole nother anglethat we're not going to get to
today, but what needs to happento start protecting our children
?
There's so much work we need todo, because what happened to
you is not okay, and it's.
We need to now be ready toprotect the next generation.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
The other thing that Joseph did that I think is so
incredibly important is that helooked on his brothers with
immediate forgiveness.
He was so heartbroken over theloss of time and connection with
them.
He wasn't caught up in what theydid.
He was anxious to get therelationships restored.
(26:49):
And so there's this level offorgiveness that had to be in
his heart.
Just tell us a little bit aboutthat too, because part of
renewing the mind is, yes,coming from a position of how do
I be the better version ofmyself, but then also knowing
how much hurt you had to walkthrough.
There's a reality that part ofhealing has to come from a place
(27:13):
of forgiveness to those thathurt you.
reality, that part of healinghas to come from a place of
forgiveness to those that hurtyou.
So what did that look like foryou?
Or does, because it's acontinual process, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Yeah it, it's a challenging.
It's a challenging spot forsure.
I tell people that the specialencounters I get to have, or
interactions, they'll ask aboutforgiveness and I say, man, when
you go through counseling,forgiveness is like you're, is
like the last boss or you'rejust right there, and it's one
of those things where you gottatell yourself all right, we
could move on to this journeyand like, just forgive people,
(27:55):
or we're going to have to startall the way back or take five
steps back.
And so, for me, I reallypondered and questioned the idea
of, like God, what, what isforgiveness?
Because a poor example would beyou have two siblings fighting
and then mom comes into play andsays okay, you guys just need
(28:17):
to forgive each other and hug itout and say sorry.
It's like are you really like,did you really forgive, you know
?
And so, for me, I reallywrestled with the idea of like
man, what does forgiveness looklike?
And so, for me, I think it's,when anyone mentions forgiveness
, a name.
So I know, of course, theperson who sexually assaulted me
(28:43):
, the names of my bullies, andso, for me, I really asked the
question God man, when someoneeven says their name, even if
it's not them, let's just sayit's someone else who has the
same name as them, even if it'snot them, let's just say it's
someone else who has the samename as them.
(29:03):
Let my heart be still.
I don't want my heart to startbeating more or having anger.
And I think that's what it is,because if, if I walk around
right and even if I neverencounter or see them again, but
someone shares the same name,and they say and I'm still angry
or I'm still bitter, someoneshares the same name and they
say and I'm still angry or I'mstill bitter, then I haven't
(29:24):
forgiven them and one thing Itold myself was uh, I know for
the trauma I went through.
There are already plenty ofpeople that are probably against
that person or wishing ill willtowards them, and so why, of
course, having my own clothingbrand and all these things?
Why would I want to be the sameas that when I could be
(29:51):
different and actually say youknow what, lord, I hope they
find you and I hope they findpeace and I hope they find just
a relationship with you and Ihope that they're able to
forgive themselves to an extentand just move on.
And so for me that's whatforgiveness looks like, because,
(30:12):
like I said, I may neverencounter again.
But if I just have thoughts andI'm angry or so, then the
question begs to ask did Ireally forgive them?
And that's something that Ijust I don't want to deal with
necessarily.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
That's so powerful, ricky, and you know you shared
another one of your anchorverses with me and I think it is
a true demonstration of livingit out.
The way that you're walking inforgiveness is.
It's the epitomization of thisverse.
Can you share the second verse?
That is just meaningful to you.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Yeah, so Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, which is trust in
the Lord with all your heart.
Do not lean on your ownunderstanding.
Seek his will in every way andhe will show you which path to
take.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Amen yeah.
I'm telling you listeners Iknow you're out there putting an
exclamation point on that,because I am.
It is just so powerful, ricky.
And you know it's so funnybecause you just mentioned that
you have a clothing line and Ido that.
you have a clothing line andeveryone.
I just want you to know thatthis is called God creating
(31:26):
beauty from ashes, Because whenyou take the hurt and the pain
that Ricky has walked throughand he stops and he pauses, with
partnership of the Lord and inhis community, with his bride at
his right hand, and he iscourageous enough to take steps
towards healing, God createsbeauty from ashes.
And so, Ricky, tell us aboutthis clothing line that you have
(31:48):
and in the show notes and onsocial media we're going to have
, how do you find this clothingline?
But let us hear about theamazing business that you have
birthed from what you've walkedthrough.
It's incredible.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Thank you.
Yeah, so I created a clothingline called GRIT G-R-I-T
Clothing USA, and what it'sabout is it's really for
everyone and it's just remindingyou that you matter, your story
matters and that you've gotwhat it takes to get through the
day.
It might be the hardest dayever, but if you're resilient
(32:30):
and you have grit, then kudos toyou.
And what I realized, likeAngelique said, from just my
trauma going through those hardtimes I really did want to give
up on life and I did have peoplenext to me, but I didn't really
share with them.
(32:50):
And so, for Great Clothing USA,our hope is that we create a
social media page that is justabout hope and encouragement,
but also creating clothing thatreminds you, like I said, that
you matter, you've got what ittakes, because I think there's
just something so powerful thatserves as a constant reminder
(33:14):
that you just weren't put onthis planet for nothing.
You have, you have a purpose inlife, and, whether you believe
in god or not, I can assure youthat you have a purpose.
You're not just a waste ofbreath.
So don't believe that lie that,oh, I'm just a waste of breath
(33:35):
or something.
You are not.
You, you have value, you arespecial.
There is only one of you.
There's not two.
There's only one of you, andyou've got something that this
world needs.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Amen, Gosh, I'm getting my clothing.
Seriously, there's nothingbetter to wear clothes that have
meaning.
And God says that we're.
We are to put his truth on thedoorposts of our house, on our
foreheads, on our wrists, likeliterally clothe ourself.
Literally clothe ourself in histruth.
(34:09):
And he calls us to havestrength and grit and to know
who we are, that our lifematters, that we have a unique
purpose set apart to bring himglory.
And when we bring him glory,what that means is that we are
letting the world know of hislove.
It is not this.
You know, the Lord wants allthe glory and he's, you know,
egotistical.
(34:29):
It's no, he loves his people somuch and he wants them to work
to walk in freedom and truth andlove.
And when that happens, theglory of his love radiates and
it delights his heart so muchbecause he loves us so much.
So I just again, I just commendyou for going after it and
creating this beautiful clothingline.
And it's fun, it's trendy, it'ship.
(34:51):
I love it, I checked it out andI'm getting clothes from it.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yeah.
So we all need some Got tosupport you, and so I just ask
all of our listeners to go checkit out again.
How to find it will be in theshow notes here and on social
media, but definitely checkRicky and his workout.
Ricky, what are some closingthoughts that you have for our
listeners?
Speaker 2 (35:16):
I would.
My main closing thought I wouldjust say is there is hope for
you.
If you feel like you are justin a hole right now, do not
believe that that is the end foryou.
You are in a hole, you haven'teven reached the surface yet,
and so just know that you matter.
(35:39):
Your life matters, whateverhardships you might be going
through, that's not the end foryou.
Matter of fact, that's probablyjust the beginning of something
so beautiful.
I know, for me, when I wasgoing through my hardships, I
really did think it was the end.
Through my hardships, I reallydid think it was the end, but,
(36:04):
being on the other side of it, Ican promise you that dividends
will pay and your story of howyou got through it will be such
an encouragement to so many.
So just know there's only oneof you, you're special, you're
valuable.
There's only one of you.
(36:24):
You're special, you're valuableand your life matters and
there's hope for you and there'sa purpose for you on this earth
, so don't ever forget that.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
amen.
Well said, ricky, I'm going toclose this out in prayer and, uh
, then, uh, we'll go about ourday here.
So, heavenly father, we justlove you and we thank you for
this time that you have givenRicky and myself, and we thank
you for that Uber ride, and itwas just such a divine
connection.
I just thank you for Ricky'scourage to speak your truth and
(36:49):
to walk boldly in your ways andto really just walk the path of
healing and forgiveness.
Lord, many are called, but onlya few are chosen.
And, lord, I just thank youthat he has just chosen to walk
your path.
Lord, I thank you that you weregoing to bless his just his
mind and his heart and the workof his hands, and that his grit
(37:10):
clothing USA is just going to goto millions across the globe,
lord and all, to serve yourkingdom and your purposes, for
your glory.
Just let the love of Christshine bright in all that he does
.
And, lord, I just thank you forall the listeners out there.
Lord, I thank you that, as wejust go about our day, that you
put a hedge of protection aroundeach listener, that if anything
(37:34):
was said today that juststirred up their heart stirred
up, their heart pain was stirredup or any anything that could
have just, you know, really, um,just created some reminders of
just some hard spots in life.
Lord, I thank you that yourjust Holy spirit just be salve
(37:54):
to their heart and just coverthem and let your peace just be
settled deep into their heart.
And, lord, I just thank youthat you're surrounding them in
community people to help themcontinue on the pathway with you
for continued healing, as weall need it.
Lord, we love you.
We do this for your glory andfor your love to spread.
In the name of Jesus, we prayAmen.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Okay, thanks, ricky, have a nice day.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Thank you, you too.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Thank you for joining us on this episode of Grow
where God reveals our way.
We hope you found inspiration,wisdom and encouragement as we
continue on this faith-filledjourney together.
We invite you to subscribe toGrow so you never miss an
episode.
Stay tuned for more biblicalteachings, heartfelt testimonies
and insights that will nourishyour spirit and deepen your
relationship with God.
(38:40):
We appreciate your support andparticipation in this podcast.
Until next time, may you growin faith, love and knowledge of
his divine plan.
May God bless you abundantly.
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Grow where
God reveals our way.
I'm Angelique Gibson, your host, and I can't wait to explore
the vast riches of God's wordwith you.
So don't forget to subscribeand stay tuned for upcoming
episodes packed with biblicalteachings, inspirational stories
and a fresh perspective on theworld around us.
Now let's get started on thisbeautiful journey.
(00:24):
May God bless you abundantly.
Hello, it's so wonderful to bewith you today.
I am so excited to just bringyou this very special guest on
today's Grow podcast.
God works in very mysteriousways.
(00:45):
I had the privilege of goingout to Colorado Springs in
Colorado, in February of thisyear.
I actually went out there for aconference, a victory
conference, on February 22nd2024.
And I had the privilege ofmeeting the gentleman you're
(01:07):
going to hear about today.
And you know, when I thinkabout how I met him, which
you're going to learn about in aminute, I just think about how
God is always at work.
He's always at work around us.
If we would just stop, pauseand see what he's doing right
before our eyes, it can be inthe most unexpected
(01:30):
opportunities where he literallywill connect his children
together.
And that is the story of me andmy special guest today.
It also reminds me of ascripture that I love so much,
and I'm going to read it to you.
It says Let brotherly lovecontinue.
Do not forget to entertainstrangers, for by doing so, some
(01:53):
have unwittingly entertainedangels.
Well, he may not be a spiritualfigure of an angel, but he is
certainly an angel from the Lord, and this is what has happened.
So, as I told you, I was out inColorado Springs going to a
conference to praise the Lordand just learn more about what
(02:15):
he's going to do in and throughour country for 2024.
It's a big year for our nation,and so I really wanted to be
under the teaching and theworship at this conference, and
it compelled me so much that itput me on an airplane from
Charlotte to Colorado, and itwas just an incredible
(02:36):
experience.
That will be for a laterepisode, but today I am going to
bring you, my dear friend,ricky Valerga, onto the show.
We're just going to have anincredible conversation.
So, ricky, say hello, and thenI'm going to tell people how I
met you, and I would also likeyou to tell your side of how we
(02:56):
met Ricky.
Speaker 2 (02:58):
Perfect.
Thank you, angelique.
Hello everyone, nice to, Iguess, meet you all or hear from
you guys, so it's been great.
Speaker 1 (03:07):
Yes, and so we met.
You know we were.
My daughter came with me out toColorado for this conference,
and we were staying at a hotel,probably I don't know five to
seven minutes from the churchthat the conference was being
hosted at.
So what did we do?
I mean, we didn't run a car, wecertainly weren't going to walk
, and so in today's world, youcall an Uber and that's what we
(03:31):
did we phoned a friend and wegot Ricky.
Ricky was our Uber driver,right Ricky.
Speaker 2 (03:36):
Yes, that is correct, and that was a great ride, for
sure.
Speaker 1 (03:40):
Yes, and so the Lord just started opening.
Do you remember he startedopening the door to our
conversation?
Do you remember how ourconversation started?
Speaker 2 (04:07):
just felt I was like man, how do I even start this
conversation?
And so I guess my firstquestion was just are you guys
going to church or do you workthere?
And then I found out that therewas a huge conference from you
guys, and then the conversationjust continued to flow and was
so good.
Speaker 1 (04:22):
Yes, and my daughter and I in that short cab ride.
We got to learn so much aboutRicky.
We got to hear what the Lord isdoing in and through his life.
God is so sovereign.
You're going to hear about thatand if we just slow down and
just start to have conversation,god really reminded me.
Typically, when I get an Uber,I start asking how long have you
(04:42):
been driving Uber?
How many times have you heardthat, ricky?
Uh, many times many times whatbrought you to Colorado?
Da, da, da, like you start togo through your typical
questions that you go with anyperson you don't really know.
But the important thing that,when I read that scripture just
a moment ago from Hebrews uh 13,one and two, is that you never
(05:03):
know who God is putting in yourpresence a stranger because he
actually wants a deeperconnection.
And that's what God has donethrough a short little Uber ride
here.
And so literally theconversation in 10 minutes just
blossomed and we got to hear theheart of Ricky and what God has
done some amazing thingsthrough some challenges, just
(05:24):
totally blessed my daughter andme to hear his testimony.
And then we got to do.
One of the coolest things is wegot to close in prayer and just
bless each other before wehopped out of the car ride.
And then we also obviouslyexchanged contact information
because we needed to reconnect,stay connected and do the show
together.
(05:44):
So, ricky, I've said a lot, butI'm so grateful that God put us
together.
Speaker 2 (05:49):
I'm excited for the future Me too.
Speaker 1 (05:51):
We're going to stay connected and I want to get into
you because that's why we'rehaving this conversation.
So let's just start off withtell me a little bit about who
you are from God's perspective.
Who are you?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
And just where did Ricky come from?
Yeah, so I'm a child of God, ofcourse, and royalty, as it
states in the Bible.
But where did I come from?
I grew up in the Bay Area withmy parents and my little brother
and, honestly, life was prettygreat for me, like I had a
(06:28):
really good childhood Up untilthe age of nine I had to deal
with some sexual assault thathappened to me and then just
really throughout middle schooland high school, throughout
middle school and high schoolright just had various types of
bullying that would happen to meas well and I really I really
(06:50):
didn't.
If you were to see me in thattime period, I wasn't really
phased by it, wasn't like, oh mygosh, ricky looks distraught.
I I honestly probably lookedperfectly fine on the outside
and on the inside as well.
I didn't really deal with it, Iguess you could say, until I
(07:10):
went off to college, getting adegree in psychology really just
went deep into my life andreally forced me, in a sense, to
really look back on my life andsee everything that happened
and that was just tough and Ireally I really questioned the
(07:32):
idea of living multiple timesand I could say that that was
where I probably was the mostdistant with God, still believed
in him, was the most distantwith God, still believed in him.
But as far as having arelationship, it was probably
(07:54):
more so of me trying to get abenefit package without doing
any work, and it was just tough.
And I really did question theidea of living.
And I just told God one day youknow what, I know what?
Like I've gone through too muchpain, I'm not doing anything in
my life.
What's the point?
And I remember God, I attemptedto try and design my life and I
(08:15):
remember God said nope, I havesome better things for you.
Did I necessarily believe inthat moment?
Not necessarily.
But then stepping into marriageand, of course, uh, my beautiful
bride just being so kind, um,you know, I still had a lot of
(08:36):
tough things, uh, that a lot ofbaggage that I brought into
early months of marriage andmy's, like you, got to go see a
counselor and I did, and it washard, it was really hard.
And so, for those of you outthere that maybe feel like
you're not sure if life is worthit, it's totally worth it.
(09:00):
You're gonna have to put in somehard work, though, for sure,
but from where I was at to whereI'm now man, I'm so grateful
for it and my counselor justwalking through with me.
I picked the Christian counselor, of course, because I wanted
the truth of the word, but alsosomeone who was going to stand
(09:21):
beside me and push me as well.
And so I'd say, you know, forthose of you that are
questioning the idea ofcounseling, step out and step
out and take a leap of faith andreally find a counselor who's
going to push you and believe inyou and find a community as
well that will encourage you aswell, because in those dark days
(09:45):
, like for me, when I reallydidn't know if I was going to,
when I was starting to believethe lies of the enemy and not
the truth of what God has calledme to be and what I am to him,
have a strong community offamily and friends that will
know what God has called you tobe and who God sees you for, and
(10:07):
will push you in that sense andnot side with you with the lies
of the enemy.
Speaker 1 (10:13):
Amen, you know a couple of things just kind of
click in there.
I just want to thank you forjust being so courageous.
You know, it's one thing tokind of share a bit of yourself,
uh, to one person or two people, one-on-one, like you did in a
cab ride with my daughter andmyself or I should say Uber ride
(10:33):
, not cab, sorry, ricky.
Um but to to share it openly tothe public, like you're doing
right now.
It's incredibly brave and weknow the abuse that you
mentioned that you had to livethrough as a child.
That is not something that'ssmall or trivial.
Obviously, we know the traumathat can is a result of that,
(10:56):
and so just your bravery to talkabout it, to help another you
know it's very much said Godsays what's in the dark, bring
to the light.
You know it's very much saidGod says what's in the dark,
bring to the light.
And he does that.
So healing can be healing foryou, continued healing.
Because I do believe that someof these soul wounds that we
have as humans and some godeeper than others can take an
(11:17):
entire lifetime to fully heal.
So I don't know that there'sever a day where we just wake up
in life and say yeah.
So I don't know that there'sever a day where we just wake up
in life and say yeah, I'm ahundred percent.
But the courage to face thehurt, face the pain, the trauma,
and to just see what God can dothrough the bowels of the
suffering is incrediblycourageous.
So I just want to just affirmyou and the power of your
(11:40):
testimony and just your strengthto have the courage to get help
.
Speaker 2 (11:45):
Oh well, thank you, I , I appreciate it.
Uh, I needed the help for sure.
Uh, that that was definitelywhere I was at.
Speaker 1 (11:54):
So give, give our listeners just a time period
reference point.
So when you went to college,you you were living in the Bay
area.
How did you, um, like what didyou go from the Bay Area to
Colorado?
How did you get there?
When did you meet your wife?
Just kind of fill in some ofthose blanks for us so we can
put a picture together.
Speaker 2 (12:15):
Yeah, so me and my wife actually met at a church
near the Bay Area and servedwith special needs children
together.
And then, when I went tocollege, I went to college in
Southern California Forreference, it's right by Long
Beach.
It was not Long BeachUniversity, but it was right by
(12:38):
Long Beach and then, after once2020 hit and the pandemic hit
pretty much around the UnitedStates, especially California,
they just sent out an emailsaying, hey, if you have a place
to go rather than the dorms,you got to go.
(12:59):
And so I remember it was in themiddle of the week and so I
remember it was in the middle ofthe week I took my bags from
Southern California back toNorthern California, stayed
there for like a year yeah,about a year Me and my wife.
Now we got engaged in 2020.
(13:20):
And then, in 2021, me, my wife,my father and mother-in-law all
made the decision to move toColorado because my two
sister-in-laws had already beenliving there.
We made the poor decision tomove in December, and California
doesn't get cold, but Colorado,in December, gets very cold.
(13:42):
So we were like, what did we do?
But, yes, so that's how Ieventually made my way to
Colorado.
Speaker 1 (13:53):
Awesome.
Thanks for sharing that.
And when did you get married?
Speaker 2 (13:57):
We got married in October of 2021.
Speaker 1 (14:01):
Awesome, okay, so you're coming up on three years
this year.
Speaker 2 (14:04):
Yes, yes, that's excellent Okay.
Speaker 1 (14:08):
So what were some of the things that you'd be open to
sharing, like some of thebehaviors that you were
exhibiting?
That really was the I would say, the pushing point to say you
know what?
I do need to seek lovingcounsel, as you described.
You described your counselor.
What were some of thosebehaviors that started to come
(14:28):
up?
If you will that you said youknow what.
I can't ignore this anymore.
I need to get some help.
Speaker 2 (14:34):
Yeah for sure.
So more so me.
You could say hearing only whatI wanted to hear.
You could say hearing only whatI wanted to hear.
So if I was in a negativeheadspace and if my wife was
saying something encouraging,but she was pointing out my
behavior, I would only hear thepart of oh see, she's only
(14:58):
pointing out my behavior, butnot the encouraging things.
I would just disregard that.
I would also overreact.
I guess you could say I was.
I didn't know how to handletriggers.
So if something happened, evenif it wasn't to me, but if
(15:18):
something close to my heart, man, I would just blow up.
It wasn't like, it wasn't asense of, you know, being mad
and like cursing, but I just hadthis emotion of just anger and
it just it just spewed off of melike people knew like oh, don't
(15:40):
talk to Ricky right now, he'snot happy.
And yeah, just only thinking ofhow I wanted to think of
situations holding things deepbecause I suppressed before I
suppressed all sexual assault,the bullying, all of it.
(16:01):
For gosh, I think.
Oh, man, maybe about 22 yearswow of just pure suppressed,
like you weren't.
I would let you get close, butyou weren't gonna get super
close, um, and so then I justremember you, my wife and I were
(16:23):
talking and it was something sosmall and I just I just like
broke down and just kind of lostit and she just told me she was
like she's like this is notgoing to be healthy for our
marriage and you need to seekhelp.
So it wasn't so really to evenanswer your question.
(16:45):
It wasn't really me that waslike I need to go seek
counseling.
I was kind of just put in aposition of like, hey, if I want
to see my marriage last and Iwant to be with my best friend
forever, I need to go seekcounseling and I need to do this
for her.
But down the road, of course, Isaw just how beneficial it was
(17:08):
for me and how much I reallydidn't need it.
Speaker 1 (17:11):
You know, and that's just so important.
You know, God is so sovereignthat he puts people in our life.
He sees every hurt, every,every sin that has been done to
us.
He sees the consequence of thepain that it can cause the
person who's being harmed.
And he's so sovereign to bringpeople of healing into our path
(17:34):
that we can love and we cantrust.
And we may start a processkicking and screaming, but man,
god, is also faithful to blessour faithfulness in the journey
and so I just love that.
Your story is evidence of that.
So how did you start to seeyour heart change towards what
(17:58):
I'm hearing is a renewing of themind and a renewing of the
heart.
And God says do not conform tothe ways of the world, but
forever be transformed by therenewing of your mind so you can
know the good and perfect willof the Lord, romans 12.
And people say that scripture alot.
But to actually go through theprocess when you're facing
(18:19):
something like you're facing,like, wow, how did you start to
see it and what did that looklike?
Speaker 2 (18:26):
Yeah.
So I think it was more maturereactions to make sense, or I
wouldn't sorry a more, moremature response, not a reaction,
because when I was immature anddidn't know how to handle my
business, you could say I wasreacting.
(18:47):
I was just reacting, and so ifI was in a negative headspace,
of course I would react in anegative way.
But.
But after seeking counselingand after continually doing the
homework and finding ways on man, how can I be a better Ricky?
How can I, how can I be abetter friend to my community?
(19:08):
But how can I also be a betterhusband, a better son in law,
all these things?
And to me it really came downto a response how, when, when
I'm in a negative headspace, howam I going to respond?
Am I just going to blow upagain and say you know what all
(19:28):
the hard work I did, let's justtoss it out the window and start
over?
Or am I going to continuallyremind myself hey, look, how far
you have come, let's not justscrew this up again.
And of course, you're going tohave moments like I'm not
perfect, far from it, and so Iunderstand.
(19:51):
For myself, there's going to besome days where it's like all
right, today wasn't the best day.
Speaker 1 (19:56):
But it's not consistent fruit.
Speaker 2 (19:58):
Absolutely, absolutely.
It is not consistent fruit.
And so I think that's for meand just finding hope and
purpose in my life too, becausebefore I didn't have that I just
had.
I just looked at my trauma andjust said I'm not worthy of
anything good.
But now I see my life and it'slike no, all the trauma and hard
(20:24):
times that I've gone through.
Man, I can be a vessel ofencouragement and hope to
someone else.
So why not strive for that?
And so that's how I reallystarted to change my mind.
Speaker 1 (20:39):
I love that.
So I just want to reinforce acouple of things that you said
that I absolutely love.
How can I be a better Ricky,how can I be a better Angelique,
how can I be a better husband?
And then I just say, how can Ibe a better wife, mother, father
, like fill in the blank, it'sso good If we can be humble.
(21:00):
God says that the humble willbe exalted, the exalted will be
humbled.
So if we can just put ourselvesin check, so start the renewal
process, the renewing of themind, through just asking the
simple question how can I bebetter, how can I be the best
version of myself?
I think that is such aphenomenal question that we all
(21:22):
need to continually be curiousabout, especially in the day and
age that we're in, when youknow, much of what we see out on
any media forum can lend itselftowards me, me, me, me, me and
the other person is at fault.
And there's a lot of divisionright now in, specifically, our
(21:42):
country and the world right atlarge.
Uh, so the problem with thedivision is the division is
saying the other person, theother people, group, the other,
whatever is the problem, asopposed to there's only one
person, who is not the problem,and that's Jesus Christ.
(22:02):
So we all have room in our lifeto say what in me needs to
change so I can be the betterversion of who God created me to
be.
So again, absolutely phenomenal.
What is one of your anchorverses that you have found
through your journey that youjust look to and you just get
(22:25):
life from it.
Speaker 2 (22:28):
One of my anchor verses, I would say.
I was actually talking to mycounselor about this.
It's probably about a year anda half ago and it really just
stuck with me, but it's Genesis50, 20, and it's the story of
Joseph.
So, if you don't know, josephwas betrayed by his brothers and
Joseph just went through awhole lot of hard times.
(22:51):
But when he finally sees hisbrothers, he says what you
intended for evil, god intendedfor good and the saving of many
lives.
And no, I'm not Joseph, none ofus are.
But I just think when we lookat the enemy and when we look at
Jesus, the enemy intendsnothing but evil things for us.
(23:15):
Oh, you're depressed Good, keepon being depressed.
Oh, you're suffering Good, keepon doing this.
But God has such a beautifulplan to it and something so good
behind it.
And if we just change ourperspective to that where we
know God is a loving Father andhe is going to be someone who is
always by our side, always hasour back, then we know in
(23:40):
confidence that the pain andtrials that we're going through
are intended for good.
Whether it's encouragingsomeone, whether it's reminding
ourselves of how faithful andhow good he is, whatever it may
be, there is something goodbehind it.
Speaker 1 (23:57):
I love that.
So Joseph is one of my favorite.
Well, I say that about everyperson in the Bible, but so he's
one of my favorite people inthe Bible, and it's in Genesis
where you find that.
And so when you're hearingJoseph's testimony, what you
meant for evil, God meant it forgood.
There's that view of how Josephsaw God, the Father which he
(24:21):
just loved God and he trustedGod, and he literally
experienced God.
Take what had been some of themost traumatic things in
Joseph's life.
I mean, he was imprisoned, hewas captured, he was imprisoned
as a slave.
He really went through theringer.
He was actually.
His brothers cast him out to bedead and his father, jacob,
(24:46):
just grieved over the loss ofJoseph.
So, listeners, if you haven'tread that in Genesis, just go
put your eyes on it, let itmarinate in your heart, just the
tragedy that Joseph had to walkthrough.
And for him, then, whathappened is it took that trial,
it took that tribulation thatJoseph had to walk through to
(25:07):
get to the destiny where Godcalled him.
So he had to go through thatvalley to get to the destiny,
and the destiny was that hesaved an entire nation from
famine and he was promoted tothe second most powerful person
in the nation.
And so, again, to go to yourdestiny.
(25:27):
It's not this perfect path.
You go through hardships in thevalley and you know the enemy
is trying to block you, becausethe enemy knows what the fruit
is going to be for the Lord andhe tries to block it.
And so you got this realization, though, that Joseph knew
better and that he was set apartfor a great purpose, just like
(25:48):
you, ricky.
You're set apart for a greatpurpose because there's so many
people who share your testimonyand who share your pain and we
have silenced it as a culturefor so long and you see it just
bubbling up everywhere and yourbravery to talk about it.
You're going to create pathwaysfor other people to have
healing and even protectingchildren.
(26:10):
That's a whole nother anglethat we're not going to get to
today, but what needs to happento start protecting our children
?
There's so much work we need todo, because what happened to
you is not okay, and it's.
We need to now be ready toprotect the next generation.
Speaker 2 (26:26):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:26):
The other thing that Joseph did that I think is so
incredibly important is that helooked on his brothers with
immediate forgiveness.
He was so heartbroken over theloss of time and connection with
them.
He wasn't caught up in what theydid.
He was anxious to get therelationships restored.
(26:49):
And so there's this level offorgiveness that had to be in
his heart.
Just tell us a little bit aboutthat too, because part of
renewing the mind is, yes,coming from a position of how do
I be the better version ofmyself, but then also knowing
how much hurt you had to walkthrough.
There's a reality that part ofhealing has to come from a place
(27:13):
of forgiveness to those thathurt you.
reality, that part of healinghas to come from a place of
forgiveness to those that hurtyou.
So what did that look like foryou?
Or does, because it's acontinual process, I'm sure.
Speaker 2 (27:31):
Yeah it, it's a challenging.
It's a challenging spot forsure.
I tell people that the specialencounters I get to have, or
interactions, they'll ask aboutforgiveness and I say, man, when
you go through counseling,forgiveness is like you're, is
like the last boss or you'rejust right there, and it's one
of those things where you gottatell yourself all right, we
could move on to this journeyand like, just forgive people,
(27:55):
or we're going to have to startall the way back or take five
steps back.
And so, for me, I reallypondered and questioned the idea
of, like God, what, what isforgiveness?
Because a poor example would beyou have two siblings fighting
and then mom comes into play andsays okay, you guys just need
(28:17):
to forgive each other and hug itout and say sorry.
It's like are you really like,did you really forgive, you know
?
And so, for me, I reallywrestled with the idea of like
man, what does forgiveness looklike?
And so, for me, I think it's,when anyone mentions forgiveness
, a name.
So I know, of course, theperson who sexually assaulted me
(28:43):
, the names of my bullies, andso, for me, I really asked the
question God man, when someoneeven says their name, even if
it's not them, let's just sayit's someone else who has the
same name as them, even if it'snot them, let's just say it's
someone else who has the samename as them.
(29:03):
Let my heart be still.
I don't want my heart to startbeating more or having anger.
And I think that's what it is,because if, if I walk around
right and even if I neverencounter or see them again, but
someone shares the same name,and they say and I'm still angry
or I'm still bitter, someoneshares the same name and they
say and I'm still angry or I'mstill bitter, then I haven't
(29:24):
forgiven them and one thing Itold myself was uh, I know for
the trauma I went through.
There are already plenty ofpeople that are probably against
that person or wishing ill willtowards them, and so why, of
course, having my own clothingbrand and all these things?
Why would I want to be the sameas that when I could be
(29:51):
different and actually say youknow what, lord, I hope they
find you and I hope they findpeace and I hope they find just
a relationship with you and Ihope that they're able to
forgive themselves to an extentand just move on.
And so for me that's whatforgiveness looks like, because,
(30:12):
like I said, I may neverencounter again.
But if I just have thoughts andI'm angry or so, then the
question begs to ask did Ireally forgive them?
And that's something that Ijust I don't want to deal with
necessarily.
Speaker 1 (30:31):
That's so powerful, ricky, and you know you shared
another one of your anchorverses with me and I think it is
a true demonstration of livingit out.
The way that you're walking inforgiveness is.
It's the epitomization of thisverse.
Can you share the second verse?
That is just meaningful to you.
Speaker 2 (30:52):
Yeah, so Proverbs 3, 5 through 6, which is trust in
the Lord with all your heart.
Do not lean on your ownunderstanding.
Seek his will in every way andhe will show you which path to
take.
Speaker 1 (31:04):
Amen yeah.
I'm telling you listeners Iknow you're out there putting an
exclamation point on that,because I am.
It is just so powerful, ricky.
And you know it's so funnybecause you just mentioned that
you have a clothing line and Ido that.
you have a clothing line andeveryone.
I just want you to know thatthis is called God creating
(31:26):
beauty from ashes, Because whenyou take the hurt and the pain
that Ricky has walked throughand he stops and he pauses, with
partnership of the Lord and inhis community, with his bride at
his right hand, and he iscourageous enough to take steps
towards healing, God createsbeauty from ashes.
And so, Ricky, tell us aboutthis clothing line that you have
(31:48):
and in the show notes and onsocial media we're going to have
, how do you find this clothingline?
But let us hear about theamazing business that you have
birthed from what you've walkedthrough.
It's incredible.
Speaker 2 (32:05):
Thank you.
Yeah, so I created a clothingline called GRIT G-R-I-T
Clothing USA, and what it'sabout is it's really for
everyone and it's just remindingyou that you matter, your story
matters and that you've gotwhat it takes to get through the
day.
It might be the hardest dayever, but if you're resilient
(32:30):
and you have grit, then kudos toyou.
And what I realized, likeAngelique said, from just my
trauma going through those hardtimes I really did want to give
up on life and I did have peoplenext to me, but I didn't really
share with them.
(32:50):
And so, for Great Clothing USA,our hope is that we create a
social media page that is justabout hope and encouragement,
but also creating clothing thatreminds you, like I said, that
you matter, you've got what ittakes, because I think there's
just something so powerful thatserves as a constant reminder
(33:14):
that you just weren't put onthis planet for nothing.
You have, you have a purpose inlife, and, whether you believe
in god or not, I can assure youthat you have a purpose.
You're not just a waste ofbreath.
So don't believe that lie that,oh, I'm just a waste of breath
(33:35):
or something.
You are not.
You, you have value, you arespecial.
There is only one of you.
There's not two.
There's only one of you, andyou've got something that this
world needs.
Speaker 1 (33:49):
Amen, Gosh, I'm getting my clothing.
Seriously, there's nothingbetter to wear clothes that have
meaning.
And God says that we're.
We are to put his truth on thedoorposts of our house, on our
foreheads, on our wrists, likeliterally clothe ourself.
Literally clothe ourself in histruth.
(34:09):
And he calls us to havestrength and grit and to know
who we are, that our lifematters, that we have a unique
purpose set apart to bring himglory.
And when we bring him glory,what that means is that we are
letting the world know of hislove.
It is not this.
You know, the Lord wants allthe glory and he's, you know,
egotistical.
(34:29):
It's no, he loves his people somuch and he wants them to work
to walk in freedom and truth andlove.
And when that happens, theglory of his love radiates and
it delights his heart so muchbecause he loves us so much.
So I just again, I just commendyou for going after it and
creating this beautiful clothingline.
And it's fun, it's trendy, it'ship.
(34:51):
I love it, I checked it out andI'm getting clothes from it.
Speaker 2 (34:55):
Thank you.
Speaker 1 (34:55):
Yeah.
So we all need some Got tosupport you, and so I just ask
all of our listeners to go checkit out again.
How to find it will be in theshow notes here and on social
media, but definitely checkRicky and his workout.
Ricky, what are some closingthoughts that you have for our
listeners?
Speaker 2 (35:16):
I would.
My main closing thought I wouldjust say is there is hope for
you.
If you feel like you are justin a hole right now, do not
believe that that is the end foryou.
You are in a hole, you haven'teven reached the surface yet,
and so just know that you matter.
(35:39):
Your life matters, whateverhardships you might be going
through, that's not the end foryou.
Matter of fact, that's probablyjust the beginning of something
so beautiful.
I know, for me, when I wasgoing through my hardships, I
really did think it was the end.
Through my hardships, I reallydid think it was the end, but,
(36:04):
being on the other side of it, Ican promise you that dividends
will pay and your story of howyou got through it will be such
an encouragement to so many.
So just know there's only oneof you, you're special, you're
valuable.
There's only one of you.
(36:24):
You're special, you're valuableand your life matters and
there's hope for you and there'sa purpose for you on this earth
, so don't ever forget that.
Speaker 1 (36:29):
amen.
Well said, ricky, I'm going toclose this out in prayer and, uh
, then, uh, we'll go about ourday here.
So, heavenly father, we justlove you and we thank you for
this time that you have givenRicky and myself, and we thank
you for that Uber ride, and itwas just such a divine
connection.
I just thank you for Ricky'scourage to speak your truth and
(36:49):
to walk boldly in your ways andto really just walk the path of
healing and forgiveness.
Lord, many are called, but onlya few are chosen.
And, lord, I just thank youthat he has just chosen to walk
your path.
Lord, I thank you that you weregoing to bless his just his
mind and his heart and the workof his hands, and that his grit
(37:10):
clothing USA is just going to goto millions across the globe,
lord and all, to serve yourkingdom and your purposes, for
your glory.
Just let the love of Christshine bright in all that he does
.
And, lord, I just thank you forall the listeners out there.
Lord, I thank you that, as wejust go about our day, that you
put a hedge of protection aroundeach listener, that if anything
(37:34):
was said today that juststirred up their heart stirred
up, their heart pain was stirredup or any anything that could
have just, you know, really, um,just created some reminders of
just some hard spots in life.
Lord, I thank you that yourjust Holy spirit just be salve
(37:54):
to their heart and just coverthem and let your peace just be
settled deep into their heart.
And, lord, I just thank youthat you're surrounding them in
community people to help themcontinue on the pathway with you
for continued healing, as weall need it.
Lord, we love you.
We do this for your glory andfor your love to spread.
In the name of Jesus, we prayAmen.
Speaker 2 (38:14):
Amen.
Speaker 1 (38:15):
Okay, thanks, ricky, have a nice day.
Speaker 2 (38:17):
Thank you, you too.
Speaker 1 (38:20):
Thank you for joining us on this episode of Grow
where God reveals our way.
We hope you found inspiration,wisdom and encouragement as we
continue on this faith-filledjourney together.
We invite you to subscribe toGrow so you never miss an
episode.
Stay tuned for more biblicalteachings, heartfelt testimonies
and insights that will nourishyour spirit and deepen your
relationship with God.
(38:40):
We appreciate your support andparticipation in this podcast.
Until next time, may you growin faith, love and knowledge of
his divine plan.
May God bless you abundantly.
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