June 10, 2024 • 50 mins
Embark on an adventure as I, Angelic Gibson, sit down with Nicole Jansen, a beacon of inspiration in the realm of faith and entrepreneurship. Together, we traverse Nicole's remarkable path from her family business beginnings to her impactful role as a coach and podcast host. Her story illustrates the profound influence of divine purpose in shaping our professional journeys and the significance of harnessing our God-given talents to not only elevate our lives but also to illuminate the lives of those we serve.
Confronting the complexities of love and commitment, Nicole lays bare her heart, recounting her journey through marriage. Our conversation candidly addresses the challenges that arise when life doesn't align with our expectations and the power of faith in navigating the uncharted waters of a relationship that demands more than we anticipated. This episode is a raw and insightful look into the depths of dedication, the resilience required to evolve beyond old patterns, and the courage to embrace true commitment.
As we conclude, we celebrate the redemptive qualities of forgiveness and the blossoming of a rekindled marriage rooted in common spiritual beliefs. The episode is an affirmation of hope, revealing how a bond, once severed, can be mended and flourish anew under the nurturing light of shared faith. Don't miss the opportunity to nourish your soul - join us on Grow for ongoing spiritual enrichment, as we affirm that with divine guidance, love can re-emerge in the most unexpected and beautiful of ways.
To learn more about Nicole and her business services, please visit:
https://leadersoftransformation.com/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:02):
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Grow where
God reveals our way.
I'm Angelique Gibson, your host, and I can't wait to explore
the vast riches of God's Wordwith you.
So don't forget to subscribeand stay tuned for upcoming
episodes packed with biblicalteachings, inspirational stories
and a fresh perspective on theworld around us.
Now let's get started on thisbeautiful journey.
(00:24):
May God bless you abundantly.
Welcome back to another episodeof Grow where God reveals our
way.
I am so excited to have with metoday a very special guest, who
a dear friend of mineintroduced me to, but she is an
(00:47):
absolute powerhouse.
You're going to love justhearing how God has been working
in and through her life.
I'm going to let her tell yousome of the really amazing
things that God has her doing inthis season right now, but I'm
going to introduce you to noother than Nicole Jansen.
Welcome, nicole.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Thanks, Angelic.
It's exciting to be here andlooking forward to our
conversation ahead.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I am too.
We were just saying that welove divine appointments and our
appointment was certainlydivine.
God is certainly mending alifelong friendship and just so
grateful that our friend Johnconnected us Amen.
So why don't we go ahead?
Yeah, why don't we go ahead?
I want to just kind of getpeople who may not be familiar
(01:35):
with you introduced to you alittle bit.
I certainly have your bio inthe show notes et cetera, but
just a little bit from you.
You're a serial entrepreneur,incredibly successful
businesswoman.
Tell us a little bit about whatGod is doing in this season of
life, specifically in andthrough your work right now.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, thank you.
So you know it's all because ofGod and what he is doing, and
so thank you for for emphasizingthat, because I wouldn't be
here without him.
I mean in more ways than one,but really, in what I'm doing,
it is by the grace of God, andso I have a podcast.
I host the leaders oftransformation podcast, and that
(02:21):
was actually something that Godinspired me, called me to do
back in 2015.
In fact, he woke me up at four30 in the morning and said
you're going to do a podcast andthis is what it's going to be
called, this is what you'regoing to do, go and, and so that
is.
That is such a blessing.
We're almost at 500 episodesnow, and it's just the people
(02:44):
that I've been able to meetthrough that.
It's been incredible.
I also coach entrepreneurs andbusiness leaders in growing
their business but, moreimportantly, becoming who they
were meant to be, doing thething that God has called them
to, living in their assignment.
And not all my clients areChristians, yet we still get the
(03:06):
opportunity to dig deep intowho they are and how they're
created, which also gives me anopportunity to oftentimes share
about God and the God thatcreated them.
I always say that if you wantto know the purpose of a thing,
you ask the one who created thething, and so we get to have
those conversations.
So it's a, it's a greatopportunity that I have and,
(03:30):
yeah, we're just, you know,working on building a platform
and scaling our impact throughsome different avenues and
really leveraging what God hasgiven me and and just stewarding
that as well as I can.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Absolutely incredible and we're going to click into
just the little bit that I'vegotten to know about you how
just amazing it is to see thatyou really live out what you
actually help other peopleachieve, what you actually help
(04:09):
other people achieve.
So, you know, you, you help,coach and lead people to who God
created them to be, and yourjourney, and doing that for
yourself, I mean, you know, thebest coaches are the ones who
actually have lived through theexperience of what you're trying
to help others do.
That's one thing, to to readand learn about concepts, but to
truly live it out that's whatreally separates an okay coach
(04:30):
to just an incredible coach ofexcellence, and I think that's
really what you represent.
So, before we get into thatpart of your story, I would love
to hear, though, a little bitabout your journey into becoming
a coach, specifically aroundthe family business that you had
(04:50):
the opportunity to grow upinside of and just where your
entrepreneurial roots came from.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, thank you, and to your point.
You know it's funny.
I've often said to God like,can I not just read this from a
book?
Why do I have to experience itall myself?
Exactly, don't we wish?
(05:19):
Not saying that we all need toexperience everything firsthand
and go through all the painfulexperiences, in particular
Individually.
We can learn from others, andthere are certain things that
God allows us.
I don't think he causes us togo through, but he certainly
allows certain things if it'sgoing to shape and mold us into
(05:40):
the person that he's created usto be.
And so, yeah, when I started outin life, I grew up in an
entrepreneurial household.
My parents were hardworkingimmigrants and they knew how to
work seven days a week, and somy dad owned garage businesses,
my mother helped in the garageand did the paperwork and
(06:03):
everything, and then, when I wasseven, they started a
home-based business and, becauseof our environment and the way
that my parents I mean it wasjust really they were immigrants
.
So it was just the four of usmy brother and myself, my
parents, that was it.
That was our family unit, andno extended family nearby and no
extended family nearby.
(06:24):
And so we just learned to be ateam and we learned that you
know when we win, everybody wins, and when we work, everybody
works.
Like so we were.
We were, that was ingrained inus and so when my parents
started that business, Iimmediately jumped up and said,
okay, well, what can I do?
And of course I'm seven yearsold, what could I do?
(06:45):
So I started opening boxesbecause there were shipments
coming to our house every weekand I started opening up boxes
and you know, tracking,inventory, and then gradually
people would call with ordersand I would take the orders down
rather than just taking amessage for my parents to call
them back.
And it grew into the pointwhere when I was like I don't
(07:09):
know 12, 13, 14, I was doing alot of the ordering and
supporting my mom in that andalso then starting my own first
official business.
I always say official businessbecause that was where I
registered it with thegovernment.
Before then I had all theselittle side businesses at school
and so forth, but that's when Istarted my first official
(07:30):
business and started to get outthere and sell and I sold fax
machines door to door and then Iquickly realized I wasn't
excited about fax machines, so Istarted selling other stuff and
I didn't know much aboutbusiness other than helping my
parents' business.
But really, from an outwardmarketing and sales I didn't
(07:51):
really understand much about it,other than the fact that I knew
that you needed to have aproduct to sell and somebody to
sell it to, and so with that Igot started and just followed
the promptings.
And now I look back and Irealize that God was leading me
and directing me every step ofthe way, but I didn't know that
at the time.
(08:12):
Even though I was a believer, Iwas a new believer.
I became a Christian when I was14.
So it's just this progression.
And then by the time I was in my20s, I was building my own
business.
I decided not to go touniversity.
My parents' business was reallythriving.
There's a lot more to the story, but the essence was that my
dad had set aside thathome-based business and focused
(08:36):
on his automotive business afterhaving some failed business
ventures.
And then it decided when I was17, came back into the business
and we started to build thatbusiness and replaced his income
from the other businesses andwent full time.
And then we continued to growit.
By the time I was in my midtwenties it was doing over $10
(08:59):
million a year in sales and thisis a home-based business, you
know, and we're in like 10, 11countries and I started.
I started partnering with myparents and helping them in that
business more and more andeventually officially partnered
with them and, uh, it was agreat experience and I thought
that's what I was going to dofor the rest of my life.
(09:19):
And apparently that was not theplan, because that business
ended up falling apart.
We were in business with somepeople that had different core
values and different priorities.
When there's a lot of money onthe table, people's real
motivations and intent itdoesn't change people, and I
(09:41):
love what somebody said oncemoney doesn't change you, but it
does reveal you, and so the theulterior motives and so forth
it started to create realproblems and anyway, that
business started falling apartand we ended up losing it and my
parents lost everything.
I didn't have much to losebecause I was just investing
(10:01):
everything back in the businessand so I really wasn't concerned
about because I thought thatwas going to be my future, right
.
So, but it did cause me to thensit back and say, okay, god,
like what was that about?
I just spent 20 years helpingand then building actively this
business, and there's nothingreally on the surface you know
(10:23):
visibly to show for it.
But when I went back and Iextracted all the lessons, I
realized I had learned so muchand so much on the way up, and
also even more on the way down,about leadership and about human
behavior and about teambuilding and about business and
operations and all the things,operations and all the things.
(10:48):
And that's when I sat and Ireally prayed over like, what do
you want me to do with this?
You've given me theseexperiences, or allowed these
experiences to happen, so that Icould learn all of these
lessons.
What do I do with that?
And then it was out of thatthat I became very clear on my
purpose and my mission, which isto help maximum, helping people
to maximize their potential tobe the best that they can be, to
(11:08):
be who God created them to be.
And so I started to coach andtrain around that, helping
people to discover themselves,discover their strengths, who
they are, and then build teamsaround that and companies around
that.
And and it's been an incrediblejourney and then that's just
been the evolution which hasbrought me to where I am today.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
That's absolutely incredible.
There's not a lot of people outthere who have, you know, led
successful businesses fromgrassroots like you're
describing.
Go through the, you know, goclimb the mountain and then come
back down and to be on theother side to help other
entrepreneurs and businessleaders really take their
leadership to the next level and, you know, become the person
(11:52):
that God created them to be.
So, just living it out, theexperience that you bring to the
table is absolutely incredible,and that's just from a few
minute testimony that you'redescribing.
So the richness in the wellruns deep.
So I just so appreciate eventhe little bit that you have
shared today.
You know, one of the thingsthat really stood out to me is
(12:16):
that you shared with me you'rein the business of
transformation and, even moreimportantly, you believe that
the transformation can happen.
So it's one thing to hope fortransformation, it's another
thing to truly believe in it.
And you've also shared with mesome of your key strengths, as
(12:39):
defined through the strengthfinders assessment.
And for those of you whohaven't heard me talk about
Strength Finders, you will now,because I absolutely love it.
But it's this little assessmentyou can go out and take through
Gallup and it will basicallytell you what are the greatest
strengths that God has createdyou to do like what's in you and
(13:02):
work on those strengths,because they're going to get you
further in life than trying tofix the things that quote
unquote culture calls weaknesses.
You can spend your wholelifetime trying to fix those
weaknesses, but God didn'tcreate you to take weaknesses
and turn them into strengths.
He's actually created you withstrengths and he wants you to
maximize those strengths for hiswork.
(13:22):
So say all that to say, some ofyour strengths you shared with
me were maximizer, so the factthat your mission is tied to
maximizing the greatness inothers and creating systems,
relationships and spaces toallow people to really thrive
for who God created them to be.
You're an achiever, so you liketo get stuff done.
(13:43):
You're a visionary, futuristicIdeation.
You can create and ideate withother business leaders, other
friends, just people that Godputs in your path, and it's
underpinned by this strength ofbelief and just a little bit
more around.
That belief that really juststood out to me when you shared
(14:04):
a bit of your testimony with mewas your story in your personal
life, specifically with yourhusband.
It reminds me so much of one ofmy favorite books beyond the
Bible, and that book isRedeeming Love by Francine
Rivers and listeners.
If you haven't picked up a copyof that book, whether you're
(14:25):
male or female, I encourage yougo get a copy, read that book,
gift it out to many, because itis one of the best books ever
written and it is the fictionalstory that is depicted off of
the book of Hosea.
In the Bible and in the book ofHosea what we find is we find a
prophet for Israel, god'snation, and Israel was
(14:49):
fornicating against the ways ofGod.
You can pretty much look atAmerica today and see that we're
trying to take God out ofeverything.
And that's the same thing thatwas happening back in the day in
Israel when Hosea was a prophet, and what God did is a natural
depiction of the spiritual decaythat was happening in the land.
(15:10):
He actually had his prophetHosea marry a prostitute,
someone who was unfaithful tothe marriage vows and she would
keep returning to the work thatshe was accustomed to
prostitution.
And so you see Hosea, just thepain that he had to live in day
(15:33):
and the night that he had tolive in through this marriage
that God had him enter into, butbecause he loved the Lord and
he was faithful.
He did it and through that, godtransformed his heart into
truly loving her.
It's actually a beautiful storyand it's about God's heart,
(15:55):
after his people, that we canturn away from him every single
day, and yet he still pursues uswith love and he wants to be in
that covenant relationship withus.
And so, nicole, wow, when Ithink about just pieces of the
story that you shared with meand I'm going to let you share
what you would like to sharewith our listeners today but you
(16:16):
truly have the heart of Hosea,you have the heart of the Father
.
Where you can look at peopleand you can truly believe that
belief.
You can see the best in them.
Where you can look at peopleand you can truly believe that
belief.
You can see the best in themand you can believe that they're
going to transform to who Godcreated them to be.
So you live it out in yourpersonal life and you let people
you know really invite you intotheir space so you can help
(16:39):
them do it as well.
So, if you wouldn't mind justsharing a little bit of your
journey with your husband andhow it connects to you know the
story of Hosea that we find inthe Bible.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, so it's not necessarily a calling that I
desired.
I mean, I remember being ayoung woman and talking to
people about you knowpotentially, you know who my
partner might be in the future,and I always said, oh, I'll
never marry somebody who'sdivorced because, you know, in
my, in my immaturity, I wouldthe my, my thought was my
(17:14):
arrogance.
Maybe I thought, well, they'reall messed up by somebody else,
so I don't, I don't want to.
You know, I don't want to gothere, right, I want somebody
who's never been married before.
And uh, god has a sense ofhumor because he brought to me a
man that has been marriedmultiple times and divorced
multiple times.
And uh, and yet, when we met,um, I first of all I was not
(17:39):
really looking for anybody atthat point.
I had been single and I was,you know, 35 years old and just
really focused on my career andrebuilding and all of that, and
so actually, when I met him thefirst time, I didn't even
realize that there was anythingthere, and he stayed in touch
(18:00):
for about three years and thenwe reconnected.
I was 38 and we're having thisconversation and it was just
like all of a sudden, everythingclicked and I'm like what did
you say?
And what did you say and whatLike it?
Just it happened so fast and weended up getting married very
(18:23):
quickly.
He's an American.
I was at that time living inCanada.
Now I live down in the U?
S and just became an Americancitizen.
But I was living in Canada andso we're talking on the phone
and it, just like I said, itjust clicked and so I ended up
coming down here and we ended upgetting married and I thought I
had married the love of my lifeand I thought this is amazing.
(18:47):
He is so attentive and presentand understands personal
development and business and allthe things.
And we just, you know, justthought it was amazing and it
was until it wasn't.
And there was.
He came to Canada with me and westarted to have some challenges
(19:09):
and he started to check out andthe old patterns started to
surface and I was like God, I'vedone, you know everything quote
unquote right, you know, I'mtrying to do the right thing.
I haven't done anything right.
I've made a lot of mistakes inmy life, but I felt like I was
(19:29):
trying to do the right thing.
Right, I'm trying to love theLord, follow in his ways.
And why me?
Why this?
You know, after all that myfamily had been through I had a
bunch of health issues, overcamethat.
Here I am, you know, and andI'm just like God, I'm trying to
(19:50):
do the right thing here, and Ithought I heard, I thought I
heard you say yes, like Ithought this was the guy you
know, and even the night beforewe got married because it was so
quick I was like, lord, youknow, if this is not the right
person, just tell me and I'lljust I'll walk away.
And I just felt such a peace inthat moment that I was like I
(20:14):
knew God was with me.
And so here we are.
Now, though, it's like seven,eight, nine months later, and
he's starting to distancehimself.
He actually went back toCalifornia sooner than I was
still getting things wrapped upback in Canada, and then, at one
point, he actually sent me atext and he said I'm sorry, a
(20:37):
text message.
It was an email.
And he said it's done, I'msorry, it's over.
And I'm like this is an email.
I'm like, dude, we are notdating, we are married.
Where are you at?
Like you're going to send me anemail to tell me it's over.
And so I was prepared, I hadpacked everything up and I was
getting ready to fly toCalifornia and he tells me like,
don't come.
(20:58):
And I'm like what?
And so, anyway, I waited a day.
My mother, in her wisdom, saidyou might want to wait a day,
and so I did.
And then I, the following day,flew out to California and found
him at his work.
And you know just, I just saidto him.
(21:18):
I said, like this is not okay,this is not how this goes right.
We don't just give up like that.
And and so he said, okay, I'lltry.
And I've never been a good, youknow, I've never been a big fan
of that word try, because it's,you know, I think of Tony.
Robbins who says you know,either try, you do it or you
(21:42):
don't.
What is it, yoda, do or do not.
There is no try and so, butthat was the most I was gonna
get from him.
So we, we started to try.
He tried, and about a yearlater so I came down here 2011.
And a year later, I had afranchise at the time, which was
Crazy Town, and I ended upwalking away from that franchise
(22:03):
because the system wasdysfunctional, and that was June
of 2012.
And a month later, I filed myapplication for permanent
residency and I said are we inthis?
And he said yes.
And a month later, he said myapplication for permanent
residency and I said are we inthis?
And he said yes.
And a month later, he said Ichanged my mind, I don't want to
be married, and I almost lostit, so continued to fight for
(22:27):
our marriage.
First of all, he was putting iton me that it was, you know,
some wrong with me, and so Iwent through that whole
self-acceptance, lack ofself-acceptance discovering that
I didn't love myself and really, god healed my heart and use
that time to help me torecognize how much he loves me,
how much I need to lean on himfor my value and and who I am,
(22:51):
my worth and uh, and for me tolearn to love myself.
And over the next couple ofyears, we ended up moving into a
place where we were livingseparately in separate rooms and
under the same roof, and heultimately moved out.
And during that time he wasunfaithful and he was lying
about it.
I knew it because I also amvery discerning of a prophetic
(23:14):
gift, and so I, uh, I wouldconfront him and it just went.
It went downhill and it wasworse and worse and I kept
trying to do everything I couldto uh to resolve it and it just
wasn't gonna, it just wasn'tworking.
And at some point long story,sorry, I'm making it this, don't
make it longer, but shorter umis that before he had moved out,
(23:40):
I remember being at the beachand it was like, um, it was
Malibu and I'm sitting in thecar and I was there for like
seven hours and I was like God,show me what to do.
I mean, show me what I'msupposed to do in this situation
.
He's jamming up against all myvalues.
Like I didn't get married young, I waited to get the find the
(24:04):
right person, cause I want to bemarried for life.
And here we are, and then he'slying and he's cheating and he's
pushing me away, and and I anddawned on me that he was trying
to be unlovable.
He literally did before we gotmarried.
I said there's two things thatI do not accept lying and
cheating.
Everything else I can workthrough a lot of tough stuff,
(24:26):
but those two things, no bueno,and those are the two, very
those are the two things that hedid.
And I was like what?
So he was jamming up against myvalues and at some point I
realized that he was alsojamming up against his own,
because deep down inside, hedidn't love himself and because
he didn't love himself, hecouldn't possibly allow me to
love him.
And so he was pushing me awayand he was trying to be
(24:49):
unlovable.
And it wasn't conscious, it wasunconscious, right, but he was
trying to be unlovable.
And I'm like God, what do I do?
And so I'm at the beach, I'mthere, it's like seven hours, I
don't hear anything, and finallyit's starting to get dark, and
so I I start packing up, and Ihad my journal there and I was
waiting to hear from him so Icould write it down.
(25:11):
And and uh, and all of a sudden, he starts to speak to me, and
the essence of what he said wasI wrote pages and the essence of
it.
What is what he said is loveyour husband.
And I'm like how do I do that?
And he said love your husband.
I'm like, okay, so I go backhome and I'm like I love you,
(25:34):
right, I believe in you.
That made it worse.
He was like I don't love you.
I don't understand why youwould love somebody who doesn't
love you and will never love you.
And he was not.
He's not a, he's not a yellerand he's not somebody who would
be like you know, verballyabusing me or calling me names
or whatever.
He was critical.
He's an engineer type, right,so he's critical, but and
(25:58):
judgmental he was, but it wasn'tlike he was you know foul
language or anything like that,but he was just like I will
never love you.
And and then so he moves out.
And then I said God, what do Ido now?
I thought that's what you I did, what you told me to do.
And here we are and he's withanother woman and another woman
(26:24):
like what am I supposed to do inthis?
Right, he doesn't refuse us totalk to me and won't, won't
respond to text messages.
And God finally says I alreadytold you love your husband.
And I'm like how am I supposedto do that?
I can't even talk to him.
Silence, so in prayer and goinglike God, what do I do with
(26:51):
this situation?
I realized that I could prayfor him, I could send him love
spiritually, and that's what Istarted to do over the next 18
months.
We didn't see each other, wedidn't talk.
He was totally checked out.
I could tell on Facebook he hadbeen with ex-girlfriends and an
ex-wife and all that, and I'mjust like Lord, have mercy, and
(27:12):
what's he doing?
And then I got to the pointwhere I just kept sending him
love, blessing him, wishing thebest for him, and I got to the
point where I realized thiswasn't an exercise in me trying
to get him back.
This was healing my heart andhelping me, teaching me how to
love big, to love and to forgive, even getting to the point
(27:37):
where I realized there's nothingto forgive because of the
blessing that was birthed out ofit.
At that point I realized, wow,this was the lesson, this was
what this was about.
This wasn't about him, this wasabout I mean, it was, but it's
about me, right, and myrelationship with him and how
much he loves me.
(27:58):
At one point I remember sayingGod, like you know, he's
committing adultery, or I thinkthis is actually the second time
.
So we actually fast forward.
So we went, so I'll come backto that in a second.
He, at some point it was liketwo and a half years since he
had been gone and I was like youknow what?
I need to move out of thisplace.
(28:19):
We were in LA, or I was in LAat that time and I was like I
need to move.
I need to move somewhere else,like change the scenery.
And so I contacted him, hopingthat he would check his message
and respond.
So I sent him a text messageand I said, look, if this is the
(28:41):
path you want to take and youdon't want to be married, then
fine, let's just get a divorce.
And so that's when we, um, wewent to the courthouse, we met
up there.
I was like, if we're going todo this, let's just do this.
And so I went to the courthouseand um met up with him there.
And it was funny because heactually showed up and he gave
me this warm hug and I was like,wow, that's interesting.
But I was like, let's justcontinue, let's get it.
(29:01):
You know, get it done.
And so we did.
And then afterwards we sat inthe garage and talked for a few
minutes and he was very chatty.
It was unusual for him and hesaid I hope you can forgive me
one day.
And I said, dude, I've alreadyforgiven you.
I've already forgiven you.
In fact, there is nothing morefor me to forgive you for.
(29:22):
In fact, I thank you for thisopportunity because of what it
has allowed me.
God used it for me to learn somuch about myself and about him
and just to love, to love um,deeper.
And so he says, wow, you'reamazing.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no,let's be clear, this is God's
love in, in through me, because,honestly, I'd strangle you.
(29:44):
But, um, god is gracious.
And so, anyway, through the nextnumber of days, he started to
rethink it and, uh, the processwas started with the divorce.
But he came back to me and hesaid you know what?
I'd like to give it another try, because I realized I might've
been really stupid.
And you know, I, I realize thatthat you're pretty amazing and
(30:05):
I want to be with you, right?
So I'm like, well, that's,that's really great, it's a nice
revelation.
But, and appreciate that, butwhat has let's talk about?
About this, because I don'twant to just jump back in right,
I'm not going through thismerry-go-round again.
And so over the next number ofmonths, we talked and got it all
on the table.
There was nothing off the table.
(30:27):
I asked him for the details andI wanted to understand and help
have him understand why thishappened, like what, for him to
recognize why he did certainthings and that caused him to do
that, so we could protectourselves in the future.
And we ended up getting backtogether and that was amazing.
(30:48):
Until it wasn't, next year camearound.
My dad had passed away the yearbefore suddenly, and then my
mom passes away in 2018.
And when I went to her funeralor to go home and deal with that
and wrap things up, I just feltthose old feelings.
(31:10):
Something was off.
He wasn't with me, but I justfelt like something intuitively
was off.
We couldn't connect me, but Ijust felt like something
intuitively was off.
We couldn't connect on thephone and whatever.
And so I came back to San Diegoand I was like what's going on?
And he's like nothing.
And I went nope, something'sgoing on.
Anyway, it turns out he hadbeen unfaithful again while I
(31:30):
was away and in the meantimealso, he had dismissed the
divorce papers the day that hehad dropped me off at the
airport, but a week later he'sin bed with somebody right.
And so I'm like what is goingon?
What are we doing here?
And I didn't know this.
But a couple of weeks later,the paperwork for the dismissed
(31:53):
or divorce was returned with anerror a clerical error on it or
whatever some typo and he tookthat as a sign and he finalized
our divorce instead ofresubmitting the same paperwork.
And so it was about a monthlater.
After that I was like where arewe at, talk to me, like what's
going on?
And he started to check outagain and I had said to him look
(32:16):
, if you want to get some helpfor this professional support,
I'll support you through that,but this, this isn't going to
work unless we do somethingabout this.
And uh, and that's when he toldme that we were actually
divorced already.
He'd already finalized it anddidn't tell me at that point.
Um, he said something to me.
He said you know what youdeserve better.
(32:37):
And I said you know, you'reright, I do, and so do you.
And in fact I said to him Isaid do you know what you
deserve?
And he kind of leaned back inhis chair.
He was sitting in his chair inhis office and he you know our
office and he leaned back and hewas just like bracing himself
(32:58):
and I said you deserve to beloved.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
So powerful.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
And yet it seemed I had to understand, I had to
respect his decisions, right,his actions.
I still loved him.
The difference the second timearound was that the second time
around it didn't shake me in myworthiness.
I was disappointed, but Iwasn't shaken because of where I
was standing with the Lord.
(33:28):
And so I said I love you and Ibelieve in you.
And he said to me he goes oh,you believe in my potential.
I said I love you and I believein you.
And he said to me he goes, oh,you believe in my potential.
I said, no, I see you as Godsees you.
That's what I believe in.
Yeah, it's your potential, butit's who I see you to be.
Anyway, I said but I also haveto respect your decisions and so
if this is the path you want totake, then I'm going to.
(33:50):
So when I moved out, and he wasactually surprised that I moved
out and I'm like well, you justdivorced me, what do you want me
to do?
So there was, like thisconflict I say that because and
I know I'm drawing out thisstory but this conflict in him,
but there's so much there, right, which hopefully somebody who's
listening will encourage them.
But anyway, I went on thisjourney with the Lord and he
(34:12):
just said come away with me.
I went on this journey with theLord and he just said come away
with me.
I just lost my father, mymother, my husband, my home and
my business had fallen apartbecause I just there's just a
lot going on.
Personally, I just didn't havethe energy and the emotional
capacity to focus on that.
And so he just said come awaywith me and rest.
(34:35):
And then he said do you trustme?
I'm like I rest.
And then he said do you trustme?
I'm like I trust you.
He's like do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
I'm like I trust you.
So I walked that out and overthe next three years, just
really walking with the Lord,rebuilding my life, coming back,
I went to Canada for a littlewhile, came back, knew I needed
(34:57):
to be in California and thenthree years later I get a.
I get a Facebook message hey,I'm moving back, cause he had
moved up to Oregon and Arizonaand wandering around and and uh
in different places and stuff,and and um, and he says I'm
coming back to San Diego and I'mlike good for you, enjoy, right
.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
And Nicole, this is Nicole.
This is where I want to saydon't take the Facebook message.
That's like, that's my fleshlyreaction when I'm hearing your
story and I, I'm sure likelisteners are like, oh, he's
coming back on the scene again.
And if you read the book ofHosea, I'm telling you that's
what Hosea walked out.
And so go ahead, nicole, keepgoing.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
So I get the Facebook message and it was early
morning and I'm like what, right, and what I told him was good
luck with that.
But inside I was, I was mad.
I was mad.
I was like he wasn't justcoming back to San Diego, he was
coming back to San Diego towork for his former boss, which
(36:02):
was best friends, which is mybest friend's husband.
And I'm like, really, youcouldn't find anybody in all of
the U?
S to hire as your auto, youknow automotive tech.
You had to hire my ex-husbandback.
Like now he's going to be backin my space, right.
So there was like a lot ofemotions, even though I had
(36:22):
forgiven him.
But I was like I just didn'twant to go back into that space,
right, and to be confrontedwith that.
It was just like I'm over this,I want to move on.
And so, anyway, long storyshort, kept reaching out and, uh
, sending me another facebook.
Hey, you know this that I'mlike what is he doing?
Finally, it was a few monthslater.
I finally said, god, what isthis?
(36:44):
And I just felt God's peace andI said, like should I respond
to him or what do I do this?
And so we ended up having aconversation.
He wanted to apologize, hewanted to complete, and I said,
fine, done.
And then we started to talkagain and I'm like I can't do
this again.
Was this the third time around?
(37:04):
What am I nuts, right?
And I just trusted him Like God, I need you in this moment.
I had such a strong relationshipwith the Lord at that point.
It was him and I going throughlife together, right and um, my
brother was still there.
He's in Canada and he was goingthrough a lot of stuff there,
so I was a support for him.
I really just it was me and Godyou know, and I'm like Lord,
(37:27):
what is this?
And uh, anyway, long storyshort, so at some point I said
to him.
I said, look, you know what hewas like.
Well, maybe we should try again.
I said, look, here's the thingwe're divorced now.
Last time around we wereseparated.
We want to try it again.
That's one thing.
This time around, we'redivorced.
The next person that I marry isgoing to be aligned.
(37:48):
I want to be evenly yoked.
I want a person.
And I showed him my littleshort list, which is not my
perfection list, but it is alist of non-negotiables, and I
had it on my wall actually in myroom and my in my closet, and I
said, look, this is what I'mlooking for.
I'm not saying you need tochange, I'm just saying this is
what I am looking for.
(38:12):
And that person loves the Lord,because I've tried it, I've
tried it, we've tried it.
You know he grew up in aChristian home but it kind of
strayed away and he's anintellect, so you know he's got
all the logical reasons why theBible is not and all the things
whatever.
But I was like searching right,constantly.
He was searching and so I justsaid this is is what I'm looking
for.
And one of the things that hehad done in that journey was he
(38:34):
had gotten to the point or thatthree years he'd gotten to the
point where he loved himself,which was great and that is
that's important.
But it's not just the love thatwe have for ourself, it's the
love that god has for us is somuch, even like beyond.
That is so much more important.
And he hadn't quite got to thatpoint yet and I was like I'm so
glad that you love yourself,I'm so glad that you have
(38:56):
accepted everything that you areand everything that you're not
beautiful.
I need a guy who loves the Lordand who walks with him.
I want a three cord strand.
That's what's going to make amarriage work.
And so, anyway, um, at somepoint in in that, I was like,
look, you don't need to change,I'm not saying, I'm just telling
you that this is why you know,uh, where I'm at.
(39:17):
And so he asked to come tochurch.
He came to our sir I've youknow.
I was like, I don't know, do Iwant him to come to our church?
It's a small church, um, but hecame and, uh, he heard the
message from our pastor and heturned to me in the service,
like it was a couple minutes in,and he goes this is different.
(39:38):
And I said I know Cause you saychurches like this and churches
like that.
He grew up in a hypocriticalchurch and they say one thing
and do another and all thisstuff and um, and very small
town, oppressed religious churchand he goes.
This is different and I saidyeah, it is, it got his
attention.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
He came for me, he stayed for him and so he stayed
he dedicated his life to thelord he got baptized, he got in
a men's group.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
He's serving he's actually serves in security.
Now he heads up the team.
We do facilities together andcover that team.
It's been amazing and yeah, andhe asked me to remarry him and
so we ended up getting remarriedin May of 2022.
So it's been almost two yearsit's so good.
(40:35):
And to your point.
I had a lot of people that saidto me in some form or other are
you nuts Like?
Either you are a masochist andyou're just this is three, I
said to him.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
I said, look, it's, either this is three, three
times the charm, or threestrikes you're out.
I'm not sure, but the but.
I said, the time will tell, butbut I have to believe that
transformation is.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
I know God is in the business of transforming lives.
Be transformed by the renewingof your mind.
God can change somebody's heart.
I can't change somebody's heart.
God can change somebody's heart.
I can't change somebody's heart.
Nobody can change somebody'sheart.
God can change, just like inthe story of Hosea with his wife
is God can change somebody'sheart to soften their heart.
And for him, for my husband,it's really becoming who he's a.
(41:24):
He's a kind, sweet, sensitive,gentle man.
He's like a gentle giant.
He's six foot three.
Doesn't raise his voice.
He has, actually, he doesn'teven realize it, boy, he didn't.
He does now.
He didn't even realize that hehad the spirit of the Lord in
him, but he didn't reallyrecognize it because there were
signs.
I could see it, I could see thepotential in what God was doing
(41:46):
in his life and that's why I,that's why I, I just I was like
trusting God.
I'm like, okay, now there was apoint, even as we were leading
up to the, to the wedding, and Iwas like like, what happens if
right, what happens if thishappens again?
And it was like can I trust myheart with him?
(42:07):
And it was like God saying canyou trust your heart with me so
powerful.
It's not about him.
It's about him, but it's notabout him.
Can you trust your heart issafe with me, no matter what
happens, and from that place Ican move into a marriage with
(42:29):
somebody with a history likethat and believe and trust.
And there has been times whereI've been triggered since
getting remarried and you know,in the last couple of years I
have been triggered at certaintimes and I've had to bring that
to him and bring that to, mostimportantly, to the Lord, and be
like God.
(42:50):
Help me to heal those parts ofmy heart that are still wounded
Um, so that I don't bring thepast into the present and into
the future and God justcontinues to remind me.
This is why the Bible says youdon't trust in man.
I'm not saying I don't trusthim.
What I'm saying is you don'ttrust it.
You trust in me and I knoweverything.
(43:10):
I'm beginning from thebeginning to the end.
I know it.
I'm the alpha and the omega.
I know all, I see all.
Trust in me.
Amen.
If there's something that youneed to see, I'll show it, but
don't go looking around lookingfor it, because all you're doing
is you're trying to be God andyou're trying to protect
(43:30):
yourself from getting hurt againand in the process, it becomes
a self-fulfilling prophecy,right?
So it's been a journey of trustin God and experiencing the
peace of God, knowing that he'sgot me and he's got both of us.
And, of course, I pray over ourmarriage, I pray over my
husband, we pray together everynight and you know, I just I'm
(43:53):
declaring peace and I'mdeclaring that we are safe under
the shelter of his wings, right?
So, anyway, but yeah,transformation is um, is not
something that you can teach andor coach about from a position
of theory.
You kind of got to walk through, you got to get it.
I mean, I, you got to get itand you got to get it.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Amen.
And you know, gosh, I just lovethe notion that you lead with
you're in the business oftransformation and you gotta you
gotta be the change, you gottabelieve in the change and the
fact that you get your strengthand source of uh just wisdom and
knowledge that thetransformation can happen from
(44:38):
the Lord.
Uh, that's the source ofeverything, and so I just thank
you.
I mean, wow, just to to be sotransparent, authentic,
vulnerable, willing to shareyour story.
There's so many people outthere Maybe they don't have the
exact story that you have, wherewe marry our husband and then
(44:58):
we get the opportunity toremarry him again and go through
the hardships, but everymarriage has pain and hurt and
it's called life on this side ofheaven.
And so I know without a shadowof a doubt that your
authenticity and vulnerabilityin your story of redeeming love
(45:18):
uh is just an inspiration to allthose who are listening, and I
hope the listeners uh share itso other people can also be
inspired and to reallyunderstand where does the source
of change come from?
It comes from him above, and Iwant the whole world to connect
with you.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Can I say one more thing on?
Speaker 1 (45:40):
that yeah, absolutely .
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Can I just say one more thing on that Is that this
idea of soulmates is a popularone that you know.
This idea of soulmates is apopular one that people talk
about finding my soulmate, youknow, and my husband at one
point said I thought it wassupposed to flow, it was
supposed to be easy.
You know, everything's supposedto be smooth and I'm like, oh,
it takes work, Anything takeswork, Right.
(46:02):
And I saw it in my parents, sawit in my brother's marriage,
seen it in many others.
It takes intention work, not ina hard, negative way, but in an
intention about buildingsomething, anything of value.
You know, it takes work and itoccurred to me at some point
that I realized this whole ideaof soulmate is that with, with
(46:25):
calvin.
You know, we actually sometimes, I guess, soulmates bring out
the best in you.
Right, that's the idea.
Right, they bring out the bestin each other.
But sometimes they got to bringout the worst in each other to
bring it to the surface so thatGod can do his healing work.
(46:45):
Work.
Calvin brought out the worst inme, in my own lack of
self-acceptance, self-loathing,self-hatred, judgment, criticism
, and I brought the worst out inhim so that part could be
healed in him.
(47:05):
Now we're not perfect, but ifwe actually recognize that
that's what's happening, it'snot that, oh, you know what.
Maybe I made the mistake, maybewe shouldn't be in this
marriage, this person, I shouldgo find somebody else.
What if we actually looked atit like, wow, you know what this
person is helping to bringsomething, it's a gift.
That's why I say there wasnothing to forgive him for, it
(47:25):
was a gift.
I'm grateful, thank you.
Thank you for this experience,the total reframe on it, because
of how God that's really.
It's like God.
What was meant for our harm,god turned for our good.
Joseph reframed it and saidthank you for doing that,
because if you hadn't sold meinto slavery, I wouldn't be here
(47:48):
, I wouldn't be able to save ourfamily and save all these other
families.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
And he also says what's in the dark, bring to
light so it can be dealt with.
And so many times we just wantto push it down, we don't want
to deal with it, we want toignore it, and that very thing
is allowing the enemy to takethe territory.
And so let it come into thelight and deal with it, and God
will turn it into good, amen.
Well, nicole, I just thank youso much for your time today.
(48:17):
You're such a blessing,certainly to me and I know all
the listeners.
I've gotten so much out of this.
I've been married for a littleover 20 years and all your
nuggets of wisdom are just goingto it's literally seeds into a
fertile ground of my heart.
I hope it's fertile anyway.
That's going to just bear fruitfor the Lord in my marriage.
And I know so many and I wantso many people to connect with
(48:40):
you, and so you can find Nicoleat leadersoftransformationcom.
There's just a tremendousamount of information out there
that she has available, that youcan connect and learn more
about her work and how she caneven help you on your journey.
So with that, I'm going to prayus out, okay.
So, heavenly Father, thank youso much for this time that
(49:01):
you've given us today.
I just thank you for yourtestimony in the life of Nicole.
I just thank you for hermarriage to Calvin in the life
of Nicole, I just thank you forher marriage to Calvin and I
thank you that it's just aliving, breathing testimony of
the power of your redemptivelove, that when we truly fix our
eyes on you, anything ispossible.
Lord, I just thank you for everylistener and I just ask that,
(49:22):
as we leave this time together,that you continue to protect and
guide each and every one of usand just continue to reveal our
way.
Lord, we love you.
We do this for your glory andyour honor.
In the name of Jesus, we prayAmen.
Thank you for joining us onthis episode of Grow, where God
(49:42):
reveals our way.
We hope you found inspiration,wisdom and encouragement as we
continue on this faith-filledjourney together.
We invite you to subscribe toGrow so you never miss an
episode.
Stay tuned for more biblicalteachings, heartfelt testimonies
and insights that will nourishyour spirit and deepen your
relationship with God.
We appreciate your support andparticipation in this podcast.
(50:04):
Until next time, may you growin faith, love and knowledge of
his divine plan.
May God bless you abundantly.
Thank you for tuning in to this episode of Grow where
God reveals our way.
I'm Angelique Gibson, your host, and I can't wait to explore
the vast riches of God's Wordwith you.
So don't forget to subscribeand stay tuned for upcoming
episodes packed with biblicalteachings, inspirational stories
and a fresh perspective on theworld around us.
Now let's get started on thisbeautiful journey.
(00:24):
May God bless you abundantly.
Welcome back to another episodeof Grow where God reveals our
way.
I am so excited to have with metoday a very special guest, who
a dear friend of mineintroduced me to, but she is an
(00:47):
absolute powerhouse.
You're going to love justhearing how God has been working
in and through her life.
I'm going to let her tell yousome of the really amazing
things that God has her doing inthis season right now, but I'm
going to introduce you to noother than Nicole Jansen.
Welcome, nicole.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
Thanks, Angelic.
It's exciting to be here andlooking forward to our
conversation ahead.
Speaker 1 (01:12):
I am too.
We were just saying that welove divine appointments and our
appointment was certainlydivine.
God is certainly mending alifelong friendship and just so
grateful that our friend Johnconnected us Amen.
So why don't we go ahead?
Yeah, why don't we go ahead?
I want to just kind of getpeople who may not be familiar
(01:35):
with you introduced to you alittle bit.
I certainly have your bio inthe show notes et cetera, but
just a little bit from you.
You're a serial entrepreneur,incredibly successful
businesswoman.
Tell us a little bit about whatGod is doing in this season of
life, specifically in andthrough your work right now.
Speaker 2 (01:57):
Yeah, thank you.
So you know it's all because ofGod and what he is doing, and
so thank you for for emphasizingthat, because I wouldn't be
here without him.
I mean in more ways than one,but really, in what I'm doing,
it is by the grace of God, andso I have a podcast.
I host the leaders oftransformation podcast, and that
(02:21):
was actually something that Godinspired me, called me to do
back in 2015.
In fact, he woke me up at four30 in the morning and said
you're going to do a podcast andthis is what it's going to be
called, this is what you'regoing to do, go and, and so that
is.
That is such a blessing.
We're almost at 500 episodesnow, and it's just the people
(02:44):
that I've been able to meetthrough that.
It's been incredible.
I also coach entrepreneurs andbusiness leaders in growing
their business but, moreimportantly, becoming who they
were meant to be, doing thething that God has called them
to, living in their assignment.
And not all my clients areChristians, yet we still get the
(03:06):
opportunity to dig deep intowho they are and how they're
created, which also gives me anopportunity to oftentimes share
about God and the God thatcreated them.
I always say that if you wantto know the purpose of a thing,
you ask the one who created thething, and so we get to have
those conversations.
So it's a, it's a greatopportunity that I have and,
(03:30):
yeah, we're just, you know,working on building a platform
and scaling our impact throughsome different avenues and
really leveraging what God hasgiven me and and just stewarding
that as well as I can.
Speaker 1 (03:48):
Absolutely incredible and we're going to click into
just the little bit that I'vegotten to know about you how
just amazing it is to see thatyou really live out what you
actually help other peopleachieve, what you actually help
(04:09):
other people achieve.
So, you know, you, you help,coach and lead people to who God
created them to be, and yourjourney, and doing that for
yourself, I mean, you know, thebest coaches are the ones who
actually have lived through theexperience of what you're trying
to help others do.
That's one thing, to to readand learn about concepts, but to
truly live it out that's whatreally separates an okay coach
(04:30):
to just an incredible coach ofexcellence, and I think that's
really what you represent.
So, before we get into thatpart of your story, I would love
to hear, though, a little bitabout your journey into becoming
a coach, specifically aroundthe family business that you had
(04:50):
the opportunity to grow upinside of and just where your
entrepreneurial roots came from.
Speaker 2 (04:58):
Yeah, thank you, and to your point.
You know it's funny.
I've often said to God like,can I not just read this from a
book?
Why do I have to experience itall myself?
Exactly, don't we wish?
(05:19):
Not saying that we all need toexperience everything firsthand
and go through all the painfulexperiences, in particular
Individually.
We can learn from others, andthere are certain things that
God allows us.
I don't think he causes us togo through, but he certainly
allows certain things if it'sgoing to shape and mold us into
(05:40):
the person that he's created usto be.
And so, yeah, when I started outin life, I grew up in an
entrepreneurial household.
My parents were hardworkingimmigrants and they knew how to
work seven days a week, and somy dad owned garage businesses,
my mother helped in the garageand did the paperwork and
(06:03):
everything, and then, when I wasseven, they started a
home-based business and, becauseof our environment and the way
that my parents I mean it wasjust really they were immigrants
.
So it was just the four of usmy brother and myself, my
parents, that was it.
That was our family unit, andno extended family nearby and no
extended family nearby.
(06:24):
And so we just learned to be ateam and we learned that you
know when we win, everybody wins, and when we work, everybody
works.
Like so we were.
We were, that was ingrained inus and so when my parents
started that business, Iimmediately jumped up and said,
okay, well, what can I do?
And of course I'm seven yearsold, what could I do?
(06:45):
So I started opening boxesbecause there were shipments
coming to our house every weekand I started opening up boxes
and you know, tracking,inventory, and then gradually
people would call with ordersand I would take the orders down
rather than just taking amessage for my parents to call
them back.
And it grew into the pointwhere when I was like I don't
(07:09):
know 12, 13, 14, I was doing alot of the ordering and
supporting my mom in that andalso then starting my own first
official business.
I always say official businessbecause that was where I
registered it with thegovernment.
Before then I had all theselittle side businesses at school
and so forth, but that's when Istarted my first official
(07:30):
business and started to get outthere and sell and I sold fax
machines door to door and then Iquickly realized I wasn't
excited about fax machines, so Istarted selling other stuff and
I didn't know much aboutbusiness other than helping my
parents' business.
But really, from an outwardmarketing and sales I didn't
(07:51):
really understand much about it,other than the fact that I knew
that you needed to have aproduct to sell and somebody to
sell it to, and so with that Igot started and just followed
the promptings.
And now I look back and Irealize that God was leading me
and directing me every step ofthe way, but I didn't know that
at the time.
(08:12):
Even though I was a believer, Iwas a new believer.
I became a Christian when I was14.
So it's just this progression.
And then by the time I was in my20s, I was building my own
business.
I decided not to go touniversity.
My parents' business was reallythriving.
There's a lot more to the story, but the essence was that my
dad had set aside thathome-based business and focused
(08:36):
on his automotive business afterhaving some failed business
ventures.
And then it decided when I was17, came back into the business
and we started to build thatbusiness and replaced his income
from the other businesses andwent full time.
And then we continued to growit.
By the time I was in my midtwenties it was doing over $10
(08:59):
million a year in sales and thisis a home-based business, you
know, and we're in like 10, 11countries and I started.
I started partnering with myparents and helping them in that
business more and more andeventually officially partnered
with them and, uh, it was agreat experience and I thought
that's what I was going to dofor the rest of my life.
(09:19):
And apparently that was not theplan, because that business
ended up falling apart.
We were in business with somepeople that had different core
values and different priorities.
When there's a lot of money onthe table, people's real
motivations and intent itdoesn't change people, and I
(09:41):
love what somebody said oncemoney doesn't change you, but it
does reveal you, and so the theulterior motives and so forth
it started to create realproblems and anyway, that
business started falling apartand we ended up losing it and my
parents lost everything.
I didn't have much to losebecause I was just investing
(10:01):
everything back in the businessand so I really wasn't concerned
about because I thought thatwas going to be my future, right
.
So, but it did cause me to thensit back and say, okay, god,
like what was that about?
I just spent 20 years helpingand then building actively this
business, and there's nothingreally on the surface you know
(10:23):
visibly to show for it.
But when I went back and Iextracted all the lessons, I
realized I had learned so muchand so much on the way up, and
also even more on the way down,about leadership and about human
behavior and about teambuilding and about business and
operations and all the things,operations and all the things.
(10:48):
And that's when I sat and Ireally prayed over like, what do
you want me to do with this?
You've given me theseexperiences, or allowed these
experiences to happen, so that Icould learn all of these
lessons.
What do I do with that?
And then it was out of thatthat I became very clear on my
purpose and my mission, which isto help maximum, helping people
to maximize their potential tobe the best that they can be, to
(11:08):
be who God created them to be.
And so I started to coach andtrain around that, helping
people to discover themselves,discover their strengths, who
they are, and then build teamsaround that and companies around
that.
And and it's been an incrediblejourney and then that's just
been the evolution which hasbrought me to where I am today.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
That's absolutely incredible.
There's not a lot of people outthere who have, you know, led
successful businesses fromgrassroots like you're
describing.
Go through the, you know, goclimb the mountain and then come
back down and to be on theother side to help other
entrepreneurs and businessleaders really take their
leadership to the next level and, you know, become the person
(11:52):
that God created them to be.
So, just living it out, theexperience that you bring to the
table is absolutely incredible,and that's just from a few
minute testimony that you'redescribing.
So the richness in the wellruns deep.
So I just so appreciate eventhe little bit that you have
shared today.
You know, one of the thingsthat really stood out to me is
(12:16):
that you shared with me you'rein the business of
transformation and, even moreimportantly, you believe that
the transformation can happen.
So it's one thing to hope fortransformation, it's another
thing to truly believe in it.
And you've also shared with mesome of your key strengths, as
(12:39):
defined through the strengthfinders assessment.
And for those of you whohaven't heard me talk about
Strength Finders, you will now,because I absolutely love it.
But it's this little assessmentyou can go out and take through
Gallup and it will basicallytell you what are the greatest
strengths that God has createdyou to do like what's in you and
(13:02):
work on those strengths,because they're going to get you
further in life than trying tofix the things that quote
unquote culture calls weaknesses.
You can spend your wholelifetime trying to fix those
weaknesses, but God didn'tcreate you to take weaknesses
and turn them into strengths.
He's actually created you withstrengths and he wants you to
maximize those strengths for hiswork.
(13:22):
So say all that to say, some ofyour strengths you shared with
me were maximizer, so the factthat your mission is tied to
maximizing the greatness inothers and creating systems,
relationships and spaces toallow people to really thrive
for who God created them to be.
You're an achiever, so you liketo get stuff done.
(13:43):
You're a visionary, futuristicIdeation.
You can create and ideate withother business leaders, other
friends, just people that Godputs in your path, and it's
underpinned by this strength ofbelief and just a little bit
more around.
That belief that really juststood out to me when you shared
(14:04):
a bit of your testimony with mewas your story in your personal
life, specifically with yourhusband.
It reminds me so much of one ofmy favorite books beyond the
Bible, and that book isRedeeming Love by Francine
Rivers and listeners.
If you haven't picked up a copyof that book, whether you're
(14:25):
male or female, I encourage yougo get a copy, read that book,
gift it out to many, because itis one of the best books ever
written and it is the fictionalstory that is depicted off of
the book of Hosea.
In the Bible and in the book ofHosea what we find is we find a
prophet for Israel, god'snation, and Israel was
(14:49):
fornicating against the ways ofGod.
You can pretty much look atAmerica today and see that we're
trying to take God out ofeverything.
And that's the same thing thatwas happening back in the day in
Israel when Hosea was a prophet, and what God did is a natural
depiction of the spiritual decaythat was happening in the land.
(15:10):
He actually had his prophetHosea marry a prostitute,
someone who was unfaithful tothe marriage vows and she would
keep returning to the work thatshe was accustomed to
prostitution.
And so you see Hosea, just thepain that he had to live in day
(15:33):
and the night that he had tolive in through this marriage
that God had him enter into, butbecause he loved the Lord and
he was faithful.
He did it and through that, godtransformed his heart into
truly loving her.
It's actually a beautiful storyand it's about God's heart,
(15:55):
after his people, that we canturn away from him every single
day, and yet he still pursues uswith love and he wants to be in
that covenant relationship withus.
And so, nicole, wow, when Ithink about just pieces of the
story that you shared with meand I'm going to let you share
what you would like to sharewith our listeners today but you
(16:16):
truly have the heart of Hosea,you have the heart of the Father
.
Where you can look at peopleand you can truly believe that
belief.
You can see the best in them.
Where you can look at peopleand you can truly believe that
belief.
You can see the best in themand you can believe that they're
going to transform to who Godcreated them to be.
So you live it out in yourpersonal life and you let people
you know really invite you intotheir space so you can help
(16:39):
them do it as well.
So, if you wouldn't mind justsharing a little bit of your
journey with your husband andhow it connects to you know the
story of Hosea that we find inthe Bible.
Speaker 2 (16:52):
Yeah, so it's not necessarily a calling that I
desired.
I mean, I remember being ayoung woman and talking to
people about you knowpotentially, you know who my
partner might be in the future,and I always said, oh, I'll
never marry somebody who'sdivorced because, you know, in
my, in my immaturity, I wouldthe my, my thought was my
(17:14):
arrogance.
Maybe I thought, well, they'reall messed up by somebody else,
so I don't, I don't want to.
You know, I don't want to gothere, right, I want somebody
who's never been married before.
And uh, god has a sense ofhumor because he brought to me a
man that has been marriedmultiple times and divorced
multiple times.
And uh, and yet, when we met,um, I first of all I was not
(17:39):
really looking for anybody atthat point.
I had been single and I was,you know, 35 years old and just
really focused on my career andrebuilding and all of that, and
so actually, when I met him thefirst time, I didn't even
realize that there was anythingthere, and he stayed in touch
(18:00):
for about three years and thenwe reconnected.
I was 38 and we're having thisconversation and it was just
like all of a sudden, everythingclicked and I'm like what did
you say?
And what did you say and whatLike it?
Just it happened so fast and weended up getting married very
(18:23):
quickly.
He's an American.
I was at that time living inCanada.
Now I live down in the U?
S and just became an Americancitizen.
But I was living in Canada andso we're talking on the phone
and it, just like I said, itjust clicked and so I ended up
coming down here and we ended upgetting married and I thought I
had married the love of my lifeand I thought this is amazing.
(18:47):
He is so attentive and presentand understands personal
development and business and allthe things.
And we just, you know, justthought it was amazing and it
was until it wasn't.
And there was.
He came to Canada with me and westarted to have some challenges
(19:09):
and he started to check out andthe old patterns started to
surface and I was like God, I'vedone, you know everything quote
unquote right, you know, I'mtrying to do the right thing.
I haven't done anything right.
I've made a lot of mistakes inmy life, but I felt like I was
(19:29):
trying to do the right thing.
Right, I'm trying to love theLord, follow in his ways.
And why me?
Why this?
You know, after all that myfamily had been through I had a
bunch of health issues, overcamethat.
Here I am, you know, and andI'm just like God, I'm trying to
(19:50):
do the right thing here, and Ithought I heard, I thought I
heard you say yes, like Ithought this was the guy you
know, and even the night beforewe got married because it was so
quick I was like, lord, youknow, if this is not the right
person, just tell me and I'lljust I'll walk away.
And I just felt such a peace inthat moment that I was like I
(20:14):
knew God was with me.
And so here we are.
Now, though, it's like seven,eight, nine months later, and
he's starting to distancehimself.
He actually went back toCalifornia sooner than I was
still getting things wrapped upback in Canada, and then, at one
point, he actually sent me atext and he said I'm sorry, a
(20:37):
text message.
It was an email.
And he said it's done, I'msorry, it's over.
And I'm like this is an email.
I'm like, dude, we are notdating, we are married.
Where are you at?
Like you're going to send me anemail to tell me it's over.
And so I was prepared, I hadpacked everything up and I was
getting ready to fly toCalifornia and he tells me like,
don't come.
(20:58):
And I'm like what?
And so, anyway, I waited a day.
My mother, in her wisdom, saidyou might want to wait a day,
and so I did.
And then I, the following day,flew out to California and found
him at his work.
And you know just, I just saidto him.
(21:18):
I said, like this is not okay,this is not how this goes right.
We don't just give up like that.
And and so he said, okay, I'lltry.
And I've never been a good, youknow, I've never been a big fan
of that word try, because it's,you know, I think of Tony.
Robbins who says you know,either try, you do it or you
(21:42):
don't.
What is it, yoda, do or do not.
There is no try and so, butthat was the most I was gonna
get from him.
So we, we started to try.
He tried, and about a yearlater so I came down here 2011.
And a year later, I had afranchise at the time, which was
Crazy Town, and I ended upwalking away from that franchise
(22:03):
because the system wasdysfunctional, and that was June
of 2012.
And a month later, I filed myapplication for permanent
residency and I said are we inthis?
And he said yes.
And a month later, he said myapplication for permanent
residency and I said are we inthis?
And he said yes.
And a month later, he said Ichanged my mind, I don't want to
be married, and I almost lostit, so continued to fight for
(22:27):
our marriage.
First of all, he was putting iton me that it was, you know,
some wrong with me, and so Iwent through that whole
self-acceptance, lack ofself-acceptance discovering that
I didn't love myself and really, god healed my heart and use
that time to help me torecognize how much he loves me,
how much I need to lean on himfor my value and and who I am,
(22:51):
my worth and uh, and for me tolearn to love myself.
And over the next couple ofyears, we ended up moving into a
place where we were livingseparately in separate rooms and
under the same roof, and heultimately moved out.
And during that time he wasunfaithful and he was lying
about it.
I knew it because I also amvery discerning of a prophetic
(23:14):
gift, and so I, uh, I wouldconfront him and it just went.
It went downhill and it wasworse and worse and I kept
trying to do everything I couldto uh to resolve it and it just
wasn't gonna, it just wasn'tworking.
And at some point long story,sorry, I'm making it this, don't
make it longer, but shorter umis that before he had moved out,
(23:40):
I remember being at the beachand it was like, um, it was
Malibu and I'm sitting in thecar and I was there for like
seven hours and I was like God,show me what to do.
I mean, show me what I'msupposed to do in this situation
.
He's jamming up against all myvalues.
Like I didn't get married young, I waited to get the find the
(24:04):
right person, cause I want to bemarried for life.
And here we are, and then he'slying and he's cheating and he's
pushing me away, and and I anddawned on me that he was trying
to be unlovable.
He literally did before we gotmarried.
I said there's two things thatI do not accept lying and
cheating.
Everything else I can workthrough a lot of tough stuff,
(24:26):
but those two things, no bueno,and those are the two, very
those are the two things that hedid.
And I was like what?
So he was jamming up against myvalues and at some point I
realized that he was alsojamming up against his own,
because deep down inside, hedidn't love himself and because
he didn't love himself, hecouldn't possibly allow me to
love him.
And so he was pushing me awayand he was trying to be
(24:49):
unlovable.
And it wasn't conscious, it wasunconscious, right, but he was
trying to be unlovable.
And I'm like God, what do I do?
And so I'm at the beach, I'mthere, it's like seven hours, I
don't hear anything, and finallyit's starting to get dark, and
so I I start packing up, and Ihad my journal there and I was
waiting to hear from him so Icould write it down.
(25:11):
And and uh, and all of a sudden, he starts to speak to me, and
the essence of what he said wasI wrote pages and the essence of
it.
What is what he said is loveyour husband.
And I'm like how do I do that?
And he said love your husband.
I'm like, okay, so I go backhome and I'm like I love you,
(25:34):
right, I believe in you.
That made it worse.
He was like I don't love you.
I don't understand why youwould love somebody who doesn't
love you and will never love you.
And he was not.
He's not a, he's not a yellerand he's not somebody who would
be like you know, verballyabusing me or calling me names
or whatever.
He was critical.
He's an engineer type, right,so he's critical, but and
(25:58):
judgmental he was, but it wasn'tlike he was you know foul
language or anything like that,but he was just like I will
never love you.
And and then so he moves out.
And then I said God, what do Ido now?
I thought that's what you I did, what you told me to do.
And here we are and he's withanother woman and another woman
(26:24):
like what am I supposed to do inthis?
Right, he doesn't refuse us totalk to me and won't, won't
respond to text messages.
And God finally says I alreadytold you love your husband.
And I'm like how am I supposedto do that?
I can't even talk to him.
Silence, so in prayer and goinglike God, what do I do with
(26:51):
this situation?
I realized that I could prayfor him, I could send him love
spiritually, and that's what Istarted to do over the next 18
months.
We didn't see each other, wedidn't talk.
He was totally checked out.
I could tell on Facebook he hadbeen with ex-girlfriends and an
ex-wife and all that, and I'mjust like Lord, have mercy, and
(27:12):
what's he doing?
And then I got to the pointwhere I just kept sending him
love, blessing him, wishing thebest for him, and I got to the
point where I realized thiswasn't an exercise in me trying
to get him back.
This was healing my heart andhelping me, teaching me how to
love big, to love and to forgive, even getting to the point
(27:37):
where I realized there's nothingto forgive because of the
blessing that was birthed out ofit.
At that point I realized, wow,this was the lesson, this was
what this was about.
This wasn't about him, this wasabout I mean, it was, but it's
about me, right, and myrelationship with him and how
much he loves me.
(27:58):
At one point I remember sayingGod, like you know, he's
committing adultery, or I thinkthis is actually the second time
.
So we actually fast forward.
So we went, so I'll come backto that in a second.
He, at some point it was liketwo and a half years since he
had been gone and I was like youknow what?
I need to move out of thisplace.
(28:19):
We were in LA, or I was in LAat that time and I was like I
need to move.
I need to move somewhere else,like change the scenery.
And so I contacted him, hopingthat he would check his message
and respond.
So I sent him a text messageand I said, look, if this is the
(28:41):
path you want to take and youdon't want to be married, then
fine, let's just get a divorce.
And so that's when we, um, wewent to the courthouse, we met
up there.
I was like, if we're going todo this, let's just do this.
And so I went to the courthouseand um met up with him there.
And it was funny because heactually showed up and he gave
me this warm hug and I was like,wow, that's interesting.
But I was like, let's justcontinue, let's get it.
(29:01):
You know, get it done.
And so we did.
And then afterwards we sat inthe garage and talked for a few
minutes and he was very chatty.
It was unusual for him and hesaid I hope you can forgive me
one day.
And I said, dude, I've alreadyforgiven you.
I've already forgiven you.
In fact, there is nothing morefor me to forgive you for.
(29:22):
In fact, I thank you for thisopportunity because of what it
has allowed me.
God used it for me to learn somuch about myself and about him
and just to love, to love um,deeper.
And so he says, wow, you'reamazing.
And I'm like, no, no, no, no,let's be clear, this is God's
love in, in through me, because,honestly, I'd strangle you.
(29:44):
But, um, god is gracious.
And so, anyway, through the nextnumber of days, he started to
rethink it and, uh, the processwas started with the divorce.
But he came back to me and hesaid you know what?
I'd like to give it another try, because I realized I might've
been really stupid.
And you know, I, I realize thatthat you're pretty amazing and
(30:05):
I want to be with you, right?
So I'm like, well, that's,that's really great, it's a nice
revelation.
But, and appreciate that, butwhat has let's talk about?
About this, because I don'twant to just jump back in right,
I'm not going through thismerry-go-round again.
And so over the next number ofmonths, we talked and got it all
on the table.
There was nothing off the table.
(30:27):
I asked him for the details andI wanted to understand and help
have him understand why thishappened, like what, for him to
recognize why he did certainthings and that caused him to do
that, so we could protectourselves in the future.
And we ended up getting backtogether and that was amazing.
(30:48):
Until it wasn't, next year camearound.
My dad had passed away the yearbefore suddenly, and then my
mom passes away in 2018.
And when I went to her funeralor to go home and deal with that
and wrap things up, I just feltthose old feelings.
(31:10):
Something was off.
He wasn't with me, but I justfelt like something intuitively
was off.
We couldn't connect me, but Ijust felt like something
intuitively was off.
We couldn't connect on thephone and whatever.
And so I came back to San Diegoand I was like what's going on?
And he's like nothing.
And I went nope, something'sgoing on.
Anyway, it turns out he hadbeen unfaithful again while I
(31:30):
was away and in the meantimealso, he had dismissed the
divorce papers the day that hehad dropped me off at the
airport, but a week later he'sin bed with somebody right.
And so I'm like what is goingon?
What are we doing here?
And I didn't know this.
But a couple of weeks later,the paperwork for the dismissed
(31:53):
or divorce was returned with anerror a clerical error on it or
whatever some typo and he tookthat as a sign and he finalized
our divorce instead ofresubmitting the same paperwork.
And so it was about a monthlater.
After that I was like where arewe at, talk to me, like what's
going on?
And he started to check outagain and I had said to him look
(32:16):
, if you want to get some helpfor this professional support,
I'll support you through that,but this, this isn't going to
work unless we do somethingabout this.
And uh, and that's when he toldme that we were actually
divorced already.
He'd already finalized it anddidn't tell me at that point.
Um, he said something to me.
He said you know what youdeserve better.
(32:37):
And I said you know, you'reright, I do, and so do you.
And in fact I said to him Isaid do you know what you
deserve?
And he kind of leaned back inhis chair.
He was sitting in his chair inhis office and he you know our
office and he leaned back and hewas just like bracing himself
(32:58):
and I said you deserve to beloved.
Speaker 1 (33:05):
So powerful.
Speaker 2 (33:07):
And yet it seemed I had to understand, I had to
respect his decisions, right,his actions.
I still loved him.
The difference the second timearound was that the second time
around it didn't shake me in myworthiness.
I was disappointed, but Iwasn't shaken because of where I
was standing with the Lord.
(33:28):
And so I said I love you and Ibelieve in you.
And he said to me he goes oh,you believe in my potential.
I said I love you and I believein you.
And he said to me he goes, oh,you believe in my potential.
I said, no, I see you as Godsees you.
That's what I believe in.
Yeah, it's your potential, butit's who I see you to be.
Anyway, I said but I also haveto respect your decisions and so
if this is the path you want totake, then I'm going to.
(33:50):
So when I moved out, and he wasactually surprised that I moved
out and I'm like well, you justdivorced me, what do you want me
to do?
So there was, like thisconflict I say that because and
I know I'm drawing out thisstory but this conflict in him,
but there's so much there, right, which hopefully somebody who's
listening will encourage them.
But anyway, I went on thisjourney with the Lord and he
(34:12):
just said come away with me.
I went on this journey with theLord and he just said come away
with me.
I just lost my father, mymother, my husband, my home and
my business had fallen apartbecause I just there's just a
lot going on.
Personally, I just didn't havethe energy and the emotional
capacity to focus on that.
And so he just said come awaywith me and rest.
(34:35):
And then he said do you trustme?
I'm like I rest.
And then he said do you trustme?
I'm like I trust you.
He's like do you trust me?
Do you trust me?
I'm like I trust you.
So I walked that out and overthe next three years, just
really walking with the Lord,rebuilding my life, coming back,
I went to Canada for a littlewhile, came back, knew I needed
(34:57):
to be in California and thenthree years later I get a.
I get a Facebook message hey,I'm moving back, cause he had
moved up to Oregon and Arizonaand wandering around and and uh
in different places and stuff,and and um, and he says I'm
coming back to San Diego and I'mlike good for you, enjoy, right
.
Speaker 1 (35:17):
And Nicole, this is Nicole.
This is where I want to saydon't take the Facebook message.
That's like, that's my fleshlyreaction when I'm hearing your
story and I, I'm sure likelisteners are like, oh, he's
coming back on the scene again.
And if you read the book ofHosea, I'm telling you that's
what Hosea walked out.
And so go ahead, nicole, keepgoing.
Speaker 2 (35:41):
So I get the Facebook message and it was early
morning and I'm like what, right, and what I told him was good
luck with that.
But inside I was, I was mad.
I was mad.
I was like he wasn't justcoming back to San Diego, he was
coming back to San Diego towork for his former boss, which
(36:02):
was best friends, which is mybest friend's husband.
And I'm like, really, youcouldn't find anybody in all of
the U?
S to hire as your auto, youknow automotive tech.
You had to hire my ex-husbandback.
Like now he's going to be backin my space, right.
So there was like a lot ofemotions, even though I had
(36:22):
forgiven him.
But I was like I just didn'twant to go back into that space,
right, and to be confrontedwith that.
It was just like I'm over this,I want to move on.
And so, anyway, long storyshort, kept reaching out and, uh
, sending me another facebook.
Hey, you know this that I'mlike what is he doing?
Finally, it was a few monthslater.
I finally said, god, what isthis?
(36:44):
And I just felt God's peace andI said, like should I respond
to him or what do I do this?
And so we ended up having aconversation.
He wanted to apologize, hewanted to complete, and I said,
fine, done.
And then we started to talkagain and I'm like I can't do
this again.
Was this the third time around?
(37:04):
What am I nuts, right?
And I just trusted him Like God, I need you in this moment.
I had such a strong relationshipwith the Lord at that point.
It was him and I going throughlife together, right and um, my
brother was still there.
He's in Canada and he was goingthrough a lot of stuff there,
so I was a support for him.
I really just it was me and Godyou know, and I'm like Lord,
(37:27):
what is this?
And uh, anyway, long storyshort, so at some point I said
to him.
I said, look, you know what hewas like.
Well, maybe we should try again.
I said, look, here's the thingwe're divorced now.
Last time around we wereseparated.
We want to try it again.
That's one thing.
This time around, we'redivorced.
The next person that I marry isgoing to be aligned.
(37:48):
I want to be evenly yoked.
I want a person.
And I showed him my littleshort list, which is not my
perfection list, but it is alist of non-negotiables, and I
had it on my wall actually in myroom and my in my closet, and I
said, look, this is what I'mlooking for.
I'm not saying you need tochange, I'm just saying this is
what I am looking for.
(38:12):
And that person loves the Lord,because I've tried it, I've
tried it, we've tried it.
You know he grew up in aChristian home but it kind of
strayed away and he's anintellect, so you know he's got
all the logical reasons why theBible is not and all the things
whatever.
But I was like searching right,constantly.
He was searching and so I justsaid this is is what I'm looking
for.
And one of the things that hehad done in that journey was he
(38:34):
had gotten to the point or thatthree years he'd gotten to the
point where he loved himself,which was great and that is
that's important.
But it's not just the love thatwe have for ourself, it's the
love that god has for us is somuch, even like beyond.
That is so much more important.
And he hadn't quite got to thatpoint yet and I was like I'm so
glad that you love yourself,I'm so glad that you have
(38:56):
accepted everything that you areand everything that you're not
beautiful.
I need a guy who loves the Lordand who walks with him.
I want a three cord strand.
That's what's going to make amarriage work.
And so, anyway, um, at somepoint in in that, I was like,
look, you don't need to change,I'm not saying, I'm just telling
you that this is why you know,uh, where I'm at.
(39:17):
And so he asked to come tochurch.
He came to our sir I've youknow.
I was like, I don't know, do Iwant him to come to our church?
It's a small church, um, but hecame and, uh, he heard the
message from our pastor and heturned to me in the service,
like it was a couple minutes in,and he goes this is different.
(39:38):
And I said I know Cause you saychurches like this and churches
like that.
He grew up in a hypocriticalchurch and they say one thing
and do another and all thisstuff and um, and very small
town, oppressed religious churchand he goes.
This is different and I saidyeah, it is, it got his
attention.
Speaker 3 (39:58):
He came for me, he stayed for him and so he stayed
he dedicated his life to thelord he got baptized, he got in
a men's group.
Speaker 2 (40:11):
He's serving he's actually serves in security.
Now he heads up the team.
We do facilities together andcover that team.
It's been amazing and yeah, andhe asked me to remarry him and
so we ended up getting remarriedin May of 2022.
So it's been almost two yearsit's so good.
(40:35):
And to your point.
I had a lot of people that saidto me in some form or other are
you nuts Like?
Either you are a masochist andyou're just this is three, I
said to him.
Speaker 3 (40:48):
I said, look, it's, either this is three, three
times the charm, or threestrikes you're out.
I'm not sure, but the but.
I said, the time will tell, butbut I have to believe that
transformation is.
Speaker 2 (41:02):
I know God is in the business of transforming lives.
Be transformed by the renewingof your mind.
God can change somebody's heart.
I can't change somebody's heart.
God can change somebody's heart.
I can't change somebody's heart.
Nobody can change somebody'sheart.
God can change, just like inthe story of Hosea with his wife
is God can change somebody'sheart to soften their heart.
And for him, for my husband,it's really becoming who he's a.
(41:24):
He's a kind, sweet, sensitive,gentle man.
He's like a gentle giant.
He's six foot three.
Doesn't raise his voice.
He has, actually, he doesn'teven realize it, boy, he didn't.
He does now.
He didn't even realize that hehad the spirit of the Lord in
him, but he didn't reallyrecognize it because there were
signs.
I could see it, I could see thepotential in what God was doing
(41:46):
in his life and that's why I,that's why I, I just I was like
trusting God.
I'm like, okay, now there was apoint, even as we were leading
up to the, to the wedding, and Iwas like like, what happens if
right, what happens if thishappens again?
And it was like can I trust myheart with him?
(42:07):
And it was like God saying canyou trust your heart with me so
powerful.
It's not about him.
It's about him, but it's notabout him.
Can you trust your heart issafe with me, no matter what
happens, and from that place Ican move into a marriage with
(42:29):
somebody with a history likethat and believe and trust.
And there has been times whereI've been triggered since
getting remarried and you know,in the last couple of years I
have been triggered at certaintimes and I've had to bring that
to him and bring that to, mostimportantly, to the Lord, and be
like God.
(42:50):
Help me to heal those parts ofmy heart that are still wounded
Um, so that I don't bring thepast into the present and into
the future and God justcontinues to remind me.
This is why the Bible says youdon't trust in man.
I'm not saying I don't trusthim.
What I'm saying is you don'ttrust it.
You trust in me and I knoweverything.
(43:10):
I'm beginning from thebeginning to the end.
I know it.
I'm the alpha and the omega.
I know all, I see all.
Trust in me.
Amen.
If there's something that youneed to see, I'll show it, but
don't go looking around lookingfor it, because all you're doing
is you're trying to be God andyou're trying to protect
(43:30):
yourself from getting hurt againand in the process, it becomes
a self-fulfilling prophecy,right?
So it's been a journey of trustin God and experiencing the
peace of God, knowing that he'sgot me and he's got both of us.
And, of course, I pray over ourmarriage, I pray over my
husband, we pray together everynight and you know, I just I'm
(43:53):
declaring peace and I'mdeclaring that we are safe under
the shelter of his wings, right?
So, anyway, but yeah,transformation is um, is not
something that you can teach andor coach about from a position
of theory.
You kind of got to walk through, you got to get it.
I mean, I, you got to get itand you got to get it.
Speaker 1 (44:17):
Amen.
And you know, gosh, I just lovethe notion that you lead with
you're in the business oftransformation and you gotta you
gotta be the change, you gottabelieve in the change and the
fact that you get your strengthand source of uh just wisdom and
knowledge that thetransformation can happen from
(44:38):
the Lord.
Uh, that's the source ofeverything, and so I just thank
you.
I mean, wow, just to to be sotransparent, authentic,
vulnerable, willing to shareyour story.
There's so many people outthere Maybe they don't have the
exact story that you have, wherewe marry our husband and then
(44:58):
we get the opportunity toremarry him again and go through
the hardships, but everymarriage has pain and hurt and
it's called life on this side ofheaven.
And so I know without a shadowof a doubt that your
authenticity and vulnerabilityin your story of redeeming love
(45:18):
uh is just an inspiration to allthose who are listening, and I
hope the listeners uh share itso other people can also be
inspired and to reallyunderstand where does the source
of change come from?
It comes from him above, and Iwant the whole world to connect
with you.
Speaker 2 (45:39):
Can I say one more thing on?
Speaker 1 (45:40):
that yeah, absolutely .
Speaker 2 (45:42):
Can I just say one more thing on that Is that this
idea of soulmates is a popularone that you know.
This idea of soulmates is apopular one that people talk
about finding my soulmate, youknow, and my husband at one
point said I thought it wassupposed to flow, it was
supposed to be easy.
You know, everything's supposedto be smooth and I'm like, oh,
it takes work, Anything takeswork, Right.
(46:02):
And I saw it in my parents, sawit in my brother's marriage,
seen it in many others.
It takes intention work, not ina hard, negative way, but in an
intention about buildingsomething, anything of value.
You know, it takes work and itoccurred to me at some point
that I realized this whole ideaof soulmate is that with, with
(46:25):
calvin.
You know, we actually sometimes, I guess, soulmates bring out
the best in you.
Right, that's the idea.
Right, they bring out the bestin each other.
But sometimes they got to bringout the worst in each other to
bring it to the surface so thatGod can do his healing work.
(46:45):
Work.
Calvin brought out the worst inme, in my own lack of
self-acceptance, self-loathing,self-hatred, judgment, criticism
, and I brought the worst out inhim so that part could be
healed in him.
(47:05):
Now we're not perfect, but ifwe actually recognize that
that's what's happening, it'snot that, oh, you know what.
Maybe I made the mistake, maybewe shouldn't be in this
marriage, this person, I shouldgo find somebody else.
What if we actually looked atit like, wow, you know what this
person is helping to bringsomething, it's a gift.
That's why I say there wasnothing to forgive him for, it
(47:25):
was a gift.
I'm grateful, thank you.
Thank you for this experience,the total reframe on it, because
of how God that's really.
It's like God.
What was meant for our harm,god turned for our good.
Joseph reframed it and saidthank you for doing that,
because if you hadn't sold meinto slavery, I wouldn't be here
(47:48):
, I wouldn't be able to save ourfamily and save all these other
families.
Speaker 1 (47:55):
And he also says what's in the dark, bring to
light so it can be dealt with.
And so many times we just wantto push it down, we don't want
to deal with it, we want toignore it, and that very thing
is allowing the enemy to takethe territory.
And so let it come into thelight and deal with it, and God
will turn it into good, amen.
Well, nicole, I just thank youso much for your time today.
(48:17):
You're such a blessing,certainly to me and I know all
the listeners.
I've gotten so much out of this.
I've been married for a littleover 20 years and all your
nuggets of wisdom are just goingto it's literally seeds into a
fertile ground of my heart.
I hope it's fertile anyway.
That's going to just bear fruitfor the Lord in my marriage.
And I know so many and I wantso many people to connect with
(48:40):
you, and so you can find Nicoleat leadersoftransformationcom.
There's just a tremendousamount of information out there
that she has available, that youcan connect and learn more
about her work and how she caneven help you on your journey.
So with that, I'm going to prayus out, okay.
So, heavenly Father, thank youso much for this time that
(49:01):
you've given us today.
I just thank you for yourtestimony in the life of Nicole.
I just thank you for hermarriage to Calvin in the life
of Nicole, I just thank you forher marriage to Calvin and I
thank you that it's just aliving, breathing testimony of
the power of your redemptivelove, that when we truly fix our
eyes on you, anything ispossible.
Lord, I just thank you for everylistener and I just ask that,
(49:22):
as we leave this time together,that you continue to protect and
guide each and every one of usand just continue to reveal our
way.
Lord, we love you.
We do this for your glory andyour honor.
In the name of Jesus, we prayAmen.
Thank you for joining us onthis episode of Grow, where God
(49:42):
reveals our way.
We hope you found inspiration,wisdom and encouragement as we
continue on this faith-filledjourney together.
We invite you to subscribe toGrow so you never miss an
episode.
Stay tuned for more biblicalteachings, heartfelt testimonies
and insights that will nourishyour spirit and deepen your
relationship with God.
We appreciate your support andparticipation in this podcast.
(50:04):
Until next time, may you growin faith, love and knowledge of
his divine plan.
May God bless you abundantly.
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