Healing Was Only the Beginning: How to Lead from Wholeness After Trauma

Episode Transcript
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Dr Nat Green (00:01):
Welcome to the Growing Tall Poppies Podcast.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and I'm so excited tohave you join me as we discuss
what it means to navigate yourway through post-traumatic
growth and not just survive, butto thrive after trauma.

(00:23):
Through our podcast, we willexplore ways for you to create a
life filled with greaterpurpose, self-awareness, and a
deep inner peace.
Through integrating the manyyears of knowledge and
professional experience, as wellas the wisdom of those who have
experienced trauma firsthand.

(00:44):
We'll combine psychologyaccelerated approaches.
Coaching and personal experienceto assist you, to learn, to grow
and to thrive.
I hope to empower you to createdeeper awareness and
understanding and strongerconnections with yourself and
with others, whilst also pavingthe way for those who have

(01:08):
experienced trauma and adversityto reduce their suffering and
become the very best versions ofthemselves.
In order to thrive.
Thank you so much for joining meon today's episode.
Hi everyone, and welcome back toGrowing Tall Poppies, thrive

(01:32):
After Trauma.
I'm your host, Dr.
Nat Green, and today's episodeis a little different.
It's not about a guest, a newframework or even a specific
strategy.
This one's coming straight fromthe heart, from my heart to
yours because over the past fewmonths.

(01:54):
I've been feeling a deep shift,one that's changing not just how
I work, but how I see growth,healing, and what I believe it
truly means to thrive.
It's about a moment, one thatchanged how I see healing
leadership and the work thatwe're all here to do.

(02:19):
It's raw, it's reflective, andit's marking a new chapter.
Both for me and for thispodcast.
So settle in, take a deepbreath, and maybe even grab
yourself a cup.
That's exactly what I'm gonna dobecause this one's straight from
the heart.

(02:42):
There's something about sittingby the ocean that brings
everything back into focus andgreater clarity, isn't there?
That soft rhythm of the waves,the salt in the air, the sea
breeze through your hair and thewarmth of a coffee cup in your
hands.

(03:03):
It's like the world finallyslows down just enough for the
truth to catch up.
And I remember one of thosemoments earlier this year, I
found myself doing exactly that.
I had been in the thick of lifeand work sessions, projects,
deadlines, you know, it, all ofit meaningful, all of it

(03:28):
purposeful, and yet somethingwithin me felt quietly restless.
So I was sitting at my usualtable at my fave cafe by the
beach.
Just doing some writing.
'cause that's where I love to domy writing and just watching the

(03:49):
tide roll in the world feltquiet, almost eerily quiet.
My nervous system wasn't inoverdrive and for once I wasn't
doing anything.
I was just being.

(04:11):
And it was there in that spaceof stillness that something
inside me whispered almost likethe ocean itself was speaking.
It was quite bizarre, to behonest, and I've got this really
clear message that healing isn'tthe destination, it's just the
doorway.

(04:34):
I just sat there staring out atthe horizon.
Watching a small pod of dolphinsplaying in some waves, just
letting those words land.
I actually felt them deep withinme.
It landed so softly and yet sopowerfully that I almost laughed

(04:56):
because really hadn't I beensaying versions of this for
years, but this time I didn'tjust know it.
I felt it deep within my bones.
Almost in my soul.
And I could see how often we,especially those of us in the
helping professions, poureverything into the healing

(05:17):
journey.
We read, we research, wereflect, we release, we
regulate, we do the deep work,and it changes us.
And somewhere along the way westarted believing that healed is
the end point.
Once we've reached someinvisible line of wholeness,

(05:40):
we'll finally arrive.
And it was as I was sittingthere that morning that I
realized that's where most of usstop.
Not because we lack courage,we've usually got that in bucket
loads, but because we've neverbeen shown what comes next.

(06:02):
For years, my work had revolvedaround helping people heal from
trauma, reclaiming safetyidentity, and finding balance.
It's powerful work.
It's sacred work, and it reallyis such a privilege.
But in that quiet moment, I sawthe pattern.

(06:27):
We spend years doing that deepwork, the therapy, the breath
work, the somatic stuff, theTRE, the inner child healing,
nervous system regulation, allof it.
And somewhere along the way westart to believe that once we've
healed enough, we'll arrive atour desired destination and that

(06:50):
healing is the end point.
But what I've discovered inmyself, in my clients, and in so
many practitioners and leadersthat I've mentored over the
years, is that healing is onlyreally the beginning.
It's the foundation, not thefinale.

(07:15):
Because once our pain softens.
Once the survival patternsquieten down, a new question
starts to emerge, who am I nowbeyond the trauma?

(07:35):
And that's the moment where thenext chapter begins, the one
where we stop simply survivingour story and start writing a
new one.
It's where healing turns intocreation.
It's where the magic can trulystart to happen.
Where we start leading, loving,and living from integration, not

(07:59):
from protection.
And that realization sittingthere with my coffee and the
sound of the waves changedeverything.
For me, it was the beginning ofa deeper understanding that the
journey isn't just about healingthe past.
It really has to be aboutembodying the future.

(08:22):
Healing teaches us how to comehome to ourselves.
But thriving asks, now that youare home, what will you build
here?
And then a few months ago, asyou know, I traveled through

(08:46):
Europe.
And it was always gonna be asymbolic moment and a line in
the sand moment.
I could feel that, and itabsolutely became this deeply
symbolic shedding of layers.
But it turned out to besomething so much deeper.
It became a pilgrimage of sorts,a shedding of layers I didn't

(09:09):
even know I was still carrying.
I walked through the streets ofParis and Florence through old
cathedrals and cobblestonelanes, and something in me began
to quiet.
I walk through places like Ieper(Ypres) in Belgium, a place
steeped in both horror, andrebirth and the Holocaust Museum

(09:34):
in Amsterdam, and feeling thisprofound sense of perspective.
Then onto Rome where we stood inancient ruins and quiet
cathedrals.
And then I also sat in the SwissAlps and for the first time

(09:55):
allowed myself to rest andreplenish.
And I felt something awakeninglike I mean truly awakening.
It's really hard to describe andinner knowing that the next
stage of my own post-traumaticgrowth was well and truly here.

(10:16):
Generations before us had walkedthrough devastation and they
somehow rebuilt.
And in that moment I realizedthat's what we do too.
Not just individually, butcollectively.
We rebuild, we rise, and wereimagine.

(10:37):
Everywhere I went, whether itwas in art galleries, in train
stations, in those slow morning,not overly enjoyable coffees, I
felt life whispering.
The same message that I'd heardat the beach.

(10:57):
It's time to live.
The integration, not to studyit.
Not to intellectualize it, butto fully embody it.
I just felt that it was nolonger enough for me to talk
about trauma informed practice.

(11:19):
I wanted to live traumaintegrated leadership where our
healing isn't a chapter that wereference, but the lens through
which we lead, because that'swhat thriving really is.
It's not about constanthappiness or unshakeable
confidence, it's about wholenessand being able to show up fully

(11:45):
and be authentically you.
It's about walking your talk,taking it into your work, your
relationships, your purposethroughout your life, from a
place of embodied truth, notfrom protection.

(12:05):
And as I returned home, I knewthat this was the next
evolution, not just for me, butfor all of us who've done the
healing work and are now beingcalled to lead from it, to stop
performing strength and startembodying it, to stop helping
others from our open wounds andinstead guide them from our

(12:30):
healed ones.
To stop chasing balance andstart being it.
That trip reminded me thatpost-traumatic growth isn't a
finish line, and it isn'tsomewhere that we arrive.
It's something that we live andbreathe.

(12:51):
It's a continual unfolding andongoing integration are
remembering that every challengewe've been through.
Every single experience, everyscar, every rise has prepared us
to lead from a place of groundedstrength, soft compassion, and

(13:11):
from peace that no longer needsto prove itself.
I knew that when I came homefrom Europe, something.
Deep within me had changed.
It wasn't loud or dramatic.
It was quiet, steady, and deeplycertain.
I knew that my work could nolonger be just about healing,

(13:36):
because healing while essentialis still only part of that
story.
What we truly need, especiallyas coaches, therapists, leaders,
practitioners, and heart ledbusiness owners is integration.

(13:58):
Integration is what happens whenthe nervous system finally
trusts.
That's safety isn't fleeting.
When your heart stops armoringitself, when your mind and your
body start moving in the samedirection.
Not fighting for control, butcollaborating and joining
together in peace.

(14:19):
And from that place, somethingextraordinary happens.
We begin to lead differently Forso long.
Leadership, even in the helpingprofessions, has been about
qualifications, knowledge,expertise, and performance.

(14:42):
We learn the right language, theright frameworks, the right ways
to hold space, and while all ofthat is valuable, it can also
become a shield because if wehaven't truly integrated our own
healing, or perhaps you don'teven acknowledge that you have

(15:02):
wounds that need healing, thenwe end up leading from the same
patterns.
That we once tried to escape.
We overgive.
We overwork.
I've certainly done that one.
We keep trying to prove ourworth through our output,

(15:25):
through helping, fixing,achieving, and producing.
We say we want impact, butunderneath I think that we're
still seeking safety.
Integration changes all of that.
When you've done the work andyour body finally believes it,
not just knows it, you stopneeding to prove anything.

(15:46):
Your energy softens, yourleadership deepens, and suddenly
people aren't drawn to yourstrategies or your
qualifications.
They're drawn to you and yourpresence.
That is integrated leadership.
It's the place where traumainformed knowledge becomes lived
embodiment, where you don't justteach nervous system safety, you

(16:08):
radiate it.
Where boundaries aren't ascript, they're actually a state
of being where you can stand infront of a client, a team, or a
community, and say.
I am human.
I've been through it, but I'mhere whole and grounded.
And that groundedness, that'swhat creates trust.
That's what creates truetransformation.
The thing is integration isn'tflashy.

(16:31):
It doesn't always look likemassive breakthroughs or big
public wins.
Most of the time it looks likequiet alignment.
It's the pause before you sayyes to another commitment,
checking to see if it's comingfrom peace or from fomo.
The good old fear of missingout.

(16:51):
It's catching the urge to fix aclient and instead holding space
for their own wisdom.
It's choosing rest when your oldpattern would've chosen to
hustle.
Integration is leadership inmotion, moment by moment, breath

(17:15):
by breath.
Integration isn't about neverbeing triggered again.
It's about knowing who you arewhen you are triggered and
leading from that groundedawareness rather than from a
place of reaction.
Integrated leadership is thedifference between knowing your

(17:36):
tools and truly embodying thembetween teaching regulation.
And actually living regulated.
It's the courage to build yourbusiness, to hold space for
others to make decisions andlead conversations, not from
gaping wounds, but from scarsthat have turned into wisdom.

(18:01):
And here's the truth that I'vecome to see.
You can't lead others.
Beyond the level of integrationthat you've reached yourself.
Just listen to that and let thatsit with you for a bit.

(18:22):
You can't lead others beyond thelevel of integration that you
have reached yourself.
Hmm.
Interesting.
Hey, if you haven't yet embodiedthe healing that you talk about,
your clients will feel it.

(18:43):
They will absolutely sense thatif you are guiding people
towards authenticity, but stillhiding parts of your own story,
the energy won't land if you areteaching others to rest, but
never giving yourself permissionto exhale.
The nervous system will know,and that's why this next

(19:07):
evolution, the integratedleadership era, matters so
deeply because our world doesn'tneed more polished
professionals.
It needs embodied integratedleaders and those with lived

(19:28):
experience don't need to hidethat any longer.
We need people who have walkedthrough their own fire and
emerge, not just functional, butfree.
People who can build businesses,communities, and conversations
that are deeply rooted in truthand compassion, not perfection

(19:53):
or performance.
People who lead from healedhearts, not hidden wounds.
That's what I want this nextseason of growing tall poppies
to be about.
It's not about being done withhealing.
It's about what comes after.

(20:14):
It's about what happens when westop surviving and we truly
start leading from the insideout.
Because when we lead fromintegration, we don't just
thrive.
We become the example of what'spossible.
For everyone around us, and Ilove that the amazing guests we

(20:37):
have on growing tall poppies areconstantly showing us this.
When I first began talkingabout, and using the phrase
integrated leadership, I noticedsomething fascinating.
I could feel people leaning in,not just curious, but

(20:57):
resonating.
People would nod slowly and say,yes, I feel that exactly that.
It's as though their bodyunderstood before their mind
did.
Because deep down, most of usalready know there's a
difference between being traumainformed and being trauma

(21:19):
integrated.
Trauma informed is knowing thetheory, the neuroscience,
understanding the nervous systempatterns, attachment boundaries,
the language of safety.
It's important.
It creates awareness.
It helps us do no harm.
But being trauma integratedIntegration takes it even

(21:43):
further, and that's where you'veactually lived the work.
When your nervous system, yourwords, your energy.
They all line up.
People can feel it before youeven say a word.
It's when that awareness becomesembodied.

(22:04):
When your decisions, yourleadership style, and your
relationships all start aligningwith your healed state, it's
when safety isn't just somethingyou talk about.
It's something people feel whenthey're around you.
So why does this matter so muchright now?

(22:24):
Because let's be honest, we'reliving in a time where
everyone's nervous system isstretched thin leaders are
burning out, practitioners areholding space, but not being
held.
Coaches are trying to serve fromempty cups, therapists, coaches,
healers, business leaders.
We've been through a lot.
We're holding space for otherswhile quietly trying to hold

(22:45):
ourselves and in that state.
When we're not fully integrated,even with the best intentions,
our old patterns sneak in and westart leading from those
unhealed patterns that we workso hard to escape.
You know what I'm talking about?
We become the over giver,pouring from depletion.
We become the perfectionist,afraid to be seen without our

(23:08):
mask.
We become the rescuer trying tosave others from the pain.
We still carry ourselvesrescuing everyone else because
helping is the only way we'veever felt safe.
I see it all the time.
And I've lived it too.
And if we are not conscious, ourwork, the very thing meant to

(23:33):
liberate others becomes justanother cage that limits us.
Healed leadership changes thatwhen we've integrated our own
trauma, our leadership becomescleaner and calmer.
There's no hidden agenda.
No need to prove or perform.

(23:55):
It's not reactive, it'sresponsive.
We stop chasing validationthrough achievement.
We stop needing to prove ourvalue by fixing others.
We stop performing confidenceand we start embodying presence.
There's a power that comes whenyou lead from your healed self,

(24:19):
and it's quiet.
It doesn't need to shout orconvince.
It simply is people sense it,they relax around it.
They feel safer to be authenticbecause you are.
That's the ripple effect ofintegration.

(24:40):
You start making decisions frompeace, not from pressure.
You say no without guilt, youcreate from inspiration, not
obligation.
You stop chasing success as away to feel safe because your
safety now comes from within.
And that's what I mean when Isay lead from your healed self.

(25:06):
It is not about pretendingyou've got it all together.
It's about letting your humanitystay in the room.
While your wholeness leads theconversation, I often say you
teach most powerfully notthrough your words, but through
your nervous system.
Your energy becomes thepermission slip.

(25:31):
For example, if your body saysit's safe to slow down, your
clients will feel that.
If your leadership says.
I can be successful and soft.
Your team will begin to mirrorthat.
If your life shows that healingdoesn't end with survival, but

(25:52):
expands into joy, hope, andcreativity, your community will
rise with you.
And that's why healed leadershipmatters because transformation
isn't taught, it's transmitted.
And it's contagious in the bestpossible way.
But here's the truth, let's behonest.

(26:13):
Integration isn't easy.
It requires humility.
It asks us to pause beforereacting to notice our old
patterns creeping back to stayawake to our own edges.
It asks us to choose integrityover image.

(26:33):
Truth over performance and peaceover productivity.
And that's not the kind ofleadership that the world has
glorified.
We've been taught to lead fromour heads.
Strategy systems, intellectintegration invites us to lead
from our whole selves, our threebrains, our head, our heart, and

(27:00):
our gut.
To align these as best we can.
That's where alignment lives,that's where we access wisdom.
That isn't just intellectual,it's embodied.
And when that happens,everything changes.
Your business flows differently,your relationships deepen, and

(27:22):
your sense of purpose stopsfeeling like a chase.
And starts feeling like home.
Now, don't get me wrong,integration isn't a one and done
thing.
It is a daily practice.
It asks for honesty, it asks forhumility.

(27:42):
It's noticing where your oldprotector parts still show up
and choosing differently.
It's catching yourself beforeyou rush.
Before you fix, before you sayyes, from fear of letting
someone down, it's slowing thepace of your life enough to ask,

(28:04):
am I acting from my healed selfor my hurt self?
Right now that is inintegration.
Integrated healed leadership iswhat bridges the gap between who
we've become through healing.
Who we are meant to be throughthriving.

(28:28):
It's what allows us to holdcomplexity with grace, to lead
with both boundaries andcompassion to make impact
without self abandonment.
That's what this new chapter isabout.
Not striving for perfection, butliving in wholeness.

(28:49):
Because when we lead from healedhearts and embodied truth, we
don't just thrive, we change thenervous system of the world
around us.
And I really believe that thisis where leadership is heading,
especially in the trauma awarespace.
We've done the education, we'vebuilt the frameworks.

(29:09):
Now it's time to embody them.
'cause the world doesn't needmore people who know what safety
means.
It needs people who are thatsafety people who've done the
work, lived it, and can holdspace with grounded compassion
and unshakeable integrity.

(29:31):
That's what this next season inour work, our lives and this
podcast is all about leading notfrom the wound, not from the
mask, but from our wholeintegrated self.
Because when you do, everyonearound you feels it.

(29:51):
And that ripple, that's whatchanges everything.
So what's this mean for growingtall poppies thrive after
trauma?
From here on in, it means we'reevolving together.
We'll still talk about trauma,the nervous system, and
post-traumatic growth.

(30:13):
We'll also talk about how tolead from that growth.
How to build ethical,sustainable purpose-driven
businesses that reflect yourhealed state.
How to show up onlineauthentically without armoring
up or performing perfection.
How to integrate your humanityinto your leadership so that

(30:36):
your presence itself becomeshealing for others.
You'll hear from consciousentrepreneurs, coaches,
therapists, and embodied leaderswho are courageous enough to
share their stories andrewriting what it means to
thrive after trauma.
This is where the science ofhealing meets the art of

(30:57):
leading, and I cannot wait toexplore it with you.
So as we come to the end oftoday's conversation, I wanna
leave you with this thought.
If healing is the doorway, thenthriving.
Real embodied, thriving is whathappens when you walk through it

(31:17):
and keep going.
You don't need to race, youdon't need to force anything.
Integration is gentle work.
It's the quiet decision to keepshowing up from your healed
self.
In your relationships, in yourbusiness, in the way you speak
to yourself, it's catching themoments when old patterns

(31:41):
whisper, play small and choosingto stay open anyway.
It's noticing the urge toovergive, to overwork, to
overachieve, and pausing longenough to remember, I don't need
to prove that I'm healed.
I get to live as healed.

(32:03):
That's leadership that'sthriving.
And I think for so many of us,especially those who hold space
for others, this next chapter isreally about living the
integration.
No more compartmentalizing whowe are at work and who we are at
home.

(32:24):
No more shrinking because we'rebeing told that sensitivity
isn't strength.
No more pretending we've got itall figured out just so we can
be taken seriously.
Integrated leadership is aboutbringing all of you to the
table, the human, the healer theprofessional, the dreamer, and
letting them all coexist.

(32:46):
Because when you lead from yourhealed self, you give others
permission to do the same.
Your calmness becomescontagious.
Your authenticity becomesmagnetic and your presence
becomes healing.
And maybe that's the whole pointof post-traumatic growth.

(33:09):
Not to get somewhere, but tobecome someone.
Someone who knows that peacedoes not mean the absence of
pain, it's the presence ofwholeness.
Someone who leads, creates andconnects from that deep sense of
inner safety.
That's where the realtransformation happens.

(33:32):
So wherever you are on yourjourney, whether you're still
healing or starting to feel thattug towards something bigger, I
want you to know this.
You are exactly where you needto be.
You haven't missed your moment.
You're just being invited intoyour next evolution, and that
evolution will look differentfor each of us.

(33:55):
Sometimes it's softer, sometimesit's bolder, but it always
starts with choosing to live asthe integrated version of you.
As always, thank you for beinghere with me, for listening, for
reflecting and for rising.
This podcast has always beenabout growth, but more than

(34:18):
that, it's about truth.
The truth that we can build alife, a business, and a legacy.
That comes from peace, not frompressure.
So keep on walking through thatdoorway.
Keep allowing yourself tothrive.
And remember, your healed selfis your most powerful leader,

(34:39):
and you were born to be the tallpoppy that you are.
So keep on shining brightly andnever let anyone dim your light.
I'm Dr.
Nat Green, and this is GrowingTall Poppies thrive after
trauma.
Until next time, stay grounded,stay open, and keep leading from
love.
And if today's conversationresonated with you, I'd love to

(35:03):
hear what leading from wholenessand true integration means in
your life right now.
Share it with me on Instagram atDr.
Nat Green or tag me in yourstories.
I truly love connecting with youthere, and don't forget to like,
follow and subscribe to ourshow, so you never miss an

(35:24):
episode.
Bye for now.
Thank you for joining me in thisepisode of Growing Tall Poppies.
It is my deepest hope thattoday's episode may have
inspired and empowered you tostep fully into your
post-traumatic growth, so thatyou can have absolute clarity

(35:46):
around who you are, what mattersthe most to you, and to assist
you to release your negativeemotions.
And regulate your nervous systemso you can fully thrive.
New episodes are published everyTuesday, and I hope you'll
continue to join us as weexplore both the strategies and

(36:07):
the personal qualities requiredto fully live a life of
post-traumatic growth and tothrive.
So if it feels aligned to youand really resonates, then I
invite you to hit subscribe andit would mean the world to us.
If you could share this episodewith others who you feel may
benefit too, you may also findme on Instagram at Growing Tall

(36:32):
Poppies and Facebook, Dr.
Natalie Green.
Remember, every moment is anopportunity to look for the
lessons and to learn andincrease your ability to live
the life you desire and deserve.
So for now, stay connected.
Stay inspired.

(36:53):
Stand tall like the tall poppyyou are, and keep shining your
light brightly in the world.
Bye for.

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