A Line in the Sand: Identity Grief & Stepping Into Who You’re Becoming

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Today’s episode marks a deeply meaningful transition.

In this personal and reflective solo episode, Dr Nat Green shares why she has chosen not to re-register as a Clinical Psychologist after 35 years in the profession — and why, instead of feeling heavy or sorrowful, this decision feels grounded, aligned, and freeing.

This is not a rejection of psychology.
 It’s the completion of an identity — and the conscious integration of lived experience, professional wisdom, and post-traumatic growth into a new chapter of work.

In this episode, Dr Nat explores what it means to:

• honour an identity that has completed without bitterness or rebellion
• navigate identity grief — the quiet, often unnamed grief that can accompany growth
• step into a new version of yourself with integrity, nervous system safety, and self-trust

This conversation is especially for you if:

• you feel like you’ve outgrown a role, title, or version of yourself
• you’re on the edge of a transition and unsure how to let go with clarity
• you’ve done a lot of inner work but sense there’s another chapter calling
• you want reassurance that growth doesn’t have to come through collapse

✨ In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

• Why identity completion is not failure — but maturity
• How identity grief shows up (even when a decision feels right)
• The difference between burnout, rebellion, and true alignment
• Why nervous system regulation matters more than rushing to redefine yourself
• Three grounded strategies to support yourself through an identity shift
• How ethical, embodied transformation can exist beyond traditional systems

🧭 Three Grounded Identity Transition Practices Shared:

1. Honour the identity you are completing — recognise what it gave you before moving on
2. Allow identity grief without pathologising it — grief means it mattered
3. Regulate before you redefine — somatic clarity precedes identity clarity

💬 A Reflection to Sit With:

What identity is completing for you right now?
 And what would it look like to honour it — instead of forcing yourself to outgrow it faster than your system is ready for?

📝 Important Note

This episode is shared for reflection, education, and personal growth.
 It is not therapy and does not replace professional mental health care.
 If you are experiencing distress or need additional support, please reach out to a qualified mental health professional.

🌱 About Dr Nat Green

Dr Nat Green is a former Clinical Psychologist of 35 years, now a trauma-informed transformational coach, speaker, author, and host of Growing Tall Poppies. Her work sits at the intersection of identity, nervous system regulation, post-traumatic growth, and integrated leadership, supporting people who are ready to move beyond survival and truly thrive.

If this episode resonates with you then I'd love for you to hit SUBSCRIBE so you can keep updated with each new episode as soon as it's released and we'd be most grateful if you would give us a RATING as well. You can also find me on Instagram https://www.instagram.com/drnatgreen/ or on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/DrNatalieGreen

Intro and Outro music: Inspired Ambient by Playsound.

Disclaimer: This podcast is intended for educational purposes only. It is not intended to be deemed or treated as psychological treatment or to replace the need for psychological treatment.

Episode Transcript

Speaker 3 (00:01):
Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and I'm so excited tohave you join me as we discuss
what it means to navigate yourway through post-traumatic
growth and not just survive, butto thrive after trauma.

(00:23):
Through our podcast, we willexplore ways for you to create a
life filled with greaterpurpose, self-awareness, and a
deep inner peace.
Through integrating the manyyears of knowledge and
professional experience, as wellas the wisdom of those who have
experienced trauma firsthand.

(00:44):
We'll combine psychologyaccelerated approaches.
Coaching and personal experienceto assist you, to learn, to grow
and to thrive.
I hope to empower you to createdeeper awareness and
understanding and strongerconnections with yourself and
with others, whilst also pavingthe way for those who have

(01:08):
experienced trauma and adversityto reduce their suffering and
become the very best versions ofthemselves.
In order to thrive.
Thank you so much for joining meon today's episode.

Speaker (01:24):
Hello and welcome back to Growing Tall Poppies, thrive
After Trauma.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and I am so glad thatyou've joined me today.
This episode is a deeplypersonal one.
And it feels somewhat differentto record with some mixed

(01:48):
emotions of both tenderness andexcitement.
Today marks a significanttransition point in my life and
in my work.
As I record this.
Today is my final day as aregistered clinical
psychologist.

(02:09):
That's not something I everimagined saying, and it's
certainly not a decision thatI've made lightly.
I really thought this day wouldfeel challenging, heavy,
emotional, but what surprised memost is how comfortable I
actually feel with thisdecision.

(02:31):
I've spent 35 years in thisprofession.
35 years of learning practice,deepest of human connections,
considerable responsibility, andundoubtedly a huge privilege.
And while I expected this momentto feel heavy or emotional, what

(02:55):
I actually feel is somethingquieter, a deep sense of
rightness.
Before I say anything else, Iwanna say this clearly and with
integrity, I have enormousrespect for psychology,
evidence-based practice, forethical frameworks, and for the

(03:17):
clinicians doing extraordinarywork every single day.
This decision that I'm making isnot about rejecting the field,
it's about recognizing that achapter of my own identity.
Has now completed, it feels likea line in the sand moment, the

(03:38):
end of an era.
Yes, but also the beginning ofsomething genuinely exciting.
It feels like closing one doorand opening up many more
opportunities that simply wouldnot have been possible had I
continued with my registration.

(03:58):
I actually feel excited, reallykeen to keep moving forward in
the direction that I'm goingbecause what this decision gives
me is the ability to show upfully as me, authentically, and
to share my story in the hopethat.
It can make a difference toother people as well, and show

(04:21):
you that you're not alone.
My story is a huge part of who Iam and how I've come to do this
current work in the first place.
I will always be thankful.
Always grateful for the clientsI've worked with, for the career
that I've had for the colleaguesand the opportunities that

(04:44):
psychology has given me, andit's time, time to move forward.
It feels to me like the nexttrue step forward, like the
natural evolution of who I'vebecome, not just professionally,
but personally.

(05:04):
And if you've been listening inthe last couple of months, you
know that there was a bigturning point for me whilst in
Europe as I shed more layers andcontinued to step fully into
post-traumatic growth.
And this also really fueled thedecision that I've made today.

(05:30):
That's what I wanna talk to youabout today, what it means to
honor completion, to let anidentity finish with gratitude
and to step forward withoutbitterness rebellion, or burn
the bridge energy.
'cause I don't believe growthalways looks loud.
Sometimes it looks grounded.

(05:53):
Sometimes it looks quiet andsometimes it simply looks
honest.
Over the years, I've had thehonor of working with thousands
of clients, people who'vetrusted me with their stories,
their pain, their nervoussystems, their survival, and

(06:16):
their hope.
And I genuinely hope, and Ibelieve that I made a difference
to many of them.
Psychology has taught me how tolisten deeply, how to hold
complexity without rushing tofix, how to value safety,
consent, and containment.

(06:39):
Those lessons will never leaveme, and they absolutely inform
how I work now.
So I wanna be very clear.
Nothing I do moving forwarderases or discredits those years
'cause they've built me.
And what I've come to realize isthis, I can't fully move forward

(07:03):
into my next chapter whilekeeping one foot anchored in an
identity that for me has alreadycompleted.
To step forward.
Something had to be closed.
Not rejected, not dismissed, butrespectfully completed.
And as soon as I allowed myselfto really name that what I felt

(07:26):
wasn't grief or fear, it wasfreedom.
Freedom to write the nextchapter of my life without
filtering myself through a rolethat no longer fully fits.
And truthfully, there came apoint where I could no longer

(07:49):
unsee what my clients werecapable of.
I watched people move beyondsurvival, beyond symptom
reduction, beyond simplymanaging.
I saw identity shift leadershipemerge, and capacity expand.
And I also noticed somethingelse.

(08:10):
In them and in myself that thesystems and the structures that
I was operating within could nolonger hold the full depth or
speed of the transformation thatwas possible.
For me personally.
This was compounded by my ownlived experience, trauma

(08:33):
burnout.
Undoubtedly post-traumaticgrowth, not theory, not
textbooks.
Lived embodied transformation.
And when you go through thatkind of identity recalibration,
you don't come back the same.
At some point, continuing topractice in the same way began

(08:56):
to feel like compression, notalignment.
And I wanna be very clear here.
This isn't about turning my backon psychology.
It's not about rejectingevidence, ethics, or
responsibility.
It's about acknowledging thatthe approach I now work from the

(09:17):
accelerated, deeply embodiedtransformation that I've seen
again and again and again withcoaching clients, with my A BS
method is not always welcomed oreasily held within traditional
systems.
And once you've seen what'spossible, once you've witnessed

(09:37):
growth, healing and identityshifts happen faster with more
integration and with moreagency, you can't unsee that.
I certainly couldn't.
Now, I wanna pause here becausethis matters.

(09:57):
Stepping away from registrationdoes not mean abandoning ethics.
It does not mean abandoningresponsibility, and it does not
mean pretending that trauma issimple or that everyone is ready
for accelerated work.
What it means is this, I'mchoosing to work within a

(10:18):
different scope with people whoare not in acute psychological
crisis, who have already donesignificant work, who are ready
to integrate, to lead, and togrow.
I'll always refer out whenclinical support is needed.
I'll always work within mycompetencies and I'll always

(10:41):
prioritize nervous systemsafety, autonomy and choice.
Integrity is not created by atitle alone.
It's created by self-awarenessboundaries and ethical decision
making.
And this step allows me todeliver the work that I strongly

(11:02):
believe in without feelingconstrained to minimize what I
know is possible.
So what I'm really marking todayis not a resignation.
It's an integration.
I'm not walking away from who Iwas.
I'm including her.
The psychologist, the traumatrained clinician, the

(11:24):
researcher, the thinker, thebreakthrough coach, and also the
woman who has lived throughtrauma, burnout, loss
recalibration, and significantgrowth.
The woman who understandsidentity from the inside out,
the woman who knows that healingis often just the doorway, not

(11:46):
the destination.
This is where my work now lives.
At the intersection of identity,nervous system regulation, and
conscious expansion, helpingpeople move from surviving who
they became as a result of whatthey've been through to choosing
who they wanna be next so theycan truly thrive.

(12:11):
So yes, I'm now fully steppinginto transformational coaching.
Fully embracing this identity,serving the people I know are
out there, people ready to doprofound, meaningful integrative
work.
People who've already survived,already healed in many ways, and
now want to thrive, expand, andlive more authentically.

(12:36):
And this step.
Allows me to do the work that Ifeel that I was born to do, to
make the difference that I'vealways wanted to make in the
world, to do so from a place ofintegrity, alignment, and deep
respect for each person'sjourney.

(12:57):
So let me reassure you, if youare listening to this and
feeling something stir.
A sense that maybe you areoutgrowing an identity, a role,
a version of yourself.
I want you to hear this partclearly.
You too may be standing on theedge of an identity shift of
your own, not because somethingis wrong, but because who you

(13:22):
are becoming now doesn't quitefit the role that got you this
far.
You are allowed to completechapters with gratitude.
You do not need a breakdown tojustify a breakthrough, and
growth doesn't require burningyour past to the ground.
Sometimes the most powerfultransformation is simply saying,

(13:46):
this has served me and now I'mready for what comes next.
And that moment often comes withsomething we rarely name,
identity, grief.
This is the part that I think wedon't talk about enough.
Identity grief isn't aboutregret, it's about relational

(14:08):
loss.
It's about letting go of whoyou've been known as.
What once gave you safety orstructure, the version of you
who coped, achieved, adapted,survived, or succeeded.
Even when the new chapter feelsright, grief can still be
present.
You can feel relief and sadness,excitement and fear and

(14:35):
hesitation.
Freedom, clarity and tenderness.
That doesn't mean you'reconflicted.
It means you're human.
It means that what you arecompleting mattered.
And I've undoubtedly gonethrough that identity grief

(14:55):
process from making thedecision, feeling unsettled for
quite some time to knowing that.
This is exactly what needed tohappen for me.
So just wanted to sharere-grounded strategies for

(15:16):
navigating an identity shift.
So number one, honor theidentity that you are
completing.
Most people try to move onwithout acknowledging what's
ending.
So instead, try this.
Ask yourself three questions.
What did this identity give me?

(15:38):
What strengths did I developbecause of it, and who did I
become through it?
You don't need a ceremony.
But you do need recognition andcompletion creates stability.
Avoidance creates fragmentation.

(16:00):
So it's really important thatyou honor the identity that you
are completing.
And number two, allow youridentity grief without making it
a problem.
Here's something important.
Grief does not mean that you'regoing backward or that you've
made the wrong decision.

(16:21):
If emotion surfaces, and I canassure you that it will let it
move through the body withoutneeding a story or a solution,
notice it without trying toresolve it and remind yourself
this is a transition, not acollapse.

(16:43):
And a helpful reframe can bethat grief is not a sign that
you made the wrong choice.
It's a sign that this chapterwas significant to you and what
you are leaving mattered.
And thirdly, let's look atregulating before you redefine

(17:05):
one of the biggest mistakespeople make.
It's trying to think their wayinto a new identity.
Identity isn't createdcognitively.
It's stabilized somatically.
It happens within our nervoussystem.
So before committing to labels,titles, or public declarations,

(17:30):
ask, does my body feel settledwhen I imagine this next step?
Can I breathe more fully here?
Do I feel more spacious orcontracted?
Nervous system safety precedesidentity clarity.
If the next step feels morespacious, more grounding, more

(17:55):
honest, in your nervous system,that is information worth
trusting.
So let this be your gentlepermission slip.
If you're listening and feelinguncertain in between or not

(18:15):
ready to fully claim what'snext, then please hear this.
You don't have to arrive beforeyou're allowed to leave.
You're allowed to transitionslowly.
You're allowed to experiment.
You're allowed to integrate.
I certainly did.

(18:37):
I've been in this in-betweenplace for at least the past
year, but I know now that it'stime.
So identity shifts don't needurgency, but they do need
honesty.
Let me just return to my ownreflection.
For me, this decision didn'tcome from burnout alone.

(19:02):
Or from trauma.
It didn't come from frustrationor rebellion.
It came from alignment fromknowing that to truly show up,
to truly serve and to truly beauthentic, I needed to allow one
identity to complete so the nextcould emerge fully.

(19:24):
From knowing that I can nowserve from a place that
integrates professional wisdom,lived experience, ethical
responsibility, and the capacityfor accelerated, embodied
transformation, I'm not leavingbehind who I was.

(19:45):
I am carrying her forwardincluded, and today for me.
That honestly looks likefreedom.
So I'll leave you with thisreflection.
What identity is completing foryou right now and what would it
look like to honor it instead offorcing yourself to outgrow it

(20:11):
faster than your system is readyfor?
Completion is not the end ofcontribution.
Often, it's actually thebeginning of your most authentic
chapter.
Thank you from the bottom of myheart for being here with me.

(20:31):
Thank you truly for being partof this journey.
Thank you for listening, forWalking alongside me and for
allowing me to share this momentwith you.
I so deeply appreciate you alland I will always be grateful
for my.
35 years as a psychologist, andI'm equally committed to what

(20:53):
comes next to work that isaligned to transformation, that
is embodied to leadership, thatis integrated and to helping you
and others step into their nextchapter with clarity instead of
fear.
Thank you so much for walkingalongside me in this season and

(21:16):
in what's unfolding next.
I'm so excited for what comesnext for me and more importantly
for you.
So until next time, keep growingtall and keep shining brightly.
Bye for now.

Speaker 2 (21:39):
Thank you for joining me in this episode of Growing
Tall Poppies.
It is my deepest hope thattoday's episode may have
inspired and empowered you tostep fully into your
post-traumatic growth, so thatyou can have absolute clarity
around who you are, what mattersthe most to you, and to assist

(22:01):
you to release your negativeemotions.
And regulate your nervous systemso you can fully thrive.
New episodes are published everyTuesday, and I hope you'll
continue to join us as weexplore both the strategies and
the personal qualities requiredto fully live a life of

(22:21):
post-traumatic growth and tothrive.
So if it feels aligned to youand really resonates, then I
invite you to hit subscribe andit would mean the world to us.
If you could share this episodewith others who you feel may
benefit too, you may also findme on Instagram at Growing Tall

(22:42):
Poppies and Facebook, Dr.
Natalie Green.
Remember, every moment is anopportunity to look for the
lessons and to learn andincrease your ability to live
the life you desire and deserve.
So for now, stay connected.
Stay inspired.

(23:03):
Stand tall like the tall poppyyou are, and keep shining your
light brightly in the world.
Bye for.